Friday, August 6, 2010

Send 'Em In

Friday, August 6, 2010

Wow, the blockbuster holidays just keep comin' this month: did you know it's national Clown Week?!?

Needless to say, the clowns of the world (the ones who wear make-up, I mean) couldn't be happier about the week-long celebration:

"Beat it, kid. I'm on a break."


Oh. Well, I mean, most of the clowns are excited. Why, just look at this giddy fella!

Tell me, Mr. Bubbles, have you ever felt more alive?

Mr. Bubbles?

Uh...sir? [honking rubber nose] Hello?

Well, maybe we'll just leave him to rest in peace, and move on to...


...uh, well, not this guy. He looks dead tired.



And I'm sure these two...severed heads... are just resting, too, kids. Ha. Ha. Erm...


Oh, look, here's a happy clown! So happy, in fact, he's gone cross-eyed!

(Give it a second.
Theeere
it is.)


On the other hand, he might be bleeding demised. You know, ceased-to-be. Expired and gone to meet his maker. Stiff, bereft of life, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This may, in fact, be an EX clown.

Or he's just resting.


Well, no matter; here's a clown with a full LOAD of...uh...exuberance:

Wow, we've got a live one here! (And I think he needs a change.)


Happy Clown Week, Jennifer, Julie M., Heather B., Eve & Noelle, Ashley, & Kathryn H.! May all your pies fly true, your noses honk, and your cars maintain their TARDIS- like defiance of the laws of physics
.
The Boob Nazi said...

I find clowns too creepy to enjoy this post.

Pam said...

Love the Dead Parrot sketch reference!

Tori said...

SQUEEE on quoting my favorite Monty Python sketch EVER!

Anonymous said...

wow - no wonder people are afraid of clowns - the 2nd one (I think) looks like the clown from the Stephen King book

Chris Entrup said...

No Loch Ness Monster! You're not getting $3.50!

Anonymous said...

I work with a guy (a chef, too) who is afraid of clowns, so naturally I sent him this link.

My WV this morning: frost

Anonymous said...

I wondered why the electronic sign on the back of the bus this morning said "Happy Holidays". Ha! Thanks for clearing that up.

Alex

Suzanne :-) said...

It's also World Breastfeeding Week. Oh, wait, I probably don't want to see what the wreckies would come up with for that...

Or maybe I do. Booby cakes are funny.

wv: fings. This is funny, because they actually offer fings as an off-menu item at Burger King here. Half order of fries, half order of onion rings. And they were talking about it on the radio this morning. How serendipitous!

Larissa said...

Beautiful plumage, though!

Maria said...

These cakes are made for these clowns:

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/8009353/21241178

Christin said...

These are freaking terrifying.

Alex Getts said...

The following Billy Madison quote kind of sums up wrecks #2 and #3:

"Hey, kids it's me, I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha-ha-ha!"

Anonymous said...

They're so....so....scary!!!!

Chaos6267 said...

Lol huge fan of monty python. The third one looks like half slug, half annoying clown thingy. I really hope there isn't a national mime week. Have yoe ever noticed that ronald mcdonald is half clown, half mime? No seriously. Look at him! Ok, I know, off topic. Now, my clownaphobia impression. AAA! CLOWN EVERYWHERE! THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD I TELL YOU! THEY'LL ENSLAVE US ALL! yeah.

Shanti said...

All I have to say is that there is an ad right next to this entry featuring Ronald McDonald.

Jim Todd said...

The Parrot Sketch - one of my all-time faves! Good call!

From the live performance:

"All statements to the effect that this (clown) is still a going concern are, from now on, inoperative!"

stuckinmypedals said...

I don't think I can recover from this post. Terrifying, absolutely terrifying.

John said...

It looks like the cross-eyed one is pining for the fjords... :P

LOVE that sketch!

MariahKW said...

What's with the X's and +'s for eyes? Very strange...

Emma9405 said...

That last one looks like a lightning bug clown!

French Bean & Coffee Bean said...

Monty Python AND clowns...so my friday begins! ^.^

-French Bean

Anonymous said...

I hate clowns *shudder*

Christina LMT said...

I hate you. I hate you so much. The only thing worse than these clowns is the zombie clown from Zombieland. Ugh.
If I opened up a cake box and saw any one of these clowns leering at me, I'd have to be sedated.

Donna said...

Monty Python - Awesome way to celebrate Friday!!!

That being said, I embrace diversity and therefore am not adverse to clowns. However, that first one brought images of John Wayne Gacy to mind...*shudder*

Anonymous said...

And an ex-cake too! Long live the Dead Parrot sketch!

DB

jo said...

maybe #2 is drunk. he looks awfully content. and the last one--wow, what a bargain! $3.50! though that doesn't look like an original price tag. maybe they had buyer's remorse and tried to resell it at a discount.

Donna B. said...

You just squeezed both a Monty Python and a Doctor Who reference into the same post. A post about clowns. I love you, from the very bottom of my geeky heart.

Suzanne said...

Ahhh...Python in the morning. Makes my day!

ka.middleton said...

Is there such a thing as a Norwegian Blue Clown? Maybe he would wear daisies. :)

Anonymous said...

I am appalled to admit that when I looked at #3, I didn't see "dead tired". Instead, I saw a super creepy clown lying down on a soft bed of cake waiting for the cameras to start rolling, if you know what I mean... I think it's the pedo smile on his face that did it. :(

wv: metou. I really do not want to metou, Mr. Creepy Clown!

Gina said...

What is with the weird x's for eyes? That is the strangest thing I have ever seen!

Stephanie said...

You know, I'd always wondered how they could fit so many clowns into those tiny cars. Now I know: they're TARDISes (with working chameleon circuits)! ;)

Oh, and the "cross-eyed" bit made me giggle. :P As for the rest, those are almost enough to make me afraid of clowns. o_O

Kelly said...

There's always room for a Monty Python reference. :)

Lindsey said...

Clap... clap... clap... (that's a slow clap, btw)

Fabulous reference to Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch. Beautiful segue and perfect usage. DIVINE.

Esty said...

Monty Python FTW!

"I'm not dead yet!"

wv: blardst. I got nothing, but it sounds like it goes with my quote.

Ashlee L. said...

As if clowns weren't creepy enough, people have to put them on cakes where those terrifying white faces and too-wide grins can judge you as you eat their bodies...why, why, WHY do people think clowns are cute?

Greek Salad said...

Mere looking at the pics makes one wants to grab one. Great design and superb taste for sure.

ladyrazorsharp said...

LOL all the 1st one needs is a cigar and stubble.

I think the 'cross-eyed' one (har har) is actually kind of cute and non-scary...which is an achievement in clown anything. ESPECIALLY since it's a CCC! (ptooi!)

Dead Parrot FTW!

My stepmom has been a semi-pro clown for a long time, and she collects clown memorabilia. Most of her stuff is non-scary, thank goodness. She gets my dad to clown with her, which is hilarious. I think she'd probably enjoy these cakes, even if they are on the wrecky side.

Brooke said...

@ John: HAH! Pinin' for the fjords! =)

Selena said...

I think the last clown killed them all...in the drawing room...with a machete.
Btw, Monty Python just warms the cockles of my heart!

Hungarican Chick said...

I SERIOUSLY hate clowns. I have clown hatred. I despise them. If I saw one on the road, I'd have to actively restrain myself from ploughing him down with my car... I HATE CLOWNS. If someone gave me those scary-ass cakes, I'd make them eat it while punching their head.

Anonymous said...

Best Monty Python sketch ever. Also, one of the funniest posts, EVER! I love this blog.

Stephanie

Jael said...

I see Suzanne beat me to mentioning this being world breastfeeding week. :-p

WV: laysmell These clowns, laysmell like they've been sleeping for a long time. A very, very long time.

Wendy said...

Came to this site right after reading this article about a woman in a clown suit robbing a bank.

http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-bethlehem-clown-bank-robber-20100806,0,3597682.story

Now I know she was just celebrating!

Coincidence? I think not! ;-)

mizdarlin said...

Think I am finally beginning to understand why so many people hate/fear clowns..yeeesh!

Goueznou said...

I've never understood the fear/hatred of clowns. I think I must never have gotten close to one as a child. But if I'd been faced with these cakes in childhood, I can imagine developing said fear/hatred.

Kinda bummed that two people beat me to "pinin' for the fjords". At least I got a cool WV: strain. Nuff said.

Goueznou said...

P.S. Sometimes people in on-line forums will write that the phobia of clowns is also known by a technical term, "coulrophobia", but this word doesn't seem to have any plausible etymology, and there's little evidence that it really exists except as something people pass around as a bit of trivia.

In case anyone was wondering.

Karen said...

Oh sorry, no time to comment - I'm taking the train to Ipswitch! (That's a pun!)

John said...

You are gonna hate me for this today, but love me tomorrow. It's rung down the curtain. Yep.

Susan Marie said...

I agree the last cake looks like it has a full load in its diaper!

Emily said...

It's also International Breastfeeding Week... I've never seen a breastfeeding cake, although I have no doubt they are out there...

Crystal said...

What bothers me most about the last one is the price tag that makes it look like it is being sold at a garage sale.

Claire said...

I agree with John up there; definitely pining for the fjords.

There's not much creepier than a Scandinavian clown! http://www.bonbon-clown.dk/Bonbon_og_Tiinas_Hjemmesider/Fotos.html

Kim said...

#4 totally had me thinking of "It" (shudders)

Shalmeno said...

He's pushing up the daisies!

Melanie Nielsen said...

Can't sleep...clown will eat me!

Elizabeth said...

I've never been afraid of clowns, and have enjoyed mocking my sister who is. I may have to repent.

Oh, and continuing the little-known remembrances...tomorrow is National Mustard Day.

WeyMama said...

LOL SOOO glad I'm not the only one that thought 'dirty diaper' at seeing that last one....

Anonymous said...

This post makes me wonder if it's even possible to make a clown cake that isn't creepy. I thought about Pennywise throughout the entire post.

I hate to go all grammar goon on you, but you hit on one of my pet peeves... Those would be severed heads. The body has been decapitated. The head has been severed. There's no such thing as a decapitated head.

Okay, I feel better now.

Jan said...

Hah hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!

Jan H. said...

Hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!!

Becca said...

I was delighted to recognise the Dead Parrot sketch reference! Usually pop culture jokes pass right over my head.

"He's pinin' for the fjords."
"Pinin' for the fjords?!"

Jan said...

Hah hah, love the Monty Python reference!

Boy George said...

I've never been afraid of clowns, either, but I have always found them boring, if not annoying. (However, I do LOVE most of the clown acts in Cirque du Soleil shows.)

So, what's up with dead clowns showing up in bakeries all over the place? Do cake decorators hate clowns?

Molly Malone said...

Dead Parrot! Love it!
I have to tell you though that that second clown is definitely going to give me nightmares tonight...

Anonymous said...

Yay for the Dead Parrot reference!

Anonymous said...

Eeeeyuk, clowns are frightening enough as it is.....

~Nikki~ said...

Ok I thought a was a clown phobic before today, but this posting just completely sealed the deal for me....



check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

BADKarma! said...

I'm pretty sure that second-to-last one has, in fact, joined the Clown-car Eternal.

TeaLady said...

Dead parrot. Dead clown. Same thing.

Melissa said...

How many nightmares do you think this page will be responsible for this evening? : )

Minyassa said...

AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*whimper*

livingjetlag said...

The only reason the cake is able to stay on the tray is that it has been nailed there!

B said...

Gah! Creepy clowns!

I dislike clowns so much that when I took the Wilton course for cake decorating, I searched the web for any type of pick to place on top of the icing "body". I was successful and made creepy leprachauns instead. Score!

Gary said...

OK, anybody still want to argue that clowns are not inherently creepy?

Shayna said...

... I never thought of clown cars in terms of TARDIS's before, and yet suddenly it makes sense.
Add that to the list of People Who Are Secretly Time Lords. Another person who makes this list is Mary Poppins (what? She's got the lamp in the bag... there's no way she isn't...).

Anyways. The dead clowns are disturbing. O.o

Amy Christensen said...

I LOVE your Monty Python quotes!!

VeggieT said...

Dr. who + clowns for-the-win!

Ingeborg said...

Python reference! YES! :D

shikishinobi said...

For the mass populus, clowns are scary. This may be, in fact, a wreckoraters attempt to make clowns look less frightening. So where is the cake clown car to pack all the dead clowns into so we can make just one trip to the cemetary?

Wolvie Girl said...

Clown number 1 looks like he has rotten lettuce on his head. Mmmmm tasty. I think I'll be buying my cakes from Notlob from now on.

Word verification - poopwa. No I don't have any definitions for this one, I just thought it was kind of appropriate since clowns scare the crap outta me :D

Anonymous said...

No no he's puckered out after a long squawk! He was pining for the fjords!

Sarah H

Margaret said...

I think that one is pining for the fjords.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Why are these clowns dead!? Clowns are scary enough without some poor soul having to eat the dead head of one!

Erdile said...

That first clown has some luscious lips. :D

tiny purple elephant said...

lol i needed the second to get the cross eyed joke....

Anonymous said...

I once saw w shirt that said can't sleep clowns will eat me. Maybe the cake designers today wore that

Sarah Schwerin said...

*twitching* THE HORROR! As a coulrophobe I like the idea of a "Dead Clown" week.

Craig said...

I don't get the whole fear-of-clowns thing, though I could be tempted in that direction by the first two. Remember the days of yore, when clowns had smiling eyes? Or eyes at all?

I wonder what would happen if Mr. Praline put 4,000 volts through these wrecks. (If he's still stuck between Ipswich and Bolton / Notlob, I'd be happy to volunteer.) Would they go 'VOOM'?

I'd ask if there are any Spam cakes, but given the literal-mindedness of wreckerators, I dread the answer.

@John, I agree on 'rung', per 'All The Words'.

Jennifer said...

Ah, the Norwegian Blue... beautiful plumage!

Arlene said...

Ok I say Pennywise from IT got those clowns and killed them all in a variety of painful ways lol. Which leaves me here hiding under my bed with a flyswatter pretending it is a shotgun.. that movie and clowns now give me the creeps.

Anonymous said...

These cakes would be perfect to nosh on while watching "Killer Klowns for Outer Space".

Lena said...

This blog is so funny!!!

Lori @ RRSAHM said...

Listen to y'all with your blatant clown hate. *sigh*

As an real life ex-clown (seriously), it saddens me. I should give you all a kick up the bum with my massive clown shoes ;o)

lawnajo said...

When my 4 year old daughter saw the last one she said, "Those are Snow White's clothes." I guess it was the blue/yellow combo.

Me! said...

I'm even more afraid of clowns now... thanks.
I'll give you the name of my therapist so you can pay for my therapy now.

Procrastinateher said...

Yay for being a nerd and getting
half of those cheeky references :)
Love your work.

Lucky for me, clowns creep me out. Unlucky for me, clown make-up will now remind me of copious amounts of icing, and may entice me to lick a clown's face.

...I'm not weird at all.

Heenlene is a word now? To one Wreckerator, it probably is.

edwinsiew said...

national clown week? we have everything for everything...

Strawberry Blogs Forever said...

You know, I am just as creeped out by clowns as The Boob Nazi and many others who listed themselves "Anonymous" (and for good reason that they did!) but the fact that all of these bright cheery clowns are dead somehow makes it all better.

Drawn to Caricature said...

I feel compelled to say about the cross-eyed clown "Beautiful Plumage!"

Anonymous said...

Mary

Those clowns are creeping me out. Remember "IT"!!!!

Amanda said...

Bahaha! Kudos for quoting Monty Python! (And srsly, why DO so many of those clowns have X's for eyes?)

Anonymous said...

Clowns often have + style make up around their eyes, like this:

http://fineartamerica.com/images-medium/jason-the-clown-patty-vicknair.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/514AJ9HNH7L.jpg

I've never seen any with X eyes though!

Anonymous said...

Maybe they're supposed to be "cross-eyed"?

Amanda Cooper said...

This is hilarious! The Monty Python quote is fully appreciated by the way.

dee said...

so do you think they all float down here?

Calvin said...

THIS, my friend, is a DEAD! PARROT!

Red Wolf said...

Ye cannae change the laws of physics!