Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Belly Cakes, Continued

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I believe I ended yesterday by saying that belly cakes were in dire need of some serious sex appeal. Well fortunately, a couple of Anony Mice have come to the rescue. Now then, I'll just cue up some sexy saxophone "Muzak" for atmosphere...

[Accordion instrumental of the "Chicken Dance" begins to play]

Whoops! Haha! Sorry - wrong CD. [fumbling with disks]

[Sax rendition of "Whole New World" begins]

Theeere we go. Much better. Ok. Y'all ready?




Ta Da!

Or should I say "Ta Ta?" [wicked grin]

Something about this brings the image of Han Solo frozen in carbonite to mind. But hey, killer nips!

Still, it's just not sexy enough, you know? I mean, it still has some clothes on.

Enter the "Sexy Suds" belly cake!

This clean bit of fun was submitted by the baker herself, although she asked to remain anonymous. And hey, it IS a beautifully done cake - it's just also a pregnant torso wearing nothing but bubbles. (Woo woo woo!)

But you wanna know the best part? Anony writes:

"The highlight was that the belly was filled with custard and with a tacky little plastic baby inside. When the Mom-to-be cut into the cake she had to use forceps (kitchen-tongs) to remove the plastic baby. Honestly, it was VERY funny at the time."

Oh I believe you, my friend - I do. Just remember: It's all fun and games 'til it ends up on Cake Wrecks*. Or 'til mom-to-be's in in the delivery room talking smack and brandishing a pair of kitchen tongs. One of the two, anyway. ;)


*I admit it: This is a shameless plug to sell more CW aprons.
Susan T-O said...

Custard and a plastic baby? Oh, that's horrid. . . wish I'd thought of it.

Malibu Niki said...

There was a plastic baby inside it?! Yuck!!

Anonymous said...

The second cake is actually quite clever. Creepy, but clever.

Mad Izatie said...

GYAAAAAH! GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

...they look pretty well made, but still. would you plunge a knife into the dome of the belly without thinking twice? I know i would...

The Kitchen Gadget Goddess said...

A custard-filled belly cavity and a plastic baby removed with tongs? It might have been funny at the time, but now? It's just revolting!!!

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

"Hans" Solo? Prepare to have the Star Wars fans go after you in a rage.

And before I read the commentary, I thought that second cake was covered in popcorn, not fondant bubbles. Yikes.

Em said...

That is just so very wrong and disturbing, especially the fact that the belly was custard-filled. I would've been so grossed out if I were a guest at that shower!

Anonymous said...

I love that the second cake just has to say "Ready to pop?" It's almost as if they saw your earlier posts and have decided to see how ridiculous they can get their cake to look!

Anonymous said...

Sexy suds is a home decorator. You can tell by the aluminum foil covered cake board. Even the worst bakeries wouldn't do that.

Chelle said...

The worst part has to be cutting into the cake. It's just so... murdery.

MJS said...

The bubbles cake would be cute if it weren't, you know, a naked pregnant woman with an ooze-covered plastic baby inside.

Seriously, I guess I haven't been to enough baby showers lately. I had no idea decapitated amputated pregnant torsos were all the rage.

El Comodoro said...

Cake Wrecks? No, Cake RETCH.

I maintain my support for formal rules (punishable by death) stating that no internal biological process (heck, maybe some external ones too) shall ever be recreated using fondant or the like. Ever.

This almost got as ugly as those toe-tag cadaver cakes.

www.captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com

Trevor said...

See, I was just expecting these to be MUCH worse, based on the build up you gave them yesterday. Stil.....

Cake for Breakfast said...

I will admit, for as awful and tacky as fishing the plastic baby out of custard sounds - it probably was reallllly funny if you were there at that shower. And the bubbles on that 2nd cake are pretty. I'm clearly having a "glass half full" kind of day.

HotHeaded said...

How very creepy. The second one reminded me of all the weird pregnancy dreams of taking the baby out of my belly to play with it or check on it and then putting it back when I was done. But they usually involved a zipper. :)

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

lol that was a rather ingenious and very strange idea to put a baby in the cake :)

Pink said...

OMG...that does remind me of frozen Han Solo!

Now as for the 2nd cake, again I don't like it personally (nor the plastic baby idea) but it sounds like the people who planned it sure had fun so why not?

I wish we had pics of the c-section.

WV: comin That baby's comin!

very married said...

it's SO wrong but it's SOOO funny. i can't wait for one of my friends to get preggo now!

Diane - DB Impressions said...

I agree with those who said the 2nd one was clever, but I do think they're both just creepy. WICKED creepy, lol.

Angie said...

Personally, I think the idea of cutting open a cake belly is beyond creepy, but if that's what the Mom-to-Be wants, then I say have at it!

And the 2nd cake may be an amateur baker, but I think it's the best belly cake I've seen so far.

Jeremy said...

You had me until the forcepts/baby extraction/custard placenta bit. Gah, indeed.

With that said, Custard Placenta is like the best Indie band name ever.

DangGina said...

There are...no words. (Although I KNOW that "sexy" isn't among the first thousand words to finally surface...)

Jennifer said...

When I scrolled down to the second cake, my four year old started singing "It's the Mickey Mouse clubhouse!"
Sometimes his eye is better than mine.
Good stuff (custardy baby excluded, of course).

Ayse said...

If you look at the zoomed in version of the second cake, the belly button is the *cutest* little curly q.

I mean...bad. Bad bad.

joyce said...

I agree--the first one does remind me of Hans Solo frozen...and the second one made we wonder if the poor woman drowned. Yikes.

wv: nockin: I am not knocking Star Wars, I am agreeing with Jen

StuffCooksWant said...

Custard and plastic baby. Ick. But, I guess we can be thankful they didn't add in some raspberry jam...

Christy said...

the first cake makes me want to cry. it's hysterical and ridiculous at the same time.

this isn't a prego belly cake, but it is a headless, arm/leg-less torso cake that appears is going for the sexy-torso-cake thing. I think the worst part of this one is the panties/bikini bottoms and the line going between her legs. CREEEEEPY!
http://www.sugarbutterflour.com/products/enlargednew/birthday/Bikini.htm

aside from the creepy factor, it's seems to be well made.

Aleesuhn_Muhree said...

Oh good lord...

sendingtheclowns said...

I have to admit to being a touch let down...okay--a lot.
I guess I was expecting something in the realm of a "How To MAKE a Baby" scenario. You know, REALLY "spicy." (Why not? There seems to be no real limit to the depravity these bakers are capable of. The tackier the better, seemingly.)
That first one looks like something that was washed up on the beach in a shark-infested area.
Those clear half-bubbles, though, are darling. (Whoa! I found a redeeming quality...sort of.)

Anonymous said...

Okay, I've never posted here before, but I come here daily. I have to comment on that second cake. A custard filled belly and a "baby" being delivered by forceps. GROSS! The only thing that would make it worse is if the cake was red velvet!

Pastrygirl04

Anonymous said...

I love the bubble cake! Anyone who has been massively pregnant will recognize the bathing problem so amusingly presented here - there is no bathtub in existence deep enough to accomodate an at-term tummy. You can submerge most of yourself, but you end up looking like a collection of volcanic islands in the ocean.

It's actually the most realistic pregger torso representation provided so far!

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahahahahaha
plastic baby and kitchen tongs
laughing too hard to type anymore

Glory von Hathor said...

The bubble-tum cake has a certain essence of vintage Lil Kim to it. Just a few Swarovski crystals and it's ready for the red carpet.

Sherene said...

Is it wrong that I love the bathing belly cake complete with custard and fetus filling? Too cool.

All I got was a sheet cake. :(

Kirsten said...

How horrible is it that I now WANT a belly cake JUST to send to Cake Wrecks when I have my first???? HA HA!!! These just make me laugh So much!!! Although, I have to admit, the one you posted where she was actually clothed was my favorite. it was actually kind of pretty...but again, kind of awkward to cut into. Again, bravo on a an EXCELLENT site that keeps me laughing every single day!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

OK, somebody help me. I'm know not a Star Wars devotee, but I know who Han Solo is...I just can't seem to find him in the first cake...pregant pause as I await assistance.....

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

One of our co-worker's wives is expecting in October and I was discussing the shower with another co-worker the other day. My brain started boiling when she asked if I did belly cakes. Thank goodness we got interrupted by actual work.

Kat said...

I'm afraid to admit this but...those are both kinda classy...modest...not too to awful.
Huh, must be the preggo brain (34 weeks and counting)

Lulubelle said...

Ok, I have a sick mind. I admit it. But I can't be alone in associating "Ready to Pop" with the gigantic white blops all over that second cake. In my head, that is a cake for someone who really likes pregnant bellies, if you know what I mean.

Nikki said...

The plastic baby in the custard-filled cake is HILARIOUS!!!! I wouldn't do it to one of my friends, and I'd HATE for someone to do it to me, but that is FUNNY!!!

WV: pablan - Yeah, I have a sick sense of humor. Got a pablan with that?

Alexia said...

Okay that is waaay to funny - after I finished reading your post yesterday I was thinking "why hasn't anyone thought of putting a baby in those bellies?"

I guess someone beat me to it...darn.

XOXO said...

Cheers to the baker for recognizing the Wreck-tacular-ness.

I suppose it could have been worse.

Somehow.

jackie31337 said...

The first one looks more like a guy with well-defined pecs and a beer belly than a pregnant torso to me,

jackie31337 said...

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said "Hans" Solo?Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share the always funny Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it)

Kim in the Kitchen said...

It is HAN Solo! It must be a major misconception to call him Hans because that's not the first time I've heard it. We made so much fun of my father-in-law when he called him Hans, in fact we still joke about it years later! Jen - I thought you were a sci-fi geek? Star Wars mistake aside, I love Cake Wrecks, it always starts my day off with a laugh: )

Amy said...

Custard and baby. Interesting. I like the sudsy belly better than the top one, though.
~Amy B.

Anonymous said...

My husband was watching "Trashiest Weddings Ever" last night. I suppose that these are examples of the baby shower cakes these sort of people find appropriate. Fortunately, I will never be invited to either one of those occasions.

Winona said...

For the love of all things... well, of all things... STOP it!!! I have always thought these were a little strange, but now that I've got baby #2 in the oven, I'm more scared of them than ever!

cottoncolors said...

I don't think I would be able to eat a cake that I had just seen a baby delivered from, even if it was a plastic one. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Custard is wrong.

I would have mixed the custard (or cream cheese) with red jelly.

(granted my friends are in film and this is what they use to make newborn babies look realistic. Yes seriously.)

Melissa Newman-Evans said...

I'd never eat it, but the 2nd cake is seriously genius!

Anonymous said...

Babies in cakes are not unheard of. In New Orleans, there's a Mardi Gras tradition to put a plastic baby inside a king cake. Whoever gets the piece with the baby has to buy the next cake.

Anonymous said...

From the baker of cake number 2...Thanks for all the comments. I actually saw quite a few pseudo compliments there, so I am very happy with the feedback. FYI, that was not foil, it was cake board cover, but it was such a heavy cake (what with the custard filling and all) that I used a wood board and the cover slid a little when the cake was tilted for photos...everybody wanted a pic. The clear bubbles are made from gumball/toy machine toy containers for anyone who is interested. And really, the Mom-to-Be and all the guests thought the cake was a ton of fun. Some of you are just too serious;)

Yolanda said...

Good afternoon. Okay the "Sexy Suds" cake explanation from the baker only served to make the cake a bigger WRECK. That is just nasty.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

The second one is quite clever, but I probably would have run from the scene if I'd seen it cut and custard oozing out.

"No cake for me, thanks. *urp* 'Scuse me, where's your bathroom?"

Allie said...

Coming from a person who dislikes children and will NEVER have any, the story behind the second cake completely grosses me out.

Anonymous said...

Grossest part of the whole post:

"HanS Solo"

I can deal with a cake that's made out to look like just about anything. Sure it may be tacky, but I'm at least intelligent enough to know its just a cake and therefore delicious.

That extra S though? Shameful, especially from someone who tries so hard to be a Sci-Fi geek.

Dani said...

Did anyone else notice that to the right side of the first cake it looks like there's an arm...but it goes into the shorts-or panties-or whatever the bottom attire is. Um...isn't that a bit...um...shall I just say odd?

Lissa said...

You know, when you posted the belly cakes yesterday I thought to myself "I think the only way I would like these is if there was a little plastic fetus inside, and whoever got it in their slice won something."

Then I decided to not comment with that, because that would just be too tasteless (hee!).

And now, today, you tell me that I'm not as trashy as I thought! Now I'm sad AND unoriginal. :(

...seriously, though, if someone insists on getting a belly cake for my hypothetical baby shower, I'm going to demand there be a fake baby baked into it. My family's just trashy enough to love it.

Callisto said...

Bahahaha! The bubble one looks like one of the breasts is going to break off and float out to sea. Like California. Only California isn't a giant breast... to my knowledge.

Scritzy said...

I've had a stomach ache for days.

Looking at these messes didn't help.

Yikes.

Word verification: horylork. The sound I make when I imagine a plastic baby being pulled out of custard with kitchen tong.

twinklescrapbooks said...

I wish I had thought of the custard/baby idea for my baby shower!
:) tina

Benjamin said...

I shudder to think what sex DISappeal would look like...

-Benjamin

AJ said...

LOL! All the comments listed and none mentioned your hilarious commentary!

I knew to expect some wrecktackular cakes, but reading your intro had me snickering up a fit (I'm afraid to laugh too loud at work--don't want them to think that they're paying me to read blogs all day long).

Kudos, Jen. You and your equally clever husband never fail to put a smile on my face :)

Me said...

THESE ARE JUST SO WRONG!!!!!

un-bride said...

Is it just me, or are the breasts in the "bubbles cake" uneven?

Also ... the baby inside part ... just ew.

Maaike said...

Someone save that poor drowning woman!

Kim said...

I can't even get over how nasty these cakes are. Blech. And custard and a plastic baby? Were people gagging, because I certainly would have.

Anonymous said...

i've come a little close to barfing while reading this site, but that suds cake has brought me the closest.

so it's a naked belly and boobs in water, says "ready to pop" which makes me think of alien, and when you carve into it (that's not a terrifying thing to imagine) there's a tiny plastic baby. the combination of these factors is making me highly ready to vomit :(

(and i'm sure this has nothing to do with my long-standing anxiety about pregnancy. no. nothing!)

Java_Jane said...

I have been enjoying your blog for a long time, almost every day I drop by for a giggle! I am a student Midwife (that's right, I help pregnant mum's bring babies into the world!) I actually saw my first C-Section today, and I didn't find it funny at all. It's major abdominal surgery, with major complications like maternal death, effects on subsequent fertility, prolonged hospitalization, decreased breastfeeding success...

Anyways, I just wanted a little rant; the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all.

Keep up the good work,
Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I was at the baby shower for the 2nd cake, it was a blast. The mom-2-be was a great sport and we all had a blast. Most of the guest already knew about the center surprise. The cake was great.

Cheryl D.

Sarah said...

I love the bubble cake, that's just classic!! Even the whole custard thing, I think is so funny! Maybe I'm a little twisted ??? But I think it's cool =)

dessertschick said...

Thank you, "Ready to Pop" baker! I was wondering what you used for the big, clear bubbles, and if they're edible. Excellent use of materials.

Given that I've made an edible bleeding brain for past Halloweens (I owe it all to Penn and Teller's "How to Play with Your Food" book), I'm thrilled with your fine use of custard too. My opinion: great job! Thanks to Jen for posting it too, along with the details.

Anonymous said...

The first cake looks more like a body builder than a pregnant woman. Everyone needs a Schwarzenegger cake that doesn't just highlight his Terminator days.

Anonymous said...

I was looking at this post but closed it when I heard the door click because I was in a public place. And who should walk in but my very pregnant colleague who was having contractions as we talked. I'm glad I closed the window, as I'm not sure how she would have reacted to these!

sendingtheclowns said...

Java_Jane said...
"...the alarming rise in C-Sections in America is a scary topic, and I don't think it's funny at all."
***********************
Not so scary as reprehensible.
This subject came up before, here, and it seems that now, apparently, Caesarians are an ELECTIVE option.
And no, there is nothing funny about doctors offering this in order to make MORE MONEY (or in order to spare the mother from having to go through an inconvenient labor). It's the fault of the doctors; no woman can demand it.
But we need to lighten up in this case--even without a disclaimer to the fact, I assume that no one was injured in the making or consuming of these cakes.
=^@@^=

Anonymous said...

aww, if only i could manipulate fondant...i think the second cake is hilarious! something i so would do.

holly said...

Hey Jeremy, the placenta wouldn't be represented by custard. A piece of liver maybe, but not custard. The custard probably represented amniotic fluid, or maybe vernix.

Personally, although I'm not a fan of belly cakes, if that's what the customer wants, these aren't too bad. I really do like the 2nd one. Love the blue and white colors and clear bubbles.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, haven't y'all heard of Mardi Gras King cakes? Jen posted a link to one not too long ago. THEY HAVE BABIES BAKED IN 'EM, PEOPLE!

I would eat a belly cake. I have eaten cakes that looked like a lot worse and it's only cake. Perhaps I just have a cast iron stomach. But I have eaten Barbie cakes and didn't think I was eating fabric. I've eaten cakes that looked like dirt and didn't think it came from the garden. I even ate a penis cake one time! I just see...cake.

moonfall86 said...

I'm used to king cakes, so plastic babies inside cakes don't bother me too much. It's the custard filling and the anatomical realism that make it creepy.

Tash said...

SO SRS you guys. The second one is hilarious. And it doesn't look badly made, aside from the weirdness of the subject matter.

Agreeing with the anons who mentioned king cake. That's the first thing that comes to my mind when anyone mentions babies and cake. Aside from "oh god where are the towels." And some king cakes have fillings, though I don't think I've tried those.

batshua said...

I swear, those bubbles conjure up horrible phrases like "bukake pregnant belly cake".

Summer said...

"Enter the Sexysuds belly cake"lol..;D
But is there a plastic baby inside?!
Oh my,i don't think if i can eat it..;D
But they are great.;D

Kathryn said...

So, how big was the plastic baby in the belly cake? Was it like a small doll or a teeny tiny King Cake baby?

King Cake babies:

http://www.mardigrasoutlet.com/catalog/437.html

--Kathryn

Jen said...

@jackie31337 - Hey, you beat me to it! I was just about to post that video as evidence why I really have no excuse for making the Han/Hans mistake anymore. (And yet, I still do.) :)

Anonymous said...

The second cake made me think of a drowned pregnant woman... with the only parts above water showing? Anyone? They both sort of grossed me out.

As for the person who said the 2nd decorator was a home decorator - so what? That person did a beautiful job, considering. I doubt people care if their cake board is covered with aluminum foil or wrapping paper or whatever. They remember the cake, not the board on which it sets.

Stillapill

Lindsey said...

Ok I admit it, I love the second cake. And I would totally ask for a baby inside it, but I guess that's just my kind of humor. I think when done right, a Belly Cake is awesome. Unfortunately they usually just turn out hideous.

jackie31337 said...

To the "Ready to Pop" baker: I started wondering about the logistics of making a dome-shaped, custard-filled cake. My best guess is that you baked flat cake(s), lined a bowl with cake, filled the cake with custard, topped it off with a layer of cake, then inverted the whole thing like a summer pudding. Am I close?

Solo said...

Was there a plastic baby inside?!Oh my...I don't think if i can eat it..;D

Tnomeralc Web Design Toys said...

Sexy bale :p

TB Tabby said...

That reminds me...when I found out about this blog last September, I had to share the pregnant belly caked with another board I frequent, and someone was inspired to write a short story about them.

http://ninpuchan.dreamhost.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?t=2651

(Nothing NSFW in the link, aside from links to this blog)

Anonymous said...

From the baker of cake 2 again...

to Jackie31337- I used a Betty Crocker bake and fill pan (www.bakenfill.com) and filled with bavarian cream flavored pudding that I had made with slightly pre-whipped heavy cream, thus the custard DID NOT OOZE when the cake was cut. Even I have limits.

to Kathryn- the baby was about 4" long soft plastic... kind of a kewpie doll looking thing.

to Un-bride- All breasts are uneven...deal with it!

For those creeped out by the "Ready to Pop?" message, it was a reference to a 5 year old nephew who, when asking a question about his Aunts' pregnancy, started his questions with "Mommy, when Aunt Tammy pops...."

Out of the mouths of babes...

Anonymous said...

the plastic baby doesn't bother me so much as... forceps? in a "funny" baby shower game? please tell me this is not how people view a normal birth!

Kisa said...

I'm really not surprised at the rate of c-sections going up..
they tried to CONVINCE me ALL 4 times I've given birth to have one. Even though I have perfectly normal, easy, pain medication, IV free births... they probably just wanted more money..

As for the cakes, I like them, the custard idea isn't bad... but maybe only because I like Custard. :P
The foreceps idea is the more *shudder* worthy idea to me. Though that's NOT at the fault of the baker at all :P

as for the ready to pop.. I thought it was cute, bubbles pop, people say they're "ready to pop" when pregnant just because you get so damned big you feel like you could burst.

People need to simmer down :P

word verification: viccies .. sort of reminds me of some random thing my Australian friend would say and make me go "what now?"

Anonymous said...

Love the strategeticallly places bubbles. But still to much skin to cut into and eat. Please tell me it wasn't red velvet.

jessica said...

I actually kinda love the bubble cake. It's wonderfully tacky. If that showed up at my shower I'd LOL.

the man-nurse said...

It's an ironic statement on American obstetrics that natural births don't lend themselves as well to kitchen cutlery! ;)

I like the plastic baby inside. Too bad there's no way to cake-ify a uterus (which seems like it would be easy) and intestines (which seems not so easy) for ob/gyn students or something.

Wait, were they forceps or salad tongs?

Kristen said...

OMG! Custard! EEEWWW If something could be gross enough NOT to make you want to eat cake (and custard in this case.) Sorry for the pun, but THAT TAKES THE CAKE!

Anonymous said...

To:The Man-nurse:

That sounded like a challenge to some talented Wreckorator out there... Maybe Jen will be getting some Uterus submissions soon.

Little Lovables said...

I KNEW it! I totally guessed on yesterdays post that this belly would have a fake baby inside.

High five!

paula said...

That belly cake is erm ... eye popping! Hilarious! I would like to have been there when they cut it open.

Here's another great idea for a cut open cake: a bloody shark..

http://www.chirky.com/2007/09/memories_in_the_baking_1.html

Sue KuKu said...

The first cake looks like someone used spray on tan badly!

Anonymous said...

Belly cakes are disgusting, period. But the placenta custard and plastic fetus should be a felony.

pixen said...

I loved both versions... and splendid ideas too! 2 Thumbs up from me :-D

Anonymous said...

OMG! I think cake #2 (belly w/bubbles)is awesome!
I think people are taking it to seriously, as long as the mom to be loved it thats what counts.
If your grossed out by custard then you should probably stay out of the bakeries!

-Kelly-

Amy said...

Wrong? Wrong? Has no one here heard of a C-section? No, they don't use kitchen tongs but they DO use something quite similar...

So they had a baby shower C-section. It's original, alright!

Lolly said...

What? Why? What?

Anonymous said...

From the baker of Sexy Suds again... I FINALLY got my copy of the book and I am absolutely THRILLED to my toes that my cake made it into the book. I know, I know...you are thinking "Why would she be proud that her cake made it into a book about bad cakes?". Well, in my humble opinion, my cake isn't there because it was badly made. Rather, it is there because it is one of the most over-the-top cakes ever! And that makes me very proud! WOO HOO!

P.S. I also noted that one of the cupcake decorators on the tour decided to make a wreckplica of my cake. AWESOME!

Ramsay said...

The problem with the bubble cake is that it doesn't really look like bubbles, so much as what got her into this situation in the first place. Just sayin'.

Cupcakes Lady said...

lol ingenious and very strange idea to put a baby in the cake. Very funny ;) xx