Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Let's Wrap It Up

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Friends, acquaintances, decorators.

There is a new bakery trend arising. One that's making me SICK. And also kind of excited. Mostly sick. But sort of excited.

The trend?

Sticking wrapped candy on finished cakes.

Now, the excitement comes into play because, hello! Candy is awesome. So putting candy on cake sounds like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow.

The disgust, however, comes from the fact that the candy is wrapped. And on a cake. Or in some cases:

IN a cake.

And digging through icing with your fingers just to unwrap a piece of chocolate that is covered in chocolate and then smooshed into chocolate sounds about as appealing as... ooh, look!
Chocolate!

In a sweet, oozy green metallic coating!

Apparently, the more candy and flotsam you shove on top, the more "fancy" the "brownies" become.

Assuming there are actually brownies in there somewhere.


Or, if chocolate-covered chocolate in your chocolate is too much chocolate for you, there's always the paper-wrapped sugar sticks in your sprinkle-covered sugar cake approach:

Suckers.


So, when all else fails, and a regular ol' normal-people cake just won't cut it, go ahead and jam any and everything you can find into a plastic container:

Because America, that's why.


Thanks to today's Wreckporter wrappers Thomas P., Martha, Jo N., Sarah D., Kendra, and Matt P., who will now go forth and fetch me a Twix. No? Anyone?
Ellen said...

Well, that just about wraps it up.

Mmmmmmm . . . .paper.

Anonymous said...

Ewww.... germs.

Still, impressed by the wreckerators' ceaseless, yet ironic, toil to reach ever higher heights of laziness in "decorating."

--kate

bassgirl said...

Besides the trouble of having to dig out the candy and unwrap it, it just seems so unsanitary. Why knows WHERE those candy wrappers have been? Dropped on the floor of the candy factory, brushed off, and then placed on your cake? No thanks!

wv: doccis Doccis disgusting!

Julia said...

So, it's like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow, is my new favorite descriptive term. It's an instant classic!

Anonymous said...

Eww, gross. Wonder how the candy is stored before it's final destination on top of your cake?

elissa said...

Dum dums.

CakeLadyRachel said...

I suspect that the wrapped candy indicates the flavor of the cake itself. They left the wrapper on so the customer would recognize the candy. Not a design that I would go for though...

Danger Boy said...

I wonder if this got started when somebody dropped their snack in a cake and sold it anyway?

wv: cocabuse Cocabuse is the #1 cause of cake wrecking. Boozabuse is #2.

Anonymous said...

My first thought was to wonder what germs & dirt are on the candy wrappers, and I'm not one to panic about the odd microbe (whatever does not kill me makes me stranger). Eeew, ick.

elissa said...

I have an uncle who is of Japanese descent (he's actually Canadian, I think). When we'd visit their house when I was a kid, they'd give us these Japanese hard candies that were wrapped in some kind of rice paper. The candies were very sticky, but the paper was edible, so we'd just eat the wrapper and the candy together. Maybe something like that would be a better choice here...

I don't recall what the candy tasted like. I don't think it was particularly yummy. But the wrapper was a novelty, so we ate it.

M said...

Just eat the wrapper. Duh.

Donna M. said...

All that sugar, it'll rot your teeth!

(had to recharge my iMom for a couple days)

rebekah said...

wow! that is SO unsanitary!! i am suprised the health dept lets them do that....GROSS!!!!!

rebekah said...

umm that is so unsanitary! you would think bakeries would have some sort of knowledge of food safety! all the dirt and germs and who knows what else is now all over your "lovely" cake! GROSS!!
btw...that last one was hilarious! i love the idea of just stuffing cupcakes and candy in a plastic container and selling it! HA!

Anonymous said...

Um, ew! And wtf is that last cake supposed to be anyways? Besides scary and unappetizing, I mean...

Lozzz123 said...

to be fair, the candy inside the wrapper (assuming it's not a few years old) is probably the most well made part of those cakes :P

Anonymous said...

ok...for all those who are concerned about the sanitary aspect - do you really think the people who create all of these wrecks are wearing hair nets and gloves? If they can't figure out the correct spelling, etc. do you think they're thinking about sanitation?

Ask the Cool Cookie said...

We are offended by this new trend. What is next? Baking articles of clothing into a cake for a surprise inside?

And do these people have any idea where that wrapped candy has been and who has fondled it?

Ana V. said...

the last ... thingy ... What?! I can't even- *headdesk*

Judy C said...

If I wanted a candy bar I'd get one. Can't see the point of putting one on a cake.

Jen said...

What is that last one supposed to be?? It really is just a bunch of crap jammed into a plastic container.

KSLSRocks said...

I love that one of the candies on the fancy brownies is even placed upside down. The bakery couldn't take the time to make sure the writing was placed right side up.

@elisse - My grandmother is Japanese; there is one candy we grew up eating and love. Botan Rice Candy had an edible wrapper (inside an inedible wrapper - fun with younger cousins ensued). I still eat it because I still love it - tastes kinda citrus-ey, fruity. Plus it came with a sticker in the box; candy and a sticker?! Heck yes!! They do a temporary tattoo instead of the sticker now.

John Dash said...

"Because America, that's why!" is gonna be my slogan from here to infinity.

jo said...

"mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow." Aw. sounds like a dream!

hey, paper adds fiber. "that's nutrition! chocolate cake (with wrapped candy) coming up!" (Bill Cosby's cake-for-breakfast logic)

meanwhile, the peanut chews are placed UPSIDE DOWN. with clown flotsam. yikes. does that count for people allergic to nuts if the candy is wrapped and not actually touching the cake directly?

nice random lollipop placement.

that last one looks like party leftovers shoved in the only available box. there's cupcakes squashed in there! with neon yellow icing...YUCK

Nice Caesar reference!

Mary Connealy said...

I blame most of the cake typo nonsense on cake decorators who speak English as a second language. But I don't see how this fits my theory.

Christy said...

This just tortures my inner germaphobe.

Anonymous said...

O_o Who on earth thought this was a good thing??

Anonymous said...

Ask the Cool Cookie - you are so on to something. How about edible panties! Could be just the thing for those German cakes.

Sharyn said...

That last cake looks like a giant germ culture went trick-or-treating. Even the "Laffy Taffy" seems depressed.

Donna said...

How appropriate that the second cake says it's a "Candy Bar Cake."

Is that like a King Cake at Mardi Gras where the winner is the one who finds the "prize" in the cake???

Momcat said...

I see those at my local mart all the time - well, not that last one. Supposed to warn you about what flavor the cake is. Maybe it would be better if it specified what disease you're going to get from it.

wv:unoccl I hope I've been unoccl-ated against cake virus.

elissa said...

KSLSRocks: It's probably the same stuff. These had inedible wrappers on the outside, too.

In other news: I find the idea of "angel giggles" weirdly unsettling. Like they're talking about me behind my back, or something.

No Cake Fo' You!!! said...

Is it me or is that just totally unsanitary... I don't get it... *scratching my head* and that last cake, c'mon... they really think someone is gonna buy it. What the What?????

K8 said...

I can't even remember what I was going to write...I started gagging when I saw how gross the rack is that the last "cake" is on.

wv: imitati
Duplicati, never imitati

Shawn D said...

I feel like it should say "Fancy" brownies.

mel said...

And...tomorrow...candy with little pieces of cake stuck to the top!

wv - explep: a former plep

Teabunny said...

Mmmm... Twix. Yummy. (not being sarcastic)

To all the people who are freaking out about the germs on the wrappers: the candy is sealed in foil or paper and is obviously the cleanest part of the cake. So just eat the candy; to hell with the cake. (Am I allowed to say that on this site?)

Another one who remembers the edible rice paper. Led to some confusion with other candies but I learned quick.

Calliope said...

oh my lands!
I mean, in a way these are sort of like movie theatre snack King Cakes - but instead of celebrating Mardi Gras and plastic babies I guess we are celebrating um...oh goodness. it's just wrong!!

Anonymous said...

I looove the line "Because America, that's why!" I am sooo stealing that.

I was shaking my head as I scrolled down through the post. Then I got to that last one...."Dear God! What is that thing!?!"

It looks like it will leap out at you when you open it. Like those "snakes" in a can things....*shudder*

strategic Capital Corporation said...

oohhh yummy cake

Angelina Krell said...

This germaphob is not feeling so well right now. ~:o{

Gayle Carline said...

Gah. I shouldn't have read this before breakfast.

Anonymous said...

Yeah...it is pretty gross because the candy wrapper is NOT sanitized and it was placed with greasy, icing caked hands.

Anonymous said...

Picture #4- You had me at candy bars and brownies.

You lost me at clowns !!

Anonymous said...

It can't be all *that* unsanitary. Unappetizing, sure. Unsanitary? Nah. How many of you open a candy bar, then wash your hands (since you just touched the wrapper), then eat the candy? None. You just unwrap and scarf!

Crafty Neighbor said...

Ewwwww....You *know* they didn't wash those candy packages off before they stuck them on those cakes. How many times have they been handled, by whome, and do you really think they washed their hands?

zoomom said...

Just when I thought it was safe to have a drink of water... I mean, I finished reading the post, I was just reading the comments, and then Elissa says that "angel giggles" makes her feel like they're talking about her behind her back, and I laugh-snort water out my nose.

TisforTonya said...

that last one is going to have me scratching my head all day... and maybe craving a little hodge podge of sugar and paper.

Karen said...

I'm one of those people who eats the little dots that come on the paper, and still, I would not buy any of these cakes. Ew.

Anonymous said...

I can definitely understand the confusion/repulsion of having wrapped candy on a cake, but how many of you would want the wreckorator to unwrap it first??? that's even more ick...so let's just skip the candy. (unless it's baked into it, of course. then YUM!!)

Merges said...

Come on, the brownies were titled "fancy brownies," what part of fancy didn't you get?!?

vanessa said...

This is an abomination. Paper. In cake. Only babies should go in or on a cake.

Kimberly Chapman said...

Not grossed out because of potential germs on candy wrappers, since in my whole life I don't think I've unwrapped a candy, carefully tipped it onto a sterile plate, gone to wash my hands, and then come back to eat it (which would be the only way to avoid germs on the wrapper when eating candy normally).

TOTALLY grossed out at the oversugarification of these confections. Plus what's the point of buying a fresh bakery item if it's got a not-fresh sealed chunk'o'sugar on it?

And too often, different kinds of chocolate can conflict unless they're balanced properly. This is pure lazy gluttony, and it's icky.

Mags said...

That sugar stix cake just needs the text: I WANT SPRINKLES!!!

Anonymous said...

a friend of mine accidentally ate gum with the wrapper on it today....

Jennifer said...

I used to be a grocery store cake decorator...when we first started doing candy bar cakes, my manager would not let me unwrap the candy bars because it was a "legal issue" or a "health issue"...sounded ridiculous to me, but we ended up going to training and they told us to unwrap them finally!

Ziggyeor said...

Wow now where were those cakes for my B-day this past weekend? I had a Halloween themed B-day and had to buy a bag of candy separate from the cake. I could have one stop shopped this way! :p

Anonymous said...

If I wanted candy on (or in) my cake, I'd bake a big huge one and have a "Sven the Pool Boy" type jump out. Eye candy, and...well, nevermind. ;)

dankim23 said...

For all those commenting about the unsanitary wrappers...You ever have a cake or something with those plastic clowns, etc? Yea, I bet those are probably much more germified than any of those candy wrappers! How long were they sitting in a container. Did they get dusty? How many people picked them up and then put them back in that container? Yea, the candy bar wrappers don't get me as sick as the thought of plastics on a cake that have been only heaven knows where!

Anonymous said...

is that last one like the baker's leftovers version of a pinata? stuffed it all in a box and smack the crap out of it later?

wv: cancer. (srsly!) Eating neon yellow icing and germy candy wrapper paper will give you cancer!

Marsha said...

I don't know why but this is the most stomach-churning post I've seen on this site. Maybe it is, as so many have pointed out, so unsanitary. Who ARE the people that come up with these ideas?
I'm depending on angel giggles and rainbow hugs to get me past this trauma...

mizdarlin said...

Wendi-
Wow, America sure is weird..and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, I never have seen anything even mildly Wrecky here in Canada..it doesn't mean it ain't happening, but not that i've seen..
I'm thoroughly confused by this "trend" of putting wrapped candy on a cake..probably for "sanitary" reasons? Which begs the question...where did that 'dirty" icing come from?

Gina said...

Unsanitary, unsanitary, unsanitary, un.san.i.tary! (just wanted to up the count, LOL) But seriously? That's disgusting!!!

Hawkfeather said...

see now, why THIS post (or that last substance) doesn't get the drunken masses a mergin' to share the mantra -> *USA USA USA*..while other occurrences might..well sir that just shakes the core of my belief system too much...
too much.

by the way- have you seen these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMqoaAznbHc

Car Title Loans said...

I don't know how I feel about having paper with my frosting. Either this is genius or lazy, but either way it just looks bad. Make sure you have plenty of napkins eating this!
Ava

Carrie said...

Yeah, it doesn't bother me on sanitary grounds. It bothers me on laziness grounds. Using candy in a neat cake design? Awesome. Throwing a handful of mini candy bars onto a cake -- not even bothering to unwrap them, much less arrange them -- and calling it good? WHO DOES THAT.

If I wanted to eat a handful of mini candy bars, I would just buy mini candy bars. I guess it gives you something to eat when the cake turns out to taste terrible, though.

HeadChef said...

This is somehow worse than plastic toys or flowers. The wrapper promises something edible...but first you have to spit it out and unwrap it. I may be a purist, but I think that anything on a piece of cake or other food should be edible. Then again, none of this is good for you. Maybe plastic, foil, paper, and germs add some nutritional value.

Anonymous said...

@Sharyn: The Laffy Taffy is crying on the inside.

Paper-wrapped sugar stick on top of your sprinkle-covered sugar cake.... Did I get it right? I had to read it three times before it clicked.

min said...

W
T
F!

(In the right mood, I just might buy that last one, though. It tickles my love of the absurd.)

Craig said...

At first, I thought those were AA cells on that third wreck. I wonder what they charge for that. It's really rather re-volting, though I guess a case can be made that cakes and batter-ies go together.

@Anonymous @ 9:52, "whatever does not kill me makes me stranger" is the sort of comment that plays to a Nietzsche market, is it not?

No, @Donna & @Calliope, everything about King Cakes is *good*. It's *good* that they have a plastic baby inside -- if they don't, that's *good*, too. It's all *good*. Really. [Wipes sweat from brow and glances around nervously to see if ANTHONY is nearby...]

John (hoJ), since there are presently 61 comments (not counting this one) and just an unwashed handful of them that don't reference germs, are you prepared to call a Spaceship Earth? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

Fancy Brownies...Fancy should be in quotations. No doubt, those are "Fancy" Brownies.

Craig said...

After analysis (of the board, not me), I see that just under 50% of the comments reference germs and the absolute number has not yet hit the threshold.

Nonetheless, using the same 'logic' that teevee anchors use to call elections before the polls actually open, I think it safe to say that S.E. status will be reached.

That is all.

Heather D. said...

LOLOLOLOL!!! Because *america*, that's why!!

This is the most logical answer I've had all day. LOVE it.

Now I will rest easy today.

Anonymous said...

Craig: Shall we head to the bunker just in case, then? I'll bring some sterilized jelly beans, individually wrapped.

Andrea

Anna said...

I wish I could "like" my favorite comments on here - curse you Facebook for infiltrating every aspect of American culture!!!

ps- Clown heads with nut bars, seriously?

Anonymous said...

Okay, I have seen cakes with candy added that were very cute and well-done.

One major difference... the candies were UNWRAPPED!

Seriously, the bakers (if you really wanna call them that) can't put stickers on the cake domes specifying EXACTLY the candy put inside the cake?! Would that be so hard?

Micalah said...

Bakers must just be fresh out of ideas :)

Aliza said...

The appearance of the last squashed cake, when I zoomed in, plus all the comments about dirty wrappers got me thinking about microbes, which led to thoughts of e coli and salmonella... which automatically led to: http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/products/salmonella.html and the other plush microbe toys on that site!

While it's a good point that I've never washed my hands after opening a wrapper, it should be noted that I hold the wrapper while downing the treat-- so clean hands don't matter because they never actually touch the candy. Also, if it's a mini bar, then they're kept clean within a larger package. Whereas at the bakery, the bigger package's opened, and who knows how many people are touching the wrapper before it gets smushed into the icing?

I think this trend is just a warning sign to keep away from the cakes. They probably taste as bad as they look anyway...

PS Anonymous@2:03, I like the way you think ;)

Anonymous said...

OK, I'm going insane over this. Where did "Why? Because America, that's why!" come from? This is going to go looping through my head until I have a stroke. Please save me!
Rachael

wv: dessessa - Candy and cake? I think dessessa wonderful idea. :)

drgns4vr said...

@ Craig -- there is something reassuring about a web site that sings the praises of decorated cakes that also inspires philosophical musings by the readership.

WV eoffal--I find the idea of cramming candy (wrapped OR unwrapped) onto cake pretty eoffal.

Donna said...

Craig, I love me some King Cake! I have a whole baby collection from my good fortune of finding the baby numerous times in the cake we have at work. I was just wondering if finding the actual candy bar is LIKE finding the baby...you know, a year of good luck or whatever...

msyendor said...

Why do the giggling angels I hear sound like smurfs? *shudder*

wv: pyloph = Now, what do we do with this pyloph unsold easter candy ...

Nicole said...

there is a sheen to that last cake lid that made me think it was all inside a giant clear molded jello awesome and petrifying at the same time

Anonymous said...

That plastic container filled with radioactive looking yellow, pink and orange stuff is hilarious! Who the H - E - double matchsticks would buy that?

tiny purple elephant said...

Anonymous said...
ok...for all those who are concerned about the sanitary aspect - do you really think the people who create all of these wrecks are wearing hair nets and gloves? If they can't figure out the correct spelling, etc. do you think they're thinking about sanitation?
_____________________
This is why I NEVER eat fondant.

Heidi D said...

Because America. HA HA HA! ****-YA!

Eat Cake said...

Evidently we are going about this decorating & bakery business all wrong. Thanks for giving us the heads up, I am off to buy some candy to throw on top of our cakes right now.

Cindy said...

Wow, that is kind of gross. I mean candy wrappers probably have who knows what kind of dust and contamination from being processed not to mention that the candy does not add that much appeal. Why not make a cake that looks like a candy bar instead of putting a wrapped candy bar on the cake.

Scared Of Clowns said...

The candy bars on the fancy brownies are obviously to hide the poo swirls the clown heads are on!

pikkewyntjie said...

The song from Team America World Police comes to mind. You know the one.

Kati said...

Oh my goodness. I chuckled through the first few cakes, but then I saw the fancy brownies and I guffawed out loud. And what on earth was that last one? Was that a mass of wrapped stuff on a pumpkin pie?

Funny as usual!

Anonymous said...

angel giggles and rainbow hugs?? GAG
I'll take germ encrusted candy wrappers in poo piles any day.

Of course, I'm in a pretty bad mood today...

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

Sad...just sad. Do people actually buy this stuff?

Julie

Anonymous said...

P.S.
No, I don't think the cakes are normally made in sterile environs. It's just gross, though.

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

P.P.S.
I don't eat fondant on cakes because it tastes nasty. YEA, FROSTING!!
However, considering how much it's manhandled I wouldn't eat it even if it was tasty.

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

(psst, Craig, did I help up the "unsanitary" comments closer to party-in-the-bunker-time? I'm bringing Twix and milk!)

-Barbara Anne

Adorably Dead said...

Loved the ending to it. America! Hell, yeah!

Arlene said...

That last cake looks like it has muffins squished with pink snowballs on it lol. Amongst all the other whatevers that are on there. Sheesh. Wonder if there is actually a cake under all of that or just boxes inside of more cake shaped boxes to drive the customer nuts. I wouldn't put it past the wreckerator lol.

Craig said...

@Barbara Anne: Sorry to hear about your bad day, but thanks for adding to the count.

38 of 96 as of this posting. A tad shy of S.E., but well within the definition of EPCOT as per John (hoJ).

This one is kind of tame (apart from the Howard Hughes / germophobe angle) -- at least they're not piling on our Fearless Leaders about some minor factual error (real or imagined).

That said, I'll bring the Lysol and the hand sanitizer, because America. And a supply of noms, of course -- prepared and packaged in Antarctica under an ultraviolet light by people in full isolation gear who don't even think dirty thoughts.

While I'm at it, I'll install one of those blowers over the bunker door -- the kind that are ostensibly meant to keep flies out of stores, but which I suspect are really intended to provide cheap laughs for employees every time someone's hair gets destroyed.

BTW, I think the last one is one of Sandra Lee's 'tablescapes' in kit form. Or maybe a trip to the ER in kit form. (No, that's redundant.)

Johanna said...

I too don't agree much with the idea of mixing wrapped candies in finished baked cakes.That's not healthy! Just imagine how it would be when someone while relishing the creamy cake comes across a warped candy in the cake? Not a good idea man whoever invented it!
The Cake Personality Test
Which cake are you like?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/cake-personality/cake-personality_instructions.asp

jo said...

I've seen that done on donuts as well...pretty lazy

normae said...

normae
yuck! not appetizing or pretty except to a 5 yr old. makes my marshmallow fllowers elegant in comparison LOL

WeeTaitCakes said...

Seriously can't believe that this is becoming a craze! It's kind of weird, but understandable at the same time. Hardly cake 'decorating' though. Plus, we agree with bassgirl - those wrappers could have been anywhere!!

Britt said...

Neat designs I like how people are able to decorate cakes that way!

Kati said...

That last one looks like a CakeWrecks Katamari.

Spike Page said...

I'm inclined to agree with CaKeLadyRachel on this one. The Almond Joy on the first cake is quite likely there as a less-subtle-than-the-bakery's-label indicator that the cake will contain coconut and almonds as well. I suppose it could've been incorporated more imaginatively into the design, but at least it's not smashed into the icing and is more-or-less centered and serving its purpose.

That second cake...um...the wreckorator didn't want the candy to fall off?

But that third one has me intrigued. The design is pretty bad, but the possibility that the cake itself might contain even MORE Andes Candies love has me feeling a bit giddy.

Next week, I play iron-chef-Andes.

Lorilyn Tenney aka: **Tinkerbell** said...

@Craig "BTW, I think the last one is one of Sandra Lee's 'tablescapes' in kit form."

My first ever comment and it's all because of that line. Thanks for the biggest laugh all day! :)

I'm a head baker, I do cakes and I'm sort of a germaphobe when it comes to food prep. My first thought in regards to the candy was, "I wonder how many kiddies fondled those lollies in the bulk bin before they made it to the cake?!"
Wrapped candy (or unwrapped mass-produced candy, for that matter) would never show up on one of my cakes. It just looks like plain (or peanut) tackiness.
And just for the record, I do wear my hair back, wash my hands constantly and scrap anything that hits the floor. ;)
*Tink

Anonymous said...

"prepared and packaged in Antarctica under an ultraviolet light by people in full isolation gear who don't even think dirty thoughts."

I laughed so hard I snorted and scared the dog! (WIN)

-Barbara Anne

jaimestrange said...

This marks the first time in the history of Cake Wrecks that I got to see a pic of a cake before it was "removed at the request of the baker." Hooray!

Gracie said...

Bahahaha! I can only think of the episode of "The Simpsons" in which Homer is attempting to take regular-sized candy packages and affix them to the top of his Qwik-E-Mart donut to try and pass them off as "sprinkles." Heehee.