Saturday, August 23, 2008

Cakes For All Occasions

Saturday, August 23, 2008

As you all know, some Wrecks are only Wrecks because of what the customer ordered to be written on them.

These are those Wrecks.



Harsh reality, sweet messenger.




Submitter Dan titled it best: "Cake for a Cheerful Nihilist".




Looking on the bright side?



Hey, this one seems familiar...




Feelin' the love.


As a Wrecktacular bonus, go back and read all the cakes in order. Freaky, eh? It's like those ransom notes made from newspaper clippings, only using cakes. Now what's crazier: the fact that these cakes exist, or that I have enough submissions to piece together almost-sentences? :)



Today's Wrecks brought to you by Amber J., Dan B., Kristen P., and James S.
Lunch Buckets said...

Bad news: delivered on cake! It's an idea whos time has come.

Girl said...

heeheehee!!!

Anonymous said...

Geesh, harsh cakes. I'd probably slap someone if I got one of them.

tasteslikeyum said...

This post = best birthday cake ever! I'm so glad my loving co-workers did not see this post before helping me celebrate Thursday.

joyce said...

and the same confetti on three of the cakes, too. Yikes. I'd be afraid to eat them...but, then I cry easily.

ChiTown Girl said...

This was hilarious! I just came across your blog yesterday through another I read, and I immediately put a link to you on my blog. (Hope you don't mind!) Thanks for the giggles!

Megan said...

Love it!

Z'rrza said...

Funny!
Scary...
Funny!
Yes, mostly just funny. Love how it all goes together.

cookiecrumb said...

O
M
G
I can't believe the gross cakes you keep finding.
Yow!

bytehead said...

I could use at least three, if not five of that last cake. I've got three interlopers right now, and the way things are going, I might need two extra for my actual 18 yo kids.

Kilroy! said...

Wow, I can't believe anyone would want to have such cakes made! Some of these are just downright mean!

Also, I guess it wasn't just a cold sore after all :P

shoesonthecat said...

OK, so they were a bit mean, but look at the bright side. They were all spelled correctly and there were no random quotation marks. Bonus points for that!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or is that first cake sitting on someone's butt???

Lisa said...

Funny to read them in order. Cant believe someone seriously put the word HERPES on a cake. Not sure I would eat it.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, my first thought was to be impressed that someone got the apostrophe correct in "At least you're pretty"

Suzie said...

Is the Nobody Loves You cake located on top of someone's butt?
I love your blog by the way.

kristin said...

Hilarious! I can always count on you for a GREAT laugh!!!

Bridget Delaney said...

Sorry, that's just not a sentence or even almost a sentence. Those are random phrases joined together. (and I'll keep the last part clean)

"Nobody loves you it just doesn't matter At least you're pretty Sorry about your Herpes Get the Tarnation out . . . No seriously!"

Thankfully, those cakes still fit the blog, though. They are, indeed, wrecks.

Aersi said...

This is hilarious. Sadly, hysterically hilarious.

Kinda makes you wonder what the decorator who pulled that order thought.

PS: Love this blog like crazy! Been reading for a couple weeks now and I can't get enough of it!

Canada said...

"It Just Doesn't Matter". Now I have the chant from "Meatballs" (summer camp movie with Bill Murray) stuck in my head!

Fluffy Cow said...

I'm speechless. I just wish those people were too!

The Baroness said...

I liked the "Nobody Likes You" cake. Having it on a cake really gives the message a bright side.

The Lunar Fox said...

Hahaha. I actually read the cake message from the bottom up to the top, and that creates a lovely little message as well. Quite creepy! LOL

Lizard said...

I really think that first cake looks like it is on someone's butt. that *is* some crack there, above the shredded denim. Yow.

Cath said...

I, for one, see more than just random phrases. I see not just almost-sentences, but a little story, of sorts.

"Nobody loves you, [but] it just doesn't matter, [and] at least you're pretty -- [still], sorry about your herpes... now get the *** out -- no, seriously!"

Isn't this what you say if you're a depressed woman who feels unattractive and has given up on love, and you're tired of hearing your girlfriend complain about her problems? You tell her: "Yeah, nobody loves you. So what? It just doesn't matter; 'love' is garbage anyway. At least you're pretty, so you can still get men. Sorry about your herpes, though, that'll slow down the sex life a bit... now get the *** out because I can't take any more of your whining. No, seriously. Hey, I've got my own problems and I can't deal with any more of yours. Now get out."

Wow, that came out even more nasty and depressing than I thought it would -- certainly more depressing than I'd think up on my own (I'm more a fluffy romance kind of girl). And of course, that effect is exactly what's so wrecktastic about this series of cakes.

Grace said...

Why is that first cake resting on someone's bum?

Chris said...

So here's my theory:
That second cake isn't actually what the customer ordered. It's another case of foolish icing people misreading the order form or foolish order-form people misinterpreting the phone call, which went as follows.

Customer: "I love rainbows. Please make sure it has a huge, cheesy-looking rainbow on it, and make sure that rainbow ends in purple flowers, because that's what I get in my Lucky Charms, not pots o' gold or nuthin'."

Order person: "Mmmmkay, got it. Rainbows, roses, blah blah blah. What else would you like on it?"

Customer: "Oh, it just doesn't matter. I'm really a big fan of rainbows, you see, and...."

Katie said...

If someone was going to tell me something that mean, I'd like for it to be on a cake. At least I could then drown my sorrows in icing. Very funny.

And the first cake isn't on someone's but, it's on her lap in the passenger seat of a car. Note cup in cup holder, etc.

Anonymous said...

I think the rainbow "it just doesn't matter" selection is a coming-out cake from an accepting giver. I only got a feather boa for my coming-out and now feel a bit ripped off. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think it's possible that these were purchased as blank decorated cakes and the messages were done at home. I doubt my local bakery would do these.

Anonymous said...

Not a butt, the first cake is on someone's legs. They are wearing a jean skirt. You can tell because the girl is sitting in a car (see the gear shift to the left). Of course it's more funny to think of it as a butt, so go ahead. ;)

n i l e e y said...

talk about being honest! At least you can scrap off the cream...

Anonymous said...

OK, evidently I am the only one who didn't see the "it just doesn't matter" cake as a non-wreck. Maybe I'm wrong, but with the rainbow at the top, I took the cake as a response to someone having announced they were gay. I thought it was great.

Jesica said...

Left you an award on my blog

Kathryn said...

The "Nobody Loves You" cake is sitting in someone's lap. Those are legs, not a butt.

...But it's still really hysterical. I'm pretty sure these cakes were jokes...I mean, it'd be terrible if they were serious. Though, admittedly, a friend of my sister's was broken up with via cookies one time.

ZombieCat said...

I, personally, think these cakes are hilarious. I have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor and LOVE the irony of a non-loving statement on a medium usually used to convey a cheesy message of love or happiness. I would laugh my butt off if I got any of these. I also tend to think that most of these statements are the products of some kind of "inside joke". I agree with the rainbow = coming out theory, and the "Get the **** out..." could be for a graduate from his/her parents. I would think it's funny.

JRM said...

Maybe I'm the only one who has a group of friends with an odd sense of humor, but I could totally see all of these cakes at one of our parties! Then again, I hang out with people who wear t-shirts that say "I like cake" and "Your favorite band sucks".

Manders said...

:-) Thanks for making me laugh!!

*~*Cece*~* said...

I'm going to have to remember some of these for the Just b/c occasions. Niiice.

Dea said...

Because cake makes EVERYTHING better.....

Mary De Bastos said...

OMG! These are halarious! What a pick me up for my day! I'm laughing out loud! Thanks!

Michelle said...

At least you're pretty... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Anonymous said...

I so deeply wish I'd taken a picture of the "Burn in Hell Ernie" cake that someone made for a friend of mine.

CaliGirl9 said...

Cakes-the new break-up/dumping text message!

Lucas Holt said...

Very funny.

Martha said...

Even Hallmark doesn't have cards for these "occasions".

Mr. Nissan said...

the animal cakes are really nice

Caroline said...

I am so happy that I found your blog! So funny!

Sandra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ellis said...

They're all so pretty and delicious and heartbreaking.

Nykie said...

I appreciate the no profanity thing, but could you take a look at "sandra's" pic. Not very attractive if you know what I mean.

Jen said...

@ Nykie - thanks for the heads up. I don't see profile pics when moderating comments, so I had no idea.

@ Sandra, if you'd like to keep posting comments here, could you please change your profile pic? Thanks!

moonlightdancer said...

hah! these are awesome...

eris said...

After having read this the other day, when I saw this comic today (8/27/08) I busted up laughing even harder. Thanks!

http://channelate.com/

CaliGirl9 said...

My daughter is planning to have a "Nobody Loves You" cake made for her boyfriend to celebrate his first week at his new job. She's positive he will have no problem whatsoever eating it.
She's just twisted like that. She thought that cake was brilliant.

CurlyQ said...

That IS a butt!

Miranda said...

lol I love the "at least you're pretty" cake.. cracks me up!

Anonymous said...

I totally loved all the cakes!!!!
Pam
http://ozarklivinandlaughin.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Get the ____ out...

finger
chicken
lead
heck
"rooster"
mountain dew
car
appendix

S. Lavon said...

This was great!!

Red Flashlight said...

I'm officially putting Cake Wrecks on my list of art blogs. Why not link to cakelava instead, you ask (which of course you would never)? Well - Cake Wrecks has something more conceptually arty to offer. Don't you think?

This particular entry made me fall off my chair. My husband and his pals once made a "Happy Birthday [expletive deleted]" cake for their 'friend.' I thought he and his buddies were alone in this idiocy! Nice to know he's normal, actually.

Kristen said...

Oh
SNAP...

Those are some of the harshest sayings put on cake I ever seen...

Tev said...

This is actually brilliant... I'm putting you on my blogroll.

Shannon said...

This post is awesome, and you're so right about reading them backwards!

macmommy said...

Haha!! Nobody loves you was my favorite. Hopefully these were meant as jokes, though. =0)

r@(#e! said...

hahahahahhaha (wipes tears)
no real tears.
people are cruel!
but those DO look delicious. . .

Eliezer said...

Unfortunately my wife didn't get a picture of it, but when she left her previous job, her boss bought her a cake that had "Good Riddence" on it.

Jenni said...

I like the black icing on the first one. It seems so dramatic.

Kate said...

Cake for a cheerful nihilist...I LOVE IT!!! I almost fell off my chair laughing. I want one to take to work.

Adidas Trainers said...

Hahahahahaahah these are brilliant I actually want a cake like this for my next birthday

aintshakespeare said...

My God...
it hurts.

wipe tears
read again

heather macleod said...

I'm one of the people who orders these cakes... I might have some pictures to send in.

lindzimae said...

The thing is, I don't think I'd even be that upset if I got a cake like this.
I'd be laughing too hard.

Sarah said...

If the "Nobody Loves You" cake isn't mine, it's a big coincidence. The cake was bought at least five years ago, and I'm dying to know where you got the picture! I cried laughing when I saw it here, as I'd completely forgotten about it.

I bought it blank at a grocery store and wrote the message on the way back to work.

"Nobody loves you" is a running joke with my friends. It was for a friend's last day at work, and I wrote that on there because he was whining that we weren't planning a going away party for him. It was well received, and it was a big boost to my day to see it again.

phantomcranefly said...

The "cake for a cheerful nihilist" reminds me a lot of this xkcd strip:

http://xkcd.com/167/

I would love to get that strip on a cake. (Or a shirt.)

Anonymous said...

When I worked at Friendly's (ice cream store in the Northeast) we had ice cream cakes for sale that our managers could decorate.
Some local college girls came in to get their friend a birthday cake. At first they wanted the message "Happy Birthday [girl's name]" written on it. They changed their mind suddenly and my manager had to write "Happy Birthday Slut Puppy" on the cake instead.

I asked her later if there were any corportate guidelines for acceptable cake decorations (there were not). She then commented, after taking a healthy drag off her cigarette, "I won't put F*** on a cake". That settled that.

If I don't get into grad school, I'm going to commission my husband to get me an "at least you're still pretty" cake. I will eat it in my bathrobe with a side of undiluted rum.

This blog is amazing, way to make a totally random topic interesting to non-bakers like me!

IckleFruity said...

I cried laughing at the 'nobody loves you' cake! It's FANTASTIC!!!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

I know this is an older post, but it was referenced to recently...

...I nearly inhaled my yogurt when I saw the 'Nobody loves you' cake. Oh, my word. Reminds me of a birthday card I got once: "We couldn't decide what kind of card to get you--one of us wanted a funny card, and one of us wanted a sweet card. So..." *open the card to see flowers and a cute bunny* "Happy Birthday, buttface!" XD

I would love to hear the backstories of some of these! (I think)

WV: Hakedop. I nearly hakedop my Activia from laughing so hard at these wrecks.

Anonymous said...

That's not a butt people, it's a girl wearing a jean skirt and those are her two legs.

la blonde vénitienne said...

Ahhhhh... The "At Least You're Pretty" Cake was for one of my roommates in college - I think someone stole that picture of her facebook, it was her profile pick for awhile about 3-4 yrs ago.. It was a joke between all my friends to say "At least you're pretty" to one another when someone was going wrong in our lives.. wasn't meant to be mean ever. :)

Scarlett Robyn said...

O.K. WHAT?!?!?!?
Funny as always, thanx!

Cupcakes Lady said...

OMG. halarious! Ive done nothing today except laugh. Thanks! xx