Thursday, May 21, 2009

To the Pain

Thursday, May 21, 2009

These cakes have been left to wallow in their freakish misery forever, but we viewers are the ones who really suffer for it.

For example, tell me you don't get a brain-ache from trying to comprehend...

The cycloptic smiley clover of despair!!
(Now with matching ladybug!)

And that popping noise can mean only one thing:

"Pool Party Patty" has some serious 'splainin' to do.

You know what every caramel cheesecake needs?

Pretty much anything but large poo-swirls topped with plastic mold-specked hot dogs and hamburgers, that's what. Although I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the little surfing 'dog on the left:

C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?

And lastly, check out what Amy S. got for her rehearsal dinner when she requested a simple sheet cake with a logo on it:

I don't know what that is either, Amy, but I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.


Moira & Stephanie E., these cakes are inconceivable.
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DangGina said...

Huh. It's a CHEESECAKE. The burgers, dogs, and poos distracted me. (Why decorate a cheesecake at all? Let it alone, people! Cheesecake needs nothing! It's perfect as it is!)

SarahW said...

Did Amy s. Get an explanation? Because I mean, come ON!

Brie said...

Eee, I think the bakery who made the last cake may have misheard "sheet cake"....if you know what I mean.

Amy said...

Gag; that first one is staring at me.
The poo waves are nasty!

The last one looks like someone had some left-over fondant and random plastic decorations.

~Amy B.

Brittany said...

Oh wow -- Victory Junction Gang is the official charity of NASCAR... so maybe that chocolate-ness is supposed to be mud, from a dirt track after it has rained, splashing behind a tire of the winner who is doing burnouts in the swampy chocolatey mud.... um... maybe

wv:(my first attempt)
culta - Cake wrecks readers are in a culta all their own :)

Anonymous said...

Ah, love the Princess Bride references! :D

Was I the only one who thought of Mike Rowe (from Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs) when reading about the "poo" waves?

And how on earth did the last bride get THAT for a sheet cake when people who order fanciful creations end up with a sheet cake?

BeaksoftheFinch said...

Yeah, I watched PB on AMC this week too, haha.

Angie said...

Maybe the bakery took "sheet cake" a bit too literally & intended that last one actually look like a bed sheet... Who wouldn't want a chocolate sheet? Right?

Katie said...

Princess Bride!! <3

Stacie said...

Is that a sequence cake?? First you eat your hotdog, then you get your cake, finally it all comes out as dookie. How excellent that the whole processes is presented in each tasty slice!

Anonymous said...

Call in the Brute Squad!

Anonymous said...

Awesome Princess Bride references! I love it. "Chocolate makes it go down easier!"

Seriously, those are some bizarre cakes. Hotdogs riding poo waves?

Anonymous said...

The bride might have requested a sheet cake, but what she obviously meant was a couple of sacks of dirty laundry...

Carolyn said...

Princess Bride references make my day!! and for the last one perhaps they heard simple sh!t cake??

Passion Fruit said...

Dang.
Confusion irks me...not being able to understand irks me. So therefore, I'm irked right now.

I would have forgiven the caramel poo had it not been for the hotdogs/burgers. I dunno where to start and how that made sense to the decorator.

Amy...girl...that's a hot mess you got there. Looks almost literally like a hot mees too.


WV: cheancu -- the biological classification of the creature in the first cake.

Caitlin Greene said...

any day that starts with a princess bride referance is a good day in my book! Thanks Jen

klixtopher said...

If I'm right, and I'm never wrong, Gilder (the sworn enemy of Florren and all things cakey) is responsible for these wrecks. I'd stake my life on it. And "sheet cake" that word, I do not think it means what you think it means...anybody want a peanut?

jacobithegreat said...

Aww judging from the title I was expecting princess bride cakes. I doubt they make that many though...

Anonymous said...

No R.O.U.S. cakes? I clearly can not eat the cake in front of me. :)


wv - heelesit - heelesit wondering if these "decorators" feel guilty cashing their paychecks.

LaLanya said...

I love the one eyed flower freak! I think I might make myself one for my next birthday. I mean you only turn 21 fourteen times.


WV: Granada-Canadian Granny

Haiku Joy said...

How to explain these?
It would take a miracle
(Now with ladybug!)

Holly said...

OK, I would so buy a CakeWrecks shirt with...

"A mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"

That's awesome!! I laughed so hard I snorted Diet Coke up my nose. Mmm...bubbly.

You have some fantastic word journeys of your own. :o)

Anonymous said...

The first cake looks like Mike Wazowkski dressed up like a flower for Halloween.

Barb said...

Huh. First a very long email joke about eating chili and the errrr, "results", and now a bunch of cakes that look like poo.

This should be an interesting day...

Bonnie said...

yeah, I'm thinking the last one is simply chocolate covered sheets....and I think they were all made by a six fingered man...

Bonnie B

Carrie said...

Pretty much every cake on here has made me laugh (or groan) but the last sheet cake made me say, ever so quickly, "What the f*** is that?" No exclamation. Just pure confusion. I love the Princess Bride. I totally heard "incontheevable" in my head.

Haiku Joy said...

How to explain these?
It would take a miracle
(Now with ladybug!)


wv: emocrat.

What the Republican called the sullen member of the opposing party.

Melinda said...

Wow. I think this may be the wreckiest day on Cake Wrecks.

Why oh why would you put a plastic hot dog and hamburger on a cheesecake? Why?

And the "sheet" cake...OMG.

I wish everyone would go the Falker Satherhood way and bring video cameras. I need footage.

Anonymous said...

I thought I loved you before, but - Princess Bride!

Your brain, our comments, and customers' righteous indignation against the world's wreckorators, and you think a little Princess Bride reference is supposed to make me happy? Hmmm?

Dave and Catherine said...

Today's title definitely made me smile.

Caroline said...

That was awesome. I mean it.

Anybody wanna peanut?

Fluffy Cow said...

I'm thinking we have a collision of websites here...

Cake Wrecks + icanhascheeseburger = eew

Ronnie said...

Did they get to keep their ears, so that every woman who cries out, "What is that thing?" would echo in their perfect ears?

Loved the Princess Bride nod, and the crazy ridiculous cakeness. Keep writing!

-Ronnie

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I'm thinking Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Ramona said...

Cakes, bad cakes, that is why we'wew gaverwed hewe today.

I'll have to see if I can find a pic of a LotR cake someone made me, they made Mt Doom and stuck Gollum in front of it. End result: it looks like Gollum tore himself a new one taking a poo.

Elizabeth Douglas said...

Jen, you must have watched the Princess Bride over the weekend too.

"Hello, my name is inigo montoya, you've wrecked my cake...prepare to die."

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Oh come on people! Does no body think these cakes are INCONCEIVABLE!
Anybody want a peanut?

*I could go on all day and quote the entire movie forward and back, but I need to get back to working on my mahwaige photos. :)

Meagan said...

No one noticed the campfire in the middle of the cheesecake? so. . .
Flaming Poo Hot Dog & Burgers!!
Which brings to mind another film, can you say "The Bog of Eternal Stench"

Anonymous said...

hmm i think the sheet cake is supposed to be like satin sheets, but um...wow its messed up... to literal people!

Anonymous said...

Who in the world decorates a cheesecake?! That is just wrong on so many levels...

Anonymous said...

OMG - I totally want this as a T-shirt:

A drawing of the mini-hotdog on the poo wave

Below it: "A mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"

Below that, in a smaller font: "Cake Wrecks"

The drawing needs to be on the cute side, not the gross side, but I'm sure one of your talented readers could take this idea and run with it.

Thanks for the many laughs!

Heather said...

Too bad there were no cakes of R.O.U.S.'s. Dang, now I have to make one.

And hey, caramel cheesecake? I don't care what they decorate it with, I'd still eat it!

Rae said...

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you wrecked my cake, prepare to die!!!

Anonymous said...

ISN'T THAT PAIN A CCC?!?!? GOD HELP US ALL!!!!

Sarah :) said...

Obscure Princess Bride references FTW! :D

Whitney said...

Hahaha! Totally caught that chocolate coating Princess Bride reference.... and then saw the inconceivable 5 minutes later. I felt so smart.... and then realized it was so obvious.

Anonymous said...

The last one is obviously a literally a sheet...as in bed sheet.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!! That "sheet" cake is priceless! I can imagine the worker going: "A what?!!!" =^o
hehehe.... It's pretty clever for a square-lookin' pile o' pooh! Must have taken some skill =P

Claire.

KritterBugg said...

Frazzled baker running around bakery: "Sheet cake... Sheet cake... She wanted a sheet cake- Now what did she mean by that?" (Lightbulb flashing on top of head) "Oh, I know! I'll grab some bed sheets and cover them in chocolate! GENIUS!!!"

DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

Buffy said...

Ohhh, I get it... it's a cake wrapped in a sheet. That's it, right?

Mari said...

Wow, just wow. To the Pain- have you watched the princess bride lately?

Hannah said...

Loving the Princess Bride commentary! That and the talented surfing hotdog although I'm not sure if I'm more impressed/frigthened by the concept of a surfing hotdog or of a flowing poo wave. . . . something to ponder. . .

SDLollypoppers said...

Lemme esplain...no there is too much....lemme sum up. FUNNY! Thanks for all the Princess Bride references. :o)

ROYALTY said...

Why why why do people do this!!!! OMG cheesecake with POO! ugh!!

Meow!
http://kitty-cakes.blogspot.com/

falblute said...

I think that caramel cheesecake may have been an attempted ode to barbecues...we are about to kick off grilling season, after all.

The Source said...

EEEWwwwww.....don't think I realized that was a cheesecake at first. WHAT were they thinking??

Yota Armai said...

I am laughing just as hard at the comments as at the cakes, err wrecks. Princess Bride is one of my all time favorite movies, and the commenters are all spot on with their witty references. Here is my paltry attempt:

(In the distance a loud heart rending scream)
"What is that?"
"That is the sound of ultimate suffering."
"But who would have cause, Wesley rescued Buttercup and you got revenge?"
"Did you not see the 'sheet cake'?"

Christina Ragusin said...

I don't know whats up with any of those cakes (hot dogs and hamburgers on poo waves? Really?) but I LOVE the Princess Bride reference!

StevieB said...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

amanda said...

As for the last cake . . . Maybe the baker thought "Sheet cake, shmeet cake!! Naaa, how about stuffing cake in some of those cool yard clean up garbage bags."

Mmmm, yummy . . .

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I wonder why if you asked for a sheet cake they would make...that. Bizarre.

rhilborn said...

..but you have to wait at least 15 minutes for potency and you can't go swimming for an hour, yeah a good hour. :)

Tig said...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Heather T said...

I am laughing and laughing at these ones. The "cycloptic smiley clover of despair" legitimately sounds like something straight out of The Princess Bride. This was great.

Amy F said...

If I was the bride, I think my reaction to that "sheet cake" would have very closely resembled that of a shrieking eel!

Rocky (Racquel) said...

wow. just wow.

Anonymous said...

Princess Bride references! That does it- this blog just became my official favorite. Thanks, Jen!
Carrie B.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

say "sheet cake" with the accent of Inspector Clouseau...then you understand why Amy's "sheet cake" looks the way it does... just sayin'.

PrincessHappySunshine said...

The last cake looks so... pointy and unpleasant. And oily. WHY would someone think it looks appetizing enough to sell?

IsadoraN said...

Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Wreckorator when cake is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...(unveils the "sheet cake" and falls over dead)

jackie31337 said...

And how on earth did the last bride get THAT for a sheet cake when people who order fanciful creations end up with a sheet cake?

Now more than ever, I am convinced some wreckerators come from opposite land.

jackie31337 said...

Oh also, I can haz cheezcakeburger? (sorry)

Cathy and Steve said...

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You built a crappy cake. Prepare to die.

Beezus said...

Oh what I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak!

Princess Bride reference HOORAY! (Imagine Conan O'Brien's nerd impression when saying "HOORAY!")

karmapearl said...

Princess Bride quote for the WIN!!!!!

Caroline said...

Buttercup is marry Humperdink in little less than half a hour... and the cake is a total wreck.

Ellis said...

I should have known you were a Princess Bride fan!

Renee said...

Wow, these are especially horrible!!

Tomara said...

What's not to like about a blog post riddled with Princess Bride referneces?!? :D LOVE these cakes - maybe. I, too, am befuddled with the poo.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

Its not a cyclops, I think its supposed to be CROSS-EYED-which, you know, everyone thinks is...um...CUTE? LOL


I see we are referencing Princess Bride now... somebody must have seen it on TV over the weekend ;)

Marissa said...

This is the best title for a blog entry ever. I think I might have to start using this phrase more often in my life. Or maybe steal it for my own blog posts! :)

Lisalead said...

sadly the other day, I met a friend's parrotlet(mini parrot) who she had named Inigo Montoya

so of course I got down on my hands and knees and in my best voice did the "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepared to die"

What I didn't realize was that other people in the room a) didn't hear the bird's name or b) didn't get the reference.

They thought I was threatening the bird, trying to get it to shut up.

*shakes head sadly for these cretinous creatures*

WV - Punter - one who punts people who have not seen Princess Bride

Karen said...

Princess Bride for the win!!

The musishian said...

I think this whole post was a cleverly engineered plot so Jen could entertain herself with all her clever commenters' witty Pricess Bride allusions.

I for one, am entertained. But as the best quotes are already taken, I'll sit back and enjoy.

Michelle said...

Humperdiiiink. Humperdink, Humperdink, HUMPERDINK! (I just like saying it.)

Kristen said...

Hang ten!

Meagan said...

Oh goodness.
These were the wreakiest!

Word Verification:
Procis - the bakeries make the cake making procis SOOOO complicated.

Joan said...

Please tell me a "hot dogs riding poo waves" t-shirt is in the making...

the flour child said...

right. because feuille d'automnes are muuuuch easier than sheet cake. weirdo baker.
i sort of want hot dog and hamburgah picks for ALL of my cake needs. ALLA THEM.

Trish said...

OK...I'm seriously flabbergasted. WHO would desecrate a cheesecake in such a manner? To me, cheesecake is the King of Cakes (especially when it's of the chocolate variety). I could eat cheesecake for breakfast, lunch, supper, snack and brush my teeth with it...however, the whole campfire theme has me stumped. The poo waves have rendered me speechless. WTH??? Hotdog and burgers with flecks of mold. Gross!! And why did they not have the flames in the upright position? Limp flames...I must go and quietly weep now.

Kelly said...

It warms my heart to read so many Princess Bride references in one place. :)

Logan said...

In defense of the cheezburgercake, I don't think those are mold spots on the hot dogs. Rather, they look to me more like scuffed-crud-from-sliding-around-in-a-drawer-for-years-without-being-used spots.

Ashley said...

I feel for poor Amy. I'm wondering what the heck it was supposed to be.

Anne said...

Do you think the cheesecake wreckorater simply said to the customer, "As you wish"? (Or As. You. Wiiiisshh.)

Anonymous said...

The plastic carrot-jockey babies get hungry sometimes. They can eat the plastic burgers and 'dogs!
-Sylvia

mede said...

All cakes aside, I love being in the company of so many PB nerds!!

Lynn Baber said...

I love this blog more than I can say. I laugh out loud every single time I visit. Congrats on making it to one year. I hope to meet you some day. You are my hero. I am going to buy your book now.

Anonymous said...

Do you know what that sound is, your highness? Those are the shrieking eels. They always get louder when they are about to feast on this, ugh, weird caramel cheesecake with hot dogs and hamburgers decorating it. Really, buttercup, get out of the water and help me figure out what this decorator was thinking.

this one said...

i bet the person who wanted their melting chocolate taj mahal was mighty pissed to get a sheet cake.

For the record, I think it's awesome that Amy chose to put the Victory Junction logo on her cake. I'm a twenty year veteran of the Hole In the Wall in Connecticut and my heart always smiles when I see another HITW camp represented (especially on a wedding rehearsal cake!)

Karen said...

I can't decide which one I like better....cyclops or poo-surfing hotdog.

eilbeback said...

I forgot to wish you happy birthday yesterday. Checked in, but work was too busy to read the comments and add my own.

But I discovered your wonderful blog on the day you posted the Olympic Rings cake, and have been snorting religiously ever since.

I turned many of my fellow cube-mates onto it, too. So each morning we come in, work, work, work, and then someone laughs... signalling to check out Cake Wrecks! The post is in! Who'da thunk there were this many wrecky cakes? Many more years, Jen... MANY!

Kelli said...

Long live the Princess Bride! So much fun to see it again this weekend! I thought your references were great and then I read everyone else's. LMOA with tears streaming down my face! Thanks for the laughs as those cakes were truly "inconthevable."

Dana said...

I'm hoping that at least one of these bakers suffered HUMILIATIONS GALORE after making these cake wrecks!

HeathahLee said...

The Princess Bride is the best movie. Ever.

"To blaaaaaave" That's what these cakes are doing. Blaving. Because clearly they are trying to bluff their way into making everyone think they're really SUPPOSED to be that ugly.

Pam said...

Amy, "Yeah, I'd like something simple. You know, like a sheet cake."

Wreckorator, "As you wish." A little while later.

Wreckorator, "Oh my sweet sheet cake! What have I done?"

Wreckorator jumps off mountain.

vanni said...

And let's not forget...you should wait what, an hour before going swimming! :)

Iona

Jake and Tanya Wilson said...

Stop rhyming and I mean it!


Anybody want a peanut?

Debbi said...

NOW I see the campfire in the middle of the cheesecake. It all makes perfect sense now. How else would we cook the burgers and dogs?

Visione Bella said...

Brings new definition to SHEET cake.... are those supposed to be bed sheets or aluminum sheets made of chocolate??? Huh...

(AAAAAAAAS YOOUUUUUUU WIIIIIIISH!!!!!)

Aelysium said...

I was really hoping to see some princess bride cakes here! Something like... An R.O.U.S, perhaps?

http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:QNkatcgfVeTGlM:http://www.bonbonbakeryandchocolate.com/rat1.jpg

Yes, someone actually made an R.O.U.S cake.

WV- Phosa
I'm gonna phosa girl that I know to make me an R.O.U.S cake for my birthday.

Glory von Hathor said...

When I look at the hot dog surfer, I hear the Old Spice song in my head...

O fortuna...

Anonymous said...

"Customers who bought "Cake Wrecks" also bought "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Jane Austen." Hmmm...they also viewed a turtle pull-apart cake (CCC?)mold.

Sariah said...

GAH!! I can't even come up with a clever Princess Bride comment because everyone else has already done it!! Oh well. I'll have to check earlier in the morning next time.

Visione Bella said...

Ohh, and in reference to the ROUSes, didn't you have a rat cake post back there somewhere? Some heinous Steel Magnolias flashback... I think it would totally fit here. *nod*

Suzy said...

A chocolate poo cheesecake with hotdogs and hamburgers... what the heck??

Little Luxuries said...

See, the wreckerator at the bakery where Amy S. got her cake has a very negative view of marriage. So since s/he felt that Amy was "throwing her life away", s/he made her a garbage bag cake.

It's all very simple, really. ;)

WV: pawdle - a small puddle just deep enough to ensure that your dog tracks muddy water all through your house.

Just the way that I am said...

I love the Princess Bride and your blog. Both of them together is awesome.

Bobbi said...

I'm a race fan and even I don't understand that last one...seriously what was is supposed to be?

Aelysium said...

Ah! So, uh, I guess the link that I posted is to a site that tries to put malware on to your computer. Very sorry for that! Why people would use a site called bonbonchocolates for evil is beyond me, but...

Sariah said...

Oh wait!! I got one!!!

The hot dog surfing on poo cake... I know what cake that is. It is the Cake of Refuse. So bow down to it if you want, bow to it! Bow to the Cake of Slime, the Cake of Filth, the Cake of Putrescence. BOO!! BOO!! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! BOO!! BOO!! BOO!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, this is great! I love this blog that much more now. Cakes (however wrecky they may be) and Princess Bride quotes, doesn't get much better than that, LOL. On that last one, I'm seeing 'sheets' too, but yeah, how the wreckerator got that idea is INCONCEIVABLE! 'Have fun stormin' da castle!'

~Jenn~

Callisto said...

Oh man! That first cake is THE BOMB!

WV: snerunf. That final cake is meant to look like snerunf.

jengersnap said...

The only redeeming thing I see with that last one is it looks to be yummy chocolate. Otherwise, a sheet cake? Perhaps if they dropped a sheet cake and then fondanted the thing to cover the cracks. Or a roll in the sheet cake...but doesn't that come after the wedding?

wv: Tragge, as in the last cake needs a tragge team, stat!

Shawna said...

You keep on making these "cakes" ... I do not think they mean what you think they mean...

Love love love Princess Bride! Awesome... I was thinking pool party patty may have found some lightening sand... Ahhh the fire swamp... not bad really ;o)

Cake Believe said...

I know somethin' you don't know....I am not left handed.....not sure what those decorator's excuses are! Love the wrecks, love the PB references, great blog, great audience!

Cottagecheap said...

My name is Inigo Montoya...you wrecked my cake....Prepare to DIE!

(need I repeat it over and over)....

also....the decorator messed up b/c he "is not left-handed?"

WV: ostract
a conjuncion of "o can someone extract those bakers heads out of their arses?"

Liz said...

Amy S: "I just want a simple sheet cake."

Wreckerator: "Aaaaas....yooooooouuuu...wiiiiiiiissshhhh...."

Amy S: "Oh, my sweet frosting, what have you done?"

Laura said...

I totally got the "to the pain" title, but it took me reading the post three times to realize that the whole post was princess bride themed!

Rachele said...

WV: Aphorc

"Gag me with aphorc! Heaven knows I won't be eating any of those cakes with one!"

Becky said...

I hear the chocolate coating helps it go down easier.Quoting The Princess Bride helps too.

And maybe that last one is a hippopotamic land mass? Or the Chocolate Cliffs of Insanity?

Karen said...

LOVE all the princess bride references. Awesome.

Julie said...

I love the "Princess Bride" references...

Brianna said...

yeah, the last one is deffinetly a cake with a sheet on it, instead of a sheet cake
like when they order "happy birthday, and under that, Sally" and thats literally what they get

sommer said...

Cake is pain, highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Hyena Overlord said...

I've made cakes with folded sheets of chocolate. But they were nice cakes a la the Cake Bible.

Cheesecake should never be embellished by anything more than chocolate curls or tons of cherry pie filling.

That shiny one looks like they're duplicating a blown tire.

The cyclops is cute. Even they have birthdays.

wv: squez...should have used a hairdryer and squezed that slab off chocolate into submission.

Amber Nicole said...

LOVE the Princess Bride quote :D

tracy said...

That first cake is the most horrifying thing Ive ever seen

Anonymous said...

Love the blog, love the Princess Bride...only genius would mix the two! Congrats on a year and your book. I suppose all that's left to say is: Jen are there more wrecks ahead? If there aren't we'll all be dead :-)

Anonymous said...

The first cake is demonstrating that you can still maintain a cheerful attitude even after you've had a disfiguring accident.

Susan

WV comming: I keep comming back to this site whenever I need a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

Oh how I need a cycloptic smiley tee shirt. Those bright colors, that one giant eye, perfect attire for the next state fair. Please, can you put that design on a shirt?

I've had a bad cold this week, still can't hear well. I totally see how someone might hear 'regular sheet cake' as 'wrinkled sheet cake'.

Ann

megan said...

Am I the only one that started salivating when they saw the giant pile of chocolate? If I got that instead of a plain ol' sheet cake, I think I'd be jumping for joy! mmmmm.....chocolate.

Leigh said...

To the wrecky cake decorator:

"Fezzik, tear his arms off."

Anonymous said...

Dear God, what are these things?

Had to be said.


Thanks for all your hard work!

Ginger said...

Inigo: Are you the Miracle Max who decorated cakes for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?

Me: Such anger can only be cured by a slice of cheesecake with extra poo. :)

msprimadonna67 said...

Can I just say, I love the Princess Bride allusions? It is the best movie EVER!

Reba said...

Wow! Sometimes there's nothing else to say!
Check out this website....
http://downeasttreats.com/Specialty%20Cakes.htm

Would you actually PAY for one of these cakes?

Cakedreamer said...

I would say all of these cakes are are pretty much half dead...nah make that ALL dead.

And to these wreckerators: "friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed bakers in Greenland!"

quat said...

"WHAT?!", exclaimed my husband upon gazing at the cyclops clover. Yeh. It boggles the mind.
The barbie doll cake looks like she was supposed to be one of those that stand up inside a dress, but she fell. OOPS!
Poo-surfing hot dogs. I think it sounds like a good name for a band.
WV: misidi. Put these cakes out of their misidi.

Dutch Girl said...

So, SAT scores came out today. These Princess Bride references rescued my day. Thanks Jen!

Nicholas said...

R.O.U.S. cakes? I don't think they exist.

wv: wrion--the elementary particle of wit.

Pink Martini said...

OMG! I just found you and I am laughing hysterically!! This is such a great blog! I am a very good baker of cakes and this is almost like sugary/carbo porn! :) Thanks for making my day. Can't wait for another mishap helping to be served.

jen bryner said...

i can't even watch that movie when my husband is home because i quote all the lines and it bugs him! hahahaha

great use of the movie with the wrecks! brilliant.

"we'll never survive!"

"nonsense! you're only saying that because no one ever has!"

Libba said...

SO lovin' your princess bride appreciation. quite enjoyable.

TJ said...

"She doesn't eat the cake at this time."
"What?"
"The cake doesn't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous."
"I wasn't nervous. Maybe I was a little bit 'concerned' but that's not the same thing."

Best I could do. Oh, I notice the last one is covered by sheets of chocolate.

Stephanie said...

Wrecks and The Princess Bride... you have officially made my day. :) And the comments made me laugh just as much as the actual post. Thanks everyone! :)

kjl said...

The Princess Bride is one of my absolute favorites, so I was thrilled when I saw the title! I was a little worried that no one else would catch all the references, but just glancing at the comments, I was pleasantly surprised! I love that there are so many other PB fans!!!

TJ said...

"Quite a wreck, isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the cake makes you feel."

OK, I totally cheated and looked this up because I couldn't remember exactly how he put it.

redraven said...

I just want to know - does the sheetcake (I use the term loosely) contain cupcakes? It looks like someone just took a bunch of chocolate and wrapped it around a stack of cupcakes.

The hotdog surfing atop a chocolate poo wave...too awesome for words! Definitely a contender for a CW t-shirt.

Melissa said...

I have worked w/ the Victory Junction Gang (an awesome group, btw) and they are very protective of their logo and how it's used. Totally uncool of the cake maker to use it so randomly. Wierd, too!

Hot dogs surfing on carmel poo did make me snort Fresca through my nose. We're so 9 years old, aren't we??!

Melissa said...

Oh ya...

And it's totally INCONTHEIVABLE(gotta insert the lisp, ya'll)

Ramona said...

I usually lurk here but I had to post regarding the last one. I was wondering if the person who ordered it did so over the phone...

That MAY explain the problem. A bad connection could be the reason that a SHEET cake comes out looking like... well, you get the idea.

Sorry if someone already suggested this possibility... there are alot of comments here!

rae said...

I'm loving the theme today!

E said...

OMG. The caramel poo cake had me CRACKING UP for like 3 whole minutes. I have followed this blog for a long time but have never commented. That cake and the words you used to describe it had me in fits of laughter. A hot dog riding a poo wave!!!! HAHAHA! :-) Thanks for brightening my day.

Twiggles and Trunks said...

i love the princess bride.

Kristen said...

Chocolate wrapping gone wrong on that last cake...

I'm still trying to figure out what the devil it's supposed to be.

*snap*

Oh drat, there went a fuse in my brain...

ComfyDenim said...

You should get all sorts of Bonus Points for the Princess Bride references!! You totally scored..

and I'm afraid to admit that I kind of liked that first cake...

but that *Last* one???? O. M. G.!!!!!

It's kinda scary. -- I mean, what's in the thing???

Viva_Lolita said...

Cupcake Cake! Cupcake cake cupcake cake cupcake caaaaaaaaaake!

*OMG LOVE* all the fantastic PB references...

Angel H. said...

I'd like to pretend that they made one too many cakes that day. It was a slow day - let's say Thursday. Usually, they only sell x number of cakes, but someone got happy with the batter and they ended up with x+y. Instead of tossing them out they said, "F--- it; let dust off the those old plastic figurines no one wants, put a lot of frosting on 'em and watch what happens."

I'd like to believe in my strange little world that the frosting on the second cake is actually blueberry-, strawberry-, chocolate-, and banana-favored. Why? Who cares? It's just Thursday.

Jenna said...

I like the hamburger and hot dog cheesecake. Those decorations look like the little Japanese gummies you can buy in Japanese import stores. The decorator was just trying to be cheeky (like how I tell my boyfriend that I want a "Sorry About The Herpes" Disney cake with decapitated clown heads at the edges as our wedding cake) - is a weird sense of humor not allowed?

I also love the funky chocolate coating on the sheet cake - very abstract - though the logo is just odd.

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

Wow. . . these are very, uh, interesting.

Lizardisagirl said...

I knew I loved this blog before... but anything that quotes the BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME that many times in only 1 entry... *sigh* ... Jen ... if I were a man (and we were both unmarried) I would propose right now! ;)

Erin C said...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means
Love the Princess Bride Reference!

Mandy said...

What, in the name of semi-sweet chocolate, is that last cake???

wv: delyma ~ quite obviously the cheesecake topped with mini hotdogs and hamburgers riding waves of poo.

frantically heidi said...

Even the R.O.U.S.'s would leave those disasters alone.

Lisa V. said...

"Truly you have a dizzying aesthetic."
"Just wait till I get going!"
Loved it. (:

Ann said...

Now I know for sure that we who love Cake Wrecks are a mighty fine group - cause we so love the Princess Bride! I knew I'd find my niche one day!

~Ann~

Kisa said...

Okay... I had to leave earlier because I Just..
COULD NOT..
wrap my brain around the last one.
.. I ... I can't..
I still can't..
What the heck?!

wv: (first one!)
tomin - the race that cake wrecktators are part of. Not Human, they're Tomin...

karina said...

"A word, my Lady? We are but poor cakewreckers, is there a bakery nearby?"

"There's nothing nearby, not for miles."

"Good then there will be no one to hear you scream!"

Poo surfing hotdogs, what's not to love?!?!

Anonymous said...

Wrecksisstant: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent cake.

Wreckerator: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Summer said...

"mini hot dog riding a poo wave" You crack me up!

Stephanie said...

Oh, and about that last cake:
"Since the invention of the Cake Wreck there have been five Wrecks that were rated the most hideous, the most awful. This one left them all behind."

Jay said...

Mmmmm, nice, love the shine on assorted excrement themed cakes....shiny love shiny.

Anonymous said...

From all the Princess Bride refs, I think it's obvious the last one is a particularly unphotogenic ROUR*.

Or at least the droppings of one...


(Rodent of Unusual Size)


-Danielb

Sarah said...

"Anybody Want a Peanut?"

Love the Princess Bride Reference, too funny! The surfing hotdog... priceless! Keep up the excellent work.

Kelli F. said...

Ugh. Looking at those cakes made me WANT to take Iocane powder.

VeggieT said...

Are you kidding??? I mean in the cake world miniature food items riding on giant blobs of..... caramel is like the new naked babies riding on carrots, I mean seriously you gotta keep up with the latest trends....

W.V. Spitio... I think it must be the name of the overly artistic baker who made that last cake....[fake french accent] "Hmmf, they hire me for my creative greatness and all they want is a little 'sheet cake.' I will show them what a great Spitio cake really looks like!"

Anonymous said...

Me thinks I'd rather be tortured crying out "TO BLATHE" than lay mine eyes on a hotdog surfing poo cake!

And, just perhaps the "Sheet cake" ...was made by a little old Italian Woman who pronounces $hit like Sheeet! Therefore she got what she asked for...hmmm just maybe.

Anonymous said...

I must have been truely out of it yesterday. It took until late in the day before I realized you were referencing the Princess Bride.
LOL.

Anonymous said...

You know...I keep looking at that last one, and having a conversation with myself:

It's ugly
But it's wrapped in dark chocolate.
What is it?
It's wrapped in dark chocolate.
Who would pay for that thing?
It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

You get the idea. If you put it in front of me, I might crab out how it looks...after I ate it.

It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

and I'm apparently Inigo Montoya's sister given my id's predilection to repetition.

It's wrapped in dark chocolate.

Anonymous said...

I loved the Princess Bride references in the post, and the ones in the comments are making me laugh even harder. "I clearly cannot eat the cake in front of me." being my favorite.
I think I'm going to have to watch PB soon.

wv= repas
Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll repas on these cakes.

Mira8 said...

I am crying from laughing so hard. Hot dog surfing poo?!? Once again your commentary is the best.

Anonymous said...

I had to squint a little and travel back many years to my childhood, but the "psychadelic clover", I think it supposed to be a Frodis from an episode of "The Monkees" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbUwhVRQPL0 )

StacyH

katy said...

My 15 month old daughter just called that first one "Elmo." Keen eye, kid!

veg-o-matic said...

"C'mon, a mini hot dog riding a poo wave? What's not to love?"

Best. Quote. Ever.

veg

Amy S said...

So my mother in law is actually the one that ordered the sheet cake... she was so flabbergasted when she saw that cake she was speechless... I didn't find out until later that is NOT what she intended. And the reason it has the VJGC logo is because my husband and I met as working as counselors there, it's a great place. But yes, the cake is a running joke in our family...

mittens said...

Maybe the sheet cake broke into pieces when they removed the pan. So they said, "Here, let's pile it up and wrap this fondant around it."

Holly Go Furiously said...

Is it just me or do these blobs of chocolate look like melted peeps?

Bunny said...

The yellow one eyed monster is just... wrong. But ya gotta love the pool surfin' weenie! I didn't even know they made a meat flavored cheese cake!!

Elle said...

lol!! thanks for the laugh!

Aphrodine said...

At first I thought the poo swirls were chocolate-covered marshmallow peeps. Am I on to something here? I'm thinking that chocolate-covered marshmallow peeps might be the most brilliant idea ever.

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