FINALLY.
And you know what that means, right?
Time to buy a cake.
(No, I've never met anyone named "Pole" before, either. But - BUT - John is Polish. So...um...maybe I sometimes affectionately refer to him as "Pole," ok? You don't know. Look, bottom line: just WORK WITH THE PUN, people, ok? Work...with the pun.)
With healthy stuff, of course!
You know, like oil-soaked Cheetos:
Erm. Wrong oil.
Or perhaps some exotic plant life:
Or, um, vampire ants?
>:= <--That's my vampire ant emoticon. You like?
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So, first of all, that juicy looking one really DOES look just like Audrey II! Crazy...
Also, "Pole" could be a last name, yeah? Like in the Chronicles of Narnia, Jill goes by her last name, Pole almost the whole time.
Hahaha!!! Gallagher!
(but the "ants" look more like leeches on the "oily" melon) *shudder*
Ewwww.... There's sperm on my watermelon.
Seedy... haha. I like it!
So I was going to mention Jill Pole from the Chronicles of Narnia, but Gina got there first. :<
That ICU watermelon is freaking me out. It's eyes follow me wherever I am in the room. Yikes!
Ooh! I can make you a shirt like that! Or you can make one for yourself...
http://spreadshirt.com
LOL, love that last one!
*seconds Gina's Narnia vote*
And I love the emoticon.
Those are not oil-soaked cheetos... those are clearly leaches.
Little Shop of Horrors! One of my all time faves! I gotta say though, that "watermelon" looks WAY scarier than Audrey II ever did!!
I want Crazy Lou! Bring back Crazy Lou!!!
Feed me Seymour. Feed me all night lo-ong!
Hurray for Little Shop of Horrors, one of the cheesiest B-horror movies made into a hilarious musical. Adding watermelon would have indeed made it creepier.
Feed me Seymour. Best line. EVER!
I'm on Team Mortimer!
My daughter said, "Hey! There's worms on that cake!" when she saw that second one. :)
Have any of these wreckerators actually seen a watermelon?
Does the second one look like the nucleus to a cell to anyone else?
And why would anyone want to eat anything that looks like squished spiders on it?!?
I feel shame. Other people went to the Narnia reference with "Pole." I went to the junior-high snickering at calling your husband that...
And, btw, I love the vampire ant emoticon!
Gina beat all of us...Jill Pole was my immediate thought! :)
Read "The Silver Chair" by C.S. Lewis and you'll know who Pole is:) There really is someone of that name!!
Haha, did you ever read "Bunnicula" as a child? The last cake reminds me of one of those books... "IT'S A WHITE ZUCCHINI!" Okay, you have to read it to get it, but it's a fond memory. ;)
The emoticon reminds me more of the rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail!
Which makes sense, because I thought the vampire ants must be working with Bunnicula!
http://www.amazon.com/Bunnicula-Rabbit-Tale-Mystery-Deborah-Howe/dp/1416928170/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1280847478&sr=1-1
Err, cake #2? The olive looking thing...you've got caterpilliars :P
What about Polgara's nickname, from David Edding's Belgariad/Mallorean series? (Though I pronounce it more like "pahl" in my head...)
Reminds me of a pun on utensil I once tried, assuming there's a name "Sil" out there...
Oh, and...those cakes are wrecky. Mm-hmm.
Everyone else is laughing about the ants, or Pole... but I'm still snickering at the first couple of lines. Why buy a CAKE on Watermelon Day?
Cake #2 looks like it was decorated by my elderly cat who doesn't always make it all the way into the litter box.
Wow, first tadpoles and then...leeches! Yes, just what I wanted on my cake! And I would SO eat that big cootie-lipped cake, a cookie is still a cookie. :) Love the Gallagher reference (whatever happened to him? He was hilarious! Someone should do a Gallagher cake!)
Hey! I'm Polish too! :)
These are awesome. I love that national watermelon day is in the summer. I guess that makes sense haha. But what's more awesome is that I'm sitting on the couch next to an open window and need a blanket on national watermelon day. I love living in the northwest.
Pole is also a character in the Ender's Game series (I think she's featured a lot Ender's Shadow).
Hip hip for Pole!
ewww, the one with the ants just really grosses me out!!!
Ha! I totally forgot about sending that CCC in! The weirdest thing for me is that the grocery store where I found it is no longer in business. It was an Albertson's, which went out of business here in Orlando and the buildings were bought out by Sedano's.
When I worked at a preschool in Boston I used to tell the kids stories about "Mortimor" the ugly-but-friendly troll that lived in the T...
seriously i dont think some of these people have every seen watermelon before!
Watch out: Your vampire emoticon is dangerously close to a Hitler emoticon.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/hitler-emoticons
-Karen
Love the black oil!
Definitely sperm on that first one!
I was going to mention The Silver Chair, from the Narnia series but that Gina beat me to it.So I got the name of the book in!
Because my sister was sort of named after Jill Pole, Gina said what I was thinking. She's also named after Bruce Campbell, but that's another story for another time.
@Amanda--YES! I immediately thought BUNNICULA! on the last one. Now I have to go buy it for my daughter....
I have to send in a 3rd or a 4th "Woot" out for Bunnicula.
Loved the vampire ant emoticon and must say that although I read The Chronicles of Narnia, Ender's Game and the Belgeriad, each with a Pole character, my mind immediately went to the gutter. Go Jen Go!
~A different Jenn in Forest Grove
Many years ago, my friend was in a sailboat contest. He was of Polish descent (had a great name to prove it) and had a beard.
The rules called for not using the whisker pole on the boat during the race.
Someone jokingly called out my friend's team for using a "whiskered Pole".
SueKuKu
who is a Narnian expert and loved the transformation of Jill Pole from "The Silver Chair" to "The Last Battle"
The ICU one looks like a whale with a really bad rash.
I actually went to highschool with someone named "Pole" but it was spelled Pohl.
Okay, the little watermelon with the eyes is just freaking adorable!
(p.s. my captcha word is "bakers"... WIN!)
Little Shop of Horrors 2: Audrey II vs. Mortimer the Vampire Ant!!!
Hey! That last cake is repeat!
Awwww, didn't think that bottom one was so bad..compared to the cupcake thing, it's a work of art!
I don't know about tadpoles on the first one but they definitely look like swimmers.
Actually, if somebody would please call Gallagher, he'd know just what to do with these cakes...
Actually, compared to the others in this post, the first cake with the tadpole/sperm/minnows wasn't too horrible. I thought it at least vaguely resembled a real watermelon.
And much love to the fellow bunnicula fans. That last one definitely looks like something out of "The Celery Stalks at Midnight."
I WANT a Mortimer the Vampire Ant t-shirt. And I absolutely love the emoticon. I think I"m going to use it for regular vampire stuff, though. Not a huge need for vampire ants.
I need a "Beware Mortimor the Vampire Ant" t-shirt as well!
;-)
how about "just a tad, Paul"?
Does the ICU watermelon remind anyone else of Coco from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends? http://bestuff.com/images/images_of_stuff/210x600/coco-36901.jpg?1173104840
@:-E
This is my husband's "Elvis vampire" emoticon. Don't ask me why Elvis has three fangs... perhaps because he's the king?
yeah I'm not sure how those "seeds" on the second cake look like oily cheetos. They are definitely leaches, which is much worse.
- Syd
I've been off Cake Wrecks, cold turkey, since last Wednesday due to computer problems. Thanks for serving watermelon for my return. That is watermelon, isn't it? Isn't it?
me like vampire ants :-)
Actually, the 4th cake reminds me of those annoying plants in the Mario games that pop out of the pipes and get you just when you think it's safe.
Beware Mortimor the Vampire Ant!!!! I would buy that shirt! You would think decorators could make a decent watermelon cake since its such a simple design.
That explains why I've been craving watermelon all day! It makes so much sense that my body just knew it was National Watermelon Day. Either that or it's the fact that I'm 9 months pregnant. It has to be the Watermelon Day thing, though...
Super Ewww. The ants made my skin crawl!!
hehehehhehe good one
Aw, mitochondria cake...so cute.
Sperm cake, goat-droppings cake, whale-melon cake, upside-down smiling watermelon cake and a picnic invasion. Well, that's what they look like. Surely a watermelon is not that hard to commit to memory? Even I know what one looks like when cut. duh!
Oh my just thinking about what those "seeds" remind me of makes me want seedless watermelons from now on lol. And the vampire ants had me nearly on the floor laughing. I say nearly because if I fell to the floor in the dark I would likely stay there and not bother typing lol. The ants would get me for sure.
#1 Is there something in the Wreckerator Code that says that oval objects (watermelon seeds, balloons) must appear to be *swimming*?
#2 Wrong oil? The statement presumes there is a right oil for soaking Cheetos. Well, scratch those off the snack menu. Healthier eating through aversion-producing imagery -- another benefit of reading this blog.
#3 My wife-to-be is a nurse, so to me, 'ICU' automatically means, 'Intensive Care Unit'. That works here, too, for some odd reason.
Do we know what the er, 'accessories' are on #4? They appear to be dead -- I can't decide if that helps or not. Continuing the theme...
#5 Of all the ways to flotsamize a wreck, why ants? Are poo blobs not enough anymore? Is it already time for the gross-out Olympics again?
wv: emonw. A bonus anagram!
Update on #2: The label reads in part: "Choc. Devil Food".
Knowing the intended recipient helps make some sense of it.
Does "devil food" (or "devil's food" as it used to be known before apostrophes were banned in bakeries) come in a variety of flavors, or did the wreckery match a lack of knowledge of watermelon with a gift for redundancy?
The second-to-last one is clearly a rare, Northern South Amsterdamian Venus Watermelon Fly-trap. Those poor ants are about to be lured to their doom. DOOM, I TELL YOU... DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM. (Doomity, doom, DOOM-doom, doom, doom).
I just wanted to thank you for providing me (and my friends) with hours and hours of amusement with this blog. :)
"FEED ME, SEYMOUR!"
Oh how I laughed and laughed!
And here I thought leeches were so 15th century, silly me.
Eyes on a watermelon, I mean we've humanized animals to death, guess we're going after the fruit next. Yes, Ice Age would be a different movie if done from that coconut's point of view, a lot more boring, long periods of laying on the ground and/or floating in water, I wonder, do sharks "taste" ocean going coconuts? But definitely would have been a different movie.
sensatonal these look great love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tee hee-our last name is Pohl and I so wanted to name our son Tad, but sadly, was voted down by the rest of the fam.
Okay, if you spell it "Paule", it is a French name that is pronounced "Pole".
(P.S. I often have to reload the page a few times so that I can see the word verification... the image doesn't show up most of the time. IE 8 with Vista.)
Silly me, I ate watermelon for watermelon day (yes, I observed it -- kids with nothing to do for the summer). The one holiday that doesn't already center around eating unhealthy food, we're supposed to buy a cake for?
I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but the girl in the first picture - is she an actual child? It looks like a doll. Or was the photo airbrushed? What child has skin that clean, all over? And her nail polish isn't chipped? Really?
Sorry - it's just kinda creeping me out.
LMAO at the seymour one. Do people really get cakes for national watermelon day? i guess so... i didn't even know such a day existed lol
check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com
But...but.. I've MADE a watermelon cake. It's NOT. THAT. DIFFICULT. I just don't understand how these people get jobs. If you can't execute the watermelon cake or the cheeseburger cake, you shouldn't have the job. Just sayin'.
@BADKarma!: Ants lured to their doom? I'm totally down with that. How's this for a concept: a 'vortex of doom' cake (one of the wreckier cornucopias should do nicely) with a line of ants marching right into it.
@Bookette, I agree.
What do people eat on National Cake Day?
Gallagher. *gigglesnort*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love all of your blogs, but this one...is...the...best!!!
I would buy your vampire ant t-shirt! But only if you spelled it "Mortimer," like my last name.
@Bookette, yes the girl is real. She's my 4 year old and she has beautiful skin and eyes. Totally forgot I had sent this photo in, much less that she was in it. She was excited to see herself on cakewrecks!
oh god, "FEED ME SEYMOUR!" was priceless.
Ah, the Little Shop of Horrors reference filled me with glee. :)