Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The End of Sweetness

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Ok, last Vday post. Honest.

(Until the next one, that is. Heheheh.)


Not that I can be certain these were really meant for Valentine's, of course. I mean, it's not like they give us many clues...


I would ask for guesses, but my heart's just not in it. Besides, even though geography was never my strong point, even I can see it's obviously the state of Texas. Right, Cori W.?


The gril lives!

Good to know, Shauna L.


Wow. It never ceases to amaze me: the amount of time, effort, and talent poured in to these CCCs. Don't you agree, Ann S.?

Well, I have a guess as to what this is supposed to be, Sherin G., but I'm not going to spoil the fun for everyone else. Go on now, guys: what is it?

[humming Jeopardy theme]

And while we're guessing, any ideas on this one from Marisa W.?

"I tell ya, 'E' gets all the love. She's all, 'Look at me, I'm the most commonly used vowel! Ooh, la-ti-da!' Yeah. Insufferable little show-off."



Then Kay found these, which are actually wrong... for being spelled right. There's a first!

See, they have a bee (sort of; that's one scary specimen), so they could have written "Bee Mine". But did they? No, of course not. I bet there's a cake out there somewhere with a sheep on it and the inscription "I love you", too. [shaking head] C'mon, decorators: get with the punny program!

Oh, and in case you forgot what we were celebrating:


Say, this could lead to a whole new holiday icon! I'm picturing Cupid, only stitched together from spare parts. Alyssa & Clark, do you concur?
Rhea said...

oh come on , this is totally Australia!!!

Charlotte said...

It's a broken heart, no? The mystery one. But I don't know what it says on it. SWAT?

Les@SpillingBuckets said...

The first one reminds me of a chicken.

And I *think* the other one is supposed to be a 1/2 heart?

Spilling Buckets

Becky said...

I totally think that first one looks like a chicken.

karmapearl said...

The icing on that last cake looks like that puff paint you used to decorate your shirts with in the
80's. Mmmmm, tasty.

Leslie said...

Is....is that half a heart with the word sweet on it? Maybe there was another half with the word "heart" on it?
Of course then if you put them together it would say "heart sweet"...or maybe it was a breakup cake.
Very ugly. I'm glad Valentine's day is over. :-/

MamaMia said...

I think the first one is a Valentine's Day chicken?!?

Gina said...

The first one at quick glance looks like it is a chicken for Easter or something...the rest are scary!

kara said...

I know, I know! It's a kidney?!

Anonymous said...

I think the middle one is half a broken heart, maybe? Also, I think they did write "Bee" mine, they just squished the two "E"s together a lot (or maybe I'm just being nice)

MamaMia said...

I think the first one is a Valentine's Day chicken?!?!

Deryk and Becky said...

Ugh, that half-heart cake looks inedible! Hmm, and isn't the double heart cake supposed to have only one arrow going through them? Good stuff!

Jennifer said...

Re: Cake #2 - the "gril" lives.


I believe that's the cake from "Rock of Love Bus". Or "Big Love".

Soooooo romantic (swooning)

Archer said...

Okay is that mystery cake half of one of those 1980s style lockets? I seem to recall having one with a smiliar jagged edge that read
'ST
ENDS'

while my friend wore
'BE
FRI' around her neck.

DangGina said...

I could make snide comments about each individual cake...but I won't. Let's just leave it at this: CCCs are evil.

Aaaaaand, one more comment: that E-LOVE cake...what the heck is with all those sprinkles? I thought sprinkles were a bit of an accessory--didn't think you were supposed to cover up every square inch so as to make people wonder what flavor frosting was used... I don't really like my cakes crunchy, ya know?

A&EMom said...

My first impression of the "Valenstine's" cake was that it belonged in an Irish Pub.

originalrager said...

okay, so, what's your take on the Sw ee ts cake? is that half a heart?

Carrie said...

The first pic looks like a chicken to me. And I'm guessing the "sweet" cake is a heart broken in half. Just weird looking.

Love your blog!!

jengersnap said...

The brown mud puddle in the flower garden confuses me. Is it suppose to be after a rainstorm or am I just trying to read into it with more effort then was used to create it?

Maybe it's a fertile cresent??

dmontag said...

I'm guessing that the "mystery cake" is supposed to be a "Sweet Heart". It looks like the (scrunched) lettering says "Sweet", and the cake is vaguely heart-shaped.

Roust said...

It is one half of a broken heart.

Melinda said...

Wow. The first one looks like a chicken to me and the Valenstine's is really funny. Thanks for sharing!

Sharon said...

That lovE cake is just so wrong. Seriously, get rid of those green 'leaves' and plant some fondant cactus or even plastic cactus in that gravel garden of heart sprinkles. It just cries out for a barrel cactus. ;)

Laura said...

I just have to shake my head that ANY decorator would think that some of those would be worthy of the plastic cover. Honestly, who would pay for some of that CRAP????

Although, thank goodness they do it, this blog cracks me up daily.

Jo Asakura said...

the "Valenstine's Day" one absolutely KILLS me.

:scurries off to mock up a frankencupid:

wv: amblyrov. I am amblyrov about purchasing a cake for my next party if these are my options :D

Ashley said...

So, the Valenstien's Day cookie cake...

Goosebumps? Anyone?

gigi said...

Maybe the very first one is a kidney. Celebrating a transplant. Maybe that's what I'll do in a few weeks! I gave my husband a kidney 5 years ago this March 1st! Celebrate with a crapy cake :)

Vicki said...

Sitting at the computer, laughing hysterically, trying not to spill my tea, and my husband looks up and says, "must be cake wrecks, huh?"

Anonymous said...

The one is the right half of a heart, like those friendship necklaces, where you have half and you give a friend the other half. Put them together and they make a whole heart.
Cheri

Becky said...

Ummmm really, what in the world is that first thing? I just don't get how these people keep thier jobs!

Anonymous said...

The first one looks like a chicken to me. Or the outline of a chicken. With roses for... feet? o.O;

-A. Good Fedora

Jo said...

OK, obviously geography was not your strong suit, as that first cake really looks like Ohio to me (and I've lived in both TX and OH).
LOL at the gril cake, though I'm not sure exactly what it says.
What in the world are the next two pics of? I mean, we know it is CCC disasters, but really, what were they shooting for?
The SWeeT cake, I'd go for half a broken heart???
Ending it with the Valentsine's cookie was phenomenal! Love it!

rtb said...

omg, and the companies who make these actually think they are going to SELL, looking like that? In this economic climate?

And the last one isnt even iced!

Emily said...

Cake #5 might be a "sweet," flower-encrusted kidney. That's about all I can figure.

Molly said...

I think it says "Sweet." But as to why it's shaped like a gall bladder, I have no idea. Maybe it's supposed to be a reference to mincemeat? Pork and kidney pie? blood pudding? (why are all the gross organ foods british?)

Dorfmunder said...

My only guess on the Jeopardy CCC is that it's supposed to be an actual anatomic heart? Then that means "Sweet Heart" is a really disturbing way?

That's all I've got.

Serendipity said...

The one looks like 1/2 a broken heart with (sweet?) written on it... a sweet heart broken???

Good Grief! the insanity never stops!

Amroyo said...

Is that supposed to be half a heart- like two pieces of a friendship necklace? Creative way to get the 'ee' in there. Only thing is if it's supposed to say "Sweet Heart" then sweet is on the wrong half of the heart.

WV: membediz: My bed is calling to me. Is it five yet?

Anonymous said...

I give up. Do you know what it is?

Willemijn

Tracy said...

On the "Guess What it is", I will say it is a broken heart with the inappropriate sentiment of SWEET on it. Or I guess if you are the heart breaker, SWEET would be appropriate. Maybe.

Of course, here in the south if you break someone's heart and enjoy doing so, it should be spelled SAH-WEEEEET!

Tracy

Leia said...

wow. I really thought that first one was a chicken early for Easter when I saw the small picture on my blog previews.

Beaver said...

I actually thought the first one looked more like Ohio than Texas. :)

MaineCelt said...

The cake at the top of your post looks eerily chicken-like. Really, the hennish outline is quite striking, although I'm disturbed by the missing legs and feet. If this was, in fact, made from a chicken-cake mold, the wrecker ignored a barn-full of punny inscriptions in favor of those sad little roses... "Our love is poultry in motion..." or "You're a sweet chick!" or "Birds of a feather." Instead, I'm left wondering, "what the flock?"

Beaver said...

I actually thought the first one looked more like Ohio than Texas. :)

Hilary M. said...

The top creation might also be Ohio after a sudden, severe landslide affecting the top of the state. Either that, or Virginia got really fat.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the baker really loves to do E.

Shannon said...

It says Sweet! on a broken heart! That is so weird. S W EE T. Lame.

Dorfmunder said...

Ah, you all are totally right on the half heart thing. I'm so foolish!

Skye said...

The mystery cake is what I imagine Van Gogh's ear looked like when he cut it off and sent it to that prostitute. *shudder* Seriously... if you turn your head, it's totally ear-shaped!! At first I thought it said SWAK (sealed with a kiss) but I agree, it is SWEET.

gigi, you really should give your hubby a kidney cake!!

DJ Holly Rock said...

The time one looks like a kidney...maybe they got mixed up???

Jon & Anna said...

Long live the gril!!!

ern said...

i think it's hilarious how many people thought the first cake was a chicken...as did i. pretty sure my grandma had something chicken-shaped like that hanging up in her kitchen...

Jenny said...

The first one? A duodenum, clearly.

http://www.besthealth.com/besthealth/surgery/english/pages/images/15826.jpg

Anonymous said...

The first one is definitely a rendition of Grandma's stretched out undies. Note the flowers.

Caleb said...

The first one is mosdef a chicken. :)

Anonymous said...

The first cake is definitely the State of Ohio...yep, Ohio...or a liver.

LaurenH said...

ha ha! The "Bee/Be" cake reminds me of a restaurant near me called "Tie Me Up Noodles" Now it's a Thai place...the name writes itself. Spelling it correctly just makes it sound like some weird dominatrix fetish...

ChatRabbit said...

That "sweet" cake is either a broken heart, or a severed ear.
Either way, it's totally romantic.
Yeah.

D.B. Echo said...

That last cake sounds like it was ordered by Skwisgaar Skwigelf from Dethklok!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dethklok#Skwisgaar_Skwigelf

In that case, I wonder who the lucky GMILF is?

Kate said...

okay, that first one is so not a state.....it is a kidney......nothing shows someone how much you love them with a kidney cake and the flowers really make it that much better :)

Jenny said...

It's pronouced 'VAL-EN-STEEN'!

Megan said...

How lovEy DovEy. :)

Calamity Anne said...

It's half a heart with 'sweet'. That bee looks like it has a bird head on it.

james r. said...

That first one is obviously a moose liver, covered in chocolate icing. Obviously.

(I'm Canadian. I know my chocolate-frosted moose-liver cakes.)

Anonymous said...

OMG, so bear with me now....

In the 16th-century epic romance The Faerie Queene, there's an episode where a Circe-like character turns her suitors into swine and one of them is named Gryll.

So I am 100% down with a cake that is dedicated to "all my grils." You go, witchy woman!

However, I sorta doubt this was what the wreckerator was getting at with her memo cake to: all grils. {little tear escapes}

Redd said...

I don't know which I find funnier, the lack of a bee--I wonder if the decorator knew why there was a giant bee on the cookie,
or the
s
w
ee
t
broken heart cake.

Ether way, this is the best Valenstiens day post yet!

Sara said...

"Cupcake cake bad! Grrrr!"

LesleMora said...

Another vote for chicken. It's SO obvious.

Galadriel said...

So CCC stands for Cup Cake Catastrophe, right?

Vashti said...

The last one says Happy Valenstines Day.......is that Frankenstiens sister?

Maddy said...

Dyslexia rules. K.O.
Cheers

Melody said...

It's a liver! I swear!

Viewtiful_Justin said...

VALENSTINES?! That's amazing. I was laughing out loud at work, in a bank full of customers...whoops!

Oh my gosh. I had the image of the stitched-together Cupid as well!

Anonymous said...

The first one is totally in the shape of Ohio! And I'm not just saying that because I live there. Would I really want that "thing" out there representing?

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Where is that i love ewe cake when it you need it!

Erin said...

*I* thought the frist one was obviously Ohio.

sergeilovestonya said...

I'm with Jo- I see Ohio. And a Sw ee t for the mystery (is that supposed to be Sweet heart?)

CREEPY.

nrosetulip said...

My 3 yo son calls them grils and he has a whole host of grils he loves at daycare. The gril cake would have been EXCELLENT for him to take, if only I'd ordered it.

Leah said...

The mystery one looks like Elvis Presley in profile.

Anonymous said...

oohhhhh, I know! It's a skull cap! Yeah?!?!?

Jeannie said...

I think the first cake looks like Australia - the flowers are around where the fires were recently (maybe I little more on the 'sotuh' than reality - but close).

Kimberly said...

Oh that top one is totally a floral croissant! No doubt!

Lauren said...

I'm going with Yellow Rose of Texas for the first one there...

...the others though....?

Lauren said...

Actually, I thought about it and the supposed half heart cake reminds me of a pictograph bear.

Deborah said...

The Valenstines are a family of Jewish bakers, yes?

Alice Cooper said...

[cue music]
Bee mine! Valenstine!

Annette said...

Kidneys? Broken hearts? No. That 'sweet' CCC is a pancreas. Get it?

NYCGirl said...

Hmm,I thought 'bunny face' for the first one. Or maybe it's a
"her(r)ing," which is my verification word.

Scritzy said...

To all the grils I've loved before,
Now I think I'll gril one more ...

Oops, sorry, Julio and Willie.

All of those "cakes" (using the term generously) are just plain wrong.

Word verification: payben. If one of these decorators is Ben, I'M sure as heck not going to pay him!

Anonymous said...

its a native american bear!

http://www.simsburytownshops.com/assets/images/bear_shadow.jpg

Viola said...

Maybe the mystery cake is supposed to be a "Sweet Tooth"? As in, misshapen tooth with an ugly inscription that sort of looks like it might mean "sweet".
Though I have *no* clue what that would have to do with "Valenstines Day" ^^

StuffCooksWant said...

the mystery cake says "sweet", so one would assume that the cake would be heart-shaped. but it's NOT shaped in a heart shape...unless it's a heart that has undergone a bypass, perhaps?

sweet heart bypass?

oh, maybe it's cheeks...for "sweet cheeks"??

love how those two "e"'s are next o each other...guess they were running out of room, but it shows how much those two e's are in love...so sweet.

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

The last one, the way Valentine's is mis-spelled makes me think of intestine, and that icing doesn't help. Nothing like a bowel organ to express love. That first also remindes me of a hen.

drgns4vr said...

I really wasn't going to comment on these cakes, especially since I'm hoping the mystery cake remains a mystery.
But the WV is fluisess. Which is sort of like the spelling/handwriting on these cakes--in the world of cake decorating, very fluid spelling/writing make for success, right?

Wendy said...

I'm another one who clearly sees Ohio in that first cake.

Ashley said...

a broken heart..

word. said...

Texas? I totally thought that was Ohio!

Aviatrix said...

It's #3/#4 with the pink blob next to the brown blob that has me fascinated. Context if not shape makes it clear that the pink blob is a heart, but where does that leave the brown blob? Do we have someone who is so romantic that he loves his intended with not only his whole heart, but also a sizable chunk of his liver? Is it a cake decorated for an interracial couple by someone who focused more on the pink + brown than on heart + heart? I doubt it, because we have two instances of this, so it must represent a standard sentiment. Both are clearly a large pink heart and a small brown blob, so we're not looking at an error of scale. The pink one is undeniably a heart, but the heartness of the brown one is very deniable in each case. I considered "heart tumour" but that's not very romantic.

Final decision: it's a heart-shaped cake for people who are afraid that their true love will complain about pink icing, and demand chocolate instead. A chocolate heart annex, as it were.

joyce said...

Hey, the Valentine candy and stuff is fifty percent off today !!! I found a Dove heart of chocolate--so a few more Valentine's Day cakes are in order---but that first one looks like Ohio, not Texas, in my opinion.

Onward to the next chocolate holiday: Easter !

Amanda R said...

I must concur... add a little orange beek to the right side, and a little black dot for an eye, and that first one is a perfect Rhode Island Red (chicken). :)

msyendor said...

ok. So I'm the only one whose first thought of Cake #1 was; Kitty's been eating the table decorations again.

'Be Mime'? Step on it again. I don't think it was clear enough.

WV: Smerspo -- smer.spo.tobee.smantics

FreedomFirst said...

I think #1 would be the perfect cruel breakup cake. It says at the top of its voice, "You are SO not worth the effort!"

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the one we're supposed to guess actually says "SWAK" (sealed with a kiss) even though it looks like "SWAT". And then maybe it's a CCC of lips?

Maybe?? I'm trying real hard here, but it's a stretch no matter what we call it.

Anonymous said...

that first, um, heart... put an eye and a beak on it and it could pass for a chicken.

Sarah K said...

"To all my grils" must suggest a dyslexic polyamorous relationship?

Anonymous said...

The first one is obvioulsy a liver. Maybe it's for a holiday for recovering alchoholics "Be kind to your liver day." Or transplant recipients.

But absolutely a liver.

Word verification:tinglyz - those cakes made me feel tinglyz all over.

catlady said...

haven't you heard of the valentines day chicken that lays the egg the easter bunny is hatched from? c'mon, get with the program people

word verification: rehypear- to come back after eating all the frosting

Lou said...

Perhaps maybe just maybe it ISN'T a wreck...but one specially made up as a joke?

At work I heard people referring to February 13th as "Valen-stine's" Day.....more commonly known as "Mistress Day".

Because apparently there are enough cheating B@strds out there that spend the day BEFORE valentine's day out with their mistresses/wh0res...so they are free to spend actual valentine's day with their wife/girlfriend.

Couldn't find an actual like to confirm the valen-stine because too many people incorrectly spell valentine to get a valid result!

But it is amusing to know that mistress day exists -- but I digress. More likely that its a misspelling - but you learn something everyday!

Fluffy Cow said...

That bee looks like a masquerading scared sparrow. The rest? Not even gonna try!

Terri said...

I think the mystery one looks sort of like a sideways "E", so maybe it was supposed to be "sweet E" (sweetie)?

drgns4vr said...

But, Lou, what would Valen-stines have to do with mistresses. (But then, I misread the thing the first time through and thought it said Valenstein, meaning just another drinking holiday like St. Patrick's Day, only with red instead of green.)

Fitch said...

Yeah, I'm going for Chicken.

Christiy said...

C'mon, I think you all are missing the greater implications of Valenstine's day.

BEER!!!!!

Wait, no then it would be Valenstein's day.

Still worthy of holiday consideration.

labyrinthine said...

I'm glad someone else saw "be mime" on the bee cake. I tried to respond earlier, but the keys on my invisible keyboard were sticking.

Callisto said...

Is the second mystery one a romantic steak? Nothing quite puts the passion back into a relationship like a chunk of raw meat with roses on top!

Heidi said...

That cake is OBVIOUSLY Ohio, come on! Because Ohio is for lovers.

Donna said...

I think those CCCs look like kidneys.

Babs said...

I think the first cake looks like a brown chicken, without legs, and with flowers in its stomach.

But that's just me.
WV - relises The cakewrecker relises Texas looks like a chicken.

Glenda said...

Wow...cakes, so sweet! I love it!

Cynna said...

Is that a meatloaf under that Be Mine cake?

Anonymous said...

It's a steak, covered with pompoms. And now "sweet" is spelled "S-W-ee-T", i guess. The first one reminded me of those messed up Texas Longhorns cakes a while back. The ugly brown color... the misshapen curve... it all fits.

Beckysue said...

I thought maybe it was an ear, with some joke about sweet nothings. Totally missed the broken heart.

Jennifer said...

Definitely a liver. A flower-decorated liver. A large, flower-decorated, misshapen, sugary, liver.

Marian said...

That first one is a thyroid! Poor little thyroid. Has to sneak into another organ's holiday...

veggie said...

The EASTER CHICKEN! I KNEW there was an Easter chicken.

Sylvia said...

My son says it's South Africa!

Wilwarin said...

if the first one is trying to be a heart, you think it's creator could have used a pre prepared heart cake tin and the other one looks like a broken heart, or a heart that was viciously ripped in half which kind of belies the point of the day.

Typo Tat said...

Are you sure the Mutant Bee cake is a professional creation? I mean, it sits in a silicone baking pan! They don't normally sell you cakes with the pan included...

(The first cake, that's definitely a chicken!)

Adam G said...

I'm surprised that no one considered that the Valenstine's Day cake could actually be a birthday cake for Ritchie Valens! (OK, his birthday is May 13, so it would be a really EARLY birthday cake. But still...)

Amy said...

To all of my "grils"? Did they want a cake celebrating dental embellishments?
~Amy B.

Kaitlyn said...

Thankfully I speak wreck. I believe the first cake is supposed to be half of a heart, with the inscription "sweet" only written like this:
s
w
ee
t

Still doesn't explain why...

WriterGirl17 said...

The first one is clearly a fox that has been eating roses! Teehee.

Anonymous said...

I believe the mystery cake is a broken heart with the inscription of Sweet down the middle, but who in their right mind makes a BROKEN heart on VALENTINE's Day????

spencer said...

that looks WAY more like Ohio than Texas. just sayin.

Adam said...

You know, I think the last one would be pretty wrecky even without the Valenstine. Those colours!

Adam said...

Oh and the first one? If you tilted it a bit, it MIGHT pass as an 8-bit crescent moon.

Katie H. said...

Thought: on the "E" gets all the love cake, maybe the "E" was originally an "L" because the wreckerator was going to write LOVE in the heart but then they realized that there wasn't enough room so they tried to fix it. I only thought of this because the "E" looks like it was added on to. Either way, the flowers and sprinkles are still ugly. And I can't get over the 2 heart CCCs. Horrible, horrible, horrible

bytehead said...

That first one looks more like Ohio. Ohio in early spring when the snow has melted leaving brown crud everywhere and the flowers are just starting to bloom. But that's me and my 40 years in Ohio.

Nulono said...

That's CLEARLY Ohio, not Texas!

Katie said...

Looks more like Ohio, to me!

Kristen said...

So I'm late on this post, but I found it very ironic that JUST as I was reading the part about the Jeopardy song playing, it started playing on tv. I felt the need to share that. :)

Anonymous said...

Actually, the top one looks a lot more like Ohio to me. And eek, I recognize the maker of the fifth one just from the price sticker on it (even though the name of the bakery has been carefully taken off).

Kimberly Wood said...

Mystery cake is definitely lips, with SWAK (sealed with a kiss) down the middle. The top of the lips is facing you.

Kimberly Wood said...

I correct myself. "Sweet" lips.

paula said...

it says 'Sweet' it's just sideways

Becky said...

I know this is well past 'Valenstine's Day', but I just noticed that the 'Lov-E' cake is actually a brownie platter covered with icing. The store label confirms this. Wow...just wow.

Anonymous said...

its a broken half of a heart and it says sweet. they were writing it vertically but they ran out of room and had to put the two "e"s next to eachother

Cupcakes Lady said...

Valenstien's Day cookie cake...How..and why? xx

Anonymous said...

The writing on the pink cupcake cake looks sort of like hiragana...