Thursday, January 6, 2011

MMMMMMM&m's

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Ahh, M&Ms. Am I right? Except the green ones really have no effect on me, so that's totally false advertising right there. Well, unless bloating counts. (No? Then, no.)

So anyway, what could be better than M&Ms on cake? And it's so easy! Just sprinkle a few tastefully here and there, and...


Oh.

Yeah, well. I'd still eat it.


Or, if you're really ambitious, you could just cover the whole cake with 'em:

You missed a few spots.


Or, let's say you want the cake to scream "M&Ms!" only without using any:

"Rawr! We are the dread pirate M&Ms!"

Red: "Really? I thought we were zombie dinosaurs."

Blue: "Ug. Judging by this thing on my head I'd say we're pigeon targets."


And for you master bakers, why not try a beautifully sculpted, full size M&M guy?

Maybe try a recipe with a little less collagen, though.


And finally, your moment of migraine-inducing zen:

Can't read it?

The trick is to half cross your eyes, tilt your head at a precise 42 degree angle to the right, and then have a friend hit you soundly across the face with a stapler.

Or just keep staring. You'll feel the same either way in about five minutes.


Kerum S., Janet, Marcus J., John D., & Jessica S., not that stapler. That's my stapler. Don't touch my stapler.
The Boob Nazi said...

The sculpture's arms are up at his eyes!! Poor M&M guy. I wonder if they had peanut and chocolate flavoring in the cake. That would be kind of awesome.

Naantje said...

I think, but I'm not sure, the last one says "Baby in the USA". It makes as little sense as the cake's design...

ChucklesMO said...

I think that last cake says Baby in the USA. What that heck that is about, unless it was supposed to be Party in the USA(A song I wish I had never heard), I have no idea.

Anonymous said...

That last one looks like it says "Baby in the USA". I guess it doesn't have to make sense if you can't read it anyway.

Pam said...

Yay! Office Space reference!

Anonymous said...

bonus points for Office Space reference. from the 'Burgh, yinz guys ROCK!!!!

wv: daect - all those m&m's made my tummy say daect.. (lower voice to sinister level and try it)

Mike Owens said...

I believe the last one says "Baby in the USA." Unfortunately, it makes less sense knowing what it says than it did before....

kimberj said...

So that's what you get when you cross Angelina Jolie with an M&M... or maybe that's some kind of flounder/M&M mutant. Feeling a little duhhhh because I still can't read the second word, Baby ___, perhaps??? Anybody? Help?

Danger Boy said...

Clearly the last one says Baruugasnouf. Also, staplers hurt. I'm gonna take a nap now...*Thud*

Anonymous said...

Does that last one say "Baby"?

Sam

Konen said...

OMG, that first cake is gross!! but then again, I'm pregnant, so my food-sense is off. I mean, srsly, I couldn't even eat my chocolate-fudge ice cream

Nyckie said...

Wow, this totally made me not want to eat M&Ms for a while! hah! And for my guess on the last cake: Baby Jobe??! Or Jake? GAH. I need to go get my stapler.....

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

I can't even begin to understand cake #1...does it involve cardboard some how?

The dread pirate M&Ms made me giggle and my husband had to look over here inquiringly--it was worth it!

The last one, oh the last one. I now have a headache from trying to read it and from trying to understand what "baby in the USA" even means

Ashley said...

"Baby in the USA"?

Jenniffer said...

What the heck does that cake say? Baby Osis?

Erin said...

wow. The yellow guy is so close if only they'd got the mouth better, and the shape a little more round at the bottom. At least it's recognizable. :-/

As for the rest...oh my. i just don't think there's any hope for an m&m cake...

Deirdre said...

I think it's Baby Fish Mouth. Pretty sad that those cakes might actually make me stop liking M&M's. Nope, still like 'em.

Ambitious Blonde said...

The m&m guy was "almost" there.

I think it says Baby To Be :/ umm yah that's it.

Frank said...

If you stare at the last one long enough, you can almost see a 3D picture.

Angie said...

Personally, I think that the 3rd one is a PSA warning against steroid use. Yikes.

Sharon said...

I'd like to know what the first one is SUPPOSE to be. With it's shape, to me, it looks like a toilet exploding. The day AFTER New Year's perhaps?

Epcot on Baby in the USA. I couldn't read anything but Baby. Yuk to eating it!

Peanut M & M....flat on the bottom? Could have used a little more sculpting on the bottom and a little less on the lips.

Sharon's Edible Art

Mary Beth said...

I once had the bottom layer of a cake come out very unevenly so I filled the gap with m&m's before icing it. In my defense, I was 10 and the person who got the slice full of m&m's was VERY happy!

mimiheart said...

My son, after the Baby in the USA epcot, determined it said Baby is doodie. Which works just as well.


What did M&Ms ever do to those wreckerators?

wv: comen... the M&Ms are comen to get you...

everythings-coming-up-millhouse said...

I thought it said BABY JOBS!

Anonymous said...

I think that last cake might say Baby Icuba... Or maybe it's supposed to be that Baby in the USA everyone else sees. Or maybe it's "Born in the USA", like the Bruce Springsteen song! Thanks to my parents for teaching me that one...

For all I know it might just say "Dumb Wreckerator"

JHill said...

That first bakery must have a thing about piling a buncha crap on top of their desserts: M&Ms, fruit, bonbons...

"If you move me again, I'll burn this place to the ground."

Anonymous said...

If you enlarge the picture of the first cake it looks like they melted candle wax on the sides.

And, I agree that the last one says "baby in the usa".

WV: "poostac" I've seen some poo-stack cakes on CWs.

Sharon said...

By the way, LOVE the sign on the first one: "Gourmet Cake" for $22.99. If that is what's passing for gourmet these days, I pass on a slice of it, thank you!

Sharon's Edible Art

Karen Valinda said...

I read the comments to see what I missed when I viewed the post ;-Þ
All I got was "baby" and since one of the kids didn't put the stapler back where it belongs, I had to check the comments for enlightenment

imspiffier said...

Dinosaur zombies~ Graarr braains!

Caroline B said...

It's cake covered in M&M's - who cares what it looks like, just gimme a slice!

That last one - I didn't know Jackson Pollock decorated cakes too...

RogerBW said...

The last one says "I hate colour-blind people".

bassgirl said...

Hard to believe #1 and #5 are commercially-made cakes. Shudder! It inspires me to buy some M & M's and try my hand at it! What color goes best with German Chocolate?

The Lunar Fox said...

I think with that last one, if you stare real hard, you'll see a 3D image. I've always bad at that, but I bet it's a boat.

Tricia L said...

The last one looks like those word verification boxes you get on some websites where the deformed letters are on a spotted background. Usually have to ask for a new word several times before I can see it. All I can make out on the cake is "Baby". Refresh. Refresh.

Elizabeth C. said...

Probably a schooner, right Lunar Fox?

Penny said...

Baby in the USA?

Donna said...

Loved the Princess Bride reference...immediately followed by a peanut (M&M that is)....

The first cake made me want to spew though...$22.99 seriously???? YUCK

wv: biodoo - pretty sure they meant cake #1

Nancy McGill said...

Is it just me, or does the "Gourmet Cake" in the background of the first photo look like the lair of some poor misbegotten spider-skeleton hybrid?

Aliza said...

Cake #1: Clearly, the bakery does not know the meaning of "gourmet"! The other cakes look reasonable (although the one in the back is very odd). A fancily decorated wall, a half-egg spewing an M&M river, multicoloured messy squirts, all on a white ground (although the label says "chocolate frosting"!) with a cup of white frosting and a pen in front?! But, at least the M&Ms will be good!

2nd one: hey, it's better than most of the cake decorations we see here... and this is one frosting that's actually delicious

"pigeon targets" -- LMAO What's with their chunky arms and skinny bodies?

Peanut's at least recognizable. Too bad they messed up the lips, since they were so close.

Hard to believe Baby cake's a professionally done one. I've seen grade-schoolers do better.

Heather said...

The one covered in M&Ms would totally be my soon to be 3yr old's dream bday cake.

Michelle S said...

I would totally dive into that cake that looks like it was rolled in m&ms.

mmmmmm

Becky said...

I agree with the comment that the Baby in the USA looks like the stupid word verification boxes... thank goodness the WV on this blog are actually legible! I had to stare at that stupid cake for a good minute before getting anything past Baby. I got USA next and then just stared at the middle... confused...

WV: retop - if you don't like how your cake turned out, just retop it with M&M's!

ladycrim said...

I'm pretty sure the last one says "Brain Ooze". Which is what happened to me when I tried to read it.

Lise said...

Princess Bride and Office Space references in the same post! You're awesome.

Also, the "Baby in the USA?" cake leaves my brow quizzical, but I'm more curious about the object at the bottom left of the peanut M&M sculpture. Is that a FISH TAIL? I don't understand.

NiteNurse said...

The first time I read the last cake (small pic on itouch) I saw Burn Out,
Hmmmm.....

Anonymous said...

I think the last cake says "BABY I O U" and then a picture of baby booties. Or bumblebees, I'm not sure.

Either way, what?

~Nikki~ said...

DISASTERS GALORE! LOL

Check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Jen Green said...

Wow, some of these are wild! Thanks for sharing. Does the the last one say Baby Cora? Lol, I guess it doesn't matter, it's just too funny!

cq75 said...

If these cakes are "gourmet" (quotation marks definately appropriate here) then I need to charge more.

And can we please burn that last cake to the ground? Pretty please with... well, no more sprinkles on the top?

WV: bitri That many M&M's leave a bitri taste in my mouth.

Valerya Baker said...

Why does it say "BABY in the USA"? Also, those m&ms totally look like creepy body builders.

Green said...

Pretty sure the last one is a ransom note. They could have been more specific, though.

Dawn said...

The first one kind of looks a Mardi Gras parade float from the back. Mardi Gras season started yesterday.

The last one hurts my eyes and I can't make sense of it, OW.

Anonymous said...

I see "Baby Oba." Makes as much sense as "Baby in the USA." Neither make any sense.

Amber

Craig said...

Using the (in this case, vertigo-inducing) click-to-enlarge feature, it does say... well, you know.

This one is hardly worth going to the shelter over, except that *everyone* will be bringing M&Ms.

Maybe the wreckerator said, "This makes no sense, even to me -- I think I'll disguise it as much as possible."

Harald Korneliussen said...

The last cake, I think it says BE JUST.

The Beaudoins said...

What is "baby in the USA"? lol

Anonymous said...

Don't let our legislators see the "Baby in the USA" cake. They'll take it as further proof of the immigrant anchor baby conspiracy.

Mary said...

Those are just wrong.

KittyKat said...

I think the sculpted yellow one is actually a Vogon dressing up as a yellow M&M. Quick! Pass the earplugs, he looks as if he might begin reciting poetry at any moment.

"This poem is entitled "BABY in the USA..."

oops. too late.
word verification: batis
Listening to Vogon poetry will make anyone completely batis.k

tarichuck said...

I would really like to know why it looks like Yellow just filleted a salmon....No I wouldn't. Yikes.

Lisa@ButteryBooks said...

I am crying I am laughing so hard! This is hilarious and I love your commentary. Just found your blog so I am going to have to check out your other posts. Thanks for making me laugh!

Anonymous said...

The yellow m & m reminds me of a yellow, evil version of Grimace.

Miss B. Haven said...

I read the last one as

Baby
OoPs


guess it is my mind filling it what I'd say if I were going to have a baby shower. ;-)

~E

BADKarma! said...

Maybe that last cake was for an illegal alien celebrating the birth of her anchor baby. With about two pounds of M&Ms and turd-brown icing. Which is oddly appropriate, overall.

Monica said...

That first one looks kind of like my creations at make-your-own-sundae night....

Herouth said...

The last one was sent to someone who needed a secret way to get a green card?

Anonymous said...

The last one looks like one of those tests to determine whether you're color blind.... which I'm apparently failing.

Tara said...

Yum. M&Ms on a cake. I'd eat it. :)

Crazygirl said...

Took me three times of scrolling through all the cakes, to finally realize that the last one reads "Baby to be".

Which I guess kind of makes sense?.. aside from, well... the cake. The

Heather said...

What the heck is peanut holding?

Love the Princess Bride reference!

Star said...

M&M Steroid-Zombies......Runnnn!

emily michelle said...

Is that first cake vomiting M&Ms? Who thought that was a good idea?

The fourth cake looks like he's just done something clever and dastardly, possibly relating to that rock he's got on a leash.

I thought the last cake said "Baby Loses," which can't possibly mean anything good, so I'm much happier about "Baby in the USA."

Amy said...

Love the Princess Bride reference!

But check your affect/effect. :-)
The green M&Ms don't A-ffect you (verb), or, put another way, they have no E-ffect on you (noun).

Charlene said...

Good reference to The Princess Bride.

I knew I liked this blog for a good reason! :)

Whozat said...

My barely-verbal two-year-old spotted the M&M Guy sculpture and had two things to say about it:

Yellow!

Mouth!

mladybright said...

Stapler!! Bwahahaaa! Ok, I'm okay now.

I got BABY out of the last one, but no clue what comes after... even after the stapler.

Personally, I like the one that's rolled in m&m's. I'd serve it to my hubby soon as I added some more to fill in the gaps.

Zombies -- yes... or pigeon targets! lol

Dang it, usually you help me avoid the snacks, today -- I just want to run out and find a bag of m&m's!! Curse you, candy covered chocolate!!

~~Di

rubian77 said...

Everyone's so obsessed about "Baby in the USA" that no one noticed the second cake says "Happy Bithday." Seems like there might have been an "r" in there but if there is it's covered by the voluminous amount of candy.

Book Woman said...

that last one is definitely a load of Pollocks

mybakingempire said...

I'm not sure if this is because of reverse psychology, or because I've given up sugar for the new year, but I REALLY want mnm's now :(
Irony?

Anonymous said...

Cake #2: the R is so embarrased its hiding!

y said...

It's like a bunch of college boys got baked and decorated a bunch of cakes! Who buys that crap?!
OY!

Jen said...

It's sad but I would still totally eat all of those cakes.

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU!

I know that whenever If I'm not having a great day and I see the cake wreck post on my FB, I'm gonna feel just a little bit better. Thanks for making me laugh. Now if I could just eat the cake too!

Leyna said...

These cakes remind me of when I bought a big bag of M&Ms and let my daughters decorate a cake I made...although I'm pretty sure my 3 and 5 year old girls did a much, much better job.

But I must add a nice chocolate cake covered in icing and M&Ms...mmm...so good!

Meg said...

I, for one, fully support these wrecks. IMHO there is absolutely no better way to improve a cake than by adding pounds and pounds of M&Ms.

Mmmm. I LOVE M&Ms. But you figured that out already! :)

Loo-E Loo-I said...

I like M&Ms and still do.

The first one has me perplexed. What is it supposed to be? I see a sea-shell covered toilet tank attached to either a reeeaaallly long toilet bowl or a bed. I see a party hat or cup with M&Ms spewing from it. Either ribbon or fake hair from the toilet tank to the party hat. Could there be a Rapunzel doll around somewhere? Is that candle-wax or blood? This is "gourmet"?

Not bad. Yes they missed a spot, but would any 3 YO really care (unless that was their piece). Could mom have added a bag of M&Ms after she bought the cake?

*snort* I'm Hans, and I'm Frans and we're here to pump you up! Raaaaaarrrrr!

Heck with the botox-injected lips - what is the rest of the cake? It looks like he's got a leash/whip/cord attached to something else! What is it!!!!!

At first all I saw was Baby, but after the comments, I do see
BABy
In the
USA
Gee. How, ummm, patriotic. I agree: it's either a magic-eye picture or some of those bizzare word verifications. And *ow* now my head hurts.

wv: brume: I'd like to sweep these wrecks under the rug with a brume.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Amy,

Bwoops. My fault. I always screw that up. From now on, I'm just gonna put affect/effect when I'm unsure. That way, I'll always be right!

*tapping head*

And that, my friends, is why I was the president of Phi Beta Kappa.

Ah thank you. Thankyouverymuch.

john

Loo-E Loo-I said...

LOL Rubian77 and Anony@3:33

The Dread Pirate Robert M&Ms stole the Rrrrrrr from the Happy Bithday cake! :-P

And after looking at the last one a little longer, the magic-eye picture is a stapler!!!!

marshatrue said...

I think that last one says "Baby Joyce."
I like Baby in the USA better.

Amanda said...

The last one, after reading the comments and going back to it, says, "Baby I'm yours" With the letters going all uppey- downy.
By the way, wv: dists'
Dists the way we do it baby!

Oldish Lady said...

Y'know I've spent the last couple of weeks working a temp job which requires me to interpret high school students hand-written email addresses for 7 hours a day, and despite this experience I can't read that last one.

Obviously the person who lettered that last cake did not attend high school. It might be Baby In USA, or BARN in USA or something else entirely.

WV: vuzcxgu -- what that first cake may be saying as if barfs M&Ms.

Anonymous said...

M&M guy looks like he's not wearing any pants.

Anonymous said...

Look at all the "cakes" in the first picture: the un-iced cake with bonbons and antenae, the tart with the canned fruit, the cupcake with the thing that looks like a cigarette...

Vickie said...

Gourmet? 2 pounds of M&Ms and twice as many pounds of greasy white goo apparently turns the Bakery Department at the "Piggly-Wiggly" into "The Culinary Institute of America".
(=Gore? Meh.)
WV: mifided: I was so mifided when I picked up my M&M cake from the bakery, and saw that the M&Ms were actually the generic, no-name candy coated cocoa-flavored waxy crap.

thesacredandtheprofane said...

@ Elizabeth C.- You dumb bastard! That's not a schooner, it's a sailboat!

Anywho, as someone who has a compulsion to avoid eating blue M&Ms, I would not go anywhere near these cakes. Too many blues. bleh. Well, okay, maybe the yellow sculpture guy, but only if I can have his lady lips.

Craig said...

Oh, the colors! I just... [sob]...
Is that a salmon?! I totally think it's a salmon!
And 'Baby in the USA' -- what does it all mean?!?!?!?

Jason said...

I agree with some of the others. "Baby in the USA." I can only hope to be awesome enough to understand that someday.

Anonymous said...

My 3YO son was walking by as I scrolled past the 3rd cake with the three M&M guys on it. He said, "whoah, mom what's that scarry M&M guy for?"

Anonymous said...

That first one looks like it has wax dripped down the sides. Eew.

The last one... "Baby in the USA"? WTF would that even mean?

Anonymous said...

Oh thank God, I thought I was the only person alive who hated green M&Ms. Hate 'em, hate hate hate 'em. They taste horrible. To me, they're the Pepsi of the M&M world (Pepsi is tasteless to me). The green mascot is cute, though. :)

Anonymous said...

OK, last one says,
BABY
I
(and then a drawing of a caterpillar)

Anonymous said...

Baby Made UVA?

Baby In a Usa?

BAN Joanna?

I'm sure Joanna is happy she's banned from eating this cake.

My captcha is "nonwins." Awesome.

LisaH said...

Could that last cake be referring to John Mellencamp's R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.? That's what popped into my head when I saw BABY in the USA, anyway!

carrida said...

Are those skittles on that 3rd birthday cake? I love skittles, but they don't go well with cake.

Anonymous said...

As much as as a sweet tooth as I have, i'd still eat them even if they look funky

Pirate Queen said...

So what IS going on with that first cake? It immediately made me think "Barfing Pumpkin" -- just google, there are lots of them like this http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs20/f/2007/297/2/0/Barfing_Pumpkin_by_Jiyae.jpg

And...does the tag say "delicious" or "atrocious" chocolate frosting?

Amanda said...

I love M&M's but this takes the cake.

Auntie J said...

Um...I think I'm going to go get my migraine drugs after that last one. No stapler required, thanks.

Anonymous said...

wait- tilt my head to MY right or YOUR right??? nevermind. doesn't work either way...now, if I had a holocaust cloak....

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

The one for the three-year-old is awesome. My child would have love d that.

~L

Arlene said...

I love M & M's as much as anyone but why would you put so many on what looks like a 3rd birthday cake? Sheesh unless that kid is made of m and m's I don't think people will appreciate trying to not break teeth on them lol.

Craig said...

I think @LisaH might have decoded it, since BABY is in all caps. At least it makes some kind of sense.

Today's event meets the official definition of an EPCOT. If this were a call-in show, we would need to think about saving time by using a device popularized by another Florida resident: 'ditto'. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I totally read the last one as "baby oboe horse". I'm not sure what it means.

Stephanie said...

I'm having flashbacks to my little sister's 4th birthday cake: chocolate with chocolate frosting and (you guessed it) M&Ms. That was when we discovered just how sensitive to sugar and chocolate she was: one slice and she was tearing around at warp speed for nearly an hour. The only upside was that cake looked better than these, and my mom is not a professional baker.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, the M&M guy has arms growing out of his ears!

Gem said...

But is it a Swingline stapler?

ilze said...

The Dread Pirate M&Ms is being sold in a box labeled rotisserie chicken. hmmmm.

Rainyday said...

To me that says 'BABY barf', which is kinda what it looks like, too. Love the Princess Bride ref!!!

WV: ouriangl. Awwww, why thank you, you're an angel too!

Elizabeth said...

Um, excuthe me? I believe you have my sthapler?
.....
I could burn the building down...

Thanks for the laughs, Jen and John! :)

Anonymous said...

i think everyone else is right, but why on earth does it say baby in the USA?

hey, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!

Anonymous said...

at first all i could see on the Magic Eye cake was "Baby Wine USA," which I have to admit sounds like a pretty entertaining/dangerous event.

Peanut M&M, why are you making a duckface?

Becky said...

Why has no one observed that the yellow M&M is cutting cheese????? (Maybe someone has, but I'm too lazy to read all the comments...)

Becky said...

Okay, so skimmed comments and I think no one else has noticed that the yellow standing M&M is cutting a black of cheese. I now want to add that I think it deserves some extra points for that. Or maybe fewer points, that detract from the fact that is it recognizable and standing... because who wants to eat at cake that is suggesting cutting the cheese. Either this cake recipient is a cheese specialist who goes by the same nick name as the rapper, or he is a fan of the candy with gas.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, It's a party in the USA
Yeah, It's a baby in the USA