Friday, September 3, 2010

Decorating in the Meantime

Friday, September 3, 2010

This is why you never dine alone at fancy restaurants:

"I told you: my date is just really, really late! And who asked you, anyway?"


And this is why the Regional Transport Authority should always spell out their name:

I'm sure it's a pet name.


There's a fitness center in Dallas with the tag line, "Redefining the Fitness Experience." Something tells me the baker they hired for their anniversary cake didn't quite agree with that assessment, though:

"We're here to PLUMP [clap] you up!"


Hey, uh...guys? Has anyone checked with Justine about this?

0.0

And to think: all we've got are hamburgers and a Guitar Hero competition.


Ryan W., Gilbert, Kelsey C., & Karen B., may your Labor Day weekend be as labor-free as possible. (Unless you're having a baby. [Which would be weird, in Ryan or Gilbert's case. (Unless it's their respective female counterparts who are in labor. [Which would be cool.])])
Jenniffer said...

The writing on that second cake is actually REALLY good!

Samantha and James Soesbe said...

i got up at 430 this morning so i could refine my fatness experience...i love it! lol :o)

lizzied said...

My fatness is completely refined. I've got fatness down to an art form. Pass the cake.

The Boob Nazi said...

I love the "fatness" cake. Maybe they just enjoyed the irony of their ordering a cake?

Sharon said...

I'm guessing the crossed cake pillars on the fitness cake are suppose to represent dumbbells. If that's the case, then I would be handing the dumbbell cake back to them saying, "You deserve it more than me!"

Lovely penmanship on the Rat cake. Which I could write like that.

We are cake wreckers, my friends.
And we'll keep on wrecking to the end.
We are cake wreckers,
We are cake wreckers.
No time for Spell Check,
'cause we are cake wreckers
of the world!

Sharon's Edible Art

Sean said...

You totally get +12 geek points for getting your () and [] nesting correct at the end there.

Stella said...

I really LOL'd '& Justine for all'. That made my Friday morning. I sure hope there's enough 'Justine' to go around.

Let Them Eat Cake said...

"With Liberty and Justine for all" - [in announcer's dramatic voice]: "This is a job for Letterman!"

Taylor (MOB) said...

Bravo on the last line to the submitters.
I can't believe you found a way to put "])])" in your blog post.

Vicki said...

Are you sure you couldn't have put more parentheses and brackets in your credits at the end? (Sarcasm off).

Anonymous said...

Is the first one supposed to look like a little, colorful bug flew onto it and got stuck?

Anne said...

I just came home from the gym and pulled up CW as I downed a glass of water. Fortunately I had swallowed before I got to "Refining the fatness experience," or else I would have snorted it out my nose! That is one snarky baker, serving that cake to a gym, but then what is the gym doing ordering cake? (Was this the same gym that did the Biggest Loser competition mentioned a few days ago?)
Oh, and now I'm craving cake, which will undo my hard work at the gym this morning. I'm refining my fatness experience, all right...

Anonymous said...

Very lovely handwriting on the Anniversary cake! (anyone really know the story behind 'Rat'??)

'fatness'... There are not words to express my thoughts.

I agree with anon - is that a little bug on that lonely dessert?

~~Di

wv - inonist - Inonist appreciation for our local cake decorator, who does not wrecky a cake make.

Anonymous said...

Ummmm if it were really Regional Transport Authority, that would be a wreck of another color...RTA instead of RAT...Just sayin

MissNay said...

My little one looked at the first cake and said "Look a grasshopper!"

mblonde7 said...

well, money can't buy you happiness, but apparently we have to buy friends. very nice....

and i love the parentheses and brackets at the end, all inside each other. hooray for run-on thoughts! :)

Holkie said...

Hey! I have a friend who's nickname is the Magic Rat. We call her Rat or Rattie. So it could be her cake!

Reverend Ref + said...

I'm just glad that the Justine for all cake wasn't on the same post as yesterday's . . . ahem . . . Rocket cake.

Sacha said...

1.) I got a pop-up ad when I first got on the site today. I really don't mind all the ads around. I get it, you deserve to be making some money for all your hard work, but pop-up ads are off-putting.

2.) Great post as always. I find it ironic that the "fatness" cake is so big. Just sayin'.

3.) I would like to commend you on your proper use of punctuation in the thank-yous. I love that you remembered to close all the parentheses and brackets. It makes me feel like there really are still intelligent and attentive people in the world. :o)

Justine said...

Nope, no one checked with me, and it makes me rather uncomfortable to be "for all."

Dani said...

Last year I joked with my then pregnant sister in law "If you go over due by a week you'll go in to labor on Lobor day ha ha ha".

Yeah turns out I'm a witch or something because my curse came true. So we're celebrating my darling niece's first birthday this weekend.

Actually I may send you a pic of the cake as a sweet. The baker is family and VERY tallented.

Frenchgirl said...

I actually like the writing on the "rat" one.
Justine is a character form the Marquis de Sade 's work...maybe that's the explanationXD

ViolaNut said...

Nested parentheses FTW! :-) Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go refine some fatness...

Melinda said...

My fatness is as refined as it can get, thankyouverymuch. If only there was a cake that took off pounds when you ate it instead of adding them. I think that the lettering on the "Rat" cake is beautiful.

WV: vemousne, which is how some Wreckerator would spell "venomous," I'm sure, assuming that there was ever an order for a cake with that word on it. Which, come to think of it, might not be wise to eat.

Joanne said...

Love your review. So funny. Espec. the baking goof.

Marissa said...

I'm thinking maybe "refining fatness" could be a euphemism that roughly equates to "redefining fitness." Like, "I plan to refine my fatness so entirely that it becomes invisible!"

So, basically, that wreckerator is a willful genius. Maybe.

Anonymous said...

wv: ingsfyin: There's ingsfyin and landin' on that first cake!

LOL @ Dani - similar story - guy at work told me I should go into labor before the New Year to get the tax deduction (accountant...go figure [and like I could really control the "when" part]{hey - brackets![fun!]}) ...which was 2 weeks before my due date. 12/30 my son was born.

Have a great weekend people!

Anonymous said...

I love the irony of the fitness cake it makes me want to go there and plumped up and the and the rat cake i was confused because it looks like there is pink bee hives as for the first one I'm not even sure what the heck it is of what it says

Anonymous said...

Ah, such deep questions come to mind....

Why is there a birthday candle on the Buy Friends dessert? Are they trying to rub it in that this poor person is alone with a solitary celebration?

Why RED icing for Rat's anniversary? It goes so well with the beautiful soft pink roses...

Is that the decorator holding up the fatness cake? Sure looks like official kitchen staff/chef attire to me!

Are those blobs supposed to be fireworks, or Justine's pom poms?

WV: idintl--"Idintl have anything to do with these wrecks, honestly!"

mn_me said...

I think the first cake is french pastry ... we have a small french restaurant that features pastries like these for desserts (and for take-out). They're exquisite and rich and really quite wonderful - and usually have some decorative feature on them...

Addie

Ryan W said...

I'm actually female and was pregnant pretty much all of last year :)

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't the Regional Transit Authority be RTA?

VeggieT said...

You know if my name were justine and I was running for president... that might make a good campaign slogan

NatalieG said...

Jen, are you sure you aren't a closet Java coder? You were way too precise with the brackets. :)

wv: fierspat - as in 'I strained my fierspat while refining my fat today at the gym.'

Cathy in AK said...

ver. word: trieben

Which could be a wrecked "tres bien" for a cake in France, or a suggestion for Justine to "Try Ben" while she's at it. Hard to say.

Anonymous said...

Awww, they've made a cake for Razvan Rat from the Romanian football team! Pretty sure he's a long way off his 35th anniversary of anything, though.

- Cheryl_bites

Erica C. said...

So wouldn't the abbreviation for Regional Transport Authority be RTA and not RAT? Nothing wrong with abbreviating it if someone's not dyslexic. :-/

Aviatrix said...

I guess if you're going to call Justine a slut, it's better to do it with cake than paint it on the water tower.

ethan_marston said...

Regional Transport Authority = RAT, how exactly? You'd think it was RTA. Hm. Hm-hm-hmm-hmm-hm. I think you're wrong.

Becca said...

am I the only one who thinks that the 'f' for friends in the first post is backwards?

Anonymous said...

Heehee, the targetted ads are working, I'm getting "Jeans for All"!

And your article takes on a serious LISP at the end there. Bonus geek points to anyone who knows what i am SCHEMEing.

-- abadidea

Margaret said...

I know what the bug is for!!!!
It's the "friend" our lonely diner is supposed to "buy"! Genius! Test the "friend" during dessert - add it to your total & take it home after dinner. (upsell!)

wv: ercatodi - Italian delicacy that would have perfectly fit the string of random words in the Italian post a few days ago

Anonymous said...

hehehe

Anonymous said...

In view of yesterday's SUA post, I simply assumed it was the same wreckor doing the RTA's cake.

Craig said...

Buy Friend? If we knew what the dessert was, would that enlighten us as to the meaning? If this is the kind of thing one is likely to encounter in 'fancy' restaurants, I'll stick with the ones that advertise -- at least the dishes are recognizable and do not include cryptic messages.

Refining the fatness experience. I'd say that cake ought to do it. Unless the bakery wound up having to refine the total refund experience, after which they may have refined the wreckerator's unemployment experience...

Katie said...

This has probably been said, but does anyone else find it ironic that a fitness center is celebrating with cake?

Arlene said...

Lol.. I can't help but giggle at the first one. I can see eating then when dessert came the shock at being told to buy friends. Now how much would they expect me to pay for them lol. As for the 35th anniversary cake I wonder if someone was evil enough to give that cake to a spouse. That alone would be just pure evil and the wreckerator would be happily wrecking on.

Jennifer said...

Excellent Hans and Franz reference! I also love the stacked plastic columns in the corners of that cake; they really class that sheet up!

of sage and sepia said...

Coffee out the nose at the "Justine" for all!!

Confusion over the bug on the first fancy little number.

Guffaws over the "fatness refined" ( a new euphemism, no doubt!) and the irony of a huge, honkin' cake to celebrate fitness/fatness!

Justine said...

Yeah, I really don't remember volunteering for THAT...

Kitrina said...

My sister had her baby the day before labor day 5 yrs ago... I told her that her timing was just alittle off :p

akukoomori said...

There's plenty of Justine to go around, you may need to print some more copies, but that can be done.

I'm more terrified by the hypothetical society where everyone has been required to read it...
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justine,_or_the_Misfortunes_of_Virtue )

Anonymous said...

I can't help it but each time I look at the first photo I see a grasshopper on the dessert. Is it just me?

K said...

I visit CW's every so often & it never fails to amuse the hell out of me... great job :)

shikishinobi said...

I ahve a new acronim for the wreckorators who cannot spell. ADID. Attention Defisate Ilitterate Disorder.

Ashley said...

my husband, ian, is pregnant. it's really not that weird. :)

and it seems it wasn't weird for ryan w to be pregnant, either.

Todd and Christie said...

When I was in high school, I had a friend named Ratana and everyone called him "Rat." (Yes, Ratana is a boy, and yes, he comes from another country).

Koli said...

refining the fatness experience!! hahaha

Octo-Dolls said...

Just how much is it to buy a friend anyway?