Saturday, May 30, 2009

How Bizarre

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I'm feeling a bit random today. So expect...the unexpected. [waggling eyebrows in a hopefully dramatic fashion]

FIRST...

How about a construction worker merman?

I'm sure there must be an absolutely fascinating back story to this, but I don't have it. It reminds me of that time eons ago when Christopher Lowell dressed up as a mermaid on his show, though - anyone remember that? (Wait, what am I saying? How could you forget something like that?)

Here's one for those of you celebrating the torrid love affair between your pet lobster and rubber ducky:

I would pick on the redundancy of "12 month anniversary", but frankly I'm more concerned over this being a stock design. Just how many people out there are encouraging relationships between their seafood and bath toys, anyway?

Or how about this gem from last St. Patrick's Day?

You're really giving me some mixed signals here, Mr. Rich Irish Carrot. I mean, first you offer me monetary incentive to kiss you, but then you go and look all horrified by my appearance. Ok, so maybe I don't look my best right now, but it's still kind of rude to shield your sensitive regions* with that coin. Now pucker up, blue-eyes, or I'll sic my Carrot Jockeys on you.

Anne J., Meaghan L., and Rabi W. & Thomas M., I'll give you a nickel if you write "Kiss Me, I'm a Cake Wrecks fan" on your forehead and photograph yourself in public. (Our advertising budget is up from "nonexistent" to "Whatever I've got in my pocket." So I could also offer you a half-used tube of Blistex. Any takers?)

*Wait a minute - this is a carrot. Isn't the whole thing a "sensitive region"?
Melinda said...

I love it when the cakes make no sense! I'll bet the story behind the construction worker merman isn't as fascinating as the one you could make up about it.

MomofthePolka-DotPony said...

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the ocean.... (ominous music here)

Libbi said...

Wow! That's all I've got. And I'd kill to know the back stories of those cakes! Curiouser, curiouser...

Robyn said...

On the bright side, at least the baker of the first wreck has good penmanship.....

Half Assed Kitchen said...

And if your eyes travel downward a ways...Mr. Carrot doesn't even look all that happy to see you.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Renee said...

did I see a second weird carrot cake in that pix?

Sho said...

Merbehr...merbear? A really hairy merman? Oh brave discoverer of this horrid relic of some sinister, ancient cult, please post tell Jen of it's demonic origins!

The tragic part of the romance between bathtub duck and lobster is that the lobster can't visit the duck at its place lest it turn into a tasty dinner. Or maybe that's its shtick...like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

Keep the carrot wrecks coming!

Christina M. said...

I love how the merman is growing out his chest hair to cover the beer belly.

Tried to make heads or tails of the duck-loves-lobster cake, and gave myself a headache. Anyone?

Mr. Rich-Carrot is funny. Too bad his eyebrows look like they are along the side of his eyes. It's not helping his surprised expression.

christeljoy73 said...

I think I actually might know what the first cake is referencing!

There's a series of videos on You Tube called 'Charlie the Unicorn'. In the third one, there's a song about how all of the sea creatures love him. I know, sounds corny, but at the end he finds the snowman and his missing kidney. Full of bizarre images and odd humor.

'Candy Mountain, Charlie! Candy Mountain!'

Yota Armai said...

There was definitely a second kiss me I'm am Irish carrot cake in that pic. Incoceivable! (I've been saying that since the princess bride post) I can imagine the convo going something like this...

"OMG I just looked at the calendar, it's St Patty's day and we don't have any green cakes!"

"Boss, why don't we just reuse this stack of carrot cakes, they're not selling any ways?"

"Brilliant!"

Tracy said...

OMG that is hilarious! Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when the page loaded :D

Etaven said...

I have, in fact, met Christopher Lowell. When I saw on a billboard that he'd be at Huffman Koos, right at that moment, I told my mother to turn the car around, because we needed to go see the legend in person. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't dressed in women's clothing, but he was still unintentionally quite entertaining.

I would love to get the carrot cake for my Irish brother-in-law. Maybe he could decipher it?

Anonymous said...

No words, just letters to express my reaction to today's collection:
O
M
G

Who knew carrot cakes could inspire such bizarreness? I guess no reason to keep them from the fun just because they include a vegetable.

I kind of hope the back stories will appear in the comments, yet at the same time I'm having so much fun being puzzled and making up my own...

Word verification: perchedp. The Kiss Me I'm Irish carrot has a coin perchedp on his sensitive bits.

Haiku Joy said...

Shellfish loverboy
Knows how to protect Duckums:
Build a candy moat.

KJ said...

You know you've got a real man on your hands when you can't tell his facial hair from his chest hair. Merboy got some serious testosterone there!

Rebecca F. said...

Irish carrots!! YAY!!

Jessica Sandoval said...

Hey Jen! Have you ever thought of changing your layout?

Snyder Central said...

Why did Christopher Lowell always insist on dressing in women's clothing during his show intros.. a bit off the deep end for me! The merman cake is pretty funny!

Anonymous said...

Huh? Does that strange duck/lobster anniversary cake have tiny autumn leaf sprinkles around the outside?

I kinda enjoyed the merbehr.

Gilsner said...

You know... I've had the feeling, lately, that something was missing from my life and today, thanks to you, I finally figured out what it is... cakes with hair on them! Fake hair, of course, not real hair... I do still have my (low) standards.

If that's how the Irish carrot kisses I only have one question... is he single?!?!?

Jessica said...

How Bizarre
How Bizarre

wundermary said...

I think that's Ron Jeremy as the construction worker/merman. Not that that makes it any less disturbing...

Dawn said...

lmao. That carrot is so hilarious and cute! I have tears in my eyes.

Mountain Mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mountain Mama said...

My thought on the carrot cake: Irish people sometimes have red hair and are, therefore, carrot tops.

Got nothing for the merman in the hard hat.

denisewalks said...

LOL on all counts. Your horrified carrot commentary make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Amy said...

Umm..I always thought Mermen were supposed to be unnaturally beautiful, like their female counterparts? That one's repulsive!

The carrot and the lobster cakes just are inconceivable.

~Amy B

sendingtheclowns said...

Hi-dee-ho!
What amazing sights to wake up to!
Now, then. I do not believe that there is such a being as a "merman" C'mon, face it! Guys are too, er, "fond" of their ("er" again)..."STUFF"...to be hiding it inside of what amounts to a scaly, legless pouch with fins attached. I do WANT believe that there IS such a thing as a fat-bellied- construction worker-eating WHOPPER of a fish; this one appears to be having a very hard time of getting his "catch" down...*gag*
As for the duck/lobster affair (ain't love grand?), well...to beach his own...
=^><^= *cough*
I got a bigger boot outta the signage behind the ice cream cake. Did you see that? What the hell is "Aussie Vanilla" anyway? Vanilla with an unintelligible accent (like the ads for the "Outback STIKEhouse"?) And the "Mix-Ins"! "White Freddo Frog"? "Freckles"??
Better be obscenely yummy for almost $40 smackers..hate to think you're just paying for "cute."
On to Mr. Carrot. All I can say is that the poor thing's sign ought to read,"PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY UGLY GAPING MISERY" instead of "Kiss Me."

Mandy said...

WTH with the construction worker merman????? My eyes!!!!

KritterBugg said...

An IRISH carrot?!?! Shouldn't his HAIR be orange instead...? So cute anyway, but so weird!!! HAHA!

DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/

that girl down south said...

a bear is a large hairy gay man.
i'm not sure why he has a tail though

Deray said...

Maybe the duck/lobster couple is in reality Duke/Lauren or something like that?
1 year anniversary...correct
12 month anniversary? I don't think so.

Merman is totally disturbing. The only reason I would buy the Irish-carrot cake would be to take a picture and send it to Jen, jajajajaja.

Buffy said...

That last one looks like Mr. Hanky with jaundice.

MaryBe said...

Wouldn't it be easier to say "Happy 1 year Anniversary"?

Anonymous said...

Aussie Vanilla instead of French Vanilla maybe? (You know, when we went through that Freedom Fries stage?)

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous said...
"Aussie Vanilla instead of French Vanilla maybe? (You know, when we went through that Freedom Fries stage?)"
****************
I'd forgotten about that one--good theory...in theory!
My personal vanilla doesn't have an accent, so I don't know if it's PC or not. BTW, are we still *mad* at the French? I'm tired, and grudges get heavy after a while...
=^~-^=

Stephanie said...

You didn't even mention the fruity pebbles surrounding the ducky and lobster cake.

Miranda said...

I think I can (maybe) explain the duck-lobster cake. Supposedly, both ducks and lobsters mate for life. (Or at least, geese supposedly do; I'm not sure about ducks but I'm guessing the designer thought so.)

So there you go. Animals that mate for life = subject matter for weird anniversary cakes.

que_sara said...

that merman looks like a mouth molester

Angie said...

"WTH" is all that comes to mind on all of these. That, and a big full-body-shudder thanks to Merman. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

Mer-behr

Mer-bear

A cross between a mermaid (or in this case, merman) and a bear. Bear meaning, slightly stocky muscular hairy type.

Muum said...

AAAhhhaaha ha! this is even funnier than usual. love the mermaid, and the insane Irish carrot, especially. You made my day complete!

Tauney said...

I rather suspect that the Merbehr thing is a joke having to do with the cake giver's name (probably Mary, being called Mare all the time...my friend Mary actually gets called Mare-bear, kind of like Carebear...) Or his/her last name might be Behr. So you put it together...Mer being the prefix for sea-dwelling mythical creatures, and Bear actually referring to a large and hairy homosexual man. So you get a creature that is half merman, half bear. A Merbehr.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)

Gladys said...

Miranda...but do ducks mate with LOBSTERS for life???

On a related note, this reminds me (in some incredibly jacked-up way) of something my ex-husband was discussing with his co-workers.

"I mean," he said, "it's like...If you saw a guy running down the street, naked, on fire, with a turtle hanging off his backside...What would be your first question??? Because you just KNOW there's a story there. SEVERAL stories, in fact---but which one do you ask him about first??"

("I'd put out the fire, first," I interjected, as he told me this story. "Well yeah," he admitted, "but I mean, after THAT.")

These cakes, to me, are the individual gastronomical equivalents of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside.

(wv: redrabbl. The low-budget bakery could only afford to hire the redrabbl of the culinary school; that's why their cakes are so wrecky.)

whateverfor said...

Christopher Lowell did what?! I'm so glad I missed that one - years of therapy would've been necessary for me to think of that again. Wow.

As for the cakes...um...huh. Yeah, I've got nothing. It's just so strange!

Anonymous said...

phoenix316 - just how is a carrot irish?! perhaps a potato (a cake with a potato on i'd have to see) i understand but a carrot?
weird and weirder!

Anonymous said...

I want to see a picture of Christopher Lowell dressed as a mermaid!!

deckardcanine said...

I'm guessing that two people nicknamed Ducky and Lobster (for his big hands?) had an anniversary. Either that or the images represent each one's distinctive interest. Something tells me that the stock design is meant to combine any of various images for such a purpose.

Still no excuse for "12 month anniversary."

WV: dityrmin -- I am dityrmined not to get a wreck myself.

sarah Fravel said...

I think the duck/heart/lobster cake really means:
Happy 12 Month Anniversary
to Ducky
Love Crabby
--Or--
Happy 12 Month Anniversary
from Ducky
Love Lobster, or Lobby, or Crabby
That's my favorite, "Crabby" because we all know that the cake person was messed up anyway, so I think they thought the lobster was really a crab!
JMHO--Sarah

Morgan the Muse said...

okay, I must admit, I love that carrot. Its the eyes, man. And look, they thought it was good enough to make at least one more!

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Gladys:
About the (weird but funny, by the way) story of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside...
That image should be made into a CAKE!!! Heaven knows the Wreckorators are MORE than up to the challenge!
And I had to think really hard--because it's fascinating, isn't it?--but I think my first question would be: "What kind of turtle is that?" Followed by: "Ick--it bit that burning guy's ass?" >^ee^<

Anonymous said...

Is it possible that the construction worker merman is a reference to Zoolander?

Love this blog by the way.

Anonymous said...

Do you know where I can get one of those Irish carrot cakes? It would actually be perfect for husband's upcoming graduation from air conditioning repair school... he's a redhead.

Let me know...

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Oh and my e-mail is margo.dillweed@gmail.com if you know where I can get that carrot cake for the graduation and if you know if they can do it for a babby shower too because its on the same day im pregnate

Katie said...

anyone else thinking about zoolander right now? anyone?

maybe the 2nd cake's recipient's use the pet names "ducky" and "lobster" for one another.

and wouldn't the last one make a little more sense if it was a potato? i've never heard of irish carrots. irish potatoes, though, now that would make some good cake!

lisafarry said...

ahhhhhh.. christopher lowell. i loved that show back in the day. he has a new show on somewhere.... still with the uplights don't know if he still wants you to paint your kitchen counters to look like marble.....

Green said...

Hi,

The Carrot Cake is so cute.!!!!

Thanks you for sharing.

-Green
www.ahacook.com

The Greggs said...

You do realize that the "Kis Me Carrot" HAS to be the next Wreckwear design don't you?

Anne said...

Wait, there's a Chris Lowell who isn't this guy?

It's also confusing that the "Irish" carrot is holding a coin bearing what looks like... the seal of the President of the United States? This is terribly confusing. I am in Ireland at the moment, and I can vouch that their coins do not, in fact, look like that. Nor do their carrots have bug-eyes.

This whole post makes my brain hurt.

Also, I think the mating-for-life explanation is correct on the second cake - it immediately made me think of a long-running joke on Friends where Phoebe always wanted to find her "lobster", because lobsters stayed together forever. It was very sweet, really.

pika23 said...

I thought that Merbehr was something to do with the Bear type homosexual male that is known for being hairy and macho....

Catherine said...

My guess on the first one, as others' have said, is that its for a bear who likes to drag in mer-costume. Or is humorously being portrayed as a mermaid. It's a very popular combo here in New Orleans during Southern Decadence and Mardi Gras.

The carrot and the duckie lobster I cannot help with.

wv: get that carrot some anxiety medssm, quick!

LadyRhian said...

I'm surprised that no one by now twigged to the real identity of the merman- that has to be Captain Lou Albano, the 80's wrestler who used to glue rubber bands to his face.

http://laughloselive.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/lou.jpg

Hyena Overlord said...

Merman with a beer gut and a mullet. Lobster with a rubber duck fetish and sensitive carrots. Actually, in the right context the carrots would be cute.

wv...octry...where Country and Western Octopus fans go to hear music, the Grand Ole Octry.

hessica said...

all three: perfection.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

Oh gosh I am blind. Well no, but I may have nightmares.

jackie31337 said...

Here is my theory. It is mine and I made it:
The duck/lobster cake is the result of somebody going to the bakery (or in this case, ice cream cakery) at the last minute. The duck, heart, and lobster are all separate stock cake decals (they all look like that edible printed stuff). Not finding any suitable stock cake designs, the purchaser picked two semi-random, although possibly personally significant images, put a heart between them, and called it an anniversary cake. Also, the "aussie vanilla" and the $40 price tag lead me to believe that this ice cream cakery may be in Australia.

My thoughts on the carrot cakes are that perhaps carrot cakes are their best sellers, and they didn't want to make a bunch of generic "yellow" holiday cakes that wouldn't sell, so they just decorated the carrot cakes. I like to imagine it was intended to be humorous, kind of like when we left the plastic rat Halloween decoration on our windowsill all the way until Christmas, and just put a tiny santa hat on it (my family is weird).

I've got nothing for the rest of the cakes, though.

jackie31337 said...

Gladys said "I mean," he said, "it's like...If you saw a guy running down the street, naked, on fire, with a turtle hanging off his backside...What would be your first question??? Because you just KNOW there's a story there. SEVERAL stories, in fact---but which one do you ask him about first??"

This sounds like the next Internet personality test meme. Somebody make it into an interactive quiz! Personally, I'd be most curious about the turtle. Naked and on fire are not quite SO bizarre. but the turtle really puts it over the top.

Ciera said...

At the risk of repeating genius that may already exist...
Mermen at Work? Eh? Eh? :)

Meaghan said...

As the Wreckporter of the duck and lobster cake, I can shed a little light on it (well, not the lobster and duck). It's an icecream cake I found at an outlet of Cold Rock Ice Creamery. I don't know if the franchise exists outside of Australia, but they specialise in mixing bits of chocolate etc with ice cream on a cold rock. This cake was a display sample that had me and my boyfriend WTFing for a while, so we went back for a picture to send in to Jen. From what I can remember of this particular cake, it had about 3 kinds of chocolate and assorted lollies mixed in and was supposed to illustrate that you could have your own images- in relately high definition- on Cold Rock's cakes. I took the picture back in January of February and we never did work out the duck and lobster.

funnycide said...

Mountain Mama, that's what I thought about the carrot cake, too. I never really understood that anyway, being that the tops of carrots are green.

On the bright side, at least they chose "carrot top" as the theme and not "ginger balls".

Beautiful World said...

Actually, in the right context the carrots would be cute.

Passion Fruit said...

I kinda dig Merbehr. Not that he's hot or anything like that. Of course not.

Maybe the 12 month celebrators have nicknames for each other and the bakery stock images were simply very apt. Or maybe it's a weird fetish. Or maybe it just means to say that interspecies love is beautiful.

Leslie said...

I want the carrot on a t-shirt. LOL

Fabulous... absolutely fabulous.

lawnajo said...

"Kiss Me, I'm a Cake Wrecks fan"
would make a great T-shirt.

packy said...

My fiancée is bummed, because she sent in a pic of a shocked carrot and didn't even get a half-mention. :(

packy said...

What the photo of the Irish carrot doesn't show is that you can see the thumbprint of the decorator in the mouth of the carrot.

Really. I hope they washed their hands before making that gaping carrot maw.

Ann said...

I'm sensing that the duck & lobster cake is an inside joke. I actually know a girl whose nickname is Lobster. She used to date a girl who's nickname is Squirrel. Perhaps the Lobster I know found love w/ a girl whose nickname is Duck? Can't help you on the 12 month anniversary, though.

Valerie said...

JEN! I sent you a picture of the same carrot but decked out for a birthday... check it out! it's got a pretty frightening tongue added too!

Erin said...

Kiss Me, I'm a Cake Wrecks fan could be the best new Cake Wrecks t-shirt. Especially with the psycho carrot guy on it.

Anonymous said...

That is definitely a Zoolander reference. Merman! Merman!

esqgirl said...

I read the comments and didn't see this insight, so thought I'd post. I don't think the Merbehr is wearing a construction hard hat. Rather, I think it is a fisherman's yellow rain hat, that would match the yellow wet gear fishermen wear. Google "souwester rain hat" to see pictures of a real one ... ("souwester" for a fierce Atlantic storm).

Roxanne said...

There seems to be a strange sub culture of mermaid hybrids. I found this thing while on the jersey shore. It was so strange I had to take a picture

Shannon Brennan said...

I love the Very Hungry Caterpillar Cake. How adorable for child's party!!

Michael and Brie'Anne said...

Okay, let me say that I absolutely LOVE this site.
Now, on to the matter at hand. I think that I may have an explanation for the carrot St. Paddy's Day cake. At St. Patrick's Day parades (or at the ones I attended in New Orleans) they throw cabbages, carrots and potatoes to the people watching.
This does not, however, excuse the baker from using such an off the wall symbol for a cake!

Anonymous said...

WOW. My friend made the MerBehr cake. Merbehr is a fat hairy gay merman that brings joy to the world! Some of my friends are obsessed with him. How did you find that photo?

Grace said...

bwahaha it makes sense that the merman would end up on here. our Merbear (cake people misspelled it) can only be described as a deity sent to us to help us become more comfortable with ourselves, among other things. he is very sensual creature; grab a patch of back hair and sink into the depths with him, for he will show you many wonders that were hidden inside you all along.it is a magic helmet he wears, he is a wet-nurse for seahorses, and he lactates sweet dr. pepper. many christmas ornaments, glass pieces, and food items have borne his likeness. i hope this helps lift the shroud of mystery a bit...

Chrissy S. said...

I wanted to laugh so hard at these, but I couldn't because it is late at night and i don't want to wake the house, seeing as I'm the last one up. So I make do with falling off my chair while trying to hold it in. (recovered composure)

Cat said...

That construction worker-merman cake is my all time favorite cake on this site! It just doesn't get more absurd than that!

maka said...

the carrot with its sensitive regions covered reminded me of this photo i took years ago (totally not a cake, sorry) of a rather malformed carrot with a bit of an upgrade performed by a former co-worker.

Courtney said...

LOL at the anniversary cake... If you look at it's tin-thing it says its made by Cold Rock :O

As for the merman... *love* ^_^

Cupcakes Lady said...

Imao. That carrot is so hilarious and cute. Love it. xx

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think that construction worker is supposed to be a fisherman in one of those yellow fisherman hats. At least, I hope it is!

Valerie said...

I know this is an extremely old post, but the merman cake? I'm pretty sure it's in reference to these: http://www.diamondsofthesea.com/december-diamonds-merman-ornaments.aspx ornaments. My sister gives me one of these ornaments every year for Christmas. It started as a joke, but ended up being a tradition. I actually have a construction merman.... hanging on my tree right now.

Anonymous said...

I knowim a little late on this one but

its Chicks Love Lobster

its an anniversary hint for guys

Therapist Beverly Hills said...

Is it me, or does the first cake look like the merman version of Devo meets Jesus? As cakes are mean to reveal a creative side, often you really have to ask yourself or them, what were they thinking?!

Christy said...

"...but frankly I'm more concerned over this being a stock design. Just how many people out there are encouraging relationships between their seafood and bath toys, anyway?"

I laughed so hard I cried. It just makes no sense. And the carrot? What the!!!!!!!! Maybe a potato for the Irish but a carrot????? With a gaping maw for a mouth? Who made that and what drugs where they on?

WV: Powresso - When you're arrested by the whopping "POW" one of these cakes lets fly when it punches you right between the eyes!

cakesculptor said...

"Now pucker up, blue-eyes, or I'll sic my Carrot Jockeys on you."

You made me laugh so hard I almost dropped my laptop! I LOVE this website!