Thursday, February 12, 2009

Valentine's Variety

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Because hearts and roses and bears are SO last week, here are some... interesting... alternatives.

For the cat lover: a neon pink, vaguely feline amorphous blob, sporting what I can only assume is some kind of euphemism:

"I'm 'purrin' for you"? Do I want to know, Gabrielle H.?
(And Victoria, Anna, & Benjamin!)

For the Star Wars fan: a cake showing Admiral Ackbar's softer side:

"Don't believe him, Haley B.; it's a trap!"

And for you non-Star Wars geeks, this is Admiral Ackbar:


For the H.P. Lovecraft fan: a Valentine's Cthulhu:

What's a Cthulhu, you ask? Eh, wellll, it's a kind of gigantic hideous tentacled thing, known to be the epitome of evil and horror. And as you can see from Melissa O.'s photo, it also comes in plush!

Speaking of plush...

I don't know what this is, Aliza E., but I think I want one. Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess.

And here's a Valentine's treat for the...uh...emotionally constipated?


That's it, Ted S., let it allll out.


Well, it's no fungus cake, but it'll do: I'm skipping breakfast.
Kate said...

i think the pink "fuzzy" thing is actually cute. However I refuse to eat the turd butterfly.

Nannie said...

I think it's a butterfly, I hope it's a butterfly. OU never mind, not on my cake please.

V. Nicharico said...

LOL, I love the pink furry monster thing, but the rest are just BAD!

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The last cake is very timely...our little puppy pooped in his cage and my husband acted like it was the end of the world...Guess what he's getting for Valentine's Day???


WV: munchuf - I can't wait to see husband's face when he takes a "munchof" his Valentine's cake.

AKAinNJ said...

The pink fluffy one kind of reminds me of a Furby.

Jessica said...

Love this site :-).

That pink plushie cake makes me think of a muppet, maybe the Valentine's Day edition featured in never-before-seen clips to be released in DVD boxset form.

Fluffy Cow said...

Nice to know that Valentine's is not all hearts and flowers. Um... Yeah.

Mallory said...

What were those things? Butterflies? Flying Turdlets? Either way, here comes MY breakfast...

Angie P said...

nothing like something resembling poop for your valentine!!!!

The Archduchess said...

I think the pink fuzzy thing is a Valentine's Cookie Monster.

Pesky Settler said...

Keeping with the sci-fi theme... that pink puff is.. a Tribble of course!

Zorilita said...

The Star Wars one reminds me more of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom gives the girl cat one of the mice as part of a gift.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Ugh, that green frosting! Your tongue would look like grass was growing on it for weeks.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Baking and Mistaking said...

I think you'll remember thats not the first poop we've seen on cake here....

sergeilovestonya said...

My Ukrainian fiance once called Admiral Ackbar the "fish captain" and I said "oh, you mean Admiral Ackbar?" and the group we were with all turned to me simultaneously in shock at my apparent nerddom. I was shocked that people didn't know his name! Of course, this group also didn't know that Chewbacca was a wookie...

But I digress! The green culthu is amazingly gross. WOW.

Cheadle Chick said...

I think the "poop" is an attempt at a butterfly too! Ick.

MissCritta said...

Cthulhu cake! Love it!!!! (And want the plush Cthulhu, too!)

Auntieshoque said...

I suspect that it's actually supposed to be a monkey holding a heart on that one cake, and not Admiral Ackbar. The thing on the cake looks like it has pawpads on the bottom of its feet, and I'm pretty sure that the Admiral wouldn't have those, since he's apparently fish or amphibian based.

Which makes the cake kinda cute - I'm a sucker for anything with monkeys on it. It's still a wreck, but it's a cute wreck :)

Amy said...

Nothing says "I love you" like a turd butterfly.

Just found your blog...thank you for the laughs!!

Renee said...

Ok that little pink fuzzy thing...so freaking cute! I have no idea why, but I want to snuggle it!!

Trevor said...

That pink think must have taken awhile to pipe! Someone put some work into, well, whatever it is.

I'm not buying the Star Wars cake though. I think that is a tad of a stretch. However, the Cthulu cake is just awesome (well, it would be awesome if it were really SUPPOSED to be the Great One).

and the turd? Ugh. I'm glad I'm done with breakfast.

Michelle said...

Ooooh - the pink fluffy one looks like a Tribble in love!! Umm - the rest? Not so much....gag!

kara said...

I would actually love to have the pink fuzz ball muppet-esque one. I don't think I could stomach all the pink icing though.

Anonymous said...

Love the Daffy Duck/Bugs Bunny reference "I'll hug him and squeeze him and name him George." Nothing's cuter (or scarier) than a 'plush' pink cake with heart cookie teeth!!

Dinner/Dishes/Drinking said...

I think the second one is an attempt at a "bear" or a "mouse"

Anonymous said...

The pink thing reminds me of a cross between a muppaphone and fizzgig...

http://tinyurl.com/muppaphone
http://tinyurl.com/bljyxx

Kinda cute in a "Let me eat it and get a sugar high" way.

karmapearl said...

I told my husband that if we ever get a dog, I get to name it Cthulu.

He said I was fired from naming pets forever.

Maybe I'll make him a cake like that out of spite.

n i l e e y said...

the last cake...hmm....love me, love my poop?

tellicherry said...

Thanks for the Bugs Bunny reference...you sure are wascally!

Callahan said...

That cat cake looks a little like the boneless cat, Choo-Choo Bear, from the misanthropic sit-comic Something Positive.

Choo-Choo Bear would be a great theme for a CCC, since he can take any shape...

Lisa said...

I thought the Admiral Ackbar cake kinda looks like an albino ET. I love the fuzzy cake with heart eyes! So funny!

Carina Olsen (Kat's Photography) said...

I think the plush thing is a "LOVE BUG" I remember getting one that gitters around on the floor as a kid.

Commentator said...

"Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess."

Or maybe prop your feet up on it whilst watching TV?

Alison Hunter said...

The fuzzy pink one looks like a "Tribble" from Star Trek - would fit nicely into the Sci-Fi valentine theme with Admiral Akbar ...

I know next to nothing about Star Trek but I do remember the tribbles - check it out.
http://www.st-files.de/stgalaxis/anderevoelker/tribbles/images/tribble_ds9k7_kirkluke2.jpg

propmaven said...

I think they're cuddle-bugs... get it! =)

Deborah said...

My theory on the cat is it's actually a "Purim" cake and is one of those misunderstood phone call cakes.

And I'm sticking to it.

Judy said...

I think the pink fuzzy one is a valentine "tribble".

Mella said...

The green thing makes me sick

D.B. Echo said...

The hardest thing for me about the Cthulhu cake would be shaking the idea that his smiling face is flanked by two containers of onion dip.

El Comodoro said...

I can only imagine what gets stained shocking pink with that first cake. Get a room.

WV: Numbi - Lack of sensation in your tongue after contact with one gallon of Red #5.

Nihilady said...

Wow... I really wish I had ate before I checked in this am...

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I wondered when the "turd cakes" would re-enter the scene. Here is my answer...

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Wow, that decorator really nailed Admiral Ackbar! The giant side-eyes, the mouth that goes up in the middle, it's all perfect!

And that green frosting on the cthulu cake....I could not see myself picking that up to take a bite. Yuck. But at least it's not non-dairy whipped topping, I guess.

Oats said...

I'd name the cakes:
"Wanna see my err... kitty?"
"There is Dekon in the middle layer! Trust me."
"Have you seen my rendition of Octopussy?"
"Honey, I'm sorry but I had to give them your other slipper"
and
"Bullet-Poop with Butterfly Wings"

ern said...

Before I read the text, I also admitted that I loved "George" and wanted to take him home.

But it took me about 4 glances, squinting and muttering to myself, until I realized the plop on the last cake was supposed to be a butterfly.

Also, will someone PLEASE tell me how to pronounce "cthulhu"...what am I supposed to do with that?

Zana said...

If the pink fluffy thing isn't a tribble, it must be a Pygmy Puff! 8-)

eilbeback said...

Suddenly, I feel less lonely and more grateful for my single status this Valentine's Day. At least I won't get poop on a cake!

DangGina said...

"The emotionally constipated."!!! I'm laughing so hard at that one!

The bright pink "kitty" is interesting. What's even more interesting is that the fact that the whites of it's eyes are also hideously pink. And that disturbs me as much as the rest of the cake.

Oh yeah, and the furry pink thing...whatever it is...is cute.

Zana said...

That pink thing's just gotta be a Pygmy Puff!

Mel, Foxtail Farm said...

Oh, the pink thing is a Weepul! I remember those from elementary school in the 80s.

Kelly said...

Love the Bugs Bunny reference in your post. That pink thing is quite cuddly!

Sharon said...

Heh, I think the first cake cake was suppose to be 'I'm purrfect for you', but someone stepped back, took a good look, and couldn't bring themselves to go through with it.

The third one looks it's suppose to be butterfly that started out as a snowman drawn by a four year old with a love for green crayons...uhm, yeah, let's go with that.

I like the shag rug monster or the koosh ball monster cake, whatever it is.

I'm sure the original cake design the new hire was trying to copy looked lovely, but there's no excuse for a turd butterfly. Good lord, get a plastic knife and do a little 'plastic surgery' before you put that thing out in front of the public eye.

Amy said...

The pink fuzzy thing reminded me of something off some TV show aimed at the under 5 group.
The last one was just gross, and part of the reason I'm slightly Anti-Valentines.

Do you have any with hearts and skulls? LOL
~Amy B

MJS said...

While it's not a cake - yet - this Cthulhu would be much easier to translate to cakedom. Perhaps with cupcakes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sigsegv/40492213/

Scritzy said...

Well, it's obvious to me that the pink furry one was made for Breast Cancer Awareness. Even Cookie Monster will turn pink for a good cause.

The others ... yikes.

By the way, I've always wondered: How do you pronounce Cthulhu?

Word verification: plonagra. These decorators should be sent over plonagra falls in a barrel.

NipponElla said...

I don't know, the love bug cake (the pink, hairy one w/ cookies in its mouth) is kind of cute. I would buy it...

...though I'm also heavily medicated at the moment. Perhaps they should put "do not shop for cakes" on this bottle too.

Dani said...

Awww cumon I kinda like the pink fuzy one. Although I'd probably keep it as a pet rather than eat it.

Katie said...

Um, these cakes definitely DO NOT make the feel the love...

But I am showing some love on my blog! In honor of Valentine's Day, I did a post (http://myfirstyearasawallace.blogspot.com/2009/02/in-honor-of-fact-that-its-valentines.html)on blogs that I *love* and you're on that list! Thanks for keeping me laughing!

Christy Bishop said...

ummmm, I'm not a doctor but by the looks of that "poo" someone should get themselves checked out!
;)

Barbara Jo said...

I think the pink one is Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter, from MST3K:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwMPZmtpWIE

thezeninyou said...

OMG...it looks like...oh no forget it! Awful! And the octopus? Nothing says I love you like an octopus cupcake cake!

p jane said...

Hmmmm...I thought the Admiral Ackbar was a Dancing Bear, as favoured by Grateful Dead fans. (I called them Dead Bears until hubby fussed at me.)

That buTURDfly looks a lot like the hairball our cat gacked up this morning.

WV: ressept - how some wreckorator might hose up Aretha's anthem..."R*E*S*S*E*P*T..."

Miranda said...

I love the Cthulhu cake and the fuzzy pink monster! To me those aren't wrecks...it's just that they're targeted to a specific customer base. ;)

That is not dead which does eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die.

As for the rest: Oh dear. :/

Was Admiral Ackbar intended to be a teddy bear or a white monkey?

jackie31337 said...

I Love Baby Quilts! said... Wow, that decorator really nailed Admiral Ackbar!

Too bad that's not what they were going for. ;)

Also, am I a bad person for thinking of that last cake as a "bu-turd-fly"?

Galadriel said...

Add my vote for "tribble" :)

Toriisen said...

I think #4 is a love bug. Very cute. I want to squeeze it. And the butterfly cake does not inspire fuzzy feelings

StuffCooksWant said...

Wasn't that Lenny in "Of Mice and Men" that said "I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George"?

They should have written on the poo cake, so everyone would know that it was supposed to be about deep love and adoration. Something like "I am devoted to poo" or maybe "I am poossionate about you".

MissCritta said...

I say "cuh-thoo-loo". But I'm from Alabama, and we're notorious for our "interesting" pronounciations.

C said...

For how to pronounce Cthulhu (or what it is, for those who don't know):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu
In short, it's from an alien language and no human has the vocal apparatus to render it accurately. Anyway, it's likely you wouldn't want to render it accurately. It would probably just make you go insane or something. Dead Cthulhu waits, dreaming, and trust me, you do NOT want to wake him up.

Cthulhu was once described as "the green, sticky spawn of the stars." I'm pretty sure that's what this wreck was going for. They sure got green and sticky.

Shelley said...

Oh, my god. A Cthulhu cake - where can I get one?! And do they come in Nyharlothotep?

Meagan said...

That pink fuzzy thing looks like it would
A: tickle.
and B: warm my footies.

Kristine said...

The pink fuzzy cake looks like one of the puffles from "Club Penguin."

http://joshshicool.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/yellow-puffle1.png

Alex said...

"It's a trap!!"

Made my day. :)

Sandi said...

Tribbles!

Anonymous said...

It's horrible. I am such a 3rd grader when it comes to cake wrecks. The poo cakes make me laugh hysterically every single time.

The close-up was an especially nice touch.

And I think that the fuzzy red thing definitely looks like a baby Gossamer.

http://www.heroicfineart.com/catalog/images/GossamerModelSheet%5B1%5D

Hyena Overlord said...

I wuvs the pink one even if it does resemble fuzzy slippers eating valentine cookies.

The other, ick.

The turd cake looks like a G.I. emergency resulting from a ruptured hemorrhoid.

wv: G. I. emergencies as detailed on the turd cake can be avoided with regular use of Regolo, a high fiber supplement.

Anonymous said...

I thing the pink fuzzy monster is a "weepul". These are fuzzy balls with big paper feet and googely eyes. They are typically given out as prizes for magazine drives at schools. When I was in school, students would earn anywhere between 1 and 50 of these depending on how many magazines they sold. The bottoms of the feet were adhesive so they stuck to everything. Thanks for the memory!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weepul

Puanani said...

The butterfly can double as both pollinator and fertilizer! Fly about, pollinate and fall into the soil as fertilizer...

Angie Ledbetter said...

Having a new puppy who leaves us "presents" everywhere, I don't think I'll be eating anything that looks like your last creation entry today!

Blog crawlin' today, and will mention your fun place in my Findings Report tomorrow to my good readers/followers. :)

NashvilleJen said...

Oh wow Mel - Thanks for the fun flashback to the early 80's. I had forgotten about weepuls. I had those things stuck everywhere: notebooks, lockers, desks, etc.
I really want the pink fuzzy cake now!

Tanner said...

I think the cute fuzzy thing is a Love Bug!!

Crystal said...

The pink fuzzy thing looks like cookie monster! Maybe his girlfriend?? eating those yummy heart cookies lol..

Jodith said...

OMG - the pink cat *does* look like ChooChooBear. Must send a link to Randy!

The green Cthulu I think...maybe...might be a frog? *shudders* Just what I want to eat on my cake, an amphibian. It's as bad as Admiral Ackbar.

As for the fuzzy thing, I thought it looked like one of the monstors on PacMan!

Talula said...

I am sure that others have posted this by now, but the pink fuzzy one is clearly a tribble. And I'm so sad that your inner geek girl did not see it.

Chelly said...

Wow, I must be pretty twisted; my first glance at the one you've labeled as a Star Wars cake, all I saw was a vulva with a baby albino sloth coming out!

Juliet said...

Was anyone else disappointed the first one didn't say "I'm purrin FUR you."

Neb said...

The pink thing is totally Nummymuffincoocolbutter (from MST3k), as has already been mentioned. I'm sure it tastes just divine. Perhaps Nummy is a kind of Schmoo...

Jo-Anne said...

The other day we were all hoping to see the "blue poo" photo that resulted from eating the heinously blue cake...well, after seeing the Cthulhu cake, I think I can fill in the blanks!

Anonymous said...

The pink fluffy thing is either a "love bug" or a chuzzle. I vote for chuzzles - only because they are cute a squeak when you squeeze them. Chuzzle is a game, but you can also get little tiny stuffed ones, and, yes, they do squeak!

see chuzzles here: http://www.gamehouse.com/download-games/chuzzle-deluxe/

-Layne

darkshines said...

I thought the cat blob cake said "I'm purrrving on you"...

Kelly H. said...

I can't believe nobody has mentioned Fry-Guy as a possibility for what the pink fluffy cake resembles. Or maybe a fry-gal considering the color? Surely there are people on here who remember the crazy McDonald's characters from the 80's! Either way, cute cake but it makes my teeth hurt thinking about eating it!

Anonymous said...

With the last one, is that a butterfly? Haha! =D

msyendor said...

Tribbles don't have eyes! I vote for a pink Pacman critter or a fuzzy footstool.

The Cthuhlu ccc -- of course he's happy. just guess eating what all that green ichor will do to you.

Clarissa said...

My daughters reply to the "butterfly" was What a crappy butterfly! LOL I love her sense of humor!

Heidi said...

My not-quite-2-year-old daughter saw the "butterfly" cake and immediately shouted out, "Baby poop!" Of course she also insists that a photo of sheep jumping over a log in a certain animal board book is in fact poop. That book is just ruined for her.

Wayne said...

My first thought was that thing looks more like the Hoth Wampa than Admiral Ackbar. See for youself.

http://theswca.com/images-toys/figuretoys/wampa-catalog.jpg

Irregardless, it's a trap!

Sophie said...

I want to take Admiral Ackbar's "Mini Me" home. IT'S SO FRIGGIN' CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:):):):)
Not that I have like an alien obsession or anything like...um....well...um....
OKAYFINEIDOIDOIDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophia Nightengale said...

I see a chocolate covered...well...um...let's just say that me an' MG are gettin' in the Holiday Spirit ifanyaknowwaddimean. ;)

Marie said...

Nothing says, "I Love You" like a cthulhu.

Marcel said...

thank you SO MUCH for the laughs!!

lauren

kkormondy said...

I think the pink thing is a weeple/weepul too. I believe i saw one just like it stuck to the top of an Apple //e monitor in 1987.

now i have to go find some pom poms and googly eyes to make one myself.

kayla said...

hey, my cat's turds always had a pointy end on them, just like that "butterfly" body!

Koenji Calling said...

The pink furry thing is obviously a love bug. :P

Jennifer said...

I'm guessing the Valentine's Day Poop Cake wreckerator is probably single. And maybe just a bit bitter..

Jenn said...

Love it, squeeze it, or call it George...

Not that you weren't cool before, but now you are officially cool. :)

WV: kifyinla.... anyone know a radio/tv station KIFY in LA? :)

Connor said...

Hooray for amorphous feline blobs, pink fuzzy things, and dung butterflies! And Ackbar and Cthulu, of course.

(yes I know it's long winded, be quiet)

Anonymous said...

The pink one (fifth down) looks like a chuzzle. Cute! and yummy too, I'll bet.

Leanne said...

The pink fluffy one is ADORABLE!
The rest were obviously made by bitter, single cake decorators mocking a day made for lovey-dovey couples to make out in public places.

cadylee said...

The Admiral Ackbar comment made my day. I think maybe that fuzzy thing is the disembodied head of a V-Day themed Cookie Monster.

Hyena Overlord said...

My vote is for Fry girl..or guy for the pink one. Good call Kelly H.


wv: plogi...we'll just plogi along.

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone needs to be nicer to the last cake, it's a woman now...

rightfootforward said...

I really like the pink fuzzy thing...it's pretty cute even if it is death by icing. See, that just proves that some CCC's are not that bad.

I confess...I had an Elmo CCC for my daughters second birthday and I loved it! so :-P

~TAMY 3 Sides of Crazy~ said...

The little red furry looking guy reminds me of a Trible from the old Star Trek series. They were fun and made everyone laugh!!

Dataceptionist said...

I love your blog, I've just caught up all the archives. GOLD.

Buckyball said...

The pink one reminds me of something we called a "warm fuzzy" back in grade school... and it's a pretty accurate depiction.

Sharon said...

Maybe the feline message was actually a cutesie-fied version of an encouraging message of 'I'm pulling for you'...

..eh.



P.S. Conclusion after reading the comments...there's way too many googly-eyed furballs out there. Next thing you know someone will suggest it's a My Little Pony Bushwoolie. >.> <.<

ksaldria said...

I think the Admiral Akbar cake could also be the snow beast from Hoth. Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking that Admiral Ackbar was added to the cake as a last minute attempt at saving it. The underlying heart shape looks a little too much like part of a woman's anatomy to me.

~Jenn Danza~ said...

Hay! Turds need love too! :P
LOL

Miranda said...

If I can make the time, I have decided I will duplicate the pink Love Bug and take it to work on Monday! (Yes, I have the right icing tips, etc.)

VW: cones. *looks down* Yep, they're still attached.

Amanda said...

i didn't see the turd at first... i saw a severed finger, with a dark red painted fingernail. yum!

Photographer Leia said...

"For the H.P. Lovecraft fan: a Valentine's Cthulhu"

I would completely melt if I received that cake for Valentine's Day. Not a wreck at all :-p

Emily said...

pink fuzzy thing = Valentine's Cookie Monster? It is nomming some cookies.

slythwolf said...

I think the pink fluffy one is supposed to be a Valentine's Day version of the Cookie Monster cakes, made by someone who has no idea who Cookie Monster is. And that's just sad.

Sina bo bina said...

Yay me, I'm a dolt...I posted a comment re: "hug him and squeeze him and call him George" on the wrong post. So enjoy that moment and delete them both! :)

Heather said...

Ohhh I know what the fuzzy lookin' one is!!! It's a PINK PYGMY PUFF!!! Anyone read Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince?? Ginny gets a purple pygmy puff that she names Arnold (I'm reading this right now). This pink on is Arnold's sister Ariel! hee hee

Anonymous said...

Today's turd could be tomorrow's butterfly.
Okay...today's turd could be tomorrow's turd.
We can always dream.

kymmz said...

Honestly, in the last cake I didn't see poop, it looked more like a syringe. Yes, a brown syringe, but a syringe nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

The pink thing is a "love bug!"

Anonymous said...

it looks like the fuzzy cake is supposed to be a tribble from the original star trek. - michael

Deanne said...

It's a wittle wuppie!! I remember winning those all the time in grade school - and if you were lucky you would get the one with the scent tube in it and it would smell like lemons :D

Anonymous said...

Poop Butterfly or Blood Clot Butterfly; either way I'm not feelin' the holiday much...
Noradelle

Crazy Girl said...

Yay! I love "George"! Do not EaT "George"! He's "mine". (Another attack of the random quotation marks!)

Starkid Potter said...

I personally think the little pink guy looks like a Pygmy Puff from Harry Potter...Or at least how I would imagine Arnold to look like!

housemdfan1 said...

The pink fuzzy one reminds me of a Tribble...with eyeballs. It's no tribble at all.

Anonymous said...

AWWWWWWWWW, George is so cute! Mom, can I have one??? Pretty please? Pretty pretty pretty please? Please please please???

As for the rest . . . it should go back to where it came from: the toilet.

Going back to George, does anyone else think that's Ginny Weasley's Pygmy Puff from Harry Potter? Yeah, me either.

Katalina said...

George is a Pygmy Puff!
see? like this one!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3505/3269531013_09c32ec488.jpg
They're from Harry Potter!

Christian said...

Admiral Ackbar about the last cake; "It's a crap!"