Hey, look! Cake!
Dashes make everything better -
...as I'm sure Queen J agrees.Don't you hate it when there's that one really looong word in your inscription?
[shaking fist] Darn you, "happybirth!" Why do you have to be such a long, difficult-to-break-up word?!?Of course when you do split up long words, knowing where to make the break is key:
In this case, placing "grounn" and "dhog" on separate lines just makes good, old fashioned sense. You know, kind of like cocaine in Coca-Cola. Or leeches.'Course, if you play your cards right, then you won't have to break up any words:
[squinting seriously] "Now that's strategery."Of course, when you have an oddly shaped cake strategic thinking is a must:
See how the baker left off the edge dots where the letters hang over? [tapping temple] Smarts, man. Smarts.
Nadine, Justine J., Krista M., Kevin H., P.K., Erin P., I wrote a short speech to thank you all for your contributions. [ahem hem hem]
"
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62 comments | Post a Comment
I hope Courney is a typo.... Poor girl if it isn't.
Besides all of the usual horrible things about those cakes... Cake #2 has GREY icing on the border???? Grey??? I mean, seriously, who ever heard of decorating a cake with grey icing? At the very least, it looks rancid.
It's a great way to start m
y morning ... chuckling thro
ugh your observati
ons. I enjoy your co
mmments a lot! :)
The last cookie cake seems to be wishing "Courney" a happy day.
WV: wilikeli
"willy nilly's" long lost cousin. These wreckerators wrote on the cakes all wilikeli!
Strategery ehh? Reminds me of something I read in a webcomic that I wouldn't post in mixed company...
wv: schbit - A Lot of these cake wrecks really look like schbit.
A few of these would have better spacing if they'd just turn down the dial on the size of the piping. Geeeze. What are they writing with, a tube of toothpaste?
Then again, that could explain the minty blue and spearmint green ones...
I was just thinking of this yesterday while I was decorating my 5 year old's birthday cake. The words weren't perfectly centered, but at least I didn't do anything like this (well, the "y" in birthday was a little close to the edge).
Seriously, it would be nice if they'd issue a spelling test, and maybe a spatial relations test to cake decorators. Though cakewrecks wouldn't be nearly as funny that way. :)
These are professionally-made cakes?
Golly.
Hey, I saw a grounn dhog just Tuesday!
Grey icing? Why, why, why?
What amazes me about "Courney"'s "cake" is the fact that the wreckorator had to go BACK over the inscription a second time with the white icing.
Which certainly is proof of premeditated strategery, if you ask me.
Who knew that "Krista" was such a hard name to spell correctly? But at least she got all of her letters, unlike poor "Courney."
Looks like someone couldn't wait to get to the Reunio -n to sample the cake
These actually had me chuckling at my desk! I totally lost it at GROUNN DHOG! Good thing my boss is in his office!
I love that Grounn DHog would have fit without the second n in Grounnd. :)
Is 'Wol' from Winnie the Pooh now decorating cakes?
her name sounds like corn-y?? hope they forgot the "t"
I want me some GRAY IC-
ING!!!!
http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com
There's cocaine in leeches?
WV:proxi
What these Wreckers are to capable decorators.
I think the reunio-n cake decided to split before it embarrassed itself. Or because it did? I love the piece on the right trying to make a break for it.
Happybirthday... really? One word? *snort*
Grounn dhog... is this a strange brown dog?
Totally not sure if the toothpaste for the 70 yr old is a comment
-ary? Or did it need to be neon glow-int -he -dark?
Poor Courney... albeit appropriate ,-) Dang heart shaped cookies, anyway!
Short speech -- " ??? *snicker*
~~Di
wv - diggimm!!!
Boob Nazi - I laughed out loud when I saw "Courney!" Like this: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The End.
Oh, my! I think the icing on #2 is supposed to be mocha. Like a light chocolate. Though what they did to it to get it that color.....
What is up with the horrible penmanship? I don't care if they spelled everything correctly, I'd be mad if the cake I picked up looked like that!
Even aside from the bad spacing and fat lettering (whatever happened to the piping tips with thin holes?) what's with the random lettuce leaves on the first cake?
And poor QueenJ, not only is her name messed up but it looks like they made the border out of drywall mud.
Apparently we don't teach hyphenation in schools anymore, along with cursive writing.
NAPPV Reunio-n
What's up with the random green squiggles on the pastel poo rounds on Que-enJ's cake?
Red and white flowers for GROUNN
DHOG DAY? Really?
Does the first cake say "Nappy Reunio-n"? Nappy might explain things a bit better...at least make some sen-
se.
Linda K.
Not only is Courney an unfortunate name, so is Kirstd!
It's called spacing! Why can't they pre-plan their writing before they do it? LOL
check out my blog: www.nikkiscakery.com
Maybe these cakes were done on take your child to work day... All of them...maybe...its possible
karenNY
I bet CourTney wishes her name really didn't have that "T" in the middle... then this cake would have been PERFECT...
*wink*
OK...Happybirth day is the same thing as saying, Happy Labor Day to someone who's pregnant. You know, "Have a happybirth!"
The rest of it, I'll just have to sing:
...Handwriting horrors, what did that say?
Leaning tiers to ruin your wedding day.
Mickey Mouse, flash drive, not enough space,
Carrot jockeys all over the place.
....celebrity creepy, letters not straight,
What did you expect, he's not the
Ace of Cakes!
Singin'
We will, we will wreck you!
We will, we will wreck you!
Sharon's Edible Art
Yup. It's a stragedy all right. :)
Okay, we need to have this awful cakes being made so that we have this wonderful site. But how can any bakery let those WREAKS out of the backroom let alone out the main door. Golly how can they keep their jobs, are there no bosses overseeing the work. Oh well, its sure gives us fans a great laught to start the day. Thank-you!
I love this blog. I've lurked forever. Thought about posting 100 times, but never did. My extreme passion for cake has now taken over...
Everything about Queen J's cake has me clawing my face skin off. Beginning to end! From whipping "icing" to horrid candle placement and color coordination! I'm also willing to bet it started with a yellow cake.
I've never said this about a cake before...I don't want to eat it. I want to KILL it!!
@ drgns4vr: You're right, the icing does look like drywall mud! Mmmmmm, chalky.
"Strategery" - heh heh. Thank you, Will Ferrell, for that one. (For those that don't know, look up his old SNL skit as Dubya).
I like the toxic green ooze coming from the "balloons" on the Queen J cake... it kind of drew my eyes away from the horrible handwriting.
happy birthday courney?? thats hilarious.
OMG, what is that weird green snaky-looking worm-ish thing on the second cake? eeeeeeeek!
Happy Grounn Dhog Day?
Don't ice angry!
Strategery is one of my favorite SNL words/skits ever. Strategery + Cake Wrecks = one great combo!
I laughed so hard at this I spilled hot tea all over my lap! Genius!! -Jenn
Rob W.: Your leeches comment made me LOL!
This isn't really related to today's post, but it is very related to Cake Wrecks.
Today's weather forecast: Mostly cloudy with scattered sprinkles...
Oh, no, not the dreaded scattered sprinkles.
It occurs to me that all of these cakes could have been fixed with smaller lettering. :P
hmmm, I thought I was the only person on earth who actively celebrates Groundhog Day... I mean... Grounn Dhog Day...
I used to love getting hand made with love greeting cards from my 5 year old just like this. Maybe bakeries are now dropping cakes off at the nearest kindergaarten for that final touch. In fact some of the previous posts confirm this - including dropping off....
Norine
I bet they just spaced that horrible cookie cake's wording that way to distract from their inability to spell Courtney. It was camouflage. Yeah, that's it.
I feel bad for Que-enJ, Kirstd, and Courney. Those names must have consequences that reach much further than cake.
I saw a cake for you guys today but I didn't have a camera with me. FAIL for me. WIN for Boys & Girls Clubs of Grand Rapids since they got a nice cake dripping with caramel. I mean a white cake with a FLOW of caramel on it-- like a brown glacier leaving an irregular dent in the cake on its way to flowing over the sides and SQUISHING AGAINST THE PLASTIC COVER. That much caramel... on a white cake with little white dollops. ...why?!?!
people who write like me should not be decorators
Dashes and gashes. Did somebody elbow that first cake?
WV: iniff - I've had just about iniff of these disastrous cakes!
Tee hee...
Strategery, ha! Did you see the Man V Food episode where he's eating some frightening 16ish-patty cheeseburger in some place like Boston and this stupid blonde college girl comments that his eating tactics were, "Good strategery?" Maybe she works at one of these bakeries.
@Esty, isn't cursive writing what too many people see spray-painted on walls?
#1 When you write the first (and smaller) of two words and find that it takes up half the cake, that ought to be a clue that the rest ain't gonna fit. That's where our friend, Mr. Scraping Knife, comes in, accompanied by lots of 'cursive' language.
#2 The border looks like glazier's putty. For that great linseed oil taste that people crave! Once the border was decided on (and the drugs really kicked in), the rest sort of followed.
#3 Yes, nothing says 'happybirth day' like gray roses.
#4 'GROUNN DHOG' is the correct spelling and parsing on Mars, which is also where the observance originated.
#5 This may explain what has been happening to the fireflies -- they're being captured and used to produce glow-in-the-dark green icing. Just the thing for your '70' birthday.
#6 As with #2, I'm getting a strong 'hardware' vibe. This one appears to have been piped with a caulking gun. Continuing that theme, the surface beneath the inscription (in the few places it can be seen) appears to be burled walnut. This isn't a cake, it's a plaque! So that's the trouble: instead of home ec, the order went to shop class!
I can't brain right now these cakes have struck me dumb.. lol what the heck are these wreckerators on thinking that doing that to cakes?? Maybe they figure people would be so happy for cake that they wouldn't care if it even had a bad word on it which I am sure you could find a wreck that did somewhere lol.
Well, I'm sure 'Kirstd' enjoied her cake, despite the fact her wreckerator can't spell, or even write.
Clearly, what we need is a computer-style icing. If you make a mistake, you can just press backspace, change the text size and try again. It would even come with spellchecker. The only downside is we wouldn't have as much to laugh at.
hahahah that's awesome. i would be so pissed if i had to pick one of those up from the store.
Okay, the lettering on Queen J's cake is bad, but what's up with the tangle of balloon strings in the corner? How hard is it to make a straight line attached to a glob of frosting? I think even I could do that.
Happy Birthday "Courney"? Corny?! What kind of name is that?!
I bet these people don't plan ahead for their vacations either!
These are phenomenal. Plus they remind me of my daughters homework.
I hope Cour
ney enjoys h
er happybirth
day..
.
I feel so
rry for an
ybodywho has
to end
ure one of theseca
kes.
I know it's been said, but these are professional (as in remuneration has been paid for services) cake decorators?!
I'll bet Que-
en J was really glad they didn't get an amat-eur to do her cake. How disapp-
ointing would that have been!?!