Monday, May 17, 2010

Cakes For a Crowd

Monday, May 17, 2010

Okay, I get it. I know we're in a recession. I know we're all cutting corners to save some cash. I know we're all trying to shave precious minutes off our day so we can get home in time for LOST.

But can we stop sacrificing cake in order to save a few bucks? Can't we give every person his/her own special celebratory confection? (And for the love of Betty Crocker, whose idea was it to have less cake around during a party?)

Maybe it's because celebrating several things at once makes for a great party word-puzzle:

Just to recap: "Congrad Jonathan on 10th Congrad Wendy on 5pm & Happy Birthday IaKeia."
(Coincidentally, last time I celebrated my 10th and 5pm, I was at IKEA.)

Maybe it's because sometimes you need a reason to use up those extra office supplies:

And if you take a bite with a straight pin in it, you get to keep it!
(I guess when they told the bakery to "tack on" a few more names, they took it literally.)

Or maybe it's because busy cakes allow the decorator to hide unsightly monikers amongst a sea of names:


"Happy Birthday! Anica, Yvonne, An..." Whoa, whoa... what's that say??


Um...

{{scrubs eyes}}

Um...

I really want to crack a joke here, butt I don't want to say something tongue in cheek.
At least they didn't mistake it for art direction. [Rim shot!]


Congrad John M. on 12st, Congrad Lee B. at 9pm and, Laura D. on Happy Birthday Sam's Club!
Donkaloosa said...

I was hoping that it actually said something like "Iris," but no, it's "Anus." That takes the cake for being the worst name yet!

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

I really, really want to know what happened at 5pm, and why it deserved such celebration.

JamesterCK said...

The first one really had me confused. Why are they celebrating 5 PM? Is it happy hour? I was laughing so hard at the last one. Either Anus is a very unfortunate nickname or the person's name is really Enis and the wreckerator didn't bother clarifying.

jo said...

1) maybe they were ordering a pickup time? 2 (misspelled) graudation cakes and a birthday cake to be picked up on the 10th at 5 p.m. Or maybe they were supposed to be all on the same cake. still, 10th at 5pm I'm guessing is a pickup time. Or maybe they celebrate one graduation on the day, one at the time, and the birthday person, well, whatever for him/her. they couldn't even get his/her name right! Or maybe they were supposed to celebrate at IKEA too? IKEA employees? *shrug*

2) Please tell me those post its are on the cakebox and not STAPLED INTO THE ACTUAL CAKE. Poor Tom, Bert and Phil, forever known as "afterthoughts." MUST be an office party where they decided it was just too expensive to have six cakes (or three) and then realized, "oops, these three guys have birthdays this month too? what do we do? we already picked up the cake? here, grab those post-its. I have an idea...."

the monthly office birthday cake. how special.

3) ANUS?? LOL (maybe it was supposed to be AMOS)

*snicker* I love your theory!

kombat said...

That last one had me in tears!

Naomi Zikmund-Fisher said...

I keep trying to make that last one say Linus, but it just doesn't. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks!

Mike Owens said...

The first one... I think the order taker at the bakery had several people holding, but only one order slip left on the pad, so they wrote the info for three orders on a single order slip. Then...a wreckerator got ahold of the slip and in typical fashion, failed to separate the orders from one another, and just about everything else on the slip.

wiesoauchimmer said...

i was looking at the closeup of the post-it cake to see if maybe the bakery put little sugar/fondant notes on it because they didn't manage to fit all names because i couldn't believe someone would actually pin paper on a cake. with metal pins even. but sadly the one in the upper right corner has a little fat soaked up already. it is paper *shakes head in disbelief*

and for Anus... maybe the poor girl's name is Agnes and the wreckator tried to make up for the forgotten "g" with an extra line after the n?

Tiffany said...

Gee, I always felt like everyone in the office always forgot about me.... at 5 pm....

Just - wow....

Caitlin said...

But 'rim shot' isn't italicized? That's the best joke of them all!

Momcat said...

I nominate that first cake for the cover of your next book...there's gotta be a next book, right?

WV: midedle "maybe Anus is one of those midedle names like Galahad and Gawain."

Vickie said...

The wreckorator who did the Post-it note cake also was also too lazy to make up a new batch of dark pink frosting, as seen by the fade from pink to white along the edge and the rose at the bottom. Tom, Bert and Phil lose again.

Bekah said...

I am choosing to believe that someone just misread "Avis" on the list of names to be put on the cake.


Believing this way helps my internal organs stop trying to leap out of my body in an attempt to be further away from the computer screen. Now, they're just uneasily quivering in place.

Ay yi yi yi yi...

Drawn to Caricature said...

That'll have people thinking twice before calling their sons Angus!

Gary said...

I know someone named Anu, but no one named Anus.
Come to think of it, I know another guy whose birth name was Adrianus, but he shortened it to Ad, because, well, guess why.

If you're name's Anus, you have the best case for changing your name I've heard yet.

Then there's my friend Titsu, who prefers to be known as "Sue." (Titsu apparently doesn't mean anything smutty in Japanese.)

Gary said...

May I repeat my poem from last week's Anatomy Day?

I've never met an anus cake;
I never hope to meet one;
But I can tell you here and now,
I'd rather meet than eat one.

Galadriel said...

My birthday is less than a week away from hubby's. His mom gets us two cakes every year. I think I am more grateful now.

Can you imagine how badly they might misspell "Galadriel" if they were trying to squeeze it in somewhere and combine it with something else?

Nancy McGill said...

Okay, two comments here. One, those straight pins? They look AWFULLY similar to the pins used to hold back skin, etc. in dissections. Ewwwww. Two, I'm going to guess the pink and black cake has a misspelling of "Angus". At least, I really really hope so.

Anonymous said...

We really should delve to the bottom of why poor Anus has to share a cake instead of having a whole one (or even piles of them) to his or her self.

It seems rather potty that he or she should be discommoded in this cheeky manner.

Let us hope he or she is keeping the lid on this base incident and that it can soon be wiped from his or her memory.

Candace said...

That is crazy... I also would like to know what happened at 5pm... and 10th... 10th what!? I am full of suspense.

Also... The "Anus" one... the person's name could have been Amos, and it's hard to hear n's and m's on the phone? lol. Either way... makes for a good crack- I mean, cake-wreck.

;)

Stella said...

Those name tags on the second cake. I don't think I woulda thought of that. I won't comment on the bum name.

Jamie Spaulding said...

Going down the list of comments, I see many suggestions for what poor Anus is really called, and strangely *no two are alike.* I see Iris, Amos, Linus, Agnes, Avis, Agnus, and Anu, and I feel no closer to resolution!

*What could it be?*

Personally, I'm going to throw my vote behind Amos. If it was a phone order, I can understand how someone might hear "anus," but I *can't* understand why they wouldn't immediately ask for clarification.

Cara said...

Perhaps the saddest thing about the Post-it/t-pin cake is that a creative wreckerator could fit those names into the spaces around the existing names. At least this one wasn't the wreckerator's fault, though.

Christina Gardner said...

All I can think about is how everyones teeth, lips and tongue is going to look after eating all that spectacular black icing...UCK!

That last name might be Angus with out the g? Maybe? Hopefully?

Kellerwoman said...

When news and cakes collide... I guarantee you Jonathan the producer was promoted to the 10pm news, Wendy took over the 5pm show, and the big boss remembered at the last minute that Inkaneia the Sports Intern had a birthday coming up.

Stephanie said...

Somebody please tell me that last one wasn't the person's real name...

Debbi said...

ANUS?
Really?
Are you kidding me????

Pamela said...

I'm voting for "Ames" on the last one. Please, please, please...

Dorci said...

lol....oh, Jen. I love ya.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for helping me name future kids-- any name ending in "-us" is now out of the running, since the bakeries of the world can't be trusted to not, um, "go there."

Jaymie said...

I honestly think Anus is Aniss or Anise...

Elia said...

Anus and Anas are actually moderately popular Pakastani men's names. Yeah, I know. If it makes you feel better, it's not pronounced the same, although I'd probably go by something else if that was my name and I lived in an English speaking country.

Rob W. said...

I think the real reason we have this mashup with 10th at 5pm on it is because the wrecker had consumed a 5th at 10am.

PWatters said...

We knew a little boy named Anus. At the end of his first day of school the principal took the parents aside, showed them the word in the dictionary and a nickname was agreed to and used from then on.

Giana said...

I love the first one! It is so fabulously wrecky that I must have it for my anniversary cake. Maybe I'll get super lucky and they bakery will wreck up even more!

de Pizan said...

This is really reaching, but I'm wondering if Anus was supposed to be Anne? The u looks like the Wreckerator's n only kind of sloppy, and the s is almost like an unfinished e.
And the first cake, well maybe they're Ikea workers, not only celebrating Ikea's birthday, but also promotions. Jonathan's been promoted to the coveted aisle 10 duty, and Wendy's now shift supervisor starting at 5pm.......ok so I've got nothing.

Susie said...

How does anyone ever find that many people with birthdays within the same month? Or do they do one party per YEAR?

Mary Connealy said...

YEESH! My daughter KATY is upset that I didn't spell her name KATIE.

At least I didn't name her after an extremely unmentionable body part.

I think I'll phone her now and demand an apology under the "It could have been worse" clause of the mother/daughter contract.

Connie Moreno said...

Holy crap, that was hilarious!

Korrie said...

ROFLMAO!!! That last one was probably somewhere in Texas and the baker mistook a name like "Ennis" for "Anus" because of the accent!! hahahahaha!

Chrissy said...

Bwahahaha! That is hysterical! Thank you for a much needed laugh on a dreary Monday morning in the midwest!

amberpcountis said...

Love the post-it notes! I'll have to remember that one...plus that's a little extra fiber and less sugar if you eat that piece, right?!

Anonymous said...

"it's like a word puzzle!" LOL

maybe it's a clue in some sort of office party mystery game....

Megan said...

I <3 you, cake wrecks.

Princess Judy said...

Hey! Our office just got the same May Birthday cake as Anus. No one had their name misspelled though, but there was a couple of people we forgot about so if only.... if only, we had thought about the Post-It Notes!!! If only!

Jennifer F. said...

I think Anus could possibly be Anna but the wreckerator wanted to be fancy with the last a and it ended up looking like an s.

Rose_N_Crantz said...

Oh! thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! I work at a grocery store and I have to do at least one cake a day with like 10 names squeezed on it! After a while I've tried suggesting to them that perhaps we should just go with "Happy Birthday" rather than try to list everyone because of space issues. That doesn't stop a lot of them.

Or we get the ones that say "Happy Birthday Josh, Love Mom and Dad!" It's not a letter or a card people, it's a cake.

Does anyone else think any writing on a cake is kinda tacky? I can see if it's something cute, once for a baby shower cake I wrote "Which will it be, a he or a she?" because they didn't know what the sex was. But most of the time, I try to leave writing off of a cake. My thoughts are everyone already knows why they're there, why does the cake have to remind them?

ladycrim said...

I celebrate 5pm on a daily basis ...

Fluffy Cow said...

Happy Tom, Birthday Bert!!!

And Anus too!!!!

*snicker*

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Vickie:
That "fade" or *ombre* effect is intentional! I've seen it in stores many times recently; it must be the hotular thing now.
Anyway, Why don't we relax and just admire the *satiny* effect on the roses...the Genuine Curling Ribbon embedded in the frosting...actual metal staples used on the name tags (so they can't blow away!)...and the elegant script-work of the names of those who WEREN'T afterthoughts?

=^e.e^=

Anonymous said...

I work at a grocery store bakery and the things some people want me to cram on a cake, it's laughable. There was one guy who wanted a cake to split between three people's birthdays. He got the smallest cake because he was cheap, had me put a spiderman skit on it (which is bigger then the cake itself BTW) and had me write all three of their full names. I regret never taking a picture of it. It was so ridiculous. lol

The Black Dog said...

This just makes me glad that when it is my turn for the monthly office birthday party that I don't have to personalize the cakes.

Aliza said...

No-one's commented on the first cake's other wrecky aspect... the "congrad"! Maybe Jonathan came 10th in a big, important competition, and Wendy's just thrilled when 5 p.m. rolls around and she's off for the day? And anybody got a guess what name "Iakeia" could be, assuming it was a person not the store?

With the black icing and the streamers... why not add some post-its to an office cake. They're a key work-related item! Um, yeah.

As for poor Anus... given the spelling of the other names, I suspect this is correct, and it's someone who was named in a different country where the name is perfectly fine. As someone with a name that's unpronouncable to most Anglophones, I can sympathize. Although, if my name was so unfortunate in the language of my chosen country, that's what middle-names, nicknames, or legally changed names are for!!

Jodi said...

I can't decide if it's worse to have wrecked someone's name into Anus, or that it was supposed to read "Anns" for the multiple Anns in the office. Not only do the Anns have to share their birthday cake with the other birthdayers, they don't even get noted individually! Yeesh. Maybe our office policy of ignoring all birthdays, anniversaries, etc. isn't so bad after all.

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Vickie:

I believe that the faded, or "ombre" effect there is intentional--it seems to be the hotular thing at stores in my area.

Why don't we relax and enjoy the fine points of this thing? For example, we can admire the copious use of REAL curling ribbon embedded in the frosting, and the satiny sheen of those roses...looks just like someone licked them, because they're so yummy.

Then there is the diligent use metal staples to hold the name tags on (so as not to blow away~~we know how breezy it can get in the bakery dept.)

Finally, we can appreciate the work that went into the fine script on those whose names WEREN'T important. There. Don't you feel better now?

=^e.e^=

Anonymous said...

Anus? Was he so named because he was born with an enematic smile?


Have we now scraped the bottom of the barrel and reached the very end of the cake wreck humour?

Or will there be more bringing up the rear?

(at least there's no problem wigh where to stick the candles!)

Anonymous said...

Poor Anna.

Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy said...

Gotta love the laziness of the Post It notes and stick pins!

Anonymous said...

You should do a post for Sunday Sweets on LOST themed cakes! Happy Losting! Mmm...sounds like frosting.. :)

sendingtheclowns said...

WTH?
What happened was , when I went to post my comment, I got a message thingy that said there was some sort of "ERROR." So, I did it over (a bit different 'cause I couldn't remember what I did the first time).
Disregard one or the other...or BOTH!!
Look, I'm REALLY not schizophrenic, here!
Neither am I!

=^@.@^=
=^e.e^=

Astrid said...

Ha! LOL, even I get teased about my name so I can only imagine what it's like for An-... Um... Let's just say Angus

BADKarma! said...

I think perhaps that was supposed to be "Angus"... I hope...

Wolvie Girl said...

Poor Anus. I also felt sorry for poor old Kank.

Anonymous said...

my middle name is ANISE and I have had the misfortune of having this mispelling...and this is why no one calls me by my middle name anymore :)

Smitha said...

One more possibility on the last one: Anush, which is a male name in India. (It's pronounced ah-Noosh.) Let's not forget that not every name out there is of American origin, and that words or names that have humorous/unfortunate meanings in English do not translate the same way elsewhere. :)

Kay said...

That poor wreckerator! She didn't realize what she wrote until she got to Michael's name & saw what she wrote above! Wonder why she didn't fix it? Maybe she thought no one would notice??
Oops, gotta go. Time to watch last week's LOST episode again. Has anyone made an island smoke monster cake yet? Yummy - lots of black icing!
WV: tints - I'm really tints about how LOST is going to end!

carmiehead said...

Wait... seriously... "RIM shot"? Wow!

Winter said...

It says Anna. The second 'n' is sloppy, and the 'a' is akward, but it does say Anna.

Kaede said...

Waay back when I first was a teacher, my school had just gotten it's first group of Vietnamese refugees as students. One of my students name was F*ck.

Leslie said...

Could it be "Avis"?

Anonymous said...

I love it-I am still hoping that Anus was a misprint

~Nikki~ said...

Hilarious! I noticed the Anus as well.




check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Hippie2MARS said...

The pins on cake 2 are actually T-pins, commonly used in workplaces whose office and workstations are actually constructed from fabric panels, a la "Office Space".

C & A said...

What I want to know is, how in the heck, being the ONLY girl out of seven celebratees, did Ginger luck out with the hot pink cake, when the other six were guys? Chin scratcher...

regina in oz said...

I GOT IT!!
It was a contest on when baby Iakeia would arrive. Jonathan guessed the date and Wendy guesses the time. They won a cake.

Arlene said...

I cannot believe, ok maybe I can, that there is someone out there with the name of Anus.. oh come on wreckerators! I think the person decorating that cake had a bit much to drink and said the heck with it when she/he couldn't read the names to put on the cake. I fear for whoever picked up that cake.

Tricia L said...

You know we spend too much time reading Cake Wrecks when it takes til 2:20pm for anyone to mention "Congrads". I guess everyone figured, "Oh, yeah, did that last week. Could have been worse."

By the way, I like the Post-It Notes cake idea. Not the actual paper and T-pins, but I can just see future cakes with little fondant sticky notes and piped pins. A great idea for these multi-celebration cakes.

At an office I managed, we did away with the birthday cake thing entirely. It was just too much trouble to gather donations, order, pick up, etc., as well as even remember that it was someone's birthday. So I instituted "If it's your birthday, you bring the donuts day." Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like a box of Krispy Kreme. Um, donuts.

Latina said...

I LOVE Cake Wrecks! If I ever need a laugh I can find it here. Thank you!!

Goueznou said...

"To take arms against a sea of names, and by opposing, Wreck them"

I too thought it might be Anna. I do feel bad for someone saddled with Anus, though: even if it's pronounced "a noose", it still sounds like "a noose". But I guess morbid is better than gross.

By the way, if you take it as archaic Latin, tori amos can mean "doughnut love"! (Well, sort of.)

kittenpie said...

That's what happens when your coworkers think you're an asshole.

Angela T. said...

I think Anus actually supposed to say Anna lol

Marcie said...

Our work used to do an individual cake for each person's birthday. We were once a very small company that suddenly grew into a public company. Before they finally switched to group cakes, we were having cake two or three times a week every week. It was insane! As a company we were collectively becoming closer to obesity, heart problems, and type II diabetes.

Now we do cake once a month for all occasions where cake should be celebrated (for the most part). It, as you have shown with this post, has created new issues with celebrating in the work place.

Gaffigan fans: "It's Bill's birthday!"
"I hate that guy."
"There's cake in the conference room!"
"Well, I should say hello."

Mucey said...

I have to agree with C & A. Out of all those wrecks, what I'm wondering about is why the hot pink/flowery cake when only one of the names is female? Silly, I know, but it's bugging me!

Elizabeth said...

why, oh WHY do I wait to read your blog until nighttime when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep- I laugh waayyy too loudly and nearly wake everyone up! You crack me up!!!

Blue Sarah said...

This post inspired a wreck-tastic dream last night. I was in a bakery and of the four pre-decorated cakes all four of them were wrecks. I was hopping with excitement and borrowed a camera from a total stranger so I could document. Only then did I see the "No Photos" sign and the owner of the establishment peering round with suspicion.

Anonymous said...

To those questioning the pink-to-female ratio: seriously, some of those guys could be gay. You don't know. In fact, all of them could be, for all we know.

BabeeLove said...

ROTFLMAO! I LOVE the last one...to funny...I can't believe some of the mistakes these decorators make.

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know that Anus/Anis is an Arabic boy's name.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering about the pink icing on the cake too. I'm thinking it was the cake in the display.

Melissa said...

I think the name is supposed to be Arius, and they forgot to dot the i. (Maybe?)

Anonymous said...

I think the name on the cake was "Anna." It's just that the wreckerater had a huge problem with penmanship and that last A looks like an "s" while the middle n looks like a "u." I know it's a late post, but I thought I might ease someone's mind. : )

truthfinder2 said...

I have also encountered the feminine name "Annis", and was momentarily unsure how to pronounce it. Right after the birth of our third child, I overheard with horror (through the curtain drawn around my bed) the name bestowed on the innocent baby girl in the next bed. Hospital employee: "What name do you want on the birth certificate?" Proud Mom: "VaJeanna" Employee: "Um, how do you spell that?" Mom: "V-A-G-I-N-A"!