The store selling these cakes (oh yes, there are more!) claims that they are watermelons.
Riiiight.
As you can see from this other example, the "slice" appears to have drifted southward over time, resulting in the truly unfortunate and rather alarming spectacle you see here. In fact, this guy could be the new spokesman for certain "personal care" items, don't you think? Can't you just see him bouncing across your television screen, his squeaky voice telling you to "ask your doctor if HerpAway is right for you!"?
Thanks to Bahktin for the pic, originally posted here.
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115 comments | Post a Comment
Hey Jen,
I have a really ugly cake from our rehersal dinner. How do i send it to you?
Caity
Caitybug22@hotmail.com
haha, the red part is supposed to be the guts?
If I was that frog, I'd get those black bumpy spots looked at!
Hallie
Hi, Just wanted you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed this blog. My SIL hooked my up with it. I used to be a cake decorator, so I can appreciated this whole site. It's amazing what some people and some decorators can do (or not do) to a cake. Thanks for sharing.
I'm speechless...
Tracy
OMG, I think I must now always start my day with a cake wreck! You brighten my day with the social commentary and the pics, OMG, I just keep laughing so hard, I cry. Wonder if I could get that printed on a cake.
I have to also admit, I've NEVER EVER had these experiences with cakes. What I've ordered has always come out correctly. So seeing these things, well, it just becomes that much more funny!!
Thank you for making my day!!
ah, Jen...you make me laugh. That picture makes me itchy.
The cake itself looks kind of worried.
AHAHAHAHA.
Win.
I was looking up information on watermelons and I read that the "flesh consists of highly developed placental tissue within the fruit."
Between that quote and that picture, I'm never eating watermelon again.
LOL!! I could probably get that it's a watermelon if it didn't have, you know, great bulging eyes or arms and legs ;p
Like that, it just looks like a very unfortunate female critter that really needs to visit her gynecologist!!
oh dear Kermit has Herpes!
Ewwww... that's so horrid! They need to fire that cakemaker. First of all, why does the watermelon have eyes and arms? It's clearly a vagina when you add body parts!
Once again, your blog has made me laugh until I cried. Thank you for making me smile first thing this morning!
Gayle
http://www.gayletrent.com
Okay, before reading about the pic, I tried to decide if it was a very bad Kermit or if it was an OLIVE! Watermelon?? NEVER! Happy Friday and cheers! ~holds up coffee~
Besides laughing at their idea of how you cut watermelons, I find it wholly disturbing that they thought it was a good idea to make the watermelon a "person." I mean, it's one thing to eat a cake that looks like a My Little Pony (one of my first birthday cakes growing up) but it's something else to have a watermelon-man frosted so that it looks he's committing seppuku.
um yeah. and what exactly is that supposed to be?!?! and who would buy it?!? it looks like a really bad groom's cake!
I am not sure of the last time I saw a watermellon with eyes?? Thanks for the laughs keep them comming:)
And I just THOUGHT the feet cakes
were disgusting.
Who would do that to an innocent cake?
You know, it wouldn't be that bad if it ditched the limbs and the eyes.
But with them...
....ew. I'd buy one just for the hilarity, but it would be 'fun' trying to force myself to eat it.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I'd still rather eat this one than the faeces-and-flies cake, but ...
I'm not sure this will get approved but all I can think is "vagina"! Especially the one in the link.
My goodness this is indeed a wreck.
ok - having just spent that last 20 minutes digging through this new gem that is your blog...
Oh my god...
SERIOUSLY?
that's too much - the second cake looked like an evil alien va-jay-jay.
eesh!
O M G
Horrific! I'm with Amy, it looks like an olive to me. But no matter what it is, it's wrong, wrong, a thousand times wrong.
Oh dear!
Uh....!!
I have a picture of our Super Bowl cake from years ago....we said to write Pittsburgh "Steelers" and when we went to pick it up it said, "STEALERS!" We took it home like that....would you like a picture?
Nevermind the fact that if someone was feeling in a watermelon state of mind that they could...eat. a. watermelon.
Isn't a watermelon cake a little bizarre? Unless of course you own a watermelon farm, have just been crowned the county watermelon princess queen, or some such.
Hmmm...Poor Kermit!!
If they claim this is a watermelon....why add legs and eyes...OMG, It would have been much better without..lol!
Why do I feel like they couldn't make up their mind about the cake? Were they going for a frog or were they going for a watermelon? These are two things that SHOULD NOT be mixed.
Watermelons should never have eyes and hands, especially if you are going to cut them open.
My next question...people actually buy these cakes?
if its suppose to be a watermelo, then why the arms and legs??? Wierd!
Love your blog these cakes are hilarious
Jenna
http://newlyweds.wordpress.com/
i have to order a cake in a few weeks, and part of me hopes it turns out awful so i can submit it to you! :) But since it's for a child's baptism, I hope it is just what i order.
Thank you for making me laugh each day!
I am wondering:
1. Have they actually sold any of these cakes?!
and
2. Exactly what occasion are these cakes appropriate for? I am afraid to ask!
In a very sick way, it is kinda cute :s
Since when do watermelons have eyes? Or vaginas for that matter?
I think those spots need medical attention STAT.
Awesome, I know what to bring to the next office pot luck!
You just keep topping the gross factor! My gosh, WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING!!!!!!!!!
This is so wrong. So very, very wrong. A watermelon? Please. That is a sick and perverted frog!
Honestly, I dont know which picture was worse..1 or 2? 1 looked like a whole body shot and the 2nd one looked like a closeup!
WOW, I can't stop laughing, that is sooo bad. Not to mention ewww who would want to eat that. And no it oes NOT look like a watermelon. Yuck....
Amy
Ok, even if it is supposed to look like a watermelon, I don't see why it has to have arms, legs, and buggy eyeballs put on it. What kind of freaky watermelons did they eat at THAT GUY'S house growing up???
My watermelons were appendageless, couldn't look at me, and didn't have gaping wounds that kinda of deter one from wanting to eat them.
People are so freaking WEIRD!
Oh. God.
Can't. Breathe.
Must. Stop. Laughing. (That cake in the link is pretty horrifying too, but this one really... er... takes the cake.)
*tilts head to the side* why would a watermelon need arms legs and eyes? Thats disturbing in of itself.
That is one creepy design.
~Kia
Words fail me, I'm laughing too hard. If I were a kid, I would be afraid of that cake. If I were a 14 year old boy ---- I shudder to think... You've outdone yourself and THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
heck, put this one together with yesterday's "no sexual harassment" cake and you've got yourself a party! an awkward, awkward, party.
That is wrong on so many levels.
And the other example pic with the higher location of the *ahem* bits - is even naughtier - like some cartoon vulva for a health class....
Do some people just not look at the anatomies of humans??? Are they that clueless as to what "it" looks like "down there"???
Maybe it might have been more believable if they'd made the dark green and light green lines that are on watermelon. And if they'd neglected to give it arms, legs, and googly eyes. And if they'd made the "cut" bit a bit sharper instead of a jagged gash.... Maybe...?
I thought at first that this was just the first step toward bringing together the horrible pregnant cakes with the baby butt cakes :-)
I agree with Amy_D. Before trying to read what it was SUPPOSED to be, I wanted to figure out what it is. I thought it was an olive as well. I never figured it for a watermellon. OMG! I love it.
I've been sharing this site with co-workers. It is providing us a good laugh each day. keep it up.
Thanks for the laughs. A friend turned me onto your blog and I laugh so hard I cry sometimes.
This cake is horrid. Makes me never want to eat cake again!
disturb-me-a....i love your blog. you're stinkin' funny as all get out.
The ruffles around the ..bits...make it even worse.
That's - that's - that's - what the heck is that?!?
Oh dear. I just finished going through your archives with one hand half covering my eyes. A futile attempt to shield myself from the horror, but an entertaining time nonetheless. Thanks for the laughs!
Bri
This cake looks like an autopsy in progress.
they could have lied and called it an OLIVE!! :)
(under neat that)
LOVE THIS SITE !! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! :)
I checked this out this morning and laughed so hard my husband came to see what was happening. I came back this afternoon to see if it was still as bad....It is! Still laughing. NO Body is eating that cake! HerpesRUs
There's no way that's not intentional. No way. Someone must be very bored and trying to cheese someone off. How could you make something like that and NOT realize... *headshake*
Hi! I stumbled over here from JustJennRants, and you totally killed all productivity for the last oh, 20 minutes.
Thanks!
I cannot stop laughing!
hubby and i laughed so hard, we're in tears!
That's an absolute riot!
Yeah, yeah, it kinda looks like a green vag. What it reeaaaally looks like to me is one of the Troggles from the Number Munchers computer game. I was a little bit afraid of them in elementary school, and so I'm also afraid of this damned cake. D:
Poor Kermit :(
OMG... I'm speechless
my eyes are tearing, my stomach hurts from laughing, and i drooled on my keyboard.
thank you.
this site is amazing.
OMG, this blog is freakin' hiLARious! Am posting about it tonight on my own blog to spread the word!!
That is really disturbing...
"Ask your doctor if HerpAway is right for you!"
Hahahaha... I love your commentary. The cakes are very amusing indeed, but often it's your commentary I end up quoting out loud to go along with the cake that makes my significant other chuckle or outright laugh. XD
You know, I kind of want to make a "gash" joke, but even I'm not quite that crude.
Thank you for this blog! My husband and I have read a few entries every day this week and have gone through the whole blog.
Last week, my husband seriously injured his eye. I won't gross you out with the details. He is homebound and pretty miserable. My friend told me about your blog, and it has helped keep his spirits up. I scroll to the cake wreck picture, he squints at it with his good eye,(go ahead and laugh, it IS funny) and then I read your awesome comments to him. You have us roflol.
Thanks!
I read your blog for nearly an hour. I think it's very intelligent, and very specific, which means good reading! Love for you to check out my blog, which is about writing & bizarre sights in Chicago and New Jersey. I hope you'll find it as entertaining as I found yours,
Stephanie
Oh, wow. I found this site through Best Week Ever, and now am an avid reader. This is the first time that I am posting, though. Let me say... these cakes are hilarious, and your commentary is fantastic.
Please, PLEASE! Keep up the good work!
And that cake... ROFLMAO. That is just BAD.
'HerpAway' *snorts* Heeeee! Pure gold.
At any point whatsoever did a bakery manager say gosh, maybe we should rethink placing this cake on the shelf for customers to view (much less consider buying)?
Someone stuck in the dim recesses of a bakery apparently believes negative attention is better than no attention at all.
First time here. I've added you to my favs and linked you on my blog. Great stuff!
I think they might make a cream for that malady Kermie has!
That is unfortunate. Kermit has a gaping hole.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
http://phelpssaveschildren.blogspot.com
i just found this site and wasted my morning looking through every post. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.
Oh my goodness!! I just found your blog. Thank you for some great laughs. What a funny way to start out my morning. I love it.
your site is one of the funniest I read, and now my teenager and her friends are hooked as well. It was the sasha cake...her name is sasha and she's about to leave for her first year of college, so I used the cake wreck as part of a good-bye card--we're all devoted fans now. thank you for your efforts and wit.
The funniest thing to me is the expression and body language (can you call it that?)of the little guy...uh,gal...
It looks really confused.
I can't imagine why.
I've just discovered your blog via D-Listed Decor and spent the past hour reading every single post. To a blog-junkie like me, this one is pure smack... The sugar-frosted kind!!
By the way, that frog/watermelon cake is embarrassingly bad. The naughty implications are .. wow.
It may be a bit off topic, but go to www.rosebudcakes.com if you want to see the best cake design studio in the country!
oooh, kermit's naughty bits have spots!
you make me laugh till I pee.
keep 'em coming!
oh my gosh. that is hilarious!!!!
The photo came from a Fred Meyer store, and I shop at that chain regularly. I will _so_ be checking out the cake section!
I've suddenly lost my appetite. Who would've thought that both cake and watermelon could suddenly become un-appetizing? :)
The shocked "watermelon" eyes are really what sells it. It reminds me of the "congratulations on becoming a woman" cake we used for a prop in a play once. If only we'd thought of giving the cake a vagina!
So glad I found your blog ...needed the laugh. Off to send your link to everyone!
http://www.birthdaypartyideas4kids.com
Sweet lord, this blog is brilliant. I LOL-ed, literally. Nice work.
i freaking love this blog. you should update more!
My son, who will be 3 in October, just pointed at the "watermelon" cake and said "LOOK! It's a FROG!" *giggle*
OH. MY. GOD.
And I guess it never occurred to these geniuses to make the red slash go horizontally like a mouth, rather than slapping it down right between the "legs"?
HAHAHAHA No the red part looks like Kermit has a Vagigi ahahahha Disgusting. This is like a bad Digitalfuntown.com joke . . . Hilarious.
http://www.digitalfuntown.com/showpage.php?showid=5
Thanks so much for your blog. You actually made me laugh out loud this morning. I'm featuring your blog on my Squidoo birthday cake lens at:
http://www.squidoo.com/birthday-cake
Keep up the great work!! -
Oh! Lord have mercy.
Can we just be glad that there isn't a wee marzipan baby being squeezed out?
Wow, I didn't realize that Kermit had one of those... It- uh..
I'm going to have to see a therapist now, to reevaluate my formative years watching Sesame Street and to rid my mind of the images of angry black specks peering at me from a puppet frog's vagina.
This blog will definitely curb my sweet tooth if there are more like this one. Do these cake decorators have any brain cells?
Gail
I've heard of watermelons being used as... er, sex toys for boys. Which brings a new dimension to the question, "Who was this intended for?" Especially with the addition of eyes, arms, and legs.
Too, too funny! I wonder if Kermit here and the "cold sore" cake are related. A sort of before and after, maybe?
You call this cake a "He"? Man, it's quite obviously a woman. With black spots in her... fruit meat...
The apocalypse will begin in 3, 2, 1...
oooh tooo funny!! I am still laughing !! A flash of that image will come into my head and I will be fent into fits of laughter. Such a fun blog. yippee!!!!
goatse cake!
whoa! After seeing the first cake I have to say...
why would they move the gash lower???!!!!!
I'm seriously starting to worry about the world....
Ok that's it...I have officially lost it. This cake has sent me over the edge...and there is no recovering from this.
While I came to work with good intentions I found your blog and began to read. Silly really, how dare I waste company time and money to read another's blog. But hell it's my break time.
I got to this cake and fully understood the reason for waterproof mascara. My boss has gotten up from his desk to find out what the whimpering sound is. Unfortunately it's me trying to surpress my laughter. Yes, since I had tears running down my cheeks I shamelessly let him think I was crying. He meekly walked out telling me to take whatever time I needed.
Thank you for making me laugh. I have shared your blog with many others on another bulletin board. I have encouraged them to all go to a local bakery and order a cake. We are deciding on what it should say. The results should be entertaining to say the least. :)
I am literally crying with laughter while trying to be silent incase my family hear me and think I'm laughing at nothing. THANK YOU for making this site. It's really made my day.
My 4-year-old daughter saw this cake and the other one and said "Is that a watermelon cake? A frog watermelon cake?" So.. at least kids first see the watermelon.
Well, it's certainly better than the evil vortex vagina cake that it previously was! But, do they really need watermelon cakes? Why not one that looks like a slice of watermelon?
eeewwww...i'm an o.b. nurse and that looks frightfully familiar!
Does appear Kermit had a sex change surgery gone very wrong. Poor Kermie.
Hi, I just found out about your blog and I love it! I wondered if you had a picture of the above cake and sure enough, a Google site search revealed this post, sans back story! A friend of mine showed this to me and the story is way better than the cake itself. So here is the original letter that was included with the photo, taken from Rick Emerson's blog (he's a radio show host in Portland, OR).
Rick,
I was shopping at Fred Meyer last night when I was startled by this vagina cake.
The cake is a watermelon with a slice out of it and all of them except one have big plastic ants on them. This one has eyes, arms and legs and a vagina?? I am a gay man that has never personally seen a vagina and now have a very distorted picture of what a vagina looks like. Do they all have seeds?? My partner thought it looked similar since they raised the frosting around the edge.
Also, I felt like a pervert when I was taking the picture and a lady and her kids were watching me. Or was it the fact that I let her know that, "the cake didn't do anything for me, I just think it's funny." If I go back and buy it I'm definitely going through the uscan.
Thanks, Startled gay in NOPO.
lolololol...Kermi had a sex change and is officially 'OUT'!!! lolol Funny funny. What the hell happened?! xx