Which, at least with these cakes, I'm pretty sure it is.
Sure, this may look like a fuzzy potato wearing a Skeletor mask and a literal banana hammock, but I think it's supposed to be a monkey. (Yes, a monkey.) Which kinda makes Shara's Curious George Wreck look positively cuddly by comparison, huh?Still, it could've been worse. That banana hammock could have been made with these:
Peeling Lucky, punk?Well, I wouldn't advise it; Lucky here has one nasty split personality.
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)
Hey bakers, do you have too many customers? Is the constant stream of business interfering with your "me time"? Tired of making all those cakes? No problem!! Now you can scare those paying customers off with THE FACE OF PURE EVIL™!
"I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.(OH, AND TRY THE ECLAIRS. THEY'RE DELISH.)"
Alice, Baily A., & Liz B., these Wrecks aren't boaring you, are they?
- Related Wreckage: I Call Fowl
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129 comments | Post a Comment
Cake #1 - Are they preserving the rotted corpse of Mr. Peanut?
Cake #2 looks like a banana version of Ursula from The Little Mermaid.
Cake #3 - Put a wig on it and it’s that scene from Saw.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.....-I'm scared now. And imagine the amount of dye on that last...thing....Ehough to make you hurl if you haven't already.
Word veri.-fruneev. Guys, these cakes aren't fruneev....
Is that last one a pig head or horse head? We either have Lord of the Flies or The Godfather movie #1. Either way, EEK!
The banana reminds me of a mix of Mr T and the Chiquita banana cartoon lady.
The boar's head is TERRIFYING!!!!!
Now this is the stuff of recurring nightmares!!
The boar's head looks like the eyes follow you when you look at it carefully.
*SHUDDER*
**DOUBLE SHUDDER**
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh (runs away screaming in utter terror at the pig head cake)
Who would order a pig head cake?? yikes! I mean, what are they celebrating?
The last cake must be part of a series called, "Great Works of Literature in Cake." Perhaps "Lord of the Flies" wasn't the best choice for inclusion.
WV: linsup--Wreckerators don't always ensure that the writing on the cake linsup.
Does anyone else see a dead California Raisin on the first cake?
What's with the green butterfly wings and poo branches on Mr. Well-endowed Potato? The feminine banana I just don't get. (Cross-dresser's birthday cake?)
The last one looks like it came from the meat department. Until I saw the pretty fondant cake to the left. ew. Why would you want to order a pig face? or maybe this is a really small store and there's a little cross-contamination going on in that case....
wv antshe: these cakes are making me so nervous I'm getting antshe.
the boar head cake makes me think of the melting boar in princess mononoke.
What occasion would possibly include a boars head on a radish laden platter? It makes my tummy gurgle at the mere thought.
Have.to.turn.away.
WOW! How clever of the baker to realise that there is a market for dominatrix banana cakes!
That first one kinda looks like a Hollow.
Despite it being terrifying, if the last cake could speak I just think it would be enormously camp...
OMG I have been searching high and low for the perfect cake for my "Lord of the Flies" themed party for my 3 year old! You've found it! Bravo!
"And now let's all sing together a traditional english Christmas carol Ahem...
The Boar's head in hand bear I bidect with bays and rosemary!..."
True Story
Ok...my first thought on that banana cake....Michael Jackson....
@duffylou: Like you, I'm baffled by the radishes. WHY RADISHES? Why?!?
Here's a tip to future decorators: cake and radishes -- they don't mix.
I actually kind of like the last cake. Maybe you would serve it at a RenFaire or other medieval-themed dinner? My first thought was the "Boar's Head Carol":
"The boar's head in hand bear I,
"Bedecked with sage and rosemary..."
OOoh, pig's head cake. What a good way to curb the appetite. Unless you have a suckling pig present, you won't have to cater much at THAT party.
Haha it may be disturbing, but the pig head is actually pretty well done!
The last cake is creepy... imagine you see a yummy roasted pig, take a slice of if and it tastes like... wait a minute...CAKE?? What's next, meat pie with sprinkles and buttercream on the outside? :D :D
When I was in a Renaissance music ensemble, we were hired every year to play at a Boar's Head feast. Every year, they brought out the boar's head on a platter and sang a song about the boar's head. Judging by the looks of it, they used the same boar's head every year.
Perhaps I should recommend Baker #3 to them since the ol' boar's head was getting a bit shabby after years of use. At least they could eat it after the feast...
Is it just me, or is the most terrifying part of that first cake the... erm... "tree trunks"? AUGH!
As to that other two? OHDEARLORD MY EYYYYYES!!!
I did not see bananas on the creepy potato-monkey cake.
I saw a yellow foot.
{shudder}
The boar's head cake (#3) is remarkably well-executed, if you can get past the cognitive dissonance of "boar's head" and "cake" describing the same item.
Heh. On the "monkey" cake, I thought the yellow things were feet, not banana bunches, until I read your commentary! (Take a look at the middle one and especially the one in the upper left - looks like it has some gnarly toes and a really big toe nail!) Makes it seem quite surreal. :-)
I'd love to know what the baker was thinking when he/she decided to make a boar's head cake!
two things come to mind:
1. those are definitely poo tree trunks on wreck #1
2. bananas ought never to wear lipsick and mascara. it's just not done.
I think I understand what's going on with that last one. It's for a "Lord of the Flies" themed birthday party. The kid who loses at pin the tail on the donkey gets crushed by a giant rock.
--Beth
A turd in a skeletor mask, a banana with the face of a western movie 'gal' and some strange head. It looks like the red villain (name lost) form the Powerpuff Girls. It might be the cakes form hell, but at least we can make fun of them.
At least the banana cake is pretty carefully done. It took me a while to realize that the tomb-like monkey had his little arms in front of him to hold a bunch of bananas. I thought he was wearing a yellow foot for a necklace.
What exactly do you do to icing to make it look like roasted animal skin? Nevermind. Don't wanna know.
And, and...radishes? Hm. Radishes.
The third cake reminds me of the pig heads I used to see around the holidays, when we'd get a full roasted pig, complete with a head. The only thing missing is the apple in its mouth. So...it kind of made me feel nostalgic. I have to admit, it *does* look pretty realistic.
Granted, a boar's head cake is kind of creepy out of context, but if there was a good context for it, I wouldn't consider it a wreck. Like maybe some pub called Boar's Head ordered it. Then it'd be kind of cool.
I've made some pretty gory cakes that were highly appreciated in their proper contexts (usually RPG sessions).
Now, if it was something where the decorator went with their own random gory design and the situation didn't call for it, then it'd be a wreck.
A cake boar's head would certainly be preferable to the real thing. Every year, at a college where I worked, there was a medeival dinner complete with a frozen boar's head. They got a new one every year, which meant that the old one ended up in all kinds of places - including, one year, FACE UP ON THE TOILET SEAT IN MY APARTMENT. I don't think I've ever screamed that loud. It weighed over 30 lbs and was gigantic. I wish it had been cake, instead of thawing nasty pork.
I'm just guessing here, but that pigs head might actually be really good! In World of Warcraft (10 million players, online game) there is a giant feast that looks a lot like that! It made me think of it right away so, if that's what they were going for, they did a great job!
Oh migration, that last one is really super creepy.
That's always what I pictured the boar's head in "Lord of the Flies" to look like.
Poor little Simon...
hahhahah taylor I thought the same thing!!!! The last one absolutely terrifies me though...
Bad puns! Bad! Bad! I'm going to giggle and my coworkers will notice what I'm doing!
Skeletor is so right on!!!1
cake #3 Wow! Lord of the Flies cake! I wonder what flavor? Liked the book, the cake, well, I'm not sure, it might be growing on me. The supermarket in the town I grew up in had massive pig's heads for sale every harvest suspended in the freezer section, it could be pretty startling, walk around the corner & bang! Rows of huge pigs heads hung & "looking" back at you. Like the poster above, I could see it at a RenFaire, or for your kids birthday if you find them really, really disturbing. As long as it doesn't taste like head cheese, bleh!
After that pig head, the first one aint so bad
You know that monkey is holding the bunch of bananas like how a bride holds her flowers..
The last one reminds me of the mask from the SAW movies. lol
Wow great pig cake there. Perfect for those "Lord of the Flies" themed birthdays all the 10 year old boys are haing these days.
I once fashioned a pig's head out of milk duds and put it on a skewer and brought it to English class. Yeah, that earned me a trip to the Guidance Counselor...
"Kneel before the might of Sutekh!"
I have to say, though, if I were a literature teacher who worked for a school that allowed for twisted humor (instead of the usual "Oh God, oh God this kid drew stick figures kicking each other call the therapists!!!"), that hog head cake would be perfect for our end-of-the-semester Lord of the Flies theme party.
That banana…
…made me think of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gysLH0sCm3c
My apologies to those of you about to lose your sanity.
^..^
WV: sumsetr. That was sumsetr bananas on that scary monkey!
I never liked Lord of the Flies, and that last cake is bringing up some bad memories of 8th grade (and 11th)... No. Just, no. *curls up in fetal position crying from the memories*
i thought the first one might be one of the singing 'california raisins'; the second one a seductive moon/banana hybrid, and i can only guess that the boar's head is for a luau, or maybe for the 'boars head' meat company's annual employee party.
-helen
wv: persness- 'will the persness who made these cakes please consider early retirement?'
Finally I have a go-to baker for my upcoming parties celebrating The Godfather, Seven, Sleepy Hollow and Mars Attacks! Think they could also handle The Man With Two Brains?
You know, I think that pig is actually foaming at the mouth a little. . .
Liz in Seattle
Why does the third cake remind me of "Loed of the Flies?"
:D
Jenn
'Moisturize me!' The second cake reminds me of Cassandra, the Last Human in Doctor Who.
I think the first one is supposed to be a Wild Thing from "Where The Wild Things Are." Of course, it looks that Wild Thing would like to eat us...
Chiquito, the hot new fashion designer, sued the tabloid yesterday for referring to his new line of apparel as "fruity."
All I can think of with the last cake is, "Kill the pig. Spill her blood. Bash her in."
WV: thling: What is that thling??
I never read "Lord of the Flies." Now you've got me curious.
I'm guessing that last cake was done for a Boar's Head Yule Log festival, since that is held in early January.
The memory of that first one will help me stick to my post-holiday diet for a long time.
**snicker** My word verification is "sperm".
Is it just me or does cake #2 look like a drag queen banana? Just sayin'...
OMG!!! that last one is a relic from the godfather movies isn' it?
It totally made me shudder.
WHAT was someone thinking about?!
LOL, "literal banana hammock"! Well said.
Holy scary pig cake.
What's with the radishes?
I think the last cake is fabulous. It allows you to create the impression of a sumptuous royal feast with just one course. And that course is cake!
Could the boars head cake actually be an Arkansas Razorback? The way it is laid out on a platter, though, I think this might be the cake the opposing team would order for tailgating, not one the Hog fan would order.
Is that last one supposed to be for a "Lord of the Flies" party?
Our Episcopal Church has a Boars Head Celebration every year. It is a big formal occasion with the symphony and opera singers. There are amazing costumes, and the whole thing is an analogy of the triumph of good over evil (ie, Christ being born into the world). I was recently on vacation and had the opportunity to see a wild boar in the wild, and I can assure you it would make one happy to see its head on a platter! Those things are big, brave, and frightening! But I digress, we use a paper mache boars head but a cake like this would be amazing.
Hey Jen!
Thank you so much for raising money for TWLOHA for Christmas! It is so appreciated and we're putting it toward our IM Alive project, an live online crisis center (more info here: http://www.twloha.com/move/imalive/). We're partnering with the Kristin Brooks Hope Center to get this started.
Right now we are currently in the running to win $1 million from Chase Community Giving to help fund this project, we just need our supporters to vote for us. It's really easy to vote and it takes about 3 seconds...Any help you can provide would be amazing! Tell all of your friends! To vote, go here: http://bit.ly/7si7Be.
Thank you so much! We love your blog (definitely adds some light to our heavy days!)
With Hope,
Team TWLOHA
No, Michelle, it's not just you...
Wow...I actually thought the first one was a cockroach for a minute...
These are pretty terrifying!
To me the boar's head resembled what I'd always pictured the cupachabra looked like. Ha.
Oh, that last one is from the movie Motel Hell, right? "It takes all kinds of critters..."
That first one reminds me of something from "Happy Gilmore":
"I eat pieces of $#!t like you for breakfast!"
"You eat pieces of $#!t for breakfast?"
WV--speiffi: what these cakes are NOT.
Thanks to the caption at the bottom of the Sugary Pig's Head of Horror, I not keep getting a visual of the thing sitting in the window of the bakery yelling random apocalyptic, bakery-themed stuff at people XD
"Prepare to meet you're fondant-covered doom!! NOW GLUTEN FREE!! RAAAAH!!'
Maybe I'm just wierd o.0
i like the banana! its cool! can i have that for my birthday?
Third cake looks like a great diet motivation cake.
That monkey cake is seriously disturbing.
I must be weird because I thought the pig head was pretty cool. Sure would be a talked about center piece.
That first cake looks like some sort of Death Mask-wearing tree-stump entity. Even for a Death Mask it looks grim. I'm pretty sure I'm going to wake up one night and find that thing watching me through a window.
Mary, I agree with you. The boar's head cake is a great subtlety ("illusion food"). It would be welcome at most any S.C.A. event.
Did someone ask for a Lord of the Flies cake or what?
My daughter works for the National Pork Producers and as part of her job, she sends out recipes for things like a whole hog roast, or a Holiday Boar's head (or Head Cheese). I'm sure Cake #3 is not quite what she is looking for.
WV dewari. After looking at the cakes today, we need to have a little more Dewari on the rocks.
AHHHH!!!! Lord of the Flies flashbacks! Get it away, get it away! D:
am i the only one thinking of Lord of the Flies here?
Yikes. Terrible.
Really, I am only posting because of the wv.
wv: derbowle - (in German accent) "The icing on der boars head cake really hurts der bowle."
My 4 yr old daugher happened to be looking over my shoulder and saw the pig head cake and shouted, "What is that?!!! Is that a cake made out of poop?"
You know, I've always wondered if Wreckorators read this site. I wonder if they scour it religiously in fear they'll end up on it? And you know what that makes me say? BAHAHAHAHA!
That is some NICE banana bling!
Cake #2 looks like a cross-dressing banana stripper.
That last one seems a bit Godfather...
The first made me think of Captain Caveman from the cartoons.
I think the first one totally looks like a giant cockroach!
The banana cake looks like Michael Jackson.
Wow that last cake is just frightening. When in the hell would you actually need a roasted pig head cake?
The second cake looks to be the start in a long line of Michael Jackson memorial cakes;)
Remember the Wal-Mart face cake that looked like Lady Cassandra from Doctor Who? Apparently the banana decorator is a fan, because I thought of her when I saw that cake.
The third cake reminds me of the 80's horror movie Motel Hell, where the killer farmer goes after the hero wearing a pig's head carrying a chainsaw:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlo7JFpqwK0&feature=related
It's about the 2:18 minute mark and in Spanish, but you really don't need the sound. You may not even want to see it either!
hahahaha that looks like michael jackson's face on that banana. especially the nose.
#1 I definitely think this one should be in your "#2 way to ruin a cake" post instead
#2 Honestly, when I was originally scrolling down the page I thought this one was going to be Michael Jackson...
Face of Evil looks just like Pat Robertson! Haha.
"I am Sutekh the destroyer! Your evil is my good. And I find these cakes . . . *good*."
So now we know; Sutekh is the god of wreckerators.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramids_of_Mars
I dunno - the pig head cake might just be a "sunday sweet." A really creepy, and oddly savory and delicious-looking. Mmmm.... is the filling red velvet?
That last one looks like the masks we used in college when we did the musical version of Animal Farm.
That last one is honestly really creepy. I think it's gonna give me nightmares.
I'm glad someone else thought of the demon-boar from Princess Mononoke. Needs more eldritch slime-worms, though.
I'm with Cheryl... I totally see Michael Jackson in the banana cake, in a creepy, cross-dressing freak kind of way.
We sang the boar's head carol every year at boarding school in Latin. I feel like Bertie Wooster--caput something something ferens umpty umpty Domino. Thanks for the reminder.
My butcher in Philadelphia had a pig's head in his window from time to time. You had to be brave to shop there.
I now want an Evil Boar's Head(tm) cake as the Groom's cake at my wedding! Is that wrong? (blinkblink)
I don't think I can eat this stuff. It is more of a nightmare!
Banana hammock!!!! BAAHHAAA!! Sorry - I must have been one of the few with my mind in the wrong place.
I totally saw a California Raisin first look for cake #1.
See a pic of them
http://www.juegomania.org/California+Raisins,+The/foto/pc/5/5668/5668_c.jpg/Foto+California+Raisins,+The.jpg
~Christina
Hey, what about the geeks' worst fears? That pig cake is CLEARLY Ganon, probably from Zelda 2 where the reason you didn't want Link to die was because the monsters would sprinkle his blood on the ashes of Ganon to revive him. (shudder!)
What is wrong with me? I kind of love that last one. As in it's pretty to me. And looks delicious.
(And, Anony at 12:12, I can remember more words than that, if not spell them: "Caput apri defero, reddens laudes Domino." Our version then switched to English: "The boar's head in hand bear I, bedecked with bays and rosemary. And I pray thee, Master, merry be, qui estes in convivio."
Okay, so I took another look, and no, it's not pretty. But I still kind of love it.
Monkey see,,, Monkey doodoo...
Hey Jen,
Love the site.
For some reason, the last couple of posts aren't showing up on Google Reader. I have to physically click the link to come to your site -- which I don't mind terribly, but would like to have remedied if it is possible.
Did you get a new Web format that Google doesn't recognize? (Or something else that sounds tech-smart but which I really have no clue about.)
Yours,
Amie
The pig cake..too real for me! And in cake form? Come on!!
Amy B-H
Ha, I think you missed a captioning opportunity. That last cake looks like the Lord of the Flies.
I really thought the first one was a cockroach. Ewwwww.
"Medium" just came on the tv, which I am not paying attention to, and it's not exactly a comedy. My husband just walked in, to see me chuckling quietly, my body shaking a little. Then I burst into laughter and tears. He said "are you looking at cakes again?" Ha! Yes, yes I was. He knows, this site is my happy place. Thank you :)
these are really brilliant! they could have been requested; maybe someone asked for a film noir villain banana woman or a lord of the flies cake.
This belongs in your Doctor Who section It's Sutekh from Pyramids of Mars
My guess is that the boar's head is to celebrate the New Year. It's a central European tradition (I know it from Austria) to eat pig's head for luck on New Year's Day. Thanks anyway... I'll have the cake instead!
The cakes with funny messages made laugh a lot. Drawing on a sheet of paper and then writing your exact message, is a better idea to give it to the bakery.
Hey Jen, my 5 year old just announced the 1st cake was in fact Captain Caveman!
Why no I don't force them to watch Teletoon Retro so I can see *my* cartoons.:)
I think the pig cake is AWESOME, but I'm really curious as to what kind of cake it is. Somebody said Red Velvet...that would be entertaining.
The last one is OBVIOUSLY a Lord of the Flies Cake. Seriously, who wouldn't want one of those right?