Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Class Acts

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hey there, teachers! This week is for you! So, in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, we'd like to say thanks to all teachers, past and present, the only way we know how:

With embarrassingly ironic school cakes.

It's the least we can do for you, teachers. After all, you've taught us so many invaluable lessons.

Like punctuation...

Read this out loud. You'll sound like "William," "Shatner."

...basic math...

I'm guessing the flux capacitor costs extra.

...and creative writing!

This is why you don't submit cake orders via Twitter.

Yes, teachers, if you hadn't taught us these basic skills, we might end up looking like total boobs!

And just think what would happen to our stick-figure drawing skills!

You're responsible for molding us from the very beginning...

Sure, just put those letters anywhere.

...all the way into adulthood, preparing us for the outside world!

I gradulate this wreckorator for making me water the keyboard. Through my nose.

So, teachers, we salute you - because even if I broke the safety scissors, slept through class, and skipped most of Senior year...

...I don't think I turned out so bad, after all.


Thanks to Aimee S., Anonymous 1 & 2, Cassandra B., Cassie P., Holly H., Jennifer C., and Sarah F. for these school house wrecks.

Say, have you thanked a teacher today?
BillyBites said...

I love the Kindergarden Grad one

Katie said...

Do people really get kids cake for graduating kindergarten? I didn't get cake for that.

Trevor said...

I love the stick-boob cake. (What else do you call that anyway?) But I AM envious of the wreckerator's penmanship. It looks really good!

Amy said...

I thought it was so odd the first time I heard of a kindergarden or elementary school that had a full graduation ceremony. I mean, really!?

Sara said...

it is a shame about that one cake, because the writing on it was soooo nice... and, on another note, I'm pretty mad at my mother now! She never threw me a Kindergarten grad party and got me cake!

Joy said...

Does that stick figure have boobs?

Historian said...

That's awesome. My finance and I are both educators, and I can't wait to show these to him when we're together again. :-)
Rachel

Anonymous said...

#5, beautiful writing. I guess if you attend 'Kiddie Kollege' the best you can expect is to be a 'graduit'.

And poorly Harlie Jo on that last cake. Poo-colored flowers!

Amanda Mac said...

The writing on the Kindergarten College cake is really fantastic - too bad icing doesn't come with spell check...

WV: prending. These wreckerators were only prending they knew how to spell.

bassgirl said...

It's almost as if the person who decorated the last cake, with the perfect straight line and even decorations, was not the person who added the "amazing" lettering. Whew!

Sharon said...

Reads like William Shatner...Bwahahahahaha!

Love it!

I cringe every time I see someone spell Congratulations wrong.

Sharon's Edible Art

I went 2 publick skool said...

Spelling 'congratulations' correctly and then misspelling 'graduates' on the same cake is like scoring a goal for the other team. Googly moogly.

Anonymous said...

Our teachers would order cakes for faculty and make bets on whether or not it would arrive correctly punctuated and spelled. I have to order a cake for my little one's birthday today, I was toying with calling it in. You made my decision for me!

I went 2 publick skool said...

Spelling 'congratulations' correctly and then misspelling 'graduates' on the same cake is like scoring a goal for the other team. Googly moogly.

Susana said...

Does The cryptic Twitter cake have a translation?

H B-day = Happy Birthday
At Got Wait = And Graduation
At Mk At DSb = And may you get all you Deserve

Didn't know Nell was a cake decorator. Good for her!

WV: antskst " it was with great antskst and a mild eye twitch that I decoded the writing on the cake."

poisonheart said...

I think the flowers/lettering on the last one are supposed to be "dusky purple" rather than "excrement brown."

If it weren't for the colors being an exact match, I'd suspect that one of poor Harlie Jo's "parents" added the "inscription" later.

(Yay for gratuitous "quote marks"!)

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to show these to my son when he gets home from kimderten this afternoon.

poisonheart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RoseAnn said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who took note of all the celebration for kindergarten graduation. Back when I was in kindergarten, we got a party on the last day and snarky comments from our parents about going into 1st grade. LOL

flying gargoyle said...

Does anyone have a translation for the "Twitter cake"? I cannot parse it into any coherent thought!

Angie said...

No Star Wars wrecks for May the 4th?!? I'm shocked! Not that these weren't wrecky greatness, though!

Anonymous said...

VW - It seems these cakes were decorated rather uncerly.

Um, ok, you've made it through Kindergarten - get on with your life ok? :D

Renny said...

In the wreckerator's defense for the 1976 cake, it doesn't say 40th ANNUAL Reunion. It is very possible this is the 40th time they're reunited as a class since 1976, we'll just never know...

Melinda said...

The Kiddie Kollege cake (kake?) is beautiful, other than the unfortunate misspelling(s). I dislike when words are purposely misspelled to be alliterative, especially on something that's supposed to be educational.

My kids all had kindergarten graduation, but it was really just a performance of rhymes and songs, and we didn't have cake. The sad thing is, I remember very little of them, other than every class sang "Allison's Camel," and in the "A is for..." recitation in my oldest son's class, 21 years ago, I can remember the little girl who had, "U is for underwear!" but I have no idea what my son's letter was. I am an awful parent. :-P

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOL but the kiddie kollege might have been spelled that way on purpose-people tend to be cutsey with kid's stuff

jo said...

I wonder, are the wreckerators this bad at spelling or is it the people placing the order? and the wreckerator doesn't bother to fix the mistakes or doublecheck the order, they just pipe what they see on the order form? (since they're not paid to think, but to fill the orders on time for minimum wage)

Anonymous said...

I'm missing something on the 40th reunion one ... where's the fuzzy math?

Ellen said...

After 40+ years in the teaching profession, I am deeply moved to see these fabulous cakes.

That's because I teach music, not spelling!

;-)


wv - bozoatin

See the bozoatin that cake? He's a wreckerater trying to hide the evidence the only way he knows how!

pikkewyntjie said...

Those round circly things on the "boob" cake look a bit low for boobs. I think they're something else and I think that's a dude.

I am a part-time instructor for a large for-profit university (the one named for a large Southwestern city that runs TV ads constantly - believe me, that tuition ain't goin' to the teachers!) It's an open-enrollment university, which means anyone can get in. Anyone. Now, imagine those cakes in the form of a five-paragraph essay and you'll know what I deal with, but only if the cakes were plagiarized. [Sigh!]

Flartus said...

Yes, these cakes are just more proof of the silliness of "kinderten" graduation ANYTHING! Puh-leeze.

On the bright side, it's nice to see there are still employment opportunities for those who DON'T "gradulate" from "kinderten."

(Going off to cry now...if you think this is bad, try teaching the kiddies a different language.)

Goosey said...

Maybe these wreckerators should go back and "gradute" from "kinderten." Dahaha.

SaraCVT said...

What's with all the people spelling "kindergarten" as "kinderten"? Don't they remember there's a "g" sound in there? Oh, yeah, these are wreckerators we're dealing with....silly me.

Labgoddess said...

OMG! I cannot keep from snorting with laughter when I see the latest wrecks! "Stick-boob" cake...priceless!

Esther said...

I'm surprised you didn't put any Star Wars cakes in today's post. Today is "Star Wars Day" (May the fourth)

Nyperold said...

Now there's a conundrum: two of those cakes say "kinderten", but if they were to add "gar"s, they'd be fish cakes...

KatjaMouse said...

Wow. I came in expecting May The Fourth Star Wars goodness. I am disappoint.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA! These are sadly hilarious like when my two-year-old falls down hard after spinning in circles and I'm shaking with silent laughter while trying to comfort him. I'm shaking with laughter at these cakes while tying to justify my laughter with the thought that there are still enough smart people in the world to fill 3 spots on Jeopardy! every night. Right? RIGHT???

Donna said...

LOL "Graduit" (pronouncing it in my head makes me really laugh)

On a totally unrelated note:
Happy Star Wars Day - May the 4th be with you! :)

SuBee said...

The message on the fourth cake,

H B-day
At Got wait
At Mk At DSb,

is code! That's how they got Bin Laden!

Jessica S said...

I am a teacher eating lunch in my classroom and another teacher came in to check on me I was laughing so hard...I'm just wishing I could teach Kinderten instead of second grade!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the 40th reunion cake people just like to plan ahead...far ahead....with all that shellac-icing, the cake will probably look the same when 2016 rolls around...

Tricia L said...

The Twitter cake gave me a headache and I still don't know what it says. Risking an EPCOT explosion, can anyone translate for a non-texter?

wv: stswit
(I could probably come up with something for that, but the headache prevents it.)

Monica said...

Inquiring minds want to know--what happened AFTER the day Julie was born? If I'm reading that cake correctly, that was the last good day and if I were Julie, I might be wondering what I did ;-)

mimi said...

My daughter is finishing up kindergarten. I feel the need to order a cake to celebrate. Just to see if they'll mess it up. (Of course they messed up her name last time, so who knows what will happen.)

You missed Star Wars Day, I'm sad. :( May the 4th be with you.

wv: sadrad... what happens when something is so sad it becomes good again, like some of those cakes.

Mallie said...

@Anonymous at 10:49 AM, the year 1976 was only 35 years ago. By the time the 40th anniversary rolls around, the cake will be quite stale.

All of the cakes are great, but I think my favorite is the first one - how do you screw up "ABC"?! Unbelievable.

Shannon said...

Kinderten. HA HA HA HA...awesomeness that more than one person got that wrong in the exact same way!

Sharon said...

Jackson 5 song rewritten:
ACB, as easy as 1,2,3.
As easy as Do, Re, Mi, ACB, that's how easy love can be.

Still rhymes.....

Sharon's Edible Art

lisadh said...

Classic wrecks! LMAO!!

Craig said...

Kids graduate from kindergarten these days? With a cake and everything? Mr. Incredible was right.

wv (before what I was GOING to post vanished into the ether, anyway -- thank you very little, thou demons of 'unable to complete your request', whomever you may be): chymp.

I'll resist temptation and let others insert their own jokes. (Mutter, mutter, new-fangled inventions...consarn blankety-blank computers...)

winsomebulldog said...

It's May the Fourth, as is, "May the Fourth be with you!"

How in the world did you guys miss "Star Wars Day?!?"

Oh, well, the glories of pathetic spelling always make me laugh (and cringe) anyway.

Diane said...

I want to know what the plastic hat in the last picture is covering up on that cake? There is clearly a frosting drawing of something under it! lol

wv: moryl
The moryl of this post is that most of these wreckarators obviously didn't graduate kinderten.

Anonymous said...

No Star Wars cakes? It's May the Fourth...May the Fourth be with you...Sigh.

winsomebulldog said...

As an aside, I had a kindergarten graduation complete with real caps and gowns with cute little pink and blue tassels and even professional photos. LOL

I have no idea if it had any real impact on my life, but I did at least finish school with the ability to spell "kindergarten," "graduates," and "congratulations" correctly.

Jayde said...

I always wondered on the misspelled cakes if the person ordering the cake misspelled it on the order form and the baker just copied what the person wrote. Not that this excuses the baker in anyway from such horrible mispellings, but it might help shed some light on why baker's comstantly misspell words.

Maddie said...

I like these.... but i was hoping for a themed MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU post. Sunday Sweets??

Sharyn said...

All of these cakes were decorated by angry bakers who didn't get a fancy kindergarten graduation. NEVER give someone seething with resentment a pastry bag!

Jennifer said...

TWO different "kinderten" cakes? TWO???? That's TWICE the idiocy? WOW...

WV: gretyl. Hansyl's sister. Duh...

msyendor said...

Hm. No, without the third leg, the those are boobs ... Bra check, please. Nice penmanship. Suddenly I have an awful urge to stream a run of Kindergarten Kop and listen to someone terminate the English language.

wv: Rappetor -- newest bad boy rap group (I'd try my hand at Wreck rapping but my brain has taken a vacation this week and I'm running on caffeine)

Ellen said...

@ Craig:

Yf an ynfynyte number of chymps wyth an ynfynyte number of pypyng bags worked on cakes . . . they'd styll probably spell better than what's on these cakes(Or possybly pype Kyng Lear on one)!

Jen said...

MY GOD. Were some of these bakers TRYING to be on cake wrecks? Yikes.

Doctor Tarr said...

Did the "kinderten" cakes come from different bakeries? It's impressive that they both used that odd spelling.

It's also impressive that more than one commenter here got the word wrong. Your browser's spell checker may not always be right, but at least listen to what it has to say!

We use the German word "Kindergarten" because the term was coined by Friedrich Fröbel for his implementation of transitional education for young children, and the first one in the U.S., founded in Watertown, Wisconsin, in 1840, was patterned after his.

Anonymous said...

Susana's comment about the Twitter cake being decorated by Nell made me snort/laugh harder than any of the wrecks. Now I can't stop going back to hear/read it in that voice!

Leesa said...

Someone has probably already sent you this link, but if not, I think you'll like this home office - steampunk style!

http://work.failblog.org/2011/04/26/job-fails-i-dont-always-work-from-home-but-when-i-do-its-awesome/

Leesa

Craig said...

Good one, @Ellen.

#2 If you're going to wish someone a happy birthday, it is proper etiquette to use their real name instead of an alias. The comma implies a rather unfortunate 'until', does it not?

#3 It's good to know they're still wrecking five years from now -- CW's future is secure. At least it doesn't say '40st'.

#4 Who knows what it means? The Shadow knows...! [sinister chuckle]

#5 Maybe the drawing is supposed to represent the teacher. Yeah, that's it. Somewhat less creepy that way. Why do I have a sinking feeling that the spelling of 'graduit' was requested by the customer.

#6 Ah, the reverse neti pot effect. It is said to be good for one's health. Rather less healthy for one's keyboard.

#7 HarlieJo is destined to ride motorcycles far and wide, in a never-ending quest for missing letters.

Q: How many chymps does it take to program a sign-in app that doesn't eat a post?
A: More than are presently employed, obviously.

(mutter, mutter, dad-blasted contraptions, mutter, mutter...)

Holly said...

I have to agree that the kiddie kollege one has amazing font, it is super sad that such a great application was ruined by such a mess up!

Melanie said...

I too was searching for some Star Wars cakes. Nevertheless, Happy Star Wars Day Jen, et al! "May the 4th be with you!" :)

Kristen said...

Very cute post today. Loved all the teaching cakes...

But a tad disappointed, was expecting some glorious Star Wars Wrecks (or tributes)?

May the fourth be with you!

Anonymous said...

Had to read it 25 times to get the significance of May the Fourth (be with you)...

Needless to say, I didn't miss the Star Wars cakes... :)

JadeWarlock said...

What I find funny on the stick figure cake is that not only does the stick figure look a bit naughty, but they also misspelled Graduate - "graduits."

To those who are able to share these wrecks I salute you.

Anonymous said...

A C B
easy as
2 1 3

LOL

Oy vey

And they make you pay for that. *facepalm*

--Ignatius

Anonymous said...

Man, geeks are demanding! This May Fourth indignation is cracking me up, especially following all the Pi Day complaints. Better start working on a Mole Day post or there'll be a mutiny!

Title Loans said...

Oh, WOW. This is a fail all around on their parts! I laughed so hard when I saw the last one! What were they thinking?

The English Teacher said...

Gee, thanks.
I feel so very honored. :)

Lizzy Leigh said...

Class of '76 is a 40 year reunion? Crap! That means I'm five years older than I thought. What'll I tell my parents?

Leslie said...

So, I'm a Bowsher grad - not from the Class of '76, however! Too funny!

Lisa said...

THe Twitter cake won't leave me alone. I'm going INSANE trying to figure out what the heck it means. What does it all MEAN!??!?!

gadfly1974 said...

@Trevor, Joy, et al.: My nephew would call those "breasticles!"

sarahwinters said...

I wanted to cry when I read the 1976 one. I'm not 40 yet and don't age me any faster than mother-nature is already Mr. or Mrs. cake person.
Thanks for the laugh,
Sarah Winters

Anonymous said...

I actually have a friend named Karli Jo...that last one's kinda creepy

Puppygirl said...

It actually floors me that "kinderten" is on two separate cakes, presumably by two separate bakeries!
Apparently, 'kindergarten' is not on the vocabulary lists of more than one school district.

protojew62 said...

"I"...think...the...Shatner..cake...is "best!"

S said...

This was the best teacher appreciation acknowledgment I received this year! Thanks for that!

Kristie said...

There actually is a school called 'Kinderten'. It's possible it wasn't a mistake.....probably not though.

Leigh Ann said...

That's awesome. My finance and I are both educators, and I can't wait to show these to him when we're together again. :-)
Rachel
------------
Uh, Rachel, I hope that was just auto correct that got you there! Just teasing, but I couldn't resist.

About the cakes, except for the spellings most of them were really nice looking cakes.

Anonymous said...

I am sad to say I am a bowsher graduate :(
I think they were teaching us new age math back then!!!

Anonymous said...

Nice post! :)
it's also nurses week, are you going to make a post of that?

Deborah said...

I know for a fact that there is a daycare in my area that goes by Kiddie Kollege. I looked at it for my kids. There's a reason that graduit is wrong, and that part isn't on purpose.

The Twitter cake has still got me boggled.

And ACB? Dr Seuss taught me better.

Melanie said...

Am I the only one who laughed out loud at the flux capacitor reference?

And people, it's KindergarTen. Not KindergarDen. Sorry, pet peeve of mine. But at least you managed to include all of the syllables.

Anonymous said...

@Katie “Do people really get kids cake for graduating kindergarten? I didn't get cake for that.” Neither did anyone here- they got cakes for kinderten (twice-- really??) and they are graduits not or gradutes. *sigh*

@mysendor F.T.W. “kindergarten kop" & "terminate the English language” I bow to your awesomeness.

@Ellen & Craig- stop being so clever- you’re wrecking the curve for the rest of us. Hmph

-Barbara Anne

P.S. I'm mostly sure J & J knew it was Star Wars day...mostly.

DJ Twisted Sister said...

Awwwwwwwwzzz...Kindergarten cakes should be chock full of jumbly mistakes! Congrats you little pests!

insaneirony said...

I dont think the decorater or 'wrecerator'was a kindergarten graduate.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the stick boob cake. One of my friends would say that was probably a 42 long. Norine

Anonymous said...

I wonder what "Julie's" real name is.

Anonymous said...

These were so awesome! Thanks for the reminder that I need to do something to show my son's kindergarten teacher some appreciation! These were some of the prettiest wrecks I've seen! I'm guessing that the wreckerators used cursive on most of the kindergarten cakes because they figured that most kindergartners cannot read cursive, so who cares how they are spelled! Of course I'm among those who doesn't consider moving from kindergarten to first grade a graduation- just a promotion like any other grade.
@ Craig, I'm with you on thinking of Mr. Incredible on this one!
I had forgotten all about "May the 4th be with you!" for today, so thanks to all who pointed it out- It's on the calendar for next year so I can celebrate it in an appropriate fashion!

Jacinda Green said...

You would think that cakes dealing with education would use proper grammar. Guess I thought wrong lol

Arlene said...

Why on earth is there a Kindergarten graduation? I never had one..did I miss out on a great milestone? Apparently I did with these wrecks. I think now I am going to go whine to my parents about not getting a cake for that lol and watch them look at me like I have a third head.

AnnaMontana said...

AnnaMontana
As a teacher and a recent graduate myself, some of those caekes made me a little sick....in fact a lot of sick....I HATE 'cakes for teachers', its not a custom we have in England and I reckon it's a ploy to make us all fat...but that's just me. Saying that, if I was presented with this type of mess, you could guarentee I'd loose 200pounds, just at the sight of it!! lol

Tiff said...

I'm surprised no one has commented on the interesting spelling of graduates. Maybe everyone was too distracted by the stick boobs. :)

Tiff said...

Oh yeah, thank you for the Back to the Future reference!

Cutelilsnot said...

Wonder what comes before "kinderten?" Kindernine, kindereight....

Evan said...

My sister types like the writer in the over commaed cake wrote. DRIVES ME COMPLETELY BATTY!!!

WV: lockdow: Those piping bags need to be in lockdow, yo, until those guys learn to spell!

The Ex-Perfectionist said...

I have read these over and over because they make me giggle!! This is one of your funniest ones!! PERFECT commentary!

Dave and Karlee Waddoups said...

Weird... My name is Karlee Jo. Harlie Jo is pretty darn close.

Hannah said...

You know, that stick figure boob cake's writing looked really good... Until I looked at it again, and noticed it said "Graduit"...

pikkewyntjie said...

For those of you who missed out on Kindergarten graduation, consider yourself fortunate. My school had one way back in 1972 and the way we had to rehearse for that thing, you would have thought the Queen of England was going to be there! (Not sure she made it.) Not only that, but we had to wear these idiotic white "gowns" with these gigantic red bows. We looked like the minions of a demented clown!I think there was cake, but I don't remember and I was sure glad when it was over! I was so glad my kids didn't have to go through that foolishness!

awalrath said...

Oh wow, just found this! I have a friend that is a pro cake decorator and wow some of hers could actually be on this site!

-Annie

Dianimall said...

OMG I think I just went through two years of posts in a matter of about 2 days. I need rest. And chocolate, not of the poop kind.
Thanks for the laughs and the smiles!
Diane

Cassandra B. said...

The last cake is my niece's cake. No, we did not order the cake that way! We've ordered beautiful Birthday Cakes from this store before, so the only thing we where conserned with them possibly messing up was her name. The lady who usually does the cakes had to leave, so they left it up to another lady who failed. HORRIBLY. We had them place that plastic white cap on the cake to cover up an icing cap. At least I think it was a cap. I thought it was a lopsided diamond with a yellow fork in the middle. It was supposed to be marroon and white for her school colors. Not purple poo brown. My niece took one look at it and declared, "It's a cake! Let's eat!" And no, we did not pay for it. Thank God it tasted good! XD