No, seriously. Have a ball:
"Look at all the extra care the baker took in crafting this lovely...round...spherical...ball-like thing for your birthday! That random capitalization and uncrossed 't' really add to the post-modernistic feel, too, don't you think?
"Plus, the pink dots add [jazz hands] pizazz!"
Angie C, you spin me right 'round.
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How do you cut it? Hmmmm...
What is that? What is it sitting in inside the box? Could there be any more ashtrays on that table?
Yikes.
Not to mention the full ashtray and pack of smokes really class it up.
What was this supposed to be?
I want the "center of the earth" slice!!!
Daily Gif Blog
DB
What is is sitting on??? Is it a white towel????
Oh, Lordy, I am picturing the jazz hands coming out of the sides of this cake (with really long skinny fingers)!!!
Tracy O
Your birlhday is not usually celebrated with cake... at least where I come from.
What's up with the tissue paper or stuff in the box with the cake? And is that really a professional cake?!?
Did they get their money back? I can't imagine getting something that looked like that, and actually agreeing to pay for it. Catastrophe!!
I see plenty of ashtrays and some cigarettes....but perhaps the person who ordered the cake smoked too much of something else and specifically told them "Don't capitalize the B on birthday and don't cross the t".
Okay...probably not, but I tried.
i don't think they're pink dots. I think they're pink mentos. Which makes my stomach turn considering that taste combo. Buttercream icing + strawberry mentos...yuck.
I think the cigarettes and ashtrays laying around speak volumes....nuff said.
why did they have to rip the box top off I wonder??? I guess maybe they were REALLY excited...
It looks a bit like a cake that started out as a single breast, but last minute the customer called frantically screeching "stop the breasts!" at the very last second before anatomical details were added. Someone clearly missed the class on cake basics. Trim the peaks, flip over the top layer cake for a lovely, even finish and level writing surface. But boob shaped cakes are just so much more entertaining right?
I was thinking that all the ashtrays and the cigarettes added a nice backdrop for the cake. AND...it's a good thing it's in a box...the frosting would have slid into those ashes. EWWW!
I especially love how the lid of the cake box is torn off, like they couldn't get to that cake soon enough!!!
Oh Magic,inexplicable ball 'o cake from the land of Walmartamier or disgruntledgrocerystorebaker-shire please I have but three questions for you:
1. Why are you here? Did someone summon your Magnificent presence or where you mearly called into service by mistake?
2. Would you think me less than a lady if I was to try to fit your entire glorious, squishy, cakeiness into my mouth at once? While you may be the size of my entire head, this only tempts me more.
3. Can we do that now?
Looks like the Wilton Giant Cupcake pan, which the decorator couldn't figure out how to write on. It also doesn't fit in a standard cake box, since it's too tall. It's also rather narrow around the base.
Flumoxed.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
I'm a bit grossed out thinking of the ashes in that ashtray getting on the cake. Having said that...have you ever seen someone go pick up a cake from the baker's display case and NOT have said baker write anything on it? Maybe they think, "hey, I can do it with a tube of store bought gel all by myself." But, that doesn't really make any sense here because this cake is obviously some sort of special order...soooo that means that the skillful baker who cracked this one out, also showed off their handwriting skillz, in black. Yeah, that's about right.
Wreck ball. White tissue paper. Torn pink cardboard. Is that a shoe box? I want to see a receipt.
Did someone drop the ball on this design? Get it? LOL
~Amy B
Today is my birthday!
Ooh, ooh, can I lick the frosting off all the tissue paper stuffed around it? Can I, can I?
I want one.
Cara said...
(1) "...that doesn't really make any sense..."
Honey, NONE of it makes any sense.
That's not what they were going for with this.
(2) "...this cake is obviously some sort of special order..."
Yeah! That's so obvious.
(3) "..that means that the skillful baker who cracked this one out, also showed off their handwriting skillz, in black."
Okay--I will agree with you on this one. I see a frat house full of inebriated (and possibly high), sugar-craving party animals who simply wanted to do something SPECIAL for their Bud on his birthday. Why the tissue paper? Why the pink box? (Why the half-of-a-basketball shape?) Who cares? What I want to know is why all the fighting over who gets to open the box (evidenced by the torn cardboard), when no one has even bothered to cut the damn thing yet? STILL admiring the script???
("Dude, get away from the cake--I need more pictures! This is AWEsome!")
I really wish we knew what it was this person ordered.
"Hello! I'd like a cake."
"Done. Wait...sorry, this is my first day. I feel like I'm supposed to ask for details. Umm. Let's see, here. Well, do you want it to be flat?"
"HA! Good one. Do I want it to be flat. It's funny because it's cake. What other shape could it be?"
"Round?"
"Haha! Oh yeah, make that baby round."
Love your blog! Can't wait for the book!
The pink dots look like pink Smarties to me. Not MUCH of an improvement on pink Mentos, but an imporvement none the less.
My 6 year old son could write Happy Birthday better than this example of penmanship AND I'd bet he'd get all the right grammatical necessities in place, too!
How sad. As someone who makes round cakes w/out the help from a Wilton pan, I'm totally disgusted.
That's seriously professional??? Wow. Just. Wow. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if one of my cakes turned out that way, but a baker? Amazing.
I think those might be M&M's. I can't believe a professional baker did that. Who put's tissue paper in the cake box? I call shenanigans!
I like the way they just ripped the lid off the box... they must have really anxious to get to that cake. Maybe all the smoking gave them the munchies!
At least he could have given this 'Birlday' ball a nicer colour, don't you think?
Nice thing though that tissues were given with the cake, that saves money!
The ashtrays look more disgusting to me than the cake. But that aint saying much!
Happy Birlhday!
I am just glad there is no navel and no baby emerging from this one!
So much is wrong here.... it makes my head hurt so I am going to stop trying to figure it out now.
this has really inspired me.. all my life I wanted to own a bakery and I never thought I would be good enough ... seeing that someone got paid for this has made me realize I could do it too... and possibly just as well... I can't wait... Thanks Cake Wrecks for making my dreams come true
rainbows and sunshine
oh and flowers too
There are no less than 3 ashtrays on that table. Let's face it...none of these people can actually taste anything anyway, so it doesn't matter what the pink things on the cake are.
I had trouble concentrating on the cake because the whole atmosphere around it was so......ewwww.
Judging by the ashtrays, I know exactly what this cake was supposed to be:
It's a bowling ball! The pink circles were supposed to be finger holes (fail).
I think this cake stems from a simple misunderstanding. "Do you want a square cake?- No, I want it round."
*blinks*
......
......
*blinks*
My 5 year old could decorate a cake better. o.O
I gotz it!
Happy birlday -> Happy b-IRL-day!
It's obviously a cake for a an internet junkie who is off for one day of RL, as a generous and well-meaning gesture from his/her fellow nerds. See? At least the inscription makes perfect sense now.
I'm thinking tumor.
First of all professional just means they charged money for it. That's all. And as for the tissue paper. Did they seriously think that was going to keep the cake from being ruined?
Gawrsh!Hyuck! if we just put this this tissue type paper in the box then all that icing and stuff will be right dern safe, Hyuck!
I like the little tissue paper nest, but it looks like there is a chunk of styrofoam on the lower left side. To hold the cake up? To indicate cake flavor? To indicate cake texture? To add more mystery to the whyness of this cake?
WV: Joyinnor--there was no joyinnor happiness at this party; the cake rolled away.
Did the creator think the super-long Y tails would jazz it up?
"They won't notice this is actually paper mache! Everyone will think it's too breathtaking to devour!"
Yes... breathtaking...
a crowning baby's head would just about complete this experience.
I have to remember to never, ever, ever put pictures of my cake where you could ever, ever find them. I have some winners but there are few, a few that make this one look lovely. Hahahahaha.
It's EPCOT, people! Big round white golf ball thingy, you know - EPCOT!
This is astounding. There's so many things that are magical about the surrounding area (ashtrays, random hand in the top left, torn box) that the cake has to really work to not get lost in the clutter. Luckily it's, um, unique enough to stand out.
OK, apparently, we've all missed the great cultural signifigance of this cake. It's not a half-basketball nor is it an aborted attempt at a boob cake. It's OBVIOUSLY a celebration of the great 5th grade igloo-building project. You know, with sugar cubes and stuff. And that's not tissue paper surrounding the cake. It's powdered sugar mounds, representing the 4 entrances of the um, igloo, and the er, 4 elements of earth and wind and...
Not buying it? Me neither. It just seemed a little less sad than a boob-shaped birlday cake.
Check out the smokes...must be a bowling ball! They could have used the pink dot things to make the finger holes....
Maybe you're supposed to look into it and see your future.
I so wish I had your focus. Lots of those cakes look YUMMY.
Jenn, I L.O.V.E. this blog- whenever I get frustrated or stressed about something, I click on your page and voila- I feel so much better! :) Even when I start out in a good mood, seeing atrocious cakes makes me even happier! You rock! ;) Keep it up!
~Serena :)
Wow. It could be a big ball of happiness... but maybe it should hold a cleaning fairy. Those ashtrays are gross! Cake no longer appealing!
i read you every day and today happened to be my birthday... it was like you and your happy birlday ball-cake was talking to me! :)
Maybe it'll hatch and a happy Birl will pop out?
Gotta get me one of those happy Birls.
Upon returning to read comments and looking at it again, it makes me crave a Hostess Sno-ball.
mmmm pink smarties
At least it's not a pregnant lady's stomach.... *shiver up spine*.
When I see this, I think it's a gag cake... you know, one of those ones with the balloon in the middle of it, and covered over with whipped creme so that when the birthday boy goes to cut the cake, the knife hits the balloon and it explodes and puts icing all over him.
Do you think they have enough ashtrays?
Lol- I made a cake for my son that looked kinda' like that when he was 8 and in the throws of Pokemon fever. He wanted a Pokeball cake. I baked it in two parts in a steel mixing bowl and put the two halves together. As I recall he wanted green frosting. I skipped the writing, and it was a crazy mess (sans cigarettes) but it made him happy. Sorry I don't have a wrecky photo to share.
how did you do it>>?? The Society to Save Endangered Species was formed by Fred Smilek and two of his colleagues; Charlie Mack & Jonathan Korny. Fred Smilek stays active in raising awareness for this cause. [www.fredjsmilek.com]
http://www.wired.com/images/article/magazine/1512/1512_essay_moon_f.jpg
inspired from maybe?
it's the wilton cupcake pan gone very wrong. i don't know why it's surrounded by tissue paper though. maybe they hid more camels in the cake box as a "surprise gift".
What do you do when you show up at the bakery and the cake looks like this? Demand a refund and return home with cake? No cake isn't really an option...
Anyway. If you do have a bad luck story involving a cake, enter it at YourFatChance.com for a chance to win a free vacation. I entered, but I can't win since I work there... but wish I could. Who wouldn't want a free 1 week vacation?!