Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Today I am NOT Irish

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Nope, today I'm opting out of my admittedly diluted Irish heritage. I refuse to acknowledge any connection, in however small a part, to this:




Where to start? The hand-shaped pasties? The mannish pectorals? Or perhaps the coin-filled diaper?

I'm guessing this is either supposed to be a pregnant woman, a pot-bellied man, or a fat Irish cherub who dances for spare change. I've yet to decide which of those options would make the pasties least disturbing, though. [tilting head thoughtfully] Hmm. Maybe the cherub.


Erin W., I've heard of a "coin slot" before, but isn't it supposed to be in the back?
Andreanna said...

I am scared. The pregnant man with coins in his veil diaper will haunt me.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Yes, every pregnant woman's dream: Coins in her grass skirt.

Hippie Mama Kelly said...

All I can say is ewwwwwwww! I am totally disgusted by this image, and thanks to you it is now seared into my brain! Hurray for nightmares!

Erin said...

I guess I;d go with pregnant, since the belly button is slightly protruding.....but, um. Gross.

karina said...

Dear God! What IS it??? is it a pregnant, Irish, belly dancer?!?! I mean, a strangely proportioned, unappendaged, pregnant, Irish, belly dancer, of course!

Glad I'm not Irish!

Amanda said...

I'm going to vote for pregnant leprechaun stripper.

Jen said...

That's awful! And yet, I can't not laugh!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

oh.my.word.

Not to mention the hands are freakishly small, rather childlike.

Now I'm skeeved out on a whole new level.

jenifer said...

Now I had the hardest time seeing what you were seeing. To me, it's an upside down fortune teller with coins for (admittedly-oddly-placed) eyes.

Anonymous said...

I think a Leprechaun impregnated this poor woman-like-being with a rectangular baby and left his handprints on her bosom as a reminder.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Now this is one I could NOT eat.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

gigi said...

What the heck???
That one leaves us all a bit mystified.

anna said...

I've seen some really strange cakes on here before, but for some reason, this is the strangest. It is mind boggling. What could possibly be the purpose for requesting a cake even remotely similar to this?

Justfrosting said...

What the hell? I am lost for words. (Running to hide my red irish hair under a hat)

Colleen said...

That's very strange....I'm guessing it's supposed to be a beer belly but I can't figure out why someone would want a cake one.

The Office Scribe said...

Oh. My. God.

I know what it is. It's a sculture of one of the many poor white of Irish background cousins who got knocked up in their teens and then became strippers to support their kids.

Guess I know what I'll be bringing to the next family party...

Ace said...

I vote for just plain gross.

DangGina said...

The cherub idea is my fave. Even if it ain't any less disturbing, it's HILARIOUS...

heh heh...

Melanie said...

That is just wrong!!

Jenn Dixon said...

This is quite possibly the most disturbing cake I have seen in a long time.

Trish said...

Being part Irish, I always slap on something green for St. Patty's Day. I guarantee, however, that I will NOT wear anything like this!

This being a cake that is meant to be eaten, all I gotta say is EEWWW! It looks rather manequin-like in a phoney, plastic sorta way. Again, EEWWW!

Sarah Spears said...

I am so confused by this! At first I though it was an upside down head with what looks like a green shower cap on. Hmmm....

piecemeal people said...

I'm sorry, and I'm sure this took a long time to, uh, "create," but this is where you look down, shake your head, say "that's a do over" and DO IT OVER.

Lordy.

Anonymous said...

I may never be Irish again after seeing this cake-tastrophy. Well, except for Irish Cream, and Irish coffee, and... well, hopefully the wreck-erator is not Irish...

Charlotte

Carol said...

What the heck is that?!
Are we looking at it the right side up???? omg...

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Wait, I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Bra-less.

Charlotte said...

After seeing this wreck, I may never claim to be Irish again... well, maybe except for Irish Cream, and Irish coffee, and.... well, let's hope the wreckerator is not Irish.

Lorraine said...

Looks like an Irish turkey to me.

Calamity Anne said...

What the...??? No matter which way you look at it, it still doesn't make sense!

Tracy O said...

Oh, dear Lord - now I can't even admit that I'm Irish - I think it looks like a pregnant woman being assaulted by a leprechaun, but maybe that's just me (I've always thought there was something weird about little green men...)

WV- redsh - Thank God they didn't put the redsh hair on it...

Tracy O

Dominic said...

I'm not Irish either... Wales and uh... Manx. Let's go with that.

Also, I got my Mom hooked on your site!

And I'm planning on getting a Vader cake for a baby barbecue (shower) so when I do I'll send in pictures.

Sarah K said...

That is wrong on too many level. Can you find a wreck that says 'Irish I were drunk'?

thelittleredwriter said...

THAT? Is funny. (I think I just recanted my own Irish heritage.)

MetalNoir said...

I don't understand this. At. All.

Sarah, The New Girl said...

I read once that there are more people in America who claim to have some Irish heritage than there are people in Ireland...

...maybe this cake will help to rectify that.

Anonymous said...

Oh! I thought it was an upside-down jester head. I thought the "belly-button" was it's nose. Whoops!

Ruth said...

It looks a bit less disturbing if you turn it the other way up. It's still not identifiable, though.

Leslie said...

This is the ugliest thing I've seen in a LONG time. If you hadn't described it for me I wouldn't have known what it is - and now I'm sorry I do!
I'm guessing someone's baby is due on St. Patty's day or perhaps it's a cake for an overweight stripper?

Kelli said...

I have absolutly no idea what that is supposed to be!!! It is disturbing though!!

TeDiouS said...

Okay,until I read the post I really thought you had gotten the picture upside down. I figured the green diaper-like thing was supposed to be a hat, and the possibly-pregnant belly a faceless head, with the pasty-covered chest underneath...

Admittedly, either way you turn this picture, there is no way to tell for sure what it is.

Vix said...

You can re-instate your Irish heritage Jen cause no true Irishmen would ever, ever do THAT!

BTW, asked my DD6 what she thot that was supposed to be and she said (with this look of pure horror on her face) I don't know!
Pretty bad when an imaginative child can't figure it out. LOL

Becky said...

Huh. I have no comment.

Kelli said...

Seriously, what the heck is that?

linda said...

Oh. Dear. Awful.

I'm quite glad I didn't run into this creature while I was living in Northern Ireland!

Mella said...

Thank you for making me laugh today . I need it.

Anonymous said...

I think I just had a baby barf. EWWW. I think I will join you and pretend not to be Irish for awhile. At least until I can bleach that image out of my brain.

Michelle said...

All I have to say is...YUCK!

sassymolassy said...

This is quite possibly the most disturbing cake I've ever seen. WTF is going on here?!?

Carly said...

Wow, I'm almost embarrassed to say that my first thought was that this photo was taken upside down, and that it was a faceless person with coins for eyes and a green bonnet....time for more coffee I think!

Lisa said...

Wow, this is even more disturbing than some of your more recent posts. My young children were looking over my shoulder when I brought it up and I felt the need to cover their eyes even though I'm still not sure what it is!!!

J said...

Looking at the picture, I'm guessing its upside-down. Is it supposed to be a bust? (ha! bust) Doesn't make it any less creepy.

CountessLaurie said...

For the love of God what IS that?
And WHY???

Susan said...

Wow. Wow. This is honestly the first time I am totally stumped as to what this is meant to represent.

The Happy Medic said...

I'll skip breakfast, thanks.

HM

sues2u2 said...

Not only is that one of the most visually disturbing cakes I've seen but HOLY CRAP! Although did you notice how smooth the fondant was? *shudder*

Terri said...

That is just... dreadful. Somebody needs a psych consult, and if I look too long at that cake, the somebody will be ME!

April said...

Are those severed leprechaun hands? Covering the...breasts? Of a...pregnant gypsy? I have no idea what the hell is going on here, but I am not ashamed to say I'm frightened.

Jo Asakura said...

This is so wrong, so nonsensical- on so many levels, it's like a cake you'd get from a bakery in sunken R'lyeh.


wv: hylnest

hylnest fhtagn!

Lynn said...

I'd have to pass on a piece of that cake...Yuck !

Craiger said...

Is it maybe a "pot"belly of gold?!? Either way it is sooo wrong.

Sharon said...

This is why Lenny was let go by the League of Leprechauns. Public drunkenness, public indecency, and, most unforgivable of all, blatant embezzling.

Lynn said...

Jen,

While I was laughing at your description of this cake, I showed my Hubs, he thought is a pot bellied man with an Irish hat on !

I have to say, that fondant is really smooth. My guess: It's a guy torso cake pan used to make a cake for a Baby Shower that when horribly wrong...a true cake wreck !!!

Kate said...

WTF?! That's the scariest thing you've ever posted. I don't think you need to disclaim any Irish heritage. The person responsible for that monstrosity clearly hates the Irish.

Anonymous said...

This cake is all-around weird, but those green hands seem especially oddly small. At first I thought the handprints belonged to hubby, but maybe they're supposed to represent the baby's hands? It almost makes sense now...

Cathy Davis said...

I have to say that my favorite parts are the "cloudy" edges around the picture - making it all fanCEE and the heart on the "clothing". Nice.

kate said...

Wow. In the midst of all the other horror, the hacked off arms kind of fall by the wayside in a sea of disturbing elements.

Perhaps Craiger is on to something with the "Pot"belly of Gold...a pun gone horribly, horribly awry...

I would like to know the thought process behind this. I think, anyway. Did the submitter leave any more details about where this was? Or was this just hanging out in the local grocer's bakery?

Happy St. Patrick's Day indeed.

Wonder Schwermin said...

What the hell is that?

Laura Toepfer said...

Where did you find this? I mean, you didn't make it yourself to disturb the populace, right? Someone actually thought about making this, came up with a plan and a design and spent time to make it look...the way it does.

And I wish to point out that my Word Verification is "pubscom" which must mean something.

Jenn said...

This is by FAR the most disturbing cake I have seen yet. My mind keeps trying to decode it, but just can't understand what I'm seeing. Never mind the coins, what are those floating green hands!!?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

kate said...

Oh, and I like the frosting piping around the torso. It really finishes the piece. Good thing they added that.

sendingtheclowns said...

Come ON, guys! Can't you see??? It's VERY PLAINLY an...ahhh...one of those...YOU know...(it's right on the tip of my mind here-gimme a sec-)...uhhh...
OH! Yeah--it's a nice slab of corned beef--what the Irish always love to serve on Saint Patty's Day. Right? With a clever garnish of fresh shamrock. 'Kay?
No, no-- Wait! I've got it--it's a prank! Yeah-those little tricksters (Leprechauns) are always trying to pull something on us mortals. How much you wanna bet that they slipped into a morgue, and when the folks weren't looking, made off with part of body that was being autopsied.
Shark attack victim, maybe.
Yah?

Millie said...

Whoever made this should realize that the sweet white scallops around the edge don't do much to distract us from the horror that is this cake.

Why do people even make torso-shaped cakes? Why does the torso cake mold exist? It's so creepy. What about my mother the amputee? What is she supposed to think?

Missy said...

The only reason I am commenting is because of the wvotd, which is:

undrosag: it's what happens when your undros are too big (as evidenced by this cake.)

bigSIS said...

WHat is it with all the headless cakes? They all disturb me. Why make a cake without a head? The way I see it, if you can't make the head, find a new idea. Ick. All around, ick!

kara said...

Oh my god I hope this isn't a baby shower cake.

Laura Moffitt said...

This will haunt my dreams forever. Who thought all this up, and who was encouraging that person!! They should be shot for such a travesty.

msyendor said...

Sarge! Sarge! WTF? What'd that effing Leprechaun do to you?

jackie31337 said...

The Courteous Chihuahua said Wait, I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Bra-less.

I nominate Courteous Chihuahua as the winner of this comments thread for that one.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I've finally figured it out. Not the cake, but my own heritage: I'm decidedly SCOTTISH, not Irish (I was never quite certain before today).

As for that monstrosity pretending to be a cake -- I dunno, but it kind of looks like a three-eyed alien harem dancer's head to me...

Anonymous said...

Belly dancing pregnant transvestite??? I can't get over the weird hands and the lack of obvious pregnant lady bosom (having been there, I know)... it's like they made a cake using a Ken doll as a model and then made it pregnant. And a stripper. Eww.

Hyena Overlord said...

The leprechauns pot belly of gold. Yuck...reminds me of that pregnant man on Oprah

wv...patio..really...there's an Irish man in my backyard. His name is Patty O'Furniture

Hungarican Chick said...

Nothing like a shamrock happy-trail to get that irish blood a-boilin'.

It's the bosom that suprises me most. What do you think... a nice full AA cup, maybe?

It's nice to see a tacky objectification-cake give a shout-out to the less-endowed ladies for a change.

Trevor said...

Seriously, Jen, I think you have it all wrong! Look at the picture upside down and tell me what you think! It's a veil, the coins make eyes and earrings and the hands... Well they're um... Okay, so it's not perfect, but really , look at that thing upside down.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm completely with the people who thought it was an upside-down faceless person with a green hat. Assuming that's not what it really is, it's amazing how much it fails to get its message across!

Aviatrix said...

Jenifer and Carly see it the way I do. Turn your screen upside-down and you get a blank-faced individual with coins for eyes and little vestigial T-Rex-like hands held out in front.

Sorry, no insight on what it means nor why anyone would request this.

Amy said...

This is wrong. Totally wrong. LOL

~Amy B

Doublebanker said...

Gotta commit to the irishness...?

DB

Confession Master said...

That's just weird.

pinkwhiskey said...

why would they do that to a pregnant woman? i want to cry and get indignant about her ruined baby shower just looking at it! boobs to small and close together, hands awkwardly small and positioned and the shamrock modesty down below is REALLY too much!

Tammy said...

All I can do is sit here and make a O_o face.

*Homer-esque shudder*

kalos_eidos said...

I think whoever made that wrecktactular monstrosity should maybe lay off the green beer. I wanted to laugh at it, but I was too horrified!

Tracy said...

The cake is awful but what's worse is that side scrolling banner ad invading the bottom of my browser on your page.

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

That is WAY worse than the orange torso.

Anonymous said...

I just kept saying....
What IS that?

I'm so glad I had no prior experiences that would help me
identify that...uhh...that.

Beth (once an innocent)

BreeAnn said...

Its also a bit frightening that the stomach isn't round, but has a weird corner jutting out. And the white border piped around the top half of the body? These dismembered torso cakes really freak me out!

Kristen said...

For some reasons, the fact that the upper arms are larger than the...umm...breasts is the part that's really weirding me out.

The teeny-weeny bit of Irish in me wants to go all stereotypical on the designer. (Not necessarily the wreckerator...anyone can have bad execution of an idea. But the person responsible for the idea needs a good solid shillaleghing...however you choose to spell it.)

Alix said...

You forgot to mention the pretty lacey white piping around the top of the decapitated and dismembered torso - but not the diaper area.

Amazing what some people will do for a living.

Amanda said...

It might be a Mardi Gras cake...

Kickassninja said...

Maybe it is upside down?
It is definitely less revolting that way

Ted S. (Just a Cineast) said...

My first thought was that there was green, gold, and "coins" that looked black: the three colors on the Jamaican flag.

It took me a few looks before I saw the shamrock; I thought at first it was just a heart covering the female genitalia. Still creepy, though....

Darla said...

LOL, that cake is wrong on so many levels. I'm not Irish today either.

Rachel said...

The source of some pregnancies: someone putting money in your pants and groping your chest.

KritterBugg said...

Whoever made this obviously had too much green beer to drink... GROSS!

DK

Anonymous said...

If you flip it over, it makes some sense...but it's not much better

Scritzy said...

That ... that ... THING!?!?!

It looks like something that should be in cold storage at Roswell.

Word verification: ablex. If you're ablex to see something in that thing, you have better eyes than I do.

Katie Alender said...

Does not compute... This is horrific!

Kaycee said...

WTF is that? Oooh, do you guys remember the Leprechaun movies? Creepy.

Cheryl said...

It's disturbingly ridiculous!

peewee said...

I don't even get this AT ALL. This is by far the weirdest creepiest (GREEN HANDS!) cake ever. And for your site? That's really saying something!

Anonymous said...

HAHA! I thought it was upside down; a faceless head with the gypsy scarf.

dawnspring said...

And this is why you drink the Bailey's -after- you decorate the cake!


I abhor baby belly cakes with all my soul. This pic will now replace the scary alien hand pregger cake as my example of why I will never make one.

FreedomFirst said...

My first thought was, "Those are the smallest hands AND the smallest boobs I've ever seen on a pregnant woman."

Anonymous said...

It's like the St. Patrick's Day version of "Boxing Helena."

Anonymous said...

There's an unmistakable bump for a belly button there. So this is a torso. Now to figure out the torso of what? I highly doubt it's all that innocent, whichever way you look at it. That or I can't get my mind out of the gutter. =D

Sir said...

Wh-what did I just see?

Belligerent Elephant Caught Kicking You said...

This is more disturbing than the alien hand of doom. Wow.

Heidi 'n' Jeff said...

I like that your mind goes to the same conclusions as mine...although I didn't think of the cherub angle.

I wonder what flavor it is.

I think the word verification is actually dead on today:
horifics

Jessica said...

Truly disturbing

Maeve said...

This is by far the best (and therefore worst) wreck on this site.

Is this some kind of sick baby shower cake? A baby shower that somehow involves a leprechaun groping the mother-to-be while stuffing coins in her underthings?

geelizzie said...

You know, if you turn the picture upside down, it's not quite as bad. It sort of looks like a head wearing a lucky st patricks day scarf.

Emma said...

This is the first time I've been genuinely scared by a cake on this site. With most of the wrecks, there is a way of understanding the (often twisted) logic that led to them being created. But this ... *shakes head in disbelief*

Lisa said...

I thought it was a roast chicken cake. Yeesh. Nightmare fodder.

Freya said...

I'm pretty sure if you put the picture upside down, we'll se a whole new picture (maybe not better, but at least a new one!)

Calantha said...

What in the name of sanity is that monstronsity?!

flavolgal said...

My mom and grandma were from Glasgow where you almost needed a translator into English. The only thing I could think of when I saw this is their expression, "God bless the mark." It was used to describe someone or something hideous or ugly, but trying to make it alright. Kind of akin to a Southern woman saying, "Bless his heart."
God Bless The Mark!

Ellie said...

lol !!!!! love it!! hilarious!!

Angie said...

Holy moo. What the hell is that thing? Who's boobs are that close together on their torso, leaving all of that extra room on either side? If they are boobs, that is.

Autumn said...

Maybe the white piping around the top = the cherub wings...? I have to say, like others have mentioned, upside-down it looks less creepy, albeit still bizarre. What a horrifying cake.

Schuerman Family said...

I'm thinking it's upside down - it makes so much more sense if you flip it - really (can it get any worse)

Sarah Schwerin said...

Seriously strange cake! Starting to wonder what the hell pops out when you cut it open? Lucky charms? :P
So horrifying!

beth said...

At least the shamrock's in its' proper place....

Crafty Chipmunk said...

I think the hands are actually supposed to be baby hand silhouettes. Um...I'm not sure if that makes them more or less disturbing. And I think the Giant pecks are supposed to be "her" arm stumps.

Really they should stop making headless torso cakes.

ChatRabbit said...

What on God's green earth is it?? Begorrah!

Brianna! said...

Wait... what is it?!

Holly said...

I've stared at it for a full minute. What on earth is that supposed to be?!?

khek said...

If I see a leprechaun this month, I'm running as fast as I can in the opposite direction...obviously, those creepy little guys don't fool around jinxing people!

Maybe you should put a second picture turned around beside the first one, and have people vote on which way the cake was made to be viewed. It actually looks better if the "belly" is a head!

Rose Ann said...

OMG! What is this? I still can't figure it out. I love cake, but I wouldn't be able to eat this because it's so disturbing.

PGP said...

My guess it it's Upside Down and Minus the face.

ali said...

you should be worried about her wings...aaah

mrs.paroo said...

well i guess the irish can sell anything right???...maybe not

Sunny said...

*blink*

Um...

*blink*

Lulubelle B said...

Enough with these disembodied pregnant belly cakes!! Am I the only one who sees Tleilaxu axlotl tanks??

Yénifer said...

What in the name of time is that supposed to be?

Rochelle said...

I have rotated my laptop 360 degrees and, I still can't figure out if those are pasties or maybe it is holding it's crotch. I need answers!

MiniKat said...

For the love of the gods I hope it's a cherub!

ern said...

lol...i am still laughing about craiger's comment of "a pot-belly of gold"... *snicker*

WV: abiltr... i do not have the abiltr to decipher this catastrophr

Sagerocky said...

I think it looks upsidedown. If you turn it the other way it looks like a fortune teller with gold coins for eyes.

twinklescrapbooks said...

I could never eat this--even with my eyes closed!
tina

Rebecca Rodgers said...

I *may* have nightmares about this one!

Miranda said...

...I'm Sicilian. I'm exempt from this.

Viewtiful_Justin said...

This is horrifying and terribly misguided.

Yarnhog said...

Who wouldn't find, a limbless, decapitated, pregnant torso appetizing? Bring on the ice cream!

Tig said...

I would really like for the wreckerator to come forward and clear up for everyone exactly what that thing is supposed to be. Although, if we all knew the honest-to-god truth, it may be even scarier than some of the speculations....GULP!

Norkio said...

WTF?????????

Anne O'Nymous said...

Oh, no! It's the attack of the headless bellydancing Buddha statue that people put money on in Chinese restaurants for good luck. The March "Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day" edition. I don't know whose hands are on his chest, and it's just as well.

(Calling in an extra order of brain bleach.)

Anonymous said...

Wow! It it appears this cake was modeled after the torso of a pregnant leprechaun stripper.

EasyComfortFoods said...

Hahaha simply amazing!

Rebecca said...

Totally BIZARRE!!!

Empress of All Stash Addicts said...

Wow, I'm ashamed to be Irish. That has to be the worst thing I've seen in awhile. Pregnant, green and gold coins? It's the Irish,octomom, surrogate cake?

Carly #2

Miss Fae said...

Nice pearl necklace.

-Fae

Tish said...

I....what?? I can't even formulate sentences to express how I feel about this cake. Seriously.

Garland said...

It looks like Rydia from Final Fantasy IV standing on her head

Anonymous said...

It's the Pot Belly O'Gold, with surgical gloves suggesting some serious life-style changes are in order.

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow. I thought it was upside down, making it a sort of Irish corpse's head, with some kind of green headrag and the coins supposed to be on the closed eyelids. But then I guess the green hands would have been crossed on its chest.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure this isn't someone sitting on a green-handed pregnant woman's face? And the green-handed pregnant woman is holding their rear end? Or the sitter may have green hands tattoos.

Mama Mandy said...

Dear lord, I am crying with laughter here!!!!

Melissa said...

It's actually a very old Irish tradition to place a coin in a baby's hand. It's supposed to bring the child good luck. I'm guessing that's what the cake means although I assure you there is no such tradition about putting the coins in the pregnant mamma's skirt.

Mary said...

I think this is supposed to be either:

1 - A baby shower cake with several attempts at giving it an Irish/St Patrick's Day theme.

2 - A belly dancer cake that is supposed to have a fat belly, as some say "real" belly dancers are supposed to have, which unintentionally looks pregnant instead of, um, flabby.

Either way, I think the small hands and manly torso are the result of poor execution/available supplies rather than part of the design.

Ann-Marie said...

i just showed this to my 7 y/old daughter and she says "It looks like a bladder"

Anonymous said...

pregnant, cross dressing, Irish diaper wearing stripper cake...just what we needed today!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure it's a man with a beer belly....which would be fitting for St. Patrick's Day...Just sayin'

M-Croc