Friday, April 24, 2009

That Personal Touch

Friday, April 24, 2009

When you start a new job it's always nice to feel welcomed. This lucky individual - who may or may not be named "Steve" - got a cake:

Supposedly that reads "Greetings Coworker," but it looks more like "Exploiker" to me. Regardless, it's nice to see a little Alien Robot lingo being used in the workplace. (Back in the day I was known to bleat out the occasional "EXTERMINATE!" when talking to the "parental units," but then a friend told me I was "too carbon-based" to pull off the 'bot vibe, so I stopped.)

If there's ever a time to celebrate your individuality, though, it's your birthday:

So remember, Chris's sister: You are unique. Just like the rest of Chris's siblings.

Of course, Chris's sister is older than Chris, so what do you suppose her first three birthday cakes read? "Happy Birthday, To-Be-Determined-Upon-the-Birth-of-Our-Next-Child?"


And for those picky people who want their actual names on a cake, bakeries are now offering some handy fill-in-the-blank form cakes:

Just pick out which awkwardly worded, misspelled message you would like, write in the name of your choice using the mismatched icing tube, and voila! One personalized, heartfelt Wreck!


Generic Wreckporter, Becky F., and Carmen, thanks for all wonderful Wrecks.
Trevor said...

I thought the first cake said "Spelunker" myself. Which didn't really make any better sense to me. I was totally cracking up at your commentary on the second cake though. OMG!

deckardcanine said...

Looks like they recycled a St. Patrick's Day cake, too. Reminds me of the "Dexter's Laboratory" episode in which Dexter stays with an Amish family whose female members apparently have no names.

WV: phybrent -- a wrecker's version of "vibrant."

Melissa said...

Oh my! That last cake is really wrecky! "Thanks for All Wonderfull Memories" Apparently, the memories weren't "wonderfull" enough to encourage the use of good grammar on the cake!

Doc said...

"EXTERMINATE!" ... "parental units" ...

You sure we didn't hang out with the same crowd in high school? ;-)

Mommy of M's said...

I remember going to dinner at my in laws house years ago for my Hubby's Bday. They had gotten a cake that said 'Happy Birthday Megan' (his younger sister), in pink with pink roses. It was nice. Then below that it said Happy Birthday Craig, in blue. It looked like a total after thought. I felt so bad for him.

He said it happened a lot.

XOXO said...

@Trevor -

That what *I* thought!

It's certainly...um...curly?

Anonymous said...

"Oma" is actually German for grandmother.

Pink said...

Omg...poor chris's sister. :( I think it is very sad to share a birthday cake, even for a twin....but these people aren't even the same age! And then they can't even remember her name! I hope the birthday present is some cash for the therapist.

Anonymous said...

As someone whose sibling insisted upon all friends addressing me as "[name removed to protect the guilty, though I'm not sure why]'s sister" rather than my actual name, I must sympathize with Chris's sister. Mine would totally have ordered that cake if our birthdays were anywhere near each other's...

gamingkitty said...

I've had shared birthday parties pretty much whenever one of my aunts is in town (two days later, and I would have been her "birthday present" :) ), but at least my family doesn't do afterthought cake inscriptions.

WV: mingl -- very appropriate for that birthday cake.

Devika said...

I'm glad to see that whoever got the Oma cake cared so deeply for their grandmother as to get her such a heartfelt and grammatically correct cake. *rolls eyes*

Mari said...

Wow, absolute unintelligible. Poor Chris' sister. Poor Grandma, who was so wonder-full.

Brie said...

What's the deal with the blue card beside the first cake? Dave is crossed out and replaced with Steve?! That'll sure make the new employee feel welcome...Good thing they didn't write the same thing on the cake...

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I hope Chris's sister gets her parents a cake for their 50th that says, Happy Anniversary Chris's Sister's Mom and Dad.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Judy said...

Where to start? There so much, ...so much...SO MU-U-U-CH!!! Okay removing my hands from the being entangled in my hair...here we go....

How you were even able to read "co-worker" on that cake was beyond me. I tried over and over to read it before going to the cheat sheet. And I love the recycled card for Dave...no wait..STEVE!

As for the Chris's sister cake. Poor kids not only had to share a cake but most likely had to have the misfortune of having shamrocks on it year, after year .....after YEAR. ( Stop that stuff Moms out there. Let the holiday be the holiday and the birthday be the birthday)

As for the Oma cake....Tooo tooo tooooo funnn-eeee!!! Did you also catch the misspelling of "wonderfull"?

Becky B said...

Those are great! So I thought of your site yesterday as I was poking through the bakery at my local grocery store. There is now a "Copyright" sign up about taking photos and recreating their cakes! Hmmm...the only cakes I recreate are the ones you post here. Hmmm....

Renee said...

PINK: THANK YOU!!! My younger brother & I have birthdays 4 days apart soon after Christmas. Not only did we have to SHARE a cake (Mom would make one sheet cake, half was for my brother, half for me) we had to suffer through shared Christmas/Birthday presents too! I guess I should be thankful that my mother didn't ever call me R's sister though!

Isaac the K said...

My my older sister and I were born two years and one day apart (we were supposed to be a present for my dad that he couldn't return).
Once we held a surprise birthday party for each other on the same day, in the same place.
One very confused individual was invited to BOTH parties seperately.

I think it was my mom's idea.

About the last one, if it's a "thanks for the memories" cake, it's either for a departure or, more likely in case of a grandmother, in honor/memory of her after death. Honestly, cake for a funeral? I think that's the most bizarre and hidden feature of this wreck.

Katy said...

It's not so mush the "wonderfull" i have a problem with...
but does that say "mamories"?!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

I hope Chris is in charge of this friend's cake on their birthday. We'll see the cake that says "Happy Birthday Chris's Friend"

Steve suddenly was hired to replace Dave who decided mere hours before starting work that the gig wasn't for him.

And poor Oma, you'd think a grandmother who provided such memories would have grandkids that knew what to call her when ordering a cake.

Michelle said...

"This is our daughter Dottie. ... This is our other daughter, Dottie's sister."

joyce said...

The red lettering on the first cake, "greetings" is done so prettily, and then the wreck-word. wow.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Very touching. It looks like the first cake just said "worker" and the "co" was added as an after thought.

Lala said...

I hope Chris's Sister was out getting wrecked on her 21st so she did not have to witness this one.

"Dear Oma thank you for all wonderfull memories" is kind of a weird sentiment for someone to give their Oma. It has a kind of closure or farewll feeling. Is grandma going away?

Amy said...

Did someone just forget "Chris' sister's" name, or what?
That last wreck is just terribly, pathetically, sad..

~Amy B

Richard said...

I really like that "Dave" is exxed out with "Steve!" written over it.

Mrs Jones said...

(Back in the day I was known to bleat out the occasional "EXTERMINATE!" when talking to the "parental units," but then a friend told me I was "too carbon-based" to pull off the 'bot vibe, so I stopped.)Are you a Doctor Who fan, by any chance (past or present)?

El Comodoro said...

Regarding your firsty, I had no idea that cakes were being decorated with Sanskrit these days. The fake-looking, dramatic cross-out of Dave-I-Mean-Steve really tops it off nicely.

This is the friendly but absent-minded workplace that says, "We're nice enough to welcome you with cake, Co-Worker X, but not competent enough to get the details of your identity. So this was really just about having cake with a stranger, wasn't it?"

"And welcome!"
www.captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com

WV: saukert - Noun. Essential component of a Reuben sandwich.

Suzanne B. said...

So ... I'm thinking, yes, an 18th birthday IS important ... but isn't 21 a bit MORE-SO?? Wow, talk about getting shoved aside on a special day! I'm really thinking TWO cakes, but, silly me ... what do I know?

And, as for the other cake, tell me it was made somewhere where the word, "the" is supposed to be omitted?? Right?

Yota Armai said...

They only invited Chris' sister to the party because she is old enough to buy them beer. Ironically enough, I'm Chris' sister too, except he's older.

RamblingDreamer said...

That first cake is such a shame. The word "Greetings" is written so well...

Jani said...

It isn't the fact that they call their grandmother Oma. That's perfectly appropriate in Germanic and Scandinavian families. It's the fact that somebody decided that Oma deserved really, really hot pink for her name.

And, apparently, needed to be thanked for her mamories. 'Cause I swear that's what it says.

As for poor Chris. It could be worse. My best friend was born on Christmas day. She didn't get cake. And they took one of her Christmas pressies and wrapped it in birthday paper. 'Cause apparently her birthday wasn't that exciting. The one I feel for is Chris' sister. Must sick. Almost like being the (wife).

But I am most disappointed that there are no quotes around Oma. Shouldn't there be quotes?

msprimadonna67 said...

Poor Chris' sister. It makes me a little mad at Chris' parents.

sendingtheclowns said...

BOGUS!!??!!
That first "inscription" looks to me like: "Tieetings Coriloiker"
And of course they had to do that because the idiots weren't really sure WHO had actually been hired, and on top of that were too cheap to even get a fresh envelope to put the card in. I'll bet Dave/Steve/Coriloiker was instantly/rightfully worried about who the hell his first paycheck was going to be made out to.
=^!!^=

Cakey Goodness said...

Why is there a kidney on the first cake? Poor Dave, er, Steve. And I'd really like to hear from Chris's sister.

WV: undle -- Where is Chris's sister? She's crying undle the table.

Anne said...

Michelle, I was reminded of that great A League of Her Own quotation, too!

VeggieT said...

"Hello I'd like to order cake for two birthdays, It's Chris's 18th birthday, and Chris's Sisters 21st birthday, her name is Emily. You got that?"

"Yes sir, one Birthday cake for Chris and Chris's Sister..."

Decorator thinks: "What a Cheapskate! can't even afford two cakes. Hey Where'd I leave that one left over from saint patty's day? Oh there it is! What did he say again? Oh ya, Chris is 18 and Chris's Sister is 21...

lol! excellent cake selection as usual.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

I thought it said "congratulations" and then had an L in it somewhere... hmm...

j.cro said...

Does that last cake say Mamories?
Sweet!!

Donna said...

"Oma" is also Korean for aunt, and can be used for "mom's friend." But like said before.. what a weird thing to write on a cake.

kate said...

The icing on the first one looks like ketchup. :s

Melanie said...

My guess for the Dave cake is that his friends bought him a cake only to find out that his sister was in town and it was her birthday too... So as to not have her feel left out they threw it on the cake.

WV: Missess - some spelling error you would see on a cake!

Caitlyn said...

"So remember, Chris's sister: You are unique. Just like the rest of Chris's siblings."

LOL! Out of all of the hilarious things I've read on this blog, nothing has made me laugh harder than this. Priceless!!

Suzanne Dargie said...

Oma is actually DUTCH for Grandmother.

AGoodFedora said...

Oma is my Grandmother's name. (it also means mother in Korean, if I recall correctly). Either way, no mother, grandmother, or random person with that name needs a cake that looks like a card bought in bulk (one clearance due to spelling/grammar). Though I bet it was tasty, I mean, it is cake after all.

VeraMente said...

Oh boy! Just found your place and I'm telling you, I haven't had such a good laugh in a looong time. I cried myself trough the pages. Thank you, I'll be back =)

Amy said...

I think the card is the clue to the first cake - it originally said "Greetings, Dave" but then they realized his name was Steve instead of Dave. So they tried to fix it...

Tnomeralc Web Design Toys said...

You sure we didn't hang out with the same crowd in high school? ;-)

SKH said...

I recall an incident with the PGUs which resulted in grounding for two weeks for calling them the parental carbon units. Ah the memories these cakes bring back!

aragamuffinsreflections said...

Thanks for the great laugh today! Exactly what I needed to get my Friday afternoon kick-started. Too funny!

Another other mother said...

For some reason this port reminds me of the restaurant I went to for my 22nd birthday. The waitstaff came out with a cake and sang: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear customer, Happy Birthday to you.

drgns4vr said...

I shared a birthday with an uncle, and it was only a week before my father's. To simplify family get togethers we often shared a birthday cake (or pie, or watermelon (in the case of my brother and cousin's July birthday)) (I'm getting confused in the parentheses, here). Anyway, I'm not sure my life was ruined, but then, my family was good about seeing the names were spelled right. Anyway, I may be messed up now, but thankfully it's not because of birthday cake.

Judy said...

Thanks for the Mamories Oma.

I'm thinking this cake is from the granddaughter who is pretty proud of the the family...Ummm...how shall we say it....."ASSETS" that were handed down to her ;)

Morgi said...

I was almost sad when the bakery got my boss' cake absolutely right today, because it meant I wouldn't be submitting it to Cake Wrecks. :(

Kevin said...

Oh my. Thanks for the inspiration. I am DEFINITELY doing a cake in early June for our two youngest daughters. It will say, "Happy 21st Birthday Kate" and "Happy 24th birthday Kate's Sister."

My stomach hurts from laughing, and Kate has approved this cake idea.

Now I'm just trying to figure out colors for it all. Can't use St. Paddy's Day green.

Kristen said...

I love the Doctor Who Dalek reference on the first cake haha :)

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard about the second cake/your commentary. Thanks for brightening my day by a bit, lol.

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

Wow, before I actually read what was written about the cake, it took me forever to try and decifer what the first cake read. "Congratulations Coworker"?? I can tell you right now that this is NO WHERE near what I was thinking--I actually don't really know what I was thinking--I just know that this wasn't close at all.

Anonymous said...

People, people! This is what happens when privacy laws go too far! The HR rep did not have the new employee's permission to communicate his/her name yet. And I bet someone stepped out of bounds by writing a name on the card envelope before all the background checks were complete.

It goes without saying that Chris's sister just wants to protect her identity, especially now that she's 21.

Suzanne S.

Anonymous said...

Is it me, or does the color of poor Oma's name really clash with the rest of the cake?

And once again, we have that lovely combination of spacing, misspelling, and tilting upward to the right that gives cakes that "special" touch.

But...no sprinkles?

crayonbeam said...

it makes me wonder if Chris, being younger, was always refered to as Sister's Name Here's little brother, and this is some family fun revenge?

Anonymous said...

Dear Company,

While passing the time until my much anticipated first day on the job with you, I was reading my favorite blog and discovered what cakewreckers you people really are. As a lifelong fan of cakes, I cannot abide such thoughtless wreckoration. Therefore, I tender my resignation before I begin.

Sincerely,

Dave

P.S. I have a friend in the same field who is currently seeking employment. His name is Steve.

MalMal said...

Perhaps Oma breastfed her children. And grandchildren...

And perhaps after all those years and feedings, her breasts began... migrating, as they are wont to do in the later years.

Thanks, Oma, for the wanderful mamories.....

wv: myoustly. I'm myoustly joking.... myoustly.

Joanne said...

Not to mention the use of bad grammar. It should read "Chris' sister".

Kath said...

Aspiloiker is how I read the first cake. Poor Steve.

I am a twin, and my parents never made my sister and me share a cake. Ever. And even though our birthday is at the end of October, we never had Halloween cakes. It can be done.

The last cake did look like "Mamories" until I viewed it larger. Even though the handwriting is rather poor, it does actually spell "Memories." Still an unfortunate cake, but I'm guessing that Oma didn't actually get to see it, being dead and all.

Anonymous said...

Mj said
The third one is not a fail. Oma is german for grandma

elesa said...

Wow. If Oma is the one who is responsible for All Wonderful memories, then I think she deserves TWO cakes!

wordnerd said...

the word Oma does mean "grandmother" in German. it may also mean it in Dutch, but it definitely means it in German.

Olson said...

Judy... you have a being entangled in your hair???? Definitely get your hands off of it!!! lol

My own Grandmother's name was Oma and I'm named after her (spelling is different though...don't ask...I don't know why...) What I was thinking about the last cake was that someone may have misspelled the name and it had to be corrected, but whoever did it didn't have the correct color.
Either way....niiiiiice!! lol

bigSIS said...

one year (a long time ago) we had a family get-together while my mom was home for the summer from Grad School. We decided to celebrate everyone's birthday's, my graduation, my brother's wedding and Mother & Fathter's Day all in one cake. They picked my favorite color - purple, and the bakery actually pulled it off really well. Wish I had a pick of that cake. It definitely did not fit the 'wreck' catergory.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

I have a very good friend who is always greeted with "Oh you're [her brother's name] sister!" They are both now in their 40's and she STILL gets this from time to time. *facepalm* They are 11 months apart, but if their birthday was on the same day I wonder if someone would get the cake for them as a joke. She wouldn't find it funny though...

The Oma cake looks beautiful, but the writing is wrecktastic. I'm sure (if it wasn't for her funeral 0_o) that as a wonderful grandma, Oma would think it was the most beautiful cake in the world. (grandmas are good at that kind of thing, you know)

The coworker cake...I wouldn't eat that much red frosting if you paid me. Bleh! never mind that it's so artfully written in the national language of Wreckistan.

The Masked Mommy said...

haha! This is your best post in awhile!

Jess said...

That first cake definitely says "Aprilorter" - an obvious homage to Ninja Turtles April the reporter.

As for "Cris's sister" - That cake is really wrecky. Nothing like receiving a personally humiliating birthday cake from the current holiday stock.

Scritzy said...

I laughed so hard at that first cake. It looks as if someone just squeezed the piping bag arbitrarily. Well, just make it look like a name, and you'll be okay.

And the last one struck me because I had a great-great aunt named Oma, and I've never seen the name anywhere else.

Word verification: Dripat. Just dripat frosting anywhere on the cake and call it a day.

Glory von Hathor said...

PepePorker.

Wreck number one definitely says PepePorker.

sendingtheclowns said...

So...what's the deal with all the "Mamaries" in question?
I know what you guys are getting at, >^~-^<, but for one thing, it should be spelled "mammaries," and for a second thing, shouldn't it be just "Thanks for BOTH of the mammaries"? Unless Oma is a possum or cat or something. Whatever.
At least they were no doubt wonderously FULL...

Sweet Bird said...

I am pleased with the Doctor Who reference.

Very pleased.

Hyena Overlord said...

Red icing. Isn't that hazardous to your health?

Coca Cola Cake said...

Hiii Nice cake blog..i have can many cake again on this blog happy nice day

Sarah said...

Fly-by commenting. Doctor Who reference for the win!

Julie said...

OMG, the last one - when I was managing a bakery at a big-box store I was in very very early one morning making donuts and this woman came in and grabbed one of our "Happy Birthday" cakes out of the case. She asked me if I would put a name on it. Well apart from the fact that my cursive is just AWFUL (I have been exclusively printing since high school) I was NOT a cake decorator, just the department manager. AND the icing the C.D had piped the writing in wasn't in a bag any more so I had to grab the next-closest color. UGH! My cake probably looked a lot like this one. I apologized profusely to the customer but she said it looked "great". Yeeeaaah. Not so much.

Anonymous said...

I was so glad I was alone when I read this post, since I did laugh out loud. And then I could practice my alien robot impersonation greeting a new coworker.

And to the few of you who don't think the Oma cake is a wreck: it is not because the name is uncommon! It is because it was an afterthought in mismatched icing, there are missing word(s), and spacing issues. Definately a wreck.

And to the mom's that make one sheet cake for two kids special days: if it bothers them, cut it in half and make TWO cakes. Wow. Not hard. Buying from the store, 2 half sheets cost mores than 1 full sheet, but if you make yourself, just spread the icing a little thinner!!!

Alex

Kelly said...

Oh my goodness. These cakes plus your witty commentary (they score almost evenly right now) made me laugh loudly. Thanks for the joy.

Me said...

Um....its the thought that counts?

right, Oma....

um...Oma?

Anonymous said...

Oma--is Mom in Korean.

Joshua said...

Kevin: It's nice that Kate approved the cake idea. But has her sister approved it? If Kate's sister doesn't read Cake Wrecks, I anticipate some acrimony on her birthday.

luna said...

oh dear. i thought i was the only one whose brother referred to her only as "sis"...or "my sister" to his friends. i seriously doubt if any of them know my actual name.
while i do refer to him as "my little brother" to people who are not acquainted, he does have a name...and i call him by it.
thank the stars that our bdays are nearly 6 months apart...as i *did* receive my own cakes....*sigh*

mfeagan1980 said...

Ok...the writing is horrible on the Oma cake, but just to clear it up...Oma is German for grandma. That's what I call mine from Germany. Opa is grandpa.

Anonymous said...

The "Chris's Sister" cake and your comment about what she may have been called before Chris was born made me laugh uncontrollably. I never laugh so hard I cry. Thanks for that.

~james~ said...

I scream "Exterminate!" to my hubby when he makes me mad, he doesn't get it.

FTR...though I don't really know why it matters, it's just bugging me like bad grammar...
Oma-grandma in German (don't know about Dutch, I only lived in Germany for 6 years)
Oma-Mom in Korean (my own mother is Korean making me a halfie)
Emo-Auntie in Korean

Belovedgoddess said...

I love the 18th/21st birthday cake, now I know what to do when my kids turn those ages. Their birthdays are 10 days apart, we used to get away with a single party. I wonder if I can pull it off in four years complete with a 'Happy 18th Birthday Thomas/Happy 21st Birthday Thomas' Sister'?

CharlesP said...

That last one reminds me of my days as a grocery store baker (Cub Foods in Griffin, GA) where I split duties between baking bread, frying donuts, and ticking off my boss who would then make me close.

Closing meant that while the bakery was officially closed, customers could SEE that I was there and want a name on a cake. My handwriting isn't the best, but it's not too bad when using a bag of icing. The problem was that half the time they'd want a name added to an existing "Happy Birthday" cake that was already out in the case. Those Happy Birthday's had been done by our regular decorator and I always felt bad (and warned the customers) that there was NO Way I was going to be able to match the original handwriting... we won't even get into the color matching issue.

Luckily this was back in 1998 before I changed to warehouse work and then moved into IT with Amazon.com... otherwise I'd worry some of my handiwork would've shown up here.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha...the green cake is hilarious...& your comment made me laugh really loudly...

Erica said...

I love the Dr. Who reference. It cracked me up!

Cook said...

Seriously? No one pointed out that Daleks aren't actually robots but aliens in robot battle suits? I have been violently corrected for the same offense.

Anonymous said...

It is entirely possible that the "Chris's sister" was an inside joke.

Anonymous said...

Depending on how many kids they have, Chris's parents might call out "Hey Chris' sister, time for lunch!" and have 4 or 5 kids with the same name come running.