Saturday, July 17, 2010

Summer Fun, Summer Not

Saturday, July 17, 2010

We Floridians are lucky enough to have Summer all year around. (And by "lucky," I mean "sweaty.") For the rest of you, it's a good thing bakeries are pumping out Summer cakes like we're all going to melt tomorrow. {Checking Orlando weather... Oh wait, we are.} You can take these cakes as a reminder of all the fun activities you'll have this season!


Like taking your first bite of juicy watermelon:

There's nothing more satisfying on a hot "Summev" day than a slice of warm, leathery melon. Mmm.


And nothing says "Summer Fun" like a computer mouse and a bedroom slipper. Fun indeed!

Heh... yeah, those flip-flops sure are a computer mouse and a bedroom slipp...

{ushering the kids out of the room...}

OKAY, I'm just gonna say it because I know half of you are already thinking it. The flop on the right looks a little... enhanced. You know, like, manly? No? Alrighty then. (Step one: open gutter. Step two: remove mind.)


Taking a family trip to the beach is always a favourite:

I hope all that stuff is to scale.

(Really... picture it. Walk through it. C'mon, let's do it together. The birds are bigger than the people. The fish are bigger than the people. The shells are real, and they're also bigger than the people. And the people may or may not be naked. P.S.- tilted evergreen tree. That is all.)



You could say taking your first dip in the water is when Summer truly begins.:

Didn't their moms ever warn them to wait 30 minutes after eating? [Neck cramp! Neck cramp!]


But be careful out there, because creating your own personal Shark Week would be a total summer bummer:

"You're gonna need a bigger fork."

Happy Summer, everyone!

Jackie P., Jess K., Amber S., Paul and Connie, and Holly C., we hope your Summer is a cool and breezy 83 degrees. 'Cause it's freakin' hot here. Seriously. My fingers are sweating as I type this.
Galadriel said...

I guess I don't have as dirty a mind as I thought. The flip-flops most reminded me of the hair on a stick figure. Whaddayaknow.

I'm in FL too, spending more time outdoors than I'd like thanks to a sick horse. I'm pretty sure I have *already* melted.

Quats said...

Yup, even the FLIPFLOPS are bigger than the people. That little nekkid guy could pick up the pair next to him and wear them like sandwich boards. Hey! Kid-friendly cake problem solved!

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Yes. We Floridians are privileged to be in hurricane season, too.

I can't wait to head back to France where I can see an *actual* change in the seasons. --.--"

-French Bean

Kelley said...

Cake 3- I didn't know flamingos could swim!

Barb said...

How have I never realized that you are in Florida? I'm over on the east coast, just south of KSC.

Megan said...

I am agreement with Kelley. Commenting to point out that I have never seen a flamingo in water- but look at them floating gracefully like massive swans.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

At least most of them are plastered with the word 'Summer'. It helps.

Moggypie said...

The sunglasses next to the two mini people on the beach are much bigger than they are too. They could use them as sunshields, lying completely under them to avoid those glaring rays and subsequent sunburns. Would come in handy to hide from the scary patrolling flamingoes and giant fish and parrot, too.

Anonymous said...

The shark cake looks awful!! I actually made those cupcakes myself, and I have NO TALENT, but mine looked much better than THAT!! wow.

morriganscrow said...

In the interests of enhancing everybody's summev fun, here's a youtube in total harmony with the last pictured wreck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2HGoR8pSps

Hilz said...

I'm noticing that this entry was posted by "number 1". Is number one Jen or Jen's secret super hero name? I kind of like the latter..

helva2260 said...

As a bonus to the "everything's bigger than the people" cake, the boat is SMALLER than the people...

A Paperback Writer said...

I'm trying, but I really can't see anything in those flip flops other than blobs that don't really resemble flip flops.

Oh, and on the not-to-scale beach, the boat is smaller than the people and the flamingoes. Dude, those are some big pink birds!
Real shells on a cake? Uh, how clean are they?

Classic Steve said...

Summer 2009? I hope that's an old photo, not an expired cake.

Anonymous said...

*Sigh* 83 degrees=Winter. Well, last I checked it was only supposed to get up to 115 today (down from 116). And since it's Monsoon season; no, it's NOT a ry heat. *whimper*

sunlizzard said...

So, what are the giant white worms on the beach cak-- Oh wait. No. It can't be. Nobody would.... oil booms?!? That'd be just TOO tacky!

It's even worse than what the flip-flops look like. And I saw it too, Jen! You're not alone! You predicted (so to speak) that half of us were already thinking it, and I, for one, am sure you're right! Right? Heh.

Finally, those poor, deflated blobs of floating flesh-toned poo are just... just.....

Okay, I've officially run out of words now. May I go? No, wait! This is priceless! WV: Foxic. The kind of mental poisoning you get from watching Fox News Channel. HA!

The Boob Nazi said...

Oh gosh. That last one is awesome. Who would think of doing that?

mizdarlin said...

There is usually one cake that makes me laugh out loud..this time, it was the "beach" scene replete with giant flamingos and wonky trees (trees on the beach?)
Thanks for the laughs!

noricum said...

Is that a tampon-applicator in the water? Sheesh... don't you hate it when people litter? Ick!

Janet said...

I thought that the second cake kinda looked like safety pins. Is it me?

Mary said...

That shark cake is just too funny. I would love to have a shark cake to serve to my Horror lovin' family.

jessid111590 said...

Try having it be 90 degrees and I live in Michigan. We go from freezing cold one day to 100 degrees the next.

Little Luxuries said...

The flip-flop on the right obviously belongs to Enzyte Bob.

Sarah said...

Wow...I was looking at the second cake and mused aloud, "I thought those were eyes at first." My husband was standing behind me looking over my shoulder and said,"I thought they were pantyliners!"

Cheressa said...

On that 3rd picture...is it just me, or are there Tampons swimming in the water with the Flamingos?!!

Pat said...

In the line you wrote to introduce the beach cake, I think it's obvious that some Canadian has you under his/her spell...so you'll be nice to their country... QUOTE:
"Taking a family trip to the beach is always a favourite"

Arlene said...

Is that shark eating a baby head?? Either that or my eyes are playing tricks on me.. gross lol. And yeah those "flip flops" hmm I see what you mean. Picks up mind and goes to wash it off now lol.

Wolvie Girl said...

Is the first one really meant to be a watermelon? Because I saw a tombstone. A blood soaked, mould edged, poo decorated tombstone in the memory of Summer. And I'd hate to even imagine what those red gobbets down the bottom of it are.

Looking at the second cookie cake thingy, it seems oddly appropriate that where I come from flip flops are known as thongs :D

I love how in cake 3, the parrot on the left has a hoverperch.

Meanwhile, the strangely hirsute shark in the last cake seems to be a little depressed, is it a bad hair day? Or maybe because he seems to have a baby lodged in his teeth. That would get me a little bit down.

MissNay said...

Move here! Here in Northern WA it is a balmy 68 degrees with a delightful cloud cover almost permanently in place. AND we don't have to fear ameobas and alligators in lakes. We just have to fear the slew of serial killers that seem to flock to and from the Pacific Northwest.

And the 3rd cake reminded me that at a certain superstore, they are selling plastic pink flamingo pairs again! Bringing classy back, people!

Lady-Light said...

Very cute! I just returned from a quick, week-long visit to Florida to see some of my kids and grandkids.

I'd forgotten what it's like: you go out the doors of the terminal, and you are immediately in a steam bath. Weird.

Ashleigh said...

Is it just me or does that shark look a little apologetic about eating the baby head in the last picture?

Craig said...

Wreckerator #1: "I need to make a watermelon cake. What shall I use as a model? I know -- my friend Summer's brown valise with the lime green handles! Why do I need a model for a watermelon cake? Because I'm a wreckerator!"

That seascape is very imaginative, if by 'imaginative', one means 'hallucinogenic'. Where on earth could this possibly be? The shoreline is dirt, as evidenced by the texture and by the evergreen tree. It's not a lake, though, as shown most clearly by the rainbow seahorse (which appears to be an ex-seahorse -- ditto the fish). There's nothing left to be said about the miniature skinny-dippers and their giant accessories.

"The secret to art is knowing when to stop." The secret to wreck-creation is not knowing when to stop (or just about anything else, it would seem).

Someone else must have been on the same dru-- er, wavelength, with the last one. What species of shark has teeth outside it's mouth? And eyebrows? Why am I now hearing 'Mack the Knife' sung by Bobby Darin with a cameo by Charlie the Tuna?

Sometimes this blog is like a storyboard for future dreams...

Craig said...

Wait a second -- don't those 'guys' in the '09 cake have mohawks? Maybe the carrot jockeys grew up and took up synchronized swimming (I hope they're wearing trunks). Yeah, that's the ticket!

Pahz said...

That shark needs an orthodontist!

Summer makes me wish I still lived in Alaska...

Anonymous said...

Awh, I thought "Summer 2009" was kind of cute, in an I-can't make-people-out-of-icing-for-s**t kind of way. They sure look like they're enjoying their swim! And I think that's why I like them.

I'm not sure about the leathery watermelon though. I mean, I see football, but I can't figure out WHY I see football.

WV: Are you sure that the tree on the beach cake isn't a cooconr palm?

Grace Away said...

Shame on you guys sweltering in the heat, while down here in New Zealand we are enjoying a gorgeously cold winter.

Happy Winter, Southern Hemisphere Readers!

mel said...

That beach cake reminded me of an awesome wreck my Mum made for my big sister's birthday back in the 70's... Due to a sloping oven the cake ended up being 1" thick on one side 5" on the other... No worries! slap on some blue icing, yellow sprinkles 'beach' on one side and some lolly fish. All us children thought it was fantastic. Mum (not the usual cake maker) had to field "How did you make it?" requests all year from pestered parents!!

Anonymous said...

Oh no! I make my "r" letters more like "v" letters!! I can't help it!

Nicole said...

The beach cake and the swimming cake after almost made me choke on my cereal. I should have learned with the beach cake, but nooo, I take another bite and scroll down to see the kids with their neck cramps... almost died...

Claire said...

I laughed so hard when I envisioned flamingos two to three times larger than humans. Especially flamingos with spherical bodies.

Mandy said...

I like the waves on the family beach trip cake...one looks like a tampon. HAHA!

Rob said...

Too bad that beach cake doesn't have chocolate syrup all over it to give it a Gulf Coast feel.

Kyle said...

Ok does anyone notice the shark is eating a baby?

Haiku Joy said...

Sad shark was on date.
Should have flossed out baby first.
He hopes she calls back.