Darth's Greatest Hits

Cake Wrecks reader Jessica H. has a yearly tradition with us: she sends us her daughter's amazing Darth Vader mash-up birthday cake, and we post it.

You might remember little Sarah's 4th birthday cake:

(This was Sarah's idea, by the way. Coolest 4-year-old ever? I'm thinking YES.)

Or her fifth birthday cake:

Ok, so it kind of looks like someone sat on it. But you have to admit: the mental image of Vader swatting at Tinkerbell with his light saber is pretty darn epic.

Anyway, Sarah recently celebrated her sixth birthday, and I think you'll agree it was her best Vader mash-up cake yet:

Darth Vader, riding a My Little Pony over a rainbow.

Oh, and the Pony has a Death Star on her butt.

Frankly, just the description is made of win.

All of these cakes were made by their local Dairy Queen, and this latest masterpiece was hand-piped by "a young guy who can't have been over 19 years old," and who was apparently quite worried that he didn't get all the details quite right.

Proving there may be hope for the nation's bakeries, after all.


Many thanks again to Jessica H., and also a belated "Happy Birthday" and "May the Force be with you," to my new favorite geek girl, Sarah, who I hear was super excited to see her first two cakes on the blog. Lookin' forward to seeing what you dream up for next year, Sarah! (And may I suggest...Rainbow Brite?)

Come to the Dark Side: We Have Cake

Could this be the coolest shower cake EVER?

I think so-ooo! [sing-song voice]

Seriously, let me count the ways this cake kicks every other baby shower cake's butt:

1) Darth friggin' Vader is holding an adorable little beribboned baby girl on it. Really, we could just stop there. (But don't worry; we won't.)

2) Airbrushing that's actually... pretty? [gasp] Wait, you mean that's actually possible?!?

3) Best. Use of sprinkles. Ever. Baby want sprinkles? Baby gets sprinkles!

4) The lettering! The outline! The ruffly border! The itty-bitty baby bottle!!!

[pauses to catch breath]

5) Say, did I mention that Darth Vader is holding a baby on it?

Case closed. Maximum awesomeness has been reached.


Well, until someone makes a cake with SPOCK holding a cute baby girl, that is. Aw yeah.

Many thanks to Erica for sharing her kickin' cake, and to Woullet Bakery for making it.

May The Fourth Be With You

So for some reason I started Wrecky Wedding Week before realizing that today is Star Wars Day. Whoops! Can't let something like that go by uncelebrated, now, can I? But I also wanted to stick to my wedding cake theme, so...

BEHOLD!!

He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is...Darth Vader!!
On your Precious Moments wedding cake.
Just 'cuz.

(P.S. Whoever did this is my hero.)

[NOTE: THIS IS NOT A WRECK. I just thought it was funny, and it's a wedding cake with a Star Wars tie-in. So...yeah. Sometimes I post well-made cakes that I find funny. I'm sorry if this confuses you. It will be alright; we'll get through this together. Unless you start complaining about how well-made these cakes are. Then you'll be alone. So, so alone. (Unless someone else complains - at which point you'll BOTH be alone, together. [kinky])]

Another great topper:

Just don't ask which one is the Wookiee.

You *have* seen the dead Tauntaun wedding cake by now, right? Well, just in case...

(Via Great White Snark, The Official Star Wars Blog, and pretty much the entire Internet.)

This was actually made by one of my all-time favorite cake artists: Courtney from Cake Nouveau. Yes, it has entrails. Yes, it's disturbing on pretty much every level there is. But - BUT! - Courtney also posed for this picture:

And that makes it alllll better. [big geeky grin] Love ya, Courtney!
Please don't shoot me.

And finally, may the force be with us:

...because with this much black fondant, we are going to need it.

Also, they really should do something about those bulkhead doors that slide down. Ouch.

Sam B., Susan E., & Clare, are any of you seeing a white top hat under Vader there? Or is that just me?

Oh, and for more hilarious Star Wars wreckage (with some Sweets mixed in) check out the guest post I did last month for Neatorama here. It's hilarious. Trust me.

CW's Biggest Fans?

If you want me to get a huge goofy grin on my face, just send me a picture like this:

Amy P. made this hilarious - and yet absolutely adorable - Wreckplica (see the original here) for a friend's baby shower. I think she greatly improved upon the design, don't you?

I love how they just moved the limbs in towards the center as they served it, too:

[snicker]

I also got an e-mail from Rose this week. Rose tells me that she and her hubby Paul are CW's #1 fans, and so for their wedding reception they teamed up with another CW fan, Stacie - who happens to be a professional baker - and designed THIS beauty:


Don't miss the little carrots on the sides- those are Rose's favorite part. The "Rise n Pail" is a thoroughly butchered version of their names, by the way, and "Happy Weeding" is an homage to this classic Wreck. And, of course, there's the bizarre photo montage - that's a work of art in itself.

And while I'm at it, I can't believe I never got around to posting what Wreck's reader Mary Beth made:

How's that for loyalty - she even listed the site address!! Mary Beth, you are a Wreck star, no doubt about it. (For the Wreck, go here.)

I have lots more fan-made goodies stashed away, but here are just a few more favorites:

Kristi B. made this during a cake class. The only thing better than a Wreckplica is a little Wrecky lingo! (Next stop: Webster's.)

And finally, with a CW homage cake to end all CW homage cakes, we have Katy N.'s submission:

A little context: there are apparently a lot of Wreckies at Katy's workplace, so when the time came to throw a party for four ladies who were getting married, they decided to incorporate as many of their favorite Wrecks into one cake as possible (plus a 4-headed bride). They printed out all the relevant blog entries and found a willing (and surprisingly skilled) decorator at a local bakery.

So, how many Wrecks do YOU recognize?

(Hint: he's on a bear skin rug. Bigger hint: go here.)

Remember the infamous Fireman cake?


And - could it be? Yes, yes it could! - the Cake Head Diet Aid!!

(That's a picture of one of the grooms.)

And don't forget Darth Vader, the "At least you're pretty" line, and all the "lovely" airbrushing. Wow. You guys really outdid yourselves, Katy - and kudos to the decorator for playing along so well!


- Related Wreckage: Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops

Cake Wrecks: The Music Video

To fully appreciate the amazing awesomeness of today's fan feature, you need to be familiar with the Lazy Town song and video, "Cookin' By the Book." Don't know it? Then go here to watch the clip - it's surprisingly catchy.

Ok, everyone caught up? Good. Now, behold: WRECKIN' BY THE BOOK!



This inspired homage was written by Carrie Dahlby for The Funny Music Project, a regular contributor to the Dr. Demento show. (You can't ask for better credentials than that, can you?) This group of genius musicians publishes new comedy songs and/or videos every week, and if you head over there now you can download "Wreckin' by the Book" for free!

I recommend playing it over and over again until your kids beg for mercy. Then make up a little dance to go with it. Something I can do. So, lots of awkward swaying and off-beat clapping. Yeah. That'd be awesome.

A great big wrecky "THAK YOU" to Carrie, Luke, and their whole madcap team for making my week. You guys wreck AND rock.

And because they're hilarious and must be read to be fully appreciated, here are the lyrics:

Shoebox:
I pile on the frosting
In brown and fuchsia lumps
This work is so exhausting
That my spelling talent slumps

Chris:
I'll wish you "heppy bertty"
Or "Happy Hallydays"
Or "Happy Falker Satherhood"
For this year's Father's Day...

Carrie:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake
Just be a little lazy
Don't gotta do the cooking by the book
Just make it weird and crazy
Never use a classy recipe
Just gob on frosting daisies
If you throw away your cooking book, then you'll wreck a cake
We've got our Cake Wreck made
Our Carrot Jockeys cake
Finally it's time to wreck a cake

Devo:
Wrecking cakes has its own science
Quotation marks abound
Decorate with raw defiance
Making chocolate fecal mounds

Wyngarde:
Don't tell me "I want sprinkles"
If that is what you want
I'll squeeze out "I want sprinkles"
In a pretty frosting font

Carrie:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake
Cake wrecks dot com will tell you
You also gotta buy her funny book
That Amazon will sell you
You do not hafta be the "Ace of Cakes"
Just make a fondant fish stew
If you do the wreckin' by the book, then you'll wreck a cake
On Superbowl Sunday
We'll make a wrecky cake
Finally it's time to wreck a cake
And on our wedding day
We'll make a wrecky cake
Finally it's time to wreck a --

Luke:
Break it down, Jen! Show all bakeries why
They should have a spelling test before hiring some guy!
Grab some cupcakes, slather icing inch high,
Make a Curious George that'll make a kid cry!
That pink tarantula? That's a cake wreck!
That daffodil pony? That's a cake wreck!
That flaming armadillo? That's a cake wreck!
That groom's slab of beef? That's a cake wreck!

Carrie: Luke:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake - What!?
Just be a little lazy - Okay!
Don't gotta do the cooking by the book - What!?
Just make it weird and crazy - Yeah!
Never use a classy recipe - Cake!?
Just gob on frosting daisies - Wreck!
If you throw away your cooking book - Yeah!
Then you'll wreck a cake

Luke:
Cake wrecks dot blogspot dot com
Has the cakes that are the bomb!
Army men like Vietnam?
Made by pros, not by your Mom!
Naked Mohawk baby carrot jockeys rule the world
In a vortex of doom, trapped inside a puce swirl!
It makes your head spin, like you're on a Tilt-A-Whirl!
I saw Darth Vader with a baby, "It's A Girl!"

Carrie:
You gotta do the wreckin' by the book! Cake!

Luke:
Yeah!!!

Note: If you don't recognize all of the Wrecks in the video, that's because many of them are from the book. Did you know that 75% of the book is new Wreckage? And that the book is less than $10 on Amazon? Huh? Didja? Didja?

You did?

Oh. Well, good, then.


- Related Wreckage: Because Every Blog Needs a Jingle

Willy & Wally, the Cake Wreckers

"Say Wally, what did you do to this cake? The airbrushing looks horrible!"

"Really? Rats. Sorry, Willy. I was going for a 'spacey' look."

"'Spacey'? Two big red asterisks on a blue background?"

"Uh, they're supposed to be stars. You know, for Star Wars? See, the mom brought in this Darth Vader plate for reference."

[looking from plate to cake] "Well, we can't give them this - it looks more like a Spider Man or Superman cake."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. So what should I do? The airbrushing seeped into most of the icing, so I can't scrape it off."

"Hmmmm. Lemme see that plate again...and fetch me the scissors, will ya?"



"Oooh, that's MUCH better. Thanks, Willy."

"No problem, Wally. You see, with a little ingenuity, you really can save almost anything."

"You think they'll be Ok with the candles?"

"Of course! They add up to 13, right?"

"Well, yeeesss..."

"Then quit whining! Unless YOU want to go buy more '3's."


Monique R., clearly you already know the powers of the Wrecky side. Good work.

Hello, Kitty?

Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:

However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:


This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...

...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]


I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.

Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.

Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:

Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!

And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:

Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.

Hey Ayana W., Holly U., Kelly H., and Matthew Z., what do you get when you combine Hello Kitty & Darth Vader?

Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:

Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)

Six Ways to Celebrate Your New Engagement

- With giant yellow donuts:

Mmmm. Doooonuts.


- With "lots" and "lots" of "hearts."

"Perfect."


- By planning ahead.

Way, way, WAY ahead.

- By stressing the importance of family:

Actually, Darth Vader fighting Luke in honor of an impending marriage is kind of awesome. Let's just hope your in-laws have a good sense of humor.

(And make sure the baby shower cake looks like this.)


- By comparing your new life together to violently killing things:

"Here we see the groom taking aim at his violently diarrheatic bride-to-be.

"Ah, young love."

(Don't worry, kids; he's only going to tranq her 'til the green diarrhea stops.)

Or, of course, there's always the old standby:

- A syrupy sweet public display of affection that'll leave your guests sick to their stomachs:

"Dude. Some of us are trying to eat over here!"

Thanks to Sandy S., Abbey A., Matthew W., Rachel C., Naomi H., & Jule Ann H., who are so syrupy sweet they should be on a stack of pancakes.


But I am not advocating cannibalism.

Wreckies of the Month

It's time again to recognize those loyal henchpersons among you who have created something truly Wrecktastic this month.

First up, some of you may have noticed this in your daily comics the other week:

(Check out more Brevity Comic Strips here.)

Well, it turns out that Guy actually IS a Cake Wrecks fan, and this was his tribute. Excellent! Although, Guy, I feel I must point out that you spelled everything correctly. [shaking head] Tsk, tsk.


The famously infamous Darth Vader Baby Shower Cake continues to inspire many of you in your at-home Wreckerating. Here's Jenna's version, made for a fellow D&D group member:

"Welcome to the dork side." Heh. Aheh. Heh.

Oooh, and speaking of Wreck-inspired homages: Listen! Do you smell that?

Jennifer N. got these fabulous Ghostbuster cupcakes from her friend Ashley for her 25th birthday. As you can see, Ashley mixed in some of this tragic Wreck along with the correct "no ghost" symbol. So. Cool.

Another great baby shower homage from Mary N.:

This is quite the combo! Let's see...there's It a Gril, In pink, the belly cake, the C-section cake, and of course the world-famous carrot jockeys. Whew! Pretty sweet!


And lastly, Danielle M. earns the Best Wrecky Babysitter Award for wrangling all of the neighborhood kids she babysits (Shelbie, Maddy, Ashley, Abby, and Jacob) into a Cake Wrecks sketch:



My favorites include the magically transforming sidekick, the "patooie" at :51, and of course, the ending. Daniel had the kids perform two other Cake Wrecks posts, too: the Cake Head Diet Aid and The Twilight (Wrecking) Zone. It's most gratifying to know the next generation of Wreckies is assured. Good work, Danielle and minions!

For the rest of you, keep those e-mails coming! I may not post everything you send in, but I thoroughly enjoy laughing at admiring your photos, videos, and general geekiness.

Sunday Sweets: Tour De Force, Pt 1

John and I are having a fantastic time meeting so many of you on the "world" tour, and we're also having lots of fun seeing what the fabulous bakers who volunteered their services at each event are bringing to feed you guys. We'll be posting more pics of those cakes as the tour progresses, but for today I thought it'd be fun to troll through these bakers' sites and show you some of my favorites.

First we have Johnnie of Something Sweet Cake Studio. I've already posted the great Wreck Tribute cake she made for Orlando, so here are a few of my favs from her site:

This is competing with the Darth Vader cake to be my all-time favorite baby shower cake. C'mon, a snorkeling/scuba-diving baby? What's not to love here?

And on the more elegant side:

Gorgeous flowers, and I like how Johnnie hand paints so many of her cakes.

For Portland we had three separate people/bakeries providing goodies: Sadie Damon and her pastry class students from Western Culinary Institute, Jessica Hill of Black Sheep Bakery (who provided a yummy chocolate vegan cake), and Angel & Robin of The Dessert Tray. Since Angel & Robin are the only ones with a site for me to lurk on, here's one of their oh-so-lovely designs:

Note how they were able to make cherry blossom branches withOUT making them look like poo logs. See? It CAN be done!

For last night's event in Seattle, we had Paul of Jet City Cakes and Matt of Starry Nights Catering collaborate on a cake project that will absolutely knock your socks off when you see it. But that will be another post, so you'll have to stay tuned. [evil snicker]

Paul and his wife Liz specialize in sculpted cakes, like so:

(Look at the detail on the screen! Suh-weet!)

And so:

(Why yes, that IS an Alien wedding cake. Why do you ask?)

Matt and his wife Denise (and helper Heather), however, specialize in more traditional designs:

Those are hand-painted chocolate shells. Gorgeous.

Like I said, stay tuned for lots more pics of the "World" tour events. John and I are scrambling to get our photos in order and post-able while traveling like mad every day, so just bear with us a little bit longer.

Thanks again to all of today's bakers. You guys have made each stop so much sweeter (pun intended) and it's been fantastic meeting you all!

- Similar Sweets: Cake Nouveau

Wreckies of the Month

It's time again to recognize those devoted evil Wrecky henchpersons who've sufficiently amused and/or impressed me this month.

First we have the "Most Awesomely Geeky Baby Shower Cake" (EVER!!):

You long-time henchpersons will recognize this as an homage to that amazing Darth Vader shower cake which I claimed could only be topped by a cake featuring Spock instead. Carol J. was less than impressed with the bakery's end result, but I think the wreckiness just adds to its hilarity, don't you?


Next we have Luke, age 6, who made a "T Rex, NOT a cake Rex!" for a school contest:

Adorable. Love the matching shirt, too, Luke.

(Oh, and he won the contest, btw, but that should go without saying.)

Hey, you know how you're always trying to think of more ways to include Cake Wrecks in your lives? Well here's an idea: use your copy of Cake Wrecks as the guest book at your wedding!

This is GENIUS, Lindsay F. I mean, first of all, now you can NEVER get rid of your copy of Cake Wrecks, but secondly, now this book contains the two things you hold most dear: CW, and, you know, all those people who showed up to your wedding. But mostly Cake Wrecks. Right?


Next, Noelle F. shows us how to throw a birthday party, Carrot Jockey style:

Why yes, that IS a pinata.

And the matching cake, courtesy of HomeStyle Bakery:

Now THOSE are carrots.

And last but certainly not least, Malerie C. got crafty and made me a bracelet!

Cute, right? And hey, if you're tired of waiting on me and John to make more Jockey necklaces (sorry, sorry!) you can even head over to her Etsy store and buy one for yourself!


Many thanks to all of today's awesome readers, and to all of you who continue to make the life of professional blogging bearable with your notes, pictures, and e-mails. This has been a particularly trying week at the CW household, and so the time you guys have taken to encourage me and/or John has been especially treasured. Wreck on, dear Wrecktators. Wreck on.

- Related Wreckage: Fan "Art"