Two words:"plausible deniability." Let's all practice together, shall we?
When this shows up for Beth's birthday:
"Yes, Kyle, we ARE celebrating your going away, but, uh...wait. 'Celebrating' is the wrong word. See, there's no exclamation mark, so it's a sad thing. Try reading it in a sad voice."
Oh, too soon for jokes? Yeah? Yeah. Ewwww kay."
"Vicky, I can explain. See, at first we thought it WAS your birthday, but then Joe thought maybe it wasn't, so we called the bakery, and...Vicky? Where are you going? Don't you want some cake? AAAACK!!
[wiping cake from eyes] "Well, I understand if that's how you feel about it. Joe, could you come over here, please? I have your piece of cake ready."
Beau S., Kyle C., Laura P., & Amanda P., I mean this sincerely: of all my Wreckporters, you guys are the latest.