Saturday, April 25, 2009

Professionally Administrated Wrecks

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I usually try to feature holiday Wrecks on the holiday in question, but when I was out of town recently I missed a couple. So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you.


Ok, so it's not horrible, but I do have two issues with it:

First, as submitter Danielle C. points out, the girl is green. "I'm not sure why," she writes, "but I've narrowed it down to either motion sickness or a subtle witch insult."

(Ah, but there is one more possibility, Danielle: She could be an Orion slave girl! Granted, that might be construed as an even bigger insult than the witch thing, but any Trek reference is a good one in my book.)

And secondly, this cake doesn't actually say anything. No "Thanks" or "We appreciate you" or "Today, skip the collating!" - nada. So in essence really all this cake says is "You work here, and we wanted cake." How...touching. I'm sure all the admins working there were inspired to new heights of administrative professionalism. Really.

'Course, considering these next examples I can see the logic behind a writing-less cake:

And Mary Pat, since I know all the glass-half-full people are going to point it out anyway: Those flowers ARE quite pretty, don't you think?

This Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor:

And that is it's made of chocolate.

Yep, that plastic butterfly makes a heroic effort, but in the end still can't save this squiggly monochromatic mass from the Wreck heap. I can't actually say it's misspelled, though, because every time I try to decipher the squiggles the eyestrain gives me a headache. (And if that's a decorator tactic, it's brilliant. Brilliant, I say!)
Maggles said...

I can't believe how bad the spelling is on that second cake. I can understand the double-f, but no s?

Wonderful post, as usual!

D.B. Echo said...

Don't forget, Enterprise established that the Orion Slave Girls are actually the ones in charge...just like Administrative Professionals!

WVW: trout. Yes, trout.

Anonymous said...

well.. they did put two f's in "professional..." hahah

Shari said...

nope, the chocolate cake definitely has two f's in "professional," so the squished font technique did not work. It is chocolate, however.

Molly said...

That definitely says proffesionals. I'm going to go ahead and declare that word misspelled. It's 9:50 am EST.

sendingtheclowns said...

Holy crap.
Holy, HOLY C-R-A-P CRAP!!!!
That admin being (I remember when they were called "secretaries") is --no question about it--VERY, VERY good at what she does. She is able to conduct business without a single key on her keyboard! Without blinking a pastel eye! She also must be left-handed (or magic) because I don't see a mouse. Her headset is growing straight out of her head. I'm guessing Borg.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Well maybe she was a very bad administrator and so cake was the only way to make up for it? Anyhoo... the chocolate one is um.... very.... brown. Yes... that's not too incriminating. Brown.

Erik said...

I do think that last one is misspelled. I believe I can see the loops of two consecutive f's.

So can I recommend a new national holiday? "Give A Dictionary To A Bakery Day!"

denisewalks said...

"So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you."

LMAO!!

And that chocolate one doesn't even look that appetizing for being chocolate.

sendingtheclowns said...

I also maintain that anyone who IS one, EMPLOYS one, or is making a cake DEDICATED to one, should at the very least be able to SPELL the damn word "professional" correctly. Crap like this makes my *crabby* cells riot violently in my brain.
Good thing these are funny!
=^><^=

Jo UK said...

I'm baffled. Maybe it's because I am on the other side of the pond. But are you saying that there is a specific day in America where cake is given to secretaries??? Sorry - administrative professionals? An *actual day* like Mothering Sunday or Valentines? I mean, do bosses give their employees cards as well as cake? Or the day off? Wow!

We Brits don't have this. I guess our cynicism is a successful shield against the marketing ploy of greetings card companies . . . or maybe we don't appreciate our 'administrative professionals' enough . . . or maybe we appreciate them *every* day, not just one prescribed to us by Hallmark. . .

And do you celebrate *everyones* jobs? I mean, there are more than 365 professions out there so the cake and card companies must be doing orders every single day of the year and doubling up too, no doubt, at busy times like Christmas . . . Do you have a list of days like this? "Happy Waitressing Day" "Every Best Wish to my local Fishmonger" "Felicitations to you on Bricklayer's Day" . .. that sort of thing.

Wow - no wonder there are so many cake wrecks out there. My horizons are well and truly widened! Thanks!

heather said...

No wonder Admin Asst. are so needed. No one else in the office can figure out how to order a cake. Bless her little green heart.

Kathy at the Junk Drawer said...

Hilarious commentary! Oh, and I love how they found it necessary to give the green woman, in no uncertain terms, boobs.

john(the hubby of Jen) said...

JO Uk,

I seriously just had the most fun reading your comment (you sounded just like Q from the Bond films in my head).

But yes, the day is real, and much deserved by those brave souls who slave under tyrannical memo-wielding bosses for a living.

That said, we also have:

Apr 11- Eight-track tape day
Oct 3- Virus Appreciation day
Jan 6- Bean day

But who doesn't love beans?

mmmmmm beeeaaans...

john

Jennie said...

That second cake definitely explains why we need administrative professionals... I mean, proffionals... clearly, the bakery needs to hire one to do their proof reading!

Sho said...

Now why would you treat so poorly the person in the office who is most likely to know all your personal info?

I'm looking forward to the Boss's Day cakes! The difficulty will be trying to differentiate which errors were unintended.

Pam said...

It would be so much simpler if they still called it "Secretaries' Day!"

willendorf5761 said...

I think I'm glad we just gave our administrative professional flowers.

Meagan said...

John -
I didn't know that we had such arcane holidays. I guess that I need to add those to my calendar!
What does one do to celebrate 8-track day?
Presumably on bean day, you eat them - or is that you don't - you free them?? You're FREE, have cake!
You definitely have cake for Virus appreciation day.

Sadly, I think we have Administrative "Proffional" Day" because they would never get appreciated without it.

Amy said...

The butterfly looks like it flew into the galaxy..probably sent from the Orion girl.

~Amy
PS. Professional is the "professional' spelling.;O) LOL

Melissa (from Idaho) said...

Maybe with the last two cakes they're trying to make the point that the administrative professionals are the ones that do the proofreading?

sendingtheclowns said...

john(the hubby of Jen) said...

"... we also have:

Apr 11- Eight-track tape day
Oct 3- Virus Appreciation day
Jan 6- Bean day"
=================================
Virus Appreciation day?!
Good Heavens--you weren't making it up!!!
(I Googled it while nibbling on a grain of salt.)
Now there is time to plan accordingly.
For me, that means doing absolutely nothing--but thanks just the same! The world is a better place for having so many Important Days to acknowledge and make cakes for!!
>^~~^<

panda with cookie said...

Perhaps they should have stopped with a simple 'Thanks!' As a former cake decorator, trying to squash the word 'professional' in amongst the flowers is never a good idea.

Jo UK said...

Ah, John!

Yes, we are all *just* like James Bond characters over in the UK! You've obviously visited our fair shores . . I even have a cat like Q's . . . .

But hey - how's this for wierdness - my birthday is on January 6th and my daughter's name is Bean!! So, now I shall be able to raise another glass in honour of the American Bean Day. How jolly will that be!!!????

Oh, hang on a tick - you're joking, aren't you?

(confused) Aren't you??

(thinking) Oh, any excuse for a cake, it would seem - and I expect beans (in all their variety) would be a particularly easy shape to bodge . . .

(My daughter isn't officially, birth-certificatley called Bean but it's what everyone calls her. My birthday *is* January 6th, just so you remember for next year . . .)

mrspost2u said...

"That second cake definitely explains why we need administrative professionals... I mean, proffionals... clearly, the bakery needs to hire one to do their proof reading!"

Wouldn't that be proff reading?

Hyena Overlord said...

#3...Happy Administrative Punishment Day?

After clowns in icing and bondage on a cake nothing will ever be right in the world.

wv...erget: the cake wrecks equivilent of this...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egret.

Yota Armai said...

You guys missed my favorite non-holiday holiday. International Talk Like a Pirate Day on Sept. 19th.

Arrr! Now hoist the main sail me hearties and make haste! For there be cake wrecks in these waters!

Jenny said...

"his Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor: And that is it's made of chocolate."

If you look closely at the chunk that's missing from the cake, you'll see that it's white on the inside. It's a sad sad wreck both inside and out.

Tom and Erin said...

Okay, does anyone else see the pinkness bleeding on the bottom of that first cake? Is that from the pepto-pink border or just a strange choice of airbrushing?

kid-lit-fan said...

Oh no, Pam, nothing would be simplified; we'd be awash in cakes celbrating Secretarys Day or Secretarie's Day or Secatarrys Day or Secrete Aries Day.

sendingtheclowns said...

@kid-lit-fan:
Heh heh...so very, vairy, varrie true!
What you said would be innevitible, inedibitle, inevatabel...
a sure thing.
I see you've been around this block a time or two, yes?

Christine said...

The orion slave girl actually seems to be wearing a Starfleet uniform as well (admitedly, one thats been through the wash a few too amny times)

Megan said...

"So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you."

Yes, that was me. Not a cake, per se, but I was asked to send a building-wide email thanking our administrative assistants for all they do. It made me want to write, "And you know they're the ones who do all the work around here when they are the ones sending this email!"

MeghanJG said...

The best part about it is if it were the administrative "proffesional" her/himself who had ordered that cake, they'd would have been looked down upon for the misspelling. (Take it from an actual administrative professional.)

And Cake #3 is the most "got milk" moment I've seen on your site to date.

purplemoose said...

If you're going to misspell ANYBODY's cake, it should not be the administrative professional. Many would send it back, edited in red icing. (speaking from past experience here.)

Ann-Marie said...

Oh the irony from Jo UK, a post about incorrect spelling and she has managed to completely booboo on the word weirdness.

Darn it.

Gladys said...

Actually the Green Orion Slave Profffesssional looks to me a lot like Courtney Love, perchance after an extended mid-90's bender.

(WV: "cotab"--the medically-approved version of whatever it is Green Courtney was on when she modelled for that pic.)

drgns4vr said...

I just thought the "girl" on cake #1 was green due to political correctness. After all, if you have several Administrative Professionals of various ethnics around, you don't want to pick just one to honor on a cake.
Or maybe ...
I was going to reference Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage here with his description of the green-complected Mildred, but she's a waitress--which may have something to do with serving cake...
This site is doing strange things to my mind.

WV Serfu Mildred asked "May I serfu some cake?"

heather said...

And do you celebrate *everyones* jobs? I mean, there are more than 365 professions out there so the cake and card companies must be doing orders every single day of the year and doubling up too, no doubt, at busy times like Christmas . . . Do you have a list of days like this? "Happy Waitressing Day" "Every Best Wish to my local Fishmonger" "Felicitations to you on Bricklayer's Day" . .. that sort of thing.

I teach 7 and 8 year olds. Each morning our journal entry is a wierd fact or holiday for that date. Yes, you will be surprised how many obsure holidays we have, many of which have been cited by Acts of Congress. Yes, we can't balance the budget, but we can proclaim Jell-o Week or Pancake Day. I will abstain from the Larry Craig Make a New Friend in the Bathroom Day or Buy a Seat from Blagojevich "Senate Seat" Sale Day.

Anonymous said...

to: john(the hubby of Jen)-
There is an excuse for a cake (wreck or not) any day of the year. Just consult:
http://www.gone-ta-pott.com/index.html
for the celebration of the day, week or month.

Dj said...

Girl looks like the hulk to me.

Moony said...

The last cake is definitely misspelled, I can read "Proffesio-al", and I have no idea what it is between the o and the a, but it's definitely not an n.

I believe the green girl is just being very, very sick... of her job.

Aren't there any cakes celebrating Towel Day today? That's something that really deserves a cake.

Julie said...

What about Earth Day cakes? Are there none of those?

~ L. K. said...

I can't WAIT for Oct 3!!!

What a WONDERFUL day. I should order a professional cake. (Granted I could probably do a better job--or at least a more entertaining one.)

Jerri - Simply Sweet Home said...

Hi. I just found you. This is such a funny and interesting concept for a blog!

Susan said...

>This Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor:<

No, two! It has chocolate AND sprinkles!

Anonymous said...

"You work here, and we wanted cake" is a sentiment I'll second any time. ;)

IHateToast said...

That explains the gift on my desk when I returned to work on Thursday.
So this crossed the other pond. I'm in Australia.

funtime42 said...

And that's why I bought our admin support staff ice cream sundaes instead!

MistyGirl_2008 said...

Hmmmm - Anyone decorating cakes should be required to keep a dictionary on hand - and required to USE it...lol.

Julie from
Kids Party Supplies and Kids Cakes

Heather said...

I was supposed to get a cake?! I had no idea. I feel so left out. On the other hand someone did walk into my office on Thursday and ask "Why are there so many flowers on your desk. Is someone sick?"

Kristin aka kjnohr aka Trekkie Gal said...

I thought Orion slave girl before I read it. :D Although that shouldn't surprise you given one of my names.

And I think the 3rd cake is misspelled - it looks like 2 F's in professional, just like the second one.

holly said...

Ha. When I worked as an AA, I got flowers and a card *and* taken out to lunch at a very exclusive restaurant. I was told I deserved it for being the best assistant she'd ever had. 2 months later, I was let go. Shrug. She had issues. And I got 4 months off with unemployment, thanks to her!

Trish said...

Back when I was an Administrative Assistant (it was called a legal secretary back then!) I was taken to lunch at an expensive restaurant, had a few beer with my meal and followed it all up with a fabulous chocolate fondue. I really thought it was a bonus at the time...I had no idea I was supposed to have CAKE!! WTF? I got totally ripped off!!!

Ellen said...

The Orion Slave Girl in the cake #1? Could also be a WITCH!

Etiquette Bitch said...

hilarious. reminded me of my days as an admin -- i hated Admin. Proffinal's week/day/whatever. I was forced-*forced*-to have lunch out with my boss and another admin with whom I hated working. I would have much preferred one of these wrecks.

Whitney G said...

I think the first lady is actually She-Hulk.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you can't read this cake. It obviously says Happy Adminisistutive proffuneol Day. Simple.

Anonymous said...

What is that last cake's icing made out of? It almost looks glowy....which is kinda cool....

Me said...

Happy Proffional Day everyone!

the-ped said...

On the third cake (and I can't believe no one else has commented on this...) besides the misspellings, and the butterfly... there are two plastic flowers. One in the upper left and one int eh lower right, barely hanging on over the cut area.

And? The frosting might be chocolate, but like another commenter pointed out, that last one is white on the inside. Bah!

(Great blog, Jen, been reading you since I found you on SGC Sweets day.)

Tsunoba said...

...Does that second one actually say "Proffional?"

I'm hoping that I'm reading it wrong. And yet, I know in my heart that they did, in fact, spell it like that.

Babymischief said...

I'm from the UK too and I haven't laughed so hard since I found this site. All my friends now tune in for the latest wrecks too. From Babymischief.

JO UK said...

"Ann-Marie said...
Oh the irony from Jo UK, a post about incorrect spelling and she has managed to completely booboo on the word weirdness."

It was a typo, probably as a result of my fast yet fat little fingers being used to the 'i-before-e' combination, even though my brain (you see, I could have said brian there, just to confuse you further) actually knows how to spell the word.

Thankfully, I am neither an Administrative Professional, nor a pedant who searches forums for typographical errors . . .

(Word verification = 'syclogst' which, I believe, would be what your local cake-wrecker would ice onto some luridly coloured and overly floral cake on the day when one has recognise the hard work by one's shrink - "Happy Syclogst Day!"

(oh, and before Ann-Marie pipes up again, here in the UK, we have a 'u' in 'coloured' and use the 'ise' rather that 'ize' at the end of words . . )

Tarra Slovan said...

I just saw a sign for a tarot reader who who said that she sells incents and will help with all your probleems. I didn't take her up on it as she couldn't even manage her own spelling problem.

Little Chickadee said...

Great minds think alike. Upon seeing that last one I thought, 'Well, at least it's chocolate...' and then read your comment about it. LOL

In slightly un-related wreck news, my hubs once bought me a beautifully designed birthday cake. With brown icing. And no, it wasn't chocolate. Just brown. WTF is up with that?

WV: biess 'I am biessed against brown icing that is not chocolate.'

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

JO UK,

Did yuo konw taht acrcdording to a Hvarard stduy dnoe qutie a whlie aog, teh vsat mairojty of litraete hamun binegs cna raed a sneetnce ealisy eevn wehn lal teh letetrs aer ni teh wnorg oedrr?

Cool right? I prefer to think you were simply testing this theory with your spelling gaffe.

On another note, I think you should be an author. You may not think you'll have anything interesting to write about, but I am confident it will be written well and with a certain sass and vigor which you seem to possess in abundance.

Just a thought...

Sincerely,

john

Anonymous said...

I am pretty sure that last cake is decorated in spray cheese. Nearly positive.

Cardell Family said...

The chocolate cake would definitely help! I'm guessing the problem was that the administrative professionals didn't order their own cakes and this was the best the rest of the staff could do without them! So, really, it's a hidden compliment!

NaomiKnight said...

I have to throw in that the chocolate cake has the WORST attempt at cake border piping I have EVER seen, and I have seen a lot of cakes!

Since I've been taking cake decorating courses and learned how cakes actually should be done, these wrecks hurt my eyes even more, lol.

Anonymous said...

My mom, who is the admin. asst. to a fire chief and his two deputies, informed me that the lady on the cake was green because it was Earth Day, as well as being Administrative Professionals Day. Interesting theory; let's hope the decorator actually put that much thought into the cake.

TheAmber said...

I am so very disappointed in my fellow Trekkers on here. The Administrative Professional on the first cake is obviously a Caucasoid Vulcan. Their copper based blood gives lighter skinned Vulcans a green tinge.

Miranda said...

Well, there's no Copy Editors' Day yet, but all in all, I'm gonna say I'm okay with that.

I asked Mr. Gothboy to pick up a couple of cake mixes at the store and he got Betty Crocker instead of Duncan Hines. rarrrrr.

Miranda said...

errm, umm, I hate to disappoint. Witches do not have green skin. *looks down at white-white self* But we do have a predilection for cakes and ale. (usually mead, actually.) So if you're up for a Witches' Day, I'd like dark chocolate and either a glass of mead or a Guinness. XD *slurp*

Jen O. said...

If Jen can take a "Trek" reference out of this cake, I CAN'T WAIT to check the blog when the new movie comes out this spring!

Nina said...

Will there be virus-shaped cakes on Virus Day? Chocolate Ebola? Fondant HIV? Well, I ain't going to buy just any old virus-cake. Gotta be a nice dangerous virus. :)Just a thought...

Nina

Dhr. DeLuxe said...

At least 'Secretary Day' is easier to spell...

Anonymous said...

When I worked for a city government they had a press conference to announce the arrival of new garbage trucks. The mayor put on a hard hat and threw out the ceremonial first bag of trash then he rode on the little ledge on the back of the truck (around the block). They asked all of the employees in the building to come to the lobby to hear the speech and show up in the news footage . They has punch and cake - a big chocolate sheet cake decorated with the logo -a stylized image of the trash hauler that was on the uniforms of the department. Underneath this image on the cake in large letters was BUREAU OF SOLID WASTE . Yum, appetizing!

Anonymous said...

The bakery would make it "Secretary's Day". On administrative professionals day in our office (large accounting firm) everyone who is in Internal Firm Services (i.e not an accountant) got invited to a breakfast which was served to us by partners wearing aprons. They even came around to warm up our coffee too many times like annoying wservers who were trying too hard.

Strange Angel said...

@NaomiKnight

OMG! NAOMI! -squeee-

...sorry. -cough- Old friend, haven't seen her in a while. lol

Bethie said...

When I saw the first cake I immediately thought of Scooby-doo. She looks like she belongs on an episode with those meddling kids chasing behind her. Maybe, she is the secretary to the Hanna Barbera studios.

Gabrielle said...

Obviously, that green secretary on the first cake is a zombie. Duh. :)

John & Jennifer Savage said...

I like how you can hear the little wheels turning in the cake decorator's head for the second cake. "Proffes - oh, I'm not gonna have enough room - maybe I can convert that 'es' into 'io' - Proffional! Meh, good enough."

Anonymous said...

I like the red splotch on the bottom of the first cake. Maybe the cake is saying, "You work here and wanted cake. Don't hurt us"?

Cupcakes Lady said...

Hilarious commentary. Love how they found it necessary to give the green woman boobs. Funny Stuff! xx