Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hello, Kitty?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:

However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:


This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...

...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]


I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.

Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.

Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:

Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!

And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:

Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.

Hey Ayana W., Holly U., Kelly H., and Matthew Z., what do you get when you combine Hello Kitty & Darth Vader?

Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:


Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The Zombie Kitty cake is pretty terrific.

Does that last cake's inscription read, "Yoo shore doo have a purty mouth"??

Angie said...

For some reason, Vampire Kitty is oddly appealing. I'd have wanted the fangs a tad more pointy, but still....

Anonymous said...

Wow.
I can hardly keep a straight face when passing a neighbor's car with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Now I better cross to the other side of the street when I pass it because I'll be cracking up imagining one of these plastered on her hood.

Word verification: tyllu, as in I tyllu some of these don't look a thing like Hello Kitty.

Cottagecheap said...

Love the zombie....

Wonder how you screw it up. SHe is basically a circle with two triangles at 10 and 2 (like your driving hands ppl) a yellow circle nose...black dot eyes and some whiskers....how do you screw that up? SRSLY?

Okay...so I love the Hello Vader!

Um......btw....I saw a very KEWL looking biker in full atire (female) on a Harley....looking tough with all her tats and she went past and I saw a HELLO KITTY BACKPACK on her back. Just not right, I almost wrecked and died.

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

Zombie Hello Kitty is awesome. I've always said that if I were gonna kill an adorable cartoon... well you know the rest.




myolderbrothes.blogspot.com

Half Assed Kitchen said...

That Darth Vader is stinkin' hilarious.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

HorribleLicensePlates said...

That last one... kitty is bleeding from the mouth? Meow!

Anna said...

HK zombie cake ftw! That was excellent.

faradayflux said...

Zombie Hello Kitty = awesome cake! Why can't the others look as good as that one?

And "puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem" made my morning.

Julie said...

WV: bustswar.... I ordered a Hello Kitty cake bustswar at the wreckorator when I saw the finished product.

Chelle said...

I think the pig one confused Hello Kitty with Miss Piggy.
Btw, there is a hilarious site called kittyhell that I love. It's a blog by a guy whose wife is a HK fanatic.

Angela said...

How did you add the "Digg This" widget to your blog?

Justine said...

The bottled water in the female torso shapped bottles is kinda creepy. Of course the outfits on the labels are cute as can be. But drinking water out of headless female forms is a little too creepy for me.

Aaron'sMommy said...

In the one with the hair box that you say looks like an RSS fee logo for some reason I see nothing but the word "God". Maybe they are trying to elevate the status of "Hello Kitty"

:::b r a n d i::: said...

That zombie kitty is awesome!

Judy said...

And you didn't post the Hello Kitty wedding cake????

http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/12/hello-kitty-wedding-cake/

WV:Fally - When someone gets a "Fail" for spelling "Fail"

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that first one wasn't supposed to be Ms. PacMan?

*MagPie* said...

The blank stare! THE BLANK STARE! So emotionless and cold!

Anonymous said...

It almost looks like "Helio Kitty" on that headstone...

ct114 said...

Well, I do kinda like the vampire one. It's not really that bad.......

RecoveringActor said...

Marshmellow Hello Kitty kind of looks like JigglyPuff (you know... the stay puft marshmellow man version of a pokemon?)

'Cuz I Felt Like It! said...

It is a travesty for such ugliness to be put out there in the world! Psht!

I have worshiped the zombie HK cake for years now, but have yet to get one! I did get the tattoo though...it even made the pages of the Hello Kitty Hell blog! YAY ME!!!!

Dorci said...

WHEN WILL THE CCC MADNESS END????

Crazy, just crazy I tell ya.

Amanda said...

When I saw that the second one was a CCC (blech!), my teeth started hurting from all of that icing that is domed up on them - the icing to cake ratio must be 100:1!

The vampire one would have been cuter if the teeth were smaller and didn't look like bleeding fingers... I kind of like the cracked black background - you think Dracula would have a pretty background!?!

Belle Epoque said...

Awwww...totally cute. Hello Kitty doesn't get obnoxious for me, like all the other TM's eventually do...

Cake Believe said...

I think the zombie kitty is done very nicely....not really a wreck as far as technique goes. Thanks for the daily laughs Jen!

Kris said...

Not only is the second one a CCC, The ones in the corners (A CCC shouldn't have corners anyway) are on their side...That's just such a terrible idea. Do people not realize this when they are making them, or ordering them?

jackie31337 said...

OMG, I no longer feel bad about the less-than-steady piping job I did on the Hello Kitty cake I made for my daughter's birthday. Upon melting the chocolate to make the lines, I realized I didn't have a suitable attachment for my piping bag. I improvised by using a medicine syringe (without a needle). All things considered, I think my cake turned out really well. Wish I had some pictures online.

Anonymous said...

Here is the link for the REAL AND ORIGINAL ZOMBIE CAKE: http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/2659373222/in/set-72157613990914599/

Anonymous said...

I will never understand the obsession with Hello Kitty...particularly with girls who are over the age of ten.

Those cakes are pretty hilarious.

Evalis said...

I dunno, the water bottles aren't TOO bad.

On the other hand there are these:
http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/12/26/hello-kitty-contacts/


which are so wrong on so many levels

Anonymous said...

For Hello Kitty cupcakes done right (not the dreaded CCC!) check out: http://justjennrecipes.com/hello-kitty-fondant-how-to/2009/07/07/

Anonymous said...

Hello Kitty, what have they done to you??!!!

Twistie said...

Dood! I want the zombie Hello Kitty as my next birthday cake. Alas, since I bake my own cakes and have NO talent whatsoever for decorating, I guess I'll just have to dream.

The rest of these are total nightmares...especially the Porky Pig one.

BTW, Hello Kitty weddings are popular in Asia. I've seen video evidence on YouTube, and it scares me.

Amy said...

The graveyard, dead HK makes me laugh.
~Amy B.

Morgan the Muse said...

that zombie one is amazing, I am not going to lie.

Karen said...

like Vader's head didn't already look like a penis...

Anonymous said...

@anonymous at 11:31
What is your problem? Why all the hate?
How rude.

Jen, you don't have to post "mean spirited remarks" like that.

Excellent post! Bizarre, HK should be so easy.

Alex

Marji said...

Did you know that in Japan (the home of Hello Kitty) you can purchase a Hello Kitty vibrator?

Wrap your mind around that one.

Yvonne Rathbone said...

The HK water bottles were cute, but I really liked the HK taser gun. Now I want a CCC in the shape of a HK taser gun. With fangs. Yeah.

And anyway, everyone knows Batz Maru rulz.

wv: creake - that could mean so many things here!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely dying with laughter over Hello Vadar. Absolutely Hysterical!!! Thanks so much for that laugh.

I love the Zombie Hello Kitty. Very well done. Perfect balance of creepy and cute. I'm sure it made someone's Halloween.

Mutant Puffed-Face Gerbil had me in stitches too. If you hadn't told me what it was, I would have never guessed.

LLM5326 said...

I really like the vampire one (I have a thing for vampires!) The zombie is amazing and I almost fell out of my chair at the HK Darth Vadar. I know it is PS, but the sad thing is that I can actually see someone doing that!

grimperspective said...

Luke, I am your....gay uncle?

And I totally love the Hello Zombie. Fantastical.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

The Zombie Hello Kitty Looks like Frankenstein's Monster. The rest of them just look insane. And how do you NOT know who Hello Kitty is?

Melissa (& Billy) said...

As a Kitty-chan fan (people say it makes me very easy to shop for *g*), I just cringe while laughing at these. I'm not really sure why it's so difficult; I once received a homemade HK cake and it was adorable. =)

Zombie!Kitty is great! Very clever. Makes up for the horror of Petunia Pig and the crusted over frosting dome horror of the CCC (patooi!) And I'm not even TOUCHING the vampire!Kitty. I've seen it done but this example is quite wreckalicious!

Someone once forwarded me the Hello Vader pic, and the filename was NNNNOOOOOO.jpg XD

Kim said...

You know, that vampire kitty looks kind of like a Hello Kitty headcrab zombie. http://blogplog.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/zombie.jpg

G.H. said...

The Zombie cake is fantastic.
The others made me die a little inside.


http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

gina said...

i've met hello kitty vader in person at a con. it is most undoubtedly a real thing.

Lucia said...

HAHAHA! TEE-HE! OH MY!
How funny!
That made my day!
~Lucia

Rosie said...

I LOVE this site. I found out about it from Bakerella's blog and I am in love. My hubby too, so there's no jealousy.

Thanks for making my (our) day (s).

BTW: I'm currently taking the Wilton cake decorating classes and I'm applying myself to my studies since I do NOT want to be featured here unless is on the SS section.

shadow said...

I love Hello Kitty, and I keep HK Hell bookmarked. :D

I want that zombie cake. Om nom nom!

WV: diflught. Much to my diflught, this is a hilarious post!

Willow Tree said...

I actually backed up from my computer when I scrolled down to the first one. Wow-za.

Blessings,
Carolynn

UhLisa said...

I have also seen Darth Kitty (Hello Vadar?) at Comic-Con. That's the real deal.

Anonymous said...

Not sure about those water bottles, Jen. On the other hand, I sort of dig the Vader costume. (Interestingly, I think it would be awesome in cake form.)

Dutch Girl said...

As a high school student I am surrounded by girls who are still obsessed with Hello Kitty! I have never seen anything in Hello Kitty, but now it is totaly rediculous! These 17 year olds need to get a life!

Also, how hard can it be to make a hello kitty cake?! Use a circle pan, and unless you are very much lacking in the skills department, you really can't screw up!

Stephanie said...

Zombie Kitty, Rocks!!

Water bottles, Rock!!!

The rest of them, what the heck happened?! Awful!

Val said...

Couldn't they have photoshopped a bow on the corner of the helmet?

thecatskillkiwi said...

yes hello kitty, epitome of nauseating!

thriftylittleblog said...

I love pig kitty!
-Kasey

Jenny said...

I'm lovin the HK darth vader! good stuff, good stuff.

Spotted_T_Apps said...

I know there are several horse people that read here...well, not that you need to be a horse person, but scarey/funny experience for me the other night. Read it on my blog: www.freewebs.com/spottedtridingblog/ridingblogjul2009.htm

Alix said...

I am totally in LOVE with Zombie Hello Kitty. So my style, and not wrecky at all.

FelixAndAva said...

Love the zombie Hello Kitty! Very nicely done, and funny.

Sigivald said...

I always knew Bonefinder was awesome.

Now I have proof.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one that thinks the vampire fangs look like tampons?

Lorraine said...

Gotta get me one of those Hello Kitty Tasers. They are truly the BOMB.

Brittany said...

I think we should have a Sunday Sweets Hello Kitty edition. :)

Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

I nearly wet myself over the gerbil. Hilarious! Though I must say, the zombie Kitty is pretty good for what it is!

Deray said...

Why would anyone want a dead HK? or a vampire one? just to make "dark" an absolutely cute cartoon? *head-desk*

Maddy said...

I've never been fond of hello kitty, this just gives me further ammunition.
Cheers

Jen said...

haha! I love Zombie Kitty!

Sili said...

I am *so* disappointed to realise that Hello Vader is a 'shop job.

Damn you!

Martha said...

I had a Hello Kitty cake done for my graduation. I think it turned out alright:

http://i32.tinypic.com/b6olyq.jpg

pamelaperez said...

omg poor hello kitty grew fangs. ouch.

Diane said...

Too funny!

Asianmommy said...

OMG--you would think that Hello Kitty would be one of the easier things to put on a cake. Guess not! :)

Peachkins said...

I've got to say, zombie Hello Kitty was very well done. The CCCs on the other hand were extraordinarily frightening. I almost went into diabetic shock just looking at the icing dome on that second cake. I think my favorite from the Hello Kitty Hell website was the taser...

Prite said...

I am of the opinion that the "fanged" Hello Kitty is actually sporting insect-like mandibles. :D

Mandy said...

I am TOTALLY digging that Hello Kitty zombie! YEAH!

The HK Darth Vader had me rolling...too bad it's not real! I know a fellow Star Wars geek (I say fellow, as I proudly identify myself as such) who would be mortified.

I digress.

As for those other cakes, well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh at those too! Poor, poor Cake Wreckers.

WV: ciessec ~ the birthing procedure utilized for the previous entry's baby shower cakes

Wide Awake Wife said...

Wow.
A pink Vader. Not sure how I feel about that one. . .

www.mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

ThePastryProphet said...

As one who works in a bakery. I can't tell you how many people order those gosh-awful cupcake cakes and are SURPRISED that it doesn't look like a true Hello Kitty, Onesie, or Tiara.

Them: "It looks like a bunch of cupcakes covered with frosting!!!"

Me (thinking): "No!!! Really??? Very smart Capt. Obvious!"

I (and the rest of cake decorators) HATE CUPCAKE CAKES!!

Scritzy said...

If Hello Kitty and Kermit the Frog had a baby, it would look like Zombie Hello Kitty.

Christina said...

i love Hello Kitty to death...but i do not love those cakes.

and Hello Kitty Hell...i understand my love for Hello Kitty...but that man suffers so.

Jamie said...

Thank you for sending me into the neverending vortex of terror that is kittyhell.com

Stefanie said...

OMG! They are awful! At least none of them are hello kitty wedding cakes.

robynwithay said...

haha, oh my! the CCC makes me go into sugar shock... I thought it was fondant at first glance. Also, i was staring at the vader w/o reading the blurb tyring to wrack my brain... I know i didn't see him at a celebration, but so would have taken a pic if I had...

Anonymous said...

Why? Why would you do that to me? And my niece was right here too. "Auntie, is that supposed to be hello kitty?!" It was like explaining, "no your Uncle wasn't trying to suffocate me in the bedroom", all over again. Very traumatic post.

Petrina said...

Aw Crap! I am literally snorting; I'm laughing so hard!!!

WV: panstt - Any full grown adult with a Hello Kitty fixation should be panstt!

Sharon said...

The CCC makes me crave a Hostess Sno Ball. o.O

Love the zombie Hello Kitty

Anonymous said...

Vampire Hello Kitty: I totally saw a 'wise old man' mustache. Dripping blood. Which kind of makes me want an 'evil but wise old man' Hello Kitty cake... if t'were done properly.

VeggieT said...

I think someone should go out and order 'hello kitty/Darth Vader' cakes, I seriously want to see that in cake. cheers

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Rachie Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ said...

Did you see this cake? http://www.kittyhell.com/2009/01/06/hello-kitty-death-cake/

Anonymous said...

Besides not knowing what Hello Kitty even looks like, that wrecktator didn't even put a regular kitty's nose on right side up! LOL

Anonymous said...

What do you mean "almost"? Hello Kitty is utterly sickening. How come we never see her (it?) sideways.

The only thing worse than Hello Kitty, beyond that stupid Vampire love story thing..."Twilight"? Is Pikachu.

Miranda said...

Hello Kitty and vampire do not mix. No worky. Why didn't they use Chococat for that?

I have the sneaking suspicion that they did this cake for a goth girl, too. no, don't laugh, I'm serious. There's a... thing going on with goths and HK. I don't know. I'm just a crusty old bat. kids these days. get off my lawn.

lol

RudeGirl said...

Did you see the Hello Kitty wedding cake on the Hello Kitty Hell website??? No? Well, here's a link - http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/12/hello-kitty-wedding-cake/

Imagine the poor schnook who married the HK bridezilla. I bet he has to sit on a HK toilet seat and eat HK cereal out of a HK bowl. I'll give it 1 year before he presents her with HK divorce papers.

Justin Tyme said...

That angry hello kitty came out incredible. These are good examples of variations in cake design. I thought the star wars was the most disturbing of the bunch though. ;-)

Loree said...

Darth Kitty isn't photoshopped -- it's real. I've seen it in person at a convention.

Dement1a said...

Hello Vader may not have been real at the time that photo was taken, but THIS one is: http://www.saratrice.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=8848 - I know because I took the photo. It was at Dragon*Con 2007.

Rose said...

While that particular Darth Vader Hello Kitty may be photoshopped, I have seen an actual Darth Vader Hello Kitty costume at Dragon*Con. It looked about like that photo.

I think I got a shot of it, too; don't remember.

Dawnspring said...

Hello Vader is not a 'shop job, it's real. He's made appearances at various comic and anime cons. His costume is one of the more normal ones out there 0_o (whatever you do, do NOT google "Man-Faye" or you WILL regret it!)

I'm a grown woman and I adore Hello Kitty! I grew up collecting Sanrio stuff and still like it, though I no longer buy every HK item I see. She's cute and happy! How can you not love her?

Well, ok, I guess there's some Wrecktators out there who don't, judging by the photos *LOL*

Anonymous said...

Zombie kitty looks cool! Wonder if it was made for a boy who ripped the heads off his sisters Hello kitty dolls. :-)

Anonymous said...

You have to check out Bakerella's cute Hello Kitty Cake Pops. http://bakerella.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html

Lynn said...

Oh, no...horrible except for the vampire one which is actually pretty good ( but creepy )

Alana said...

I didn't read through all the comments so maybe this has been said, but the zombie cake is Debbiedoescake. http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/2659373222/

DangGina said...

the zombie hello kitty is EXCELLENT!

Aelwyn said...

I LOOOOOOVE the Zombie Kitty cake....but the rest are just HORRIBLE!

Peter said...

The Hello Kitty Vader is real! not photoshopped but really real. x

DANA said...

Vampire Hello Kitty obviously caught the Cancer Rat.

Jill said...

My 10 year old son said of the first cake, "it looks like Hello Kitty went through a paper shredder and they tried to put her back together. It didn't work very well."
I have been laughing until tears are streaming down my face this morning. Thank you.

April said...

I can't believe they would do that to Hello Kitty.

blueyeddaizy said...

Wow. Hello Pet Cemetery Kitty!! The cake that bites back. Awesome!

Anonymous said...

That last picture isn't photoshopped xD;

niiiiiice

Sr. Mina, BSP said...

I love Hello Kitty. Its so adorable and sweet. Its my favourite Japanese toy. That reminds me... must find and buy a Hello Kitty bentou (Japanese lunch) box for when I don't want to bother eating Japanese food on a plate nor in a bowl...

My word verification was "bressers". This is what Brothers call their clothing chests, since they do not wear dresses.

The Blogstress said...

This was awesome!

I've seen such horrors at WalMart recently.

The last cake looks like a pig of some sort.

Gabriel said...

The Darth Vader isn't photoshopped. I saw him at the San Diego ComicCon in 2007.

debbie does cakes said...

that zombie kitty is mine Debbie does cakes, that's just a shot taken at the customers house..... not sure who BONEFINDER is but that's MY cake

Sophie said...

I don't know...When I saw vampire kittie, I found myself thinking "spider mandibles". I mean, really! Don't tell me no one else did!

C said...

HAHA! Love this post! This is the best blog ever!

Minah said...

Wow..hello kitty,u r really so cute da