Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gothic Miss

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You guys keep asking for 'em, so who am I to deprive you of some rich schadenfreude?

What the bride wanted:

Personally I think the dripping ganache thing looks a little Sylar-esque, but it turns out that's intentional; the happy couple planned to use a Corpse Bride topper, and so wanted an elegant Gothic vibe.

Instead, they got more of a dumpy glazed-doughnut vibe:


[snickering] I'm sorry, but I think I'm in love with this photo. As you scroll down, first you see the incredulous expression on the bride's face (she's the one in green), and then...THE WRECK. Hah! Hoo boy, that's good stuff. In fact, I've been amusing myself by picturing a little thought bubble over her head, and filling in the blanks*. Hehheheh.

Fortunately she didn't let it ruin her big day, though: you can read the bride's account of everything on her blog here.

And here's a better view of the Wreckage:

Niiiice. That chocolate looks positively...crinkly. On the (literal) bright side, though, the blindingly reflective "rose leaves" prevented any of the guests from looking directly at the cake. See, Christiana M.? There's a silver lining to everything!


*But why should I have all the fun? Give me your best caption in the comments. The one that makes John giggle 'til he snorts wins!
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Anonymous said...

I don't have a witty bubble caption, but I love how the droop in all of the onlookers' shoulders echoes the droopy-looking chocolate glaze, er, ganache.

Word verification: requo. The bride wanted a requo on the cake price after seeing the final result.

Amy H. said...

Hmmm, for the bubble I'd put "Well if the cake is going to look that dumpy I'm just going to leave these curlers in my hair!" Love the site. Keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

My caption for the bride:
"You have GOT to be kidding me! This is SO going to end up on 'Cake Wrecks Missed Marks'! Revenge is sweet when the whole world is involved."

Vashti said...

Caption...."WTF?!!!!"

ROYALTY said...

WHY WHY WHY do these women NOT look at the baker's previous work before they order a WEDDING cake?? Wouldnt there be some indication that they would not be able to pull off the dripping ganache? or a stacked cake? OMG reflective leaves??? Who ARE these people!! My head is spinning, I need to sit down!

Meow!
http://kitty-cakes.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Really, I know it is not funny or anything, but the only thing she could have been thinking was "WTF!"
No way around it, that is the only thing she could have been thinking.

Katy said...

"Guys, I'm gonna barf." (the question remains of whether that would be an improvement)

Judy said...

Bridesmaid: ( trying to be helpful) Maybe if you look at it like this... ( puts hand on hip and cocks head slightly)...ummmmm...nope!

Brides mother: maybe if I took off my glasses....( removes glasses) ...ummm....nope!

Bride....ummmm...nope!

JErich-Oh's said...

"Ma, this is why I said we should go somewhere other than the Stop & Shop bakery."

Nanners said...

The bride looks stunned and you can't blame her. The cake isn't really a wreck it's just a huge fail.

twinklescrapbooks said...

I don't have a caption but it looks like they flattened tootsie rolls with a roller to make the top!
tina

Rin K. said...

I generally don't comment on the blogs I follow, but a caption contest is just too good to pass up. =)

Bride-to-be: "Mark? Who let Fluffy throw up on the table again?"

Cottagecheap said...

I think she is thinking
"now there is gonna be a REAL corpse"

Genevieve said...

Personally, I'm in love with the mother's incredulous, I'm-really-sorry-I-have-to-show-you-this expression right after she obviously unveiled the wreck. Ouch!

Judy said...

Hey where's that hissing noise coming from? It sounds like a beach ball deflating. Oh just great, first I get stuck with a hideous lime green dress, then my make up artist and hairstylist don't show up, and now this.... just great... okay Dante the weddings off. What do you mean you wanted to go to the mosh pit tonight anyways. You creep, here's your ring back. Oooh, oooh wait, it's stuck ( finally pulls free and throws it) Ooooooh look at my finger it's GREEN!!!!

Hmmm...kinda pretty though. Matches my dress don't-cha think?

Come back my little spider legged demon, The weddings back on! Yeee-aaaah!

Anna Kauz said...

Oh gosh! My wedding reception is in 2 weeks, and that is the kind of cake that we ordered, I certainly hope it turns out more like the first than the 2nd... yummm fudge!

As for the bubble... " What IS this?"

Origami Slayer said...

"Aren't you a little short for a wedding cake?"

Suzy said...

Speech bubble (bridesmaid): "Maybe no one will notice...?"

Bryna said...

"I can see misery in this cake... Oh no, that's my reflection in the little mirror leaves." HA!

JoMama said...

Caption: Okay, who took a DUMP on my wedding cake?!

wendl26 said...

Did they use "Magic Shell" ice cream topping for the wished for drizzle???
From the glance I got of the Bride's blog, she handled it alright - but I only say she is wrong in that many folks will remember the cake. Those will be Cake Artists and anyone that visits the bestest site ever: Cakewrecks!!! :)
Vivat Wrecks! LOL! Wendy

Reverend Ramona said...

You can almost hear the mother saying, "I knew something like this was going to happen the minute you said you wanted a gothic wedding cake instead of one of those beautiful cakes Kathie Lee and Hoda had on the 6th hour of The Today Show."

Ruby Slippers said...

Hello everyone. It's me. The bride. Yes, that was my cake. Urgh, and I'd just about gotten over it too. Still, you can't complain about being featured on the most awesome site ever, even if it does involve everyone else being happy at my misfortune. I'm glad I could brighten up your day!

You know what the ironic thing is? I thought about submitting this to Cake Wrecks, and I DECIDED IT WASN'T WRECKY ENOUGH. Clearly I have no clue.

After the wedding I couldn't even be bothered to take this issue up with the bakery. Maybe I should send them the link to this page, though. So keep the nasty comments coming! Haha. On the up side, if you read my original post, the cake wasn't something I was hugely interested in, so if something had to go wrong it was the best thing that could! Obviously I would have liked an actual nice cake, but far better that than my dress getting messed up or someone important not arriving or something. And thank god for those awesome cake toppers, which everyone noticed and totally saved that cake's ass!

More captions, please. I love seeing what you guys come up with. And yes, my mother's face is priceless!

Thomas Westgard said...

My caption(s):

Bride: "I though Aunt Barb was finally sober!"

Mom: "Plainly not."

Bride: "Not. A good. Start."

Rebecca said...

Mom says, "Well honey, let's hope this is the only short stumpy thing you see today."

Lon said...

Y'know, reading the bride's blog, she dealt with it pretty well. She wasn't happy, but it sounds like it didn't spoil her day. Yay for Ruby Slippers!

Anonymous said...

Well, with the toppers, the "wreck" works as, uh, a sort of, uh, ironic look. Yeah. Ironic.

Jimh. said...

"You say a SEAGULL was NOT to blame?"

Anna said...

Aww, the poor bride! I'm happy she at least got featured on CW, that's gotta be worth something.

My caption is: "What in Lucifer's reach...?"

I love the original cake but seriously, poor bride!

Ruby Slippers said...

GIANT LOL @ Rebecca!

Tig said...

Ha... that bride seems so "goth" with her blonde hair and bright green dress....

motherzucker said...

Bride caption: "Is it just me, or is that a cow patty on top of our cake?"

Fiori Floral Design said...

"Well, honey, look on the bright side. Your going to be famous on CakeWrecks."

Jenn and Alan Atherton said...

"Lemon filling!? I told them three separate times that it was supposed to have custard filling!!"

Shawna said...

My two bids on the caption "We can save this... All I need is couple of carrot jockies and a typo and they'll think I MEANT to have a Wreck!"

or

"Well this cake is perfect.. If I was marrying Homer Simpson!"

Daigan Vince Gaither said...

caption: "Oh great! I finally get to end up on that cake wrecks site"

Kelley Marie said...

Caption: Bride- "I knew I wanted a gothic wedding cake, but a cake with a Frankenstein hairdo?! That's a little much, even for me..."

Amy said...

Mother: "I'm so sorry, Honey."
Bride: "This looks nothing like the picture."
Mother: "I'm really so sorry, Honey."
Bride: "How hard is it to copy a picture?"
Mother: "apparently for them, very."
Bride: "This has to be a joke."
Mother: "I'm so sorry, honey.."

~Amy B.

BigMomma said...

Sylar-esque, classic.

I did have something else to say but I can't get a shirtless Zachary Quinto out of my head...oh well...

VeggieT said...

Bride: "What we have here is a failure to communicate"

or

Bride: "Mom, Where did we put Dad's Duct-tape?"

Mom: "I don't think duct-tape will fix this dear"

Brides-maid: "We need a pound of frosting 2 dozen cupcakes and a yard of ribbon STAT!"

Actually I think this would make a fanastic cover(or inside cover) for Cake Wrecks book! just put their faces on, or in, the front and then put the bottom half of the picture on, or in, the back, I think it would grab my attention, and would not only spotlight a great wreck, but tell a "story" about what a cake wreck is, something that people stare at and go, "huh?"

Amy said...

Caption:

In hindsight, maybe getting the cake at Krispy Kreme was a mistake.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

I just feel so sorry for the bride... Reminds me of my grooms cake: speaking of which, I'll need to send it in to you if I even have a picture of it - it was stuck in the corner. I'm not one to like the ganache look, but there's only one word for that wreck:
"Seriously!?"

Shelley said...

Bride: This is all of the cake I got for my money?

Mom: At least you only spent $20.

Sara said...

Beyond the doughnut glaze look, I'm particularly impressed that the baker didn't seem to have much idea of what a wedding cake should look like. I checked the bride's blog post and she did specify that she wanted two layers instead of three, but I don't think she requested that the cake be much shorter and squatter than the one from the photo. If you cut the top layer off the inspiration cake, you'd still have an elegant edible structure that is taller than it is wide, as wedding cakes tend to be unless the happy couple asks for something else. Why the bakery took the initiative to make a dumpy little thing without ever being asked is beyond me.

Still, good for the bride for making the most of it and realizing that a wrecky wedding cake does not ruin the wedding and certainly does not ruin the marriage.

Krusho said...

Epic bakery fail = Cake Wrecks WIN!

Bride: "I asked for sprinkles!"

Kim in ID

Tana said...

my quote (obviously inaccurate, since ruby slippers is such a good sport!): My Gawd, Momma. There's a cow pie on my cake.

Christa said...

"Are you freakin kiddin me? Did you pay her?! I did leave her that pictures right? I mean seriously, does this look ANYTHING like that picture? Where is she, I'm gonna kick her in the forehead!"

The lady with the white thing in her hand is saying..."Well maybe it taste good, I mean let's just try to be positive, we can't do anything about it now. Here let me take my glasses off and see how it looks, oh see honey it looks fine without my -5.75 glasses on.

word verification-inounces...as in
how much chocolate did they use for that cake, tell me inounces not pounds please.

allison said...

Bride's mom: "Well Honey, think of it this way: whether we eat a beautiful cake, or this ugly one, it all looks the same tomorrow right before you flush."

Bridesmaid: "Ummm, THIS CAKE looks like what you would flush."

Jenny said...

The actual cake was a whole lot better than I figured it would look. Granted, it lacks in the dripping department, but it could have been so much worse. (Which was what I was originally thinking.)

Eternal Helpmates said...

I think my 11 yr-old son nailed for a caption. The cake is thinking..."I'm melting!!!!"

Funny part was he didn't realize the Bride was Ruby Slippers. He was just thinking about how the cake is so much dumpier and sorter than the original.

Cally said...

Bride: "Mom, you're kidding right? Where's the real cake?"
Mom: "Umm..."
Bride: "Mom, this isn't a time to joke! If you made this cake last night, and you're hiding the real cake..."

Except as we know, there's no "TAH-DAH" moment.

That'd be one pratical joke...

Gennifer said...

OMG... WTF?

Spicy said...

I like how she doesn't mention the bakery. It was probably from some cheap, crappy bakery that they didn't bother looking at before ordering a cake.

I don't have my sympathy for women wo get bad wedding cakes. XD

Anonymous said...

"Ummmmm...who used the Stay-puft Marshmallow Man for my cake...and WTH is on top??!?!? Looks like a friggin' albino donut with no hole..."

Blackbird said...

Caption:

"Alrighty.
Initiate Plan B--
Cake Flambe."

Lisa said...

Bride: "You think it'd help if I pulled out some of my hair curlers and stuck them on top?"

Bridesmaid: "Hm. With or without hair?"

Mom: "It won't matter."

natafalie said...

My vote is for Thomas Westgard's caption. I laughed and snorted!

Ruby Slippers said...

LOL @ Cally. That would have been an awesome practical joke!

@Spicy. Don't worry, I'm not looking for your sympathy. Luckily.

madrobins said...

"I know the package said 'Contents may settle during shipping,' but somehow I wasn't expecting this."

My applause to Ruby Slippers, who appears to have had the right spirit on her wedding day: at the end of the day, if you're married, everything was splendid.

Cakelady72 said...

Okay. I do cakes with ganache drips all the time at work, but I have never seen anything this bad. It does look like donut glaze, not ganache. AND it's not centered. It's just sad looking.

Quote-"It looks like someone already smooshed in the groom's face."

TA said...

Bride: (though tears) "I know, Mom, I know - 'It's what's on the inside that counts.'"

SuperJediMom said...

The cation bubble would read:

"This has got to be a joke! Ok who is behind this? Betty was it you? Come on guys bring out the real cake... you mean this IS the real cake. I think I need some air..."

Anonymous said...

OMG, LOL at rubyslippers! Not wrecky enough! That'll learn ya!

and huge LOL at rebecca!

And at i'm melting!

I simply can't top those comments.

ditto on thinking the pics of the folks would make a good inside or outside cover for the book.

angie2

meags said...

"and i thought the biggest disappointment was going to be the wedding night..."

Anonymous said...

What's depressing, is that any "professional" bakery, and I include the walmarts of the world in this one, should be able to atleast produce a basic stacked two layer cake. Seriously.

This was a very easy cake. Two layers. A little chocolate dripped down the sides. Rose petals that you didn't even have to make.

So why even offer cakes if that sad lump of crumbs and frosting is the best you can do?

caption "Maybe I should start a cake business..."

or

".... "

Chiclet said...

Unrelated to the cake, but at some point, do you think the bride's sister thought something like, "I wish I had worn a shirt today..."

Fluffy Cow said...

Ok- number one: to all the cow references in the comments... Ahem!

Number two: Caption- "It just moved... did you see it?"

Number three: WF- faint ('nuff said)

Joy said...

It looks like the sta-puft marshmallow man melted....

libwitch said...

The roses are nice...and the cake topper is amazing. I mean the look on her face is just wonderful because it clearly just says "You have SO GOT TO BE KIDDING ME."

But at least the rest of her wedding went wonderfully. Yeah!

Anonymous said...

"It's going to look like the cake topper groom is scared $#--less!!!"

(I'm getting married next year---and I'm hoping for good karma...but I'm going with someone I know and keeping it simple)

Roger Rabbit said...

"Forget the Corpse Bride theme...Where are my car keys... We're going for a Corpse Baker theme instead!!!!"

Gina T said...

How about "Makes me want to throw up, but looks like I already did."

Gross, I know, but that look on her face says it all!

Lucky Wife/Bookaholic said...

Hey Thomas Westgard... I have a drunk, drug addict, crazy aunt Barb too...

Mothers to be... DO NOT name your children Barbara... they will be crazy and drunks.

Nicholas said...

"This is exactly what happened when I met my husband through the internet."

corkdorkdan said...

There is such a thing as you get what you paid for. The bride's original cake post: http://rubyslippersbride.blogspot.com/2008/09/let-them-eat.html

She went to a few places and scoffed at the "high" prices ($100-$300) and then went with a place that was cheaper saying, "go ahead and order the damn thing. I don't care about it anymore, I just want a CAKE and I don't even care what it looks like." You gotta remember you're not just paying for flour and eggs, you're paying for the expertise and time to bake, assemble, and decorate it.

jodea said...

This reminds me of my wedding cake experience. I am an artist so I drew pictures, gave them color swatches, written instructions..
The first thing my mom said to me when I walked toward the reception is, "You're gonna be mad!"
The first picture of me with the cake I have my hand to my mouth with a hilariously incredulous look on my face.
Thankfully, I got all of my money back for the cake since it was SO off.
I have to dig up a picture of it eventually to submit.

joyce said...

MOM: "with a can of Hershey's syrup we might be able to fix it.."

Charlene said...

I also suspect that the bakery "didn't think" her option looked enough like a wedding cake, so they improvised so it wouldn't be so individualistic and interesting. After all, everyone must conform!

But I do agree, this is a lesson in "you get what you pay for".

diopsideanddiamonds said...

Mom: So...
Bride: So...
Brides-Maid: So... Who wants tequila?!
Bride: That's why I picked you!!

Haiku Joy said...

Squashed cake, your debut
with such even ganache ends
all expectations.


Caption: Odette always hoped for a cake that would take her breath away . . .

wv: nonshee - the new PC term for men.

Haiku Joy said...

Cake's a snow baby
Sporting her first bead necklace -
Don't ask what's the hat.

Ruby Slippers said...

@Corkdorkdan - I'm not going to deny that the cake was low down on my list of priorities, as I said on my blog. If you've planned a wedding, you'll know that there comes a point when you DO just feel like you don't care anymore, and say "what the hell". The bakery had pictures that looked good, and the baker was getting married right after me and had pictures of his own cake, so we went with them. Shrug. It's not necessary to throw the blame around...this site is for laughing at wrecks, not for pointing fingers and blaming people for getting wrecks.

Also, just a point in reference to the "high prices" - I'm not American, and converting directly to dollars from Rands doesn't really make sense, because it doesn't work that way in real life. 100 dollars might be the equivalent of, say 1000 Rands (it changes daily), but that doesn't mean 100 dollars is worth the same to you as R1000 is to me. Do you see? What I was quoted originally was a lot for a cake. Maybe not in dollars, but it was for me.

Haiku Joy said...

re: corkdorkdan,

I went to that post and didn't see where she avoided cakes that were $100-300. I saw where she didn't want to pay $1000-$2000+ for a cake. Could you show me where she mentioned avoiding the $100-$300 cakes?

jen W said...

Rebecca said...
Mom says, "Well honey, let's hope this is the only short stumpy thing you see today."

May 13, 2009 10:16 AM
Hilarious! My vote for the one which will cause John (hubby of Jen) to giggle/snort away :)

Karen said...

Thought bubble: "I said I wanted the cake reduced to two tiers, not a cake that would reduce me to tears."

Booyah!

christine said...

This is my favorite one so far:
Rebecca said...
Mom says, "Well honey, let's hope this is the only short stumpy thing you see today."

May 13, 2009 10:16 AM


Way to go Ruby on having a great outlook on things.

Enna said...

This is the best I could come up with:
http://tinypic.com/r/xl9w1i/5

StuffCooksWant said...

These comments are making me cry... You guys are hilarious!

ha ha...."short and stumpy"

Bigmouth said...

Bride:"Mum, are you buying my cake in instalments??"

Ben

RSA moeder said...

Based on the thatch-roofed venue and the reference to Durban, am I to assume this takes place in South Africa? If so, as a displaced South African I am stunned and mortified. We have a proud tradition of cake decorating, and even have a technique named after us. Sies man! Dis n slegte koek!

ginlyn35 said...

My thought bubble contribution:

What the HELL is this CRAP doing on my cake? Dosen't the baker know this is MY DAY?

anyway I didn't think the cake looked that bad.

Trish said...

How about - "How did Uncle Harry's toupee get all the way over here?"

JohnnyB said...

Caption -

MOM: Coincidently, honey, that's the same thing that will happen to your breasts after a couple children.

meg in mirth said...

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

jen said...

" They totally NAILED it! I can't believe how perfect it is!"

Lisalead said...

Bride "WTH?"

Mom "Well dear, we are in a recession, the bakery had to downsize their cake pans"

- or -

Bride "I knew I should have married Duff"

Word Verification: Choomo, I had to choomo on that cake

Christina M. said...

Caption:

"Are you sure we have to use this as the cake? It looks like it'd make a mighty fine ring pillow."

I'm glad the bride was able to shrug this off. I'm just starting to plan for our wedding, and I'm getting jitters just looking at these. Then again, it wouldn't hurt if the cake did turn out to look horrible. I'd just send it to Cake Wrecks. ;-)

Trish said...

"This cakes looks exactly like a flaming bag of poo!! That was NOT the theme I was going for!"

Jade said...

"Does it jiggle?"

That's all I could come up with.

Haiku Joy said...

Got it. Currency conversion.

I'm just the sort of American cheapskate who sews her own shoes back together, so I understand where Ruby Slippers is coming from completely.

Trish said...

"Well, That's the last time I go to Walmart for my special occasion cakes!"

Sarah said...

"Um... what is that?" would be my reaction. Looking at that cake makes me slightly nauseous. I would have cried if I were the bride.

trutitipudlian said...

I love the fact that Victor is looking down, and looks utterly bewildered by the wreck.

Christina M. said...

Tried posting, but my browser crashed. (D'oh!)

At the risk of posting twice:

Caption:

"Are you sure we have to use this as the cake? It looks like it'd make a mighty fine ring pillow."

I'm glad the bride was able to shrug this off. I'm just starting to plan for our wedding, and I'm getting jitters just looking at these. Then again, it wouldn't hurt if the cake did turn out to look horrible. I'd just send it to Cake Wrecks. ;-)

sarraphim said...

"Uh... WTF were they thinking?!?!?! This is NOT what we ordered!!!!!"

Anonymous said...

Caption:

"Huh."


Nothing more. Nothing more.

Anne said...

My vote is for Karen's caption:

"I said I wanted the cake reduced to two tiers, not a cake that would reduce me to tears."

-----------------------------------

One reason why I eloped is that I probably would have been a lot like Ruby Slippers and said, "You know what? I don't feel like going crazy over the cake, so let's just get something that won't cost us an arm and a leg." And I probably would have ended up with something like this, too.

Makes you wonder what Ruby Slipper's baker's own wedding cake looked like. Maybe he did a sloppy job on hers because he was so preoccupied with his own and just rushed their order out at the last minute.

corkdorkdan said...

@RubySlippers - I just think it's important to compare apples to apples, give people context. The first thing I thought when I saw your cake was that this bakery was clearly not qualified to make the type of cake you wanted, not that they somehow didn't understand your request. I have that complaint about a lot of cakes I see on here, not just yours. And unfortunately, skills and experience to make something big and fancy cost money.

For the exchange rate thing, I know it's not exactly equivalent, but I didn't see any other way to get a grasp on how (un)reasonable the cake prices were. How does 1000 rand compare to what you would pay for a cheap grocery store cake?

@Haiku Joy: the bride is quoting South African currency in her post, not dollars. There's a conversion rate of about 10:1.

Magpie said...

"Well...it's certainly scary...just not in the way I'd hoped!"

Anonymous said...

Bride: "Ok, y'know? This would be a lot funnier if i was a cop."

bookbug said...

For the bubble, "Well, it could be worse. Just think: I could've married this cake decorator."

Shelli said...

I said "gothic" not "tragic"

Heather said...

"I really need to learn to say no. Why did I agree to let his mom make our cake?"

You are a good sport Ruby Slippers! I'm headed to read your blog now :)

Frank said...

My crappy cake is overflowing...

Brianna T said...

No caption, but the inspiration cake is gorgeous!

Haiku Joy said...

Pins, pins and needles!
Waiting for confirmation
From John's snort-guffaw.


wv: caterb

Song by Beables: "Seeking words of wisdom . . . caterb, caterb . . ."

Tracy L said...

Combined with the cake topper, i'd have to caption this the "ungrateful dead" lol. Poor woman, i can't imagine how horrifying it was to see that. lol

Judy said...

Okay, I've been to her blog and totally don't get the goth theme for the cake. There is NOTHING else in her wedding that suggests goth. Not her dress, her hairstyle, the venue, the groomsmens outfits. The hall decorations, the invitations...NOTHING!!!
So why the goth cake????

Joy said...

Can the readers vote? Thomas Westgard's caption made me laugh so hard I snorted.

And Ruby Slippers, I'm glad you didn't let it ruin your day! If anything, you've got a great story to tell your grandchildren when they ask you about your wedding.

flamegoddess65 said...

"urgh. that's what i get for asking the lady in trailor #3 to make my cake. shoulda went with wal-mart like ma said."

*snicker*

Sckuter18 said...

"is this the cake that is going to be on the cakewrecks cover?"

missELAINEeous said...

I don't have a thought to put in the bubble, but I do want to vote and say that Rebecca's from around 10:16 A.M. is THE ABSOLUTE BEST!

Barb said...

@ Lucky Wife re the Barbara name comment - Hey, I didn't know we'd met! Or was I too drunk to remember?? LOL

TheLuchy said...

"Ma ! It looks like the stay-puft marshmallow man was in your garden again ! And he poo'd on the table !!"

Shawna said...

Oooh Tough one... I'm between Rebecca and Karen's comments... Ummm and my own of course cause I'm a laugh a minute :oD

Gwen said...

Glad I'm not the only one who loves the "they asked for this but got THIS" posts best.

Kayla C. said...

"I'll title this picture 'wreckollections' in my wedding scrapbook"

Slave Driver said...

singing MacArthur Park by Richard Harris "Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again...Oh no..."

Gwen said...

corkdorkdan said...
"The first thing I thought when I saw your cake was that this bakery was clearly not qualified to make the type of cake you wanted, not that they somehow didn't understand your request. I have that complaint about a lot of cakes I see on here, not just yours."

So, in your opinion, corkdork, when does the bakery have the responsibility to turn down an order that they know they shouldn't take?

What if the bakery has a book full of pictures of nice cakes? What if the bride shows them her picture and they assure her they can make it, instead of admitting that they can't?

Doesn't the bakery have the obligation to follow through on the contract, no matter what price they've agreed upon? Or do you think that any couple paying less than $300 deserves a crappy looking cake, just on principal?

Jealous Bitch said...

Caption:

"Oh great, now my picture on Cake Wrecks is going to be me in these curlers."

Scritzy said...

"I'm sorry, honey. She must have thought that 'goth' meant the same thing as 'oh, it's SUPPOSED to look bad."

"Give me the pitchfork. I am SO going after those [insert preferred descriptive noun here] at Piggly Wiggly."

"Holy crap!" "Precisely."

Brianna T said...

"This looks nothing like Epcot."

Laura R said...

come come, let's be reasonable. it seems they had a film noire/ movie theme, and it was a very classy cake they were after! i think the price sounds reasonable, but then, i made my own cake.


wv: theedome (sounds like a stadium)

AnonGirl said...

Captions:
WTF?!?
You've got to be kidding me!
I certainly hope they don't think we're paying for this!
No really; you've got to be kidding me!
There's no time to fix this.
This is _so_ going on Cake Wrecks.

DEBBIE said...

OMG! LOL@ ENNA! SERIOUSLY WORTH THE TIME TO GO SEE HER THOUGHT BUBBLES

Sarah said...

Although Victor screwed up by buying silk flowers rather than pay for a real florist, and the rain caused a muddy puddle that got all over his bride's shoes, he was able to make it up to Emily on their wedding day by offering to submit their photo to her favorite blog, Cake Wrecks.

The Masked Mommy said...

That's the photograph RIGHT THERE that you need for your book cover! Seriously!

Kelly M said...

Caption:
I knew my fiance was nervous but did he have to have an accident on the cake?? What do we do with a poo stained cake??

-Sea Nymph- said...

Pick any of the three in the picture:
"...Huh."

It's gotta be one of those undecided tone huhs, though. With a bit of an upward chin action or a slow "well, there it is" sort of nods.

Coffee Chick said...

This has GOT to be the book cover. The expressions are priceless!!!!

Bradkitty said...

Caption: "Oh. My. Goth. I am going to die. Again."

Mrs said...

Caption, "It's got roses on it. You like roses."
~Goth Bunnyy

parlezvouskiwi said...

OH MY GOD. How disappointed would you be!!!

Kate said...

I do not have a caption for the bride but i think the look on the toppers faces says "oh god, what chocolate quick sand is this?"

goth-bunnyy said...

Trying agian . .

"It's got roses on it . . . You like roses."

Ruby Slippers said...

@corkdorkdan: I see your point that the baker turned out not to be qualified for this kind of job, but I wasn't to know that. If they had this kind of picture in their book I wouldn't actually have hired them! I agree with Gwen - so if a bride pays less than X amount for a cake, then she has to assume it's going to be a wreck? That's not fair.

A storebought cake that you find on regular shelves is usually about 40 or 50 Rand. That's just one tier, of course. That's why I couldn't fathom paying R2700 for a cake to feed less than 70 people!

@Judy: I wasn't trying to have a gothic theme (that was Cake Wreck's own assumption). The Corpse Bride thing was partly because of the *movie* theme we had, and just because it was cute and quirky. Oh, and also because our wedding was on Halloween. As for the cake, we just liked it. No ulterior gothic motive!

And for those of you who asked: It actually tasted great! So that was something.

frigglesnitz said...

"Someone grab the plunger, I think my cake's backed up!"

wv coness- Ruby Slippers must've talked to the coness at the bakery who led her to believe they could pull the inspiration cake off.

Anonymous said...

quotes!
bride: "ooh, how interesting! it's not what i asked for, but look at the patterns! all that black and white! and it's much bigger than i expected, too! if only we could get that brown-red-white lumpy thing off of it..."
mother: "er... that's the table, honey. that... brown-red-white lumpy thing- that's the cake."
bride: oh....

Lisalead said...

Now voting for Briana

"this looks nothing like Epcot"

Jagyularr said...

What's even funnier is that in the picture with the cake topper, it really looks like Victor (the male figure) is also gazing at the cake in disbelief.

WV: unding - what the baker's life will be if tha bride ever gets her hands on him/her.

Minyassa said...

Caption:

"...you dropped my real cake outside, didn't you. Honestly...this is like trying to buy a new matching hamster to hide the fact that the old one died!"

WV: "protica"...goodnight everybody!!

ksaldria said...

The wedding wrecks make me cringe the most D:

On the other hand the first picture of how the cake was supposed to look is awesome! I love that cake!

Alix said...

Thank GOD for the classy cake topper is all I can say.

And I mean that sincerely.





No freaking way... word verification is "bleds."

Amy said...

Bride: Ha Ha really funny, now where's the real cake.

Mom: Honey I'm sorry this is the real cake.

Bride: Come on you guys, I need to finish getting ready, where's the real cake.

Bridesmaid: This is the real cake.

Bride: Really? OHHHHH.

Emily said...

Bride:
Aw come on! They didn't even give us a picture of Hugh Jackman naked!

Meghan said...

"Didn't I ask him to empty the diaper genie?"

Meghan said...

"Didn't I tell him to empty the diaper genie and this is what he did?"

Nick said...

My goodness, y'all are right . . . it doesn't look anything like epcot! Egads!


Whoever first mentioned that as a caption is brilliant.

Cassy said...

Caption:
"Oh fantastic, now all we need is a fat cop and the scene will be completely set, where is my vodka"

Jumpyham said...

Caption:

"Hey....delivery guy, come back COME BACK I say!! This is not my cake! Was the wreckerator a near-sighted, hungry pigeon? COME BACK!"
XD

Anonymous said...

My vote for best caption goes to

Rebecca said...

Mom says, "Well honey, let's hope this is the only short stumpy thing you see today."

It certainly made me laugh. Good for you Ruby Slippers for maintaining a healthy perspective on a big day. May you have many happy years together. You have certainly made some folks happy here today.

-WM

Kyrelsis Fizzlesalot said...

Mother of bride, "When they said they had to replace their baker I had no idea she was a 4 foot 16 year old."

Anonymous said...

I think I sort of know what happened. The bride requested "two layers." Technically, that cake is two layers. However, she obviously mean to "tiers." To look like the photo, each cake would have several layers. The baker should have known better, or if there was some confusion, he should have called the bride to clarify. He obviously couldn't make a cake like the picture with only two layers. Well, if he were really skilled, maybe, but he's obviously not really skilled. However, despite the possible miscommunication, there's no excuse for the crackly ganache and ugly rosebuds.

Juliana said...

I think Ruby Slippers deserves some Wreck swag, like a Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockey t-shirt for being a great sport.....

Mum-me said...

Caption: "Who would put an overweight starfish on top of a cake .... hang on, is that MY wedding cake????"

Kim said...

Oh Lord. O_o

I paid $120 for my wedding cake from Walmart and it looked infinately better than that.

Nicole T. said...

Not sure if anyone else noticed, but the graham crackers are missing from the huge s'more!

I mean, seriously, it looks like a huge marshmallow with melted chocolate. :P

Hyena Overlord said...

Sorry...the cake should be in a commercial for traveler's diarrhea. "no matter where you're going or what the occassion...."

wv...unctest...reminds me of a note passed to me by a previous co worker. "thine unctuous manner and spiteful tongue hath convinced me that thine are naught but a bitch." He was adorable.

chefmom09 said...

"you have got to be fu__ing kidding me right... "

Cammie said...

Darn...Vashti beat me to my caption!

Meagan said...

"I know that I said that I wanted something different and unusual, but this is SO not what I meant!"

or
"Who ordered the S'More cake?"

Great attitude RubySlippers!

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

If my cake turns out completely crappy like that, I would probably shoot whoever made it.

corkdorkdan said...

@RubySlippers - Thanks for the clarification. I've never planned or paid for a wedding, so I don't know how expensive they are. The prices you quoted do seem pretty high.

I don't think that you should assume every cake under X dollars is a wreck, but it's reasonable to assume the level of skill and effort that goes into it are less than that of a more expensive one, especially if you get several quotes that are more expensive. When I buy a pair of headphones that are $5 they might work fine, but I assume that the other ones on the shelf that are all $20 are probably better.

@Gwen - I'm not sure the bakery ever has a responsibility to turn down a customer. No salesperson is going to turn down business, especially if the person making the sale is different from the one assigned to make the cake. However, I do think if the bride was not satisfied with her purchase, she has every right to a refund and the bakery has a responsibility to fulfill that obligation. I would point out in this case that the bakery made the right decision. It appears they made the sale, they provided an inferior product, they were never questioned about it, and didn't receive any bad press about it. If there's no consequence, why would they turn down the sale?

Stillapill said...

"I KNEW we should never have let Aunt Sylvia make the cake for our wedding present. She never did like me."

jackalibis said...

"You're kidding, right? I could have saved $500 and did this myself!"

Alexandria @ http://jackalibis.dreamwidth.org/

(And this is now going to be forwarded to the brides-to-be in my life--two of my friends are getting married soon, and I want to ensure they understand the importance of ensuring the baker knows what the heck they're doing.)

Simon said...

"Y'know ... it's got a corpse topper. We could always claim the cake is decomposing, too."

"But no one would eat it, then!"

"... hey, more to freeze for the anniversary!"

Mandi Morgue said...

Gah. No witty comment. So sad though, as the original was a beautiful cake.

Love your site, by the way!!

Ruby Slippers said...

*waves* I'll take wreck swag! Over here!

:-)

If I get on the book cover, do I get royalties? Because that's the only way I'll agree to having a picture of me in curlers and no make-up in a book! :P

I love the person who pointed out that Victor the Corpse Groom is looking incredulously at the cake too! Haha. I never noticed that. Brilliant.

Carol said...

Ok, now I'm worried about the groom's cake I just ordered. If it turns out properly, it's going to be a Red Wings mascot octopus on top of a hockey puck.

If it doesn't. It's going to look like a purple blob, on top of a hunk of coal.

verizonbeans said...

Again, I beg you to stop putting asterisks in the copy then making us scroll all the way to the bottom of the post, then all the way back up. I hate that!

Anonymous said...

"I wonder if I could have saved some money and just let my flower-girl bake the cake, it might have looked better, she did get an "A" on her grade one art project..."

I would have totally sued the baker for this one, it might not get her a beautiful wedding cake but it might make her feel better to know that she could put this charlatan out of business.

Karen said...

Caption:

"Is it too late to get that Entenmann's cake?"

http://withoutastitch.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Bride: "Two hours. I have two hours. I can get to the bakery, kill them all, take the express way back, and still have time to fix my hair. Now, where did I leave my shotgun?"

8) Windrose

Judy said...

Okay two things:

Firstly:
I think the original cake was made with BUTTERCREAM by someone who knows how to use GANACHE CORRECTLY. The second was made with FONDANT by some who used cheap COUVERTURE and INCORRECTLY. Basically in a nutshell - they had no idea what they were doing!

And secondly :
@verizonbeans who said: "Again, I beg you to stop putting asterisks in the copy then making us scroll all the way to the bottom of the post, then all the way back up. I hate that!"

I've only one thing to say to that - If you don't like the way Jen does her blog then don't read it. Go to another site. No ones nailed your little tail to the floor here.

Amy R said...

"I think we need to return this to Little Miss Muffet"

Dorci said...

"What the crap."

blueiguana42 said...

My classy wedding...*ruined*!

Steve said...

No snappy comment, but anyone here read Calvin & Hobbes?? Is it just me, or do the bride, her sister and her mother look like they could be some of Calvin's aghast snowmen??

Jenna said...

"I can't believe you ordered a wedding cake from Dunkin' Donuts".

Jenna said...

BTW, while I like the "only short and stumpy thing you see on your wedding day" comment, it assumes that the bride hasn't already seen her fiance's, err, "groom's cake".

In this day and age, that's not particularly likely.

Justi said...

Wow, that is too funny!

Judy said...

Okay Steve I am so totally picturing Calvin and Hobbes Aghast Snowmen now HA! HA! you are so right!!!! Hilarious!

bethmohler said...

My Caption..."I told my fiancee that Duff doesn't work out of the back of a truck parked behind the Ikea, but nooooooo."

The ViXeNatOr said...

I feel sooo bad for this girl. Her dreams must have been crushed!

Bookworm said...

The bride is thinking: "There will be blood on this cake after all. THE BAKER'S BLOOD!!!" :)

Kim said...

"That looks more Herman Munster than what I intended as the Bride of Frankenstein, where do the neck screws go? Hmmm"

Anonymous said...

It looks like Sylar stole this cake's superpowers...

NP said...

"Why did I go with the Abercrombie & Fitch bakery for my Hot Topic cake?"

Terri said...

Kudos to the bride for making the best of it! I think most women would have gone all bridezilla and shredded the entire reception to bits.

Anonymous said...

corpse bridge theme = insta-fail

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