Thursday, January 28, 2010

Unexcepted Seamen

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Ahh, there's nothing like unintentionally inappropriate greetings at the bakery!

Hey, you put a giant dog bone on your cake, you're going to get a few Freudian slips.


For the new mom coming home with the baby:

Guys, here's a tip: subliminal messages work better in audio.


Of course, when you're actually trying for something a little risque, you can count on a Wreckerator to botch that up, too:

This was supposed to say "unexpected semen."

Aw, you couples and your pet names for each other! You're just so gosh darn cute.


Megan N., Alana Q., & Anony M., in the spirit of this post I'm sending you a wholly inappropriate (but mercifully virtual) butt-slap each right now. Great job!

- Related Wreckage: Inappropriate, Much?

UPDATE: I'm told that the last cake was from a hubby to his wife, and that she was an accidental pregnancy. So yes, it was an inside joke gone wrong, but I think she still found it funny. That's all I know! Promise!
Anonymous said...

Oddly enough, the balloons on Margaret and Fiona's cake appear to be balloons and not colorful sperm.

Talk about your missed opportunities for subliminal messages.

--kate

Tigerwolf said...

Oh, my stars and garters! o_O

Cake #3…I’m still trying to get my head around what the original message was supposed to convey…and how they expected (heh) anyone to eat it.

Good lord, even that comment was inappropriate.

(Hmm, can’t say that…really can’t say that…nope, that comment will get me banned…OMG, way too risqué…think I’d better just let it go.)

Concern trolls complaining about this post in 3…2…1… :D

^..^
Tigerwolf

Lauren Borquez said...

Cake #1 makes me want to call PETA..The last cake makes me just want to barf.."seamen" LOL

The Boob Nazi said...

I could never eat a cake with the word "semen" on it. ewwww
Okay, who am I kidding... I'd still totally eat it.

Tainda said...

OMG I literally snort laughed at the first one!!!

Anna said...

On the last one, I read "Haby" and "Unexcypted" - I think you gave the Wreckerator too much credit there Jen.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Dog Dong day? Dog Gone day? Ding Dong Day? Head hurts. Confused.

tonkelu said...

Re: cake #3. That's okay. They can just cuddle.

Gary said...

"Have a dog ---- day"?
No thanks, I'd rather not.

Uh, I guess I tend to be too literal, but if Margaret just gave birth, isn't she probably too sore for that just now?

I guess the last one is some kind of inside joke. I'm scrtching my noggin, trying to figure out how "unexpected semen" would be better than "unexcepted seamen."

Stephanie said...

I'm not quite sure what the first one was supposed to say...

Miranda said...

But why would the original message be...er...uhhh....

omg. just omg. Just supposing I were going to say something like that on a cake, I'd order it from the bakery sans writing and do the writing myself. But honestly, I just wouldn't do it at all!

And people think black roses and candy skulls are iffy. HUMPH.

Casey said...

I'm with Tigerwolf on cake #3. Though the botchy botch is funny, what the heck is unexpected semen supposed to mean??? :)

Trevor said...

It's really a shame about #2. it's one of the few cakes we've seen that actually makes balloons look right.

as for #3... I just don't get "unexpected semen" written on a cake. HUH?

But, honestly, I don't mind some unexpected seamen showing up if they're cute.

Terry Lee said...

that's what she said.

Anonymous said...

I too, am terribly confused by the last cake. Is it meant to be a jibe at Hayley? Is it unexpected or unaccepted? Also, I read Haley as Holey. Which, when read with the rest of the text, sounded like an x-rated Robin quote.

Holey unecxepted seaman,Batman! ; )

Recapta: anifoo Anifoo can tell where the decorator's mind was on cake #2.

HurryUpCakes said...

On cake #3, perhaps Haley was the result of an accidental pregnancy and her loved ones use cake to remind her of this once a year.

Suzie Q said...

#2--Isn't that what got her into that prediciment to begin with? On second thought, maybe it is accurate after all.

#3--Maybe they couldn't put "semen" on the cake because of the bakery policy? Wait...I think I worded that wrong

msyendor said...

Well, hello0_O, sailor. *snort*

Anonymous said...

I think perhaps the second one was supposed to be a command. "Welcome. Hump Margaret."

Anonymous said...

I'm going to guess that #3 in fact was supposed to read: An Accepted Seaman, and celebrated Haley's entrance into the Navy.

John and Sarah Sperry said...

Sometimes the funniest part of your post is the appreciative remark to the wreckporter, so I hope you don't mind that the rest of us read them too! :D

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

I'm thinking the last one was supposed to be "Unaccepted Seaman." That would imply that the recipient was not qualified for the Navy, and they got a cake to commemorate the occasion.

Does that make sense to anyone else but me?

deckardcanine said...

I guess the "Hump" is supposed to be "Home," but the call taker had fondant in his ears. I still have no idea what the "Dong" was supposed to be.

WriteCards said...

Huh?

I had to literally sit and think about the 3rd cake to understand what is was supposed to mean.

NOW I get it! Birthday . . . how is one conceived . . . oh, that's right . . . semen is involved . . . oops, didn't expect that . . . especially on a cake!

Huh? Shaking head in disbelief, muttering to self . . . walking away from computer.

Fade to black.

Rusty and Bandit said...

Why do I choose to read this while I'm eating lunch? Lol.
Anna Marie

Colette said...

LMAO, that title immediately brought a South Park episode to mind ... ahhh, the differences between sea-men & semen ... and what happens in the South Park world when you combine the 2 LOL

Etiquette Bitch said...

okay, wait, on the last cw, i need more of an explanation. It was supposed to say: "Happy Birthday Haley/Unexpected Semen"???? What? Why? Inside joke? I just can't figure why that would appear on a cake....jen? story? thanks!

Sharon said...

"Unexpected Seamen"

Haley: Gee, thanks, Mom, for reminding me I was a 'oops baby' This is much classier than the comet crashing into a house cake you got me last year.
/eyeroll

I see you went with chocolate rosepoopbuds. I guess the bakery was out of little plastic male strippers in sailor suits, huh?

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha

The comments (along with the cakes and Jen's brilliant wit) have me roaring with laughter today. Thanks everyone!!!

I love the suggestion that it's a punctuation error on #2, & supposed to say "Welcome. Hump Margaret."

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee THANKS. Laughter is good for the soul. :-D
Lily

Steve the Pocket said...

Well. That last one is just unexceptable.

Anonymous said...

(Cutting the cake) "Who wants the hump?!?"

The Revolutionary said...

If I was a parent trying to explain to my child that they were an unplanned, surprise pregnancy and they still didn't understand, I would simply show them the "unexpected seamen" cake.

If that doesn't convey the message, nothing will.

3xEMonkey said...

Really, what's the "unexcepted seamen" mean? I mean... it could be... oh, well it might mean... maybe it's about... huh, oh, I was just thinking it was supposed to be... well, gee, I don't have any idea.
And a dog __ day? Do we not like the person we're giving a cake to? Is the cake poisoned? Is a Dog _ Day the opposite of having a Happy FalkerSatherhood?

Aviatrix said...

I'm with them--the ones who want more details on what and why cake #3 was supposed to say. I'm quite impressed by those who've managed to morph it into the acceptable "an accepted seaman" but I'm not buying it.

cyn said...

I don't even want to know WHY someone would want "unexpected semen" written on a cake in the first place.........


wv - sterli (pronounced: stair-lie) - With all that unexpected semen flying about, someone ought to sterli that last cake!

Attrill said...

In #2 the beer in the background explains a lot - A drunken, tired new father should never be allowed to write on a cake.

Jenn said...

Maybe it was supposed to be an instruction? To draw unexpected semen? Because really, who expects taht on their cake anyway? Which is still really high on the Ick Factor scale.

corianne said...

the first and the third cake confuse me to the point of a headache, so I'm choosing to ignore them.

The second cake is a tragedy, really, because the balloons actually look like balloons and the writing looks good. Too bad the wreckorator didn't think about what s/he was writing.

Um...yeah, anything else I can think of adding would be wildly inappropriate, so I'll just say AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and leave it at that.

Joe and Brittany said...

Funny! Don't you just love subliminal messages?! :D

Heather said...

Well, for cake #3 Maybe, since it is Hayley's Birthday it could be possible that she received the uhm "Unexpected Semen" as a er gift. Or if left as written and not what it was suppose to say maybe Hayley's daddy is was an Unexpected Seaman.

Tanya said...

Regarding cake #1, I have a friend from China whose given name is, believe it or not, Dong. Just makes the inscription even more bizarre if I think of it applying to him.

Anonymous said...

Re: Anon 11:38 AM:

I think perhaps the second one was supposed to be a command. "Welcome. Hump Margaret."

No, that's what got this whole thing started!

Rebecca F. said...

I think not giving us a back story on the seaman cake is cruel. Very cruel.

LOL....

Anonymous said...

I imagine the last one as someone trying to convince her parents that her pregnancy is the result of sitting in the wrong jacuzzi or something, but her parents counter with, "No, honey, we know it's more like the story of 'The Unexcepted Seaman.' It's a story as old as the Navy itself. Never should've tried to raise a daughter in a seaport town..."

Tigerwolf said...

What’s even more worrisome about the third cake is…don’t these people realize that, during certain types of recreational activities, semen can be VERY HIGHLY EXPECTED?!?

“Oh, dear…I can’t imagine how THAT happened, honey.”

^..^
Tigerwolf

WV: lusyn. "This wouldn't have happened if he didn't keep lusyn his personal protection!"

Anonymous said...

OO-ER Mrs!!!!

Sabrina said...

I'm also with Tigerwolf. I'm assuming it's some bad inside joke they should have kept to themselves...hahaha? Nice job wreckies, "keep 'em coming"

Corri Anne said...

Perhaps cake #3 is from somebody that Haley turned down?

Thanks for all the laughs...I'm sitting here at my desk trying not to laugh out loud.

WV: cominag ....after CW's like these I'm not even going to try to explain this!

Jenn said...

Could the first one be "Have a Dog Bone day?" It's written over a dog bone and in a loud bakery, I think someone hearing "b - o- -n- e" could have mistaken it for "d - o- n- g".

Anonymous said...

I thought Margaret's "balloons" looked a lot like breast implants, actually. Did she get a new, er, "hump" following a mastectomy, perhaps? In that case, the hump's homecoming might just be the star attraction here.

"Oh, yeah, good to see the rest of you, too, Margaret. And, uh, happy birthday Fiona, by the way. Nice headlights, everyone. Oh, look, a cake."

Anonymous said...

Maybe that's supposed to read "unexceptional" semen? There's a lot of that in the world. Sometimes it grows up to decorate cakes. :P

Erica said...

Ha ha. I actually read the first cake as "Dog Gone Day" and wondered what was so wrecky about it. Ha. Thanks to the comments, I figured out my error!

Thomas, Katie, & Eden said...

I stumbled across your blog today. I haven't laughed this hard since I found Regretsy. HILLARIOUS. Keep it up!

angelabrett said...

The third one makes me think of this:

There’s seamen in the entryway
And seamen on the stair
And worst of all, there’s even seamen
In me underwear

There’s some behind the larder
And beneath the table, too
I do believe your seamen
Got into me Irish stew

There’s seamen here in front of me
And seamen in the rear
My God—there’s even seamen
Hanging from the chandelier

(from 'The Captain's Wife's Lament' by Paul and Storm)

--Angela

sheril said...

funny Wrecks... I enjoyed them.

Kathy said...

Inside joke or not, that's just disgusting on a cake.

Lauren Borquez said...

For some reason I find the football worm poop cupcakes the most disturbing a close second would be the ugly cloud football

Sugar Mama NYC said...

maybe the cake was instructing the guests on the best way to greet Margaret when she arrived at the party.

Anonymous said...

Even if the 1st cake DID say have a Dog Gone Day, WHO wants a cake that says that?! What was the baker thinking and who did they think would buy it? My guess: people wanting giant dog heads as key chains...wait a second...giant dog heads...dog dong...giant bone...somethings wrong here.

Anonymous said...

I think the inside joke gone wrong was a blessing in disguise. It would have been much worse with the intended "unexpected semen" on it!!!

Gary said...

"I'm told that the last cake was from a hubby to his wife, and that she was an accidental pregnancy. ..."

Wait a minute, so this guy's pet name for his wife is "Unexpected Semen"???
That's pretty disturbing.
If I were the cake decorator, I wouldn't believe that, either.

"Unexcepted Seamen" would actually be better.

Anonymous said...

Well maybe the kid will be in the navy.

Craig said...

That was exceptional.

Aren't there more, I dunno... *appropriate* ways of reminding someone that they were a 'surprise'? Is that something a person is likely to forget / needs to remember?

Or perhaps Haley had been away for, you know, quite a while and the cake was ordered by phone... And the wreckerator's idea of tact was to leave the 'oops' out... Though that doesn't explain 'unexcepted' for 'unexpected'.

True tact would have been to say, "Why don't you call back in a few minutes and we'll try this again."