Honestly? No idea. And with this blog being about purely visual gags, I'm sure most of you - like me - don't really care what the wrecks taste like.
However, a few of our readers have discovered that, sometimes, the true Wreck can be found on the inside:
There's more than one way to level a cake.(Pass the icing, Beth D.)
Still - and here's a little foreshadowing for you - at least everything there is edible.
Heheh. Aheh. Heh.
Oh, yes.
AAAUUGGHH!!Not to be cutting, but finding scissors in your birthday cake is shear madness!
Poor Amy L.; the store accused her of planting these in the cake herself. And really, you can see why; just look at all the fame and fortune she's acquired since!
(That was sarcasm, y'all; she didn't get anything.)
Here's a tip from Bella, the good sport:
Even a cake this yummalicious...
Yummm
Oopsie!
Well, we all need more fiber in our diets, right, Bella?
..and the paper could have been so thick that the caterers couldn't cut through it, resulting in messy globs of red velvet cake which they had to scoop onto plates to serve. And it could have cost $500.
Yep, that would definitely have been worse. Right, Stacey F.?
Well, we all need more fiber in our diets, right, Bella?
And really, it could have been worse. It could have been someone's wedding cake...
..and the paper could have been so thick that the caterers couldn't cut through it, resulting in messy globs of red velvet cake which they had to scoop onto plates to serve. And it could have cost $500.Yep, that would definitely have been worse. Right, Stacey F.?
(Sorry I don't have a pic of the inside - but then, the outside's not so great either, is it?)
So, my dear Wreckies, the next time you're in the market for a cake, remember: looks aren't everything. Oh, and if you're in need of some craft supplies, you might just get lucky. (Fingers crossed!)
- Related Wreckage: Wrecks on Display
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95 comments | Post a Comment
These are more depressing to me than the ugly-on-the-outside ones. At least those probably taste good and don't have anything wrong with them on the inside.
Messing with the taste and whatnot is wrong.
It's Mardi Gras for everyone!!!
*Thinking plastic babies aren't so bad anymore*
One question: in what step of the cake making process are scissors required to be so close in proximity that they could so easily get swept up in all the cake-baking madness???
I *GASPED* when I saw the scissors cake. That's horrible! I wouldn't be able to eat that cake wondering what other things might have fallen in there undetected. Ew.
Maybe the baker thought that the birthday cake was for someone in the slammer. Then it might have been a happier surprise.
Is the scissor cake like the Mardi Gras King Cake? Does the person who gets the scissors have to bring the next cake?
Are you serious, there are people selling cakes that look like that. I totally find that offensive. $500.00 for that cake... my goodness.
Scissors in a child's birthday cake? And then the store has the sheer gall to blame it on the woman who bought it? Crazy. They wouldn't be getting my business anymore.
I don't EVEN want to know how scissors end up inside a cake.
If you spend $500 on a cake it shouldn't be lopsided. Just sayin'.
something to ponder:
is the last cake a really bad regular cake...or a really bad topsy turvy cake? bottom line...really bad.
Poor Stacey re: that wedding cake. Personal experience makes me suspect I know the bakery that catered to her special day, but what are the odds of THAT? Pretty good odds, probably, since the attitude I got for my own troubles was, "This cake is expensive! Therefore it is FABULOUS!" Nevermind the only aspect they even came close on was using the right filling. One day, I'll get a protest group together and go stand outside that guy's shop, I swear.
"Oh, and if you're in need of some craft supplies, you might just get lucky. (Fingers crossed!)"
Absolutely brilliant, Jen! I do need a pair of scissors....
Arabelle
www.todhuntertastic.blogspot.com
Is the scissors like the king cake? When you find the baby jesus, you're supposed to have good luck that year? when you find the scissors, you're going to cut someone?
About the paper.. something like that happened do my dad once when he did catering. The brides aunt made the cake... in Hawaii... and brought it with her. BEAUTIFUL cake. But because it was traveling from Hawaii... to New Jersey... she used ROYAL. ICING. They used the turkey carver to cut the cake..
Wow, when you get good service, they say you may tell a couple of people. With bad service, it's nine or ten.
Scissors in a cake, which then the store tries to blame on the customer? Tens of thousands! (I would too!) And the BBB, and my attorney...
A little apology goes a long way, America! What are these people thinking??
We once had a cake that tasted like palmolive. As in the person washing the bowl for the icing did not rinse so well. I did get my money back when I handed them the cake and told them to try it.
I once found part of a rubber glove in my daughter's birthday cake. Or, rather, she did. When it wound up in her mouth.
She hasn't eaten cake since.
Well, they're all busted now!
I like the icing best - can I please have a slice of the top one?
Next time I can't find my scissors, I guess I'll look in the cake.
I can deal with everything but the scissors Yikes!
Just one more comment:
Red Velvet wedding cake? Bleah.
WV: nolath. At least there was no lath in the cake.
since i'm a total icing addict, that first cake is the best! i've always thought the icing should be thicker than the actual cake.
shaking my head at the scissors in the cake wreck. not sure why, but the "pants on the ground" song/rap comes to mind:
scissors in the cake
scissors in the cake
lookin' like a fool
with yo scissors in the cake.
sorry. my mind is a terrible thing. :-)
@ Gary - our wedding cake top was red velvet and it was FABULOUS! Don't poo poo what you haven't tried!
I made my niece's 1st birthday cake and very nearly made the smash cake with a Wilton flower nail stuck inside (I had unknowingly set the cake on top of the nail on the cutting board). I did find it before I iced the cake, but I could just imagine if the baby had reached into her cake and pulled out a metal spike!
The first cake looks like a dream come true to me! I've always loved a little cake under my icing!
And regarding the second cake, well, haven't surgeons been known to make the same mistake?
Oh man! The scissors cake - bad, bad, bad! I'd have been LIVID to be accused by the bakery of planting them in the cake myself! Oh my goodness.
My parents' wedding cake had not parchment paper but a layer of think cardboard between the top of the cake and the icing. Apparently it was quite comical watching them try to cut through the cardboard. Unfortunately I've never seen pictures, only heard the story.
Too bad I don't have pictures. My wedding cake had cardboard *under* the fondant to provide structural support for the upper layers rather than countersunk dowels. Of course the cake fell over. And of course the baker maintained that it wasn't his fault.
Cripes! Those scissors could be evidence from a crime! Let's hope they weren't used to stab someone...
I need scissors!!!! 61
Sorry I just had to do that!
The ones with the parchment paper remind me of something in the Good Eats episode about the coconut cake. Alton brown is putting together the coconut layer cake and as he pulls off the parchment he make a yuck face then says, "never forget to take that off...ever." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG1SC1avp0Q&feature=related
On the subject of a King Cake, they are suppose to have something hidden inside them so that isn't really that bad. If you are expecting the plastic baby inside it means you won't usually end up eating it my mistake. A pair of scissors inside a cake is much more worrisome. Not only is it not likely to be clean it is also sharp.
Wow. Scissors and other hardward I would expect to find in those autopsy cakes. *DO NOT* want to find paper in colon/intestinal cakes.
The top cake was my birthday cake from a year ago. And while it might seem like all that icing was great, it wasn't. The cake underneath it wasn't cooked properly. No amount of icing can make up for that...
Rock...Paper...Scissors,
I wouldn't want to be to the one who finds a rock in my cake!
@Joan D.... I am seething with anger on your behalf.
A shop I worked at for a short time tried to pull the same tactic as cake #1. It was some young chick that didn't care, until I called in three other people to look at what she was doing and then she finally had the grace to admit it was awful.
As far as the scissors cake, I would have kept the scissors in the cake for the photo, and then photographed the scissor-shaped impression that they left in the cake. I can't believe the store tried to say she was lying. She should blow up that photo and stand next to their bakery counter.
Now I wish you'd tell us which bakery the scissor cake was so we can all avoid it.
I wish I had taken a picture of the grocery-store cake we had last week. Its wreckage would have fit in perfectly here. This abomination was iced in BOTH whipped topping (the bain of my cake-loving existence) THEN butter cream! You're not fooling me, RITE-SHOP (some names have been changed to product the guilty). Just to verify this wreckage, I checked the packaging. There is a distinctive 'Buttercream' sticker on the top, clearly an afterthought. BUT on the side, the actual bakery tag said "Marble Whipped" which had been conveniently partially covered by the PAID sticker.
I could tell by just looking at the slice I had that the icing was a WRECK! RUINED buttercream!! gah-ross.
I made a totally unprofessional-looking cake for my daughter's birthday a couple of weeks ago, but that's okay, since I don't claim to be a professional. But I DID almost leave the parchment pan liner on the bottom of the cake layer--fortunately my husband was helping me assemble the layers and noticed before we plopped it onto the frosted/filled bottom piece. So I can totally see how that might happen. I must say, though, the cake tasted very yummy and the 9-year old girls loved that it was totally encased in sprinkles!
Yah know if they had to throw something in a cake, i would be glad it is a huge scissors and not say small screws or hairs or needles or tooth picks.
Cripes someones kids could get really hurt.
No way in HELL is that wedding cake worth $500.
Maybe the scissors cake was really meant for a convict in prison? I mean who would suspect the child's birthday cake?
"B. F. D. said...
The top cake was my birthday cake from a year ago. And while it might seem like all that icing was great, it wasn't. The cake underneath it wasn't cooked properly. No amount of icing can make up for that..."
I really feel for you there. Man that 'cake' doesn't look like it would have made a good pancake. In fact I've seen pancakes thicker then it! That is terrible that they tried to sell you a cake that fell in the oven! That is just inexcusable.
Last Friday I actually took part in preventing a cake wreck. I was at the supermarket getting something else at the bakery when a woman asked to have something written on the cake. The person at the bakery(it was after 7) was not the cake decorator and didn't actually do the writing on the cake but handed the woman the piping bag to write what she wanted on the cake herself. She was struggling to even hold the bag right to get the frasting to even come out let alone write on the cake. I came over and offered to help and when I picked up the bag and gave it a quick twist and started writning the looked at me and asked. "how can you do that so easily?" I replied, "Lots of practice." I wrote what she wanted on the cake very neatly and with a smile she was on her way and I went back to my business(getting cake boards to put the cakes I make myself on)
So here is a really good tip cake lovers, don't go to get the cake late in the day as no one actually competent is going to be there.
Wow, the frosting on that first cake approaches CCC proportions!
My mom and I once made a cake that was intentionally inedible. The birthday was for the only man in her office and he was a National Guard Reservist on some weekends. We took a 3 inch thick piece of couch cushion foam the size of a sheet cake and frosted it. It was all in camo with a river through the middle and little plastic army guys fighting their way across the cake (we cut one in half to make him look like he was swimming across the river). It was lovely! Took it to work, lit the candles, samg happy birthday (with bagpipe accompaniment), then handed him the knife to cut the cake. He put the knife in and tried to cut down, and it just went ::sproing:: and popped right back up. He looks around at all of us smiling, says "heh heh.." like he meant to do that, and tries again. He took several stabs at it before scraping back some of the icing and realizing that he had been HAD. We all laughed and brought out a real cake. He refused to even try cutting it. Sometimes a horrible cake can be really funny!
WV: rembo = rembo to check your cake carefully!
I hope these people get their money back.
RE the scissors cake: name and shame, seriously.
This is why I don't eat cake for breakfast anymore... even if it looks like a deflated pancake with icing on top. (My bum thanks you, though.)
But with the whe whole scissors in the cake thing, and then blaming it on the woman? WRONG, WRONG WRONG!
Ah, this reminds me of a birthday where I was visiting family in Florida and they always got their cakes and things from this fantastic bakery. Every time I had tried the really good fudge cake before, it was fantastic and so since we were visiting for my birthday that's what they got me.
It was all fine and good until we discovered a layer of parchment paper just underneath the chocolate icing. Talk about a messy ordeal.
On my Mother's 50'th birthday I couldn't find the time to bake her a cake so I went to the bakery and ordered one. When we cut it open, there was a HUGE bubble in the cake, making a chasm the size of two fists. I took a picture and bought it with me to the bakery and requested they give me 30% of the money back for the missing cake I didn't receive though I paid for. They didn't give me any money back, but I did get a free CCC of my choice. Bastards.
I'm curious how the heck a pair of scissors got into a cake without anyone noticing (or DID they?). It's definitely a health code violation.
@Kate in Italy @ 3:59...
Funniest post today, you made me laugh out loud :) Bastards!
wv vifib: I'd have gone into vifib if I ever found scissors in my cake! Be still my heart!
Re: The "scissors surprise"...
The store accusing her of putting those scissors into the cake is to me the moral equivalent of the surgeon accusing his patient of putting those forceps in there...
Criminey... People make mistakes. Just step up and fess up.
I guess I would ask where in the cake the scissors are. It looks like there was some sort of filling in the bottom and maybe that's where it was? If it was in the top layer I can see why the bakery might thing they came in after it left the store. I used to work in a bakery and we didn't even have scissors in the area for most of my stint there. If you wanted to open something you used a knife. Maybe that's what happened to them.
Also @Dan ; late in the evening is no excuse. I worked night shift at a bakery and my very first night the trainer pulled out a piece of parchment paper and a bag of icing and had me writing things out (including proper spellings!). Our decorator also only printed on any cake going for general display so we could personalize it without to obvious a change in handwriting. Now my sister works at that store and I've told her if they ever have a problem like that call me and I will drive up there.
Ah, America, where cakes are wrecks inside and out!
At least the scissors were big enough to be noticed once the cake was cut. Someone at the bakery must reeeaallly hate little kids.
Aww that's sad. Wreck on the outside is funny, wreck on the inside is sad.
Oh Jen, I love your writing style. I come for the cake but stay for the jokes.
Scissors in the cake? That's akin to a surgeon accidentally leaving a scalpel inside a patient! I can't believe they accused her of planting them there.
That first cake may not look pretty, but I personally LOVE the frosting to cake ration on the left side! Mmmmmm!
the wedding cake wreck reminded me of one that happened when i worked in a bakery (bread slicer and putting the rolls in the bags).
the bridezilla wanted a wedding cake. no problem, pick out a design. oh no, she wanted a full assemble-on-site cake...with pound cake.
you cant do a cake with the pretty little columns with POUND cake, its too heavy, it will collapse. no, it must be lemon pound cake, its the brides favorite. perhaps a small decorated one on the side? no, she DEMANDED in LOUD words that it must be pound cake.
the store manager (yay kroger) insisted that the bakery sell her what she wanted. the bakery manager insisted that the bridezilla sign a waver saying in VERY clear language that the bakery took no responsibility WHEN the cake collapsed, as this was advised against by the staff. bridezilla signed it smugly, saying that they were WRONG.
the cake was made, and frosted. the mother of the bride picked it up and was shown how to assemble the cake on site.
the day after the wedding, the bride brought a box of...smashed cake into the bakery, and polaroids of the collapsed cake and demanded DEMANDED that she be refunded her money PLUS damages.
the store manager was all for the refund till he heard that she had signed a waiver. and that the bakery refused to take the hit in the sales for that day, because they were following HIS orders.
bye bye bride. no moneys for you. and maybe next time you LISTEN when someone tells you "that wont work".
My mom tried to call in a birthday cake order last weekend at our local Giant. She only got as far as saying "yellow cake". The nitwit in the bakery dept said she only had white icing, but if mom wanted yellow she could try to spray it. Mom hung up the phone. I would have said OK, just to see what I'd actually get.
So that covers paper and scissors - any cakes with rocks in 'em? (Ugh, I hope not.)
Wow. I can't imagine finding scissors in a cake. I'm almost germaphobic too, so I'm imagining all the germs on the scissors that got absorbed into the cake, and everyone ate it!
@Terry Lee -
Your "lookin' like a fool" comment made me laugh so hard I cried.
Which is, as they say, icing on the....oh never mind.
One time I had a dream where I ate the parchment paper and then I woke up and I realized that I ate the parchment and that it wasn't a dream...
The worst part was when I woke up and had no clue why my hair had frosting in it and where my cake cutting sword went.
Anyway, the point of this rambling is that you can never judge a book by the cake that's in it.
Who doesn't love a surprise inside their cake?! *shudder*
$500 for that cake?! Goodness! And scissor on a cake?! I can't imagine.
Jules
Soloden.Com
The Brown Mestizo
Anon wrote:
"I once found part of a rubber glove in my daughter's birthday cake."
Gulp! Let's hope for your sake that it was part of a rubber GLOVE.
I may never eat food again. Ever.
WV: Preen
What I feel like doing right now. I'll get my feathers all shiny and clean and never, ever look at a cake again.
I can't believe someone would pay 500 bucks for a lopsided wedding cake. I would have gone bridezilla on that baker lol. And scissors in a birthday cake? What on earth are these people thinking? Did they not go "I wonder where my scissors are?" or just shrug and hope no one would notice.. man now I really think I should bake my own cake.
With all the red gel stuff the scissors look bloody. EW
Oh man..
My friend ordered me a birthday cake last July from a local bakery. It was actually quite pretty, if simple... Black and red icing roses and a large coffin. Why? My friend asked if they could make a Jigglypuff cake (yes, the Pokemon) but when he got the price quote for that he decided it wasn't worth it and so he opted for a funeral themed cake. Ah... My friends are amazing.
Anyway. After a lovely dinner we cut into it and.... Found we'd gotten a marble cake. Marbled with mold. Green and blue mold. All through it.
The worst part? The bakery was unapologetic and refused to admit they'd used something that was, frankly, not exactly fresh. They wouldn't even refund it. And this wasn't a shady place (well ok, it is now)... They're pretty well liked around here but I have not been back since.
As a former cake decorator, I will say that in my bakery we used scissors quite often for quite a few things, from cutting tip bags to placing roses on cakes and some other little things. They were only used for those specific purposes, and were cleaned everyday the same as all the other tools we used. It's totally unacceptable that it was in the cake, and so wrong on so many levels, but they are pretty common in some bakerys...
and THIS is why I make the cakes in my family for small occasions. lol They may not be the prettiest cakes out there but I know they are clean, scissor-free and yummy.
Rashelle
This reminds me of my own wedding cake. My husband's aunt made the cake and the bottom tier broke in transit from VA to NC. She iced and decorated a Styrofoam round and warned the caterers. I guess they didn't listen because half of our guests were served Styrofoam cake.
I used to work for a large bakery in New Mexico and a customer returned a loaf of bread that had a mouse baked into it. We didn't acccuse her of planting the mouse, but very quickly refunded her money and prayed she wouldn't sue.
Wow. I've been jealous of all the cakes with frosting roses and pretty designs, but now I am really really glad I have to make all my own cake, because I always know what's inside it.
Our office got a cake for a baby shower, and it was an enormous layered sheet cake. Imagine our surprise when the cake cutter's knife got stuck on what turned out to be a foot-long, wooden spatula/spoon. I believe our next shower cake was free :)
i am a cake decorator & worked at kmart's bakery. decorators use scissors to take the flowers off the flower nails & place on the cake. we used much smaller scissors than what was in that one cake though. that just blows my mind that they were in that cake. scissors do sit very close to a cake when being decorated but it is amazing that they were in the cake. our cake came pre made & frozen & we cut the 1/2 sheets down to whatever size we needed so scissors could never go any further than the icing which would have been very noticeable. most likely those scissors were used to open a bag of mix or something & probably fell into the cake batter or in the pan before it went into the oven. it would have sunk very fast in the batter.
on another note of the paper being left on. i was training a newbie & our cakes got flipped out of the box frozen onto the board & the paper needed to be peeled off the bottom which then became the top. it was very noticeable, well so we thought. the newbie was left to base ice cakes & the next day i came in to find a cake that was brought back. it was a church function & she apparently didnt peel the paper off the 1/4 sheet cake & it was iced & decorated. when they tried to cut into it, the entire surface of the cake's icing went down into the crack with the knife. they were given a refund fully & she got yelled at of course. she didnt last long.
if you sit & think of the horrors that could be happening to your food in the service industry, you would never eat again. from the factory making foods to the cooks & servers, anything could be happening to it!
pretty sickening
What's with the scissors? Someone breaking out of preschool?
Okay, scissors in a cake beat out the metal bolt I once found in my lasagna...they win!
(And I too want to know just HOW that accidentally happened...)
I remember the horror on my 10th birthday, opening the cake box to find a bright shiny red Lee Press On Fingernail sitting on top of my cake like some nasty and obscene cake topper. When we made our way back to the store to return it, the girl claimed that we put it there ourselves. (even though she had a suspicious bandage on one of her fingers, and the other 9 were covered with long red lee press on claws.)
Ok in defense of bakers scissors are around bakeries a lot as you are constantly cutting parchment paper to line cake pans (of course many bakers are lucky enough to have slaves---er I mean prep staff to do that for them).
And if you use a lot of plastic flotsam you probably use scissors for that.
Also sometimes for doilies and other decorations one might normally have on or near a cake, or other desserts
Scissors are also used for opening huge bags of flour, sugar, etc. Anyway there were always scissors.
But that is NOT and excuse for dropping them into cake batter and not noticing!
ahhh yes. The extra icing on a cake. It's how my grandmother would try and cover the fact that she had burned the cake because she had been yapping on the phone or with the neighbour too long to realize it was time to take it out. Slap on extra icing and no one will be the wiser? yeah...
I think that scissors cake was supposed to be sent to a prison....
Recovery Actor, what's wrong with Royal icing on a wedding cake? That's traditional over here. I do question what you'd have to do to the icing to make it uncuttable. I mean, you'd have to make it super viscous and layer it on very thickly. Had she put a layer of marzipan under the icing, or just tried to do it /all/ in icing? Had she added any lemon juice or glycerin?
I just don't see how this would happen. Unless American knives are generally very small and weak.
Our wedding cake had cardboard right under the icing ...we went to cut the cake together and couldn't do it. Funniest part is that wedding coordinator (who did not order the cake) knew exactly what the problem was and what to do about it (she told us to cut under the cardboard)...so she had obviously seen this happen before!
Actually, that's not the funniest part. The funniest part is when, which trying to remove the top tier, the person who was moving it lost their balance. The top tier went flying and was caught deftly in mid air by our best man, to which my husband replied "The force is strong with this one" (their "bachelor party" was going to see Star Wars Episode I so that was perfect)
I can't believe the store had the nerve to accuse the patron of planting the scissors herself!! (Tacky!!)
Being a cake decorator myself, as soon as I saw the picture I knew they belonged to whoever made the cake. I have a couple of pairs of those same "school scissors" and use them for taking icing roses off the nail and placing them onto the cake.
Never have I ever misplaced them in a cake though!!!!
OMG, lol on the 'mouse-filled' cake Pixie
My husband and I had a military wedding and used his sword to cut the first piece of cake. I have a picture of me with a grimace on my face as we tried to cut the cake. We discovered that the baker put a hard plastic support on the layer and iced over it. We were trying to cut through a quarter inch piece of plastic! Ultimately we cut below the plastic and people got pieces of cake without icing on the top.
Susan, that's actually the RIGHT way to make a layer cake: the plastic supports the next layer (or the cake topper if it's the uppermost layer), and small wooden dowels inside the cake itself support the plastic. (I do hope you're exaggerating about the quarter-inch, though; usually they're quite a bit thinner than that.)
The person who made the cake should have either told you this or not covered the plastic completely with frosting, though. (An exceptionally nice caterer, like my mom, would have given you an extra tub of frosting to touch up the cake after removing the plastic support).
Wow! You gotta be pretty dang talented and creative to come up with and design the cakes that these folks have made or should I say "baked"
I can't believe some decorators let cakes go out like these ones. I hope I never did... ;)
perhaps the scissor cake was really meant to go to a prison...
I feel bad now for all the times ive used icing to even out a cake thats gone a bit wonky.... Also for the times when my cupcakes are a tad burnt but the icing hides it.
At least i dont charge for my cakes. My friends and family get to enjoy my wonderful creations for free and theyre only a choking hazard to those with dairy allergies.
Katherine S
Omg I know another bakery that left scissors in the cake and then one time when someone was ordering a cake they asked what type of filling they had, when told of the fillings they asked if they also had scissor filling.. haha
Joining the party a bit late, but did the scissor baker get a job as a doctor?
About 15 years ago an Uncle of mine went in for some gastric surgery. About 3-4 months after the successful surgery he went back complaining of severe cramps. Well, lo and behold, yep you guessed it, they found a pair of surgical scissors inside him. They showed up like a bright Christmas tree on a dark night inside him. Needless to say, they were scrambling to have him not sue them. Lucky for them, he was a nice guy and did not sue but I've often wondered with so many people how that would even be possible. Now I know there are unemployed bakers becoming doctors. eeegaad!
The mysterious red stuff on the scissors doesn't make finding them in a cake any less scary O.O