These are those Wrecks.
Harsh reality, sweet messenger.
Submitter Dan titled it best: "Cake for a Cheerful Nihilist".
Looking on the bright side?
Hey, this one seems familiar...
Feelin' the love.
As a Wrecktacular bonus, go back and read all the cakes in order. Freaky, eh? It's like those ransom notes made from newspaper clippings, only using cakes. Now what's crazier: the fact that these cakes exist, or that I have enough submissions to piece together almost-sentences? :)
Today's Wrecks brought to you by Amber J., Dan B., Kristen P., and James S.
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81 comments | Post a Comment
Bad news: delivered on cake! It's an idea whos time has come.
heeheehee!!!
Geesh, harsh cakes. I'd probably slap someone if I got one of them.
This post = best birthday cake ever! I'm so glad my loving co-workers did not see this post before helping me celebrate Thursday.
and the same confetti on three of the cakes, too. Yikes. I'd be afraid to eat them...but, then I cry easily.
This was hilarious! I just came across your blog yesterday through another I read, and I immediately put a link to you on my blog. (Hope you don't mind!) Thanks for the giggles!
Love it!
Funny!
Scary...
Funny!
Yes, mostly just funny. Love how it all goes together.
O
M
G
I can't believe the gross cakes you keep finding.
Yow!
I could use at least three, if not five of that last cake. I've got three interlopers right now, and the way things are going, I might need two extra for my actual 18 yo kids.
Wow, I can't believe anyone would want to have such cakes made! Some of these are just downright mean!
Also, I guess it wasn't just a cold sore after all :P
OK, so they were a bit mean, but look at the bright side. They were all spelled correctly and there were no random quotation marks. Bonus points for that!
Is it just me, or is that first cake sitting on someone's butt???
Funny to read them in order. Cant believe someone seriously put the word HERPES on a cake. Not sure I would eat it.
Sadly, my first thought was to be impressed that someone got the apostrophe correct in "At least you're pretty"
Is the Nobody Loves You cake located on top of someone's butt?
I love your blog by the way.
Hilarious! I can always count on you for a GREAT laugh!!!
Sorry, that's just not a sentence or even almost a sentence. Those are random phrases joined together. (and I'll keep the last part clean)
"Nobody loves you it just doesn't matter At least you're pretty Sorry about your Herpes Get the Tarnation out . . . No seriously!"
Thankfully, those cakes still fit the blog, though. They are, indeed, wrecks.
This is hilarious. Sadly, hysterically hilarious.
Kinda makes you wonder what the decorator who pulled that order thought.
PS: Love this blog like crazy! Been reading for a couple weeks now and I can't get enough of it!
"It Just Doesn't Matter". Now I have the chant from "Meatballs" (summer camp movie with Bill Murray) stuck in my head!
I'm speechless. I just wish those people were too!
I liked the "Nobody Likes You" cake. Having it on a cake really gives the message a bright side.
Hahaha. I actually read the cake message from the bottom up to the top, and that creates a lovely little message as well. Quite creepy! LOL
I really think that first cake looks like it is on someone's butt. that *is* some crack there, above the shredded denim. Yow.
I, for one, see more than just random phrases. I see not just almost-sentences, but a little story, of sorts.
"Nobody loves you, [but] it just doesn't matter, [and] at least you're pretty -- [still], sorry about your herpes... now get the *** out -- no, seriously!"
Isn't this what you say if you're a depressed woman who feels unattractive and has given up on love, and you're tired of hearing your girlfriend complain about her problems? You tell her: "Yeah, nobody loves you. So what? It just doesn't matter; 'love' is garbage anyway. At least you're pretty, so you can still get men. Sorry about your herpes, though, that'll slow down the sex life a bit... now get the *** out because I can't take any more of your whining. No, seriously. Hey, I've got my own problems and I can't deal with any more of yours. Now get out."
Wow, that came out even more nasty and depressing than I thought it would -- certainly more depressing than I'd think up on my own (I'm more a fluffy romance kind of girl). And of course, that effect is exactly what's so wrecktastic about this series of cakes.
Why is that first cake resting on someone's bum?
So here's my theory:
That second cake isn't actually what the customer ordered. It's another case of foolish icing people misreading the order form or foolish order-form people misinterpreting the phone call, which went as follows.
Customer: "I love rainbows. Please make sure it has a huge, cheesy-looking rainbow on it, and make sure that rainbow ends in purple flowers, because that's what I get in my Lucky Charms, not pots o' gold or nuthin'."
Order person: "Mmmmkay, got it. Rainbows, roses, blah blah blah. What else would you like on it?"
Customer: "Oh, it just doesn't matter. I'm really a big fan of rainbows, you see, and...."
If someone was going to tell me something that mean, I'd like for it to be on a cake. At least I could then drown my sorrows in icing. Very funny.
And the first cake isn't on someone's but, it's on her lap in the passenger seat of a car. Note cup in cup holder, etc.
I think the rainbow "it just doesn't matter" selection is a coming-out cake from an accepting giver. I only got a feather boa for my coming-out and now feel a bit ripped off. :-)
I think it's possible that these were purchased as blank decorated cakes and the messages were done at home. I doubt my local bakery would do these.
Not a butt, the first cake is on someone's legs. They are wearing a jean skirt. You can tell because the girl is sitting in a car (see the gear shift to the left). Of course it's more funny to think of it as a butt, so go ahead. ;)
talk about being honest! At least you can scrap off the cream...
OK, evidently I am the only one who didn't see the "it just doesn't matter" cake as a non-wreck. Maybe I'm wrong, but with the rainbow at the top, I took the cake as a response to someone having announced they were gay. I thought it was great.
Left you an award on my blog
The "Nobody Loves You" cake is sitting in someone's lap. Those are legs, not a butt.
...But it's still really hysterical. I'm pretty sure these cakes were jokes...I mean, it'd be terrible if they were serious. Though, admittedly, a friend of my sister's was broken up with via cookies one time.
I, personally, think these cakes are hilarious. I have a pretty sarcastic sense of humor and LOVE the irony of a non-loving statement on a medium usually used to convey a cheesy message of love or happiness. I would laugh my butt off if I got any of these. I also tend to think that most of these statements are the products of some kind of "inside joke". I agree with the rainbow = coming out theory, and the "Get the **** out..." could be for a graduate from his/her parents. I would think it's funny.
Maybe I'm the only one who has a group of friends with an odd sense of humor, but I could totally see all of these cakes at one of our parties! Then again, I hang out with people who wear t-shirts that say "I like cake" and "Your favorite band sucks".
:-) Thanks for making me laugh!!
I'm going to have to remember some of these for the Just b/c occasions. Niiice.
Because cake makes EVERYTHING better.....
OMG! These are halarious! What a pick me up for my day! I'm laughing out loud! Thanks!
At least you're pretty... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I so deeply wish I'd taken a picture of the "Burn in Hell Ernie" cake that someone made for a friend of mine.
Cakes-the new break-up/dumping text message!
Very funny.
Even Hallmark doesn't have cards for these "occasions".
the animal cakes are really nice
I am so happy that I found your blog! So funny!
They're all so pretty and delicious and heartbreaking.
I appreciate the no profanity thing, but could you take a look at "sandra's" pic. Not very attractive if you know what I mean.
@ Nykie - thanks for the heads up. I don't see profile pics when moderating comments, so I had no idea.
@ Sandra, if you'd like to keep posting comments here, could you please change your profile pic? Thanks!
hah! these are awesome...
After having read this the other day, when I saw this comic today (8/27/08) I busted up laughing even harder. Thanks!
http://channelate.com/
My daughter is planning to have a "Nobody Loves You" cake made for her boyfriend to celebrate his first week at his new job. She's positive he will have no problem whatsoever eating it.
She's just twisted like that. She thought that cake was brilliant.
That IS a butt!
lol I love the "at least you're pretty" cake.. cracks me up!
I totally loved all the cakes!!!!
Pam
http://ozarklivinandlaughin.blogspot.com
Get the ____ out...
finger
chicken
lead
heck
"rooster"
mountain dew
car
appendix
This was great!!
I'm officially putting Cake Wrecks on my list of art blogs. Why not link to cakelava instead, you ask (which of course you would never)? Well - Cake Wrecks has something more conceptually arty to offer. Don't you think?
This particular entry made me fall off my chair. My husband and his pals once made a "Happy Birthday [expletive deleted]" cake for their 'friend.' I thought he and his buddies were alone in this idiocy! Nice to know he's normal, actually.
Oh
SNAP...
Those are some of the harshest sayings put on cake I ever seen...
This is actually brilliant... I'm putting you on my blogroll.
This post is awesome, and you're so right about reading them backwards!
Haha!! Nobody loves you was my favorite. Hopefully these were meant as jokes, though. =0)
hahahahahhaha (wipes tears)
no real tears.
people are cruel!
but those DO look delicious. . .
Unfortunately my wife didn't get a picture of it, but when she left her previous job, her boss bought her a cake that had "Good Riddence" on it.
I like the black icing on the first one. It seems so dramatic.
Cake for a cheerful nihilist...I LOVE IT!!! I almost fell off my chair laughing. I want one to take to work.
Hahahahahaahah these are brilliant I actually want a cake like this for my next birthday
My God...
it hurts.
wipe tears
read again
I'm one of the people who orders these cakes... I might have some pictures to send in.
The thing is, I don't think I'd even be that upset if I got a cake like this.
I'd be laughing too hard.
If the "Nobody Loves You" cake isn't mine, it's a big coincidence. The cake was bought at least five years ago, and I'm dying to know where you got the picture! I cried laughing when I saw it here, as I'd completely forgotten about it.
I bought it blank at a grocery store and wrote the message on the way back to work.
"Nobody loves you" is a running joke with my friends. It was for a friend's last day at work, and I wrote that on there because he was whining that we weren't planning a going away party for him. It was well received, and it was a big boost to my day to see it again.
The "cake for a cheerful nihilist" reminds me a lot of this xkcd strip:
http://xkcd.com/167/
I would love to get that strip on a cake. (Or a shirt.)
When I worked at Friendly's (ice cream store in the Northeast) we had ice cream cakes for sale that our managers could decorate.
Some local college girls came in to get their friend a birthday cake. At first they wanted the message "Happy Birthday [girl's name]" written on it. They changed their mind suddenly and my manager had to write "Happy Birthday Slut Puppy" on the cake instead.
I asked her later if there were any corportate guidelines for acceptable cake decorations (there were not). She then commented, after taking a healthy drag off her cigarette, "I won't put F*** on a cake". That settled that.
If I don't get into grad school, I'm going to commission my husband to get me an "at least you're still pretty" cake. I will eat it in my bathrobe with a side of undiluted rum.
This blog is amazing, way to make a totally random topic interesting to non-bakers like me!
I cried laughing at the 'nobody loves you' cake! It's FANTASTIC!!!
That's not a butt people, it's a girl wearing a jean skirt and those are her two legs.
Ahhhhh... The "At Least You're Pretty" Cake was for one of my roommates in college - I think someone stole that picture of her facebook, it was her profile pick for awhile about 3-4 yrs ago.. It was a joke between all my friends to say "At least you're pretty" to one another when someone was going wrong in our lives.. wasn't meant to be mean ever. :)
O.K. WHAT?!?!?!?
Funny as always, thanx!
OMG. halarious! Ive done nothing today except laugh. Thanks! xx