Thursday, July 22, 2010

Wrecky Roughage

Thursday, July 22, 2010

According to this survey I'm about to make up, 74% of us don't get enough fiber in our diets. Unless you're British. In which case you don't get enough fibre. And you spell things wrong.

Fortunately, the bakeries of the world are here to help.

I think we'll call this Faeber.

I DO believe in Faeber. I do, I do!!


TRUE STORY: Last week our cat Tonks decided to eat a piece of ribbon because she is, by all accounts, an idiot. Now if you're a cat owner, you know that she will most likely end up dragging a two foot piece of poo-coated ribbon across our carpet while we sleep, blissfully unaware of the impending cleaning bills.

Which makes me wonder: Does the same thing happen with kids?

Admit it: you just had a mental image of a bunch of toddlers scootching their butts across the carpet.


Now, of course, if plastic is your fiber of choice, then have I got a cake for you!

It's like a cartoon colonic.

In fact, bakers really seem to be embracing the Dollar Depot movement: (Heh. "Movement.") Case in point: Ashley ordered a little boy's cake, something appropriate for a first birthday.

Aaaand this is what she got:

...'cuz nothing's more appropriate for a one-year-old than twenty-two individual choking opportunities.

"No, Palmer, Sweetie, you can't eat that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. No! Not that! Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Whoah! Definitely not that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Maybe th...no, not that, either.

"Or that."


Diana F., Kasia R., Wicked Princess, & Ashley P., I think the brown sprinkles might be safe, if you want to chance it.

Update from john: Just so we're clear, we are watching Tonks 24/7 and the minute something seems off, we'll take out a second mortgage and head to the vet. Until then, if you need me, I'll just be over here sifting poop...
Trevor said...

are you SURE that last cake was professionally done? I mean, if you can look past all the flotsam (which, I'll admit is a challenge in and of itself), the icing job is TERRIBLE. It's not even remotely smooth!

Vickie said...

So does the Dora cake say, "Happy Birthday From This Many"? I can see that. "This Many" pieces of plastic choking hazards.

Flartus said...

I agree with Trevor. Most of these wreckerators seem to be using the flotsam to disguise their lack of skill.

Which, to be fair, makes them better than most wreckerators. At least they know.

wv: inita "Inita little something right here to hide that last bit of icing."

Anonymous said...

what is the inscription on plastic crap cake? the one with Dora...

FloridaSam said...

The third one says, "From this Gang"? What gang? I heard gangs had some brutal initiations but this is downright evil!

mn_me said...

That last cake has enough plastic flotsam to choke a horse, let alone a 1 year old...

OMG

Erin Kelly said...

I just had a vision of the wreckerator curling the ribbon for that cake with the same pair of scissors they use to cut open the pesky plastic wrap from the raw meat in the butcher section. Bleck.

And poor Snoopy. He seems rather surprised to be included in the cartoon orgy of the third cake ...

Kristin said...

ribbons, cats/toddlers, and poo... laughing so hard i am crying! thank goodness i am making my son's 1st birthday cake on saturday...no flotsam allowed (of course, it won't be "professional" - but at least he'll be able to eat it).

btw, i can ~kind of~ understand the dora cake...they wanted to make sure that every kid got a piece of plastic.

AnneMarlene said...

That last cake seems to be every mother's solution to choosing a theme for the party - I can count at least 4-5 different themes happening on that cake. And for that, they should be congratualted, and then flogged for cake ruining.

And that whole ribbon/cat scenario - it actually happened with my dog . . . (now i'm trying to remove the images of trailing poo ribbons)

Amanda Mac said...

1. I love that your cat is named Tonks.

2. The poo-coated ribbon imagery is hysterical.

3. I don't have anything clever to say but a good list should have at least three items.

assumeyes said...

Americans spell it wrong. There is a reason it's called English.

Anonymous said...

The boy's name is Palmer?!?! Palmer!

The Dream Police Person! said...

Oh God, a few weeks ago my weird little dog ate fabric ribbon, dust, more fabric, and barfed it all up on the floor. I didn't know until my mom walked by in the living room and said:
"WTH!?!"
really loudly. It looked like fire damaged then soaked in water old newspaper.

Riley said...

Um, looking closely at that ribbon cake it appears a toddler has already scooched its butt across it... a mathematical toddler with a love of geometry, perhaps ...

Mom2JandK said...

Does the last cake say "Happy 11st Birthday Palmer"? 11st????

mustangsabby said...

The centre of the issue here is really that fibre is especially important for you in the cold winter months.

That said, the colourful menagerie of plastic on these cakes makes me think of my favourite Carribean vacation towel.

*wink*

signed,

~ One of your many honourable Canadian fans

Heidi B said...

My favorite part of the last cake is the good town-folk who is headed to kill the checkered flag with his pitchfork.

wv - demid: dey put de flotsam on demid of de cake, not de side.

Mere said...

That post actually made me laugh so hard that I started crying. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Again. I'm speechless for a moment. But then, English being English, and we are Americans... do we speak American?

#1 - Quite the fairy gathering there. Nuff said.

#2 - I think the answer to the toddler question is - yes.
Seriously - black, dark blue and dark purple. Rather festive for a goth cake, with all that fancy ribbon, no?

#3 - "Cartoon colonic" *snort* Dang, another glass of energy drink wasted on a computer screen.

#4 - Maybe it's these old eyes, but I'm having a hard time reading "Happy 11st birthday"?? Are there TWO 1's in that? What IS the line in front of 1st?

Overall - the cakes remind me of birthdays long past children who each demanded a piece of flotsam as a party favor. These decorators MUST have been asked to provide enough to go around for the entire neighborhood. Please? Please tell me there really is a reason?

~~Di

WV - pinses -- the Little Birthday Pinces asked for all her fairy court to have their own piece of fibre to take home from the party.

The Boob Nazi said...

The cat thing made me lose my appetite, and I'm on a diet, so that's a pretty hard thing to do.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Mustangsabby,

I actually laughed out loud.

Very rare.

john

Amanda said...

...Let me just take this opportunity to say I *adore* this blog's ability to consistently truly crack me up! I'm glad someone else understands the unfortunate trailing ribbon/hair/whatever phenomenon that occurs with cats. And... "scootch" is an awesome word.

Lauren Borquez said...

Wow these hurt my eyes and my feelings! lol

Cesna said...

I think the extra line in front of the 1 on that last cake... look closely. It looks like they drew a bubble number one. For some reason I can't fathom. It IS probably a 1, because you can see how the shapes are connected. Though it looks more like a tetris piece than a number.

postmommy said...

I think my favorite part of that last cake is the guy wielding a pitchfork like a weapon. How is that in ANY way age appropriate? Hope that decorator doesn't have children. EVER.

PinkAsphaltMama said...

The Hershey Kisses are still wrapped on the Tinker Bell cake. How about the mental imagery of the year the dog got into the bag of Kisses and ate them, foil & all. After panicked calls to the emergency vet, he survived, and for days afterwards we enjoyed the way the foil bits made his poo sparkle in the sunshine.

WV: Nashth - Some cakes are just nasth.

jillian said...

Dear Jen: Yes, the same thing happens with kids. Many a mother has opened a diaper to find... let's say she has to finish the job. OK, this is a food blog so I will leave it at that.

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

I have never seen a cake with so much decoration on it. Usually you just see 1 or 2, but 22? for a 1 year old?? now that is insane.

-Coffee Bean

Selena said...

As the mother of 2 preschoolers, I was shocked to see Dora the Explorer and Handy Manny on the same cake. Crossing the streams, man! Not right!

Shannon said...

One of my cats, Pete, swallowed two feet of ribbon once, and no, it did not result in ribbon laced with poo across the floor. Instead it resulted is $1000 vet bill for the surgery to remove it. Dogs and people, according to my vet at the time, can pass anything (presumably even the odd plastic toy) but cats cannot. String and ribbon have since been banned from my house.

D.B. Echo said...

With that second cake, I'm picturing Hal Jordan losing his mind, donning all those rings at once, and destroying the Green Lantern Corps. And Dora, and Spongebob, and Snoopy, and...

Anonymous said...

You do know that when the kids eat the ribbons, their butts will look like those ribbon streamers that used to hang from bike handles.

My dog ate an entire tree full of tinsel (also an idiot) and that's what her butt looked like one morning!

Sharon said...

My cat liked to floss with silver Christmas icicles, leaving a very shiny litter box/butt to clean.

From This Gang? Can't go wrong with this theme...just pick one!

Last cake...just SO wrong on so many levels. "Just make sure you have 911 on speed dial."


Ugly green camo, severed head and feet,
Heavy on the sprinkles, isn't that a treat?
Barbie, poo, and belly, gangsta, meat,
Hide it with flotsam, they'll think that's neat!
Singin'
We will, we will wreck you!
We will, we will wreck you!

Sharon's Edible Art

Anonymous said...

Seriously. What is it with cats and ribbon? Although I have to admit it makes for a funny surprise when cleaning the litter box.

Ian said...

well said Mustangsabby

and "shurely" (an in joke, not bad spelling) the word you were grasping for was "wrongly"....it's an adverb, as in how it was spelt, not an adjective, as in describing "it"

but that apart i enjoy the cake wrecks

Lynn said...

My theory is that the founders of American English were slightly dislexic as are many of the wreckerators. It would explain a lot.
BTW I adore that you named your cat Tonks. That really is a great cat name.

Caroline B said...

That first cake looks like a fairy flash-mob.

PinkAsphaltMama - the best description of that phenomenom I've heard is 'Faberge poo'!

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Ian,

I believe, in this case, both wrong and wrongly are correct. However, wrongly sounds awkward and cumbersome.

Example:
What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing wrongly?

See? Both adverbs but one sounds kinda dumb. Just saying...

john

Anonymous said...

The pitchfork wielding citizen is nice, but I prefer the lady clown/circus performer who is assisting planes to land. The race car, dump truck, boat, and earth-moving equipment are insufficient; a plane is needed.

What is the large blue object at the front of the cake? A surfboard? A sarcophagus?

MariaTeresa

.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hi Lynn,

Trevor used ginger for fibre and colour.

The King's English: confusing children for hundreds of years.™

john

Tiffany said...

1) Perhaps the flotsam was needed to cover up your icing ineptitude....

2) Why would you put that crap on a cake for a one year old?!?

and

3) What were you thinking? Does that actually look good to you? I would hate to see what your HOME looks like!!! Yikes!

You ARE the weakest link - Goodbye!

Nomarella said...

Remember when that guy posted the flickr stream of the party he had where everyone brought something with which to decorate the cake? And he kept a running tally on a whiteboard behind it? The last cake reminds me of that. Except it's not a joke.

Tricia L said...

It should not take longer to remove plastic crap off a cake than it does to actually consume said baked good.

By the way, does the bakery provide a count of how many plastic items are on the cake so the buyer can make sure they are all off before eating? The fairy cake has odd greenery as well as a convention full of Tinkerbell clones. Do they supply a scrub nurse with each cake to keep count?

Haven't laugh this much in quite a while. Thanks.

Sami said...

Your cat's name is Tonks? I love you guys.

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Nice. I read this post just as I was having lunch.

Thanks for the imagery.

-French Bean

Anonymous said...

Oh oh, my grandson took a party opportunity to scootch across the kitchen floor, saying "Look mom, I am doing the Nini" - the cat's gracious move. They both most have ingested lots of ribbon. So glad you explained it all so well.
Norine

Rookie said...

@Anon 10:07- that's the first thing I noticed about that one too.

mrspotts66 said...

first, thank you so much for the hystericality that is cake wrecks!

second, please don't let (g)your cats chew/eat/swallow strings or ribbons or yarn. it can get twisted in the intestines, which can end either a) espensively or b) poorly. (sorry. it's a little peeve of mine.)

resume the hilarity!

Captain Scrappy said...

funniest.post.ever!!!

Joss said...

It's not spelt wrong - just DIFFERENT!!! :P

Anonymous said...

Good lord, what did they use to frost that last cake--a sandblaster?

BUD: I don't know nothin' about decoratin' cakes, Boss.

BOSS: Don't sweat it, Bud. All you have to do is slap some icing on it, then we'll stick on so much junk that it won't look like a cake at all. Just leave enough room to wedge in the plastic "Happy Birthday" sign and we're done.

--Blue Jean

lisadh said...

Just wrong, wrong, wrong!! Ugh!!

sportsmom said...

What happened to SpongeBob's FACE?! I'm going to have a very upset 6yo when he sees that SpongeBob has lost all his facial features, especially seeing as how he didn't really have all that many other features...

Anonymous said...

It's interesting that you consider the British spelling of fibre to be "wrong", since most of the English-speaking world would consider the American spelling of this word to be "wrong". Perhaps it is more politically correct to say the Americanized spelling of the word fibre is fiber, since the Americanization of many words occurred long after the British established their lexicon.

Anonymous said...

I think the baker on the last cake had a major case of indecision... I think she would have been better off leaving ribbon for the toddler to eat.

BADKarma! said...

"Hey, Tina, we have an order here for a birthday cake for a one-year-old boy."

"SWEET! Here's our opportunity to dump all the rest of that plastic crap we didn't get to use on the Nascar, World Cup, and Mardi Gras cakes!"

"Umm... ALL of it?"

"Yes, ALL of it! Sheesh! He's a kid, he'll love it. Trust me!"

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Anon @ 1:56,

True. Very true. However, if we were constantly trying to be politically correct on this blog, the commentary would be a bit, shall we say, boring.

"Well, the decorator did his best!"
"Oh, what a shame!"
"Boy! That's some cake!"

I think the point is that just because you spelt it first, doesn't mean you spelled it correctly.

I'm also relatively certain that nobody has a better sense of humour than the British.

(Man! I keep getting all these red lines on my spell check...)

john

T said...

after you've mentioned movements and poo coated ribbon there's no WAY I'd risk the brown sprinkles.

Anonymous said...

Does the inscription on that first cake say "Happy Birthday Chalupa"? Was this a Taco Bell corporate celebration?

Anonymous said...

Ha! Your last cake commentary sounds like my every day with a 16-month-old. Don't eat that -or that-or that!!

Kimberly said...

I think that last one is solely responsible for the island of floating plastic trash in the Pacific Ocean.

Leesa said...

If you want to know how the differences in spellings occurred, check out wiki here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_and_British_English_spelling_differences

I also heard that the first shipment of aluminium from the UK to the US was spelt incorrectly - which is way you spell and pronounce it differently to us! Not sure how true that is, though!!

Anyway, I say, long may our differences live - even if it does send some people crazy!!! And thanks for making me laugh - I really needed a lol today!

Leesa

Anonymous said...

john (hubby of jen)
you are extra chatty today...
a bit too much caffeine this morning?
;-)

wv: minesses
all the cakes would have been perfect minesses a few pieces of flotsam

Belle Highsmith said...

Hey Jen! Brits, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, Jamaicans, Bermudans, Bahamians, Trinidadians, Tazminians, the Irish, Scottish, South Africans, Nigerians, Kenyans, Zimbabwians... et al. We ALL eat fibre, write cheques, go to community centres and theatres, love our neighbours, and are very colourful people. In other words, almost the whole world, other than the U.S., eats fibre! Love you and your outstanding website immensely! You are hilarious and we love the way you spell, and the way you take jabs at other countries in the interest of good natured blageury!

Anonymous said...

does the last one say "happy 11st birthday"

Damon said...

I only count 20 hazards. What am I missing? any chance you can list them for us?

Anonymous said...

This isn't apropos the cakes, but do be careful with cats and ribbon/yarn. The way a cat's digestive tract is set up, it's very easy for bits of string to get caught, and then when the cat tries to pass it the string can rip through their digestive tracts.

I don't mean to tell you this for shock value or anything, but I have a cat who tries to eat yarn (and as a knitter this is a problem) and my vet gave me a huge warning about this.

Diamond said...

Well, my 3 year old saw the last cake and LOVES it. He kept saying, "That's my birthday cake!"

Heidi D said...

Wilson: Sir, we have a problem. The Tinkerbell is spawning rapidly. 73% more than we anticipated and they're becoming aggressive. We could only be moments away before an attack. What should we do Sir!?

Sir: Pray.

jo said...

what a strange, motley crew that "gang" is.

I love the last cake. the blue car has an alien jumping out of it, threatened by a dude with pitchfork. he should turn around and check out the giant lizard and tiny shiny dinosaurs coming up behind him.

then Sisyphus, the soccer player, must be trying to heave that giant soccer ball up the sticky icing mountain of cake. what an unfortunate purgatory for him.

now what's the guy in the orange hat up to? he's hiding out like he's doing something criminal. maybe he's about to detonate the top of the cake? oops. too late.

this cake is like "career day." fire hat, dump truck, race car, cop badge, digger, train, soccer player, football, surfer, criminal, "farmer" (by the pitchfork. his futuristic dress suggests otherwise).

now I have two questions:
1) why is the football pooping?
2) is that a snowman in the background or the drummer from DEVO?

meanwhile, the fairies are kinda cute. like they're decorating the cake with cherries.

M. Muenich said...

that last one was hilarious. well played! and i hope no one was hurt...

M. Muenich said...

Belle Highsmith is my hero for the use of the word "blaguery." Now I just have so decide if ANYONE in Texas will understand me if I use it.

denali said...

My cat did that - and it got stuck. Cost me $400 at the vet. They tried to hand it to me in a baggie when they got it out. It was pink.

I'm not all that fond of pink curling ribbon anymore.

Hannah said...

Yeah, we Brits spell things strangely, but we're cranky and underslept and prepared to fight for the right to write our own special way. XD

Anonymous said...

Oh, that last cake is hilarious. I love the dialogue... "not that, either." Too funny.

Starling said...

Does the Tinkerbell cake say Happy Birthday Chalupa?

Wren said...

Ooohh!! The Wreckerator on that last cake may have invented a new flavor--the phthalate flavored cake!!

Anonymous said...

re the children's sparkly bottom trail: - I HAVE been there when our toddler ate a bauble (hey, it's red, up a tree, it must be an apple). Later I found myself musing on things you never say before you're a parent: "Florence, stop dragging your bum along the carpet! We have a dog for that!"

Anonymous said...

Jen, have you taken your cat to the vet?! Ribbon and string can actually be pretty serious for cats and can even kill them.

Junior and Orion said...

Please watch your kitty. Sometimes ribbons can wrap around their intestines and then there is serious trouble.

christi said...

Apparently my very un-bright cat Ferris once ate about 10 feet of ribbon, maybe more. I know this because we came home from a play to find endless poo-covered ribbon wound around all the legs of our kitchen chairs and table. I can only imagine the look of alarm on poor, stupid Ferris's face as he tried to figure out what was following him.

Linda said...

I think the wreckerators used up all of their dated, mismatched and leftover "flotsam" in the bakery so they wouldn't have to account for it during their next inventory!

The cat and the ribbon/tinsel subject? Been there done that..silver tinsel hanging out of a cats nether regions while he is walking around the house does NOT mean he has the Christmas Spirit!

I LOVE THIS BLOG!

Anonymous said...

OMG, I thought we were the only ones who used the word "scootch." Hilarious as usual, thanks for the laughs

Tricia L said...

The Tinkerbell cake is for Chelsea, not Chalupa.

I believe the guy with the pitchfork is not a farmer. In the enlarged format, he bears a remarkable resemblance to Vladimir Lenin. Why Lenin is on a birthday cake, I do not know. And why it was iced with spackling compound ... well that's just wrong.

Howie Doohan said...

That "Attack of the Tinkerbells" cake is what a plain cake looks like when you're on drugs!

http://dweebseduction.blogspot.com/

Dawn A. Gardetto said...

My cat Lily once ate a string from my violin bow. (It's actually a hair from a horse's tail.) They kept her at the vet's for a day and she passed it.

Kimberly Chapman said...

I can say without a doubt and with photographic evidence, if required, that my preschooler can make a better cake than that last one.

That being said, she'd also think the last one was awesome as long as she got a fair share of the toys.

*sigh*

Anonymous said...

Sorry - going to add to the cat/ribbon warnings. If you see the ribbon hanging out of your cat's bum do not pull on it. The ribbon can get stuck higher in their digestive tract and when you pull the end it will either collapse their bowel or rip it apart.

My cat ate a small (4 inches?) piece of silk ribbon last year. I gave her some hairball gel and it seemed to help her pass it. It did take a couple of days though.

Good luck - hopefully you'll have the same non-vet-visit outcome as I did.

Elizabeth said...

Our cat once ate a chenille-ribboned toy - she was about 6 months old at the time. The memory I have of that event is my husband chasing a terrified cat through the apartment, trying to remove the last 6 inches of poopy chenille string hanging out of her rear. The cat was tearing around terrified because it kept hitting her back legs and she couldn't get away from it. We refer to this incident in our life with the cat as the "poopy butt-dangler". Still makes us laugh every time! :D

FYI: This is the same cat that got spooked by her reflection in the mirror and sprinted in the opposite direction, only to run into the wall head-first at full speed. Our theory is brain damage. LOL

Bonnie said...

man...i had cats who ate ribbons all the time. We couldn't figure out how they were getting them since we were careful to throw it all away after unwrapping gifts! And then we discovered the loose board in the door to our attic space that was loaded with Christmas wrapping. Idiot cats.

And RE: the people who are chastising Jen et al for being so careless as to let their cat eat ribbon. Look, it's not like they sit at home each night and purposefully feed the cat ribbon. Ribbon is crack for cats. They have suppliers and a whole system of commerce to support their habit. You try to keep it out of their jaws but SOMEHOW they seem to always find a scrap of it somewhere. So ease up, the cat will most likely be fine, and I'm sure if something went wrong they'd handle it.

Also, also: Jen et al, don't feel like you have to explain yourselves to the world about naming your cat Tonks! My husband and I named all of our cats after Stargate characters: Thor, Vala, and Dr. Daniel Jackson ("Jackie" for short). We also have a cat named Coco, but she came to us with that name.

eMily said...

"Butt scootching toddlers" sounds like a country line-dance. Also reminds me of a message an anonymous student wrote on one of my desks: "I have butt worms." No one would sit at that desk the rest of the year.

Anonymous said...

good lord, can't anyone decorate anymore?

jillb-ilslp said...

I used to make little ribbon bows for my bald-headed baby girl and glue them to her head with Elmer's school glue (washes right out at bath time - don't call DCFS). One day, I had her dressed and ready to go, bow and all. I got myself ready and came back to pick her, but no bow! I couldn't find it anywhere. While changing her diaper days later, I'm horrified - convinced she has tapeworm, until I remember the missing ribbon.

Anonymous said...

If you have a cat, you have or will at some point witness ribbon poop. We call it "gift wrapped" in our household. No, it's not good for them, but it's also not something you just let happen. Cats, like toddlers, have a way of finding exactly what you don't want them to find. It's what they do.

Awesome post today, Jen. HILARIOUS!

dznyjenn said...

....and yes...the same thing happens to children. I will spare you the details but to say that my ex MIL made a blanket for my daughter that had 4-inch long ribbons tied every few inches.

Imagine my surprise at diaper-changing time! LOL

:::b r a n d i::: said...

I can't believe that your cat has the same name as our cat! Named after Nymphadora Tonks I presume? How cool.

Arlene said...

Ok someone must want to choke children putting all of that *ahem* garbage on top of the cake. And I love how all the fairies are hiding the spelling of the birthday girl lol. I couldn't even tell what the name was. Boy what a waste of cake. Hiding all their errors behind choking hazards is just evil of them lol.

Maureen said...

Read all the way to end of post to see if anyone had commented on the fact that the last cake's sprinkles are in yellow and brown - and I get to be the first! Puts a new spin on "sprinkles".

Also, my Great-Aunt Verna went a couple degrees of magnitude past jillb-ilslp. She would take her bald daughter out with ribbon bows taped to her head - bows which had their knots embellished with the glued-on heads of thumbtacks. Whenever anyone asked "How do you keep the bow on?", she would point and answer; "With the thumbtack of course!" And I share her genes...

Lena Goodwin said...

I do love the fact that your cat's name is Tonks. Huge shout out to Harry Potter?

JennRose said...

I once saw a piece of ribbon hanging from my cat's mouth. Like a good owner, I decided she shouldn't eat it, so I pulled it out....only it just kept coming. Apparently she had swallowed the rest of the roll of ribbon... I pulled out about 10 feet of ribbon. She sat there' patiently, while I gagged...not nice...

Jenny said...

I was going to say the same thing as Lena about your cat's name!!

Karen H said...

That first birthday cake looks like the cake we let my son decorate for himself one year. My mom made a plain chocolate sheet cake, and he added a plastic merry-go-round and all sorts of other flotsam.

Anonymous said...

I have a cat Tonks and that is just like what she would do! She eats random things off the floor before you can stop her.

Jessie said...

True story! You know those plastic frosting packets that come with Toaster Strudel? My cat ate one once - and I had no idea until I found it in the litterbox!

Anonymous said...

Is the name on that first cake "Chalupa"?

Micah said...

"Admit it: you just had a mental image of a bunch of toddlers scootching their butts across the carpet."

They were riding carrots.

Incidentally, as I read about your cat's meal of ribbon and the question regarding whether baby feces could also have a long string of ribbon in them, I glanced over at my daughter, who just learned to crawl, and found her trying to eat a long piece of yarn. I suppose she wanted to find out, too.

Christine said...

When my cat eats ribbon, he ends up barfing it back up first thing in the morning in my room.

Anonymous said...

I am dying here....you are the funniest blogger I have ever read. Never mind your cleaning bills from the cat, my new couch is going to be soaked from peeing myself!

Anonymous said...

At least they all spelled 'birthday' right.

Kristi said...

Our cat is named Tonks, too! Love the site; it's my daily dose of grammar fun.

gclyne said...

You bring back such memories, memories of the year my cats ruined Christmas. One knocked down the tree, which smashed the antique glass ornaments my grandma had just days before given me because, in her words, "you're so sentimental and I know you'll take good care of them." And the other ate a bunch of ribbon off the presents and subsequently covered our living room with bloody hairball/ribbon vomit, which had shredded his esophagus on the way out and required a day-long, wallet-emptying trip to the vet. I love cats.

MissNay said...

My brother got worms when he was little and he used to scoot his butt across the carpet too. This just brought back wonderful blackmail childhood memories.

Jen said...

Australians have Fibre too!! :)Keep up the good work
xox

StoryGirl said...

Cats see ribbon, cats see toy. I don't know that they generally mean to eat it either, it's simply fun to chew. Elastic is great fun as a cat toy too. It bounces but the pieces to get slowly shorter which is a little strange. Like anything you watch your cat anxiously but chances are if they've chewed up the ribbon well enough (and yes they can and do chew it up) then it'll simply be another thing to laugh at.

Three Turtles and Their Pet Librarian said...

It's not just cats and dogs. Our sulcata friends soend the winter living indoors at Miss Ami's, and her kids aren't always good about picking up their toys. We still remember when the largest swallowed the yarn part of someone's necklace from Sunday School, so that dangling out of her mouth was a paper medallion proclaiming "Jesus loves me!"

Anonymous said...

Last cake: What do you get when a dollar store blows up next to a bakery?

mystic_eye_cda said...

As a Canadian I am *completely* offended that you forgot us. In light of this and assuming Canada Day is an American holiday I'm never coming back...oh I don't know what a nutbar would say next.

I'm kidding.

I love your blog, this entry is seriously the funniest thing I have seen in a very, very long time. Thanks, I needed it today.

Kasia R. said...

My cat's name is Twinkletoes, and she does like ribbon too. =) LOL!!!!

Tamera said...

Just so you know, DO NOT try to pull the ribbon free if a little (or even a lot) projects out the back of the cat. The ribbon can kink and perforate intestine if tugged on. You are doing the right thing with watchful waiting. Otherwise, just grit your teeth and take him to the vet if he is straining.

Robin said...

Its really made me laugh

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Whitney said...

It's been a bad week for me and your commentary on here made me genuinely smile and laugh. Thank you.

(PS I hope Tonks is okay.. not that I like cats but I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to one)

Anonymous said...

You named your cat Tonks? Thats just plain AWESOME.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it happens with kids- my sister ate tinsel from the Christmas tree one year, so the stories my mom could tell....and usually does, while we're eating spaghetti. I think I'll just have a piece of bread...

Aoife said...

Haha, hope the cat's okay now. Mine ate the inner plastic wrapper of a peperami two weeks ago, which meant two delightful weeks of observation, gentle laxatives and picking through his poop.

Seems, however, that the plastic used can be digested, so that was good. He rewarded me with a fresh shrew the first day he was allowed out again *rolleyes*

Anonymous said...

The plastic overkill cake above Palmer's had me wondering, who the heck would want to have a cake with dismembered Dora and Snoopy heads?

And has Neverland now branched into cloning as an answer to the decline in belief of fairies? Tink will live on ... forever!

Anonymous said...

There was a reason my bulldog's nickname was "Hanky-butt."

Cupcakes Lady said...

Ha...you would think that too much decor on that last cake...I mean come on?! Chocking possibility...99.9%! lol ;) xx

Lee V. said...

I know I'm late to the party on this, but I just discovered it not too long ago, and in addition to checking new posts, I'm also going day by day through the old ones...

ANYway...

I feel your pain RE: Tonks here... my kitten is addicted to plastic shopping bags... seriously... I keenly felt the shame the night I came home, saw him running in tight circles, and laughing b/c I thought he was chasing his tail... then the horror when I realized that what he was chasing was a 4" long poo-covered plastic scrap... didn't even wait to find a paper towel... but I did immediately run to the bathroom for a 10 minute hand wash after that...

Poor little thing....

Haiku Joy said...

These wreckerators
must secretly read your blog.
They shout, "More! More!! More!!!"