Friday, February 20, 2009

Passive Aggressive Cakes

Friday, February 20, 2009

Everybody loves getting a cake, right?

Well, unless it's one of these.

Hah! Wait, you are joking, right? Uh, yeah, I think maybe I'll pass - thanks, though. Really.


No, seriously; now you just seem too eager. Keep your stinkin' cake, alright?


Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Back off, Chucky-boy!


No!


Well, I should think so! You're supposed to be sweet little confections, not all threatening and...


...eek! Uh, no problem, mister Cake, sir - not a word from me, nuh-uh!


Kelly, Moxie, Michele H., Ashley C., and Nikki P., I've been trying to cut down on sugar lately, and I think it's getting to me. If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go lay down for a spell...
Fluffy Cow said...

This opens up so many possibilities! Love the death cake...

Oats said...

Bone and hair cake reminds me of the Pizza in the dorm fridge at college... only they posted the warning a week later "The pizza in blue wrap may contain (and probably does) hair, nail clippings, and other things we found on the bathroom floor"

Anonymous said...

Passive aggressiveness + sugar = a speechless me. Wow!

Word verification: repturs, what may happen to you if you actually eat some of these cakes (especially the ones with the bone fragments)

Sister Raven said...

Well, at least in these cases, the wreckiness is due to what the customer requested (at least, I'm pretty sure it is). The handwriting on these is nice, fairly well centered (except for number 2, maybe). I do like the choice to have all that pink icing on the last one, with the word "KILL" in red. Nice touch.

piecemeal people said...

I'm just going to pleasantly and innocently assume there is a downright HILARIOUS inside joke to go with each of those cakes. There has to be - otherwise, bakeries really need to start doing more thorough background checks during the hiring process.

Gabrielle said...

Sorry for all those things WE said??? Wow- that's a real apology if I have ever seen one!

joyce said...

Wow. Mafia cakes. Run for you lives!

Cyberrblue (Colleen) said...

I gotta say the writing on the first cake is beautiful but I wonder what that warning came from????

I think my fave is the "suck it" cake...I have a serious weakness for oreos...

~Colleen (cyberrblue.wordpress.com)

Anne said...

You know, as hilarious as I find the "Death is closer than ever" cake, I think I would cry if someone gets me that for my next birthday (especially since it's one of those "milestone" birthdays).

kerry said...

that last one made me laugh out loud for real.

Miranda said...

WAT. OK, all I can say is..."INAPPROPRIATE"!!!!!

Cripes. Why deface (supposedly) perfectly good cake like that?

*walks away shaking head and muttering*

Jasry said...

Here, let us present our death threats with pretty flowers and finely-done script....
This is one of my favorite topics so far!!!!

Doublebanker said...

Silence...I'll Kill You.

Check out my Daily Gif Blog...just started my first giveaway.

DB

kara said...

The "sorry" cake is actually quite pretty, besides the fact that it's really bizarre.

Anonymous said...

But you have to really love how these threatening messages are accompanied by sweet little roses and rosettes!

HorribleLicensePlates said...

I love these!

Etiquette Bitch said...

am i weird for thinking the "suck it" cake looks delicious?

Anonymous said...

I wonder where are "dead horse head" cakes...

Anonymous said...

I shouldn't be, but I am actually disturbed by these. (except the suck it one)

Bailey's Leaf said...

Are you going to hate me if I tell you that my college prof taught me that "alright" is two words and not one? Eeek! Sorry.

Rach said...

The "Suck It" cake was awesome. And I'm very tempted to do the "Death is closer than ever" cake for a friend's upcoming bday.

Anonymous said...

Surprisingly they were all decorated quite nicely!

Sharon said...

That last cake reminds me of this: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/09/12/i-dont-need-a-birthday-cake-i-said/

Warning: the language on the cake is more colorful than the cake

Malibu Niki said...

I agree with Sister Raven, the handwriting on each of the cakes is nice (my favorite is the first one). And nothing appears to be spelled incorrectly... ;)

Alyssa said...

Haha, I love the "Suck It!" cake.. that totally just made my day. :] Love you, Cake Wrecks!

clueless said...

"Suck it".......suck what?

Viewtiful_Justin said...

These cakes are amazing. Wow. The last one is the most amazing cake I've ever seen.

dr_igloo said...

These cakes all seem straight-up aggressive to me...not a passive one in the bunch!

Laura Moffitt said...

WOW, all I can say is WOW and hope my friends are nicer.

LaurenH said...

Suck it!
ha ha ha! I really did almost laugh out loud at one...right in the middle of the office

"Death is closer than you think"...is that along the same vein as the ones before it? Death is closer than you think...because this cake is poison!

Glue and Glitter said...

These are fantastic! I can't decide on a favorite! Maybe "Sorry About Those Things We Said," because it's so open ended.

Nikki said...

Okay, I may be weird, but I LOVE the cake that says, "If you tell anyone about this we will KILL you!" It's just the sort of cake my brothers would give me after doing something super-nice for me. Like buy me a cake.

Cole said...

New to commenting here, i have lurked for weeks now....but would you not LOVE to hear the story behind some of these....they would be GREAT i'm sure!

Kelli said...

I love the last one!!! Somehow the flowers seem to make the threat of death a little less ominous!!

Anonymous said...

I'd sure love to hear the story behind each of THOSE. Yikes! Can you imagine filling those orders?!?

Apostrophism said...

I think I need a standing order for one of those "Sorry for all those things we [I] said" cakes...I have a lot of people I could give that to on a regular basis. :)

p jane said...

Gotta say, that first cake is beautifully decorated. The border is neat and even, the flowers are tiny and tasteful, the lettering is both fancy and legible and not an off-putting colour. Other than the "Danger!" part I'd totally eat it.

Kamity said...

Oh, I loved these cakes. The other cakes make me giggle, smile, or chuckle, but I had to read these out loud and laugh really hard.

Woohoo, I'm well on my way to getting my 20 minutes of laughter or whatever today, and it's not even 10!! I love you!

NYCGirl said...

I am quite impressed that "than" is spelled correctly on the "Death is closer..." cake. The last cake freaked me out, though.

a blog junkie said...

Is it a coincidence that passiveaggressivenotes.com has a cake-titled post today and cake wrecks has a passive-aggressive titled post, is it a mutual respect thing or do i simply read too many blogs, making it statistically probably that sooner or later such a thing is bound to occur?

either way. keep up the great work?

Cathie said...

Those are generally quite pretty, if strange. Maybe I'm macabre, but I really like the "death is closer" cake. As I (and StrongSad) like to say, each day we die a little more!

jupiternwndrlnd said...

I'm seriously crying here...hilarious!

can I get about a dozen 'Suck It' cakes? *snort*

Redd said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I love the 'non-posionous' cake. Seriously, I just might bring that cake to my next pot luck or party where cake would be appropriate...

Marie said...

Geeze, what kind of readers does this blog attract? They're loving this stuff! (I didn't know there were so many others like me.)

Irish Girl said...

I LOVE the "Don't tell anyone..." cake. That's awesome!!

Jennifer said...

Seems to me like some fabulous ideas for maximizing cake leftovers from your party! If no one else will eat it, more for ME! Very smart.

Amy said...

Okay, Jenn~

New category for your cakes: "Anger Management Issues". LOL
Amy B.

Jenny said...

I love how all of these are so beautifully written and centered - skilled decorators got roped into wrecks by request. I hope they all got a chuckle.

laisagoddess said...

i have never seen cake i didn't want to eat, or actaully make me lose my appetite, until that first one.

Ann said...

"Sorry for all the things YOU said" would have been a nice cake to return to the sender.

Kixie said...

This one so belongs here: http://s3.amazonaws.com/media.photobasement.com/alwaysfing.jpg

Leslie said...

Hair and bone fragments...sounds like a cake that went to our office Christmas party. :-D

I wish I knew the story behind these. My roomie and I were honestly talking about giving our third roommate a cake that said, "Pack your junk and get out" (long and very passive aggressive story) All these years later I must say I regret it because I could have sent it to you.

FreedomFirst said...

Lol!

wolfmom said...

I just keep imagining the decorators scratching their collective heads and asking "Are you sure this is what they wanted?"

These have got to have great back-up stories...so glad I had swallowed my coffee first.

MsDarkstar said...

I SO want a "death is closer than ever" cake for my birthday. Seriously, that would make my day!
(keep in mind, I brought my friend in the psych ward a cake that said "Get Sane Soon!" on it - which he loved but the nurses were APPALLED by!)

Scritzy said...

I think the first case is celebrating someone's cyst. Cysts can contain hair and bone fragments.

Not that it makes it any less palatable, you understand.

Mama Jamz said...

I just found your blog and it is HYSTERICAL! I love it!!! Thank you so much for all the awesome cake pics. I don't even know which is my favorite - I'm blinded by all the funny! :o))

Mad Hatter said...

I like those cakes, the last one is great !

Anonymous said...

Is Dwight Shrute making cakes now?
--Samantha

cakeburnette said...

so I googled "translate peligro" and came up with: hazard or nastiness. That definitely fits with the rest of the text on cake #1...

Erin said...

O.M.G. why on EARTH would anyone make cakes that say such things?!?! I can imagine away some of Jen's more odd additions, but these leave me completely bewildered. Death is closer than ever?!?! perhaps to the wreckerator!

StuffCooksWant said...

Wow...I've never seen a death cake before!

Deb said...

EEEEK!

meshealle said...

Where oh where is the "I'm not speaking to you" cake?

David said...

Hilarious as always, Jen. And as an added bonus, I'm now reading and loving The Plug. Another real gem, this one. Thanks!

TheWickedGingersnap said...

These cakes make me wish that my coffin cake pan was still functional. Wouldn't that "Death is closer than you think" inscription look just marvelous on a coffin cake? Yes, the obvious "overkill" joke has already occurred to me.

Julie said...

So this might be super random, but do you have some sort of thing going with passiveaggressivenotes.com? Because on Feb. 19th their post had "cake," in the title, and on Feb. 20th your post had "passive aggressive" in the title...Coincidence?

Denise said...

Nothing says I'm sorry for saying all of those things than a cake that REMINDS you with every tasty bite of all the things that were said.

Lise Ann said...

I think most of those cakes are just regular old aggressive.

Donna said...

that last one could have come from Achmed the Dead Terrorist (Jeff Dunham---love him!)

thatsmikey said...

love the site... here's ones that are not such a wreck!
http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2009/02/11/27-beautiful-and-creative-cake-designs/

The Keyboard Princess said...

LOL, maybe I should order up one of these cakes for some of my co-workers... hehhehe

Witkowski Family said...

these are fantastic ;)

Anonymous said...

Don't you think the "kill you" cake should have posies on it instead of roses?? LOL!!

Lynn said...

If someone ever gave me a cake like those ones, it would be all over !

Horrid, gross and funny all at the same time...there sure are a lot of warped people out there...

Jamie said...

The ingredient cake reminds me of the game Portal. The list of ingredients for the cake are dreadful.
"The cake is a lie."

luvcharlie said...

I love it!

Anonymous said...

Your on this weeks Web Zen blog!

Anonymous said...

I am SO glad that I wait until the end of the day to read Cakewrecks!! Everyday I find that I'm laughing just as hard at the comments as at the original posts... it's a perfect way to chase away the cares of the day... and get some abdominal exercise from the belly laughs!

Anonymous said...

Ok. I absolutely loved the Suck It cake. Hilarious!

-Amy

butcherbaby said...

anne, i'd cry too if someone gave me the "death is closer than ever" cake, but they'd be tears of LAUGHTER! i'm ROFLMAO over the fact this was actually posted on my birthday. i'll consider that close enough to receiving it, since i don't like cake all that much anyway :D

word V: hystor i think these cakes are hystor-ical!

Casey said...

speaking of weird things written on cake, I'm reminded of a birthday cake my best friend got me one year that read, "Pillage and Plunder all the way." There was a story behind it which made sense to me, but I bet the decorator was so confused.

Wolvie Girl said...

"Death is closer than ever" would be a great cake for any member of my choir on our birthdays. We, and other university choirs round Australia, sing a funny but grim version of Happy Birthday that contains references to impending death, as well as plundering and pillaging. All to the tune of the Volga Boatmen. I'm just wondering if Casey knows that song too :)

Word verification: salatedi - a toy bear made mostly out of lettuce, with a few random bits of tomato.

Chromesthesia said...

Those cakes are making me giggle.

Especially the "If you tell anyone we'll KILL you cake."

*snicker*

Jodi said...

hahahaha OMG i love the suck it cake.
I am a long time lurker of this blog first time commenter but dang this had to be said.. the suck it cake rocks! lol

oh and im so glad you are on twitter! I am following ya :D

Anonymous said...

I heard about a cake that was special-ordered this weekend, and I can only hope somebody thinks to take a picture and send it to this site. The decorator said it was the best message she'd been given to write this year, and charged them for only half of the letters.

The message?

"Sorry I pissed on your stuff, man."

Keri Rosen said...

In the spirit of constructive criticism which abounds here, if you're going to say "passive-aggressive", you need to include the hyphen. Otherwise, you need to say "passively aggressive". Yes, I know, I'm a major pain in the neck!

jo said...

A shout out to Cake Wrecks from Passiveaggressivenotes!!
My two favorite blogs collide!!

Kelly J said...

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
cake wrecks got an honorable mention! check it out!

Michelle said...

The "Suck it!" cake speaks to me. I can think of so many people to send that to...

TriNi said...

I actually like the one that says suck it. haha.. my weird personality traits lol.

cool blog! i love all of them.. except that pregnant one off course lol.

keep up the great work.

now i'm hungry :/

Anonymous said...

I'm almost certain "Please enjoy this free and non-poisonous cake" is from the game Portal. If not, I'd bet it was inspired by it.

-girl with the lime

lissa33xc said...

I think I made the cake with the "tell anyone...kill you" on it! To whoever took that picture, where was it taken?

Your Server said...

I swear, I was at the party were the Kill You cake was served! If not, one just like it. (And, for the record, in context the whole cake makes perfect sense. I could tell you why, but then I'd have to kill you.)

lizz said...

The first one made me think of Sweeney Todd. Since those meat pies went over so well...
The "suck it" cake.. How do YOU eat YOUR oreos? Sucking on them wouldn't be my first choice but hey..
And the last one made me wonder, just what was it that must not be told to anyone? And I like the idea of threatening someone by sending them a very frilly, non-intimidating-looking cake. Clever. I'll have to try that sometime.

Cupcakes Lady said...

That last message is funny. its as if they know...its a terrible cake. Nice one. :) xx