Friday, May 22, 2009

Coulrophobia Cakes

Friday, May 22, 2009

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Plenty of adults have it these days, and this vintage photo from Jessica E. may explain why:

Ah, yes: the great clown massacre of '77.

Rachel W. and I agree that the baker responsible for splitting this cake must be a sufferer:

See, now he's only got one hand to strangle you with - much better.

Plus, Melanie K. learned that bakeries today are still carrying on the proud tradition of traumatizing the kiddies:

"Come closer, little children. Binky wants to play..."

While Lulu C. discovered the ghosts of clowns past:

Or are those zombie clowns? Hmm. Better eat their brains before they eat yours, Lulu.

Of course Kyle D. is correct: no one put Coulrophobia on the map like Stephen King. Remember that freaky looking clown from It?

Because apparently this baker does.


Here he is again, only this time the resemblance is intentional:


Still, I'm disturbed. Look, I know I'm a wimp when it comes to horror flicks, but the fact that freakin' ten-year-olds are watching It is making me look unusually spineless-blob-of-jelly-like, ok? It's like the first time I got on a loopy roller coaster at age 20: There I was, about to soil myself with fear, while a stinkin' toddler (ok, so maybe he was a tall toddler) sat next to me giggling himself silly. Lucky for him I couldn't pry my white-knuckled hands from the lap bar, is all I can say.

Also, how bad does your name have to be that you abbreviate it on your own birthday cake? Sephiroth? Scooter? Sheldon? Scooby? (Yes, my knowledge of silly "s" names is limited to cartoons and video games.) Guys - your nominations?

Rachie Hawkins said...

"See, now he's only got one hand to strangle you with - much better"

And also no feet, so now he can't run after you...I really do hate clowns

deckardcanine said...

I never understood coulrophobia until I saw "Poltergeist." Even that was only a partial explanation.

I think the S stands for "Stirling."

WV: nockshou -- These clowns are giving off nockshous vibes.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

The first one looks like a bunch of stoner clowns to me.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Emiliy said...

maybe the baker's name is S. Hunt and he/she was autographing the cake?

Anonymous said...

Slartibartfast

Leslie said...

Hey I recognize the clowns on the first cake. We learned to make those in the first Wilton class. My 14 year old daughter is terrified of clowns (I'll have to tell her what the technical term is) so she asked the instructor if she could just make more roses instead of the clowns. You could hardly see her cake for all the roses...talk about determination.
Anyway, regarding these cakes on the whole I think Bart Simpson said it best: "Can't sleep...clowns will eat me."

blueiguana42 said...

Shibboleth
(First Post! Whoo!)
(And MY first post! Double Whoo!)

melly said...

why? omg WHY?!

Jessie said...

The ice cream cone clowns look like zombie H.R. Pufnstufs

Anonymous said...

Maybe his name is Slartibartfast Hunt. I mean, you never know. Hi parents might be HUGE Douglas Adams fans.

Passion Fruit said...

Oh goodness!
WHY?
I hate clowns and *shudders* spiders. IT had both!

And then there was Paddywack from some animated Batman series. Ogod.

That first one is some dark humour though! A little amusing.

Haiku Joy said...

What does the world need?
Edible comedians
with mossy goatees.

Tigerwolf said...

I’ve never had cooloophobia…er, I mean colonphobia…um, I mean clownophobia* before.

Now I do!

(*Wakko Warner called it “clownophobia,” and that’s good enough for me!)

^..^

WV: phramm. "Phramm that clown cake in the rubbish bin, FAST!"

Judy C said...

I just don't think clowns are funny except on messed up cakes.

drgns4vr said...

I don't know which of those clowns is the most disturbing, but keep them away from me!

wv cortyl+that funny laughing sound. Jen's comments alway make me cortyle breakfast.

Dorci said...

I bet the S. on the last cake stands for "So Hunt.." and then they ran out of room for "you down and kill you!!!" Hee hee.

Happy friday ladies and gentlemen..mwahahaha!!!

Roses said...

"We all float down here, Georgie."
~IT

Perhaps they float in milk?

trish_punch said...

Somehow putting Pennywise on a little kids cake seems so...wrong, even for someone with a weird sense of humor.

My hubby and his brother both dislike clowns. I have new ideas for future cakes... :))

Tammy said...

I've never scrolled so quickly to get through a post. I don't even think I read everything.

Judy said...

The first one does look like blood spatter but the second one really looks like two guys with names like Vinnie and Guido caught up to him after reneging on a little bet on the ponies and he's been left in the gutter to beg for help with his one free hand from passers by.

Oh the inhumanity!

I can picture the clown sitting in Don Corleon's office only days before..... "What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."

Suzanne Dargie said...

Yeah, that Clown Massacre of '77 is great!
I hate clowns too, and I can't watch modern horror films. Start with the classics like Vincent Price films and work your way up to Hammer Horrors. They're better than anything made these days!

Yakira said...

No wonder people are afraid of clowns. O.O

jengersnap said...

C'mon Jen, you didn't expect the baker to spell out Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious on the cake now did ya? ;)

I'm sure the kid even abbriviated his own name. "I'm Super, thanks for asking!"

Jenn said...

Samsonite... I was way off!

Megan said...

Those are the cakes that nightmares are made of.
Especially that first one--my grandmother had a little bowl of those clown heads in her cupboard for 30 years. You would think you were grabbing a bowl for ice cream only to find all these balding heads on sticks staring up at you. Scared me every time (and no, I never saw the used on a cake, they must have been for "just in case").

Bobbi said...

I hate clowns...now I know why!

Amy C said...

S is for Satan?
The last cake is just...Eugh. IT!!
Clowns are scary to begin with...

ROYALTY said...

Hahahaha the Clown massacre cake is hilarious, in a Quinten Tarrantino sort of way. As for the S name, seeing as how he has some upstanding parents that let him not only watch IT at the age of 10, but they spring for Pennywise to be put on his birthday cake, I'd vote for something like Scanlon.... which means Little Scandalous One

Meow!
http://kitty-cakes.blogspot.com/

Amy said...

S is for Satan?
The last cake is just...Eugh. IT!!
Clowns are scary to begin with...

Christa said...

Shaquana? I went to school with 2 Shaquana's.

I'm sorry but I couldn't really look at the pictures long enough to analyze them, they creeped me out way to much.

WV:smorshly. ..that's a good S name

Christy said...

I've just decided that for my birthday cake this year I've GOT to get the clown college drive by that is the top picture. I can remember my birthday cakes as a child (70's) looking very similar to this and I SO need to relive that!!

Ethan B said...

I've been a huge fan of Cake Wrecks for quite some time, and I just so happen to work for a wedding cake obsessed TV company, so between your blog and my daily grind, my life is filled with fondant and ganache.

However, your Sephiroth reference has officially put your blog as my start page. Cakes AND Final Fantasy?! This boy's in heaven. You rock.

Anonymous said...

Silliest "S" name ever, as seen on Maury Povich: Sha'dymond

Jenn said...

Sassacus? Sandbury? Saladin?

Jen said...

Perhaps it is the 10th birthday of his/her "shunt"?

madrobins said...

1) The Clown in It was, I think, based on the classic Bozo the Clown model. Still terrifying. Especially if you were on his TV show and he turned his baleful good cheer to shine upon you.

2) Are you sure the last kid's name wasn't Shunt? From a medical family, right?

Heather said...

Oh gods. I'm one of the coulrophobia crowd, too. UGH. The only good thing about clown cakes is that it's legal to squash them with a hammer, whereas I have been informed that squashing real clowns is not. Either they are deliberately trying to traumatize that poor, long named 10-year-old, or he or she is already a warped little cuss. Brr!!

Joanna said...

Sherman, Siobhan, Shitake?

heisenfeature said...

The top cake clearly came out of a Wilton I decorating class -- they're still teaching you to make clowns the same way in 2009 -- I just took a class in February. (But I ran with the horror -- did it in garish colors, and put the joker's head on one of the clowns). Pic here. Three of the clowns fell over on the drive home.

Anonymous said...

Syphillis.

Jenamarie said...

That last cake is totally creeping me out! I don't fear clowns, but they do creep me out, and "IT" is at the top of the scale for "creep-out factor".

And what kind of crazy parents would let their 10 year old watch "IT"??

D Dennis said...

Clowns. *shudder* Why'd it have to be clowns? And how mean does that kid's parents have to be to put an evil clown on a BIRTHDAY cake? Thanks mom and dad. Forget all the (hopefully) awesome presents he got. That terrifying face will be the only thing he remembers. Oh, and let's not forget he won't be able to sit at a table without looking under it, like, a MILLION times. Can you say therapy?

D Dennis said...

Errmmm, make that looking in a storm drain, not under a table. Great. Now my own mind is playing clown tricks on me!

Anonymous said...

All I see in the first two are bloody stumps. Creepy.

I didn't think I had a fear of clowns. I may need to rethink that thought.

Becky

wv: distrolf. These clown cakes leave me in distrolf.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was Sh!+head (pronounced sha-theed) and the baker was too embarrassed to spell it (or thought it was a joke).

Sarah said...

I've suffered from coulrophobia since watching "the Brave Little Toaster" as a wee one. The freakin' clown fireman in the bathtub, man, that was the worst. He haunted my dreams, too, after that.

*Shuddddder*

LaurenH said...

If your name is Sephiroth then you should never abbreviate it EVER! Unless...you know, you're kind of a pansy and then you don't really live up to the name ;)

'It' still creeps the hell out of me at 28 (though maybe that's partially BECAUSE I was about 10 years old when I first saw it) ...which was only because my older brother kept telling me I'd like it. Hmm, maybe that cake is from an older brother trying to terrorize his younger sibling...

Christina Alligator said...

Jen and madrobins are absolutely right - the poor kid's name is Shunt. Please tag this under Creative Grammar for the extraneous punctuation.

bigSIS said...

my niece is terrified of clowns. when we recently went to the circus, the clowns were working the line as we waited to be admitted and she just about cried when he stopped to talk to my boys. I had to shield her. LOL I gotta show her this post. It will make her day!

Tim said...

Echoing the Final Fantasy satisfaction!

Stacie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. Clown massacre, melting, stealing my soul, Oh My!

Anonymous said...

It's like a clown autopsy on most! UHG! And the "IT" clown is creeping me out to no ends. Blech!

@AlexisCeule

Jessica said...

Hehe Zombie Clowns, I love zombies... I'll have my brains ala mode. LOL

Galadriel said...

Sauron!

Or maybe the name was just Shunt and the decorator was confused.

WV: Eystings. Yes, indeed.

Frigglesnitz said...

Shanehneh? Secgwick? Siobhan? All hard to spell...which makes one wonder why a parent would do that to a child. I mean, isn't learning to spell your name hard enough in pre-k?

wv ariolisd - Like those planes with the banners at the shore. "Let's go to that bar I saw ariolisd at the beach. 2 for 1 Happy Hour! Whoo!"

Trinian said...

No balloons on Semirhage Hunt's cake?! Somebody certainly missed the boat there.

Elizabeth Douglas said...

Final Fantasy!?! First "To the Pain," then Sephiroth?!?! How does so much epicness exist in one blog?!?!

jetbaby said...

My 'S' name nominations: Sasquatch, Scabbers, Solicitine, Susquehanna

Also: what the hell, Pennywise? Who's to blame here? The baker? The parents? Yuck.

Kristen said...

You know those haunted houses that pop up every year at Halloween to charge big bucks and scare you into wetting your pants? (What do you mean that last part was just me?) The big one in our area got even more popular a couple of years back when they added a clown room...

So, Sarpedon, Secundinus, Seweryn, Snorri, or my personal favorite, Sacheverell?

WV: curese--Okay, now I'm curese.

Anonymous said...

two things: when I came across the word bakeries, I read bacterias, and also I watched It when I was about 10. Terrible!
-jenn

Amy said...

This is why I hate clowns.
They freak me out. Yuck.
I never have thought they were "funny", even as a kid. Now, I just avoid them.

~Amy B

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

I think this is hands down the creepiest post. I really get bothered by the clown head cake with the X eyes.

Nihilady said...

I have a S. (Last Name) for a client (male) - the S stands for Shirley.

Raychel said...

$5.88 for traumatizing the kiddos!

Hahha

Raychel www.MyCreativeWay.blogspot.com

bella1021 said...

heeebeeegeeebeeess!!! yucko!

Chantal said...

I'm having a good laugh just reading all the comments. I remember a french stand up comedien telling a joke with gesture about clowns. I can't help myself just laughing when I think of it.

Starbreaker said...

Sephiroth... and cake? I loves it.

I love that me (a girl) and 2 other guys are the only ones who made reference to the video games.

I knew you were awesome for a good reason

Anonymous said...

hilarity. all i can say is hilarity...

Jasry said...

Nasty clownses, we hates them! (I'm too scared to come up with a better comment or a WV for "perst". Somebody else do it for me while I go hide under the covers, please.)

Shellgirl said...

I'm SOOO scared of clowns! That first cake is just uber-creepy!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm....

Sadam?

-Marisa

The IBEX Scribe said...

Sephiroth gets you big points with me! You have to admit that "One-Winged Angel" is an awesome villain theme. If you can fit in a reference somewhere to Raogrimm, you'll really be my hero!

Oh, and clowns really are creepy.

Ronnie said...

S'jonte (pronounced Sa-ZHON-tay) is quite a doozie, if you ask me.

^_^ just got another wrecks reader in the office by showing her this post!

. . . clowns have rabies. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

My vote is for Shunt with a misplaced period, which makes it a true wreck!

LovelyAnomaly said...

Sebastian?

Jane said...

OMG--I totally HATE clowns! Your post today really hit home. I read the book "It" by Stephen King and when the movie came out I was afraid to even watch it. But I made myself do it and I was sorry. That creepy clown still haunts me to this day...

(And by the way, in high school I dated a guy named Scooter)

Kelly said...

AH! Clowns freak me out! Especially dead looking frosting clowns.

I'm with Tammy, I could hardly look at these.

dryxi said...

ff7 represent!

cottoncolors said...

Bozo always scared me. And there is a huge plastic Ronald McDonald that sits in the window at the entrance to Wally World and I swear he is staring at me every time I walk through the doors.

Anonymous said...

I don't consider myself to suffer from coulrophobia, but man, that clown head-in-a-plastic-jar really skeeves me out. Just.Wrong.

Jane said...

@jengersnap:
After reading that last line of your post, (I'm sure the kid even abbriviated his own name. "I'm Super, thanks for asking!") I keep hearing "Don't you think I look good in this hat?" in my head.

And Christy mentioned the "clown college drive by", which brought back a (probably necessarily repressed) memory of a guy I dated when I was 21....he was 30 and he was so proud of the fact that he had graduated from Barnum & Bailey Clown College. That relationship didn't last long. ::eyeroll::

John and Sarah Sperry said...

My three-year-old must have the beginnings of this. When looking at this post today we were going past the 5th cake and she said "No me like that one, it's cweepy." My thoughts exactly.

CALpumper said...

Not one post has made me shudder.
Until today.
O.
M.
G.

WHY? Why "It"?? The third one reminded me of that dang movie. Then you of course had to add the others....:::shudder::: Heebee Jeebies!!! Ick.

wv: bledubl -- This post caused bledubl happenings.
:::shudder:::

Anonymous said...

I suspect the Pennywise photo was downloaded from the internet innocently by a decorator who needed a clown picture for the cake.

Debbi said...

Is that the new "thing" now in cake decorating? Putting wonky squiggles around the edge and throwing a few sprinkles over it? I see that everywhere! Make it stop!

*shudder*

sendingtheclowns said...

I 've never found clowns scary in the least--I just think that most of them are hideously, unnecessarily ugly. Bozo? Stupid AND ugly. Ronald MacDonald? GROSS! And very unlikeable, as well. A cute clown is fine. Anyone ever seen one? Well, I have--ME! A friend made me a clown suit for my birthday a couple of years ago ...and yes, I asked for it. The only thing that I don't like about it is that I'd SAID that I wanted one in PISTACHIO green. Not an impossible thing to imagine, when the woman (an excellent seamstress) hand-made the thing herself, and the fabrics stores have everything imaginable. It is a bright lime green, however... sad face. I really think that she didn't know what "pistachio" is, and didn't want to ask. But it's charming...has tiny flowers all over it...very girly. Blah blah blah.

ANYhoo, those frosting clowns look utterly stoned, so I don't think they give a crapfetti about how repulsively bloody and drippy they look. The ones with the ice cream cone hats I pity, for they look just like my mother-in-law. Except the MIL never smiles. And, *lucky* for me (DRIPPING sarcasm here), she hasn't been decapitated. *sigh*

whalegeek said...

Is it just me, or does the clown on the last cake look like Pennywise from It, and since it's underneath the plastic window it completes the look!!

Daffodil Soup said...

His nickname was Essie, Ess for short

Alexia said...

My dad let me watch IT as a kid(and the Exorcist too!!!) and I HATE clowns.

Then my grandpa had a huge clown (that looked just like the clown from IT) that he placed next to my bed at his house. ("Look Sweety! Do you like it??") urg.

Needless to say he ALWAYS had to sit with me until I fell asleep. lol

poor kid....

Anonymous said...

'What kind of scarey-assed clowns came to your birthday?' -Chandler to Joey..."Friends" The one where they lose Ben on the bus.

Lizzi K. said...

I read my first Stephen King book when I was 10...but I don't think I saw the movie IT until I was 11 or 12.

Anonymous said...

I think the kid's name is Shoggoth.

Jamie B. said...

*lol* We call one of my managers at work Scooter.

ros said...

Stalin?

Jules said...

Coulrophobic checking in here. I blame the paintings my folks had in my room as a kid - those bum clowns/tramps? Remember those? Nasty thing to put in a little kids bedroom.


WV: "pirast". Someone please call a pirast to get rid of all these clowns on CW today.

Susan said...

Wow, that first one - good job by the assassin, using multi-colored shotgun pellets so passersby would think they were sprinkles!

WV: reckble - they sure are!

Asgeir said...

Maybe his name really is S dot.

Jeremy said...

Shub-Niggurath, black goat of the woods?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shub-Niggurath

Gotta love Lovecraft. What a freak. And kudos for the FF reference. Every cake needs long white hair and a freakin' sword the length of a basketball player. Vertical length...in case anyone was confused.

Meli said...

Sephiroth watched IT when he was a kid, and then had that cake for his 10th birthday? No wonder he snapped!

sailordada_99 said...

I think the S. is short for Skylark. The Leviathan people are defenseless against clowns too. Turns out they transform under the spotlight of a big top.

sixela said...

Who are these people buying clown cakes?

I mean, seriously, does anyone actually like clowns? And I don't mean that you just don't care one way or the other. Is anyone willing to stand up and say: "Clowns are majestic!" or "Clown themed birthday parties are all the rage."

And, unfortunately, I think mitosis is the only explanation for those decapitated clown head picks. Only one was manufactured in 1971... now look what's happened. When will we learn. (*shaking head slowly*)

Jenny said...

We once accidentally picked up the wrong cake from a bakery, it was meant to say "Happy Birthday Laura" but we got one saying "P 50 !".

We took it back to swap it for our one and it was meant for a guy called Peter who was turning 50.

It's not like the bakery charged by the letter, and if they could fit our message on, they could certainly fit his name on! I think it's a male thing to abbreviate your name for no apparent reason.

I wish I had a photo to show you.

Dea della Luna said...

Not an S name, but I actually know a kid named Tiberius.
It's no big surprised that he goes by "Ty" and refused to tell people his real name for years...until someone saw it on the attendance sheet. ^_^

LiteralDan said...

I'm positive that the notion that any kid likes clowns is one of the world's oldest myths.

PetalsYoga said...

My favorite post so far!!! The clown massacre cake is just plain wrong!

Thanks for the usual coffee spew-fest.

Anonymous said...

Did you not go to camp?

Snipe Hunt!

jackie31337 said...

Does anybody else remember the clown cones they used to have at Baskin Robins? They were cute and actually kind of tasty with a ball of ice cream for the head. A big blob of buttercream on top of a cupcake, on the other hand.... I think I'll pass.

WV: nomsel - a morsel of nom

The Other Ashley said...

LOL @ Jenn for the 'Dumb and Dumber' quote. I'll be looking for Samsonite refereces for the rest of the day.

Marvinator said...

I think it's obvious. It's a BOY's Cake and his name is SUE.

Am I the only one creeped out by Lefty Clowns GOOD hand? why is he fondling himself on a cake? And while we're at it, one begins to wonder what was on the half cake cut off.....another clown doing...ok ok, I just grossed myself out.

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

Without a doubt some of the scariest cakes I've ever seen. . .

Abby said...

Wow. Just as I began looking through this post Sufjan's "John Wayne Gacy Jr." started playing on the radio. Creepy timing.

Anonymous said...

Sheldon?

Anonymous said...

Sephiroth!! LOVE IT!

Glory von Hathor said...

*shivers*

brrr.

Sunday Sweets better be pretty damn memorable this weekend if they're going to blot out the mental image of these guys.

Hungarican Chick said...

The great clown massacre of '77 is a good start. Now keep it up!

Clowns give me the major heebie-jeebs. I can't look at one without immediately thinking of them as slimy child-molesters. I can't help it. They just are gross.

Judy said...

My Gosh! The first time I ever heard people were afraid of clowns I remember thinking "You're afraid of WHAT???? That's like being afraid of a big fuzzy team mascot. And then I found out there are people who are afraid of those too (*eyeroll*)

For petes sake people there are people in the world who have REAL things to be afraid of and you're sitting in America in your big comfy lazyboy sucking on a slurpee scarfing down nachos and shaking at the sight of....A CLOWN?????

Anonymous said...

I don't care what the "s" stands for, at least that kids name isn't Mike :)

~ L. K. said...

I think the comment for the third cake scares me the most.

I'm curious why you need your last name on a cake. When I want a birthday cake, I don't ask for my full name. I think the pure fact that they needed to emphasize the kid's name is weird enough. Maybe the baker couldn't figure out how to spell the name?

I actually fell asleep to It. I usually get bored with most of horror movies and leave before anything exciting happened. (I was the kid who watched Jurassic Park when she was 5, when it came out. I was NEVER afraid of the dinosaurs coming to eat me. I thought they were cute. I was afraid of people--afraid of the evils of humanity.)

Lindsey said...

Oooh, I can't wait IT either! My parents were crazy and allowed me to watch it at a very young age and I don't think that I have ever recovered.

Callisto said...

Sephiroth reference for the freaking win!

For the record, I am actually more afraid of Sephiroth than I am of clowns, and clowns freak me out. I don't know what it is, I have an irrational fear of Sephiroth. There should be a fancy Latin phobia for that, too. I feel left out.

sendingtheclowns said...

My Dad's name was Sheldon!
My brother is Sheldon (Junior)--a name he's never been all that fond of. What GUY wants to be nicknamed "Shelly"?"
My Dad ran with the "dead end" kids when he was young, and they all just called each other by their last names.

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Thanks a bunch. :O

Jen W said...

I was a clown, for a time... and those clowns even scare the heck out of me!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

My stepmom loves clowns, and does clowning herself. She got my dad into it; she actually commissioned a painting of her and my dad in costume (it's a cute picture and hangs over their mantel). She posted some pictures of them in full rig at a party on her website (now defunct). A veteran clown constructively critiqued her pics and said that my dad needed to change his makeup, since blue around a clown's eyes frightens children.

That's what I thought of when I saw the decapitated clown head under plastic with the blue X's for eyes. A DEAD CLOWN oh holy cats.

Clowns also have the unfortunate effect of reminding me of John Wayne Gacy. Scary.

MalMal said...

Good thing S's name wasn't Collin or something...

let it sink in.

wv: torfoca. I got nothin, but it sure sounds funny!

dessertschick said...

Scheherazade?
Hunter S. Thompson? (Dyslexic wreckorator with ADD who saw "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" one time too many?)

Ick, clowns. Hubby was so pleased with himself years ago when he found a bumper sticker for me: "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me." Never knew it was a Simpsons reference 'til now. Thanks!

phpishy said...

I nominate Severus and Scorpius for bad names for kids.

Sarah said...

I just need to tell you that I totally could not look at this post. Those clowns are FREAKING ME OUT!!!

Hopefully, I can come back tomorrow.

Joanne said...

Oh why did it take so long for me to find your blog - this is great!!! I love cakes but I also love the comedy that is bad cake decoration!!!

Anonymous said...

That last one literally made my jaw drop. I have to assume that the parents didn't know what was happening in the scene pictured??

battlekow said...

Could be the cake of the Twins' supplemental first-round draft pick last year.

Kirsty said...

How is the sponge on that second cake so white? That is not a sponge colour.

wordsmith101 said...

Doot-doot-doodle-oodle-doot-doot-doo-doo ...*shudder*

I'm not afraid of clowns (most of the time - depends on the clown), but these cakes are HORRIFYING. Like they said on LJ's Mock_The_Stupid comm about the cut-in-half clown: "The sad thing is, if they'd rotated the knife about half an inch to the right, they'd have been just fine."

Word Verification: diumbas. Yes, the people who decorated these things were diumbasses.

Em said...

I "like" the cupcakes around the ghost clowns. See? The ones encased in sugar and topped with...bubblegum?

Anonymous said...

I think that S. Hunt is just way ahead of his time, in 8 or 9 years he's gonna be the raddest stoner in college.

And as for the clown cakes, we have several clownaphobes at work, I was a clown for Halloween last year, my favorite co-worker was one the year before. I think this year I am going to go a little more subtle with the clown massacre cake. That should hit the spot. Hehehe...

Becky B said...

I hate clowns. When the Wilton class (#1) instructor said we'd have to buy the clown heads (as demonstrated in pic 1-3), I wanted to vomit. Then I couldn't GIVE them away. Why? Because they suck.

Dea said...

I love that you used Sephiroth! LMAO!!!

And um - can't talk, clowns will find me! UGH, I hate clowns - there's nothing funny about a clown. >:(

Tatersmama said...

I'm just glad first initial on that last cake wasn't "C".
That's all I'm sayin'.

Holly F. said...

My father-in-law let my son watch It when he was four. Four years of nightmares later, my son is still not allowed to spend the night there without me giving my father-in-law a serious warning about what my son can and can't watch.

Bree said...

The ice cream cone clowns reminds me of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Boy, that was a freaky movie.

Speaking of freaky, ten years back during a 4th of July parade, a bunch of clowns walked by, and of course one had to come over and sit on my lap. They're supposed to be for the kiddos, not chatting up and squatting on twenty year-old girls. I wonder if most men become clowns so they can try and score and still come off as "innocent." I got news for them: it doesn't work. It just makes them more creepy and desperate.

Lyn said...

Sephiroth! hehehehehe

I should play that game next.
And those cakes did look rather scary.

Melissa said...

Didn't read all the comments so this might have been said already:

In the 1/2 cake? What exactly is the clown doing with his "good" hand? It's just wrong on so many levels!

Stacy said...

My bosses name is "Shelter" like... a hurricane shelter. People always think its Shelden at first.

Anonymous said...

I've never gotten why people find clowns creepy. I went to several circuses when I was younger, and always enjoyed the clowns. Plus, I grew up in Chicagoland, home of Bozo. It'd be interesting to see someone with a fear of clowns see my vintage early-80s Bozo Buckets set.

Now mannequins, THEY creeped me out when I was little. So did Santa. Clowns, never.

Anonymous said...

Maybe his name is Shunt.

You never know, with those punctuatively creative decorators.

Flo said...

I had a grandfather named Strauther Van. All his cakes were to S.V.

Jodie said...

We had a student whose name was Shital. Another kid's first name was Sir. Seriously!

Hyena Overlord said...

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me. And WTF is that last thing?


wv...gater..um no that think in the sewer, it ain't.

thephantombloggerstrikes said...

I think the kid's first name is Scaredyet and his middle initial is ?
Since his parents couldn't change his last name they had to settle for traumatizing
him in many other ways.
I bet we'll be hearing about this kid in the future.
Scaredyet? will grow up to become a serial killer. But since his only victims are clowns he will become a hero to Coulrophobiacs everywhere.

#137

Donna said...

I used to date Severino, and his father was Severio.

Also, being a HUGE Harry Potter fan...I'd have to cast my vote for Severus.

Bunny said...

Sturgeonous. That's what the "s" stands for. I'm guessing he usually goes by "Stu."

Remember, everybody! Friends don't let friends drink and name their children.

robyn said...

Sylvester
Stanley
Salamanca
Sacheverell
Saddam
Snivelus
Schwanhild
Sharona
Sheldon
Shelob
Sybil
Sopheap
Stanko
Szczepan

Yuh. I think I'd abbreviate for any of those.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Hahaha! Thats some freaky clowns :D

Sphinctre?

Kara said...

Wait...IT all makes sense now...Sephiroth must have watched IT as a 10-year-old and that's what warped his poor tortured psyche! Darn you, Jenova. What kind of mother are you?!

But hey now...Final Fantasy cakes. There's something there's not enough of.

Anonymous said...

My blood went cold when I saw this post but I am NOT afraid of clowns I'm NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT!.....maybe I am.
Cristy

Anonymous said...

oh and sufferin succotash sylvester for the S names that i could think of with this post.
Cristy

Baylee said...

I am not a fan of clowns- actually I hate them!!! I took a Wilton decorating course where I was required to make one of those frosting bodied creepers, but refused to put that icky plastic head pic on. So what does good ol' teach do- sticks one on backwards!!! scarred for life by a confection clown!

Kaysha said...

His name might be Sosorrymyparentsareclueless.

Glory von Hathor said...

Apologies for link posting but this requires the graph.

http://graphjam.com/2008/04/06/funny-graphs-thermometer-of-scary/

Anonymous said...

I used to watch It when I was younger (like 5). It was one of my favorite movies (I don't remember why). I also used to love those clown ice cream cones! Every time we used to pass a Baskin Robins I would beg my mom for one.

stitchgroover said...

S is for Shaquiquiqui

jackie31337 said...

Upon further reflection, here is what I believe happened with the S. Hunt cake: S. Hunt was the name of the customer who ordered it. The cake was only supposed to say "Happy Birthday" but for some unknown reason the wreckerator decided to add the customer's name to the cake.

Christina L. said...

Really really really should have had a warning and space between title and pictures....Pregnant cakes. Babies on carrots cakes. Bad airbrushing. I'm cool with that. Murderous life sucking clowns whose only goal in life is to slowly kill you while they laugh? Not fun.
Just saying.
Love the blog.

George said...

Clearly the "s" stands for "Swine"

Hollowtear said...

Sephiroth?

i think i love you now. We need some awesome Final Fantasy cakes. Yes yes we do.

Miranda said...

Make it go away! I fear!

Miranda said...

Oh...Sauron! lol

Mella said...

Clowns are evil

Cat Connor said...

They really are disturbing cakes.

Dark Phoenix (Nixa) said...

... Damn...

I read IT before I saw the movie. I was maybe 13 at the time, and the book gave me the most horrible nightmares I'd ever had. Even at 18 I had trouble reading it without ending up that way.

FF7, on the other hand, I'd rather not go through, not because it was scary, but because it was terrible. Sorry, but people gushing over Sephiroth always makes me groan, since the series has had much more effective and awesome villains...

JORDAN! said...

The simple fact that you mentioned one of the most BA villains in FINAL FANTASY!!!, Sephiroth, I just love this site even more. I almost peed myself. It made up for the ridiculously creepy It cake.

FINALY FANTASY FOR THE WIN!!!

moonfall86 said...

I saw a cake very similar to the first one at Publix the other day. The clowns looked like they had been flattened by a semi truck. I was going to take a picture and send it, but there was a bakery employee watching. I didn't feel like explaining what I was going to do with the picture.

My roommate would like the Pennywise cake. She loves horror movies, and we constantly quote that one. Maybe I should stick with the less-disturbing Indiana Jones movies if I get her a movie-inspired cake.

bondfool said...

I love how it looks like blood from the stumps is dripping off the edge of the half cake.

stephanie said...

i had a cat named sephiroth. now i have yuffie. nerd references are not lost on me!

ladycrim said...

Just a photo credit note: I submitted the second cake in this post. I'm Julie B., not Rachel W.

And yes, in case anyone is wondering, this is exactly how the cake looked when it was sold! (I bought it just to take to my office and get a good picture to submit.)

HelenAngel said...

If his name is Sephiroth, he officially wins. I wanted to name my son Sephiroth and, to be honest, as he is a major video game player himself, he would be overjoyed if he had the name. -looks lovingly at her Sephiroth figurine on her desk-

::poltergasm:: said...

stanislaw

&

for those of us who remember

spiro.

but in that case the abbreviation would just be one sprung from embarrassment & that funny feeling shouldve came before the naming, not the baking.

TlalocW said...

I know what you mean about kids and horror movies. I'm a balloon twister, and I once had an 8-year-old ask me for a balloon chainsaw because his favorite movie was, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre." I made it for him while telling him, "I have two questions: the original or the re-make, and do I need to call child services?"

peachey said...

Every clown I met at parties and events, they were very nice. They provide a valued service that most of us couldn't even try to do much less succeed at it, so why the mean-spirited jabs at clowns being creepy and weird? I only see that type in the movies.

Anonymous said...

I think it might be Shirley, I mean, if it was a boy, maybe the decorator didn't want to embarrass him, so s/he decided to do him a favour.
Then again, maybe the decorator is a hater/phobic of Shirley Temple, or a different Shirley. I don't have any other ideas, Shirley was just the first thing to pop into my head.

ummpumpkinseed said...

"No balloons on Semirhage Hunt's cake?! Somebody certainly missed the boat there."

Oh, this is too full of IT jokes--I LOVE it! (Both the movie and jokes.)

hyugashame said...

You laugh about baby Sephiroth, but it's been done on more then one occasion...

http://www.photobasement.com/naming-your-child-this-is-child-abuse/

Rei 0 said...

My mom had those same clown heads.
I also got a less terrifying version of the Bozo the Clown shaped cake.
Now I'm tempted to go get the pictures of all my birthday cakes.

Aline said...

Well, I'd go with Sephiroth.

Or maybe his name is Sue, like that Johnny Cash's song.

Alima Bell said...

Wow...I love coulrophobia cakes. That cake looks amazing. i'm loving your blog! everything is so pretty and delicious looking. i look forward to reading. I've made this now two times. It is fabulous! My favorite restaurant makes and amazing coulrophobia cake and I've been trying for a year now to find a recipe that even comes close to it. This is the best I've found so far. It is so dreamy. I'm sure it'll be a big hit with the kids! thank you for posting and sharing it.

Katie said...

so, i love how the "IT" clown face cake has double eyebrows --there is eyebrows INSIDE his eyeballs and also above his eyes where eyebrows should go...

Laser Potato said...

The ice-cream cone ones are modeled after a well-known Friendly's dessert.

Gavin said...

Hey I too tried baking cup cakes and fairy cakes just after my exams got over. I go weak in the knees with a mention of muffins and cakes.

Lilie said...

Ok, that It cake is seriously freaky. I was forced to watch the movie as a child (horrible older brothers). That's just awful. "I know you want to have a fun time of your birthday, S. Hunt, and you will. Just remember what we told you about going near the sewers!"
Maybe the baker had two cakes exactly like that, and the kids were both named "Sam" or something. They had to be distinguished somehow, I guess.

lisa said...

I love the "payroll change" form next to the bleeding clown cake

Anonymous said...

I realized that clown looks like the MCdonalds clown! Congratulations MCdonalds! Your actually known for something now!

Anonymous said...

I vote for Sassifraz. Sassifraz Hunt had a nice ring to it.

StallionofFire

Anonymous said...

"one hand to strangle you with..."

Anyone notice the payroll charge form in the background?

lol.... they're taking THAT one out of her paycheck!

Chrissy S. said...

I absolutely hate clowns. They are completely terrifying. Also, Sephiroth is a wicked cool name. That would be a totally awesome name(in case you haven't noticed, I love final fantasy.) Further along those lines, I think Serendipity would count as bad.

Gracie said...

Oh! I've got a bad "S" name for you! My brother once had a girlfriend named "Sleeper".

Cupcakes Lady said...

Traumatizing, thats the word that sums it up. Scary stuff. x

amanda said...

I know you haven't had a comment on this one for a year, but I totally get how u feel about horror movies and roller coasters. I'm actually young myself, but I can't STAND horror movies, and my parents payed me 20 bucks to ride a loopy roller coaster ( that a 7 year old was riding) :D

Quin said...

I watched "it" at age six... I'm 15 now and I can't go within 10 feet of a clown.

Anonymous said...

Just don't let Booth on this page, right? (You know, from "Bones"?)

-Μαρία Βάγκνερ