Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gothic Miss

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You guys keep asking for 'em, so who am I to deprive you of some rich schadenfreude?

What the bride wanted:

Personally I think the dripping ganache thing looks a little Sylar-esque, but it turns out that's intentional; the happy couple planned to use a Corpse Bride topper, and so wanted an elegant Gothic vibe.

Instead, they got more of a dumpy glazed-doughnut vibe:

[snickering] I'm sorry, but I think I'm in love with this photo. As you scroll down, first you see the incredulous expression on the bride's face (she's the one in green), and then...THE WRECK. Hah! Hoo boy, that's good stuff. In fact, I've been amusing myself by picturing a little thought bubble over her head, and filling in the blanks*. Hehheheh.

Fortunately she didn't let it ruin her big day, though: you can read the bride's account of everything on her blog here.

And here's a better view of the Wreckage:

Niiiice. That chocolate looks positively...crinkly. On the (literal) bright side, though, the blindingly reflective "rose leaves" prevented any of the guests from looking directly at the cake. See, Christiana M.? There's a silver lining to everything!

*But why should I have all the fun? Give me your best caption in the comments. The one that makes John giggle 'til he snorts wins!
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Creative Juice by Loni said...

'Til Death-By-Chocolate Do We Part

Jayme said...

Bridesmaid: At least now you'll have something to put on CakeWrecks. Right?

[The bridesmaid's word are met by stony silence]

Feisty Irish Wench said...

Bride: "ugh. This cake is NOTHING like I asked the bakery for!"
Mom: "Well sorry honey. How was I to know? I never have been able to keep track of all the stuff you like. It always changes you know."
Bride: "Mom what's the name of the guy I'm about to marry? The guy I've been with the last 3 years of our lives?"
Mom: "um..Steve? oh wait no! Bad! um, Richard!"

Fluffy Cow said...

"I guess this means Duff is off his meds again"

Nee S. said...

Bride: "If I told them once, I told them a thousand times: first bake, *then* frost!"

Anonymous said...

As I can not ignore the brides' icon on this site...

"Who put water on my cake? It's melting! Meeeelting!"

Anonymous said...

That really seems to be a let down from my standerns.....they toldly blew off the cake. They made a dounut(without the hole)cake inplace of a tower-like cake...i wouldn't be surprized if they found out it's a ccc cake in descise..oh, sorry for any misspellings..i haven't gotten anything to eat yet! :-)

Jen said...

Judy - my asterisk comment was constructive criticism. I didn't yell or say it rudely. Don't be so defensive! I was letting Jen know. Maybe others feel the same; maybe not.

toastygod said...


Mira8 said...

This is why they say a picture is worth a thousand words: there is no caption funnier than just this picture alone. In my opinion anyway.

And big props to Cake Wrecks for being an international phenomenon! Everyone join hands and sing:

We are the world
We are the Cake Wrecks
We are the ones who bring you baby mohawk carrot jockeys!

Underneat that
I want sprinkles too
It's happy Falker Satherhood for you and me!

roni said...

I would fill in the thought bubble with "Now I see why she called me in the middle of doing my hair. "

Jenna said...

Oh. My.

Buttercream with ganache and rose petals to fondant, fondant flowers, and congealed hot fudge - with an addition of MIRRORED LEAVES!!!

You know, I was wondering if the sale clerk sold this, perhaps not understanding how to properly make a cake, and not understanding the expertise needed was not on the premises.

They made so MANY errors, though.

-Buttercream changed to fondant.
-rose petals became fondant roses
-straight tiers became rounded tiers.
-delicate ganache drips on each tier became lumpy drips on only one tier.
-absence of mirrored leaves became LOTS of mirrored leaves
-substantial tier size change became gradual size difference
-no flowers on the top became a mud slick on the top

In light of so many changes on their part, the bride would be ok to make just one - the price.

Then again, at my wedding, I requested the following:

buttercream, made with real butter. No flowers, all nice and plain. We'll be bringing real flowers to top it with. Just make it neat, with simple, plain borders. Enough to feed 70 people.

I got fondant. Coated with gumpaste flowers. and margarine buttercream. Did I mention that I hate fondant? Or that most of the guests ate the cake part and left fondant and icing blobs on their plates?

of course this was just one of the MANY problems on my wedding day, but it's one that I remember most.

I think Ruby Slippers needs to post the bakery name, personally.

And next time I get married, I'm making the damn cake!!

WV: beconni - the bride is beconni(ng) to the real cake!

Pathologically Pensive said...


"This is not a good sign is it?
well at least he's good in bed."

I love the perfect expressions on all their faces!

Anonymous said...

" Oh no they di'n't!"

Anonymous said...

Oh my God... I am sitting here laughing so hard that I'm crying....between the cake, the expressions and the comments this is too much

Anonymous said...

I hope the honeymoon isn't this disappointing.

Anonymous said...

"The bride and groom looked like death warmed over...Well, they were walking in ankle deep S#@T!"

Anonymous said...

To verizonbeans -
I beg to differ with you and agree with Judy. The polite way to make your request is not:

Again, I beg you to stop putting asterisks in the copy then making us scroll all the way to the bottom of the post, then all the way back up. I hate that!

The polite way is to say:
Again, would you please not put asterisks in the copy? It can be difficult to locate them when reading.

Think about it. If some tells you "I hate that!" to something you did, would you not feel hurt or offended? Why should Jen change her site just because you have an issue with it? Yes it can be annoying at times, but only when the posts are big. Personally, I'd rather have the large amount of content and have to scroll for the comment. Keep a healthy perspective. Focus on the VERY MANY GOOD THINGS about this site. Take a deep cleansing breath, and then keep your anger to yourself.


Anonymous said...

As footnote to all commentators regarding the use of "constructive criticism":

Just stating that something doesn't work or isn't to your preference is not good enough on its own. If you want to be constructive, state why there is a problem and then OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE approach to fix it. If you can't come up with something better, what makes you think that complaining about it is going to change things? Again, put yourself in the receiver's position and ask how you would feel to get that comment.

Jen is doing an AMAZING job with this site as demonstrated by her recent awards and dedicated following of readers. Let's help her, not hurt her.


Anonymous said...

Being a cake decorator, her comments about the cake in her blog really irritate me. she is the reason many decorators think they can get away with stuff like that,. By not caring about something like your wedding cake, why not just get one at walmart or shaws. If you don't care about it at all then the cake decorator will be able to tell and they wont want to bother putting in so much time and effort for something you are not going to appreciate. It's really depressing to learn about how so much goes unappreciated.

FreedomFirst said...

She must be a really good sport.

E.A.D. said...

Miscommunication + apathy brought on by WAY too much anxiety in planning the wedding + a baker who clearly didn't think to double-check and ask, "OK, you're 100% CERTAIN about this?" = ginormous letdown.

caption: *crickets*


"This is the last time I take advice from Aunt Mae."

Wolfwings2 said...

Is it POSSIBLE? Is she thinking "omg! It's amazing!" lmao That incredulous look could be a GOOD thing.

Anonymous said...

Bride: I could have done THIS myself!

Jennifer said...

Bride: "Get a rope."

Jo said...

I just want to know who was cruel enough to take the picture!

Amelia said...

No offense to Ruby Slippers. No matter the price she paid, she should have gotten what she asked for. However, let this be a lesson to all others from here on.

A true Wedding Cake decorator understands the time and skill it takes to make a wedding cake. A true Wedding cake decorator with enough decorating experience would know that charging such a small amount of money would put them out of business. Beware of anyone charging so little. They either don't know what's involved in such a project or they know they're not very good. Neither of which is what you would want in a wedding cake decorator.

As far as the captions go, I like the Dunkin Donuts comment. :)

Annette G. said...

The caption should read, "Gee...I hope the marriage doesn't end up like the wedding cake!"

Hibryd said...

Aw, crap, I am so sorry it didn't work out for you. The dripping ganache was exactly what we wanted for our cake, and our local bakery pulled it off beautifully.

Here's a photo, complete with the Bridezilla and Groomera cake toppers I made:

Freya said...

that's TERRIBLE!! omg, i can't believe that a baker could actually mess a cake up that much. I mean, did he even look at the photo? and yes, i have to agree, it is dumpy, droopy crinkly... that is a truly awful wreck. I hope you guys had a good wedding and a happy marriage anyway, and please tell me my wedding cake will turn out better :o

Ediot said...

"OK, so you totally stare at this thing for like, a whole minute or something? And then you close your eyes and you like see Abe Lincoln. Swear to god!"

Ediot said...

Voice from off camera: "It rubs the icing on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

Ann said...

"Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Oh, that's funny. Now bring me my axe and I'll be on a little errand to the bakery."

Sr. Mina, BSP said...


I can imagine her asking this in disbelief, maybe even in self-denial, because its hard to pay so much for a cake only to realise that's how it turned out.

I believe bakeries SHOULD refuse a design if they can't do it. Its better business. Nobody should feel like a guinea pig that has to get a refund because the cake was an experiment that went horribly wrong. The bride's expression is very priceless.

Cheryl said...

Bride thinking.....There is not a jury in the world that would convict me!!!!

Cheryl :-)

Sunny said...

OMFG...that's terrible. I hope they didn't actually end up usin' that.

The caption: "Oh, God, this had better not be an omen."

Yah, not that funny, but oh well.


Anonymous said...

All I have a caption for is the toppers.
Groom: "What is this crap we're standing on?"
Bride: *squeezes hand* "Would you PLEASE quit drawing attention to it?"

B.A. said...


"What the frigg man?! What.... what is... I mean... what the FRIGG?!"

Anonymous said...

"maybe it shrunk in the wash?"

Cami said...

I know this is very delayed, but I'm just now going through the older posts.

Two options for the mothers thought bubble.

"Well, you baker WAS male. Maybe to him that IS 36 inches."

"I'm sorry dear, but you'd better get used to things not being as big as he said."

Anonymous said...

Bride: OH MY GOSH how did you 2 get in my house?!?

Anonymous said...

Even Vincent and Emily(the cake toppers)look as though they are dissappointed with having to stand atop that cake. I'm re-thinking having a wedding cake at all.

Anonymous said...

ok i got one.. here it goes-
"i think he delivered the wrong cake. i dont care if he didn't, but that makes me look better when i have to tell the kids the story when they see those pictures."

Anonymous said...

It looks like someone died over that first cake. Someone who had chocolate blood. EEEEWWW!!

Admiral Ferret said...

Awwh man... it was such an awesome cake too!!!

But! With the downfall of such a great idea, comes a great reaction shot ^ - ^'

Anonymous said...

That cake looks downright terrible! And why the heck would you put a dead bride & groom on top of it?! To make it look worse? Wow....

Citrine Griffin said...

LOL! Can't decide between two of 'em.
"Mom, you didn't ask Dad to order it, did you?" and,
"I thought I ordered a cake not a two-layer, oddly-iced donut."

Anonymous said...

My sister's made made my wedding cake and even with no cake making or cake decorating experience, they made it look good.
- Karen

Anonymous said...

Honey, look at this mess! I told you, if you MUST take laxitives to maintain your figure, wait til AFTER the wedding!!!"

Anonymous said...

bwahahahaha. I'm assuming the lady to the right of the bride is the mother of the bride? Her face is awesome!! You can just see it. "oh, are you sh**ing me?"

Anonymous said...

I hope non of these people actually Pay for the cakes!

Anonymous said...

The cake topper alone is enough to make me scream _YIKES!_

Citrine Griffin said...

"mom, PLEASE tell me you didn't get this thing from the dumpster out back."
or: "what. is. THIS?????" *Plays what is this video with purple-be-to-girly from jen in backround*

northhoney said...

My best friend loved the original and she made that her wedding cake... It turned out right.

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