Thursday, May 19, 2011

Because Patience and Kindness are Overrated

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I didn't think it'd been that long since my wedding reception, but apparently I'm already behind the times. Used to be, folks just clinked their glasses any time they wanted the happy couple to kiss.

Now I see bakers are taking it a step further:

And then some.

Don't see it? Here, let me zoom in:

Now, cue the music, DJ! It's time for the groom to DANCE.


Thanks to Heather C. for finally finding a wedding wreck to rival "faith, hope, thrust."
Anonymous said...

NOT loving the color scheme here...

M. Dale said...

...and it's iced in a flesh tone and pink even. Nice touch.

Peter said...

Oh my...apparently this was an 'adult' only reception?

Anna said...

Hummm... I wonder if an they had an open bar too ;)

flying gargoyle said...

Whoa! Sometimes love *does* bare all, but you usually don't throw a party to let your friends & family to know.

I'm trying to think of what the inscription should have been. Perhaps, "Love bears all"? Still not a auspicious sentiment to start life together.

Caitlin said...

i don't get it? is it the love bares all part? i can understand why that would be said. am i missing something?

Donna said...

Maybe the wedding/reception was held at a nudist resort?


WV: toldom - I toldom and toldom it was the exact color of the grooms tushie!

Anonymous said...

snort!

Scotland said...

okay... I'll admit that I don't get it!

This a joke that only Americans are likely to get?

M. Dale said...

The inscription was meant to be from 1 Corinthians 13. It's a common wedding scripture indicating that "love bears all things". That is to say (paraphrasing, of course), "If you're going to love someone, you're going to have to deal with all their crap."
To "bare" all things would mean to uncover all things...which, might also involve dealing with someone else's...uh, "issues", I suppose.

Maureen said...

Wow. not only a glaring spelling error, but a really, REALLY ugly wedding cake!!

Caroline B said...

Oh dear, I'm off to the Epcot bunker early to get a good seat.
But not before I put in my two pennyworth:
bares - to get nekkid
bears - to tolerate...now do you get it???
shambles off muttering.......

Anonymous said...

For those that don't get it...Bare is to expose ones flesh or strip. (Bare feet) Bear means to hold a burden, or a large furry animal with sharp teeth.

The color scheme is a nice touch. The cake looked bare.

zoomom said...

Probably about a million people are going to share this information, but just in case they don't; for all of you who don't get it, it is a homophone mix-up. It is supposed to be a bible verse, "Love bears all things, believes, all things, hopes all things, endures all things..." but they wrote "bares" instead of "bears". Get it now?

msyendor said...

Bares ... stripping it all down to essentials,

Bears/bears ... even though you come carrying a load of baggage and can be a beast at times ...

wv: prize ... you're still my prize in this crackerjack life.

(but not that cake. not a good color scheme for me)

Shasta said...

My eyes... they burn! Those colors will haunt my dreams...

sendingtheclowns said...

I agree with all of you who said, or who are going to say, that the garish, goldish (silk?) ribbon smack up against a beige-y, thumb-printed fondant isn't precisely the best look for a wedding (or anywhere else, either, but that's behind the point).
What freaks me are the happy couple on top, who look so anorexic and inhumanly proportioned. Who has legs almost 3X as long as their body??? (I mean besides that alien in Close Encounters of the Legs 3X Body Length movie.)
It sends a message to young folks that if you want to be married, you must starve yourself, purge, and purge again--only to eat an ugly cake, but hey-you're married.

And what kind of message is THAT, I ask you.

=^u.u^=

Anonymous said...

Ahehehehe

kelly said...

I had a supervisor who once sent an email asking everyone to just "bare" with her. I remember thinking "Won't I get fired for that?"

Love those homophones.

Anonymous said...

What, no one is going to comment on the classy aluminum foil covered cardboard rounds under each layer?

Anonymous said...

@ Caitlin & Scotland
This is what they were going for (as mentioned, from 1st Corinthians):
"[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

A lovely and popular wedding sentiment and a very unfortunate spelling error, indeed.

wv: adedd. Some kind of erectile attention deficit disorder.

Anonymous said...

I think the aluminum foil adds the perfect finishing touch.

Hee! Heading off to the bunker with Caroline B...

Craig, when you get here, can you give us a rundown on the Spaceship Earth status? Thanks!

Andrea

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Bwahahahaha! I still like the "thrust" cake better, but this one is pretty funny.

wv: cruselin: That wreckerator is cruselin for a bruiselin with a mistake like that!

:-D

Ellen said...

Hey, if you're going to mess up the verse, why not go all the way, wreckerator:

Love bares all things, de-leaves all things, hops all things, impures all things.

Can you imagine that honeymoon? Impure naked hopping in a room full of ruined potted plants!

Now that's a way to start off a marriage!

wv - trifyial

That wreckerator probably thinks we are being mean, picking on a trifyial mistake. And that's probably how he spells "trivial!"

Mary Connealy said...

English as a second language explains everything.

I need to believe that.

Bill said...

Shouldn't it be "Lust bares all..."

Kathryn H said...

What crayola used to call "flesh", now called "peach". Either way--Not. A. Good. Wedding Cake. Color.

LiterateJedi said...

This is very appropriate since today is my fifth anniversary!

Admittedly, baring all probably is on the menu... but that seems a little TMI to put on the cake. :|

Anonymous said...

After reading for over a year, I think I finally have a handle on what EPCOT means...finally.

Laury said...

Aarghh, heading to the bunker with my bare bear. And something alcoholic as well, because I just caught myself trying to think of what the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses would look like with that colour scheme...

Letitia said...

love bears, what the freak are love bears??? (snick)

pricolatino said...

At least it doesn't say "love buries all".

Anonymous said...

The topper looks like Tim Burton freako people.

Karen said...

Heading to the bunker now! I've got the chips, who's bringing drinks? Gosh, what an ungly cake!(even without the spelling mistake!)

Teabunny said...

Oh, Ellen, "impure naked hopping" is now my new favorite phrase. I'm going to work it into a conversation at least once today.

Marlyse said...

I hope they got their money back...

Charlene said...

I'm so glad someone else is freaked out by that topper! It could have been pretty, but the proportions are so off. The couple must be skinny giants!

Barefeet In The Kitchen said...

Laughing so hard now. I just hope that love can keep it on through the reception.

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Anonymous 11:53(who said)...
"What, no one is going to comment on the classy aluminum foil covered cardboard rounds under each layer?":

Actually, I did see that, and was gonna say sumpin, but then I realized that at least it kind of *picks up* the silvery look of the groom's pants, and the Fancy Swirlies on the dress.........the only cheesier thing would've been to have the cake layers be actual cheese wheels. Preferably aged cheddar.

=^@.@^=

Kimberly Chapman said...

And sum people think I'm crewel for wining about the sari staid of righting these daze.

Car Title Loans said...

It's good that it's flesh-tones, because that would be embarrassing if it were more noticeable without a close-up. Could you imagine if this was your wedding cake? I'd be horrified!

Ava

Anonymous said...

What made me laugh even more than the homophone on the cake was the May 19th anonymous comment which said: Bear means to hold a burden, or a large furry animal with sharp teeth." I seemed to have missed the comma and pictured someone struggling to carry a heavy and cumbersome animal that was trying to bite them.

Jade said...

I do believe that if you stood the cake topper next to the cake, it would be as tall as or taller than the actual cake--that is cringe-worthy in itself, but pales in comparison to the poor spelling, hideous color scheme and overall tackiness of the cake as a whole. And yet, the bride and groom allowed it to be displayed...*shudder*

WV: sheritt, as in "Someone call the sheritt, this cake is a crime against humanatees!" ;)

NiteNurse said...

Now, as I understand it, I'm supposed to hop naked into the bunker with alcohol, a bear, Tim Burton, and a Bible?

Could this possibly be correct...?

wv: sprosome. Let's just sprosome sprinkles and hope for the best.

Terrell

Craig said...

Well, since there was an actual Spaceship Earth (picture) yesterday, it seems only appropriate -- if that is a word that could begin to apply in this context -- that there should be a figurative one today.

I will not, however, bear -- that's e-a -- the burden of adding to it. Even if 1 Corinthians 13 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible.

Sharyn said...

That's what happens when Emily Litella decorates your cake.

Never mind.

WV: cular - there's something wrong with the cular combination on that cake. (I LOVE word verification serendipity...)

chaitea said...

Adults only SWM : next season, the Care Bares

wv: sparda ... Also adults only, the truth behind the 300

M. Dale said...

(Am I the one who supposedly started the "Epcot"?...I didn't mean to....I was just trying to explain to the two people who said that they didn't understand....
I think more people have mentioned Epcot/bunker than commented on the original alleged Epcot. But, ya know, sorry if I contributed to that and upset anyone....)

Melinda said...

Ah, Faith, Hope and Thrust has got to be my all-time favorite wreck. It's so great because other than the one tiny extra letter, it's a gorgeous cake. This one is pretty wrecky even without the spelling error.

Carol and Jeff said...

Does anyone else think that the cake stands are upside down??? I couldn't look at the cake any more and my eyes moved on to the accessories...

Carol

Christina said...

I'm dying here reading the comments.... took me more than a glance or two to find the 'wreck' in today's cake....


...heading to bunker with y'all... but not hopping (bad knees) - but I can shuffle ;)

wv: logedi

Logedi, you'd think they would have had a spell checker before starting to write...

Anonymous said...

Hey, some of us actually live outside the USA, and don't have the wonders of EPCOT to our disposal. Please, some kindness to all euro- trash if we don't get a small spelling- error at once!

Anonymous said...

Speaking as an amateur decorator who's come close to wreckage a few times, that "bares" actually looks as if it were re-written - at least the first two letters. I just have a vision of the wreckorator carefully printing "b - e - Nah, that looks wrong... b - a - YEAH!"

WV: reses - Maybe the wreckorator should've taken a reces and hunted up a copy of the Good Book? Or the order form?

Merry at Annie's Book Stop/Sharon, MA

Aliza said...

bares... flesh tone. Hmmm, aren't the (stretched out) people in the cake topper a bit, um, "overdressed" shall we say?

PS M.Dale and others thanks for the definition for those of us of different faiths. You actually prevented an Epcot (although amusingly, there seems to be an Epcot about Epcots!)

WV "scusl"-- there's no scusl for some of these cake flubs!

Jacinda Green said...

This cake just has me lost!

The colors don't look to good either!

Bree said...

I can't believe that's a professionally made wedding cake, even though I've seen cakes done by amateurs that can rival the best bakeries, and professional cakes that look like a kindergarten class got lost in the kitchen. I also wonder if that flesh tone was supposed to be a brighter peach or actual pink.

Rosie said...

Sloppy icing job too - looks like badly laid carpet tiles.

Ellen said...

@ Teabunny -]

Don't forget the leafless plants!


wv - mendcodl

Many mendcodl their brides by hopping very gently when they are naked and impure.

Ellen said...

Had to comment again, since this came up as the next wv: cortin

Wonder if they bared all when they were cortin!

Ellen said...

Hey, this article explains it all -- "bare," where the leaves went, and it even mentions hopping!

http://livingstylishlywell.com/2010/11/18/whatever-next-nude-weddinngs/

Tennille said...

That is some pretty crappy piping.

Anonymous said...

NOTHING beats the "thrust" cake! Nothing, I say!! (Of course, it still appears to be in the bakery and it was a Sunday Sweets worthy effort if it weren't for that Freudian slip)

THIS cake, however, comes in a knee slapping, angel-giggle inducing second. Oh, the humanity!! Forget eye bleach, I need distilled double rainbows to ease the brain cramp that one gave me.

-Barbara Anne

pikkewyntjie said...

The fact that so many people don't get the cultural reference definitely shows the problem. There is more than one kind of illiteracy. Sigh.
Well, at least they didn't go the cutesy route with the "love bears" and have a bear theme. I have seen that. This decorator probably still would have misspelled it.

WV: pling
The sound your bling should make if you drop it. If it doesn't, it's plastic flotsam.

Arlene said...

Arghh gross color scheme! If I were the bride that wreckerator better have a head start in running for the hills lol.

Scotland said...

Hey,

I had got the whole bare/bear thing...

Just initially hadn't got Jens comments. Frankly I must have been asleep yesterday. Am surprised that I actually managed to type out a sentence rather than hyujg <=result of head resting on keyboard.

sorry if I sent people running for the Epcot Bunker

Wee Tait said...

I'm not sure what's worse - the spelling error or the colour scheme! Eek!

Ginger said...

LOL at Bill @ 12:40 -- that would have been perfect! As is, though, I think the "thrust" cake has to be my all-time favorite. (Well, that and the plaid "inspiration/perspiration" one.)

katrina said...

RUNNING to the epcot bunker, I'll bring some cupcakes (NOT a ccc though).

GOD, is the state of education really that bad??

"I don't get it, why is everyone laughing, and, oh wait, WHY are the bride and groom stripping?!? "

Everyone who didn't get it, please take remedial English, for your sake and our sanity.

Anonymous said...

Huh. I was so distracted by the aluminum foil and the color scheme (and running to the bunker) that I didn't look too carefully at the topper. I thought it was just the bride up there by herself. But, no, it's actually TWO people. I'm guessing it was for *ElasticWoman's first marriage, to *Plastic Guy.

*The names have been changed to avoid any TM complications. :-)

Andrea

Kati said...

Hey now, people let's be kind now, ok? For those of you who are commenting on the cake topper: please remember that cake toppers are generally purchased ahead of time by the bride and groom. And Cake Wrecks isn't about being mean and making fun of people who order cakes. No, Cake Wrecks is here for us to laugh at the wrecks that the wreakorators make of the cakes people order! Can you say schadenfreude? http://youtu.be/FftfTWgI6Y0 [warning: adult language]

michele said...

Well the cake certainly does get your attention and starts you thinking. More than most cakes do.