Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dueling Disasters

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Note: Press play and start scrolling!


Banjo #1: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...


Banjo #2: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...

Now this one.


Banjo #1: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...


Banjo #2: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...


YEEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!





Banjos #1 & #2 ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding


ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Ding.


Hey, Cindy S. and btchelicious: Bada ding ding ding.
Jenniffer said...

Tonight on a very special "Dukes of Hazzard"... the Duke boys get married!

Jules AF said...

This was probably one of my favorite posts ever.

SaRa said...

Today's post is the total awesomeness!

What a great way to start my work day.

Thank you Cake Wrecks.

RachelD said...

Where's Tom Arnold when you need him?

Lisa said...

I'm terrified by the Bud Light cake. It actually looks well made, but God is it tacky.

Anonymous said...

Wow.

I'm a newbie to South Carolina, but I'm pretty sure that everyone I've met in my new Southern home would have a problem with these cakes not being front and center on your Sunday Sweets. (dueling banjos and all)

The mud splattered cake is definitely a technical masterpiece, and from the nearby treads in the sand it looks like the reception is at a dirt-bike / atv (track? range? Whatev) so props on keeping up the theme.

Though as a Yankee, I'm not sure I'll ever understand why we can't find another way to express Southern pride than through using the confederate flag. Even if people don't mean it this way, lots of us read confederate flags as racist. It's a knee jerk reaction maybe, but there it is.

Fluffy Cow said...

Can't... stop... laughing....

LoriK said...

Is it really a wreck if the couple got exactly what they asked for?

Krista said...

Excellent post. What saddens me is the Bud Light cake is quite well executed, for a skeezy, scary theme. Good baker, bad bride.

XTrail DayTripper said...

OMG! Is this what cousins choose when they marry each other?

Thanks for this post. I really needed it today.

Keeley said...

Is that bride pregnant?? Too much Sundrop before the wedding, obviously. Too bad she can't blame it on the alcohol...

WV: exampe--these are an exampe of how not to make a wedding cake. This is also a good exampe of an interactive post. Love it.

Reverend Ref + said...

@Jennifer:

Best.

Comment.

Ever!!!

Angela R. said...

That was awesome! I love how the beer can tier supports on the bottom cake are smushed like half an inch down from the weight of the other tiers. I also agree that the second cake was executed rather well with all things considered.

Anonymous said...

Is that some sort of AWARD for the cakes in the 4th picture?


WV: townsing: what the town will do when all of the wrecky bakers are rolled out of town.

Anonymous said...

Klassy!

Cassie Williams said...

Thanks for the laugh...I needed it this morning!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that one cake says "One (something I can't read) Race."
Yikes!!!

JW said...

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding DIIIIING! :)

That means I like it.

Anonymous said...

Thanks.....now I'm going to be humming "Dueling Banjos" all day, and in my part of Texas, that's a wee bit dangerous.

Unknown said...

OH MY GOODNESS Jen I love you! really really I do. It makes me sad we are both already happily married... and that you live so far away. because I think we need to get do Tea sometime. <3

Constance said...

It is apparent to me that the problem with these cakes is not the skill of the decorator, but the taste level (or lack thereof) of the bride(s) and groom(s).

And, yes, I'm a lifelong resident of the South.

WV:ingestie - I'd ingestie that cake, hold the Bud Light.

Kate said...

Why is there poop on that wedding cake?!?!

http://arguingwithadoughnut.blogspot.com/

lolabel said...

The saving grace is that one cake appears to be pooping all over the confederate flag...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Words fail me....let's just say I am glad I live in the West!

Anonymous said...

I am from the South (Appalachian Mtns, actually, so not only am I a Southerner, I'm a hillbilly as well), but I've lived in the north for several years now. These cakes are a perfect example of *exactly* why people think all Southerners/Hillbillies marry our cousins, have no teeth, and still use an outhouse. Thanks, brides, for perpetuating the stereotype. Good Lord. I need a drink, and it needs to be stronger than Bud or Sundrop.

EG said...

The confederate flag one is really well done, actually. If you're into that sort of thing.

Unknown said...

You know... it's okay to say "Redneck". It's alright. I give you permission. You can say it. Go ahead. Redneckiest is also an adjective. (Or is it an adverb?) Remember, it's not "Ain't got no" it's "Ain't got any." Ain't no is a double negative and improper Englush.

jen bryner said...

the posts are so much more fun when you get to interact like that! love it love it love it!!! i'm making today a B.A.D. day... :)

Jennifer said...

This is by far the funniest post y'all have ever put together. I can not believe that someone, much less two people, put a confederate flag on a cake.

Anne said...

the cake says RACE and then April 30, 2010. Not sure if Race is the bride's or groom's name, or the name of the wedding local.

Darling One said...

I pretty sure the inscription on the Sun Drop cake has a date across it - it definitely ends with 2010 (NOT the word "one"). When I saw the word RACE, I immediately thought NASCAR...but now I'm a little afraid it might be someone's name.

Mama Wrench said...

Oh boy -- bring on the kissin' cousins, racist hick, illiterate Republican comments! *eye roll*

I think the Bud cake is actually kida cute AND well-executed. I wish the chocolate "mud" looked a little neater, it looks like it was just kinda splurted on there way too thickly... but otherwise it's really kinda sweet (besides the beer cans). And no, I don't go muddin', I'm a college grad, I have all my teeth, I only drink wine and my husband and I are completely unrelated.

ania said...

Hilarious. You are all so creative.

The second cake (the mud boggin' one) was well executed!

I mean, if someone wanted that particular design, I think the baker/decorator did an excellent job.

Ohh!! You should do that! Cakes requests that are really shabby, but the baker/decorator does a really good job anyway! You know, a little redemption for the good-humored but slightly-put-out decorators who enjoy your blog.

Anonymous said...

That was the funniest thing ever, and I really needed it today, thank you!

Katie said...

I live in rural Iowa and camouflage weddings/cakes are probably fairly common (although I've never been to one) since hunting is big around here, but wow.

I didn't mind being called a hick until today. :P

Anonymous said...

On the SunDrop cake is the groom sitting on a toilet?

The Bitter Mistress said...

Holy crap on a cracker! After I was done choking on my coffee and screaming with laughter, I called 3of my friends and told them, "YOU HAVE GOT TO GET TO CAKE WRECKS!!" They just called back, shrieking hysterically. Expect 3 more loyal readers.

Anonymous said...

The only thing more racist than a Confederate flag is that sign saying "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone". It sets my WASP blood boiling. I must say that much of Cake Wrecks has a southern theme that escapes me. I depend on the comments for clarifucation. Norine

Amanda Mac said...

I'm a Southerner, too. So first I laughed, then was mortified by the cakes. Although I like the Bud cake. Kinda cute. But that Sundrop cake - omg... around here, there's one kind of person you see drinking Sundrop, and it's likely that all of them were at that wedding!

Jennifer Lee said...

Now, now, now. I'm Southern and while I LOVE a good cold Sundrop, I'm not sure I'd want it supporting my wedding cake. BUT, aren't cakes suppose to represent the couple getting married? Don't judge. My sister wore a tie dyed wrap around skirt and was married on a gravel bank of a creek. It was the most beautiful, relaxing, wonderful wedding I've ever been to. We Southerners are happy the way we are.

Rebecca F. said...

Oh J & J, thank you.

Best post yet.

Anonymous said...

I agree with all and sundry who've said it's the taste that's in question rather than the execution. Hoosh.

WV: 'gansi' - sure, that's a gansi lot of manky old bevvie tins.

Lulu said...

Love, love, LOVE this post! I'm smiling from ear to ear! (Can we have musical accompaniment every day? You've spoiled me now...)

Emily said...

I love these play along posts!

You should consider installing a one-way mirror feature too - I'm sure you would enjoy the look of pure horror on my face after I clicked 'YE HAW!' and saw these two cakes in their full glory.

The Single Mama said...

"I'm a newbie to South Carolina, but I'm pretty sure that everyone I've met in my new Southern home would have a problem with these cakes not being front and center on your Sunday Sweets. (dueling banjos and all)"

Wow, anonymous, welcome to the South! Don't worry...I'm sure you'll make a lot of new friends with that attitude!

And THANK GOODNESS y'all explained that it was mud! I wasn't paying enough attention and kept thinking it was a visual representation of a $*%# storm. Wowzers!

NYCGirl said...

That's just what I was wondering, 10:29 am Anonymous.

Julie said...

I really want to see pictures of the whole wedding party for both of these wrecks. My imagination is just running wild.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sweet Merciful Lord....I threw up in my mouth a little

Hilarious post though...you know, aside from the mouth vomit.

embron said...

HA HA ! Ridiculous cakes, but beautifully presented. I very much appreciate the musical accompaniment!

sunflowereyes said...

Yellow tape in the background of the second one? Wha?

Anonymous said...

On the beer can cake, what is all the brown supposed to represent?

Mad in Crafts said...

I hear banjos, I think Deliverance.

Not sure that movie is scarier than these cakes, though.

Ashley R said...

Ahhhh...after brewing water instead of coffee and getting up 28 minutes late, I needed this...thanks so much LOL!!! It's classic.

Miranda said...

*cries*

R2P2 said...

Please, people, save the proselytizing on the Confederate flag for another day. I'm a Southerner, I agree with you, but let's just save it for another time, okay?

That said, this was a FUN post! I think what's interesting is that they are both awesome in two different ways. One is awesomely baaaaaad. Bad bad bad bad bad. One is awesomely Redneck but admittedly well crafted! The bride and groom actually look cute on the top of the 2nd cake.

(fun note: part of my word verification was "ding".)

Unknown said...

I'm not sure which post I love more- this one, or the one where the dog died.

Anonymous said...

The second one even looks like it's being held at a swamp.

Christy said...

ROTFLMAO!!

Cathy said...

Best post since naked Mohawk baby carrot jockeys! And THAT is a compliment.

MamaStarfish said...

Yikes...let's not ignore the groom on what looks like a toilet and the major poo splatter! Brown icing strewn about haphazardly is never a good idea, and even worse on a wedding cake.

Anonymous said...

Congratulate yourselves. This was your best executed post yet!

Redlady said...

Does that first cake (the full shot of it) have something about racing written on the second tier? ROFLMAO That makes it all the more funnier...

Anonymous said...

hmmm these cakes would work well on the tv show seen on CMT Redneck Weddings, Mobile Home Disater, and Trick my Truck.

OtherRobert said...

I give the advantage to the Sun Drop cake for being a fondant-free treat and not being covered in a poo-like substance.

Miss Mindy said...

I just know that you heard the laughter from deep in the heart of Texas. ding ding dingx1000 - too funny! I thought I was fixin' to choke I was laughing so hard.

Hey, y'all! (That means you in the plural sense, in Texan, and I'm talking to my fellow commenters.) Y'all should review the posted note, "What's a Wreck?" Of course these are wrecks, even though they're well-made. Mmm-hm. I do admit that I have cousins who would agitate for these to be Sunday Sweets, and not using their inside voices, but I have to agree with their wreckiness.

zombiekim said...

Question: why Bud LIGHT? Do real Southern men need to watch their figures?
Also, if you still can't get your voucher from the cruise company, definitely take them to small claims court. You can do it yourself, you'll probably win (since they had a verbal contract with you), and if nothing else, the summons will probably annoy them enough that they'll offer you a voucher in exchange for dropping the case. Oh, and it'll feel really good. :)

Justyne said...

These are not badly made cakes at all - especially the muddin' cake! It was very well made for a southern, hillbilly cake! I've lived in TN for 10 yrs now and can see how these cakes come about. YEEEHAAAWWW! Definitely the customer's fault and not the decorator's fault.

Anonymous said...

AWESOME-EST post ever!!!!!!!

Kellie said...

Classy!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I should laugh at the fact that I know people who would get cakes like this (I live in Alabama...it happens), or if I should cry because these cakes do nothing to help ease the stereotype so many have towards the South. Agh! I am so confused!

Unknown said...

My dad is a Southerner, so I feel a strange kinship with these cakes.

IF, mind you, IF I were ever to have a cake with Bud Light tier separators and a fondant Stars-and-Bars, I'd much rather have the 2nd one. The muddy bride and groom are actually rather cute.

The first one...as that great philosopher Maxwell Smart would say: "Missed it by THAT much."

WV: Zahstro: Destro's country cousin.

kbmathgirl said...

The problem is that these two cakes needed to meet each other. The groom in the first cake looks like he might be producing the poop on the second cake....

Anonymous said...

John,
Hysterical post. Music was wonderful, too.
I am not saying anything else.

mocking

Shannon said...

That was AWESOME! LMAO!

Black Phillip said...

Awesome-o post!

Ivannabite2 said...

bitchelicious LOVE IT! Can I use it? :)

Anonymous said...

I love love love the bud lite cake. Id never have it for my own but its so cute. my husband used to work for Anheuser Busch and I'm born and raised in the south. It was very well made and so so cute. but how could anyone NOT know that the brown stuff is MUD not poo?? That I dont understand, its perfectly clear to me.

Anonymous said...

You do realize that the brides at these weddings would probably laugh just as hysterically at a "Trekkie", "Star Wars" or Steampunk cake no matter how well executed? I happened to think that the "mud boggin'" cake with the beer cans was rather cute. I think cakes that are representative of the couple and well executed are way preferable to the boring multi-tiered white wedding themed cake that most people have. I'm from California, have never been to any Southern state, and am a bleeding heart liberal. When I see a Confederate Flag, I think "Southern Pride," not racism. The Civil War wasn't fought simply because the South wanted to keep their slaves. It was way more complicated than that.

And yes, I do realize this is much to serious of a response to a blog such as this. Usually I find this blog really funny, but really, all this post did was make fun of a couple's shared love of a hobby and that they are proud of where they come from. I had a friend who was married in a bookstore and her cake was a large open book. I'm sure there are people who would make fun of that too. Without knowing the couple or their story, some would probably think it was nerdy. Turns out, the couple met while working in that bookstore, and they were both English majors in college.

Sara said...

My 2.5 year old heard the music and came running. She danced and shook her little booty as hard as she could to that song! This goes on my list of all-time favorites, also!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I kind of like these cakes. Feel free to make fun of me too.

Oh, and to all those letter writing/boycotting activists rallying against the cruise line . . . go ahead . . . I mean it's not like there are any actual important things going on in the world that you could spend your time advocating for.

Anonymous said...

It's so sad that the bud light cake was so well executed! It's a tacktastic mess, to be sure, but it's so neatly done :-)

Unknown said...

Wow is all I can say about these wedding cakes right now. Really beer cans with your wedding cake? I guess it's what you wash the cake down with?

What's sad is that these people will reproduce and order cakes such as the following:

Guess What?
Under Neat That
I'm Preggos!
With Blue and Pink With Sprinkles

I see more Wrecks in our futures!! :)

Cory Blystone said...

Is it wrong as a cake decorator that I actually like the idea of using beer and/or soda cans as tier separators? Oh dear God, I'm horrified at my admission!

Brenda said...

OMG! The sound effect addition made ALL the difference....I don't know whether to laugh or cry over these, but at least I'm a Yankee
:-)

Anonymous said...

Long time reader, first time commenter. Best. Post. Ever. Tears are literally streaming down my face as I read the commentary and click on the sound link.

Thank you, Cake Wrecks!

AnnaB said...

Paddle faster...I hear banjos!

I grew up in a small SC town where I know a few people who would actually consider these appropriate and would most certainly use them at their weddings. Scary, I know. (Thankfully, they are not in my circle of friends. Being a small town, it's hard not to know them).

Needless to say, I got out of Dodge right after graduation!

WV: ulistati - a close relative of the ukelele, which is used with (you guessed it) BANJOS!

Anonymous said...

To: The Single Mama,

I just want you to know that I wasn't trying to be offensive. I really meant it that my Southern friends here would want those to be Sunday Sweets. Like someone else pointed out, there are Star Trek & steampunk wedding cakes on the sweets, so why not those? (I put it in a joking manner, so I get why you might have thought I was disparaging everyone I've met here.)

And, aside from the fact that confederate flag decorations and drinking Bud aren't my cup of tea (so to speak), as I pointed out in my comment, the mud cake was really well done.

One of the things I like best about living in the South is that most Southerners have a good sense of humor about being 'country.'

Again, didn't mean to offend, and the South has lots going for it. Some of my best friends are from the South! ; )

BigMomma said...

This reminds me of when the clans would come down for their monthly visits to the walmart. Good times in the south...

Number 4 said...

I have a different take on the Confederate flag since
hearing Percival Everett's “The Appropriation of Cultures.” on Selected Shorts
http://beta.wnyc.org/shows/shorts/2009/feb/15/

Danger Boy said...

1) Love the post. Well bowled.
2) Some of the wreckiest cakes yet...WTF were they thinkin'?

Anonymous said...

First, this was an awesome post!

Not that anyone cares, but I have to get this off my chest: Here, and on other sites that allow comments, it never fails that someone will take the blogger to task for "making fun of" or "stereotyping" a culture, an ethnic group, a language, a species of fish, etc. (You know who you are.) The next time you're tempted to post such a comment, please ask yourself the following questions:
1. Was the blogger referring specifically to ME?
2. Have I been elected as the official spokesperson for the group/language/species of fish that is the topic of this post?

If you cannot answer "Yes" to both, then please...JUST SHUT UP!

Thank you.

Normie

Anonymous said...

Okay, the beer and the confederate flag, fine. But what's with the mud splatters? Is it a nod to off-road racing or something? I just DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Craig said...

For a minute, I thought there might be a continuation of a previous theme. Thankfully, it's just mud.

Isn't it great when people can be proud of their heritage AND have fun with it, even when others would deny them the right to one or both?

PC police: have some cake and laugh a little. Surely you remember how; just let it out. Isn't that why we're here?

WitchyMel said...

@MamaStarfish So I wasn't the only one that was wondering why the bride and groom and then the cake was covered in $}{*+ and why the other cake topper looks like the grooom is sitting on the crapper, taking one.

@Anonymous 1:44 Perhaps you have not had your first cup of coffee yet this morning, or perhaps you have and it was bad, or perhaps you don't drink coffee... but geeez lighten up. If you cannot laugh at yourself, then everyone else will.

Oh and I see 3 reasons why these should NOT be on Sunday Sweets:

1. The one cake looks like it's covered in POO, not mud.

2. The groom on that cake topper looks like he's taking a.. well I've already coverd that.

3. There are beer cans where cake tier supports should be.

It might be a #cute factor for some, but not enough to be sweet. Just... tacky. (get it, sweet=sugar=sticky=tacky? Huh?? Huh???? no? just me...? ok then.)

In fact, some might feel theme cakes for weddings are tacky.

Comparing an open wedding cake, ceremony held in a bookstore to these is like comparing the Sarah Brightman to Bjork.

I suppose it's all relative to a persons taste.

That being said, I've lived in S. Cal since I was 12, over 20 years...

...what the heck is Sundrop?

Trevor said...

@Modern Male Hommaker:

You need to turn in your tips right now! I'm turning you in for that admission! :)

Kat said...

@ Brenda
"What's sad is that these people will reproduce and order cakes such as the following:

Guess What?
Under Neat That
I'm Preggos!
With Blue and Pink With Sprinkles

I see more Wrecks in our futures!! :)"

Based on the appearance of the "SunDrop" bride, they already had that cake about 5 months BEFORE the one in this post. Heh.

And y'all just keep the comments comin' bless your hearts. If there's one thing real Southern Folk are good at, it's laughing at ourselves. Now let's all have some iced tea and just enjoy the cakes y'hear?

Jeanette said...

That was awesome. The music even made my screaming 9 month old stop. If only it'd work on a loop and not drive me crazy :) But besides the music...awesome wrecks!

Morgan said...

Funny!! Thanks for always being good for a laugh ... You are a good giggling part of my day :)

Esty said...

I so wish we could see the bride's (standing behind cake 1) face. Happy? Horrified? Disappointed? Outraged? The possibilities are endless. I know how I'd feel, but then I wouldn't have ordered any of those cake "aspects" in the first place...

LoriK @9:46am: please try to remember the definition of a wreck - anything Jen (or in this case, John) says is a wreck.

Kaaren said...

That was great and horrific! the second cake would actually have been really cute...you know, without the beer cans.

Unknown said...

Holy crap, I was soooooooo not prepared for the full cakes!!!

Shannon said...

That is a gross misuse of Sundrop. It's cruel to waste what others can't have.
(psst, soda bottlers- bring Sundrop to DC! I'll keep you in business forever!)

ViolaNut said...

The funniest thing, to me, is that my sister wanders around "ding"ing dueling banjos rather frequently, and the date stamp on the pic is her birthday. Scary.

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Heck.

The first one...yike.

The last one? I'm gonna run with the concept that the bride and groom purposely came up with the most oulandish, tackiest cake they could come up with as a joke. Nobody SERIOUSLY wants a cake like that, do they?

I was born a Yankee and became GRITS (Girl Raised In The South)...so I can appreciate that one from ALL angles!

WV: cophy. I seryusly need sum cophy to get ovur that cayke.

Marnie said...

Once again...brilliant commentary! I had no idea you could say so much with a few dings and a soundtrack. You make me laugh!!!!

Meiveva said...

Is that a confederate flag?

Cyril Lucar said...

I LOVE SUN DROP. It rocks. Non Southerners could never understand. Confederate flags I can do without.

Anonymous said...

New favorite post! I can't stop laughing.

Stephanie said...

And that is why I will never hire these people, whoever they are, to make a cake for me, much less my wedding cake. Yowzers! o_O

Rebecca said...

this post made my day.

Jaime said...

Jen, you made my day. Tacky as it is though, it is really a well done cake. I'm sure it is exactly as Bubba and Bobbie Jo pictured it.

w.v.-liononey: after drinking all the Bud Light, the wedding guests were found liononey dance floor

Anonymous said...

Redneckalicious!

Sarah Feeney said...

Duelling redneck wedding cakes = AWESOME!

ktlove said...

You have to turn the screen the other way. April 30, 2010.
The other direction does look like the words ONE and RACE but, no. Turn the screen.

jillb-ilslp said...

john (the hubby of jen [I miss your all-lower case moniker])

Your and Jen's brains are perverted, twisted, and brilliant - and I could just kiss them!
When the banjos go presto and the pictures pan back and the pictures suddenly fit together and become clear....priceless!
Love It!!!

Anonymous said...

Tina said:
mwahhahaha lol!!!
That was EPIC!!!!
I love cake wrecks with music in them :P

Anonymous said...

1) The horror. Please don't tell anyone I live in the south. Omg.
2) In the center of Atlanta, in the oldest park in the city, we have seen an elderly man marching around carrying a 4'x6' confederate flag up and down the paths. I don't know what he is trying to say, but I'm gonna ask him if I see him again.
3) I was traumatized by yesterday's cruise post, and especially the comments from the meanieheads. So much so that I had a dream about it. You will be happy to know that I called your travel agent and she is taking care of the whole thing. (What have you done to me!?)

Alex

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

jillb-ilslp,

Actually it's weird. My name is supposed to always be john (the hubby of Jen) in deference to Jen's incredible awesometude. For some reason though, Blogger capitalizes my name on Cake Wrecks proper. Hm.

Interesting side note: I actually toyed with a few other names...

john (the hubby of the great and mighty JEN...en...en...)

john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland)

Or my favorite:
john the offensive

Ah well. I'm glad most of you liked the post.

john

Tania said...

Seriously.... laughed so hard I cried! Awesome post!!!!!!!

Karen said...

OMG thats about all i have to say about those cakes! HAHAHAHAHA

JoAnna said...

From someone who lives in the south and does not want to, I can honestly say I would not be shocked to see either of these at a wedding around these parts. (Help! I'm a northerner! Someone get me outta here!)

*banging on the computer screen as if someone behind the glass can help me*

JRM said...

Just to prove that this isn't necessarily a southern phenomenon... I used to be a florist. A bride came in on a Wednesday and said she needed a wedding bouquet for Saturday. Nothing else, just the bouquet. A bouquet of red roses in the shape of the number 8, for her beloved Dale Earnhardt Jr.

We had to special order the roses on short notice and forming the 8 as a bouquet was a royal pain. We quoted her a minimum of $50 and stressed *minimum*. Turned out to be $85. The fiance came to pick it up and he had an absolute fit. It didn't help that he was drunk as a skunk and I had to call a couple of big guys from the garden center to come over and look tough while lover-boy screamed obscenities at his betrothed over the phone. Then he literally threw $75 at us and walked out since the wedding was in 1/2 an hour.

Monday morning one of the garden center guys came over and asked for clarification of the story. Turns out he was at the local bowling alley at about 6:15 on Saturday and saw a really neat looking 8 made of roses tossed next to a smooshed sheet cake with what probably once said "Congratulations" on it. The bride had told us the ceremony was at 6pm, so in 15 minutes they got hitched, cut the cake, and dumped the bouquet.

My point of all this? It happened in Madison, WI and while the happy couples shown here are arguably lacking in taste, I'll bet they had waaaaaaaaaaay more manners than the couple I had to deal with! And there's something to be said for that.

(Thanks for the post that made me bust out laughing and mentally screaming "No! No!", even if it did bring back my florist trauma.)

Stephanie said...

Oh...the tears...the pain from laughing...oh my...

Anonymous said...

I guess I am not the only one who interprets the confederate flag as racist...but especially on a cake where one of the words showing says "RACE". What kind of race it refers to is anyone's guess, since it's on a confederate flag...

Brooke said...

These cakes should be featured in one of your posts where you show what the bride asked for and what she actually got.

Tricia L said...

Miss Mina @4:09pm asked "what the heck is Sundrop?"

SunDrop (which has variations in spelling and capitalization depending on the bottler) is a highly addictive, caffeine-packed, sugar-laden citrus-flavored soft drink which is bottled in select locations in The South. (Think Mountain Dew but sweeter and with more caffeine.) People are known to pack their car trunk full when visiting areas where it is sold. Fewer people are also know to buy it by mail order. And some are known to include it in care packages to soldiers overseas. In addition to drinking it, you can cook with it. Recipes available online. If you have a Food Lion grocery store, you can get SunDrop Sherbet. Fan page on Facebook, too.

It's a Southern thing. Like muddin', the Rebel flag, and the roadkill bill. Kind of hard to explain to Yankees.

Anonymous said...

Interesting how it's non-Southerners who keep making this a racial issue. I guess people in some parts of the country just haven't moved past that yet. Anyone who understand the South knows that if you say "race," most people will first think you are talking about NASCAR.
And the flag doesn't mean as much as people think it does. There are some exceptions of course, put to paraphrase Freud, sometimes a flag is just a flag. If you think it has some sort of meaning, then that's what it means to you. It doesn't mean that it has the same meaning for everyone else.

Anonymous said...

The Wilton company is gonna go belly up once this trend takes hold.
AND, I am so sorry for my comments yesterday, I thought the cruise post was a joke.
Sorry it wasn't.

Barbara said...

*Ahem!*

http://www.cmt.com/shows/dyn/my-big-redneck-wedding/series.jhtml

That is all.

Well except I think that's a doorstep, not a toilet. Just sayin'.

Cheri said...

Love, love, love the musical accompaniment (sp) to the posts!
BTW, thanks for sharing your misery from the last few days (though I'm sorry for your dissapointment). One of the things I love about CW/Epbot is that you are "real" here. Keep it coming!

jillb-ilslp said...

well john (the hubby of Jen) aka john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland) - I LOVE Monty Python and the Holy Grail, so I agree, that this is a great alias. You are not only a good porter, but a pretty darn good minstrel, too.

And "john the offensive" is fitting, too, whether being given the name by readers who just don't get it - or by the marvelous way in which you handle them.

All of these names are john the mark. (That's a cover for you Jen, in case you ever call out the name "Mark" in your sleep. Just please tell me it's not Mark Hamill.)

You two are a riot!

Jennifer Grigsby said...

John (the hubby of Jen):

I like john (the riderless, coconut wielding servant of Queen Jen of Scotland), if you ever decide to change your name!

Great post today; the music only enhanced the wrecks!

I'm from the South (Arkansas), and my brother-in-law would have LOVED the Bud Light cake.

And yes, the brown is probably supposed to be mud. We like taking our ATVs and vehicles out to completely cover them in mud, so we can go wash the car in our Daisy Dukes...right?

Arlene said...

I have.. no words.. laughing too hard lmao!!! I love the music to go with these cakes. Even made my hubby stop playing Halo: Reach for a minute to see why I was dying of laughter. I hope the cakes were delicious after all of that.. wreckage.

Anonymous said...

Ew! Why are the cake toppers covered in feces?!

Unknown said...

The suppressed Texan in me just perked up. Scary. :)

That was ding-a-ling-dong-tastic!


word verification: "Renita" -- The name of the bride.

proudSoutherngal said...

@pikkewyntjie, Thank you!

I do find it interesting that a post "making fun of" Italians or other nationalities is offensive, but a post making fun of Southerners is ok. (based on comments from other posters)

Personally, I think they're all funny! It has to be ok to laugh!

Sue said...

The bud light cake is truly awesome. I'm guessing the "sun drop" bride showed her baker the picture and said "make this", and ended up with her wreck. I don't consider the bud light cake a wreck at all, and in fact quite the engineering/technical masterpiece.

Erin said...

I like the Bud Light one! Looks well made. I can't see how that's any more tacky than having a gaming cake at your wedding.

Anonymous said...

The way you make this blog an interactive audio-visual experience is probably what makes it (in my opinion) one of the finest blogs on the internet. Well done.

SuBee said...

I'm deeply depressed :(
These couples surely left their tasteful receptions and began working on procreation (if they hadn't begun already.)
What will follow is frightening:

Baby shower cakes depicting C-sections

First Birthday cakes decorated with Marlboro packs.


Sweet 16 cupcake cakes decorated with edible photos of the birthday girl doing her first professional lap dance.

Thank goodness there won't be any graduation cake!

Perhaps we can take up a collection to provide birth control for the happy couples.
Confederate Flag condoms, perhaps?

Chris F said...

Great, Jen. I now have the munchkins from Spaceballs stuck in my head, thanks to your last line. "Dink DINK dink!"

Also, am I the only one who thought the mud-slung cake topper was actually cute? I mean, I found the entire cake to be well-done. It was a horrible, horrible *idea* for the cake, but it was, IMHO, completely well-executed.

Sif said...

I just about died laughing. Ding ding ding!

Anonymous said...

I tried to post a comment yesterday, but it's not here today. Dunno if I got moderated or if the system just ate it, but I'll partially reproduce it now:

I think the funniest part is that the Bud Light cake is actually pretty handsome despite the subject matter and the fact that it has Bud Light cans on it. The weirdest part, of course, is that the Sundrop cake's top tier looks like it's levitating (seriously, how is it physically possible for us to see the tops of those cans if they're holding it up? And if they're not, what IS?

One of the other comments, though, surprised me: "The only thing more racist than a Confederate flag is that sign saying "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone". It sets my WASP blood boiling."

Really? I always assumed that "we have the right to refuse service to anyone" meant "we will kick you out if you're obnoxious." I've never actually seen someone be refused service in a place that had one of those plaques, though. Also, the Confederate flag is...a complicated symbol. Really, the history of the South and the Civil War are a lot more complex than is generally acknowledged, and I doubt this is meant to be a race thing. Of course, now that someone else pointed out the word 'RACE' on the SunDrop cake, I'm curious about what else it says on there. Can't quite make out the other word that's visible--are we talking white pride, or NASCAR pride here? :p

PS: glad to see a post today--in light of yesterday's events, when there wasn't one up this morning I got a little worried about you guys. Hope things start looking up soon.

shannon said...

ah man. You guys are just the best. This is exactly what I needed this morning. Thank you Thank you Thank you. *wipes tears of laughter from eyes*

JR said...

I inexplicably sang all those dings to myself as the theme from Rocky, until I got to the banjo mention.

Anonymous said...

JHill said...

"I hear banjos, I think Deliverance.

Not sure that movie is scarier than these cakes, though."

Hey, that's what I was gonna say! LOL Great minds think alike!

Ah dueling banjos. I remember hearing the tune as a kid and bouncing around strumming an air banjo as fast as my little arms could strum just trying to keep up. Good times. Good times.

wv: gringen - I was gringen from ear to ear laughing at these cakes!

Persephone said...

Am I the only one thinking: Why is it called "Dueling Banjos" when it's clearly a guitar versus a banjo? And why haven't I noticed this before?

Just me, then? Off I go to get a life...

Word verification is "gulpship". That's got to be applicable...

lisadh said...

This looks like an "inspiration vs. perspiration" post. The Bud Light cake really is very well made. Different strokes for different folks, right?

As for the presentation of the post today? SPOT ON PERFECT!

Nice job, John!

Steph R. said...

My son just said "Hey! That's some good music!" Ugh! Hilarious and now I need to go have a looong talk with my son!

Anonymous said...

Well, the beer can cake was done perfectly. The chocolate mud splatters on the little adorable bride and groom and on the cake itself...perfect! I am not a southern girl but I can totally see how this cake was appropriate and sooo cute. OTOH the soda can cake is kind of like it's inbred cousin. It certainly tried but it didn't achieve the adorableness that the mudslogging beer cake did.
Oh the the addition of the music. Totally perfect!

Anonymous said...

I like the cans of Sun Drop on the one cake, but not the Confederate flag.

Del said...

I haven't laughed this hard at a post since the Thanksgiving poo tornado.

Rainyday said...

Why? Just why???


WV: nessnod
Nessnod a good cake design.

Anonymous said...

Funniest. Post. EVER.

Heather said...

Posting as a displaced by choice Canadian living in Arkansas, may I just say, "Feel my pain, people. That's it. Grab hold of it. Hold a telethon on my behalf, or something."
LOVED the accompanying music. I laughed so hard, I cried!

Lisa said...

I dunno.... I kinda like the Bud Lite cake... it's well done at least!

Anonymous said...

1) The Bid Light cake is excellently made. Not my style, but to each her own.

2) It's supposed to be mud, not fecal matter. I've (unwillingly) been mudding. It's disgusting, but kind of fun and made for a very funny story.

3) I'm a Southern woman with 2 degrees, impeccable taste, I'm not marrying my cousin, I don't drive a pick up truck, I hate Nascar, I don't like Sun Drop or Cheerwine, and I don't find the Confederate flag racist. It is symbolic of an important part of our nations history and my southern heritage. I have no problem with the flag and I am as far as a racist as anyone can be and I really resent all of the "OMG! Racism!" comments. Anyone who things that the confederate flag automatically equals racism has obviously never been to Myrtle Beach, SC which has a VERY diverse group of tourists and you can't go a foot without seeing the flag emblazoned on something.

Amy said...

If this is the "traditional marriage" we're supposedly destroying, someone should give us a medal.

But first, if we're giving out prizes, Jenniffer needs one for Best Blog Comment of the Year.

Amy said...

Anonymous, the fact is that the Confederacy was formed mostly in order to preserve white people's "right" to own black people. That's why some of us "find" its flag just a tad redolent of racism. Even when it shows up at a beach resort.

There are things to be proud of about being Southern (mint juleps! Flannery O'Connor! still knowing how to use "ma'am" and "sir"!) and things to acknowledge as past sources of shame. It would be nice if Southerners chose a flag that celebrated the good things instead of claiming the South's greatest tragedy as a reason for pride.

SJ said...

I don't know if it's because it's late or what but this post is making me laugh until I can't breathe. Well done CW.

Anonymous said...

That is the cleverest post EVER!

Gina said...

OMG, this one had me dying of laughter! I love you CW! Love youuuu!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

Excellent post. What saddens me is the Bud Light cake is quite well executed, for a skeezy, scary theme. Good baker,

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