Monday, May 10, 2010

Proud Mamas

Monday, May 10, 2010

It was Mother's Day yesterday.

(I'll pause here to allow some of you to dash off to the phone and/or flower shop.)

Now, moms are usually the ones to teach us that it's the thought that counts. So what do you suppose these add up to?

Which is the greater crime: the misspelling, or that color combination? I mean, I can't say I've ever actually seen purple vomit, but I'm sure that's the right shade for it.


Ah, so close.


This flotsam manufacturer failed to realize that their backwards "s" looks a lot like an "a":

Arguably more accurate?



Anther (n): "the part of a stamen that contains the pollen"

Hm. I think I'll let you make the joke. ;)


Maybe if we stick to the simplest, shortest words possible:


*facepalm*

Fine. Can we go shorter than this?


Ah, there it is! Much better.


Although, John calls his mom "Mum." You know, not like this:

She'll feel special because it's this week's Special! And also because there's something that looks almost exactly as unlike a heart as humanly possible drawn on it.


Or, for you teenage girls out there, how about spelling out the thing you say most to Mom?

All it needs is an exclamation point and an eye roll.

(Yes, I know it's for a godmother. I just can't look at it without hearing the daughter on Modern Family. Heh.)


Holly W., Rory M., Anne M., Robyn O., Mercy G., Robyn E., Jared N., & Joanna C., you've made your moms proud today. (I think.) Great work.
Taylor said...

I have seen purple vomit. The cake decorator nailed it.

Tricia L said...

The Mum cake is also a "Fresh Mud Cake". Nothing says I Love You like wet dirt, at least that's what my cat thinks.

Karasu said...

"Mun"

....

I like that!!

I'm going to start calling my own mother that and insisting that my own (adult) child call me "Mun" as well. ^_-

(Okay - it may be "Mum". but I could swear it says "Mun")

Trevor said...

I'm totally bummed I didn't see my wrecks at the grocery store until Sat. I'm still sending them to you for another Mother's Day post.

Cara said...

I read that last one as "Cod Mother." I... was confused. It seemed a little fishy to me.

Michelle S said...

Those are great! Made me laugh out loud!! Especially the `facepalm` =)

Gary said...

Well, I hope all you Muns, Momys, and Beat Moms (complete with beret, bongos, and espresso?) had a happy Mother's Day.

Hmm, "Momy" ... the Spanish word for "mummy" (as in a preserved dead person) is "momia." Do you think ... Nah, probably not.

tfofurn said...

I, like Cara, saw a "C" instead of a "G". I thought it would be perfectly wrecky if the cake order was for "MOTHER" and the "COD" on the order slip was to indicate that it hadn't been paid for yet.

Jessica - One Shiny Star said...

We didn't have cake. We make PIE!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I think you need to start a new blog called Facepalm. Kind of like Fail but funnier.

Mary Connealy said...

I have to say the 1# cake LOOKS delicious. That rich dark chocolate.

And of course we'll be in a huge hurry to cut it...to minimze the number of people who can read it, so that cake is a success...well, SUCCESS might be a little strong.

:)

Viiriäinen said...

The misspelling on the second cake is not that bad, they just missed one little apostrophe...

"World's greatest's Mom" has truly succeeded in raising a child with a healthy self-esteem.

Stella said...

The squiggle mom writing and the god mother cracked me up because those would be the ones my kids would get me. And yes, they would be using the exclamation mark on the last one. : )

The Black Dog said...

This is why sometimes it's easier to send flowers than to buy a cake from these places. However, now I wonder if there's a Flower Wrecks site.

Donna M. said...

I saw "COD MOTHER" on the last one too :)

I saw the best cookie wreck at work yesterday, poo-icing bears! I saw that and wanted to buy it myself just to send a picture, and somebody else bought it (after the baker marked it down) before I could even take a picture. :(

Saralyn said...

I think that first cake is for all the Tommy James and the Shondells fans out there (or Billy Idol fans, depending on your age):

"Ooh I love you Momy, Mo, Mo, Momy ..."

Chasmosaur said...

For the last cake:

I think that's actually supposed to be "Fairy God Mother". Note the Tinkerbell-ish figure next to the "God".

Doesn't excuse it's wreckiness of design, but my Godmother has always called herself my "Fairy Godmother", so yeah, I picked up the reference immediately.

MissWoodhouse said...

I agree with what Taylor said- having been witness to purple vomit (tip for mothers- avoid the prune baby food), that is the EXACT shade. And trust me, that's not a sight you forget fast. *she says 15 years after the sighting*

Great post, as always! :)

Anonymous said...

I can just hear the kid presenting the 1# cake to his mom:

Kid: "1 number mom! That's all we needed and that Powerball jackpot could have been ours. But noooo you went with little Timmy's birthday instead of mine. So here'e you stinkin cake for Mother's Day and it's all your getting because now it's all I can afford. 1 number and it could have been a Bentley!"

Decadent Housewife said...

Purple puke exists.
This mother has witnessed it.

SwirlyPants said...

Your version of "God Mother" would also need a comma. But seeing as how this is called Cake Wrecks and all, maybe you're just setting up a future post?

John and Sarah Sperry said...

The sixth one looks like it was piped by a monkey.

Scarlett Robyn said...

World's Greatest Momy? Seriously?

Anonymous said...

I think the pone with the bear was done that way on purpose to look like a child's writing. The rest.. horrible

Elizabeth said...

Hey Taylor - I saw purple vomit once too! Cafeteria at Lewis Elementary School, Houston, Texas, about 1965ish. Were you there? I agree, the decorator nailed it.

cyn_teacher said...

I thought for sure the last cake said "cod mother".

dietplaid said...

Oh moms. They deal with everything from vomit to bad cakes.

Ken said...

I suspect that ALL mother's day cakes (wrecks or not) starting today will have the "This Week's Special" sticker on them. It is a much worse idea that buying next year's Christmas presents on sale the week after Christmas.

Oh Honey! Look, I found the cake I bought you last year on sale and forgot where I had put it away.

Anonymous said...

You've never seen purple vomit? What-- you didn't drink Purple Passion in college??

Poultrygeist said...

Doesn't "1 # Mom" translate to "One Sharp Mom"? Seems to me we have a musical genius working in the bakery.

Anonymous said...

What blows my mind about "World's Greatests Mom" is that that looks like double-layered icing, which means the decorator would have had to go over it twice and STILL didn't notice the error.

That, or maybe there is some other kind of icing that I don't understand. But still!

Kimberly Chapman said...

Not that we officially do Mother's Day or Father's Day in our house, but if any kid of mine was going to give me a cake, it really would mean so much more if they made it themselves. Then any wreckiness would be adorable instead of facepalmy.

WV: boastrap.

*dirty joke potential overload*
*brain shutdown commencing*
.................
NO CARRIER

sendingtheclowns said...

Just wondering when decorators started using Silly String ("MOM" thing) ..which happens to be inedible, but I'm being way too picky. At least it's *only* $6.00 "WITH YOUR BONUS CARD." What a deal.
1* Mom...(Cake? Cookie? Cow flop?)
Well, personally, I've been looking for what they REALLY want to say, as an asterisk generally indicates that there is some sort of something to be clarified. (Please~~ feel free to elaborate.)
=^=.=^=

Colleen said...

My 2 year old son does call me Mun, as he can't pronounce Mom yet, so that cake would've suited me fine!

angels-redagger said...

I have spewed purple vomit, and I can vouch that the wrecker got the colour so hideously correct....ick.

Aliza said...

I think the "mun" one would have been less wrecky if it were for Fathers Day!

(mun = yiddish for poppy seed. See, you're inspiring your readers to dish out half-baked bad puns ☺ )

Kim said...

This mom has also seen purple vomit. Stomach virus + grape-flavored fever-reducer.

I never realized there were so many ways to make purple vomit.

Shelly C. said...

LOL the reference to the daughter on Modern Family because that's exactly the voice I heard in my head when I saw that last cake. Too funny!

Goueznou said...

@Poultrygeist, thank you for that. I was reading it as "One-Pound Mom", which is just weird in too many ways.

BADKarma! said...

The cookie looks like what one of those last-minute shoppers I saw all day yesterday at Wal-Mart would snatch up off the bakery rack on the way home. Because nothing says "I love you, mom" like a stale cookie with sloppy frosting slapped on the top...

Maria said...

Maybe the 1# mom is just really, really, really skinny.

ladyrazorsharp said...

1# Mom. That's actually rather nice; I don't see any...

...Oh. Right. Here, I'll join you. *facepalm*

You know though, if other moms are like my mom, I could give her one of these atrocities and she'd STILL cry.

Jill said...

I've been checking out this website for way too long, because I was actually impressed that the decorator of "world's greatests mom" got the apostrophe right.

Anonymous said...

Wow. They would be cute if they were made by a small child for their relative, but "professionally" those are really very sad.

I once ordered a cake that came out so bad that I found an old cake decorator book and gave it to them to learn how to really make a professional cake. The manager was VERY upset with me. Not that I was worried, because I was certainly not ordering from them again after the horrible job they did.

sendingtheclowns said...

On the "Mom is anther word for love" cake, they can (theoretically) do a quickie fix on that (!) by just taking their (theoretical) pinkie finger and twirling that little curled upswing thing at the end of the "n," into a little "o." It won't be perfectly in line with the other letters, but it's the thought that counts (theoretically)! (SNORT)
Go on--give it the (proverbial) old college try! What have you got to lose, other than your (dubious) self respect?
=^~.-^=

lauren said...

I also saw Cod Mother.

On a grammatical note, my sister and I have been discussing whether it's "Mother's Day" or "Mothers' Day"... the thought being it would be "Mothers' Day" since it is a day belonging to all mothers.

Fanboy Wife said...

What did those mothers due to deserve those cakes?

Fluffy Cow said...

*eye roll*

Love it.

Oh, and WV? sheat

I can't make this stuff up...

Arlene said...

That last one if you look fast appears to say Cod Mother.. lol. Now that I would love to see someone present as a gift to their mom. As for the rest.. I think that purple vomit covers it for me for those. Ugh.

Caroline B said...

If you offend the Cod Mother, do you end up sleeping with the fishes?
Sorry......

DaMama said...

Interesting - when I saw the GOD MOTHER cake, I heard Lecy Goranson as Becky on Roseanne in my head. Funny that....

Tindi said...

@lauren: I can actually answer that! I saw an article yesterday (Sunday) about the woman who founded the holiday, Anna Jarvis. It's "Mother's Day" because she thought it made it more personal for the people celebrating their own individual mothers. :D

I have not seen purple vomit, either, and I'll just take the other commenters' words for it (and remember the tip about prune baby food later). I actually made my mom brunch on Mother's Day every year, since she's not a dessert person.

Pahz said...

My kids (all over the age of 16) call me "Mumsy" and I cringe at the Wreckabilities that it could spawn.

**Word verification**

"Monam"

I'm going to start calling my mother Monam.

Rob said...

Doesn't that cake say "1st Mom", not "1# Mom"? In which case it is spelled right, even if it is a slightly weird phrase.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Charlotte and Anna, on your bleeding hemorrhoids? Yeaggh.

lauren said...

@Tindi Thank you! That was really driving us crazy... I immediately called my sister and let her know, too.

Craig said...

Wreck 5: What are the 'decorations' supposed to be? And what poor soul has a one-pound mom?

W6 is probably intended to look like the work of a child. Or is, in which case one or more laws may have been broken...

W7. It's on special so that all that fresh mud isn't wasted, which might be more than can be said for some of these wreckerators. Is 'fresh' a selling point? Ugh. "Here, 'Mun' -- this ought to help you stick to your diet! After all, we 'heart' you!"

sleeplessnights04 said...

Ahhh, yes Modern Family totally - I can't even say it outloud without being snarky :oP

Anonymous said...

I think the chocolate one is actually right. It's a warning - it actually says "1* Nom". You might be thinking, om nom, that cake looks good. But no! Don't be fooled. it did not rate 5*. This is not the nom you are looking for.

Holly said...

I discovered the purple vomit momy cake. The part that wasn't mentioned that is even more confusing than the color, spacing, handwriting,and that its german chocolate (who puts words on german chocolate), is that I saw it in a grocery store in MARCH.

Lisa said...

Um, there must be different shades of purple vomit. Because that wasn't the shade I'm familiar with. My son eats lots of beets, and when he had phlegm... well, let's not go there!

Rawhide Almond Maché said...

All it needs is a comma, and that “God Mother” cake would be the greatest cake in the world!