And since we could all use a reminder from time to time that "polite is always right," I've prepared a few handy tips.
Civility Tip #1 - Always precede a negative comment with a positive one:
Civility Tip #2 - Practice an attitude of gratitude:
And maybe your spelling.Civility Tip #3 - Instead of rudely pointing out the birthday girl's faults, try focusing on her accomplishments:
Or, if s/he has no accomplishments to speak of, then try complimenting a physical feature.
There! See how easy it is to be polite?
Now, you try!
Now, you try!
Ok, well, that's not so much a compliment as it is a reminder of old age - which is never polite. Why not try opening up, instead? You know, tell her how you really feel?
Um.Ok.
Well, while I applaud your honesty, that's...not very positive.
Ok, new tactic: Is there anything you can congratulate her on? Something worth complimenting?
Ah, much better.So remember, kids: polite is always right, and successfully kicking narcotics calls for frosted cheesecake.
Don't ask me why; it just does.
Thanks to Wreckporters Whitney M., Birdy, Susan K., Heather R., Andrea F., Gina G., & Janet S., who, for the record, have never had frosted cheesecake.
Don't ask me why; it just does.
Thanks to Wreckporters Whitney M., Birdy, Susan K., Heather R., Andrea F., Gina G., & Janet S., who, for the record, have never had frosted cheesecake.
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passiveaggressivecakes.com?
That first one has some of the prettiest writing I've seen on a cake in a long time...
I bet "nice clavicles" was an inside joke. Sounds like something a med or nursing student would say.
"So remember, kids: polite is always right, and successfully kicking narcotics calls for frosted cheesecake."
Because it's easier to kick one habit when you've got another to fall back on. And what could be a tastier addiction than frosted cheesecake? And it would quickly help you add on the pounds lost to heroin addiction. Or something.
Wonder if the "tolerable" one is a Pride and Prejudice reference?
Please tell me these are all friendly jokes (well, except for not going to jail and kicking opiates - those can be real).
Word verification = screblin - Wreckerator: "Hold on a minute; I've got some screblin to do on these here cakes, coz folks wants words on 'em."
The 1st and 3rd have great handwriting! (Thinking positive.)
I guess I'd rather be called "tolerable" than ... a whole bunch of nastier things.
*teaspit* Aw, geez, I just cleaned the screen yesterday!!
About lost it on the 'never been to jail'.... But I love the celebration of noteworthy accomplishments!!
~~Di
I am going to ask for my cake this year to say 32 and Never been to jail. I think that rocks.
I'm hoping the first two cakes were for people in the hospital? Or maybe the second one was for somebody in jail, and it had a tasty, iron-rich file filling?
- DB
wv: musedata, as in, "they were not a musedata their cakes!"
the subtle joke in the last cake is hilarious.
What exactly are those marks all over the 60-year-old's cake? Animal print of some sort? Confetti? Wrinkles?
For my mother's 60th birthday this summer, we got her a cake that said "Happy Birthday, you're 8 1/2 (in dog years)".
I also wondered if "Tolerable" was a P&P reference, but shouldn't they have added an "I suppose" to really nail it.
The "clavicles" one made me think immediately of this fight from Metal Gear: Ghost Babel ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV2xiEPzWWU
Yeaaaah, giant nerd hat over here. :3
Clavicals? Is that something similar to clavicles?
Poor Whitney! They hate having her around AND they nom her cake before she can photograph it! That's cold, man.
this post reminds me of Home Movies' Compliment Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75zeLwreamI
or was it supposed to???
Mmm...I'd take 'never been to jail' as a compliment if I could have that cake. It looks delicious.
Even better, I might pick up opiates if people were going to get me cheesecake when I quit! Yum :)
I have to disagree with you on one point - "You Are Tolerable" is VERY positive. You should have seen the "You Are INtolerable" cakes they rejected!
I get so freaking confused by these cakes. How does ANYONE think putting some of these messages on cakes is a good idea?!
Are those leaches on the 60 cake?!
Is that cream cheese frosting on the opiates cake? If so, then, heck, anything's a good excuse for that.
And Whitney's cake has such nice handwriting and smooth frosting too.
--Blue Jean
"You have nice clavicles" is a line from the TV series True Blood. Teri said that to Arlene.
I feel almost certain the "You have nice clavicles" is a quote from a movie I have seen recently. But Google failed me.
Could the leeches on the 60th birthday cake have been meant for tiger stripes? The cake is orange(ish).
The last cake reminded me of a 1 Year Clean party we threw for a friend who went through rehab to kick painkillers. The cake we got him was in the shape of a large capsule with "Percocet" written across it in the most beautiful calligraphy ever. No pictures (of course!), but he laughed so hard, he cried. Some of the guests were less than . . . enthusiastic.
Sometimes inside jokes are best left unexplained.
Can I skip the opiates, and go right to the cheesecake?
"You have nice clavacals" almost makes it, but then it misspells "clavicles." The dictionary is your friend, bakers.
On the other hand, "Sweet 16 Never been to jail" strikes me as something to celebrate. Beautiful cake (or tart or whatever it is), too. I'd eat that.
I love it!
So funny!
Hmmmm... like the comment I got on one of my blog posts: "This is the funniest thing I've ever read. If I'd never read anything at all."
Single Dad Laughing
"You have nice clavicals" is a True Blood Season 1 reference, I believe....Could be wrong, but I think Hoytt Fortenberry says it to a girl he's trying to impress.
"You have nice clavicles" is Egon to Janine in Ghostbusters.
It IS a True Blood line. But I was incorrect. Teri says it to Arlene! Just pulled out my DVDs to look it up! lol!
Clavicles. Dude, he couldn't even spell clavicles.
I'm totally in love with the "you are tolerable" cake. May have to use that for family sometime soon.
I'm surprised Jen didn't comment on the misspelling of "clavicles"
Alex F.,
People get tweaked at us when we point everything out. Plus, the vast majority of our readers are stinkin' brilliant so we figure they'll catch most of them.
Peace out, yo!
john
My 4 year old niece asked me to click on a cute cake in this post. As we scrolled down, she discovered that there are no cute cakes. Too bad she can't read to understand that saying no to drugs gets you a cheesecake:)
I see I'm not the only one whose mind immediately went to Pride and Prejudice with the "tolerable" one. I wonder if the recipient was a Jane Austen fan. Not sure what the deal is with the tie-dye airbrushing though...
As for the others, I'm trying to decide if I want to know the stories behind them (because inscriptions that strange have to have some kind of story attached).
I think I'm going to copy that sweet 16 one - the teens'll love it!
Your clavicles are better accentuated via use of opiates, but then you have to get the monkey off your back man. Then you get the cake. ok then. wow.
once again I just LONG to see what the wreckerator /clients look like.\ mad props on the pretty handwriting though.!
Thanks for all the compliments on the first cake, I made that and the master wrote on it.
Whitney is my friend btw and that was a surprise (and friendly) gift to her.
I am proud to say that I ordered the first cake on this post for a friend. It is, indeed, an inside joke, and one that the bakery didn't get. When a friend went to pick it up, they were afraid to give it to him, thinking someone in their kitchen had made a horrible, horrible mistake.
I laughed harder at the comments, specifically the revelation that the over-rated "True Blood" ripped off "Ghostbusters."
"You have nice clavicals"... OMG... ROFLMAOH.
Now THAT'S what I call "damning with faint praise"! (At least the baker spelled "clavicals" correctly).
My friends from breast cancer support group often say what's on the first cake, glad you found us but hate that you're here...
I like the fact the "congratulations on kicking opiates" cake looks like a big giant pill. Also that they spelled "congratulations" correctly.
I imagine the first couple of cakes ("we hate that you're here") are about hospital stays.
Love the "kicking opiates" cake. Hey, celebrate the good stuff, no matter what it is.
They're a bit premature on the kicking opiates one... unless that's a vegan cheesecake.
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=casomorphin
http://www.movie-page.com/scripts/Ghostbusters.htm
I think "You have nice clavicles" is a quote from Ghost Busters.
I don't know how accurate this script is because I have't seen it in a while.
I LOVE the sweet sixteen cake, its hilarious ^_^
heheheheh any excuse for cake
Had to think of this:
"I'm not allowed to eat cheesecake. Just protein shakes, falcon eggs, and rocks." - A Very Potter Sequel
I'm picturing the Sweet 16 cake being ordered by the grandparents of the birthday girl's toddler. And it is gorgeous.
I wonder if the tolerance cake is a gay reference; the rainbow color motif is what made me think about that. So often, people use the word "tolerance" in conjunction with "gays," and I've heard people balk at that. "I'd like to be more than tolerated." I wonder if it's an inside joke based on that?
I share names with whoever had the first cake...including last initial...I about died laughing when I saw it!
Lol I think I nearly choked on my soda reading all these cakes. Wow such anger these wreckerators are showing. Some are actually kinda pretty in a way but nothing beats the thank god your leaving cake. Heck I would have liked that one when I left to get married lol. Because I would agree with it :D.
I tried to be polite to all these cakes, but damn, it's more fun being snarky!
#1 The handwriting is so beautiful, and they even spelled "you're" correctly. It was very sweet of Whitney's cellblock to get her a cake to commiserate her having to spend her birthday in prison. Plus there's a file baked inside.
#2 The recipient of the cake is a lovely person who was expected to leave the ICU on a slab. Everyone is so happy she is leaving on her own two feet that they got her a cake.
#3 Whitney's sister may be a slut, but so long as she doesn't charge for it, she can celebrate her birthday on the outside.
#4 See? I told you it didn't take much to get with Whitney's sister.
#5 Recipient recently lost her job as a zebra tamer for being unqualified. Cake intended to remind her she is qualified for something.
#6 This is a touching breakthrough from a father to his gay son. After many years of separation he took to heart Jesus' words of love and tolerance and made the first step. Next year he might let his son eat off the china instead of giving him a paper plate for his cake.
#7 It's a poppyseed cake.
Riiiiiiiight! Sure! If you honestly say so. While the cakes LOOK good enough, I'm sure there has to be a logical explanation for some of this. Are these honest mistakes or did someone ACTUALLY order these things? Some I can say 'yes, they probably did,' but the rest confuse me. I'm going back to bed.
hi good day
#1 The wreckerator was afraid they had made a mistake? Having no fear (or awareness) of mistakes is what makes a wreckerator in the first place. Since this is a properly-executed inside joke (even spelled correctly and written legibly!), this is no wreck. The 'share and enjoy' area at the side is probably part of the joke. One hopes.
#2 Perhaps this cake was to celebrate the successful restoration to health of a favorite rosebush. At least the 'G' is capitalized. That almost atones for the missing apostrophe and 'e'.
#3 The line used to be, "Sweet 16 and never been kissed." That went out about the time I was born, so I wonder what the cakeworthy occasion will be in 10 years -- 'Hasn't Killed Anyone Today (that we know of)'? I join Mr. Incredible in asking, "Why do they keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity?!"
#4 [Singing] "Three of these letters are not like the other ones..."
"Let's see... C-l-a-v-i-c...wait, is it l-e-s or a-l-s? Clavic-less or clavic-ALs? Ohmygod, it must be a-l-s! I'm like totally glad I learned phonics and stuff! I gotta go -- finish it for me, newbie."
#5 "I told you having this party on the 'African Queen' was a bad idea -- the leeches would get to the cake in no time! Plus, I was far from sure we'd make it back, what with that engine sounding like it did. But the captain was a real character." Bonus: Shop-note-as-inscription. Who needs tact, anyway?
#7 As an major fan of cheesecake, I am fairly certain the surface of this cake is frosting-free. Except for the writing, of course. I'll add my own congratulations to the recipient, and to the decorator for the nice writing and spelling.
All good things deserve cheesecake -- why is this one a wreck?
I was given a cake with an abusive message on it once. I ate it anyway, but it tasted of regret.
haha always a lovely read!
I agree with what some have already said--some of these cakes have such lovely writing! I love the first and last ones, and the "sweet 16" cake.
We've done a couple of inside-joke cakes, the most fun of which happened around the time Napoleon Dynamite came out. My friend's mother had overcome a difficult health challenge and decided to turn over a new leaf in life and go back to school to get her degree. So of course, we made my friend a cake that said "Your MOM goes to college" and decorated it with tater tots. :D
#4 is definitely not a professional cake! The cake part looks fine but the writing is horrible. I just can't believe that that's a professional cake. However, the "Sweet Sixteen" cake had beautiful handwriting!!
I am demanding a "You are tolerable" tie-dyed cake for my birthday this year. Love it.
I was once told I have nice shoulders, which was nice...but it was after my friends little brother tried massaging them...ew.
Some of these are hilarious! And I hope are just jokes.
That never been to jail cake is just gorgeous! If someone's gonna congratulate me on THAT...well, at very least it should be on THAT cake.
lol... these cakes are funny! The second cake is perfect for a friend who's leaving town next weekend. :)
Too funny. But how could anyone actually write some of these things on a cake? I don't get it.
The opiates cake made another of my favorite blogs"
http://drgrumpyinthehouse.blogspot.com/2010/08/party-on-dude.html
I so wish I could have brought that first cake brought to every single family reunion that my cousin Whitney attended...
"you are tolerable" Who doesn't want to hear that?!
LMBO!!! "Congrats on kicking opiates!!!" That's hilarious!!
Now you need a cake celebrating completing the steps at "Overeater's Anonymous."
Or "I beat anorexia."
:)
I think the "nice clavicals" cake could be a reference to an Alkaline Trio song with a line that says "I wanna wake up next to you kissing the curve of your clavicals"...But then again, I could be giving these people way too much credit.
Any fan of Chris Rock's would have preferred the "never been to jail" cake to be a giant cookie instead.