Monday, July 12, 2010

The Men of Marvel

Monday, July 12, 2010

Note: This post is not appropriate for young children. And the older ones will be all, "Ooooohh! I'm gonna tell DADDY!!" so you might lock them out, too.



Spiderman's dirty little secret revealed:

Now that's a Dynamic Duo.


Here's one of the lesser-known heroes, Essenem Man:

He may not be much of a fighter, but he is always on the ball.



GRRAAA!! HULK TENSE!!

HULK TRY RELIEVE TENSION.



The good news: little Ryder had no idea why his mom was in such a hurry to cut the cake.

The bad news: everyone else at the party did.


Liz D., Kristen C., Mark F., & Rebecca J., I would tell you who my favorite superhero is, but I'm afraid it's a three-way tie.

Note: If you're wondering, the second cake is supposed to be Batman. Obviously.

Hel said...

I thought the second cake was supposed to be The Swamp Thing.

Alex Getts said...

I choose to blame all of these wrecks on 1997's "Batman & Robin."

Akshay said...

really nice..

Antharjaala

Anna Lore said...

hahaha could we please also look at "Happy Birthdaye Anniversary" on the hulk "relieving tension" cake??

Trevor said...

Me think Hulk need Ex-Lax. Hulk looks constipated.

Is it wrong when I look at the last cake I can't tell if Spidey is bent over or on his back? That's an amazing piece of art when you can't tell that. Kudos to the Wreckarator! :)

Becky said...

Oh my... Ryder's cake really shows how much those superheroes like to work together!

Jw said...

Oh my god...

AppleC said...

Amazing cakes for kids? ... or adult parties?

Sherry said...

The hulk cake is so ... um... intense that no one bothered to comment on the text. "Happy Birthdaye Anniversary"... it sounds like quite a celebration. I mean, seriously, how do you not notice THAT?

Anonymous said...

Holy, uh, whatever! Norine

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

I agree, I thought it was the Swamp Thing (or creature from the Black Lagoon). Crazy.
And the last cake actually isn't too badly done, if you don't mind the "subtle" comic book male... bonding hints... Ok, that's not easy to say without actually saying it...

WV: knottl: looks like the hulk has a knottl that needs tending.

Krystine said...

What, no mention of "happy birthdaye anniversary"?

Susan said...

Geez, when I saw the second cake, I thought it was supposed to be Darth Vader! Never in a million years would I have guessed Batman!

Seiena said...

XD This is the best thing to wake up to in the morning. Made better by the fact I'm officially 27 today! XD Thanks for the awesomeness!


And I kinda noticed the hulk wording, but my eyes kept falling to an odd line on his person.

Brian said...

Batman? He likes to watch.

Anonymous said...

I think the Hulk cake says "Happy Birthday & Anniversary". :)

Dana E said...

Not to be defending the hulk cake but I think the inscription is "Happy Birthday & Anniversary". I too thought it said Birthdaye until I re-read it as a funky & symbol.

Bin said...

I saw Happy Birthday & Anniversary right away.
That's how I write my ampersands, too, like a backwards 3 with a slash through it. It's just hard to see the slash on the cake.

Lauren Borquez said...

Eww These are just awful...lol I feel bad for the kids and even worse for the parents serving them!

Anonymous said...

ROFL

DYNAMIC DUO!! seriously, those are some pretty impressive, er, skills. Is this from the new adult flick, "Spidey does Dallas"? Looks like he has to compensate for missing half a leg.

S&M/Swamp Thing/"Batman" does not look remotely edible. he's just scary.

And the Dynamic Trio cake is hysterial! Maybe Spidey's not so mighty without the one leg. Are BM and SM punishing him or is this a fun little threesome? In spandex no less.

Hmmm....how do we know this isn't a fantasy cake at an alternative lifestyle party?

and who would want Hulk for a birthday AND an anniversary? how old are these people? "when children marry...." or maybe it's for the people with the matchbox cars cake from last week....

jo said...

Ryder is a really unfortunate name for the cake. Yee-haw, Superman!

KritterBugg said...

OMG!!!! The Hulk and little Ryder's cake just had me rolling!!! I love it! I can just hear Superman going, "Woo-hoooo!"

DK @ http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Brian's comment made me laugh too. So witty.

Valerie said...

Wow, either I'm getting old, or you're a perv! I had to look twice at a few of those to get the joke. Thanks for the daily laughs.

Kimberly Chapman said...

I have so, so, so many non-G-rated questions about the Hulk now.


WV: cemant...a new synthetic sugar-cement used in bad icing jobs.

Jenni @ Project Cookie 365 said...

HAH! That last one is hilarious and a serious nightmare in waiting. I hope this isn't a bad omen... I have a superhero cake to do this weekend lol

Fanboy Wife said...

I “like” that there are action lines around the Hulk to help imply movement. (My eyes! Ahhh!)

Melanie said...

I'm also getting old. I only really got the Hulk cake on first glance.

Anonymous said...

Batman? Batman, you say??? I was clueless, thanks for pointing out that Batman masquerades as S&M man. I always knew there was something I liked about that guy.

I had to seriously leave the room after the Hulk, though.

Such sick minds work at Caewrecks... thank goodness!

Y'know they say that laughter cures all ills. I'm going to recommend my doc write a prescription to Cakewrecks for me, maybe I can write off the expense of my computer as medical? Certainly the book cost would qualify?

~~Di

wv - phytemit.... why would any of these heroes want to phytemit, they should just go with the flow.

Sara said...

omg ryders birthday cake had me laughing til i cried!!! and its sooo ironic that his name is "ryder" omg omg omg lol!!

Meg said...

I thought the second cake looked like Cat Woman.

Connie Moreno said...

Hilarious!

LaurenH said...

Batman looks awfully disturbed at what he's witnessing on that last one (I understand, Batman, so am I!)

The Hulk one just about killed me :D

The Boob Nazi said...

The last one is amaaazing.

Caroline B said...

"Hey there Hulk, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me...."

Puts me in mind of some plush Hulk toys that came out at the same time as the movie which were anatomically correct in every detail - me & my kids had a peek and had to leave the shop in hysterics. They were taken off the market soon after...wish I'd bought one!

Miss Kitty said...

Well, thank you for making me snarf my iced tea over Essenmen Man. LMAO.

chinese antique said...

yummy yummy yummy!

Janella said...

I really don't get it. I'm not at all naive and usually can see what people think is "wrong" with things (even though I think people use too much imagination at times to see what they want to see), but I don't see what's "dirty" about these. ??

They are pretty ugly cakes, though.

Mary Connealy said...

The...uh...Batman Cake...I believe Obviously is overstated.

I definitely needed the hint.

Bree said...

The Hulk cake reminds me of a standup comic many years ago, saying that he couldn't be so incredible because his pants didn't rip completely off, if you know what I mean.

I think that cake rectifies the situation.

Tiffany said...

Why would you have an anniversary cake of the Hulk??? If my husband did that.... actually, it would be nice to get cake on my anniversary.... scratch that.

Anonymous said...

OMG

Superheroes on Viagra we do NOT need iced onto childrens' cakes


:-0

A Paperback Writer said...

Okay, I teach junior high. I'm used to gutter-minds all day, every day. But I don't get the S&M batman cake. What? Is it leather? The lips? I"m not seeing anything other than a really stupid-looking cake here.
Oh, yes, I get the others. I find Spiderman and the Ryder cake very funny indeed (it's that junior high humor), but I do not get the S&M cake. If someone would give me few hints about what's supposed to be funny/dirty, I'd much appreciate it.
Just call me clueless.

Kaitlyn said...

I think that last one was the inspiration for the Soulja Boi song: "Superman dat [Spiderman]!"

Sara said...

I'm so not lying, I thought the second cake was the Old Spice Guy! hahahahahaha

msyendor said...

Oops. Mebbe cake #1 should be the bottom cake. I mean, it would explain the twin streams.

wv: Chaph -- the chaph would be kind of redundant with the costumes anyway

Rachel said...

"Is he strong? Listen, chum..."

Anonymous said...

Wow ... just ...wow. The total WRONGNESS of those is just funny as hell.

Sidenote: Not to be picky or anything but Batman and Superman are NOT Marvel characters. They are DC characters. Just sayin!

Awesomely bad cakes though. *winks* Especially that Batman/Superman/Spiderman threesome!

KingfisherBlue said...

Love the last cake, made tears come to my eyes laughing (but then I have a filthy mind). I love the look on Batman's face, like he's looking over the shoulder of superman at what's going on there and sooo disapproving!

ladyqkat said...

Bin said: It's just hard to see the slash on the cake.

Trust me, Bin, there will be plenty of slash on that cake if you know where to look.

WV: mileiadr - There are mileiadr versions if you know where to look.

Classic Steve said...

Superman...those eyelashes...

Anonymous said...

Ambiguously gay . . . trio? Lorne Michaels would be proud of that last cake . . . although it's not all that ambiguous really. "What's everyone looking at?"

Anonymous said...

Batman and Superman are DC. Hulk and Spider-man are Marvel.

Laura said...

I suppose it's a statement for how clean-minded I am that I didn't understand why a single one of these was dirty.

Michele T Myers said...

I think the reason some of us don't quite "get" the Batman/S&M cake is because we're not that familiar with the, um, err, toys? that are used during that activity. And yes, I'm implying that the rest of you are into S&M >;~) The only relatable image that comes to mind for me is from those scenes in the movie Pulp Fiction. Still curious? Search "Pulp Fiction bring out the gimp" on Youtube and flip through some of the clips. You'll get the gist of it.

ladyrazorsharp said...

The Hulk cake makes me *headdesk* repeatedly.

The rest, wow. For some wrecky wrecks, these are some of the wreckiest! XD

anacsadder said...

I see rule 34 has begun invading innocent bakeries. O_o

T said...

holy crap I am such an innocent - because "essenem" didn't click until about 20 comments in... thanks for corrupting my poor sweet innocent little self :)

(okay, so it's not totally your fault...)

Anonymous said...

The most obscene thing of all is that the last cake is mixing DC and Marvel characters. That's just wrong!!!

Mary said...

I knew there was a reason girls liked the Hulk. LOL

Wow, those cakes are just creepy.

I couldn't tell if Spiderman was laying face up, or face down.

Anonymous said...

About 10 years ago, there was a soft-porn flick on late-night HBO that was a spoof of the Spiderman movies -- the female lead produced her webs the same way...

Jennifer said...

I thought that second cake was actually a pretty good rendition of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Isabela said...

I'm surprised that some people don't see what's wrong with some of these cakes.

1. Look at where those webs are coming from....
2. The key word there might be "ball." Add another word to that and you might have it.
3. An unfortunate placement of a line.... And maybe a hand, too.
4. Maybe my mind is always in the gutter, but... just an 'awkward' placement of characters. :) And I don't know if Batman is looking on in disapprovement per se....

Heidi D said...

*blush*

gamingkitty said...

I thought the second one was an attempt at Black Bolt.

::runs off to Google Images:: http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/b/blackbolt.htm

But then, I've managed to not catch any showings of whichever Bat-movie had the body armor with nipples (clearly this wreckerator's inspiration, if that really Batman.

4 Dudes said...

I kinda noticed the hulk wording, but my eyes kept falling to an odd line on his person.

cath c said...

i thought #2 was the lochness monster! in any case, still a miss.

Anonymous said...

Cake 2 contains a ball-gag. Look it up if you must, but be aware that plenty of NSFW stuff will come up.

Janella said...

I wouldn't have seen them if someone hadn't pointed them out. My mind just isn't in the gutter, I guess. I still don't see some of them...but that's okay, I don't want any more explanations.

Robyn :) said...

At least the first cake is close to being accurate -- spider webs come out their behinds. LOL

Anonymous said...

I wasn't sure if that Batman cake was a really, really bad Spidey in the Venom suit or a really bad Batman.

And because my comic-book collecting husband has me well-trained, I feel compelled to point out that Batman & Superman are from the DC universe while Spiderman and the Hulk are indeed from the Marvel universe.

-Janna

Juniper said...

I also think it is odd that people don't see what's dirty about these. This must be the cleanest minded community on the internet or something.

I can't think of any way to interpret the last one *other* than a gay superhero threesome in which Superman is inexplicably wearing mascara. And can you really not see anything remotely suggestive about Spiderman shooting giant streams of ropey white web fluid RIGHT OUT OF HIS CROTCH?

I suppose the second one is a bit more tenuous, if it hadn't been for the commentary, I might have just thought it was a bad drawing of Darth Vader, but once it has been pointed out, it *does* look much more like something from an S&M dungeon with a ball gag than Darth Vader, certainly more so than Batman. I mean really, what was the decorator aiming for when they drew the mouth like that? Epeccially if they were trying to make a Batman cake. Once it has been seen, it cannot be unseen...

And the third one, well I don't know, but I just can't stop laughing at the commentary for that. It fits the picture so well. If the decorator had just drawn the line of the shorts a little higher, or the hand a little further in almost any direction really, it would have been fine, but no no, they had to draw a picture of Hulk grabbing his crotch. With motion lines. And now I'm giggling all over again.

PinkAsphaltMama said...

And Hulk also looks like a ZOMBIE! BRAAIIIINNNNSSS!

WV: glerstu. Batman sure glerstu much on that third cake.

jo said...

yikes! LOL I just saw what made Hulk so naughty!

the frisky trio is still my favorite though. it's just too wild! poor Ryder....glad someone got a picture of the cake before it was sliced and diced!

Anonymous said...

The "trio" is definatly a wreck, superman is DC not marvel.....Oh wait, I see it now, *snickers*

Anonymous said...

LOL. Twice. I showed my husband. Got multiple wide-eyed shocks out of him.
He also thought the second one was Swamp Thing.
That dynamic threesome was amazing!
Your comments are perfect.
Alex

Sami said...

LOL the kid's name is Ryder! That's hilarious!!

Christine said...

ROFLMAO @ Rachel! I was like, "She got the words wrong - it's supposed to be 'bud' to rhyme with "bloo- BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Monkey Pudding said...

just wait until that kid grows up... when he'll see pics of his cake.

Priscilla said...

hyuk hyuk hyuk... jeez innocent little cakes and...

Anonymous said...

It doesn't say HAPPYE BIRTHDAY ANNIVERSARY...it says HAPPY BIRTHDAY & ANNIVERSARY. Not sure that's any better.

I have to go rinse my eyes out with soap now.

Barbara Anne said...

what do you mean "obviously" for that alleged Batman cake?!? clearly, it's the Swamp Thing after losing a battle with a Norelco shaver driven by Satan...er, Santa!

Kimberly said...

All I think when I look at the first one is: His Spidey senses must've been tingling...

Arlene said...

Stares hard at that second cake.. Batman you say. Hmmm keeps staring until eyes blur. Could be the Phantom for all I see lol. I don't think the wreckerator would know Batman if he snuck up and bit them then again something had to have attacked this wreckerator.. and that Hulk looks a bit constipated no wonder he is tense poor guy lol.

Anonymous said...

nuh uh, the 2nd cake looks like the creature from the black lagoon!

Anonymous said...

I thought the Spiderman cake was pretty funny, but then I literally burst out laughing at the Hulk cake. O-M-G!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed the mixing of Marvel and DC on the same cake. I mean, aside from the obvious (and hilarious) irony of the kid's name being "Ryder" these worlds do not mix. It's like a wreck within a wreck. haha.

mutti said...

I love the spidy one...

Justyne said...

Cake 2 is the swamp thing and obviously his swamp is polluted because he looks to be a tad on the poo side.

Heather said...

For the life of me I couldn't figure out the 2nd cake...I thought it was the swamp thing, too. Yet, immediately, my 7 yo says "That's a really bad Batman!". I still can't figure out how he got it!

Sinistra Looming said...

LMAO I always knew I had a dirty mind, but these cakes had me blushing. Please tell me non of these where made for kids. LOL

It is bad that I would love to get one of these for my next party. LOL

tardis-stowaway said...

The last cake had me laughing so hard that I was no longer making any noise, just sort of shaking and nearly asphyxiating from an overdose of mirth. It's like someone made a cake of a particularly kinky fanfic!

Bryna said...

The third cake is the Ambiguously Gay Trio! :)

WeyMama said...

Somehow I don't see the wreck in the first one, maybe it's my monitor. What's in the web?

wv: redis

I think my friends should redis...they would laugh too.

WeyMama said...

Oh wait...ok. As someone else pointed out, though, the web placement would be fairly appropriate if Spidey WERE an actual spider...yeah. Wrecked. *L*

My new WV was also pretty good...

WV: sanist

These bakers were certainly not the sanist bunch of people.

Anonymous said...

I thought the second cake was supposed to be Venom. *shrugs*

afterthoughtcomposer said...

hahaha...oh man. this was funny. and sooo...inappropriate? thank you.

Paul said...

The hulk cake says "Happy Birthday & Anniversary", not Happy Birthdaye.

Lauren said...

I guess the DC heroes really do hate the Marvel heros. Poor Spidy.

blueboysarego said...

The silver one is possibly the worst cake I have seen - it looks like it has a bad case of bathroom mould.
Blueboysarego

Procrastinateher said...

Ha. The "Batman" cake is much more obvious to anybody who has spent time running around in a "gimp suit" during a certain Grand Theft Auto game.
The Hulk seems to be missing a hand, so I thought he was doing something other than um, giving himself a hand... oh wait, I guess that still counts.
My captcha says "Syclizz". Sounds like a suss superhero name that might find themselves in the same battle as Orgasmo. I don't know why.

Anonymous said...

For some reason Superman's mascara made me think he was crying the first time I looked at that last cake.

Added a whole new dimension of drama to the thing...

Craig said...

Spiderman wants everyone to think he's a DC character.

That Hulk cake must have been created by a master baker. With that out of the way...

Having a combined celebration is a wreck in itself (in a 'less cake' sense, ok?).

An anniversary (let alone birthday) cake depicting the Hulk 'getting a grip' is multi-dimensionally wrong. It's like an error fractal (pattern that repeats on many scales).

Poor Hulk -- obviously he's not master of his domain.

Shayna said...

Ummm... wow. It's too bad. That last cake could have been super. I think the wreckerator was just put into a bad position.

Anonymous said...

The super trio cake (last one) is very finely detailed and drawn, for having come probably from a supermarket. It would not have been a Cake Wreck at all ... if only there had been better ... positioning of the heroes?

Haiku Joy said...

Think of the children!
We people are horrible!
These were made with love!