For some reason, various unholy alliances of the words "graduation" and "congratulations" keep popping up:
Oh. Wait. Actually, that's almost correct. I wonder if someone forgot the "L."
To this I say: [rude noise].
Excuse me. [sound of head hitting desk repeatedly] This may be a while.
In the meantime, enjoy your cake with the bottle of urine/beer on it.
(Either way, someone's getting pissed.) (Because in Britain "pissed" = "drunk." See? I'm even funny in different languages.*)
Shelby, Angie M., Briana G., D.H., Pam G., & Anony M., Gradu...Congalu...Gradcon...Uh. Good job!
* Yes. We know.