WARNING: Today's post is not family friendly, on account of it being a little TOO "family friendly." IF you knowwuddamean.
Ah, children. So innocent. So sweet.
So blissfully unaware of how much their castle cakes look like a gaggle of man cannons.
I believe this is from the Netherlands. (Eh? Eh?)Oh, oh! OR, if it were in Troy, then this would be a TROJAN castle.
(Get it? See what I did there? BOOYA.)
I'd say this customer got royally shafted:
[Zing!]I mean, just look at that top tower: totally cockeyed!
[Pow! Zam! Whap!]
Still, this next castle cake really can't be beat:
[Sha-ZAM!]Yep, that's some stiff competition, right there. Definitely has the upper hand.
[Rat-a-tat-tat! BzzzING! Ker-PLUEY! Eckie Eckie Eckie Eckie piTANG RoooBoing ezrowsurh]
[Rat-a-tat-tat! BzzzING! Ker-PLUEY! Eckie Eckie Eckie Eckie piTANG RoooBoing ezrowsurh]
Lauri, Lisa M., & Sarah H., they say "a man's home is his castle."
Frankly, I can't top that.
Also, 3 geek points if you correctly ID the Eckie Eckie line.
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Monty Python!
Monty Python, duh!
Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grrrrail!
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL, KNIGHTS WHO SAY (FORMERLY SAID) NI!
Oh good lord...
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (the Knights Who Say Ni)! Nice...
The Knight Who Say NEE!
Now, Bring me a shrubbery.
Normie
Poor, poor, little children. They will grow up and look back on their birthday and cringe, haha.
What a shame. The first cake would look sweet if not for the castle shapes. Or are they supposed to be mushrooms? (Was the baker on mushrooms?)
The "eckie" line is famous enough that I won't identify it directly. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to sharpen my herring.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
and the holy grail...
didn't everyone memorize that back in 8th grade?
Today was a cracker. Thanks for the laugh.
The first cake is a bit of a stretch of the imagination, IMHO, but the second cake ?!??!! I wouldn't raised, no pun intended, all kinds of h$&@ about, and def not paid for, let alone served to a large group.
Phallic Castle Cakes: Not Just a Cock and Bull Story
MP Holy Grail of course - "We are the Knights who say nee" until they become the knights who say that mess :P
WV: "mount" the knight needs a new mount? The knight needs to mount a few of them there castles? uhm- there is just too much to do with that one :P
"We are no longer the Knights who say NI!" well you know the rest. :)
Wow, those are some truly disturbing cakes. You only HOPE the children's minds haven't already been pulled into the gutter at a tender age and MAYBE they just think they're misshapen mushrooms. Reminds me of the cover art from The Little Mermaid...
Monty Python and the Holy Grail! Oh Dennis, there's some lovely filth over here!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, specifically, the Knights Who Used to Say "Ni," But Now Say, "Ecki Ecki Ecki..." etc..
Oh yes, I am a fan!
Gaggle of man cannons!! Hahahahaha!
Give us a hard one next time! Knights who until recently said NI and now say "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing Zow Zing!"
For extra geek points, I point out these knights also protect "peng" and "Neeeee-wom"!
I love that movie, and the cake wrecks are HILARIOUS. Silly castles...
Ni! made my morning, thanks :)
WE are no longer the nights who say Nih! We are the knights who say "ekki-ekki-ekki-ta-pang!!!" Monthy Phyton, of course. If you want to pass, you must bring a shrubbery :-D
Bring me a shrubbery...
shrubbery will yield another 17+ rated photo day
Is it just me, or on the second cake do the ivy tendrils on the lower "towers" kind of look like veins? Which, of course, just adds to the theme, I guess.
WV: Legiteri- The bakers need some therapy to make their cakes more legiteri.
Awesome post, I recognised the eckie eckie with a major facepalm but the post was especially funny :P Was in tears from your Netherlands quip xD
" gaggle of man cannons."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That is beyond funny.
I also really enjoy the comment that boasts "shrubbery will yield another 17+ rated photo day" Inspiration!
It's just a flesh wound.
Ahhhhhhhh!!!!
I'll not dignify the reference, simply ask for a shrubbery.
To hide behind from these 'man cannons'.
*snort* You've done it again.
~~Di
Must mention my wv was 'cones'... rather connective, don't you think?
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah! Laughing my head off and Geek Points too? Sa-weet! Loves me some Monty Python.
Oh Honey, You have to be a bit more archaic than that! Your fan base and Monty Python's has to be made up of at least 75% of the same people :)
Each day I look forward to my am wreck break.. today you have me in tears. Thank you.. Monty Python and the quest for the Holy Grail is one of my altime favs... Now I will have to watch it again tonight.
Sandy
You must bring us...a SHRUBBERY
LOL LOL man cannons...
Seriously, best post ever. ROFLMAO!!!
The Knights who say NI! I'm off to get a SHRUBERY!
The Knights who FORMERLY said Ni, obviously!
I saw "Spamalot" in Fayetteville, Arkansas - Home of the Arkansas Razorbacks. When the Knights who say "Ni" went into their "We are now the nights who say. . ." line they added "Whoooooooooo Pig Sooie" into the mix. I don't think many things in my life will amuse me more than King Arthur calling the hogs!! The crowd went wild, it was hilarious.
My main objection to the first one is the colour scheme. Purple towers, orange cake, blue flowers, blech.
wv: deoutabl The puremindedness of these wreckerators is deoutabl.
Monty Python! (Though I actually prefer Ni!)
I need a shrubbery!
oh, those glorious knights who say ... ni! that totally made my morning, and i am highly impressed, as i would have had no idea where to start spelling that.
Makes me wonder how I ever looked at a castle cake withOUT falling into the gutter.
And now, I probably never will be able to anymore. Gee, thanks.
Some call me....Tim.
There are even...veins...or what looks like veins, on the second one! How could they not notice???
I know I live in the gutter and all but I also know I am far from alone!
Monty python. :)
Love the "sound effects" during the post. hehe
TheSacredandtheProfane, totally missed the Ivy Veins. I had to go back and look at the second cake again.
aaah monty python is a lovely break from Power Point Presentations.
Excuse me while I try to wipe the cherry kool-aid off of my monitor...Need to remember to not take a drink before reading...
Monty Python! The Knights who say Ni!
Looks like these were inspired by the Little Mermaid castle. Remember that?
Are those veins on the second one??
WHERE do they put silver sprinkles on man cannons? I've never been to a Chippendales show, but maybe the idea came from them? I will have nightmares from the second one, with all those black cracks/veins, and the lovely gray icing waves at the base.
"You don't become a king just because some watery tart lobbed a sword at you. That's no basis for a system of government. Help! help! I'm being repressed!"
"eckie eckie ecki" -- spake by the Knights who say Ni, in Monty Python & the Holy Grail! Awesome!
I can't help but think of the cookies in "Death to Smoochy"
Some of those must have been intentional, dontcha think?
Many of your readers are forgetting that they are "now no longer The Nights Who Say Ni!"
Now I'm gonna *have* to watch all the clips on YouTube. Thanks for wasting 2 hours of my morning...
Perhaps if we build a large wooden badger?
Monty Python and Holy Grail, the Knights Who say Ni!
I don't believe we have any thing like that here in Troy.
This post has clarified for me just how many bad cakes are out there in the world. I mean, if you have a whole category of "castle cakes that look like penises," that really says something.
seriously, can you make a shirt with a picture of that cake on it and under neat that "gaggle of man cannons?"
because i'll totally buy it.
No thanks, we already got one.
the line is from the knights who say ni, except they don't say ni anymore
monty python and the holy grail
Perhaps these wreckorators need to spend some more time focusing on scientific deduction whereupon they will discover that the actual answer is 'duck' and not *ahem* well, you know.
geesh...get your mind out of the gutter :-P
oh and thanks for all the comments, now I'm gonna have all the Holy Grail movie going through my head ALL.DAY.LONG.
i'm not dead yet....
i'm getting betta!!!!...
:banghead
Oh, dear. Just...*shakes head*
(ha, when I read 'eckie eckie' I thought, "hmmm, I've heard that before" but I couldn't place it!)
Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni! Now we need to find some shrubbery for those castles!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, girl! SHRUBBERY!!!
The thing about these cakes for blissfully unaware children is that someday they WILL be aware. For example, today little Madysyyn is being served a purple gaggle of man cannons for her princess-themed 4th birthday party. Fast forward twenty years... she's going through family photos. Perhaps she's helping her mom sort through some of the accumulated clutter in her house. Perhaps her serious boyfriend is interested in seeing some photos of her childhood. Suddenly she stumbles upon a picture of herself smiling behind a gaggle of purple man cannons.
Safe to say the therapy bills, already high from being named "Madysyyn" will only trend upward. And that all future bachelorette parties she attends only serve as painful, painful reminders of this... incident.
Poor Madysyyn.
--kate
Oh my gosh, it's like looking at the cover of Little Mermaid all over again!
Single Dad Laughing
I think most, if not all, of those cakes would benefit greatly from the application of a Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch ... EACH.
I would think only the adults would see the "Men cannons" as children would have not seen anything like that yet. A lot of giggling going on by the growups at those parties. To-day a lot of the post made me laugh as will as your quips. Love this site.
Thank you so much for the great laugh this morning. I really needed this today! Your blog is the best!
Ack! Monty Python! I almost fell over from laughing when I read that!
Monty Python & the Holy Grail!
We are no longer the knights who say "Ni"!
I Love you for the Monty Python line - such a great line :D
Wow, from the thumbnail of the first one, I thought it had Diva Cups on the top!
Ah, penis puns. That's why we love you.
If you don't know that that quote is from Monty Python, you don't deserve the air you breathe!
Ah, the whimsy of childhood!
I still remember when I had a phallus, err...I mean, palace playset of my own.
Now, you get some serious props for also wedging in a "knowwhaddumean" comment in there as well. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.
I have to agree with the diva cup comment though... Icing can just be so hard to get the tip to come out right...
~Jenn in Forest Grove
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (The knights who until recently said Ni!)
unfortunately, I can spot a Monty Python quote from a mile away... ah, my wasted youth! ("AAAHH! I said 'it' ")
Gaggle of Man Cannons. All I could think was "pity they fire their balls off early and leave a big mess."
And in a strange twist of irony, my word verification is "conic."
WE ARE NO LONGER THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NII! You must cut down the tallest tree in the forest wiiiiiiith... a herring!!!
also, hehehe cockeyed hehehe
WV: unsmus. Unsmus always watch out for excessively "family friendly" wrecks.
*snort* I love the fact that the first...um..."castle" has obviously been to the local Planned Castlehood. There'll only be a 2% chance of the pitter-patter of little minarets coming from that kingdom, or at least that'll be the case if they roll them down the rest of the way...
I liked Kate's comment about "Madysyyn"!! Yeah, I can see children thinking the cake's a Disney-esque castle, while the grown-ups snicker away (enough to give a child a complex!). Then one day, the photos from the birthday will be a source of embarrassment. Perhaps part of the photo montage at her wedding? Life-long best friend tormenting her at her bridal shower?
But that first one... bad enough it looks like "man cannons". But purple, orange, blue, with silver sprinkles-- colour-blinded, clearly. (what, the cannons were soooo happy to be featured on Cake Wrecks they got excited and sprinkled themselves?!). (Note that you've got my mind now in the gutter!!).
Love the veins on the tilted pink-topped, round-tipped castle. Seriously, the wreckerator was so... innocent... they didn't realize what this looked like?
Monty Python and the sear for the Holy Grail!.......NI!
What about, "Biggus Dickus."
*collects her three geek points*
We are the knights who say.... NI!
So BAD!!!
Its from TEH KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI!
from Monty Python
Thank YOU so much. I laughed so hard at this post I had to stop reading and breathe. So rich with double meanings...I lost it on man cannons.
Had thought once about getting a castle cake kit...not now....
Joanie
Oh, c'mon, make it tougher! We are The Knights Who No Longer Say "NI!"
phew! I had a hard time fitting this one in.
The knights who formally said "Ni"
Somebody take Jen's keyboard away from her....She's going to pun us all to death....
Those look an awful lot like VEINS on the "towers" of the white castle with the pink "roofs"...
My high school is the Wilson Trojans :( the jokes never end about it.
Seriously, I feel like some of those were done on purpose :P
I loved the gaggle of man cannons from the Netherlands. Oh and you said 'it' in the post - twice. I counted. I think somewhere the Knights who no longer say "Ni" are cringing in horror.
Eeeeeeeeewww! The vines in the 2nd one look like veins!
OMG!! These are too funny! I wonder if there was a point where the bakers could see what was happening but it was too late to turn back. Now I need to go look at the pictures of my gingerbread castle and see if I accidently made some..you know...parts... Hahaha!! :)
Nice! Actually laughed out loud at this one:)
Hhaha doubled over laughing at the eckie eckie referance. LOVE IT XD
Also, that second castle is...uh...is...uh. Yeah, I'll just leave it that that.
This is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail right after King Arthur and Sir Didimore (did I spell his name right?) bring a shrubbery to the Knights who say Ni. The knights then announce that they no longer say ni but rather a new phrase, "Rat-a-tat-tat! BzzzING! Ker-PLUEY! Eckie Eckie Eckie Eckie piTANG RoooBoing ezrowsurh"
Like some others here, I was also hoping to keep thinking about mushrooms. Really, uh, wrong mushrooms.
Ni!
Does the answer of "my husband's text message ring tone" count? (aka, that one sound from Monty Python). Gonna have to send this one on to him to read!
This is why you use ice cream cones for tower toppers.
"We want....a SHRUBBERY!" LOVE that movie. Monty Python cracks me up!
the second one is anything but unintentional :-S
I think I need to go watch Monty Python. LIKE RIGHT NOW. XD
Those are pretty hardcore wrecks ;)
I request a recording of you doing the sound effects :)
I love you. But sometimes you just scare the crap out of me.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail! BAM!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail! Specifically, the Knights who formally said Ni!
C'mon Jenn... at least make it a *little* challenging!! ;)
MONTY PYTHON!
Oh GOSH! I sat here LOL'ing even louder with each comment I read! This was hilarious!
DK@ http://sweetsbyd.blogspot.com/
Twas the knights who say ni!
neeeeeeeeee--wom
*winces* I think people should only ask experienced cake makers to make turrets. I couldn't do much better than these!
WOW.
Oh dear lord, sometimes it pays to be oblivious ;)
Does this change the pronunciation of the "a" in cake to sound like "ah"?
/Cream filled?
I lvoe fairytales, despite their continuous repedativeness. Anyway, If I got handed a phalic castle like that, I'd wonder what else I was getting for my birthday. As a gay man, I might enjoy it.
Moreover, I'd prefer that if you are going to make a castle cake, I'd like my wreckorater to remember that bricks aren't rount, they're square. DUH!
Cake #3.. It's a... it's a ... a.... ROCKET SHIP! It's a rocket ship!
No comment, just WV:
shallyp
"Shallyp?"
"P'raps later."
They all seem to be circumcised also.
Wow...it's been a while since I stopped by. I sure did choose a terrific day to come back eh?
Yuck...
Oh where do I even begin.. dare I even comment on the one that leans? Or should I just leave my mind in the gutter lol. Some wreckerators just have to have dirty minds to put these on peoples cakes. I just wonder sometimes if they take evil pleasure in knowing someone will comment that they look like genitalia and are probably in back of the bakery laughing like hyenas.. I know I would be lol.
eckie eckie! knights who formerly said ni!
.... yes, i know it's already answered. but i DID pick it up immediately.
the phallic posts always make me laugh hard enough to spew liquids out my nose.
The Netherlands line had me cracking up all evening! Thank you!
I think the first two are possibly mushrooms. Definitely the second. Horribly wrong mushrooms. Oh my.
Oh no! Glitter! The herpes of the craft world! On edible phallic symbols! NOOOOOO!!!!!
[blink]
Suddenly, the Fireman Cake seems a pinnacle of propriety...
I wonder what the music at poor Madysyyn's party sounded like. The 1812 Overture, perhaps? Never mind. (I predict that by her 5th birthday, she will be beyond tired of hearing "Can I buy a vowel?")
If I'm ever forced to order a child's birthday cake (as opposed to having it made by someone I trust), I think I'll casually drop the letter sequence 'CPS' into the conversation, just to gauge the reaction.
Meanwhile, I wonder if the Lysol family of products includes eye drops. If not, I'll just have my retinas professionally cleaned.
"On second thought, let's NOT go to Camelot! It is a silly place."
Hilarious post!
WV... CANON.
I ain't kidding...
Yuck.....
I showed a coworker the pic of the second castle (the veiny one) and he just about passed out from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard...
That cockeyed one even has VEINS! Yoiks!
All I have to say to you, madam, is "IT!"
monty python and quest for the holy grail! NI!!!
"make it a nice shrubbery - not too expensive"
As Peggy Hill would say . . . "Hap - piness"
While these are funny, they don't top the nasa shuttle cake in my mind. Heck they don't even have a blatantly innuendo laced inscription to go along with them.
... and bring me a SHRUBBERY.
I think this is the first time I have read the phrase, “a gaggle of man cannons.”
Hahaha, absolutly reminds me of Death to Smoochie. At least one other person thought of that too. Well here it is if you want to watch it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvMefyDa7Yg
The first cake is OK, if you have innocent eyes only looking at it but the second cake looks like it should have been for a bachelorette party especially with the little pink tops.
You win a bajilluion internets for the Monty Python reference.
I love the phrase "gaggle of man cannons"! Laughed for a good 15 minutes about that one!
monty python and the holy grail!! only my favorite movie ever!
Oh, Knights Who... Until Recently Said, "NI"... These are some... highly inappropriate shrubberies... er... cakes!
WV: stypono - ONE LETTER from being entirely appropriate! ONE. LETTER.
Oh the humanity ...
Shroom cakes.. Yummy!!
Man canons! HILARIOUS! Snorted coffee all over my keyboard... time to call the IT department...
It's "obviously" the song Jenny is singing Nekkid on stage in Forest Gump!
wv:smopht... That castle has nice smopht edges. OR His tower went smopht....
Stupid Gutter! Love the gaggle of man cannons! Its my new letterhead.
HAHAHAHAHA! I was reading this with my 4 year old daughter who just could NOT figure out why I was laughing at these! She kept trying to figure out what was so wrong with the "castles"...
Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail. Knights who formerly said "Ni!".
Seriously, the poo cakes are usually my faves & make me laugh the most but these are hysterical. Glad I haven't put on my mascara or I'd have laughed/cried it all off. Do the decorators really not see it or am I just twisted? Good grief!