Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Giving Wrecks a Bad Name

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Parents, if you don't want to risk bruised feelings on their birthdays, I suggest you NOT name any of your children "Cubby":



Or "Angus":

("Why, I declare, I didn't know it was the Colonel's birthday!")



Or "Ritchie":



And don't even *think* about "Bobby":

(Got milk?)


Or, heaven forbid, "Trudi":



And while you're at it, you'd better avoid pet names like "honey bunny," too:



In fact, maybe you should just leave names off your cakes all together. That way, nothing can go wrong.

I rest my case.



Thanks to wreckporters Laura R., Lacey C., Trisha A., Brian C., Kirsten H., Kelly N., & Erica for the name-calling.
SuBee said...

As an atheist, I have requested that the last cake be served at my funeral.

ninja dude 12 said...

From now on before I shoot someone (in video games of course ) I will say good by bitchie go to the worm infested nothingnes of the 7th cake !

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha. Such nice penmanship and flowers on some of those too.

WV: ingsted
All happily ingsted those wreckified cakes. Looks bad, but tastes good (hopefully).

cc

Donna said...

They asked for "nothing" and obviously received it in abundance! Great customer service!

wv:vangiona - lady parts

Anonymous said...

@ donna - yeah for the rocky horror reference!

WV: homigh: OMG phonetically with an accent

Christina Wilsdon said...

Actually, I think Angus got lucky with Ingus...I was quite sure they were going to leave the G out of that name....

Anonymous said...

Ha! Good SNL reference... one of my favorite Christopher Walken skits :)

Anonymous said...

Looks like a couple of good ol' fashioned Freudian slips... I wonder what the Wreckerators for the "Chubby" and "Booby" cakes were thinking about...

Anonymous said...

Given the plops of poop-like frosting on Turdi's cake, not to mention what could be fecal spray on the left of the cake, well, maybe this really is for Turdi.....

wv-arsta: a cake decorator who specializes in this type of decoration

The Empress Nina said...

I was never so embarassed in my LIFE than the time we went to the Red Lobster in Atlanta, GA when I was a teenager. My maiden name is "FUSCO". Please to not the relative positions of the "S" and the "C". When our name hadn't been called after 45 minutes of waiting and some extremely uncomfortable stares by the hostesses, I was the one relegated to the task of finding out just what the wait was all about. Can you guess why they didn't call our name over the loudspeaker? Anyone? Bueller?
Because they had written it down FU*C*S*O. And they were afraid to try and pronounce it.

I'm so glad my last name is Suluh. Because that's a HARD one to screw up. Unless you're a travel agent in the post 9/11 world and you enter it as "Sul*A*h". Which is why I tell people "Like the dude on Star Trek. SULU. SOO LOO".

Signed,
The girl who is suck a Trek Geek that she married Suluh.

wv: adamm

Mispronouncing and misspelling my last names has been adamm problem my whole life.

Lidi Di said...

The booby cake... is that cupcake...on a cake?

No Cake Fo' You!!! said...

Tee Hee Happy Birthday Chubby.... NICE!!!!

WV: sleuts, the heavier version of a slut *shrugs shoulders*

Erin Kelly said...

LMAO - One of the greatest SNL skits of all time :) Like someone else said - changing the 'a' to 'i' is MUCH better than forgetting the 'g'!

Sara T Petersen said...

My parents, in an excess of giddiness at their first child AND having watched far too many Flintstones cartoons, used to call me "Grand Royal Purple Pooh-Bah". However, for most of my life, they shortened that to "Pooh-Bah", "Pooh-Bear" (getting their cartoons mixed up), or just "Pooh". Even as a grown woman, I STILL answer to this. I shudder to think what these people would do with such a nickname.

Momcat said...

Colonel Ingus!?! Love it, glad I had finished my coffee for the morning!

wv: ringie...my ears are a little ringie after all that turdi icing

Anonymous said...

Ahehehe good god some people are dumb

elissa said...

Macgyver's first name is Angus. Does that outweigh the risks and general non-coolness of the name? 'Cause I think it might...

tiny p. elephant said...

The flowers are so and writing are well done. Someone is very talented.

Adorably Dead said...

Nothing still gets me. :p

Sticker Printing said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmm...seems like birthday cakes with a loads of chocolate and crunch.

Anonymous said...

Ritchie's cake scares me. :-S

*whispering* with all those squiggly lines and shaky writing, it looks a little crazy. And the way it's saying "Good Bye", it's just creepy....

Andrea

mizdarlin said...

Not that Turdl isn't a fabulous wrekkie, but it is just possibly a misspelling of the name Trudl, a rather Germanic version of N. American "Trudy"....or not...

PattyMadeIt said...

Make me laugh! omg ... too funny!
Got milk??? hahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Please someone tell me what WV: (random misspelled word) refers to! Please and spanks you! :-)

Blessed Rain said...

Loved how the "Turdi" cake has the little balls of poo on it!
I mean WOW it really got the "point" across!

Connie Moreno said...

That was pretty damn funny!!!

Anonymous said...

@ ninja dude - very appropriate and funny.

I'm starting to wonder if these cakes aren't being made intentionally. If not, I apologize to bitchie and booby if I hurt their feelings.

:)

Cate said...

Hahaha!! Colonel Angus - One of the greatest SNL skits of all time! 10 points for Jen!

Anonymous said...

My cat's name was Cubby... I guess this is why kitties don't celebrate with cake.


wv: peadis- man parts!

Anonymous said...

@ mizdarlin - I thought the point was that someone had misspelled "Trudi" with most unfortunate (except for us Wreck lovers) consequences . . .

And speaking of that cake, your warnings are a little too late: my brand new neice has been saddled with the name Trudi. At least it's a middle name, or that poor girl would be facing being called "Turdi" from second grade through middle school. If only this post had been up a week ago!

Greg said...

At least "Angus" didn't have the "g" dropped....

Nan said...

Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. The literally out-loud laugh.

wv: digno
I digno you named your little girl Turdi!

Nina said...

Haaa!! How funny these are!

Beverly Diehl said...

@ Anon: "Please someone tell me what WV: (random misspelled word) refers to! Please and spanks you! :-)"

WV is for Word Verify, the funky little words we have to type in to comment. People are using 'em to be cute/witty.

WV: materiss - When talking about a Wreck, what materiss how much it makes you laugh. Today, lots.

Nan said...

@ Anonymous, wv is word verification. It's the little code word you have to type in to prove that you are human when you comment.

wv: munthri.
A munthri two ago, I didn't know what wv was, either.

Gary said...

Test.

Gary said...

This must be Trudi's turdief birfday.

Ebuck said...

This reminds me of the whole "Ashlynn" somehow became "Asslynn" debacle.

Brie said...

LOLOLOL @ Colonel Ingus. I love Rachel Dratch.

Aliza said...

Oh, I'm so sending today's post to my aunt Trudi! (Yes, I'm evil).

As for "Richie", "Cubby", and "Bobby" I'm wondering... was that a true accident, or was this another case of "innocently" hinting (as with Jenn marring Troy the other week). This may explain why Cubby's cake is only a lame cookie. So if he chows down on the whole thing, it's not as caloric as eating a big slab cake!

And if honey bunny's hubby's horny, that cake makes perfect sense ;)

PS Empress Nina... I can totally relate. Pretty much anyone who's Mother Tongue is English can't pronounce (or spell) my name. The worst mis-spelling was when they got just one letter right (the "l")!

Sharyn said...

@ninja dude 12, you made my day. I NEED a "Go to the worm infested nothingness of the 7th cake!" t-shirt.

Amy from Nashville said...

Anonymous- As to WV... for the first few months, I thought it was some hillbilly thing, the way they spelled and pronounced things in West Virginia. It was nice to catch on.

Micalah said...

Such a great post (as always)! Made me almost pee my pants!

Anonymous said...

I have a similar cake mishap from my childhood.

It was my sister's birthday. Her name is Brett.

What was on the cake?

Happy Birthday Brat!

Karen C said...

Love the got milk line!!!!

Babsiegirl said...

Kudos for the Colonel Ingus reference!

Elizabeth said...

This totally made my day, thanks!!

Elizabeth said...

This post completely made my day. Especially that "Ingus" comment.

Anonymous said...

As we ponder a name for our child I will now see if it can result in a cake wreck!!

Anonymous said...

I love a random SNL reference.

Anonymous said...

The Booby cake would have been so easy to fix too, just a little stem to turn that second o into a b... It must take talent to produce such a wreck.

Kati said...

I wasn't "getting" the Ingus joke. I thought, "huh, what's so wrong with Ingus? It's much better than Anus, right?" And what's with the Colonel bit? But then I read the comment in my best Mississippi accent. And I was shocked, I tell you, shocked by you Jenn! And I used to think you were such a refined young woman. ;-) LOL!

wv: barpt
I almost barpt when I saw the last cake.

Jennifer said...

Angus' cake could have been worse... the "decorator" could have just omitted the 'g'.

Craig said...

Additional evidence that some names are really self-fulfilling prophecies: "Happy Birthday, Chubby -- have a heavily-frosted giant cookie!"

'Happy Birthday Ingus' also celebrates the coming History Channel premier of 'Lava Road Truckers.' "Those ice road guys are girlie-men compared to us!"

I'm getting a strong hint of intentionality in the 'mis-spelling' of Ritchie's cake.

'Booby' seems to have been the recipient of a radically new take on the cupcake cake. Are those Frosted Flakes?

Poor Turdi. Ya wanna know what someone really thinks of you, just let 'em order your birthday cake. Know what I'm sayin'? That has to be in the running for 'most actively disgusting cake yet' because it's almost good, yet has problems. What on Mars happened on the left side?!

Not sure if it helps or not that I went directly to 'Boney Maroney' on the next one.

Finally, nothing. With worms. Oh joy.

Anonymous said...

At Bitchie I was hooting.
At Got Milk I laughed so hard I scared the dog.
At Turdi I nearly tripped over the dog trying to race to the bathroom to pee.
I came back and saw Honey Boney and nearly woke the neighbors I was nearly screaming with laughter.

(wipes tears from eyes)
Bless you!!!

-Barbara Anne

P.S. you warn us we should just lug our computers into the bathroom??

Cybrczch said...

Oh poor Ritchie, to be done in by an overwrought "R".

WV: imycle
Who was the imycle who decorated these wrecks?

C-squared said...

HAHA! Reminds me of the Office when Micheal's GF Jan had the baby, and they spelled it wrong-Astird!
-C-squared!

Anonymous said...

These men are nihilists... there's nothing to be afraid of.

Arlene said...

Oh my goodness! I thought that honey boney cake was pretty til I saw the writing lol. At least you could read it. Poor booby or bobby..not a good thing. I sure wouldn't have bought that or the turdi cake. Sheesh and I thought my name would be hard for them to spell..

amyandtenaya said...

lol at the happy birthday booby one, the kids asked me what i was laughing at so i told them, nothing

Dayspring said...

Please please can someone tell me what the 'wv' thing is all about??

Anonymous said...

You said poor Angus but I was expecting a MUCH worse name than Ingus! Thank goodness they remembered the 'g'!

Mel said...

ahh Colin Firths greatest performance.

Wee Tait Cakes said...

I literally laughed out loud at some of these - particularly Trudi lol.

Michael Lange Optometrist said...

Well I'm sure most of these are meant to be jokes...

Hisham Soliman said...

"bye bye bitchie" ahhh my favorite

Amity said...

LOVE the SNL reference on cake #2!

Anonymous said...

second cake... happy birthday INGUS. ingus means SNOT in the malay language, here in south east asia. lovely, just lovely. fiery snot, anyone?

Anonymous said...

:) 69 comments (although this is 70...)

Kaija said...

The sad thing is that that "honey boney" cake wouldn't be a wreck if it weren't for that. It's actually quite nice.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh! Thank you, thank you ALL of you for the word verify explanation! Being in the know really amplifies the hilarity! :)

WV: ingsts - Them there decorators must have a lot of ingsts built up in order to slaughter those cakes that way.

Toni said...

Richie's cake made me laugh out loud! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Colonel Ingus. BWA HA HA HA!