Now, you may be asking yourself, how will I know that john (the hubby of Jen) is actually naked? Well, here's a picture as proof:
Now, let's do this thing!
Here we have a ...
I'm sorry. Excuse me...this chair is really...erph!...scratchy.
So. Here's a turtle:
Oh! Hang on a sec; my neighbor is watering her lawn.
Hi, Mildred! Did you know it's National Nude Day?
Mildred? Don't run so fast, dear, remember your hip surgery!!
She's such a sweetie.
Now, check out this hot little chick:
That is some serious duck face.
(Question: is it ok to scratch below the belt with a back scratcher? Asking for a friend.)
And now, a taco:
Or possibly a hot dog.
Never thought I'd get those two mixed up, to be honest.
(Another question: are wood back scratchers dishwasher-safe?)
Huh. That's odd. Ever get the feeling somebody's watching you?
Must be the cold draft in here.
And finally, because this post has been the picture of modesty and decorum so far, let's end with something really inappropriate:
Hey, Carol G., Marianne F., Susan M., Sarah A., & Alexandra, for the last time: I'm up here.