Anyway, I mention all this because today I got a harsh reminder of just how old my phone is:
Yep, old enough to appear as a plastic toy on a Wreck.And not just ANY Wreck, but one that's ugly as vomit-streaked sin and suffering from a severe identity crisis to boot. Is it a going-away cake? A birthday cake? Both? "Happy Birthday, Billy. Now Daddy and I gotta go! Bye!"
I could also mention the punctuation, spacing, and CCC issues, but really I just can't get over this phone-clone thing. In fact, I think I need to photograph my phone just to show you I'm not making this up. Check it out:
See? Of course, the fact that I wanted to show off my new Mickey Munny doll had nothing to do with it, Christina B. (But isn't he cute?)
|
123 comments | Post a Comment
I had a moment of severe phone envy the other day after watching too many commercials for the new iPhone and Blackberry with their cool little games, etc. My phone just, well, makes calls, sends text, and could connect to the internet at a ridiculously slow speed if I really wanted. And yet... that's what it's supposed to do. It's a *phone.*
Oh, and the cake is ugly! I definitely wouldn't have paid more than $12 for it, if even that!
Word verification: defuncr, what many of these cakes are to the intended parties
I love that it's on sale.
Priceless.
Love Psychonauts.
What an odd inscription. I think this is a cake from some inconsiderate traveling parent that was trying to give a phone order message while talking on another phone.
*on phone one* "What's up? Gotta go out of town!"
*on phone two* Oh yeah the cake...umm...how about "Happy Birthday"
*decorator* Qua?
My favorite part is that it's on sale.
Yes, he's very cute. So cute that I forgot the cake and really want that Mickey Munny (is it supposed to be Mummy? Because I don't know what "munny" is).
Oh my gosh, I love Psychonauts too!
I love that it's discounted too. It's a reject trifecta.
iityrLook on the bright side... at least you can have vomit-streaked sin for under $12.00!
Woot! Woot!
I don't understand what the connection of any of the cake is. We have the phone, ugly background, "we gotta go!" and "Happy Birthday!". There is about 4 different messages on that cake.
Forget the cake (and the phone)... I want one of those Mickeys!
Wouldn't it make more sense to throw your controller during the Meat Circus, rather than your phone?
The dialogue on this cake is definitely the best. It was as if the decorator was having a conversation with herself thinking of what to add and decided to add it all.
I'm sure it will come up in other comments here (when they're posted all at once) ... but it appears THIS wreck was something that the original person wouldn't purchase. The inscription is bizarre enough to suggest there was a backstory.
But now it's marked down, and the cake board is scribbled with "Happy Birthday" to try to move it out the door. For that reason, it's one of my favorite wrecks.
Have you managed to beat the Meat Circus? I have NEVER been able to do it and it makes me cry.
Also, big ups for old phone love. I practically have to crank mine.
They forgot "IDK my BFF Jill"
That's the best phone ever. I kept mine until AT&T FORCED me to take a free phone because their network wouldn't support that one. After two years, I still haven't had the heart to actually toss the thing.
I'm glad that you don't take it for granted! Enjoy it while you can!
its okay. i just upgraded, cause someone stole my phone at the mall over x-mas. what any one wanted with the first flip phone with a camera is beyond me. I had it forever, like, 6 years, and in phone world, that's decades. the screen was cracked, you reallly had to push to dial a 2, you know? I think the toy flip phones are fancier. I now have a newer bar phone. I picked it cause it was pretty plain,but it has the Music ID thing, and I didn't expect it to, so thats pretty cool. If it hadn't been stolen, I probably would still be chuggin along with my old one tho. It still worked fine.
No wonder one's gotta go with a cake like that, and why one is out of town when it's time to eat the cake.
Thank you for this blog. I haven't laughed this much for months :-D
I used to have that phone! I think it is still kicking around in a drawer somewhere.
My phone doesn't even have a multi color screen .
I guess it's a free for all occasion cake
Ugly as vomit streaked sin! That is a new one and I love it! Seriously though, Update your phone!!
I find it hilarious that just the other week, my partner saw the little toy cellphones in our grocery store and commented how much they looked like his phone. I too had an old cellphone until recently (actually I still have it, it just doesn't work anymore) so I upgraded to one that actually is semi-modern - whoo!
This cake makes absolutely no sense at all, and the colour scheme is downright nasty..YUCK!!!!
~Amy B.
I knew my phone was old when I saw it pictured on one of those donate your old phone bins.
Yeah, I still have the first cell phone I ever got - May 2003. No camera. Still works perfectly (even after I dropped it down that flight of concrete steps in college). The battery life is starting to go though...
I think a mid-50's cake decorator was trying to mimic what pre-teens might say on the phone. I took it as a middle school birthday cake for a talkative girl. But the question remains as to why any person with eyes in their head would make a cake in those colors.
I know this is the most unrelated thing, but why are you saving $7.79 and paying $11.69? that means the cake was originally $19.48... and while that may have been a good year for some, it's a really odd price, and an even odder discount... i'm sure there's a mathematical explanation but since the "cake" itself is horrifying, i went for the more hidden befuddlement
I'm hanging on to my cruddy old phone and hoping that someday I can use it as a topper on my kids' graduation cake.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
My phone was older (from 1998), but two years ago I learned it no longer works in all 50 states . . .
There's a river in the middle of the cake, I'm pretty sure. But whatever the person ordered, which I'm sure was fraught with personal meaning, I think "designers" are charged with making it look okay. Otherwise we'd all make our own cakes, or just murmur something while handing one another Twinkies. (Uh, it needed to be said.)
No amount of retconning can make this worth spending money on. Prying the cupcakes apart and scrambling them like a puzzle, to obliterate any hint of intentional communication, would move them faster.
Guity -- how some wreckerators who can't spell feel at the end of a work day.
I have that exact phone! And I still use it as well =)
that mickey money is probably the lamest thing i've seen all week
Given the game you're playing, and that cake, I can only think of one appropriate response to that monstrosity:
"Ahhh, it's so... tacky... Can't... look... directly at it..."
My phone is way older than that. :-/ It makes calls and sends text messages. That is all. No Internet, no pictures, the screen is 1980-computer-monitor green.
We have the same phone - and I still use mine, too.
I also cannot believe/am hugely amused that the cake is on sale.
Aw, don't feel bad, Jen - I had the exact same phone and only gave it up when my call company offered me a new phone for free (which was about two years ago, but still). Of course, my "new" phone is pretty old by now, too...
Oh, and the cake is *really* ugly. ^^
Wait - what's wrong with that phone? *I* have that phone. Still works - most of the time.
When I get a new one, I'll use it to put on someone's going-away cake.
You know, a whole Keep-in-touch - touch.
XOXO
That "cake" was so ugly, I failed to notice it was an evil CCC until it was mentioned in the write-up. I think the colors blinded me.
(My phone is only three years old, although it wasn't even a fancy model when I bought it. I can still make and receive calls, which is my main requirement.)
Loved that phone. I eventually had to replace it because the metal contacts in the phone didn't work right and it was very hard to charge.
Someone HAS to make a cake like your Mickey Munny doll. That would rock.
If you liked Psychonauts, check out Grim Fandango, the same team's game before Psychonauts. It's available on PC and super cheap (they did a rerelease a few years ago). AWESOME game.
Ok, I feel old. My first phone was one I inherited from my older sister in the mid nineties. The screen was greenish grey and black. The aerial pulled out. The sim card was the size of a credit card. Camera? Don't be absurd, it barely managed 30x40 monochrome bitmaps! And I have no idea how they got there! And there was no way you could fit it into a pocket unless you were borrowing your clothes from MC Hammer.
It had Snake though. I miss Snake, even if I do have a pretty nifty Sudoku game on my current phone.
LOL, I had that phone, too. Sold it two years ago to a guy for $25! Then I "bought" (got free with renewal) the next Sony-Ericsson model(Z520a) which has the *exact* same menu system.
I have to laugh too! Just realised that my phone is "older than most 1st graders" too - I was about 3 months pregnant with my current 1st grader when I got it. Still doing fine; on 2nd earphone; might replace the battery some time. I'm using it now to listen to the radio. Phone, text and radio - that was state of the art when I bought it :) And still all I need.
Oooh...
We need a "Design a cakewreck Munny" contest!
For those that don't know what a Munny is, go to http://www.kidrobot.com/2008/munny/
I was so mad...as soon as I bought my new BlackBerry, they came out with the Bold and the Storm...I kept my old RAZR so I wouldn't have to buy new Tetris and Solitare games ;)
I have one of those 2-ton cell phones from the 80s that could be installed IN THE CAR
wv: litub...erm, I got nutthin'
This is the funniest website I've ever seen!
"Thanks!"
underneat that
Best wishes!
hey - at least you got a phone that has lasted a long time. Some of the newest models can't boast that (hello iPhone that keeps dying on me)!! :)
Wonder how long it sat there before it was discounted?? Maybe it started out with different colors & didn't age well - lol. The "vomit-induced sin" remark is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. As always thanks for brightening my day!!
I think it's even a CCC if you look closely around the edges...you can just make out the scalloped edges...
I had a phone that was 5 yrs old with no intention of replacing it even though the 3 button didnt work but then my bf decided to help with laundry and washed it. I still miss that phone. sigh...
Psychonauts is love. That cake is so not.
I got my first cell phone in the early 1990s. It was so big (relatively speaking) that I had a separate little purse just for the phone.
That is one butt-ugly CCC, and it must have a multiple personality since it can't decide what message it wants to convey.
Word verification: evera. "It's sure as heck as bad a wreck as evera wreck that was."
You should turn your Munny into a Disney-style mouse/Klingon hybrid.
Oh my goodness, that is the ugliest, most confusing cake ever!
AHHHH. YOU LIKE PSYCHONAUTS? That's my favorite game ever!
Okay, you were already awesome. Now you are MADE of awesome.
♥
It's incredible that after all these years of mocking my wife's ancient, uses-an-abacus-instead-of-a-computer-chip cellphone, you post THE SAME PHONE on Wrecks.
Is there something sinister in this Sony Ericsson that creates irrational loyalty in its disciples... I mean owners?
This is the kind of thing that would make me say the following in a phone conversation: "Out of town." So this cake's reduced? Boy, is it ever.
Ugly, ugly, ugly...this is why some people should never be allowed near an airbrush.
The Mickey doll is soooo cute.
Yes, Jen, he is VERY cute and the phone clone is freaking me out too!
WV: podermi WTF!?!?!?
I had my previous cellphone for a few years, and when I went get it upgraded the guy at the store laughed in my face. He said, "You know they don't make these anymore," like it had a rotary dial or something. I got a new phone but it wasn't worth the humiliation.
I was drawn out of my little lurker corner by your mention of Psychonauts. I can't get past the damn meat circus part where the water is rising and my dad is yelling at me... it's very traumatic.
As far as the cake goes, it is horrifying. I can't help but wonder if maybe the wreckarator thinks that "Out of Town" is an expression akin to "Out of sight!" or similar. Otherwise I can't understand why you would write it on a cake.
Yay i took this picture and it made it on! I'm so happy!
I saw it in Wal Mart and made my husband distract the bakery person so I could snap the picture with my camera phone.
Sweet! I loved that it was on sale too... can't imagine why! :)
Your cell phone might be old, but it's still better than mine. Because I don't have one. I'm 23 years old, and I've never had a cell phone. I'm kind of proud of that fact.
i had that same phonee
and it still works
gotta love a phone that keeps on givin'...
That cake looks like it could be older than your cell phone!
Mmmm Mold Coloured.
Who ever thought that a cake could be appetizing when it's THAT colour.
Don't feel too bad about your phone though - mine was marketed to pre-teens (it has pretty flashy lights LOL).
Word verification: Lingi - I didn't want to Lingi longer as looking at this cake made me want to hurl.
The phone comparison is sad. :(
In case no one else has done this, I will give you the nudge to give yourself permission to just LET IT GO. It's okay. You're still a good person if you buy a cell phone that belongs in this decade.
You get lots of kudos and applause from the "reduce, reuse, recycle" campaign for holding on to a working item and not becoming a consumer just for consuming's sake. But it's time to move on.
I'll get off my soap box. Just sayin' it because I care!
That cake confuses and disgusts me.
and hey at least you have a cell phone! Too much money for me so I stick to the $5/month landline!!! People always look at me crazy when I tell them I dont have one :)
I've been trying to figure out if it's a river or a road on that cake to take you out of town.
To Wrench 0626: I loved Snake. It was about the only game on my phone I could figure out how to play. Alas, the snake..I mean, the phone died and I had to replace it with something that lasted only half as long.
I would wager it's on sale because the person who ordered the cake took one look at that and said "Um...no. No way." And either walked away without paying or demanded a refund.
Psychonauts is amazing but the mind-brain-tank-evil battle sequence often causes me to throw random objects around. Usually at my partner who doesn't understand the epic hardness and glory of psychonauts.
What does that mean, "Out of Town"??? Is that some newfangled teen lingo?? Who texts someone "Out of Town" unless they are LITERALLY out of town?
And honestly - wouldn't "g2g" be more proper than "Gotta Go"? And "ttyl"?
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn, but I'm so confused. Amused, but confused.
Psychonauts made me want to break things.
I think if I saw this cake in person and thought about that game, the cake would be smashed onto the floor and would probably look better there than it does here.
Hmmm....it's my birthday today, and that cake sounds a lot like my phone call with my mom this morning. Will she get me another cell phone?
*cue "Twilight Zone" theme music*
---Blue Jean
Two things.
One. I admire your ability to keep your phone in tact for so long. I've gone through at least 6 in the last five years...I'm a little abusive my cell phones. The one I have now though is remarkably sturdy, having withstood paint, water, and multiple cross-room throws. But kudos to you and your cell phone longevity! It's a great thing to have.
Two. Psychonauts is the best game ever. Aside maybe from Portal. Game on! :)
Phone twins!
And I love that phone.
The cake inscription is reminding me a bit of "Rocket Man," the Elton John song...
LOL!
I was so amazed at the general hideousness of the cake I didn't even realize it was a CCC!
Ah, I see you have a "brick". Don't worry, those things last forever. Seriously.
Maybe it's not a clone, maybe they just bought a bunch of old phones which they are now using as decorations?
And yay, Psychonauts!
my mum has the same phone!
I find it quite hard to use, so I hate having to txt for her on it occasionally.
When my dad passed away, my mum say it was lighting up every morning around 6am something (I forget) which is the time my mum wakes my dad up before he passed away. Spooky or coincidence?
Pah, I have a Nokia 5110. Calls and text - good enough for me! It's been through our entire family and I love it. It also doubles as a defensive weapon in emergencies.
I LOVE PSYCHONAUTS!!!!!
And am I the only person that ever since I found this site I HAVE to make a trip to the bakery at the store??? :)
Omigosh, it's my phone!! You don't know how happy it makes me to see that someone else is still using that model after all these years - I feel validated! I wonder if that's actually a fake phone on the cake or if someone was inspired when they got a new one after having the Ericsson for so many years?
*walking into grocer's bakery* "Dude! My new phone came today, what should I do with the old one? ...Wait..."
I have that phone too!
and I still use it
Don't feel bad. At least your phone had a camera at one time! Mine doesn't have a camera, doesn't connect to the internet, and sends and receives text messages when it feels like it.
I possessed and CHERISHED that Sony Erickson for years until my sister borrowed and lost it. I still feel a pang of grief when thinking about the loss, so I guess that just adds another dimension of AUGH to this cake.
Don't feel bad, I have the original butterfly keyboard Nokia, AND another just like it purchased unlocked. My carrier keeps wanting me to "upgrade." I always say the same thing: "I LOVE my phone, it does all I tell it to and nothing I don't."
We are not alone and we are not going away.
[Dang, that sounds way tougher than it needs to for a cake blog. Jeepers, uh, let's color it unicorn-ish, ya' know, lighten it up some... I'm shutting up now.]
-A.
I had that phone too!! It was amazing, so durable.
My friend just gave in and upgraded from her Nokia 3210, so old it has a yellow screen and pixel graphics!
Man, I want to paint that Mickey doll so badly!
I also had that phone until a few months ago, when the little controller gave up and I couldn't do anything with the menus anymore. It's a really good phone! It's great that yours is still in working condition.
The random! usage of! exclamation points is! almost! Shatneresque!
And about the phone - you mean you have one of those newfangled things with a camera? I bet it has a colour screen too. My unkillable Nokia 3315 is now 6 years old, and has none of that fancy schmancy stuff hehehe.
Word verification: gatisc - a sort of weird choking sound one makes when viewing a particularly horrendous cake wreck.
and again!
http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article5516511.ece
I love Psychonauts. I hate the Meat Circus.
That was MY very first phone too. Sad to say, but I have graduated way beyond that one, but i LOVED LOVED LOVED it!!! More power to you for still using it!!!
As to the cake, I just don't get it...
It looks like the Disney Dough-boy.
I had one of those two phones ago. THEY WERE AWESOME. That was like the Nokia 3310 with a camera (which means good, since Nokia 3310's are like indestructible and are probably made of the same stuff they make the black box in planes of)!
But that was an ugly cake though.
Psychonauts is pretty much the best game ever.
Psychonauts effing ROCKS!
OMG! THAT'S MY PHONE! I, too, have been using it forever and refuse to get a new one.
Uh...yeah. Well that's the phone my fiance used about three phones ago and gave me as an upgrade to mine. LOL So this one is not as bad as the one I HAD been using...
"vomit-streaked sin....."
It's a day later and I'm still crying with laughter.
You are the greatest, Jen!
You deserve every blogging award out there.
In fact, nest time I am going to nominate you for Best Religion blog and Best Political Site, in addition to Food, Humor, Cooking, etc.
why bother discounting it? they should cut their losses, put it in the break room and add 'eat me' to the list of random phrases.
*My* cellphone is so old it's got a rotary dial! Okay, not really, but close.
Hey, Shahinrani, get a new battery for 10 bucks from Amazon & your phone will be like new! I just did that and now I can make a whole call without the battery dying!
What's a Mickey Munny?
I used to have that phone too. I'm sad that it broke because all the ones I had after it weren't as good! That phone had really user-friend menus and a good, solid feel.
Wow... speaking of Psychonauts, I think that cake is the same color as Bobby Zilch's canvas-of-decay gumline.
I understand hanging on to your phone completely. My current phone is eight years old, falling to pieces and most of the time the battery dies whenever someone calls it (I can only use it to send texts). I have been given two different new phones, but I just can’t bare to part with it/ do not want to learn how to use a new phone.
Psychonauts!
What's your favorite level? I think mine is Lungfishopolis.
The irony is that $11.97 is also probably the current value of your phone.
And by $11.97 I meant $11.69. What? I can't be expected to remember the entire price of something if I have to do something complicated in between like click on the comment section.
My phone was made before camera phones were invented. It has a monochrome display. Next to my phone, yours looks like the starship Enterprise.
Where did you buy the mickey munny doll from?
thanks!
I didn't even realize it was a CCC due to the myriad issues it's got going on. I think maybe the inscription was supposed to be a text message convo? But it should have been text speak then, no?
But I totally understand your phone thing. My wireless carrier contacted me to see if I didn't want to get a new phone because one as old as mine (only a preschooler, LOL) can't possibly still work. The sales rep didn't believe me when I said it still works perfectly (and I'd pass on paying more for fewer minutes for the privilege of buying a new phone).
Am I seein' that right, or is the "Happy Birthday" not even on the cake?? Looks like it's on the paper on the bottom of the tray. Now that's creative :(
i can't believe you got a Mickey Munny! AND it's a DIY one...you should make a cake-wreck Munny homage of some sort =)
I have that phone too. It's a sweet phone!
Well, if all you want your phone to do is make calls and you don't really care what it looks like, then what's the point of a new phone. Personally, I'm one of those people who gets a new phone every six months or so.
Don't feel bad I have the exact same phone!!!!
I had that same phone from 2003 up until about a year ago. I loved it so much! It had everything i needed. Glad to see that I am not the only one that had that phone for so long!
*gasp* I love the Mickey Vinylmation!
For the record, I'm a 21 year old female and I had your phone less than a year ago. I loved it. Passionately.
I love Psychonauts also!
One of the BEST games EVER :D
$11.69 for that cake? Boy, those people are STEEP!
Funny as always, thanx!
P.S. Your toy is CUTE!