Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Phonics Phailures

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

When "sounding it out" goes horribly, hilariously wrong.


"Good By Kathleen."

As opposed to 'Bad by Wreckerator,' I guess.

"Don't Techno For An Answer"

Especially when Polka is much more effective.


Aw, they always were joined at the hip.


"Ay, lass, nao A'm off to tend me wee bairns!"

(Don't worry; I have no idea what I just wrote, either.)


Hey, just for fun, try adding in a bad connection to your Phonics phone order. Why, you never know WHAT you might get!

Can you guess what the order was?

[humming Jeopardy theme]


Give up?


It was supposed to read, "Goodbye, farewell, now get out!"



And finally, a Wreck that pays tribute to my very own Sunshine State:


"Fair Wiell Dan
In Joy Florida!"

Huh. I think I knew a girl named Joy Florida once.

[clearing throat] Um. Not that that has anything to do with this cake, of course. Heh. Aheh. Yeeeah.

[checking watch]

So...

What do you say we get to the credits now?


Thanks, Fernando, Dori K., Wayne H., Todd K., Tammy B., & Judith B.. That almost got awkward there.

Also, you guys ever notice that the name Phonics is super ironic? You know, since you can't actually sound out the word for sounding out words? Just curious.
Trevor said...

not only can I not figure out why you don't techno for an answer (Maybe I"m being dense), but why does that cake have crayon candles on it? Inquiring minds.....

...should probably learn it's best not to ask.

mimi said...

I don't know. I think "Don't techno for an answer" is pretty good advice.

Good bay.

Jenny Mitchell said...

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, "Don't techno for an answer" comes along. Best wreck ever!

Costumeholic said...

You don't know what you just said? Well I do (after all, this frog learned to speak Enlish by watching Buffy and by having a Scotish Nanny).
"Ay, lass, nao A'm off to tend me wee bairns" would roughly translate to:
"Yes girl, now I'm off to ake caire of my small cubs (or my little ones; it depends whether you mean animals or kids). ;P

upar243@mac.com said...

"hoo-ked on p-honics...work-ed for ME!" - Brian Regan.

Aliza said...

Perhaps "don't techno for an answer" was supposed to be "Don't take 'no' for an answer"? Or else it was just someone (like me) who really doesn't like that type of music!!

As for the rest... oy gevalt!!

drumnate said...

"Don't Techno" sounds like it might be a similar accent as "Under Neat".

drumnate said...

I think the person who ordered "Don't Techno" is the same one who ordered "Under Neat". They need to start writing things out instead of calling it in. :)

Anonymous said...

I am sooo glad you provided translations. One would never no nohow what the H*** they were saying. Norine

Albatross said...

The last one kills me: "Fair well"? "In joy"? REALLY?

A Paperback Writer said...

I think that possibly there may be a need to have non-native speakers who get bakery jobs pass certain tests before they are allowed to do the writing part of cake decorating...... But that's probably just because I teach ESL.
However, if someone actually added the correct comma to the direct address (which almost never appears on even your Sunday Sweets cakes, I might add, making them still technically wrong), that one cake is still pleasant: "Good Look, Eileen" could be used to tell her that her new hairstyle is a winner. Okay, well, I'm stretching it here, but it is better than some of those others.

jillian said...

I actually have the album "Don't Techno for an Answer". It's a techno compilation album (actually, it's a series).

Kitty said...

lol love to see people write in a scottish accent but as for you not a knowin what ye sayd lass Ah can nah believe dat. Keep em' comin. (YES I did spell that all how it sounded when I said it feel free to laugh)

Sandy C/So Fla said...

Drumnate, I think you may be on to something.... I had no clue and after thinking about it, it probably was meant to say, "Don't take NO..." rather than, "Don't techno..."

This and the Florida cakes, I think, are todays weiners.. I mean wynters.. I mean winners..

LaurenH said...

Fair, well Dan in Joy Florida??? I think that belongs with the previous day's "naughty wrecks" :)

Tricia L said...

Perhaps Dan's cake was a message from the well driller putting in his sprinkler system:

Fair Well (not a good well, but a fair one)

In Joy Florida (a suburb of Celebration FL, perhaps)

On the other hand, some of these have such bad handwriting that you can't expect decent spelling.

Annie said...

You know, I've played a lot of Mad Gab, but that "Good Bay Sher Well Know Getout" blew my mind. (And is it just me, or does the 'G' look like the type of 6 you see on a digital clock?)

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Somehow, I am reminded of those old "hooked on phonics works for me!" commercials...these Wreckers obviously never took those courses. --.--"

-French Bean

Anonymous said...

It amazes me that you've had this website up for so long, yet there are still so many cakes wrecked every day! There should be a public service announcement along the lines of the old "The More You Know" ones...

Gary said...

"Don't Techno for an Answer" must be the motto of several of the tech help lines I've called.

WV: kunplayi, as in "Someone's singing, Lord, kun-pla-yi."

Chrissy said...

All I can do is laugh. In Joy Florida. Bwahahaha!

Bree said...

Too bad about Wayneengreg because the handwriting is pretty.

I think "Don't techno for an answer" might be my new favorite wreck, since I enjoy quite a bit of techno music.

Anonymous said...

Anyone watching Bonnie Hunt? Cakewrecks was just mentioned. woopwoop!

Anonymous said...

Anyone notice the wrist bracelet on techno cake? Between the crayons, and the bracelet, maybe prison bakery?
mocking

Anne said...

"Ay, lass, nao A'm off to tend me wee bairns!"

Scottish translation; Yes young lady, now I am going to take care of my little children. (I learned this from Star Trek actually))

Stevens Family said...

Wow - really? Were the decorators still hung over from the night before?
King of reminds me of when you try to read English that was translated from a Chinese.

Anonymous said...

ROFL!! SO glad my cuppa was done today.

oh -- and what's wrong with sounding out pahonixs? Just wondrin.

Egads.. I canna do it. That last line just killed me.

~~Di

Anonymous said...

That life's a faught there is nae doubt,
A steep and slipp'ry brae,
And wisdom's sel', wi' a' its rules,
Will aften find it sae.
The truest heart that e'er was made
May find a deadly fae.
And broken aiths and faithless vows
Gi'e lovers mickle wae.

When poortith looks wi' sour disdain,
It frights a body sair,
And gars them think they ne'er will meet
Delight or pleasure mair.
But though the heart be e'er sae sad,
And prest wi' joyless care,
Hope lightly steps in at the last,
To fley awa' despair.

Gina said...

"Techno for an answer" . That is the best. EVER.

Michelle said...

It's the MAD GAB "sweets" version! "Ice Mail Ask Hunk" I love this game, and coming soon, gluten-free & low-fat versions.

Kathleen said...

As a woman named Kathleen, I can tell you that the first cake was sent from the future, and it celebrates a book I'm going to write, titled "Good". A little punctuation may have made this more obvious.

knitorpurl said...

In joyed today's cakes. Phonics is our friend, but so is spelling things out that you want on a cake!

ladyrazorsharp said...

It's a darn shame that these are sooo wrecky--Waynengreg's cake looks delicious!

I think whoever did the "goodbye 'farewell'/get out" cake did so because they wanted all of that ganache and strawberry goodness for themselves. OM NOM NOM

And I'm shocked--shocked, I tell you!--that someone spelled Eileen right. But the cake...well, as that great philosopher, Maxwell Smart would say--"Missed it by THAT much!" XD

Anonymous said...

I think I'm most disturbed by the fact that the last one seem to have two bright red bell peppers on the side...

The Boob Nazi said...

haha I wish the "techno" cake was a little more colorful.

Anonymous said...

As I'm looking at the site, and actress named Busy on The Bonnie Hunt Show mentioned it. You're famous!

As a first grade teacher, I translate these too well :)

-AJ

liz said...

Actually, children learn that "ph" together makes the "f" sound from a very early age now, so it would be appropriate to expect them to be able to sound out the word "phonics"!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you can't Techno for an answer 'cuz ther line is always bizy!
Yup, that was intentional....

But I still have to worry about the garbage truck seen in Pennsylvania that claimed to do "Municiple" waste removal. In big bold letters!!loach

Erin Kelly said...

Epic-ly, awesomely, dreadfully bad. Honestly, does becoming a cake decorator require checking one's brain at the door??

Erin
aka Baker-Writer Extraordinaire

Lottie said...

Silly peeps, while your Scots is otherwise commendable, us Brits know that the Good Look cake is clearly from Yorkshire. So really it's "Ey up, lass, A'm aff t' see m' wee chooks."

As for the Good bay, Sher well cake...mind blown. Even more so now I've noticed the peppers.

dharmamama said...

I can't hear (even in my head!) a Scottish accent now without thinking of David Tennant, Dr. Who # 10. {sigh} Thank you, Eileen, whoever you are, for having an occasion to have a Wreck created so I could think of David Tennant.

Anonymous said...

Hooked on phonics worked for me

Tyree said...

"Don't techno for an answer" sounds like something you'd see on a t-shirt at Hot Topic or something.

Kae said...

And the Waynengreg cake looks so tasty, too. T'is a pity it's illiterate.

Kalee said...

In the Goodbye, Farewell, Now Get out cake those strawberries are glazed to within an inch of their life. At first glance I was wondering why the hell they put red peppers on the cake!

Renee said...

this post reminds me of an old Phonics joke...

the one where a kid is overheard at a zoo yelling,

"Look mom! A Freakin' Elephant!"
(the sign reads: African Elephant)

yeah... maybe those bakers should go back to 1st grade ;)

Mary Connealy said...

Don't TAKE No for an Answer.

I knew the comments section would clear up my confusion.

I couldn't get it.

Penelope said...

Can we get "Don't Techno for an Answer" on a shirt? With strobes and/or glowsticks? That would be seriously awesome.

Diane B. said...

On a side note...as long as you're pointing out the irony of not being able to sound out the word phonics, ever wonder why abbreviation is so long?

Dana Lynn said...

It's just like MadGab, my favorite game! I called mt husband in so we could play. When you say them out loud it all starts to make sense.

I think Cakewrecks and MadGab should put out a special cakey edition!

Terri said...

maybe the "Good Look Eileen" was for a celebration for a plastic surgery gone good..... just saying.... okie, so maybe not

JenB said...

All of the cakes with chocolate frosting in today's post are home wrecks. People bought the perfectly frosted cakes and a few squeeze tubes of frosting and got stupid all over them. So obvious.

~Alissa said...

Polka your eyes out!!!

Hannah said...

Not only is the word 'phonics' misleading, but 'palindrome' is not a palindrom, 'lisp' is hard to say with a lisp, and 'onomatopoeia' doesn't sound anything at all like an onomatopoeia! :)

In other news: Why is it that we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

BajaGringa said...

"Don't techno for an answer."

You know, like when you're trying to get your teenager to quit tweeting you from across the room. Talk to me! Don't techno!

(Well, it was worth a try.)

geekyinventions said...

Ohhh deaarrrr...:/...this is why some people should think before they breed.

kayk said...

I read it as tending your "wee BRAINS." Like the wee brains of these wreckerators.

Anonymous said...

"Don't Techno For An Answer" I believe a few other people have posted it, but I'll say it too, it's a techno music compilation CD. I have it, and I love word play when it's done on purpose. :) Someday I'd like to see "pun cake" with illustrations from Piers Anthony's Xanth Novels

Anonymous said...

I wonder if "Don't techno for an answer" is a deliberate pun, maybe for a DJ or a fan of techno music?

I think it's a sign I've been playing too much World of Warcraft when I see someone typing in a Scottish accent and think "Dwarf!"

Jennifer D Allen said...

So I was watching a rerun of the Bonnie Hunt show today and Busy Phillips was making fondant things and OMG she mentioned cake wrecks! Made my day!

Arlene said...

I think my brain just exploded.. I wonder if that good bye, fair well cake is for a graduate lol. Not that the wreckerator would care considering what it ended up saying. And I am dying of laughter here at that last cake.. boy..

Dangard said...

I can't wait to meet Joy Florida!!!!
My name is Dan I don't techno for an answer!

utari said...

wow..that looks pretty...hmm..yummy :D

Marleah said...

Someone beat me to the Brian Regan reference, but here is the video!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtJLAWXO5vY&feature=related

I LOVE this guy.

WV: "reallym" What I say to my husband when he dishes out compliments to suck up "Really, mmm?"

Anonymous said...

I want "Don't Techno for an answer" on a T-shirt!!

Anonymous said...

Afterwards, the bakery employee was seen on a street corner holding a sign saying "Will Techno For Food."

Mary Ann said...

HA!! The "Good Look" cake was hilarious and your reply about the wee bairns was spot on!

Your blog = bucket of awesome :)

~ Maria

Rhapsody said...

Since no one else seems to have mentioned it, I'm gonna step up on my soap box here. As an English teacher, and as a sister to a dyslexic person, I will personally vouch for the fact that spelling by phonics is, in general, STUPID. The English language is NOT spelled phonically, and telling our students to "sound it out" is only setting them up for failure. "Hooked on Phonics" did my sister more harm than good.

./soapbox

Anonymous said...

lol this reminds me of 2 twins and since their birthday is on the same day, they want diffferent things on their cake. So they give them both half, and after the cake is made it looks completely disgusting and weird like 1 wanted a spider man cake and it was supposed to say go spidey go but instead it said go spid go cause it didnt have room.

Haiku Joy said...

Why techno when you
can ask, "What in the jota?"
Pass the castenets!