Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Conversation Starters

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Show of hands: who got a box of conversation hearts yesterday? You know, the chalky little candies printed with whimsical messages of friendship and affection? Like "Booty Infl8n?"

Ok, now put your hands down. You're just embarrassing yourself.


I only ask because some lucky individuals received cake or cookie versions of the famous candies yesterday, and I'm wondering if they're all as whimsical as this:

Hey, it's no "huge me," but I'd take it.


Well I'll try, but darned if I know what "MNE" is.



Gosh, I've never been called neck wear before. Um...thank U?


Aw.
The best part is this doesn't make me want to run away and file a restraining order at all.



If you're asking, then a) Seriously? and b) No.


And you're going to need another your/you're refresher.


Seriously.


No, seriously seriously.


Come over here so I can slap you.



On second thought, stay over there.
Way, way over there.


You know, part of me thinks this simply has to mean "Sun Shine"...
but the other part remembers how to write a capital S.

So I'm torn.



Thanks to wreckporters Mike L., Jennifer M., Erin, Mariel K., Sarah, Noah E., Andrew T., Amy Z., Jacque K., & Susan R., who think we should give 'em something to talk about it: LOVE.

And then maybe a dictionary.
Trevor said...

I'm ashamed to admit what I thought the "Twet Me" said at first. Let's just say I won't repeat it for all the kids. :)

Seriously, I really want to have a job as a bakery QC person.

Jen said...

That last one looks like it says "Yum Yhine" but probably not because that wouldn't make any sense.

Kay said...

"Twet Me"? Seriously? So glad no one was walking past my office when I saw that!
Thanks for the laugh.

jo said...

Tun Thine? is it a hefty person swearing their devotion in old English? either that or they have to learn they can't be creative with letter writing like they did in middle school.

wv: beflyrit. The bakery (or text) version of "have a safe trip"

Stephanie said...

Yes, I think a dictionary is most definitely in order.

Count Mockula said...

I kind of like "Tex Me." It makes me think something like "Make me the star of my own Tex Avery cartoon!"

Julie said...

"Save Me" is a plea for help from someone being held prisoner in the bakery, don't you know that?!?

And I read #3 as "U my sweet tic"--you're giving me an eye twitch, but I still love you!

Jim Todd said...

"Huge Me" - that's still one of my all-time faves!

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with "Your #1"? I mean, it's most certainly a misspelled "You're #1", but then maybe the author actually wanted to say what he said, that is, that s/he is "your", and "#1".

Erin said...

oh Jen. how I love that you save the best for last. Yes, those capital S-es are tricky to remember.

Ricebubbles said...

"MNE" is OBVIOULSLY l33t for "my naughty elf"
Be my naughty elf, Jen?

Evalis said...

The best part of that.. er.. symbol in the last cake is that its pretty well representative of the whole alphabet. If you try to see it, you can imagine it as any letter you want. And the first one and second one don't necessarily have to be the same letter.

katakombe said...

is it only me or does the "tex me" with the blue smear and the wiggly line after the tex look as if there might have been another letter, maybe even a T, and then they scratched it away?

and on the subject of your/you're: even if, like for me, english is not YOUR first language, YOU'RE supposed to know when to use which before you reach YOUR second year of english education. so, seriously?

Shanti said...

Hahah...am I the only one who saw "Tax Me" in the one heart? Maybe it's a valentine from the IRS!

Tracy A. said...

At first glance the "your amazing" cake looked like "your terrozing" to me. That would have been the correct (and creepy) bakery interpretation of "terrorizing". Or maybe I'm just flashing back on some of my own Valentines and the cakes I would have given them. With correct spelling and grammar, of course!

Sara said...

In my opinion, if my husband got me the one that said be MNE... he would be My Next Ex :)

Erin said...

Squee, I'm an official wreck-porter!! My Valentine's Day has been officially made. U My Sweet Tie, Jen.

NaomiKnight17 said...

I seriously read that last one as "Yum Thing" which is, uhm, magical.

Morwenna Hill said...

I am feeling a little down today so these hilarious Valentine's disasters are just what I need to have a good chuckle! Thank you
Morwenna

Morgan said...

Snorted or Yorted or Lorted on that last one ... what wonderful silliness in the morning! Thanks! :)

No Cake Fo' You! said...

I thank GOD my boyfriend just bought me a box of chocolate covered roses so I didn't have to worry about a wreckerator messing up my treats. LOL

Anonymous said...

What is that squiggle on the TEX ME?

And TWET me? Really? I mean, the subliminal message here is unmistakable.

The wreckorator's Freudian slip is showing.

Jecka said...

"Twet me" made me spit coffee on my computer monitor. Thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

Anyone else see "Tox Me"

Ew.

T said...

that capital S could be an L... or a T... (but not an S) so my initial impression of the cake was "Lume Think"... which seemed an appropriate response to the "My Fiance" cake... lemme think about it...

Usagi said...

I had to laugh at the second one. MNE is one of my friend's IDs at work.

wv: zinglicn. I guess it's sort of like finger lickin'.

Susan said...

I didn't get a box of the conversation hearts, I bought the BIG BAG of them. I know - nobody likes them, but I do. Gads - I used to live on them around Valentine's when I was in my 20s.

Meghan said...

I have been following Cake Wrecks for a while now...but this one just really did it for me. Amazing - thank you. :)

Allison said...

Seriously? That passes for an 'S' in some parts of the world? *headdesk*

Amanda Mac said...

I first thought "sweet tie" said "sweet TOE" . . . and was extremely grossed out.

hannonle said...

I swear that I once saw someone write it as feonsay...

*eyeroll*

If you can't spell it you don't deserve to have one!

Melissa said...

I first read that as "U my Sweet Toe" :-)

pikkewyntjie said...

I was thinking "Tex Me" meant that someone is jonesing for a trip to Texas, but I like Count Mockula's idea, too.

As for "Twet Me," well, let's be glad they didn't accidentally use a different vowel, too.

Cloudy said...

I am so totally addicted to misspelled cakes of all kinds--but the "your" problem is my all-time, coffee-spitting, favorite! The first time I ever broke up with a boy, in seventh grade, it was because he gave me a love note that read, "Your the best thing that ever happened to me." Nearly nauseated, I ended it then and there!

Loved one that no one has commented on yet--the "IOU" in the first picture. IOU what??? (C'mon, I know it was meant to be a heart, but it is so blobby that it obscures the heart!)

I also wonder what word it was that needed an apostophe in "your'e mine". "You remove mine"? You regulate mine"? "You regurgitate mine"?

mimiheart said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who read Sweet Toe.

Stop making fun of Wreckerators who write with a lisp. I didn't know it was possible either, but there you go.

WV: snesses--the snesses on that last cake need some work.

pikkewyntjie said...

I always get the best WVs after I post my first message. This one was perfect for this topic: undme. I don't know what it means to "und" someone, but I don't know what it means to "twet" either.

Jay said...

Tex me. Gad. Someone erased the 't' and put in a squiggle. Kinda like when my students don't know if an answer is T or F so they make that crazy T/F hybrid and try to fool me.

I'm imagining the mental conversation: 'Tex me!' 'I'm texin' you right now!' 'Nope - no T!'

msyendor said...

WV: Watish -- I donseet watish rong wit dese cookys

The Restaurant Manager said...

Those are some cakes. I need to get me a text me cake!

zombiekim said...

Lum Lhine? Where is that, Malaysia?
Also, how is "Tweet Me"--even spelled correctly--romantic? All these computer-joke-based candy hearts of the last decade are truly wretched. It's like AOL, a late-'90s iMac, and an insane person took over the Necco factory.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Thanks Cake Wrecks, you always make my day! These are just too funny. So are those Bittersweets (I Want Half, Dog Is Cuter, U Have A Blog)!

I'm raising my hand! I bought some conversation hearts for my candy dish at work. I'm reading one that's says Drama Queen (oh gee, there's a compliment). Oh, here's one...My Girlz (nice, he sees double...or he's going to shortly). O.o

Ding-ding-ding Julie has the best answer for "Save Me" ROTFLMBO!

Be MNE? Several come to mind...
Be My Natural Evacuation
Be My Necessary Evil
Be My New Ex
Be My Nice Ectoplasmic-goo
Be My Nutty Eunuch
Be My Non-biological Extraterrestrial
Be More Non Evasive

Maybe the Tex Me was supposed to say Tex Mex? No?

wv: dessest: There must be a cease and dessest of misspelled cakes!

wv: audswur: If you wanted to bet that the Valentine cakes would be wreck-free, the audswur not in your favor.

lisadh said...

"Come over here so I can slap you," has to be the best line ever. Made me bust a gut.

Ha!

Anonymous said...

No Cake Fo' You! said...
I thank GOD my boyfriend just bought me a box of chocolate covered roses so I didn't have to worry about a wreckerator messing up my treats. LOL

@ No cake:
"chocolate covered roses"?!
Really? You eat them?

kayk said...

My employer, the Morris County Historical Society, had a membership drive tea party this weekend, so I made cookies in the form of conversation hearts. Among the various "BE MINE" and "CALL ME" messages I dropped in a few "JOIN MCHS" ones. Subliminal, sugar-fueled marketing!

Anonymous said...

Made me think of my mom, who told me that when she was little, they would get conversation hearts and have lots of fun playing with them, making sentences or whatever, until they got too grubby to play with - and then they'd eat them, because who would waste candy???

Merry at Annie's Book Stop

Raphael said...

I totally read Tax Me. Which I still think is a strange thing to ask on Valentine's day...

"Your #1" definitely makes sense, like "Courtesy of your #1".

Mike Brown said...

After putting down my cup of coffee, and contemplating what on EARTH goes through the minds of these dear overworked, overstressed-out wreckerators, I've come to the conclusion that the "SAVE ME" cake is actually a call for help. A plea, a cry, a last chance at being saved from the jaws of icing and sprinkles.

And I bet, if more of these people were slapped, it might knock some sense into them. Or just be told to "walk away from the pastry. Just put down the icing slowly and walk away."

Kristin said...

I also saw wreck #3 as "U my sweet toe". I am totally grossed out by feet so I would be offended if my significant other thought of me as his 'sweet toe'. :)


wv:ramest...Scooby Doo thinks these are the ramest cakes he's ever seen!

KatjaMouse said...

They sell these at my grocery store and have these big icing bags next to the display so that you can write your own message and then take it to the register. I do believe that there are folks who will ice one, see a mistake and then just ice another, leaving the uncompleted/misspelled one on the display.

It's the thought that counts.

Anonymous said...

I wish I knew what the wreckcreator was thinking when he wrote "Lum Lhine". Can they write in cursive???

Laura Cathrine said...

*hanging head*

I... just...
I just can't look anymore.

Lirion said...

I thought the had wrecked My Fiance to My Finance initially.

Mmm subliminal messaging in what they want in a life partner.

But no.

Gina said...

Haha! Totally thought the third one said "Sweet Toe"

*That* would have been embarrassing.

firecat88 said...

1- I wouldn't mind getting that one in the top left corner. It looks nummy. The 'So Big' one, though, is guaranteed to get a person slapped.
2- MNE? Mad Narwhal Exorcist?
3- Whoever V is, I wonder if they enjoy being likened to a toe.
4- Er...no. Just...no.
5- Fianice? It would fia nice if this cake wasn't so bad.
6 through 8- *headdesk*
9- See #4
10- T-omega symbol-x me?
11- Come to Luni Lhimu! Where the sun shines and the cakes are always wrecky!

vw: Jindepe- I'm jindepe in wrecked heart cakes over here.

Elizabeth C. said...

I am pretty sure the "Your Amazing" one has a sticker over the word Tits.
*I* would be flattered to get a cake that is a tribute to my amazing tits. :)

Elizabeth C. said...

My brother's ex wife used to always mistype that she was his financee. hmm...

Anonymous said...

OMgolly! Today's wrecks make me nearly pee my pants with giggles. LOLOLOL. It's the commentary that gets me going. You're (did you see how I spelled that) too funny.

Michelle said...

I am so bummed I did not have my cell with me as I went past the grocery store bakery last night. Large plastic take-out boxes with chocolate dipped strawberries and a random collection of plastic flotsam and conversation hearts literally thrown all together. Thanks for these, they are great!

Craig said...

#1 I also see 'I O U'. The sender should expect almost anything...

#2 is from management. It stands for, 'Be My Next Employee'. Above is a sign that says, "If you can spot the problem below, let's talk."

#3 If we had written just a tad smaller, 'sweetie' would have fit. Of course, the second 't' would have to be sacrificed... Love the romantic color combination: gray and neon orange.

#4 "Help -- I know how to write and spell, and I'm trapped in this bakery!"

#5 "Let's see -- what color should the writing be? Something that goes well with Pepto pink. I know... light blue! Now I'll write really big so that the message can easily be rea..."

#6b My amazing what? Drat that label! What is a 'cake enrobed chocolate heart'? Someone baked a chocolate heart inside the cake? That should work well.

#7 Again with the gray. What's the story on these color schemes?

#8 looks like it's frosted with butter (gag). No, no -- butter *creme*. Better luck next time. A kudos on including the apostrophe and 'e', though -- now to master where Mr. Apostrophe belongs.

#9 Hug Me, Twet Me, Spellcheck Me!

#10 "The test results are in -- we need to talk right away. I hope the color scheme and the squiggle don't give away the surprise."

#11 Proof that the medium is the message. The message is: gibberish.

Wendy P said...

I think some sort of award should be presented to these bakeries.

"Your shop has been featured on Cake Wrecks. Hire literate people!"

Something like that...

Erin said...

The "Save Me" cake now has Remy Zero playing in my head...

Somebody saaaaaaave me
I don't care how you do it...

wv: hesed
"That's what hesed"

Micalah said...

Tweet me? I have never heard that before...

Wolverine Girl said...

I thought the "I heart U" monstrosity in the first picture said FOH. And you better watch out for those sweet tics. Those little rascals can burrow in like nobody's business.

Colleen Marie said...

The phrase "come over here so I can smack you" made me laugh.

jessica said...

I have to say that I was disappointed when I walked past the bakery in my grocery store yesterday....everything was spelled correctly and even the chocolate icing on the cupcakes (yes, individual cupcakes) looked really good.

eugeneteam said...

I made some of those this year too!

Anonymous said...

It almost looks like they spelled "text" correctly at first, then decided that "Tex~ Me" was better.

Ellen said...

The "so big" one is, of course, an homage to the Edna Ferber novel.

I'm sure that, just beyond the edge of the picture, there is one that says "Cabbages is beautiful."



wv - affil.

I have no affil-iation with the people who wrecked these cakes.

Alma said...

Save me is definitely the cry for help from the person at the bakery who's locked up in the back. You can tell by the correct spelling they do not belong there!

The creepiness of some of these also remind me of my "Worst Case Scenario" calendar that has "How to get rid of a stalker" as the how to tip on Valentine's Day!

Gianna said...

My sweet toe!

Anonymous said...

@ Trevor- there is no bakery QC person which is why we can have this blog in the first place!

“twet me” = t(shirt)wet, me win contest

I didn't see TEX ME I saw TOX ME which was way scarier. I've been to Texas & I ain't skeered.
Of course, it could be someone just asked the wreckerator what they wanted for lunch & they forgot the other X.

-Barbara Anne

Kimberly Chapman said...

Actually I made my own message hearts this year using this recipe:

http://candy.about.com/od/valentinesdaycandy/r/convo_hearts.htm

I made some for my kid's class with the school name and her class number on them. Then I made a pile to go with my Wolverine show cake. Oh yeah. Some even have claw marks. Muahahahahaha.

BTW the feedback from the school ones was that they apparently tasted awesome (I can't eat sweets so I couldn't test them myself). I put vanilla in half and peppermint in the other half and kids and adults alike said they were leaps better than storebought, so I totally encourage others to try the recipe themselves. Easy peasy, especially if you have a little plunger cutter to churn 'em out fast.

Arlene said...

Lol anyone who sent cookies/cakes implying I am huge would probably end up with them thrown at them. And that save me one lol what exactly does it need saving from? Because possibly I might start running and screaming.

Mollsmithie Smith said...

Omg these were too funny. I had to go through them twice to get the full effect haha. Great post today.


wv: boying. Twet me and then let me know when you go boying.

PJ said...

Thought that last one might say "I um Thine". Or maybe Lum Thine? Glad I didn't get any of those Wrecks for Valentines Day. LOL Thanks for the laughs on every post.

Anonymous said...

"Your #1"... creepy friend w/ delusions? Indeed, you certainly are ;P

I also thought the last cake was Japanese or something and was trying to figure out what the heezy "Lum Shino" was :|

P.S. My captcha reads "hoeddit"-- I'm inclined to be flattered :P

Strawberry Blogs Forever said...

I read the last one as "Luni Lime" or "Luni Mime", I couldn't really decide.

Anonymous said...

I'm just curious.

WHAT THE HECK MADE THAT BUMP UNDER THE ICING ON THE "MY FIANU" CAKE?!

Ahem.

Also, nobody seems to have noticed that the border on the "your #1" is migrating off the cake in embarrassement.

I really, really, really liked the script on "Your'e Mine." So pretty. So close.

That last cake could be "Gun Ghime" (slang for give me a gun) which some people would find totally appropriate on Valentine's.

-Teabunny

Anonymous said...

Be mne was probably supposed to say Be Mine, only in text speak. They were cute, except for the spelling errors..

Tamara Marnell said...

You can read "sunshine" off of that? You've obviously had years of experience decoding bad icing-writing. The best I could decipher was "Yum Thing"...which I guess isn't that bad to put on a cake.

Liza said...

The "S" in that final cake looks almost exactly like the way people wrote the letter "h" in sixteenth-century secretary hand. This link is for scottish handwriting, but it's the same thing:

http://www.scottishhandwriting.com/cmLFh.asp

Also, the secretary "l" is an upright letter with only a small loop at the top. So, assuming this decorator was using the early modern secretary hand, I'd transcribe it as "hun hline".

If the decorator was using a sixteenth century hand to write in a much earlier Old English, then "hline" could be a form of the Old English verb "hlinian", meaning to lie down, recline, or rest.

So, "hun hline" could be a sexy antiquarian way of saying, honey, get into my bed. Subtle, right?

Hope that helps!

Suse said...

surely the last one says "Yum Thing"... well it could be worse.

wv: siesto
I've eaten so much cake I need to lie down and take a siesto.

mladybright said...

But...but... I like the white convo hearts!

These cakes... not so much.

I sometime laugh harder at the comments to your posts - just because. You know, things like chocolate covered roses? EH?

Thanks for the laughs today.(funny how that line about 'come over here so I can slap you' is heard so often in my house) After a weekend with visiting toddlers, I needed some sanity!

~~Di

wv - scarri -- WAYYYY too easy!

Ellen said...

NiteNurse said...

>> I do think that the phrase Maga Kum Latte should be enshrined in the Wreckie lexicon. <<

I think it's time for a new t-shirt!


wv - sperfi.

That would look just sperfi (a combination of sperm and spiffy)!

Sarah said...

Actually, the "Be Mne" heart cake/cookie is somewhat interesting, because 'mne' in Russian means 'me' ... so the cake decorator is actually telling the recipient to be the decorator... kinda weird/neat, huh?

Anonymous said...

So, so sad.

oi said...

Come over here so I can slap you. The best line ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

that save me heart seems desperate. maybe it doesn't want to be eaten.

Shimshonit said...

I think that last one is Arabic. Or Thai.

Spacegeek Nat said...

That one is an MNE. You know, those weird squiggly things that live in the ocean. Finding Nemo lived in one. Though I am unsure why anyone would wish another person to be one of those...

}:)

Anonymous said...

Kind of late, but the first one isn't really a wreck in the strictest sense. If you look at the top part of the picture, you can see pink boxes... Those are cookie-making kits that were sold at Target, where you could decorate the cookies yourself. So they were probably not made by professionals, but in someone's home. Or some seriously sad "professionals" who don't even bake their cookies, but buy them premade, haha.

However, it's still hilarious, and the rest of these are great!

Anonymous said...

Actually, I just posted a comment about the first photo and I take it back... On second look I can see glare, which makes me think they're display cookies from a Super Target, which is then hilarious. Sorry for momentarily discrediting the submitter!

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking the last one was supposed to be "Young Thing" but ended up as "Yun Thine"--anyone else?

Jessica said...

The S on that Sun Shine cake looks like a Japanese "sa" in Hiragana, so I guess it kind of makes sense. Sa-un Sa-hine