Aw, now there's a warm welcome.(And if you think an overly enthusiastic volunteer fire brigade might spell disaster, you're wrong. It spells "neiborhood.")
Baptism, baseball...they both involve dunking, right?[UPDATE: I have just been informed that baseball does not, in fact, have dunking. Apparently that's hockey. My bad.]
Ah, Niko. That boy is creeping up on death like a herd of geriatric turtles. Why, it seems like only yesterday you were playing with Thomas the Tank Engine, huh, Niko? Maybe because it WAS only yesterday, but still.(No, the 5 is not a typo; this really was for a fifth birthday party.)
Whoops, Karen T., Karen G., & Tammy C., apparently geriatric turtles come in flocks.
- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals
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106 comments | Post a Comment
Wow. I think "neiborhood" offends me the most.
WTF @ the 5th birthday cake!!! Creeps me out and makes me sad at the same time.
Well at least you know you'll be safe when your new house "accidentally" catches on fire.
Maybe Niko is an emo toddler.
Oh, no! The G and the H have already burned!
What are those black balloon things on the Niko's bday cake?
On that last one, I'm going to extend the benefit of the doubt to the wreckerator in question and hazard a guess that the Niko cake recipient is a fan of the Percy Jackson books, which have a character named Nico who is the son of Hades. Hence the death?
Is that a scene from the Incredibles in the last one? If so... WHY that scene for the cake? What the heck? ha ha ha!
When did Darth Vader become the Grim Reaper?
The first cake, sans misspelling, would be perfect for my new neighbor. I first met him when he set his backyard on fire from burning cardboard boxes. He's getting a fire extinguisher for a housewarming gift...
"Warm welcome"! ROFL
does this "neiborhood" have an arson problem? is this how the mob intimidates new neighbors? or neibors? there's no poiple this time....
Happy? Happy what? or maybe Erik is just happy. Happy to play baseball. or go to a game. or idolize a player. (btw, dunking is BASKETBALL. or so I'm told. ;p ) if only babies were really dunked at baptisms, too. it could be more entertaining. and messier.
Niko--concerns me. are those bloody cannonballs? why is the Grim Reaper on a FIVE year old's birthday cake? Does he have a dark streak or does someone have it in for Niko? What was the name on that "Happy Last Birthday" cake again???
Actually, I'm pretty sure the Niko birthday cake is a Percy Jackson and the Olympians reference. There's a kid whose name is Niko who is a demigod and ...
(BOOK 3 SPOILER ALERT)
a child of the god Hades. If this 5yo Niko is a fan of the books, then it makes sense.
And Geek fans, if you haven't read Rick Riordan's books, I highly HIGHLY recommend. Not great literature or anything, but addictive fun action-packed fantasy.
It's even worse the word "Baptism" was written under the guy's crotch, and in yellow!
Notice how the bloody cannonballs have landed on and obscured the word "happy." Well, Erik may be "happy" but poor Niko...I hope this isn't HIS "last birthday."
There's even BONES on the cake. *shudder*
Cake caption: "How to tell if your parents don't 'like' you...."
Maybe the people in the first one are new fire fighters? Just stretching here (and boy, that IS a stretch).
The second one is wrecky on many levels. I didn't even SEE the "baptism" for the longest time, due to the yellow on yellow.
Um, that last one? Poor kid. I hope he's dealing with his last birthday okay. Seriously, isn't that kind of cruel?
Scrap Happy Erik and this post could be "How to tell if your neighbors (or parents) don't like you."
wv: trama
These cakes could make someone suffer some trama!!
The ballplayer had me asking, what does that have to do with baptism? Then I enlarged the photo and saw that "Baptism" is actually written in yellow on a yellow background near the middle of the cake. Besides the zero-contrast color set, it may not have been the best idea to write "Baptism" right under the pitcher's buttocks and crotch ...
YUM. Black Icing! You can use the scythe to cut the cake and the bowling balls to- oh never mind... a lovely Friday selection!
Ok well now Im depressed...5th Birthday cake??? Come on!
Actually (pedantic librarian hat on), the proper collective noun for turtles is a 'bale'. Neither herd nor flock.
(We stumped a guide at the aquarium with that one, then had to look it up when we had internet signal again. So it's stuck in my mind.)
Were they trying to get the word "baptism" as close as possible to the guy's crotch? Because there's no other explanation for the placement.
Poor kid. I hope there's some kind of explanation for that cake - like the kid loves Halloween a lot or some such thing.
BTW, turtles come in "bales". Don't ask me why, they just do.
Apparently Niko is going to be crushed by giant, shiny black orbs.
That's the first thing I noticed about the baptism cake as well--the indicative color, the curious placment of the word...written in script no less (I'll add no commentary about the tendency of kids to "write their name" if you follow), to the fact that they guy even has a leg hiked--just makes me wonder if the baptism in question was a "sprinkling".
WV=cousi (cuz-zy): the son or daughter of your parent's brother or sister who had an affair with your spouse.
USAGE: "I knew my first cousin Sarah was hanging around my husband an awful lot...that cousi!"
Thanks, people! I didn't even SEE the word baptism. After several references I zoomed in on the picture.
But still, if a kid is being baptized, how is he already a baseball fan? Wouldn't he still be an infant in most churches? or is dad a baseball egomaniac? or did Erik just make the team and is therefore "baptized" into the sport? (Run, Erik! Here comes the Gatorade!)
I was going to ask if the Niko cake was not a reference to the Percy Jackson series (Yeah, SO WHAT? I LIKE TEEN FICTION!), too, but Lili effect and Anonymous beat me. Still, love it!
I thought the 2nd cake just said Happy Erik... it took me awhile to find the bright yellow crotch Baptism.
Maybe the Grim Reaper isn't about death.
Maybe it's his favorite...action figure? Maybe it's from a Happy Meal?
Maybe he's a very MATURE five.
So glad that other people commented on the yellow baptism - golden shower connotation
Happy Baptism? This is an occasion where naked baby carrot jockeys would make a lot more sense. Huh.
My thought was that maybe Niko is a hamster? Like the one Janet Evanovich has been putting in her Stephanie Plum novels for about 15 YEARS? (Take THAT, Niko!)
So glad that other people have also noticed the yellow baptism/golden shower connotation. I'm not completely weird!
These are all very wrecky today! My first thought with Erik's cake is that all the guests are going to have blue teeth, tongues, and lips - not a good look. The local high school's colors are navy blue and white, so imagine all the graduation cakes which leave their "mark" on everyone who eats them - eewww!!!!
Never read Percy Jackson, but that's the most reasonable explanation for Niko's cake - otherwise, he better have a lookout when he sleeps at night!
There is dunking in baseball when you are trying to trigger a dunking booth lever!
Maybe the baseball player is pitching at the Baptism dunk-tank.
I totally get the last cake. Death and bowling always go hand in hand for me, too.
Well, um... I don't see anything wrong with that last cake. But then again, when I was five, I was a zombie cheerleader. :/ My mom would never let me have a grim reaper cake. D:
Oh, and I think the deke in hockey, not dunk... you dunk in basketball...
I have a vague idea for the birthday cake... "Niko" is also the name of a character in the Percy Jackson series; he's the son of Hades. Maybe the 5 year old really likes those books? You know, the books meant for middle schoolers?
...Yeah, I don't know.
Poor Niko.
That is one scary cake!
And if it is a Percy Jackson cake, it's not a very good one. Hades and Death are two very different people.
WV: runats- What Niko did when he saw his cake!
Well, now, baseball can involve dunking... if you're throwing baseballs in order to send the funny clown plunging into the dunking tank.
Which would be a fun idea for a church fair. "Step right up! Step right up! Be the first to throw the baseball that sends the lucky acolyte into the Blood of the Lamb! Step right up! Who wants to baptize this child of Jesus?"
Here's a thought on the baseball/baptism cake: Maybe its one of those dunking booths at the fair, from the view of the one getting dunked, or rather "baptized". :)
I wonder why there are dog treats on the ground next to the darth vader grim reaper on the 5th birthday cake...
...or bowling balls for that matter!
And, I'd always thought that basketball was the only sport with dunking. Ah, Cake Wrecks: entertainment and edujamacation!
I think poor Niko is under that black bowling ball. The red kinda reminds me of a *splat*.
First off, I thought the second cake said Happy [awkward pause] Erik. Secondly, what the heck is with the last cake. I keep staring and staring, but it makes no sense. Death looks like Darth Vader, the top of the tomb stone(?) has white junk on it which makes it look like it's got mold. Also, apparently evil teletubbies feature heavily in the afterlife, since that blue poo swirl is just slightly too morbid a color to feature on a kids' show. Lastly, what are the big black balls? Is that supposed to be blood? The only thing I can think of that they remind me of is the Dalek Void ship...
I've never read the Percy Jackson books. I figured that Niko is a young Terry Pratchett fan. (His Discworld series includes Death personified.)
Um. Death cake for five year old?
I doubt the Percy Jackson connection, unless he's a VERY precocious five-year-old.
My first thought was Terry Pratchett, but the same doubt applies. I'm stumped.
What WERE they thinking?
The Niko cake is probably referencing the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Niko is a character who is Hades' son. Still, doesn't make the cake right by any means. :) Not w/ that pile of wrecking balls on the left.
What the hell are Niko's interests?! Not sure if his cake qualifies as a 'wreck' or just bad, bad parenting. I really hope Niko isn't in my kids kindergarten class!LOL.
Happy Hogsfa- ... wait, Darth Vader's subbing as the Grim Reaper? Discworld meets Death Star? ("Lord Vader, we've spotted the rebel fleet and, and a Giant Space Turtle? *Ack*choke*)
A bale of turtles?? Now we know why they move so slowly. I'm gonna look for a turtle baler at the next farm show.
The word "Baptism" is awfully close to the baseball player's scrotal area, if you catch my drift...
--eilbeback
I sure hope Niko didn't pick out that design himself...
Are we sure that that's Death, and not a Sith Lord? Because I could see either one.
I don't know about a five year old, but a boy a little older would probably love that cake. When my son was 8 or 9, he loved the Goosebumps series. I got him an over the hill cake, complete with tombstones and vultures. I added a couple of Goosebumps toys I had collected, and it became a Goosebumps cake.
Don't be so surprised by Niko's cake. He's a 5 year old boy, he probably just thinks the grim reaper is awesome. I know I did when I was 5. I still do. That cake is awesome.
Unless the pitcher is at the carnival dunking booth. Then someone will definitely get dunked. If the pitcher is any good.
Wouldn't a typo on a cake be a pipe-o?
Maybe Niko's cake is an illustration of that classic Country & Western song, "I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling" (the birthday boy's favorite song?).
So, is this just a case of "number 5" in the customer's cake design catalog is actually "number 8" in the decorator's book?
I am another fan of the Percy Jackson books! I don't think they will win any literary awards, but they are good fun. Nice quick read on a rainy day or at the beach. :o)
I can't believe that cake was for a five-year-old. I feel really sad for him! What an upbringing he must have.
I didn't even see "Baptism" at first.
My WV is "obarmers," you know, like those people who like the current president.
Enough with the Percy Jackson spoilers!!! AAAHHHHHH!!
My dad is a fireman in the small town I grew up in and I think the city should be required to buy that cake for all new residents. That's just how sweet my city is (I say that with as much sarcasm as possible)
Wow. Is there anything else to say? That is, besides
"WHAT WERE NIKO'S PARENTS THINKING TO ORDER A CAKE LIKE THAT?!"
and
"WOAH, MOTHERLOAD OF PEARLS, THAT CAKE IS SO WELCOMING IT MAKES ME WANT TO MOVE OUT BEFORE I EVEN MOVE IN!"
and non-important stuff like that. :) Seriously funny!!! :)And don't blow a lung over the "dunking" hockey mix-up; if it weren't for the sporty friends in my life, I wouldn't even be able to tell a baseball from a tennis ball...truthfully and honestly.
I laughed all the way through. Very funny!
I'm thinking "promotional gift" from Your Friendly Local Insurance Company on that house cake; and I hope they brought hot dogs to the party 'cause there's ALL kinds of ketchup and mustard squirted around the scene. (But ugh-the blurry background makes my eyes fog up.)
The Darth Reaper/Grim Vader cake isn't all THAT horrible, except that the lid of the box flattened the top of the tomb (!!!) ...which probably ruined the whole day for little Niko. I know it would've had it been mine.
Lastly, about Erik's cake. It's loud, gaudy, and I just don't like it. But they did get a nice pitcher of it.
=^>.<^=
yes, what some others said--I didn't see baptism either due to the lack of color contrast. Geez. Way to make a strange cake worse.
And oh golly. WV: bonebra. Can think of all kinds of places to take that but to keep it pretty safe, I'm sure it must just be an uncomfortable pre-curser to the wonderbra.
Um, well. The Percy Jackson explanation is at least a little plausible, but if you've ever spent much time around 4 year olds, you know they are often obsessed -- really OBSESSED -- with the concept of death. So...a death cake for a boy who is just turning 5 kinda makes sense.
There's no excuse for "neiborhood" though.
Love the dunk tank baptism idea!!!!!!! Most traditions that practice immersion baptism- hence the dunking joke- do so to those who are old enough to decide for themselves and therefore old enough to like baseball. Although...the case has been made that this cake is about sprinkling. What a wreck!!!! And since I'm letting my geek flag fly my favorite animal group terms are mob of kangaroos and dazzle of zebra ;-) (thanks for the bale of turtle info)
On the last cake, it is based on the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Nico is a boy who is the son of Hades.
To those thinking that Erik must be a baby because he's being baptized, some churches (like the Baptist one I grew up in) dedicate babies and wait until the child is old enough to CHOOSE to be baptized. You go through classes and then get dunked. (It's more like Catholic catechism. Sorry if I spelled that wrong.) The average age is 10-12. So, it wouldn't be all that odd for a 10 year old boy to be into baseball. It's just an odd cake.
Why is "Baptism" in yellow under a crotch? Is this a golden showers reference?
Um, there's no dunking in hockey, either. There's dunking in basketball.
The house fire cake made me laugh out loud. :)
And there were probably dare on who would eat the slice of cake with baptism spelled out on it.
And don't see why a 5-year-old would have a cake featuring a character from a young adult series. As far as I know that Nico doesn't appear in the movie. It looks an awful lot like Grampa's Over-The-Hill cake.
The location/color of the "baptism" on that second cake makes me wonder with exactly what they're planning on baptizing the kid... Ewww...
Just opened up the back cover of my May Reader's Digest... congratulations!!!
I hope Niko's cake is a reference to the Percy Jackson books, or he's a huge Halloween fan, because that cake is wrong for a 5 year-old. And this coming from someone who loves horror movies and watched them as a child.
On that last one, I'm putting my money(not that I really have any being a broke college student and all) on it being a Halloween birthday cake. I had a lot of those growing up. One even had tombstone candles on it.
It wasn't that I was emo as a kid, but these things happen when your birthday is 2 days after Halloween. **shrugs** In fact, the party was often on Halloween, and we'd go trick-or-treating as part of the festivities. Got quite amusing in HS, walking down the street singing marching band songs in costume. :D
PS: Ironically enough, the "Word Verification" for me was mummy.
So...as a grocery store baker, I've done lots of those grim reaper cakes. It is in fact, the grim reaper and not a sith lord. The wrecking balls are plastic flotsam balloons. They come on a little stick and are supposed to be on that random blue poo swirl in the back left corner of the cake. Grim reaper is supposed to stand next to the balloons, not in the grave. LOL
Oh...and should I add that I've done that cake for 2 different kids??? One boy (I wanna say he was around 5 or 6) and one for a girl too (I think she was 9). Both times, the parents came in with the kids and the kid picked it out. Strange...but what are ya gonna do? Some kids are morbidly fascinated by stuff like that.
I didn't see the baptism on Erik's cake...until I looked veryyyy close. Why yellow on the crotch? I also thought it was for an older boy being baptized.
I don't see what's so unusual about the first cake. Whenever I move into a new neiborhood the current residents don't just move away. They frequently torch all the houses on their way out of town.
It's actually called a bale of turtles. :)
Maybe the kid's a very young Terry Pratchett fan? I mean, Death is a beloved character in the Discworld books, being actually quite a nice guy who's very curious about us mortals.
is the baseball player pooping the word "baptism?" wow, that's a one way ticket on the h-e-double-toothpicks express for that wreckerator!!
Keeley said...
A bale of turtles?? Now we know why they move so slowly. I'm gonna look for a turtle baler at the next farm show.
"turtle baler" muahahahahaha- I want one!!
On the 5th birthday cake, all I can figure is that perhaps Nico's birthday is on or very close to Halloween and he had a Haunted House/Monster Mash/What have you themed party.
Still seems, though that Jack-O-Lanterns, a (cutely done) Haunted House, Candy, or any costumed superhero would have been better themes for a 5 year-old's birthday cake than the Grim Reaper.
That first one had me giggling. Did they have to move due to the fact that they are arsonists and now that the neighbors found out are being threatened to leave with that horrible spelling and burning house?
And that last cake.. I hope that the kid was born on Halloween otherwise what parent would order a cake like that for a 5 year old?? Don't tell me he's already gone goth? I figure he had a few years yet before that hit lol.
Maybe the bowling bowls on the Death cake are a reference to this old ad against AIDS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U219eUIZ7Qo&feature=related ?
Oh, and WV: cystuagn
Hades isn't the grim reaper though...
As a former Wreckorater the baptism cake reminds me of 1 had was asked to make for a customer to celebrate not only the 7th birthday of her son but also his 1st Communion.
Picture Michael Angelo of the TMNT holding a Communion Chalice.
"Happy Holy Birthday Bat Man"
So sad, but that first cake would actually be appropriate for my "neiborhood", as would the off spelling.
I really couldn't figure out poor Niko's cake until I Googled "grim reaper cakes". If you go to http://www.shopbakersnook.com/m5_view_item.html?m5:item=5591 you will find all the fixin's for this lovely work of art.
Those balls are actually black balloons. Yes, I know, I didn't figure that out either. It says so in the ad copy. No explanation as to why Niko wanted/got a grim reaper cake, but at least we now know where we, too, can get everything we need to make one in the comfort of our own homes.
(Postage and handling not included. Some restrictions apply. Limited time offer. Must be 18 or over to order. All major credit cards accepted. Call now.)
I'm so excited that a cake I submitted was used! Yep, the firefighter cake was for a fire station opening. I'm so proud!
So... I guess nobody liked my little pitcher pun...?
Guess people are bummed out that Easter's over, huh?
(SIGH...one less bell to answer...one less house to fry...)
Cheer up! There are superlative upcoming events worthy of creckage (abbreviation for cake-wreckage);
For example:
*4/13 (1743) : Thomas Jefferson's 267th birthday! (yay.)
*4/19:(1775): The Revolutionary War began. All because Paul Revere made a Revere Ware teapot--and we were *supposed* to be mad at tea.
*4/28: (2010): A full moon night! AWOOOOoooo!
Carry on.
=^u.u^=
Yep, I'm thinking 5yo Niko is a fan of the Percy Jackson books...Nico Di Angelo is the son of Hades and spends most of his time in the underworld. (My 12yo loves those books...I would have thought them a bit much for a 5yo though!)
Well the last one kind of made sense to me at first, because there is a series called Percy Jackson & The Olympians (it was recently made into a movie, you've probably heard of it) and in the latter books there is a character named Nico who is the son of Hades. But then I realized that this kid is FIVE so he either has a crazed fan-parent or I'm just a crazed fan, period. *sigh*
But lots of small kids are delighted by grisly death! I used to volunteer in a group for children aged 6-9 and noticed that just about any play performed by 6 year old boys would feature zombies, and almost any art produced by 6 year old boys would feature either people killing monsters or monsters killing people. Comments like "Can we have a Teddy Bears' Picnic? So our teddy bears can fight to the DEATH!" or delighted "Yay, everyone dies!" in response to a song about the arms race were not unusual either. Of course we tried to gently discourage such things, but it's a pretty normal phase and I don't see what's wrong with indulging it on the kid's birthday of all times.
Of course the cake is still kind of ugly and contains about 50 times as much food colouring as my Mum would have let me have when I was that age, but yeah, not at all surprised that Niko wanted it.
You know, if the people who bought the "neiborhood" cake thought the fire was inappropriate, they could have just REMOVED the plastic flotsam and, voila, non-burning house. The spelling on the other hand....
wow! I'm surprised there weren't any guys wearing hoods somewhere in the corner on that first cake. "welcome" indeed!
Ha! I see I'm not the only one who totally missed the word 'baptism' I just thought it was wishing you a very 'Happy Eric!'
For the first one...I guess I'd feel more welcome to a 'neiborhood' where they're telling me if my house is on fire they'll put it out. I'd be more worried if the house was in flames and the cake firemen were standing around ambivalently watching it burn :P
And the last makes me think of the Billy Collins poem, 'On Turning Ten':
"...You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit..."
As the submitter of the Grim Reaper cake, I can report that 5 year old Niko did pick it out from himself, with some strong encouragement from his 9 year old sister. Who was hitting emo tween a bit early, I think, and thought this would be a suitable statement to make on cycles of life, somehow. Niko just thought it looked cool.
It gets even better, because the picture you don't see is what happened after the birthday candles couldn't be found and we ended up using giant taper candles instead.
All us parents thought it was totally hysterical, and the kids didn't care. When the cake was getting cut, it was really funny - usually kids argue about who gets the icing flowers - this time it was "But i want the bones" and "Why does Niko get the burial mound?" ("Because he's the birthday boy.")
If anybody has read the Percy Jackson series, Niko is the son of Hades.....but then again somebody has already stated this so never mind. Heh Still the cake is creepy
I think the first cake must be for someone who just moved to Flint, MI. Since laying off firefighters the arsonists have taken it upon themselves to take care of things. *on a side note - I truly feel sorry for the firefighters here in Flint. Hopefully things will get better for them soon.
I've made this cake several times, often for Birthdays of young boys. I dunno why parents let their kids pick out such a macabre cake? But whatever :D
I don't know what genius corrected you on the "dunking", but the sport is not hockey. Hockey and soccer have goals, baseball has home runs, football has touch downs, and Basketball has slam dunks...
I did notice that at least one other person has pointed out this mistake, however I felt that for all the sports fans out there that also enjoy baking I would clarify.
Perhaps they requested "Cake Or Death!" and got Cake AND Death?...
[crickets]
Any other Eddie Izzard fans out here?
Anyone?
Bueller?
::sigh::
"Niko" is a character from one of the Percy Jackson books..."Niko" is the son of Hades-get it now?
Sorry, but still wrong on the group of turtles... It's a BALE of turtles.
Look here:
http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/collnoun.htm
:D