Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Picture This

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sometimes you want your cake to match your party invitations. Hey, no biggie, right? I mean, bakers do this all the time! So, just bring in the invite...

[Picture removed]

...and then watch the magic happen.

(Photo removed at the request of the baker. Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot)

Mmmm. Magic.

And you must admit: no body makes it better.


Or say you have a specific item you want replicated in cake.

You know, like a camcorder.

(Really?)

(Oh. Ok. Really.)

Well, no problem. They can do that, too!


That's one for the record books.


And with all the company picnics out there, you know bakers can freehand logos like nobody's business:
See? Just like nobody's business!


Or how about trying an entire building?


It's all in the airbrush.


Enough business, though. What do you say we loosen things up with something a little... sexy?


Mrow.

Uh...

Well, on the bright side, at least the baker was generous with the serving sizes!

Because anything less would have been a waist.


Thanks to Anony M., Hannah I., Emily C., Bridey, & another Anony. And hey, you know what they say! "A moment with these hips on your lips, and your hips...I mean, your LIPS...no. Wait. Look. There's an old saying in Tennessee. Or was it Taiwan? Anyway. Fool me once, shame on..uh...look, you can't get fooled again, is what I'm saying. Sooo. Yeah.

[dramatic eyebrow lift]

Strategery.
Libby said...

I really fail to understand the continuing popularity of the pregnant torso cakes. I mean, I see them all over this site, and more keep coming, which means that bakers keep baking 'em, which means that people ordered them. I don't get it. I just don't get it.

PeaceLoveandSharpies said...

Punny. :3

untio said...

They tried . . .

How sad that, instead of attempting the profile in the invitation, just done with icing, the wreckerator felt compelled to do the built-up, facing-right-at-you pregnant body.

Carol said...

Ummmm....wow. I'm speechless today!

Gina said...

"Strategery."

Winning. Favorite SNL sketch ever.

Anonymous said...

Poor Marlene....

:)

Jenni said...

I think your normal wreckiness has finally begun to effect me. I found myself thinking "Well, this one's not all that bad," which it clearly is! But I've been wreck-desensitized! It's madness, I say!! :)

Trevor said...

Has the wrecerator for the last cake ever SEEN a woman before? Wow.

flying gargoyle said...

The baker of the first cake needs to remember "2D good, 3D bad"; at least for their skill set.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jenni. The first cake wasn't thaaat bad (except for the kermit the frog hands). However, I don't think I would eat a piece of the rusty building cake. Blech.

CC

LadyFaith said...

I'm kinda impressed (snicker snicker) with the building cake. I mean look at the shading on the building. How it goes from light to dark as you look left to right.

Now all we need is that painter guy who paints the "happy little trees" and we're all set!

sendingtheclowns said...

1.: "A PEARL IN THE MAKING"??? That cake looks like someone who has terrible idigestion from eating oyster SHELLS. OY(ster)vey!
2.: The *camcorder* resembles something I've seen on the evening news from the reporters in Afghanistan. What are they called, now? Tanks?
3.: 39 million pounds. (+!!!) A stripey heart and a funny-looking leaf thingy.
Well. Who WOULDN'T know what it's referring to, I ask you.
4.: Let's play fair, okay? the photo is at street level. The wrecklica is from above, like it was photographed from a helo. Of COURSE it will look different--the colors, the shape...the prehistorically giant foliage in the background...picky, picky, picky!
5.: "What do you say we loosen things up..." you ask?
Seemingly, they did just that; the cake's, er, "hips" are about as loosey-goosey as a roasting turkey. SEX-EE. (GrrrrOW!)
Love the amputated look there, too.
(Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the...guillotine? Axe murderer?)
I fold--no deal. =^-.-^=

Carrie said...

That building looks like the hospital where my daughter was born. If so, they really could have done better- Martha Stewart lives 20 minutes from there.

Thank you for the quote from the Wreckerator in Chief. It made me shudder for a minute, then I remembered he's gone!

Donna said...

OMG I am so twisted I thought the actual camcorder was on the cake and that's what the wreckerator did...I need help!

Anonymous said...

OMG who told those "bakers" they had any talent???

Kimberly Chapman said...

Dear [deity], if I didn't know you were sticklers to the pro thing I'd assume those were all amateur jobs for sure. I am still stunned at the hubris of so many people saying, "Sure, I can make that, if you pay me!" and then turn out such junk.

Caroline B said...

Someone save that poor pregnant lady from the frog with the wandering hands!

rilojane said...

I love that the last one was made entirely out of heart-shaped cake pans. "Genius."

msyendor said...

And a pearl starts with an itch ...

To be later extracted with a knife.

Okaaay.

john said...

Marleen: Body by Cake?

Anonymous said...

You know, right about now edible paper isn't sounding so bad.....

Andrea

Gary said...

Props for the closing GWB reference.

I'll have a drumstick off of that last cake ...

That first one is quite something. No head, no legs, no arms or hands (just sleeves and gloves). Maybe the baby was conceived in vitro and farmed out to a surrogate womb? Because ...

Anonymous said...

I too must be developing a high tolerance of the ridiculous with cake. Initially, with that first cake,I thought aside from Kermit getting handsy, it wasn't that bad.. then I looked at it again.. yeesh

Becky said...

I am a bit bothered by pregnancy = "a pearl in the making". Mostly as pearls are made by the oyster coating a small piece of debris to make the pearl. So, the fetus is a piece of debris...? Depending on your point of view..this is oddly appropriate.

No Cake Fo' You!!! said...

that camcorder looked like more of a vehicle, and vava voom... look at the hips on that last cake.... *licking lips* no seriously, those were really really bad....

Shanti said...

Posting solely because my WV is "wastel", which makes me think of Mr. Strategery. Hehehe...

min said...

GWB FTW!

MMA Los Angeles said...

That... Wow. I understand that it's hard to make cake out of certain things (if you're not on that show), but if you know you're not great at it, why not tell your customer? I know if I were pregnant and full of hormones, that cake would make me cry!
Ava

BADKarma! said...

Eek.

That is all.

thecommune said...

WV - corce:

"A-corce we kin make that! Shewt! Ain't no problem, atall!"

Sorry, had to do it. :)

Pandora said...

As an employee of the San Francisco Food Bank, I feel like some clarification might help here. This cake was from our end-of-year party last June and 39 million pounds represents the amount of food we distributed in San Francisco during the year. Out of context, it makes very little sense at all, but we're pretty proud of what we do. And for the record, the general consensus that day was that this cake was a perfect candidate for CakeWrecks. :)

Craig said...

#1 "It's not easy being green..." It's not easy looking at that cake, either.

#2 At least they didn't just put the picture on a sheet cake. Though that might have been better.

#3 Over 39,000,000 pounds??? Really? That's 19,500 tons. Quite an achievement... The border is doing a disturbingly convincing impression of parsley.

#4 E for effort. I mean, someone who had no idea what the original building looked like (apart from the wreckerator, that is) would probably be pleased. The arbitrary rearrangement of the landscaping shows creativity. Or a limited selection of flotsam. (Are those trees sanitary?)

#5 MarLeen should never have ordered a cake from the bakery owned by her arch-rival.

BP said...

Haha SERIOUS, re: camera "look alike" cake: What is it? WHAT IS IT! Do you think that it might single-handedly take over the world? Maybe? It looks like a robot that comes alive at night, or something...

Becky said...

Duff Goldman and Friends have a lot to answer for. They made making 3-D replica cakes look easy, so now anyone thinks they can do it.

GennyDiggory said...

That first cake says Mc=Kenzie. Someone has actually possibly heard E=MC2 and still can't make body parts to scale. That is one busty baby mamma with tiny flat hands. Yikes.

Monica said...

That company logo...there's a simple way to get the exact design you want. Basically, you trace it onto wax paper with piping gel and transfer it to the cake. I learned it at the elite culinary institute of Wilton Cake Decorating. Week two.

Also, I kind of did a double-take on the first cake because I assumed it was going to be a wedding invitation...but then she was pregnant. It took me a second to realize it was a baby shower invite. xD

Bree said...

The first cake would have been a Wreck no matter how it was done thanks to that ugly invitation so I really can't place all the blame on the decorator. I've always thought pastel pink and pastel green made a nauseating color-combination, and the headless pregnant torso with black gloves does nothing to flatter it.

Michael Bauser said...

That first cake looks like somebody put a dress on the Venus of Willendorf!

On the other hand, I think the camcorder cake may have shot down my fighter in Battlestar Galactica Online last week....

captivating1908 said...

I don't do blogs bc its a waste of time, but I had to comment after someone told me they saw this. First of all I don't think anything is wrong with the first cake and secondly that cake was created 2 years ago for the person who says why to people keep creating these cakes. The person who sent this picture did so to be malicious and petty. And futhermore I was pleased with the cake and at the end of the day that is all that matters! and it tasted great. So to each its own and we all have a own opinions and like they say opinions are like ..... I don't have to finish the rest.

tinypurple elephant said...

The arms!! The arms on the mommy torso are piped frosting. Scary!


I don't like the new torso trend for baby showers. Give me duckies any day.

jillb-ilslp said...

The building must have suffered a lot of smoke damage in the fire. And yet, it's still standing. Yay! Let's have cake!

Anonymous said...

Compared to some of the wrecks I've seen on this site.... I think these decorators did a pretty nice job!

Karen said...

Argh. I always get annoyed with myself when I'm slow to check the blog one day and I end up with an Epcot picture. I bet that first cake was hilarious.

DJ Twisted Sister said...

Camcorder cake looks a little too joyless to get excited about...but corset cake, on the other hand, might be a little too exciting!

Anonymous said...

wish I'd seen the prego cake but I have a good image from the comments. maybe "good" is the wrong word- insert "clear" instead...

-Barbara Anne

SSemadeni said...

for the "wreckerd" books? ;)

Hope said...

Awww man, I always hate it when the "cake baker" requests you take down the photo. Have a sense of humor already, we can't help it if your cake sucks...we just want to laugh! :) Love your site!

Elisabeth said...

Ok no fair, I didn't get to see the first cake photo...Wait, am I really complaining about not seeing a bad cake? Wow, interesting. What has the world come to? *looking around*
oh.


Strategery.

teenceleb101 said...

My husband would say that the building cake is the difference between what an architect sees (the actual building) and what happens after the developers and contractors get their hands on it (the cake).

KA said...

FYI for all u ignorant people pink and green are colors of the first And biggest African American Sorority. Pearls are known for scared reason within this sorority. And phrase Pearl in the making has something to do with an unborn child developing into a pearl so dont make fund of something u all know nothing about. And that was done without Fondant Which that is what the buyer requested. So that cake had a deeper meaning than just a pregnant lady on a cake. And the invitation tis black art which I'm sure u all don't know anything about either. U people ( and i use that term u people) are so opinionated on these blogs and cowards in person. u people get on my nerves.

Arlene said...

Aww I wanna see the wreck that baker made of the invite lol. Maybe I don't if I wanna sleep again though. Ah well. I just wonder what the person who ordered the camcorder thought when they saw that thing. Sheesh.

Janellionaire said...

I don't know if you are aware, but that isn't Epcot, it's Spaceship Earth, AT Epcot. Just FYI. Don't worry, people confuse it all the time.

wv: bunsin - These bakers are going to go out of bunsin with these wrecks!

Craig said...

In the interest of accuracy, someone really should point out: That isn't 'EPCOT', it is Spaceship... well, you know.

That Soviet-era camcorder (cake) is interesting. It probably weighed a ton, though.

wv: dings

Leslie in AK said...

See, now, that last one looks exactly like me! Those of us that were slightly less than blessed with a long waist can relate. One poster asked if they had ever seen a real woman. YES! They saw me! lol

I am also really bummed that I didn't get to see the first cake. I'm trying to piece together what it might have looked like by reading everybody else's comments. It sounds kind of scary. And green. With frog appendages.

AmyOfSweden said...

I am so happy that I got the see the "pearl in the making" cake before it was removed x3

sendingtheclowns said...

@captivating1908:

So,wait--was that YOUR cake??("I was pleased with the cake...")

If so, then I can understand your feeling so defensive.
But we mean no (real) harm, here...
WE didn't create the material-we're just lucky that John & Jen find it!

Anyway, "malicious and petty" makes the world go around!
=^u.u^=

Mags said...

WOW... "Baby Got Back" on that last cake!

Bummed to miss out on the first one - Baker needs to just step up and OWN their wreck! *shakes head*

Caryl said...

LUCKILY Google archives the photos posted on the blogs for a while. SO it's still there on the www for all to see if you just google "Cake" +"pearl in the making" and hit images. Thar she blows!

Lynn said...

I think I'd have more respect for the wreckerator if they just said, I can't take the humiliation please take the picture down, but oh no they have to slam you and your readers right out of the gate. I did manage to see the cake before it got the Epcot treatment. I had felt sorry for the baker at first because the invitation they had to go from was kind of creepy and I assumed that the nasty belly bump out was requested. Now that I see they have no sense of humor about it, I am less gracious.
The first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem. The baker needs to consider this a wreck intervention and seek help. Not to mention, a funny bone.

Marcy K. said...

Love the Epcot stand-in photo! You're awesome and I love that you're accomodating when someone asks for their cake photo to be removed. No hard feelings, just Disney love.

roanhorse said...

@Caryl:
Gone on Google Images, too, darn it. I think I would be embarrassed at first, but also I'd be secretly pleased someone cared enough to add a creation of mine to Cake Wrecks. I only wish you could have seen the Knight's Helmet Pound Cake I made for a boy scout cake auction (at my then 7-yr-old son's request). It was so hideous I insisted my husband buy it back. Anyway, if her client was happy, she should be happy. Though her client may have submitted it....

Regina White said...

Glad I got to see that first cake before you removed it. But yeah good thing it got removed it was a bit scary. Love your site. Always gives me something to laugh at on a bad day. Sundays ROCK. Love some real talent.

Anonymous said...

I didn't think that green one was so bad the baker would want to remove it. All they forgot was the pink stuff. Weird invitation anyway. Pregnant cakes are sort of gross, like you are cutting the baby out!

Angela said...

That's a great picture of Spaceship Earth. :)

Ai said...

Rage, the suggestion that you're being racially insensitive, name calling...

This is shaping up nicely!

Leslie said...

@KA and all the other friends of the baker:
If you knew anything about Cakewrecks, you'd realize NOTHING is sacred and we make fun of CAKES. NOT peoples' beliefs.
And if you are assuming that only non African American people look at and comment on Cakewrecks, well, then, you'd be wrong.
We wreckies don't really care if you say "u people" either. Cuz....uh...we aren't ignorant. So you weren't really talking to us anyway.

WV: ephit
She posted in ephit of rage when she saw the cake on CW.

Peace Yall.

Anonymous said...

Who here thinks captivating and KA are the same person? And also the baker?

wv: faker

Leslie said...

Oops. people's, not peoples'.
That, ladies and germs, is why I am not a professional baker.

WV: ementa
Ementa write correctly, but I didn't.
Ba-dum-bum

Anonymous said...

The image of the first cake is still on yahoo.com- search for cakewreck "pearl in the making" then click "cached" after the link to the blog

sendingtheclowns said...

Anonymous
12:24 PM said:

"Who here thinks captivating and KA are the same person? And also the baker?"

WOW, this is getting reeeaaally deep! You might be ON to something.
Maybe we should call in the FBI, and the CIA, and CSI, aaand...Wait--there's no law against having NO sense of humor. ((SIGH))

Let them eat (bad) cake!

LONG LIVE CAKEWRECKS!

=^~.~^=

trista said...

Please, please, please, the curiousity is killing me. I really want to see a picture of the first cake and the yahoo.com search is only showing me Epcot even when I click on the cached link.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful picture of Epcot!!!! ;)

Shelley in Southern Illinois

WV: That is a great elampliz of Epcot!

Meg said...

Ah, people with no sense of humor--making Cake Wrecks funnier since...forever. That said, Epcot looks lovely as ever.

ps--Just because pink and green are the official colors of an organization doesn't mean everyone thinks it's a great color combo. Everyone's entitled to an opinion! Sheesh!

sendingtheclowns said...

@trista:

Sit down, dear. Calm down. Breathe....
You really didn't miss much... Now, let's try this visual exercise:
Look at the lovely picture of Epcot/Spaceship Earth. Concentrate. Picture Spaceship Earth green. Really, reeaally green. Kermit green. Also smoother, with no pointy, angled bumps. It has breasts, but there is no head. Nor legs.

Picture a pair of hands creeping around the mound, grabbing it from both sides. Black-gloved hands... And think to yourself, "There's a BABY in there..."

Hmmm.
Okay, I guess you did miss something.

April said...

Just to rebut the individual insinuating that the creators and participants on this blog are racist...

I looked very closely at all of my human friends today...and they do NOT have green webbed hands. Nor do any people of ANY local on the planet. I just wanted to state that for the WRECK-ord. (Nor do any of my human friends have squiggly tentacle arms...a few guys in my past may have come close...but not quite.)

Now, I didn't think the invite was that bad, to each their own. However, that cake was not a fair representation of the invite - which is why the cake was featured here.

To make such crass and harsh attacks on those finding the fun in life regarding cake-tastrophies, is simply an example of silliness to the extreme. :P

Elizabeth C. said...

@sendingintheclowns:
You left off that the arms were jelly-like green globs of icing and that it also had no neck.
*shudder*

Wv: Joyind: Clearly the baker and her defendants have no joyind life.

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Captivating1908 and KA,

Hi! I'm the moderator. I'd like to mention just a couple of things if I may:

1. The reason the cake was on the blog is that it didn't match the invite. It was submitted by someone who claimed it was supposed to.

2. This blog doesn't bring up issues like race, politics or religion. We write about funny cakes.

3. We never mentioned the baker, the recipient, the submitter or any website associated with it.

4. We took down the cake at your request even though we had no evidence that you were the baker or that you owned the photo. That's just the way we roll.

Try and have a better day today and lighten up a bit. It really is just cake.

Sincerely,

john

Jennifer said...

@Sendingtheclowns - AWESOME response (the last one, although I reread all of yours and they were great!)! Truly hysterical! Thanks for the mighty "Laugh Out Louds"!

wv: wakiests (seriously? make it harder then that, come on!) - Some people have the wakiests ideas about acceptable humor!

Nikki said...

You know, KA, it is better to only be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

As my MaDear would say (yes, I AM African-American, and have been reading this blog for a while, and that cake was HORRIBLE), sit down, shut up, and stop showing your...well, you should know the rest.

JaneneMurphy said...

Wow, that last one is particularly embarrassing. Marleen doesn't look like a MarLEAN now, does she? Those hamhock thighs look suspicious similar to mine, though, so I really can't joke about it too much.

This blog never ceases to crack me up. Thanks so much for making me smile time and time again.

Aliza said...

I saw the originial picture, and really, that cake was a wreck (given that people on this site aren't keen about the 3-D preggo designs) but at least a well-executed wreck. Clearly the baker has no sense of humour to have taken such offence. (And given the appalling grammar, we should look out for another example of their work. Can't wait!).

As to KA @ 1:31 AM who posted the explanation of the artwork and the Pearl idea, thank you, that's appreciated. You could have done it much more graciously, though-- fans of this blog are from all over the world, and are thus a multitude of ethnic and religious backgrounds. We love learning about different traditions (check out some of the archives and you'll see that). But, for obvious reasons, we aren't familiar with all cultures so may interpret something incorrectly. And that's where readers in the know come in handy! There's no need to insult us for something that, without appropriate context, can be interpreted negatively. (I had the wrong interpretation of pearl, too, but because of my heritage, it was a charming one).

As for the cakes... teenceleb101@12:35-- LOVE your explanation for the building. And Leslie in AK, your explanation for the torso amputation was very amusing too :)

I'm not sure if I should congratulate ("congraduate"?) the food back for distributing so much food to needy families, or comment on my dismay that 39m pounds of food was needed. Which distracts me from the mangling of their (rather apt and lovely) logo.

And yes, I see a tank in that camcorder too. Crouching like a cat about to attack...

Kati said...

@KA at 1:37am
Your points about people making fun of the invitation design or the inscription that was requested should be well taken. It is not nice nor called for to say mean things about what the customer had intended. There is usually a good reason for why they ordered the cake they did. (I love the story of the meaning of "pearl" and "pearl in the making."

Having said that, in reading Jen's commentary, it was obviously not Jen's intention to make fun of the invitation, which was really quite lovely. It was simply to show how badly the baker executed the order. (Imagine how lovely the cake would have been if the baker had simply made a rectangular cake with a beautiful drawing that replicated the invitation.)

It must also be noted that submissions to Cake Wrecks that show what the customer ordered v.s. the wreck that the baker made, are generally submitted either by the customer (who in this case liked what she got) or else by someone who attended the function and thought that the final result was a mess. (It appears that they often submit anonymously so that the guest of honor and/or the person who ordered and liked the cake, won't be mad at them.)

Bree said...

KA, perhaps you should be a lot less ruder when explaining---and also perhaps include some punctuation and grammar as well.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, Jen--you probably already know this, but the 'Picture This' prego full frontal cake photo still shows in the thumbnail when you look at other posts. I know you do try to honor the requests of these, shall we say 'camera shy' bakers who ask you to remove stuff, so I thought you'd want to know it can still be seen.

Anonymous said...

Okay, all controversies aside, I did see the bumpy green baby belly, and it was not what one might call "appealing" nor the least bit appetizing. It was creepy. Baby belly cakes generally ARE creepy. Who wants to really have a shower cake that so closely resembles a vivisection? Full frontal shot or side profile, it was disturbing. Would've been fine with the colors & general theme on the cake minus the creepy bump. Someone (baker?) said it was from two years ago, so that's all fine. Maybe they've honed their skills since then and would love to post something amazingly picturesque on here sometime. This is not just a place to showcase wrecks, but a great place to showcase some seriously baketastic talents.

Chad said...

You should stop taking down pictures when the bakers don't want them seen on your site.

Do you call up your publisher and have them tear out pages from your book when the bakers don't want to have their cakes seen in a CakeWreck book? I don't think so.

It detracts from your site to have an unrelated picture on a post.

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Chad,

1,200 posts.
4,000+ pictures.
9 pictures taken down.

Honestly, it's worth having one incomplete post to gain the trust and good will of the baking community. We're not out to ruin anybody's day, including those whose cakes we feature.

john

Adorably Dead said...

Last one wasn't to to bad. *sings* Fat bottomed girls you make the baking world go rouuunnd! :D

Wee Tait said...

I'm sure the model in the last one was really thrilled with the result :/

Eliza A. said...

"Fool me once... errr..."
Oh lol indeed. XD

Julia said...

As a costumer, I have to point out that that's pretty much how that "Marleen" dress would look in real life . . . if you made it to fit a human being but then had two heart-shaped cakes model it.

IrisFleuron said...

Boooo Hissssss to the baker that requested their image off. Hey, if you can't own it online, DON'T MAKE IT.

Wayfarer said...

I just wanted to say I'm very impressed at how John and Jen handled the request to remove the photo. I'm sorry I missed it, but cheers to you guys for being responsible and not furthering the drama that was threatening to unfold. I do enjoy "snark" sites like this but only when they don't get out of hand and cross over into out-and-out schoolyard mean-ness. Those blogs seem to eventually become more about the drama they've managed to stir up, rather than the actual content. I stop reading those blogs.

So kudos to you for being professionals and taking the higher road. That's what keeps me reading and keeps me a fan.

JLB said...

KA, I assume your references to the sorority are meant to imply you went to college and was/are a member of said sorority. If those assumptions are true, I am shocked by the quality of education you received, specifically in written English. You really should consider trying to get a refund from your place of higher learning. And use it to buy a sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe I am about to admit this: So, I randomly came across this post yesterday, and I figured it wouldn't take long using expert search tactics to find the fabled cake online. Fast forward about 3 hours... no such luck (although I did locate the invitation). Little did I know that my "reward" would come a day later during my daily blog roll. Lo and behold, a thumbnail preview caught my eye, and although the link went to the Disney stand-in, it was enough to quench my curiosity. Jen was right... they are vastly different (no comment on the cake).