Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sprinkled With Pride

Thursday, September 2, 2010

America!

Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!

We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...

...but our stomachs as well.


[swelling music]

We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:

But mostly the sprinkles.


[music swelling further]

America!


We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...

...but by the size of our ovens.


We believe that even our bread pudding...

...should be frosted. Patriotically.


Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...

...until it is deep-fried.

Aw yeeeah.

[music swelling further]

America!!

Where even our drizzle is patriotic:


And our monkeys...

...wear American kimonos.

Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.


America!!!!

[music now fully swollen]

And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...

...we know how to rock it.


AMERICA!!!!


Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.
«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 217   Newer›   Newest»
Brad said...

I've never seen such realistic..."rockets" on a cake. Does that cost extra?

Miranda said...

*sings*
Bay-bee, I can rock it to you
Hon-ney, the only thing I can do!

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. Seriously, who makes these?!

Anonymous said...

deep fried cupcakes! me want!

Cathy said...

Destined to be a classic! One of your very best posts.

Donna said...

*banging head on desk*

God Bless America!

Janet said...

deep fried cupcake? ewwwww.

however, i am laughing at the doughnut! SUA! SUA! (at least that's how I heard it in my head)

Anonymous said...

That last one looks a little bit...um....obscene.

Catmania said...

Wow - nothing says "America" to me like red, white & blue penises. Classy!!

Paul said...

I don't think the music is the only thing that's swollen in the last picture!

Trevor said...

Okay, the giant cupcake isn't THAT bad, really. I IS big, but there's actually a bit of a rage these days for cake shaped like cupcakes (No, I don't understand it either).

I LOVE the SUA doughnut, and who ices bread pudding?

Deep fried cupcakes? Someone needs to be hurt. Now. Stop the madness.

But the last one? AWESOME.

salamandermuse said...

Hahahahahahahah! "[music now fully swollen]" Hahahahahahahahah!

That was awesome! Thank you :)

Loren said...

"America, spread your golden wings, sail on freedom's wind, across the sky. Great bird, with your golden dreams...flying high, flying high!"

The Boob Nazi said...

What is the drizzle in the shape of? And what is drizzle?

Karen said...

Oh beautiful, for wrecky cakes, for mounds of poo frosting.
For spelling errors, phallic cakes and ev'rything between!
America, America, we wreck our cakes for thee!
We drown the cakes that we have baked in mounds of poo frosting!

Anonymous said...

Deep fried cupcakes!? The deep fried trend is really getting out of hand. It makes me want to eat only fruit and vegetables the rest of the day. They deserve a big greasy fatty "gross". Great post by the way, gave me a good laugh.

abi said...

I will freely admit that I would try a fried cupcake (although I'll take a pass on the pocket rockets on that last cake). But did you see this - fried butter??

Wendy said...

oh my. oh. my.

Angel H. said...

Sorry, I had to do this:

America - F*** yeah!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

Dori said...

Is it me or was that last cake really, really happy to just be nominated?

And They say patriotism is dead.

Mamakitty1978 said...

The "rockets" were the icing on this post! Pun very much intended.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Put the rocket on the monkey and then you've got a CAKE.

lizzied said...

(trying to figure out how to explain the gales of laughter coming from my office...)

Purplewalls said...

The whole thing should be voice-overed by Sam the Eagle.

Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NYCGirl said...

Abi, I just saw this on msn.com: http://www.delish.com/food/recalls-reviews/fried-beer-at-state-fair-of-texas?gt1=47001

The deep-fried butter was the one that really got to me, too. (Gulp.)

Tricia L said...

Deep fried cupcakes? I am so going to the county fair this year! (Of course, my gut will make me pay for it later.)

And who thought it was a good idea to wrap a monkey in an American flag? Please tell me this is from some distant country.

Pam said...

Aren't there laws against defacing the flag?

Ladybug914 said...

I'm sorry, were you saying something? I got distracted by "deep fried cupcakes"...I can't decide if I am feeling a deep craving, or a deep revulsion.

Oh, and I totally agree with the previous poster, Sam the Eagle would be perfect for the voice over!

Anonymous said...

Aaaaaugh! The rockets!!!

Thanks guys, now I'm going to have to poke out my eyes.

Caitlin said...

Um... the deep fried cupcake actually looks pretty good to me. Then again, I am also the one at Musikfest who ate two other people's deep fried cheesecake when they couldn't finish it themselves.

But the rest of these cakes gotta go. I fear for the children of the "SUA".

ellemck1 said...

Too. Many. Dirty. Jokes... I have such an evil mind, they're all running through.

And deep fried cupcakes?? I think my waistline just exploded a little looking at the picture...

shaz said...

I'm sorry but that donut is Australian, see how it says AUS? You have to turn it upside down to read it as befitting the land down under.

M said...

Considering they now have deep-fried beer, deep-fried cupcakes shouldn't surprised me that much.

Does the third picture still count as a CCC?

Heather said...

I love that the bread pudding was labels "automatic price reduction". Like they knew it was going to be so bad they just automatically reduced it.

And I really want to try a deep fried cupcake now!

Molly Malone said...

Is that first one a patriotic pancreas?

Julie said...

That bread pudding looks absolutely disgusting, and I think the pathetic attempt to ice it into a star shape just makes it worse. Like the "rockets" tho--the color makes me think of guys who would paint themselves at football games. Maybe they paint ALL of themselves!

WV: aceatoma. The medical condition you get from eating too much deep fried fair crap.

Amanda Mac said...

I lol'ed at the, erm, rockets. Did those bombs burst in air, or something else? *wink*

I actually really liked the giant cupcake.

ๆ„› - ใกใ‚ƒใ‚“ said...

Deep fried cupcakes? How'd it taste like?

The last cake got me laugh real hard! Who makes them anyway?

Queen Julian XIII said...

I don't know about anybody else, but I AM an American and I am seriously offended!!!... NOT! I am laughing so hard my college age son came in wondering what was so funny. BWAHAHAHAH!!!

flying gargoyle said...

Why, oh, why is the "America...[bleep] yeah!" song from Team America going through my head as I read this post?

Mission Accomplished, Cakewrecks Team! I can't stop laughing!

Anonymous said...

::blink:: ::blink::

LAUGH SO LOUD THE DOG STARTS BARKING!!!

::clear throat::

Ummm, I would have been kicked out of the store if I had seen the 'rockets' cake. It's hilarious.

~Tink

sevenmarie said...

the "SUA" doughnut looks like it says "SUP" at first.
like the doughnut is asking 'sup?

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant! And I agree, a Sam the Eagle voiceover would have been the red white and blue icing on the cake. But we can imagine it, that's almost as good.

Kelly said...

OMG!!

Sylph said...

[music now fully swollen]

A+++++++++
I need to find a way to use that in conversation.

Isabella said...

SUA: how Yoda abbreviates America? States United of America are...

Anonymous said...

Seriously, the "artist" who made the rockets...either made those very deliberately, or really does not get out much!!

Kashmir said...

The deep fried cupcake made me throw up in my mouth a little.

* shudder *

coeurdechoeur said...

Those "rockets" seem quite...*cough*...rousing.

wv: nowspro - Theses wreckerator are nowspro? More like nowsthrowup.

HellboundAlleee said...

I thought blue, white and red were french colors.

FRANCE!!

Katie said...

I have to join the ranks of those who want to taste a deep-fried cupcake. Just once!

And the giant cupcake isn't really so bad.

Diane said...

Oh God! Laughing so hard tears are squirting from my eyes...
Nice rockets!

Renee H. said...

KAREN is my hero today for her beautiful and inspired lyrics:

"Oh beautiful, for wrecky cakes, for mounds of poo frosting.
For spelling errors, phallic cakes and ev'rything between!
America, America, we wreck our cakes for thee!
We drown the cakes that we have baked in mounds of poo frosting!"

(and yeah, i copy/pasted it for those of you too lazy to scroll up!!)

Amy said...

Deep fried cupcakes? Who's been reading my diary?

And the patriot rockets made me spit coffee onto my desk at school, which brought over Random Male Student to see what was so funny. His response to the "rocket cake"?:

"I think I've seen a movie like that."

(sorry, there were typos all over my first post! lol)

Anonymous Too said...

I'm most disturbed that the blue, ahem, rocket has two red stars rather than a red one and a while one. The other two get all three colors...so much for equality and justice for all!

No, okay, I'm pretty disturbed by the rest of it too. I was going to make a comment about flag burning perhaps being the wrong thing for people to get all up in arms about, and then I realized that if you light candles on these...well then, constitutional amendment, HO!

Kath' Aama said...

Hmmm.... Seems to me a lot of bakers have a yen to work for the sex toy industry.

seyward said...

Is it sad that I think the deep-fried cupcakes sound DELICIOUS?

Maybe it's because I'm now living in Georgia and currently missing the Minnesota State Fair... :(

Marie said...

So when are the "rockets" going off?

Justine said...

Here's some french bread in the same vein as today's last image.
http://www.parisdailyphoto.com/2010/09/magic-wand.html

John said...

BWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*snort* *gasps* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
But wait, is it just me or does the blue "rocket" look...um...non-kosher?

I mean, Labor Day isn't exactly late enough in the year for turtlenecks, and the 4th of July is right out for that for that kind of covering...

Oh well, slice into it anyway! Mazel tov!

Caroline B said...

Bread pudding with frosting? Deep fried cupcakes? For the first time ever, you have made me feel just a little queasy.....but laughing at the last concoction(!) made it go away..

Lulu said...

is it wrong I *desperately* want a deep fried cup-cake despite knowing it will:
a) Make me ill
b) Ruin my calorie watching
c) Make me *very* ill.

:(

Mama Martinez said...

For the love of country, somebody please get that monkey a full coverage kimono!

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Two things I won't be able to get out of my head today: deep-fried cupcakes and phallic rockets.


...OMG. My word verification is "wilywar." So. WRONG.

-French Bean

Linda said...

Ooh, I am going to the state fair this weekend. I need to see if they have deep fried cupcakes.

And the last cake. Very happy rockets!

loisgroat said...

My new favorite quote:
"Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about."
I love it when you make me snork.

Marie said...

What a coincidence. Just read this story about deep-fried beer.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/7973944/Deep-fried-beer-invented-in-Texas.html

Eternal Lizdom said...

This is one of the most hilarious posts I've seen!!

I wonder if Glenn Beck wanted to honor America at his rally with cake? These all look appropriate...

Mrs Mom said...

ROLMAOPIP....

*gasp*

Y'all just ain't right. Funny as all get out now, but y'all just are NOT right!! (Which is why you two have such a following!!)

Keep 'em coming! CAKEWRECKS is the high light of my day!

Anonymous said...

fully swollen

Scotland said...

wow...

deep fried cupcakes... and they are even frosted!

*drool*

And here was me thinking that deep fried pepsi sounds good enough (may also have to try the butter others have mentioned)

vmdesign said...

I'm thinking that last means we know how to "cock it" more than rock it...

Lisa said...

So glad my boss has gone to lunch, I could not stop giggling. Then I started to snicker and had to put down the vanilla yogurt at the sight of the "rockets."

Donkaloosa said...

Why does the monkey have a pig nose?
I won't even comment on the rockets...or their red glare...

Jennifer said...

Thank you Jen for today's cake tribute to all nations... but mostly America! Wreck on!


WV: momonar: my secret power that informs me when my sons are misbehaving!

Michelle said...

I have never wanted cake so bad in all my life.

*sings the national anthem*

Stella said...

So far I read, SUA and dribble. The phallic cupcakes were pretty funny.

Larissa said...

What on earth is with the shape of that bread pudding?

Anonymous said...

Long ago, I used to be really bad about dusting my computer screen. Now I have to clean it all the time due to the amount of soda, spit, or lunch I spew at it when seeing pictures like today's phallic-tastic finale. Thank you for the hilarity and the mess it creates. Wouldn't change a thing. Today special: lasagna splash!

Heidi D said...

Hey! Those rockets look just like castle turrets! :)

D.B. Echo said...

How on Earth could anyone put together that last cake and not think "Hmmm, this looks like three chancre-covered phalluses poking out of this cake"? On top of that, the color order - blue, white, and red - would be appropriate for a FRENCH cake! There's some complicated political commentary on Franco-American relations going on here, that's for sure!

WVW: cyantme. "I got the blues."

Jules said...

*still giggling about the last one* I saw it and heard an announcer in my head say "MAN cake! Now with three times the penis!"


WV=telize. A lot of men have to telize about their manhood, but the chef of the last cake really is three times the size of any man.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am speechless....those are some very patriotic rockets - if you know what I mean....do ya, do ya?

Esty said...

Because nothing says "America" like a cake decorated with red, white and blue man-parts.

Jacobi said...

I think that the last cake was decorated by Lorena Bobbit.

mizdarlin said...

Um...that last one is downright scary...

Origami Slayer said...

Is it just me, or did you hear the whole thing in your head in Stephen Colbert's voice?

Tekoa said...

Rockets? Castle turrets? I can only speculate what the original goal was. Maybe the last cake was from a partiotic adult bakery....*trails off doubtfully*

Lauren said...

I think I'd rather have a cake shaped like a cupcake than a bunch of cupcakes impersonating a cake. So, that one isn't so bad.

But that last one... I almost snorted trying not to laugh out loud.

SteveBrogan said...

I guess you call them "rockets" because this site is rated "G" (Great stuff)

Lisa said...

Oh. My. I don't know which is more disturbing - the "rockets" on the last cake or the creepy flasher monkey. I think the deep fried cupcakes were the best of the bunch!

WV: Holli - "Holli moly those are some scary rockets!"

Del said...

My three year old declared the 'monkey' cake a frog dressed up as a pig. I'm glad she wandered away before the rockets. Anatomy lessons should never be taught with baked goods. Wow.

Sakura Courage Solo said...

... is it bad that I kinda the giant cupcake? Because technically I don't think its TOO wrecky. A few too many plastic stars maybe, but still, overall methinks that one looks kinda... nice? *ducks to avoid being hit by the Deep Fried Cupcakes being thrown at her*

Anonymous said...

I must admit that when I saw the deep fried cupcakes sign I thought that it must have been here in Scotland as we can buy deep fried mars bars in some fish and chip shops! Who knows - it just might be the next big thing here. Imagine a tower of deep fried wedding cupcakes. Mmmm, maybe not.

Jillian said...

Two things....

That SUA/USA donut, I'd totally get down on that. Who doesn't like sprinkles.

And pass the deep fried cupcake, please.

Steve the Pocket said...

*looks at the "rockets"* Fully swollen indeed. Let's hope those bombs don't, um, burst in air.

IN AMERICA!

Joanna said...

I laughed - very loudly, very much out-loud while at home by myself - right as a UPS man walked up to the door.....I think he was a little frightened....

So awesome.

And I think Karen @9:47's song rendition make a FANTASTIC accompaniment to your post!

andygirl said...

where can a girl get those patriotic "rockets"? and do they come with patriotic drizzle?

BADKarma! said...

"Music now fully swollen"... ROFLMAOH...

Isolder74 said...

Deep Fried Cupcakes....

DEEP FRIED CUPCAKES!!!!!


Deeeee..........


There has been an error in the pastry chef operating software. Please reboot.

roman lover said...

Hey that last cake didn't have a plastic cover, where did it's protection go?........
I also vote for Sam the eagle.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Patriotic dildos!!!

JW said...

That's not a stomach...

Laura said...

@Isabella: TOTAL WIN! Hahahahahhahaha!

Wow, those are some special...uh...cakes?

Cupcakes are perfect as is! Stop turning them into CCCs and scary deep fried pops! Gosh!

Anonymous said...

SUA? States United America. I think they were trying to go for the monogram look – yer doin’ it wrong!

The monkey cake kind of reminds me of Steve, the monkey from Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Creepy looking...like he's looking for gummi bears.

Then there's the last cake. I am wiping away tears 'cuz that's so darn funny and so wrong on so many levels. Looks like a picture that goes along with a joke: 3 penises are on a cake, one says to the other “Why so blue?” (Go on...go back & look! It looks like two are turned so they are talking to each other and the other is “blushing” from embarrassment of being put on that cake).

wv: berhingu: I berhingu a cake, but they wrecked it.

Anonymous said...

I just had a horrible thought...what if parts of that last cake were deep-fried?

*shudder*

wv: pyhect: Py? Hect no! I want cake!

Tom said...

I think the USA should SUA that donut shop in the nearest court.

Mom N Mia Quilts said...

"S.U.A" ?!?! Really?! And those "rockets" . . .

Ann said...

With those "rockets" shouldn't this post have a disclaimer?

(both about childern and about drinks leaving your mouth at high velocity thru your nose)

Anonymous said...

Star-bellied Sneetch "rockets". I guess there was more to Dr. Seuss' story...

wv: I was shoun these cakes and I laughed so hard!

~Nikki~ said...

There IS such a thing as too much of a good thing!




check out my blog: www.nikkiscakery.com

Sandi said...

Oh look, it's the extremely rare but not-rare-enough kimono-wearing monkeyfrog!

Adrian said...

Oh sweet lord, the monkey with the American kimono made me laugh uproariously

Aviatrix said...

Wreckerator #2: "Oh I hate it when I have to do lettering. I always spell things wrong. Does anyone know how to spell 'U S A'?"

Last Wreckorator: "Rockets? I'll give you rockets."

Anonymous said...

I love a giant cupcake, as for the rest of them...makes me want to light up some fireworks and sing "God Bless America"

zarchasmpgmr said...

I'm still trying to figure out the shape of the first one. Is it a giant American chicken? A really bad rendition of the Lower 48? I just don't see anything...

Anonymous said...

" Angel H. said... Sorry, I had to do this:

America - F*** yeah!"

Forget that I was cracking up at the cakes and appropriate swelling music....this comment made me fall out of my chair!

Great post. A classic for sure.

gingerzing1967 said...

I can get by the sprinkles. I can move past the monkey (thought it was a pig). I can pass on the spelling issues (of three letters?) I can make the barest mention that deep fried cupcakes is not the weirdest fried thing I have seen at our fair. I can even avoid commenting on the last cake.
However, I am dismayed and distraught by some fool frosting bread pudding. (Second issue is the weird shapes.)

Anonymous said...

Uhmm not sure if those are rockets or something you can get at a passion party and is that MON-PIGGY, couldn't tell

Anonymous said...

How bad is it that I really, really want to try the fried cupcakes?

Anonymous said...

Aviatrix' post reminded me of an old Mash episode where the general said "Rockets, Lots of Rockets!"

The Black Dog said...

"Music now fully swollen"

*Dies laughing*

Fluffy Cow said...

The last one. Wow.

Tish said...

I for one, would pay nearly any amount of money to get that monkey "flasher" cake with one of those "rockets" from the last strategically attached... TOO FUNNY!!! Awesome post!

Amy said...

Can't stop laughing -- this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Forget the apple pie, nothing says SUA like Mom, baseball, and wrecky cakes!

Anonymous said...

This is a great post - had me guffawing, especially at the monkey. And I can't believe the bakery actually labeled the cake box "patriotic drizzle". Is that a technical term?

StefRobrts said...

SUA really had me stumped. I mean, really? USA? When you SAY it you SPELL it! Come on people!

Anonymous said...

That last cake is where you get "patriotic" drizzle lol Yeah I took that too far. Don't Care.

Heather said...

if the rockets don't go away after 4 hours, you should call your doctor.

Anonymous said...

I'm kind of curious about the deep fried cupcake, although I suspect it's pretty similar to the deep friend Twinkie I had at the LA Fair and the deep friend 3 Musketeers bar I had at the OR state fair.

I didn't think that flag thing on the monkey looked like a kimono. It looks more like a cape to me, which the monkey is inexplicably wearing under the arms instead of over the shoulders. Frankly, the most disturbing thing in the whole post is the monkey's pig snout and frog legs. Paging Dr. Moreau . . .

wv: buyersi - the sickness in which a buyer sees how an order became a wreck but purchases it anyway in order to submit it to Cake Wrecks.

Julia said...

That last cake certainly makes me think of "pride"...but not of the patriotic sort.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I heard it all in Stan Freberg's voice. If you haven't heard his "United States of America, Vol. 1 and 2", you need to check it out.

"I'll just run it up the flagpole, see if anyone salutes..."

Pastry Tracy said...

I had the Team America theme playing in my head the whole post....

Anonymous said...

Oh.
Oh, my.

And the build-up to the, um, climatic pic was masterly.

*wipes forehead*

OK have now laughed enough to skip the sit-ups tonight - thank you :)
Tessa

Mina said...

After following this blog, I have come to the conclusion that there should be a mandate against recreating any cylindrical, pointed object in cake and frosting. Space shuttles, turrets, rockets. See, frosting just doesn't POINT very well, does it? What you end up with are porno-carbs at a bakery near you. (Course, it makes for great comic relief on-line!)

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

macgilroy said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Lindsey said...

Glad I'm not the only one to notice this:

The use of the word "swollen" right before the last photo was sheer comedic genius. It planted the awful thought in my mind right before the big reveal. :)

You're awesome!

Anonymous said...

I thought the first one was a very patriotic chicken.

Anonymous said...

I just came!

Anonymous said...

I just came!

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing so hard I just about pee'd my pants!!!!

Mark Heil said...

I thought patriotic drizzle was a description of a Teabagger event ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oh my. Oh... my....

Rock it. You did not just say that.

SUA??? Honestly, SUA??? This is NOT a mongram of epic proportions, people.

Though in retrospect, speaking of epic proportions, I have to say I LOVE the HUGE cupcake.

On the other end of the spectrum - iced bread pudding? What addlepated brain came up with that idea?

I also thought once people started deep frying Twinkies, hope died. For anything.

*sigh*

~~Di

Wolvie Girl said...

@Shaz, I saw the same thing as you. All together now - Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Our patriotism doesn't "swell" quite as much as the average American's, :D

@JW - ...it's a space station.

Maura said...

Bwahahahaha!!!

"Star" shaped bread pudding (???) and patriotic "rockets" FTW!!!

of sage and sepia said...

These just keep getting better and better! I was snorting at the "SUA" donut (what's up with that god-awful taupe icing) and then got to the "rockets". Hmmm, nothing says 'Merica like 3 leaning penises. Wait, they come with stars??

Anonymous said...

Heh. I've eaten a deep-fried mars bar before. It was yummy.

mn_me said...

At the MN State Fair (going on as we speak thru Labor Day) you can get just about any kind of food deep-fried and served on a stick - surprised I haven't heard of deep-fried cupcakes till now. And while they don't have frosting on the outside, they seem to have some kind of goodies inside to make up for it...

That said, I think the first picture is supposed to be a heart shape, but that's totally a guess. I kinda like the super-sized cupcake too. The SUA takes the "cake", so to speak. How awful is that?

Can't for the life of me figure out why bread pudding requires frosting of any kind. And then what can be said about patriotic drizzles? on rice krispie bars no less???

The creature is almost unidentifiable. Even a monkey couldn't hold on to anything with those arms!!

And then there's the "rocket" cake. I had to scroll past that really quick at work. OMG. didn't want someone to think I was looking at a some bad website!

Addie

Bree said...

I think some of these decorators picked the wrong line of work. Judging by that last cake, they clearly should go into anatomy.

The giant cupcake isn't bad. At least it's just one cupcake. Can you imagine a CCC that size?

America! Where we are free to decorate as badly as we want to!

Single Dad Laughing said...

Haha, that last picture is beyond priceless!

Single Dad Laughing

Riley said...

...we know how to rock it.

... And that would involve cock rock?

Great post, guys.

morriganscrow said...

The last cake had me breaking into a rousing rendition of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", with drizzle patriotically bursting left, right and center, and much more than the music fully swollen....

....and I'm an Australian!

Blooming Mama said...

OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!!! The "rockets"...seriously hilarious!

Anonymous said...

The only thing those "rockets" are missing are some "sparks" coming out of them....ewww!

Anonymous said...

so that last one was supposed to be rockets??? Cuz I saw something MUCH different and profane.
I also really wanna try a deep fried cupcake!

KellyRed said...

If we can only get deep fried "rockets"...

Mama Wild Bear said...

My mind boggled at the "rocket" cake. The thought process went something like this...
"What the heck are those multi-colored penises doing on that cake? No... surely not. But what could they be? I know, someone will have posted in the comments... ah... rockets, of course! Maybe... Nope, definitely penises. Quite well done too. Maybe it's not a wreck at all. Maybe it's a cake male exotic dancer party."

Anonymous said...

could not stop laughing XD

Lori said...

Ok, so I really thought that first cake looked like a banana. I mean, a colorful banana, but still a banana. I guess I'm weird.

Also, the rockets...yea. So not the first thing I saw.

VeganWitch said...

The music isn't all that is "swollen"...

LOL!

BootsMcGraw said...

Rocket cakes....

Heh. I just sprained a giblet, laughing. You must be 18 to eat this cake!

wv: ousherc. The noise I made after laughing continuously at these wrecks for the last ten minutes.

Dina said...

Ohhh that's just sad...I'm glad we know how to spell an abbreviation of our own nation...

shikishinobi said...

Okay! Being Australian, I can see a lot of these color codings rocking up here too, and for some reason, the idea is more scary than I need. Phallic cupcakes and over-sized ego-centric cupcakes. What am I going to do if they invade our lands? Eat them? Feed them to the less fortunate. Anything to get rid of them!

mystic_eye_cda said...

These cakes are not nerdy enough. I am sick of your non-nerdy posts, I am never coming back

Harumph !!

/Sarcasm

Those were truly awesome, and I love you guys! I don't know what's funny the drizzle label or the rockets.

Oh and you know what they had at the fair here (and I presume other places) deep fried.... BEER! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww hot beer.

Lisa said...

(Music now fully swollen)
Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah!!!

toledonative said...

Well, my first thought, upon seeing the SUA donut was - hey! my alma mater! You see, I went to a high school called St. Ursula Academy...SUA. So maybe, just maybe there's a rational explanation?

I got nuthin' for the rest of 'em. Deep fried cupcakes? I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

Susan B

Maru said...

America is SPRINKLICIOUS.

Nona said...

Those rockets remind me of something else! :)
What a speller on the donut!

Jennifer said...

S-U-A! S-U-A! S-U-A! The greatest country in the world!

medrecgal said...

OMG...I just about wet my pants laughing from this post. The "rockets" (if that's what they want to call them) were positively hilarious. Perhaps the "SUA" doughnut maker was a tad dyslexic? (How else could you mess up such a simple abbreviation...LOL!) Keep that funny coming!

Connie said...

Ha ha! Rock out with your co......
Oh, nevermind...can't believe no one posted that yet! LOL

Allison said...

I can't think about celebrating America without this Hugh Laurie song popping into my head:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyHSjv9gxlE

Anonymous said...

Anonymous in Canada
Just wanted you to know that after hinting for months I had to go out and buy your book myself. Then I discovered a new hazard in life: reading Cakewrecks while brushing my teeth. I just about choked, but went to bed happy. Thanks for the memories!

Liz F. said...

We should be thankful the last one doesn't have any patriotic sperm balloons!

Jennie said...

"Touch my monkey! Touch iiiit!"

Life needs a random generator that spouts the phrase "Now is the time on Sprokets when we dance" at unexpected moments.

Anonymous said...

Julie @ 10:16-- "the color makes me think of guys who would paint themselves at football games. Maybe they paint ALL of themselves!"

With college football starting this Saturday, I feel compelled to thank you for that little ponderable.

--kate

Anonymous said...

Was just given my green card today
...after seeing this lot I think I'll give it back.

Christine said...

1. That first cake is clearly a chicken, which is what all American food strives to taste like.

2. Leaning towers of flesh are molto Italiano, obvs. And I think you guys know your Italian. (Too soon?)

Arlene said...

Deep fried cupcakes?? Oh man would I love to try one of those they looked good lol. As for that evil, vile CCC stomach = bleh! And they couldn't write USA on a doughnut correctly?? These wreckerators need to go back to school pronto. As for that last cake.. ahem lol made me think such evil thoughts that I can't help but be proud that America stands..erm tall lol.

Anonymous said...

We need this as a youtube clip RIGHT NOW!

Vicki said...

I think I dated the blue rocket for awhile.

Craig said...

I could choose to be offended, but I choose instead not to be. Nauseated, yes. Offended, no.

With that out of the way...

#1 That's it -- we need a CCC (patooie!) ban in the very next bill that Congress passes. I don't care what else the bill does, it has to get rid of things like this.

#2 I think they were going for a 'triangle' effect in a very small, toroidal space. Geometry, we hardly knew ye. I like doughnuts too much to let this visual put me off them, but it's an effort of will.

#3 At last -- a cupcake cake that doesn't suck. Well, not much.

#4 IV Pepto, stat!

#5 I wouldn't have associated 'Spud Shack' and 'dessert', but this works, somehow. The way the oil and icing combine looks entirely... easy to pass up.

#6 'Munchie' probably isn't the ideal product name, though it may indirectly help explain the appearance. Now to attempt to wrap my brain around the concept of having 'Nutrition Facts' on iced marshmallow squares... Maybe each table entry says, "You must be kidding."

#7 Another smiley-face nose mutation. When will we start seeing smiley faces on other body parts? Forget I asked -- I *really* don't want to know where this trend is going.

#8 Speaking of unfortunate trends... Mother of Pearl! (I hope Pearl isn't offended -- that's just a family-friendly exclamation.) Three cheers for the... blue, white and red? I can't believe that change.

Flotsam should be allowed for rocket nosecones and castle turrets, just to keep them from turning into man cannons.

By the way, I nominate R. Lee Ermey for the voice-over.

Craig said...

Sorry to double-post, but I just got a close-up look at the bread pudding (and my eyes and brain are still arguing over who made who look).

This could be the culinary equivalent of Vogon poetry.

Sold by the pound?! 'Automatic Price Reduction' indeed -- it should be, 'Automatic Refund'. Note the 'Honey Nut Coleslaw' above it. Who runs this establishment -- Mrs. Cropley?

Julie said...

Team America for the win!

(Ahem) HECK YEAH!

deltoncraft said...

Loved it. Well written and the "fully swollen" music - priceless.

Anonymous said...

OMG! O!M!G! o.m.g. its 3 letters! 3 letters!!! U.S.A. That's it! How can you NOT get it right!?! You LIVE IN IT. Oh the HUMANITY!!!

Knit Wit said...

The deep fried cupcake made my arteries harden. Then I saw the rockets...

Thank you from the depth of my heart for making me laugh so hard I'm crying! :-)

WV: "stersant" I stersant it but still can't believe it.

Danielle said...

While reading this post, all I could think was:

*sings* Aaaaamericaaaaaa...Spread your golden wingssssss...

:)

Elizabeth said...

No wonder we of the non-USA developed world are so...grateful...for deep-fried cupcakes and, er, rockets. Because violence is much more acceotable than s%x.

Elizabeth said...

Jen, have been trying to submit a wreck...but there is a clash between Outlook and Word (no idea whose won't talk to whose), is nthere any other way to get photos to you? Thanks

ladyrazorsharp said...

With the exception of the big cupcake (which was a little busy but on the whole looked okay), wow. I've never been so...proud to be an American. I think.

I mean, I live in the land of the deep fried cupcake. What more can you say? Gets you right there. In your main artery.

Rachel H. said...

Did you notice that the Patriotic Bread Pudding had an "Automatic Price Reduction" on it's little plaque?

mystic_eye_cda said...

@Elizabeth,

You could put them up on Flickr or whatever and just e-mail the link

Not that I, errr, speak for this website or any thing.

Anonymous said...

i see a smiley face on the monkey!

Heather said...

OK, let's get the music a diuretic to take the swelling down... and someone call Trojan and let them see the last cake... I'm thinkin' "new prophyllactic design... with stars... for her pleasure!"

Shawnette said...

That was amazing. Thank you.

WV: capoth: Thine humor hath no capoth, but instead floweth overeth into-ith mine cupeth of joy. Eth.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to comment on the SUA one. In some romance based languages, USA is actually spelled SUA and roughly translates to States United of America.

So that one may just be written by or for someone for whom English is a second language.

msyendor said...

SU-Ay, SU-Ay, oh, oh! We gotta blow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

WV: thickked -- arteries just thickked at the through of cupcakes. Deep fried. Onna stick. With deep fried beer.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 217   Newer› Newest»