Thursday, August 12, 2010

Gorilla Tactics

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Customer: "Hi, there. I'd like a cake that looks something like this:

...Can you do that?"

Wreckerator: "Oh sure! We do these all the time. You want some sprinkles on it? Might add a little something!"

Customer: "Er, no."

Wreckerator: Okey-doke-aroony! [folds arms and nods head, Jeannie-style]

::Doink!::

Customer [recoiling in horror]: Holy Schnikes! What is that?

Wreckerator: Not quite perfect? Here, I'll try again.


::Doink!::

Customer: Um. Maybe this was a bad idea...

Wreckerator: No! Wait! I can do this!

::Doink::

Customer: I'm pretty sure that's a pig...


::Doink!::

Customer: Riiight. Well, I think we're done here...


Wreckerator: Wait! Forget the monkey! [shuffling photos] How about these lovely palm trees?


Customer: Well, I really wanted the monkey...

Wreckerator: [straining]

::KER-DOINK!::

Customer: You know, I think I'll just grab a box of cake mix and can of frosting instead.



Thanks to Tiffany, Jenelle R., Sam L., Sabra L., and Trish S., who are all cheeky monkeys, because I say so.
Jenniffer said...

Those are some awkwardly placed bananas!!

Don't forget to vote daily for Icing Smiles at the Pepsi Refresh Project! http://www.refresheverything.com/icingsmiles

The Boob Nazi said...

The googly eyes really are quite disturbing.

Nancy said...

Is that a banana you're holding, or are you just happy to see me?

Jason said...

That first monkey looks pretty good to me.. (unless it was really supposed to be an exact copy of the top one)

Heck, even the final cake (with the palm trees) looks pretty good, except for the very top. Pretty sure the blue tier is intentionally "wavy", and the whole effect does actually look like a beach sunset.

Or maybe it's just me.

kelly said...

how freaking cute is that palm tree cake? love it!

Anonymous said...

Oh my! Poor Maksim. I would imagine that cake would scare a little two year old.

Lissy said...

OMG-- You've got to be kidding me! Why do we (as the customers) even bother anymore? Unless you want to pay a small fortune, you're going to get a wreck, or so it seems. Those monkeys were really kinda scary... Hate it for the birthday boy-- He'll be scarred for life!

Donkaloosa said...

The gorilla cakes will give me nightmares. Monkeys, even without the wings, bug me. I did like the GOOD palm tree cake, but the wreck was hideous --- even I could have done a better job!

Anonymous said...

TSUNAMI CAKE! RUN!

Anonymous said...

The first cake is disturbing! I mean, the monkey has breasts and an awkwardly placed banana.

And why would palm tree trunks be purple? I agree it's well-done in general, but the purple "pebbles?" and trunks make it a wreck to me.

TB Tabby said...

The first wreck has a t-shirt with an A on it. Was it a failed attempt at an Aiai cake?

Anonymous said...

Am I missing something? I don't see the problem with the palm tree cakes, especially the 2nd to last one. They are very immpressionistic.

Molly Malone said...

The nose on that second monkey looks like he might have done a little too much cocaine..! *shudder*

LaurenH said...

Wow. I was pretty creeped out by the original monkey cake, you know the guy rocking the 'X-Files black oil' look :P

They only got scarier...

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Now where else on the web could I find a zombie monkey cake? Thank you!!

Chaos6267 said...

Oook... the eyes on the first monkey remind me of aliens... although otherwise it's pretty good. The second monkey has no nose. Or maybe the nose is the thing at the bottom of it's head and it has no mouth. I have NO idea. Notice the subtle dead monkey to the left of the middle one. And unfortunately, that monkey loos like it is about sixty percent poo. The third monkey is... interesting! It's like curious george after eating three turkeys and then getting drunk. The pig looks like an evil mario nemisis. Look! It can shoot cannon balls out of it's snout! The fourth monkey's terribleness can barely be put to words. Squished snout, googly eyes, poo body, and frog-like position. The palm trees are actually quite pretty! Now the last cake... ok first of all the top is brownish blue. I think that means that the baker was very aware of pollution. Another thing... too much frosting!

Anonymous said...

Holy Schnikes! You must be from Sheboygan!

Mary Connealy said...

Those perfectly done HARD to do cakes just make life harder for EVRYONE.

Anonymous said...

Ok.. Well, the first monkey cake is quite scary, but the rest of the monkeys manage to be even more frightening!

Pamela said...

OMG those pigs!!!! Truly amazing that there is so much wreakiness out there for us to enjoy.

Danielle D. said...

I actually really liked the last palm tree cake!

If the baker had made the top prettier I think it would have been a really well done cake. I'm pretty sure the frosting is supposed to look like that for waves.

And its especially pretty good for not having any fondant used.

Caroline B said...

I didn't know Dr. Moreau made cakes as well - gawd, these are scary. I'm not keen on fake monkeys at the best of times (I had a toy one that I'm sure used to poke me in the eye deliberately...)but these are downright creepy.

Delia Jean Streefkerk said...

What is that bear-monkey-frog thing after the pig cake? I mean, what kind of animal is that thing? I'm still puzzled!

If the Wreckerator was like a genie, he/she would be like one Hanna-Barbara's worst characters (from the "Jeannie" cartoon), the bumbling conjurer Babu, who would say "Razzle Dazzle!" and screw up every bit of magic he ever did. I hated that show when I was a kid, but I love Cake Wrecks!

Anonymous said...

Poor monkeys.

I actually liked the palm tree/sunset cake in fondant - really pretty, and the second one... well.. other than the oddly colored top? - not bad.

Sorry they didn't have a monkey, but did they really ask for one?

The pig appears to be a crossover with Q-bert... funny how Jen didn't see that?

~~Di

Craig said...

#1 is ok, except for the E.T. eyes and the 'banana'. Good thing the wreckerator left the peel on, so that no one (except about 99% of viewers) would get the wrong idea.

#2 looks like a mouse after about 50 cups of coffee. Why does it have a spare face?

#3 CCCP (cupcake cake, patooie!). I can make out the smiley mouth, but what is going on between that and the nose -- a simian vortex of doom?

#4 Mrs. Arable: "Could you make me a cake that looks like a spring pig?" Wreckerator (who has never been near a farm): "Ok..." (Thinking to self:) "Spring...pig? Oh well, whatever the customer wants. I'll make another one to go with it, just to mess with people who read CW."

#5 A tragic genetic engineering experiment involving Curious George, a frog and a pancake. Where is PETA when you need them?

#6 A tad Pythonesque, and therefore ok. The foot is missing, though.

#7 Ah, 'Tidal Wave at Sunset.' Such a nice, peaceful disaster in the making. Looks like the wreckerator grabbed a paint can (to use for the form) and about 150 cans of frosting. Ulp.

Susan said...

I must say as wrecky as these are, the first wreck has an almost nicely done banana, the coloring looks real. The angle is weird, though.

Ruth said...

Is that a monkey frog?

witty1 said...

I don't think that the monkey with the 'A' on it is that bad. Shrugs.

ladyrazorsharp said...

You know, I think I actually like the 2nd monkey and the last monkey rather than the example monkey. The example looks like an alien monkey with its HUGE BLACK EYES OF SOULLESS TERROR.

The others are just goofy looking. Except for the middle one; he looks like his face got caught in a steamroller.

The sunset cake...you know, you're supposed to mix the paste food coloring IN the frosting, not apply it ON the cake (at least I think so)...it's pretty arty though. Maybe nice to look at but not to eat?

LOL, wreck on, dear wreckorators! You bring us such joy.

cq75 said...

Are we sure that second cake isn't a meerkat pretending to be a monkey? And the umm... "pig"...I was leaning toward a Snowth (the pink guys with Bip Bippadotta in the Muppet Mahnamahna sketch).

wv plizip Plizip up your lips if you don't want to eat these cakes!

Fanboy Wife said...

I love these comparison cakes. Can the decorators tell they screwed up, or are they extremely delusional?

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud when I saw Maksim's cake. It's a hilarious cross between a deranged man and his creepy monkey.

jo said...

LOL you always manage to keep it fresh! love the wreckerator genie....

btw, customer is asking for trouble with the ugly gorilla cake to start with.

wv: waten. The customer was tired of waten for the wreckerator to get it right so she'd just figure she'd make her own cake.

Amanda Mac said...

So the first cake may be an "inspiration" cake, but it creeps me out worse than the wrecks!

Kristers said...

Did you notice the decapitated friend of the monkey in the first try photo? Because that's what happens to monkey cakes when they are bad--they get their head's cut off and surrounded by weird looking palm trees. And another full size monkey cake who can point and laugh at him.

Janae said...

I love your blog, it makes me smile everyday! Thanks!

Kelli said...

Hey, I did a wedding cake for a friend like the first palm tree cake, only mine was 4 tiers tall! It was based off something she found on the web. The "pebbles" and tree trunks were grey in the original, but when photographed, really do look purple! As for the monkey cakes - oh my! We should just close our eyes and walk away.

VW: blystea - The decorators of the monkey cakes must have had a blystea on their finger.

Squidley said...

3rd Doink down: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does...

Anonymous said...

Isn't that first cake from one of Tori Spelling's kids' first birthday? (1) Make your own joke here about that, and 2) don't ask me how I knew, but if I remember correctly, they thought it turned out a little scary as well).

wv: pairthen-- A two-for-one sale on ugly cakes? Make it a pairthen.

Queen Julian XIII said...

When I got to the second picture, I yelled "OH HOLY SHNIKES!!" Then I scrolled a bit more and read that you had said the same thing. I feel honored to share the exclamation with you. :D

Single Dad Laughing said...

Whoever's second birthday it is, is going to have some serious nightmares involving killer lazy-eyed monkeys. And I really can't figure out what that first monkey is doing. I was gonna go see a Rated R movie tonight, but I think I've had my fix. Thanks.

Single Dad Laughing (danoah.com)

Anonymous said...

All the monkey cakes, even the first one, creep me out!
But that last tree/sunset cake, I would buy. Put a nice topper to cover up the one funky area and that is a dern cute cake!

Ems said...

OMG, those were the scariest looking "monkeys" I have ever seen. If I presented that cake at my 2 year old's birthday he would have left his party screaming!

Anonymous said...

This might have been the first time I disliked to "good" examples as much as the wrecks. That very first gorilla is creepy, and since when are palm tree trunks purple? I like the colors on the beach wreck much better, although the style wasn't executed well.

wv: coggiest - The decorator tips were the coggiest I'd ever seen.

Anonymous said...

I think the 3rd pic looks like my Jr. High Art teacher.

Peachkins said...

Y'all do realize that the first palm tree cake is supposed to be the photographed inspiration for the second one, right? Just checking. :) By the way, the second palm tree cake is hideous. Don't even make me start on the monkeys. [Shiver]

The Dream Police Person! said...

You call that decapitated "monkey" head in a box disturbing? Ha! Cuz that was totally Mario's decapitated head in a box.

Anonymous said...

I love the last one with the sunset and palm trees. Gives me an escape from work the the beach of my dreams.

word verification: ruclo, the small quiet cousin to ruckus.

Gena said...

Interesting! I just made a gorilla cake for my son! You be the judge: http://www.flickr.com/photos/genamex/4885676853/

Anonymous said...

I love the way the 'seagulls' in the last cake are all upside down.

Anonymous said...

What's in the first gorilla's hand. (Not the hand with the banana) It looks like a button.

Kate said...

I found your site from Servant To a King. I love it. I’m going to poke around a little bit, but don’t worry I’ll put everything back where I found it!!

Wolvie Girl said...

I actually thought the second cake (monkey with leaves on its head)was less creepy than the mutant tellytubbie with a candle stuck into its head, right up till I saw the random severed monkey head. Notice that the severed head has nostrils and the other one doesn't? Maybe leafyhead is Voldemonkey wreaking a terrible revenge on the non nostril-impaired.

shikishinobi said...

"Why is it that all white transexuals look like Barbara Eiden?"
Okay, back on topic. I hope that the wreckorater wasn't modeling the monkey because that is a massive FAIL! Even the palm tree cake was a massive blooper. Where do they get the idea that these things are correct?

Anonymous said...

lololol those were pathetic

Carrietastic said...

D'awwww, I don't see anything wrong with the 2nd to last cake (the 1st palm tree cake). It's purty.

Actually, Hawaii would be a really cool theme for either a Wrecky entry or a Sunday Sweets entry, but then again I'm semi-obsessed with all things Hawaiian, so I'm biased.

Something Blue said...

I think the first one (the good monkey) was from Tori & Dean's show.

Aliza said...

I think I'm in the club that isn't a fan of the model cakes' style (although they are beautifully executed). The A monkey is almost cute, although execution isn't perfect and that dead monkey to the left is rather disturbing.

Poor Maksim, glad he's too young to know how horrible that cake is (or to remember it).

What's with the pig-crabs??? And the one after that-- it at least looks edible. Is it a dog-monkey?

The sunset model cake looks like an 11 year old girl went nuts with the puffy foam. And I've never seen a purple-trunked palm tree! The last one is lovely in concept, just execution needs work (*smooth* the icing, folks!!).

Brooke said...

More people should say "Okey-doke-aroony." Just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

On that second to last one, is that... is that a piece of peanut butter covered TOAST for its mouth?

Arlene said...

Lol those cakes are bound to give me nightmares for weeks. Scary and it isn't even halloween yet! I can't wait to see what they do to those cakes.. and I will make sure to drink tons of coffee as well lol.

Ragnhild K said...

Did anyone else notice that the first monkey/gorilla there looks eerily like Tom Jones? A semi-clad Tom Jones, holding a banana that is... Spooky..

Stefan said...

Given that the original monkey was a wreck, you can't really fault the decorators there. "I want a wreck" - "here is one for you".

NYCGirl said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one to find the original monkey creepy. (Shudders.)

The Beaudoins said...

I am brought back to the recent season of True Beauty, where the contestants had to pose naked with food for a Las Vegas billboard advertising buffets.

The guy who got fruit: "I'm going to hold my banana right here, so it looks like my JUNK. Get it?"

Diana said...

I hate to say this, but I like the second palm tree cake better. It looks way more artistic and less cartoony.

lauren said...

does anyone else think that the first monkey cake looks like steve guttenberg?? ha! -lauren

gryphonesse said...

this just reinforces my irrational fear of monkeys. They're right up there with clowns for me. I need a shower.

~Nikki~ said...

That first gorilla is almost cute!



check out my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

thukpa said...

Since this one was a relatively family-friendly one, I let my 5-year old take a gander. On the last monkey before the palm trees I asked my son if he'd like a cake like that. His reply? "Um....Is that poop?"

travel jakarta bandung said...

hmmm yummy make me hungry again hehe

Anonymous said...

The last palm-tree cake belonged to a friend's family member of mine. The cake she WANTED was the first palm tree cake... for her WEDDING. The second is what she got. And yes, that is exactly what it looks like: over an inch thick crust of whipped icing all over the cake. WHITE icing. That is air brushed. To DEATH.

Anonymous said...

http://media.cakecentral.com/modules/coppermine/albums/userpics/614303/Picture143.jpg

I think this was actually supposed to be what that palm tree cake was based off of, instead of the one shown? Just sayin.

Brody said...

I actually really like the last palm tree cake! The top isn't the greatest, but I can see what they were going for. But yeah, those monkey cakes... creeeeepy.