Monday, July 13, 2009

Beauty is Only Skin Deep

Monday, July 13, 2009

If you think animated characters today set an unrealistic standard of beauty for your kids, then you're in luck! Today's cakes will show you some great ways to lower that standard, all while teaching important life-lessons!


First, remember, girls: strong jawlines = strong women.



Also, some things are better gotten off your chest.


While others - such as missing limbs, sagging chests, and worryingly large necks - are best left unmentioned:

On the plus side, questions like "Where's the rest of her choker? Or her arm? Or her ear?" can help distract viewers from misspellings. Case in point: did you notice "bithday"?


Brenda S., Courtenay P., Aaryn C., & Beth, these cakes are beautiful, no matter what they say.


- Related Wreckage: My Youngest Wreckporter
Missie said...

Too bad the cakes turned out so badly, when you can tell alot of effort was spent doing them.

Makes me sad...yet I can't stop laughing.

wv: lasermin. Perhaps if the wreckerators had used a lasermin, the design would be more realistic.

Taylor (My Older Brothers) said...

The last Cinderella is like a kid's puzzle with pieces missing. Someone is going to find them under the couch when they move. "Where did this 'R' come from? Or this arm? Or this blue chunk of ribbon? What is going on?"



myolderbrothers.blogspot.com

Sam said...

Bithday.


That cake is just priceless.

James said...

Oh noes!! I completely missed "bithday"! I guess I was distracted..

Fluffy Cow said...

Why? Oh, why?

tomzgrrl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christa said...

oh wow...this reminds me of the fabric I was going to buy with the princesses on it, the faces got printed about a 1/2 inch off...it was really scary

Katie R said...

God, I love this post.

Talia said...

The sad thing is that the Firestar on that cake is actually pretty accurate. As much as I loved that series back in 1981, watching it as an adult you realize how very bad the animation was...

Anonymous said...

Not sure about the choker, but I think she's scratching her rear end with that missing arm.

Benjamin said...

That last cake is HIDEOUS! Heinous! I can only suspect that the person responsible for that was drunk or high out of their mind...

That is one three-year-old who is going to need a LOT of therapy.

-Benjamin

Inventing Weddings said...

I really love the Cinderella's 90th Birthday Party Cake.

Jane said...

HA! No I DIDN'T notice the misspelling!

Wendy said...

Good point - I *didn't* notice "bithday" until you mentioned it!

Trisha said...

The Ariel cake totally looks like Jay Leno!

Flartus said...

As a matter of fact, no, I did not notice "bithday." So the wreckerator's plan worked brilliantly!

Meh, I don't feel too bad about the wreckeration of Disney characters. And I've always wondered what's up with Cinderella's blue earmuffs? That second wreck makes her look like Ernestine the Operator. "One drecky wrecky..."

Fry said...

Is that Quagmire Or Ariel in the first cake?

Holly said...

Ouch. Just ouch. It hurts to look. Make it stop!
Wv: ablecha. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Jessica said...

I think you've completely missed the point. Clearly, these cakes were homages to Picasso. The strong lines and multiple perspectives were all purposefully done in the cubist style. These wreckerators should be commended for using a child's "bithday" as an opportunity to introduce said child to modern art.

Anonymous said...

What is the name on the first wreck? Kaiyl?


stoo

CrazyPeopleIveWorkedWith said...

Missed the 'bithday' first time around....

Ya gotta love that one superhero's single Madonna cone-like boob!

Lucia said...

those are scary cakes!
i am glad i already ate.
~lucia

Cat's Creations said...

ROTFL, you're right! I did NOT notice bithday until you pointed it out.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

These cakes need to get more sleep.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

LaurenH said...

You're right! I didn't notice bithday!

I was too busy examining how the choker not only doesn't continue past her crazy pointy chin, but doesn't quite extend to the edge of her neck on the other side either.

Which leads me to believe it is not a choker. It's a Bandaid

Leah of RamFam said...

I think Ariel is portrayed rather accurately. I mean she is underwater after all. :)

Julie in Arlington said...

Reading this blog gives me the energy to go get my medical testing done. I'm not allowed to eat or drink or bathe or wear metal or have chocolate before.

MzHartz said...

The fire on the superhero cake was pretty cool too. Too bad they didn't just stop there.

janet said...

What? Not everyone's left breast looks like an oversized lemon? :O

Andy said...

At least it's appropriate that the pointier of Firestar's boobs is the one that's so very close to Iceman.

Leslie said...

Is that 103-year-old Cinderella a dreaded CCC?

Lady Cynthia said...

Great selection of wreckalicious cakes! Anybody notice how badly Princess Bithday could use a push up bra? I'm just saying...
(Reminds me of this vintage Carol Burnett sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5mYiP2vAr8 )
Thanks for the daily smile!
(First time commenting - long time fan!)

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The female superhero's(superheroine?) left breast looks as if it's divining for water...or something.

Morta Di Fame said...

I'll take them all! My bday is coming up! Half Assed I'm coming to check out your blog!

Trevor said...

I love the fact that someone did a "Spiderman and his Amazing Friends" cake. I loved that cartoon as a child. Now only if it had been better!

Say, do you have the newest American Cake Deocrating that has teh ICES preview in it? They teach you how to make a CCC in it!

Kara said...

lol! We just had a Little Mermaid themed birthday party for my 4 year old. Thank goodness our cake didn't turn out like that!

But, Cinderella actually doesn't have ears, or at least doesn't show them. I'm sure the cake wrecker was going for this picture, but failed miserably.

http://coloringpagesforkids.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/cinderella-pose.gif

Kara

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

How are you even going to eat that Mermaid cake??? It's obviously a CCC (patooie!) but one with gross marzipan covering the edges so you can't see where to grab the cupcake.

That's too bad about Firestar's mutant boob - it was such a pretty cake. Why didn't they just make the left one the same as the right? And while i'm on about it, why does every comic artist feel the need to define the superheroine's hoo hoo so often? I don't need to see the "Y" all up in my grille.

Little Lovables said...

wow... the cake pan used for Ariel looks like maybe it was supposed to be for a thanksgiving turkey bird... does anyone else see that too?

Anonymous said...

That last one looks like a cross dresser!

Christina said...

Times must be tough in the enchanted kingdoms, both of the Cinderella cakes look like she's taken a low paying call center job.
WV: Unitch-new mosquito repellant?

Mandy said...

Oh goody! More "Copyright Uninfringement"!!

Those cakes made me cringe.

Bookworm said...

Aaaah, this is why I love your blog.

Kelly said...

Laughed out loud, once again!

Thanks
Kelly

saevitiasnape said...

That's.... that's a Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends cake...

Jenny said...

AHHHH! And this is why you go buy funfetti cake from target.

Stalker v1.5 said...

"Bithday"

Score!! haha

Elizabeth said...

I can't wait to celebrate my bithday this week! Maybe I'll get a wreck too, because deep down, I would be disappointed if I got a good cake.

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

Bitsy Baker said...

Sweet mother of god, someone have mercy on my eyes and take the pastry bags AWAY FROM THOSE CAKE DECORATORS!!!!!! Because EVERY little girl wants a mutant Cinderella cake for her 'bithday"...*gag in corner* But the screen..I just can't look away!
WV: reatean. I'm so glad that I've already 'reatean' before I read this post!

Cakey Goodness said...

Was the Ariel 'cake' made with cupcakes, fondant and magic markers??? Reason #837 why CCCs (patooie!) should be illegal.

Erica said...

Wow, Jen. I'm impressed that you didn't comment on the CCC (the old Cinderella). That must have taken some restraint!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

You know, apart from the, erm, unfortunate skewing of Firestar's anatomy, the Spiderman and Friends cake actually isn't bad! Rather spiffy, and brings back memories.

The rest, however, are done in the best wrecktastic tradition. I suppose Cinderella is especially challenging? 0_o

As for 'bithday', she's 3. Maybe that's how she says it? "Is m'bithday!" =D

Wreck on!

Brooke said...

I so did not catch Bithday

zebrarepeat said...

Don't look now, but the kelp to the viewer's right of Ariel is about to chow down on her.

Anonymous said...

Wow, the second cake looks like Yoda in a wig...

And I didn't notice "bithday." >.>

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

Oh my god. . . Ariel is my favorite Disney character, and they TOTALLY ruined it! It's so sad :(

Amanda said...

The star tip icing on the 103 year old Cinderella makes it look like a yarn rug - yeah, I definitely want to eat that!

Lynn said...

Whoa...hilarious !

These cakes are all good examples of just ordering a simple cake with NO characters on it and buying party goods such as plates, cups and loot bags with the characters on them instead !

AND why even bother writing anything on a cake ? If you're there, you know what is being celebrated anyway LOL !

Lynn said...

Hooray ! Back to the funny, clever side of Cake Wrecks...thanks everyone ! ( can't you tell I can't stand confrontation ? )

mollymouse said...

oh my. I didn't even notice "bithday"! I think I would've cried if that was my cake...

TattingChic said...

The last cake is also educational. You could even make a game of it; "Okay, kids! What's missing on this cake?". The kid who gets 'em all right gets a prize!!!

Wnedy said...

I so did not see the bithday because of the missing arm! These are hilarious!

Amy said...

Ariel's jaw is dislocated, the first Cinderella is in need of a face-lift, Wonder Woman (or whomever that is) needs a bra, and the last one is just too wonky to mention. :op

~Amy B.

:::b r a n d i::: said...

Perhaps the extremely pointy book is showing it's preference to the superhero she wants...you know, the ice dude instead of spiderman.

drgns4vr said...

I thought the 103 year-old Cinderella was one of those pictures where it's an old lady one way and then you squint and it the young girl at the mirror. But I kept squinting and nothing happened.

The Runaway Lawyer said...

Cinderella is obviously an elderly drag queen. But why is she wearing a headset ala Judy the Time-Life operator?

Taylor said...

I think Little Lovables is right, that Ariel cake pan is supposed to be for a turkey cake. So if tuna is chicken-of-the-sea, does that make mermaids turkeys-of-the-sea? (Wow, I'm a dork.)


wv: kilybia - New drug from the makers of Zoloft to treat depression. Side effects include depression, deep depression, and uneven tire wear.



myolderbrother.blogspot.com

Daniel said...

In defense of the Little Mermaid cake, I think it actually turned out quite winningly. It looks like something either a child or an illustrator emulating a childish style would produce. If they'd wanted something exact they could have used a prefab printout. This has some character, and I think it's a little charming.

Anonymous said...

That last one kinda makes you wonder if it's one of those "what's this picture missing that the other one has" type of a game, but they forgot to include the first picture.

G.H. said...

And happy bithday to all.
My husband and I laughed so hard. Poor Cinderella.


http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

Amanda said...

Had to look up how Cinderella actually looks, after those wrecks... And according to Disney, she doesn't have ears either. Or much of an arm in that particular pose...

Cartoon anantomy = WIN!

AmyLiz said...

Man oh man...that first Cinderella cake (103 y/o version?) reminds me of "Madame" from Wayland Flowers & Madame. (I'm showing my age with that reference!)

Laurie said...

The 2nd Cinderella cake reminds me of the Halloween party at my mom's retirement community last year. Several of the 70+ yr old women dressed up as Disney princesses as a joke. So funny! I laughed until I cried when I saw the photos.

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

My first thought on the Ariel cake was that it was actually supposed to be Wilma Flintstone!

As for the last Cinderella cake (the 'bithday' cake), why are her lips so off-center?

peewee said...

oh!!! That boob and camel toe on the yellow lady superhero...I don't even know what superhero that is....made me cry laugh!

When I die, I am leaving all my money to this blog.

Heather said...

Wow! That first cake is totally a love child between Ariel and Jay Leno!

Jessica said...

I too did not notice the missing 'r'... there was just too many other missing things to look for :)

sendingtheclowns said...

Mandy said...
Oh goody! More "Copyright Uninfringement"!!

Those cakes made me cringe.
****************
And THAT is why we should call these cases "Copyright Incringement" instead.
=^~~^<

At least, the nasty Cinderella cake was for a 3-yr-old; the child probably thought it was BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe even wanted to keep it--forever--and never cut it ("MommEEE! NOOOO!! NO cut SinDrella HEAD!!!")...
Kid's probably all grown up and on her own...her Mom's still got the damn thing in her deep freeze, having been too sentimental to part with it. ((SIGH))

Glory von Hathor said...

Ooh, Ariel, infected molars are a real bummer.

Just keep demanding cocodamol till the room swims.

Cyndi said...

Have you been to Disney World? Cinderella doesn't have ears there, either. (The wig covers them.)

It's CREEPY!

Those girls are GOOD at staying in character, though. A very bored little boy literally bowled himself into Aurora's legs under her gown at a princess dinner, and she did not let loose a single curse word!

sendingtheclowns said...

drgns4vr said...
"I thought the 103 year-old Cinderella was one of those pictures where it's an old lady one way and then you squint and it the young girl at the mirror. But I kept squinting and nothing happened."
***************************
Seriously? Nothing?
I tried squinting (thinking maybe you were on to something here), and it DID look different!
(!!!)
Of course, maybe that's on account of the fact that I squinted so hard, I could only see the inside of my eyelids...
An improvement, nonetheless-- so thanks.
>^ee^<

Rachael said...

The first one looks like you're looking at Ariel if she were inside a fish bowl. You know, that water and glass effect. Maybe that's what they were going for... yeah, that's it.

The last cake was probably a mutant Cinderella.

Peachkins said...

Why no, I did not notice "bithday." I was easily distracted by the huge neck. In fact I didn't even notice the partial choker considering the overall effect was so disturbing.

Miss Kaizer said...

Hate to say it, but that Ariel looks like Rumer Willis.

Jennifer said...

you make a good point- I totally didn't notice the spelling error!

Persnickety Ticker said...

That last one was wreckalicious! Wreck ON!!

Angelcake said...

I also kind of love the Spiderman/Iceman/Firestar cake. And that someone actually made one.

Just needs some slight fixing. You can at least tell the characters faces look like they're supposed to.

Kelli said...

My DD took one look at the 103 yo Cinderella cake and said, "That looks like Cinderella as a boy!"

twinklescrapbooks said...

Poor Cinderella!

colleenoz said...

Has anyone else noticed that besides the huge jaw, Ariel has eyes that point in different directions?

wv: extrif- these cakes are extrif ouled up

ForensicMama said...

No, I did not notice the 'bithday'! lol

sendingtheclowns said...

Beauty is only skin deep...
Ugly goes all the way to the bone-or in the case of these cakes, until the "decorative" part is gone (GONE, I say).
How about "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Which can morph into "Beauty is holding a pie with a pot holder."
I *give*.
Is it tomorrow yet?

=^@@^=

Gypsyfeet said...

Oh man... This blog makes me laugh out loud even on the crappiest days. Love the last "cinderella" cake. excellent. But it's your captions that totally get me. good job.
-V

Tom said...

Also did you notice the necklace only goes halp way around her neck? on the 4th picture.

Stillapill said...

I'm pretty sure those first two are CCCs... ack! ptooey!!

Paul said...

Is it just me, or does the first one say "Happy Birthday Hairy?"

Hyena Overlord said...

*rme* so much effort...such wreckiness. The one in the yellow jumpsuit looks like she's smuggling lemons in her top.

Nice touch with the two toned red and yellow icing. Too bad it's a wreck.

wv: thelyzin - a new anti-psychotic that is given to cake decorators so they can see how horrible their wrecks are.

Anonymous said...

You know, the last cake wouldn't have been so horrible, if certain details were not missing. T_T

Great finds! =D

Anonymous said...

It's a tribute to Vincent VanGough doing cubism with a lisp.

celestialcakes said...

LOL that's why I won't do a person's face in cupcake-pull-apart form.

Exit, Pursued by a Bear said...

All I see is white cartoon characters and not a single representative black face. That's SOOOOOO racist.

Also, both "The Little Mermaid" and "Cinderella" contain witchcraft and that's SOOOOOOO anti-Christian.

Both tales end with the main character surrendering her Feminine Strength and becoming a passive Wife Figure in a heterosexual marriage. Which is not only sexist but demeaning to Lesbians.

Both marry princes of the Blood Royal, which only perpetuates the empowered/unempowered class struggle.

And both are based on folk tales from Yarrup. Other countries's traditions are, like, SOOOOOO scary.

einahsketch said...

On the topic of Cinderella's ear, she just... doesn't... have one. Go back and watch the movie. Her ears NEVER show! It's so weird!

Anonymous said...

I missed "bithday"... distracted as I was by the choker, blue ear muff and the yellow "ocean wave" about to crash... Maybe the "bithday" girl has mumps - and they created Cinderella to match? How else to explain the extraordinary cheek explosion?

UdonNoodles said...

The first one looks like the love child of Jay Leno and the Little Mermaid.

The Jerseymooners said...

Wow, Wreckers are making little kids' fairy tale dreams come true. And by dreams I mean nightmares.

DangGina said...

those are the pointiest nipples EVER.

Maggiethecat said...

Is it just my monitor, or the first Cinderella's complexion is almost as yellow as her hair? It then occurred to me that this was unfortunate result of a drunken night spent with Grandpa Simpson.

WV: revel. I revel in the ridiculosity of these wrecks.

TracyKM said...

I made one of those shaped Cinderella "rent a pan" cakes, and indeed, it appears as if her arm is missing. I assumed she had it tucked behind her, LOL. But there's no excuse for the rest of her, LOL.

Paul said...

Something about the outline of that last one reminds me of the more recent Scooby Cakewrecks. I think they used the wrong template.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer K.

That totally looks like quagmire from family guy, if i may say what we're all thinking.

Haiku Joy said...

We pefe to get
togethe, paty as goup.
Happy bithday, gils!