Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Talkin' Turkey Tuesday, Too

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

We're continuing to count down (up?) the top 20 ways to wreck a turkey cake. Hold on to your giblets, folks, 'cuz this is gettin' gooood.

11. By confusing turkeys with bank-robbing peacocks:

(But isn't his little kerchief mask adorable?)

H. By plumbing the depths of the phrase "intestinal fortitude":


Spoon. By anthropomorphizing a mushroom cloud:

Yes, seriously.
(I know, right?!? That's what *I* said!
)

XVI: By confusing "turkey" with "demon snuffleupagus...from Rio":


17. Or by confusing it with the Magnificent Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda:

(The resemblance is uncanny.)


R. By sketching out your next art car for "Burning Man":


And lastly...

20. By putting an Indian headdress on Cthulhu:


Nicole D., Marcy P., Sarah T., Diane M., Lindsay H., Michelle G., & Kristen R., I'm starting to forget what a turkey even looks like. I guess that means I'm ready to start decorating!

- Related Wreckage: Turkeys

NOTE: Hey, Floridians! John and I will be at the Orlando Public Library Saturday, Dec. 12th, at 2PM. Here's your chance to stock up on signed copies of Cake Wrecks, aka "the perfect stocking stuffer." ;) Go here for details, and to RSVP.
Anonymous said...

Are H and the last one actually coated in Marshmallow Fluff? If so, I'm almost impressed.

Dinah Tate said...

Ew, that last one looks so like something you'd find in the litter tray and then decorated with crepe paper. As if.

Anne said...

Both yesterday's and today's posts were terrific! I love that you included "snuffleupagus"!
I've found my turkey, but I have not found my turkey cake. OK, that's not fair, as I haven't been looking. I think I'll pass given the range of specimens available...

Word verification: framit (pronounced "frame-it")

Violet said...

The last one looks like a cross between Cthulu and one of those Virgin Mary candles you can get at the grocery store.

WV:halpawle

god halpawle these ugly cakes.

Christine said...

LOL at your number list!!!
11...H...spoon
LMBO!!!!

Tralix said...

okay I just had to say
SPOOOOOOOOOOON!

Steph W said...

haha, it took me like a full minute to realize you were messing up the numbering on purpose. *runs to the kitchen for a cup of coffee*

Taylor@myolderbrothers said...

The first one looks like a well-tanned Tweety Bird wearing a swine flu mask in front of the NBC peacock!

I feel a little slighted, Jen. You promised a top 20 and today's half only has 7. I'm no math whiz, but I think that means you're a liar. :)

Evalis said...

Jen you miscounted. You left out the number 'fork'. =P

And for spoon, you see an anthro mushroom cloud, I just see a muppet wearing a wig. Possibly Beaker.

And i don't know why but 11. makes me think 'B-rated movie'. Maybe its the corny special effects.

The burning man cake will be much better once someone eats the 'wheels'

unekdoud said...

What about the other 7?

Denise396 said...

Who taught you to count?

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Number two (pun intended) looks like he just did the Nestea plunge into a pile of multi-colored pillows.

the Provident Woman said...

The first turkey looks like he's doing a little dance too. A dancing, bank robbing turkey. Hello Thanksgiving!

Jerry said...

I snickered until I got to Cthulhu. Then I spewed out Diet Dr. Pepper. Madness indeed.

The Lili Effect said...

the headdress on Cthulu!!! Roaring with laughter.

I bow to your comic genious. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Trevor said...

Okay, Rio Turkey, as I'll call him, actually looks kind of nice to me. I think that scares me.

OMG! I LOVE Cthulu turkey! That's awesome. I mean, it's awesomely bad, but it's totally awesome that you actually called it Cthulu. You're awesome. (I think I've had too much caffine today).

And lastly.... SPOON!

Lechelle said...

intestinal fortitude seriously grossed me out!

Lechelle
www.kellyandlechelle.com (hoping to adopt)

Jill said...

Thank you for Cthulu Turkey!

Matt said...

(Spoon) looks like a pretty good depiction of what the muppet beaker would look like with a red afro.

Fluffy Cow said...

hee hee... Spoon.

These are even better (worse) than yesterday!!!
Wreck on!!

Heidi D said...

The mushroom cloud looks like Beaker with an afro. Meep meee meeep.

Jairus Durnett said...

I do kind of want a Cthulu cake. Do you think that, if I ordered one, it would look like a turkey?

Natalie said...

Rarely can I find looking at cakes so very unappetizing. Should post these on my fridge door as a diet aid.

Just Jim said...

The 3rd one reminds me of Beaker

Jameson Brown said...

Your counting seems a bit off there...

NotAlwaysCharming said...

Seriously? These are just frightening! That last one looks like a octo-turkey!

Arbolita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Chick! said...

There is nothing like intestinal cake.

Michelle said...

that anthropomorphic mushroom cloud looks a whole lot like Beaker with an afro

Natalie said...

Is it weird if I heard this in the voice of Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ("cuz this is gettin' gooood")? ... No? ... okay then :-)

Deray said...

The last one looks like an alien from Cocoon with the bright aura around, jajajajajaja

Leserlee said...

Wow.

Anonymous said...

Hey, isn't that first one the NBC network logo?? Or, perhaps, the elusive "pearky" (or as they say in southeast Asia... "Turcock" (turkey/peacock hybrid).

Love Of The Hunt said...

Call me crazy but the one thing I love about those CCC is the amount of icing they are able to pile on to 1 single little round of cake.

Viva la wrecktastic icing overload!!

Anonymous said...

I love the numbering system. And I think the last one looks more like Pthoolhu, if you know what I mean.

tangeria said...

SPOON!!! it's the battle cry of flatware everywhere!
and also, cthulu. IN THE SAME POST! my head might just explode from all of the awesome.

my captch is....whobowel, as in..."whobowel is responsible for the poo turkey?!"

Courtney said...

I lost it at "Spoon."

Giana said...

okay, seriously I sat that looking at spoon for forever trying to make sense of the sentence. When I finally realized it was "number" spoon, I about fell out of my chair laughing. I heart you Jen!

peaches1111_00 said...

Why are the 1st two turkeys flipping me the finger?

And the 3rd looks like a Muppet.

cyn said...

Cthulu with an Indian headress! That's awesome!


wv - suche - These "cakes" are suche a waste.

Famous Hat said...

I vote for the Cthulhu cake! Why choose a lesser evil?

Cyndi said...

You know what part made me bust out laughing?

Spoon.

I'm still sitting here at work giggling about it. They're going to start wondering about me.

Spoon.

LOL!

Anonymous said...

um, Jen, not to nitpick, but won't the library slightly frown upon the fans stocking up on their copies of Cake Wrecks?? either that, or that's one sucky present if you have to return it to the library...

:)

Strista said...

SPOOOON!

Pooh's Pics said...

Is it just me or does number Spoon look like Carrot Top?

Beth said...

My 3 yr old son thinks the mushroom cloud one looks like Elmo. He refuses to belive it's not Elmo.

Anna said...

But if he's a bank robber, why is *he* sticking up his cute little twig arms in the air? Well, I suppose it would go with the slipping 'kerchief. Maybe he just got busted by one of those redneck-shotgun-shell-wedding-cakes.

Cooking Monster said...

First loved meeting you in atlanta.
second, my co-worker think i am insane. i was laughing at spoon and demon snuffleupagus... from Rio when i saw the Cthulhu!
will you come and help me out, the people in the white coats are not very nice.

Anonymous said...

Thos of us of a certain age saw that first one and thought, "The following is brought to you in Living Color on NBC!"

And the last one looks like Our Turkey of Guadalupe...

Anonymous said...

spoon. hilar!
-moochmom

Elissa said...

How many people actually have *cake* for Thanksgiving anyway? And CCC, at that?

The sheer amount of icing on these is enough to make me gag, and I've always been of the "icing is the best part" school of cake enjoyment.

Elissa said...

#17. I think this is actually a Donut-Nosed Hedgehog of Lower Kazakhstan. They're sweeter-tempered than the bagel-nosed falcons.

andygirl said...

The last one looks like an alien princess in ceremonial garb. Nice.

And I would gladly drive that car to Burning Man. Good times.

Karen Valinda said...

H P Lovecraft would be proud... or shocked... by the last cake, I mean turkey.

Anonymous said...

Spoon. LOL. You and my 5 yr old would get along really well when it comes to counting :)

Anonymous said...

I had to google Cthulu, but yes there does seem to be a strong resemblance!

The Black Dog said...

I have to say that I do like the Burning Man cake, even if it was supposed to be a Turkey. Maybe I'll see if I can get a bakery to make it for me.

Kimberly Chapman said...

ITYM Poothulu. :D



wv: hypaspu

What they use on Star Trek to inject you with poo icing.

Chris, Gina and Hunter said...

The spoon one looks like Beaker from the Muppets. Even the hair! Love you guys!

Kirri said...

Flipping Ada, I am sitting here killing myself laughing....what are you doing to us??
We don't even celebrate Thanksgiving in England (why would we?) but I could still do a better Thanksgiving cake than any of those, cos, well, I know what a turkey looks like.
It's not rocket science, after all, it's a BIRD!!!
Oh, I shall have to go lie down in a darkened room for a bit, my stomach is hurting!!

Ava Lind said...

I would like for you to teach me math, please.

Amy said...

These are just pathetic. LOL

Amy B-H

Melissa said...

#Spoon distinctly reminds me of Stick Stickley.

Anonymous said...

No other blog could combine Cthulhu with cake!!!

STephanie said...

I've never heard of Cthulu, but these all made me laugh anyway.
And spoon... only you would come up with that. :P
Thanks for the laugh Jen! :)

dina54 said...

Cthulhu Turkey made my day! Best top "20" ever.

Miranda said...

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Ftaghn!

That is not dead which can eternal lie;
And with strange aeons, even death may die.

Maybe the baker is a cultist. lol ;)

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

That's not a mushroom cloud.
Its Elmo with an Afro.
DUH.

jessica said...

I think I too am starting to forget what a turkey looks like. I never realized there were so many variations of the bird.

Sheila Bennett said...

I got a real chuckle out of your use of the "number" Spoon. :)

Anonymous said...

The anthropomorphized mushroom cloud looks like the love child of Bozo the Clown and a muppet.

(Talk about sentences you never thought you'd write...)

--kate

Lucia said...

awesome!

MissKitty said...

I really can't believe I'm not the only one who thought that entry # spoon was Beaker with an afro.

Heehee.. You guys are totally my peeps.

Anonymous said...

This year I am thankful for the stunning creations of these cake decorators, that their bountiful specialized giftedness crossed your path, and that you share them with us. Keep counting the blessings!

Christina said...

I <3 Cthulu Turkey!
LMAO!

Natalie said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

It's...just...

Wow. The horror. 0_0

Fanboy Wife said...

Isn't the top one NBC's Thanksgiving logo?

Melissa (& Billy) said...

Also: Your counting reminds me of an absolutely adorable Sesame Street spot way back in the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptbp0pmcg3U

lisadh said...

Oh, Jen! These last two days have been some of your best work yet!

Awesome job!!

Have a great holiday!

Elizabeth said...

lol, is it bad that I actually like the "demon snuffleupagus...from Rio"

Aviatrix said...

Elizabeth, I like the demon snuffleupagus, too. The second one however gave me intestinal problems just looking at it.

Mikewind Dale said...

"demon snuffleupagus...from Rio"

I burst out laughing at this one. Brilliant!

Lorraine said...

Intestinal fortitude that is giving me the finger! Oh, these cakes are just awful. True Wreckage, guaranteed.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get the cthulhu reference and had to google, but then I got this:

http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html

I'm hoping someone does a Christmas cake of cthulhu now!

(First time post, but I love this blog!)-- Eliza

Anonymous said...

No offense, but #20 looks more like a pile of poo than Cthulhu!

Cogito said...

Ia! Ia! Ph'nglui mglw'gobble Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Actually, as much as I adore your Lovecraft reference, and find it spot on, the demonic Snuffie is what made me laugh till I almost wet my pants.

Thank you, I needed that.

Bek said...

yeah, Spoon definitely reminds me of Beaker post-Dr. Bunson experiment...

Poor guy.

Marcy P said...

If you wait long enough, the holiday rolls back around!

I looked at that second cake, and I had a weird sense of deja vu. Had you featured it before? No...it was from the depths of my nightmares.

I was going to photograph this years CCC on display (more pootastic than intestinal.) The managers were circling menacingly.

Dakota said...

Thanks to number Spoon, there is apple juice all over my screen!

Marcy P said...

Oh, people were snapping up the turkey CCCs this year. Not ironically, either. They were on a display table in the front of the store right when you walked in. Hence, I couldn't photograph them.

Laurie said...

That third picture is actually Beaker with a 'fro.

Anonymous said...

XVI could be Snuffy trying to escape from a bad flashback...depicted in cake.

Lucia said...

oh scary!!

Stef said...

Cthulu Turkey looks like it's already been digested...

Sparkysmom said...

Are you sure the first one Nov. 24 isn't the NBC peacock?

Sparkysmom

Christine said...

alright, who is doing the counting here? something's a bit off, and it's not just the cakes.

kyyankee7 said...

"On his sheetcake covered in icing dead Cthulhu waits dreaming". What would have happened if H. P. Lovecraft spent more time in bakeries.

Vickie said...

These are just "fowl."

(I crack myself up!)

WV: mings. These turkeys have better mings than wings!

Anne said...

I'm way too Catholic. The bottom cake looks like Our Lady of Guadalupe to me. Where on Earth do you even find the abomination known as the CCC? I don't see any in the stores near me.

thesacredandtheprofane said...

Love your numbering system. Math would probably been much easier for me had I learned it your way instead of that pesky "add one" system they force upon us from birth.

That and nice props to burning man.
You are just 100% awesome.

feathergirl said...

That mushroom cloud can't be a turkey. It can't.

Can it?

Anonymous said...

I feel cheated! That's not 20 cakes, it's only 17! "11" and then "H"??? What kind of numbering system is that? (hahahaha)

Do you have 3 more you could post? Pretty please?

Martina said...

My husband looked at intestinal fortitude and said "Oh, look, it's a poocock!" :)

Bree said...

Is Cthulhu turkey even a cake? It looks like it's all frosting.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for today's laugh!

-Julie

Shelagh said...

My husband glanced over as I scrolled down to #20 and exclaimed, "What is that, a cthulu turkey!?!" ... and then he read the caption. And now I think he wants one for Thanksgiving.

andrea said...

you only posted 15 and not twenty.

faunablues said...

Wow, "H" really does look like a cross-section of an intestine - poop contents and outer layer of connective tissue and all.
Happy post-turkey gastroenteritis day?

The Internet Gypsy said...

The last cake looks like they positively threw in the towel...

Anonymous said...

I think Cthulhu looks like Our Lady of Guadalupe done as a turkey.

Randi

Anonymous said...

I saw a turkey CCC at the grocery store that was actually *GASP* cute! I know! I'll have to take a photo of it if it is still there.

Rusty and Bandit said...

As always, your blog makes me smile even when I'm in the worst of moods. Thanks! ;)
Anna Marie

James said...

But I thought there was no spoon...

Anonymous said...

Love them all, but isn't it the Magestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda?

-Elizabeth

Kate said...

Okay that last one got me! LMAO!

Val said...

The first one looks like the NBC logo.

Miriam said...

hmmmmm did you miss the day of kindergarten where they taught you how to count? ;-)

Chuckybones said...

Every time I look at the last one, 'headdress on Cthulhu', I get 'Half Breed' by Cher stuck in my head O__o

Brighid said...

ROFL Oh my, this was the best post yet. thank you, thank you!

capri-chan said...

Spoon? Okay, now you're not even trying. XD

Also, wow on the Indian Cthulu.

bassgirl said...

I think "Spoon" looks like Harpo Marx.

Coconut said...

Did somebody mix their XIV and their XVI? :)

Anonymous said...

the bank robber looks a little scared (how cute!)

I'm still working on what type of bird #2 is (how appropriate!) because it's NOT a turkey. and it's laying on one poofy pillow. and its icing is giving me the finger (lower right) *raises eyebrow*

"By confusing "turkey" with "demon snuffleupagus...from Rio""-LOL so true! a little redfaced he is...

bagel-face looks like he got his pecker caught in a donut he was trying to steal. see how surprised he looks? (what's with his feather shape??)

tendrils on Indian headdress turkey? WTF?

and the one before him with the silhouette of a man on fire with two black holes(??) below? WTF? Is it a sci fi movie trip?

Michelle said...

I want a Cthulu turkey cake too!

Say it with me Arthur!

SPOOOOOOOON!


(hoping someone gets the Tick ref)


WV: tiessume - these wrecks never get tiessume!

joanne said...

OMG!! Mushroom Cloud is not a turkey at all! It's Lady Tottington from "Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit!" They forgot her teeth. Or maybe they were aiming for a clown or Gumby in a wig, but they GOT Lady T!

http://www.wallaceandgromit.net/characters/movie.php

Burning man looks like a ghost with an eerie glow around him. Or like something in the opening of an old James Bond film. (The silhouette of a villain he shot, perhaps?)

WV elansess: If the wreckerator wore elansess maybe they could SEE these weren't turkeys!

joanne said...

Our Lady of Guadalupe--I can totally see that, folks! Especially with the colors.

btw, does it bother anybody else that these turkeys have real foot issues? Burning man has wheels, snuffy has appendages sticking out straight from his torso, bagel face has a really WIDE stance, intestinal fortitude has no feet, and Cthulhu/Guadalupe is totally levitating. The feet aren't attached at all!

WV: fortness. the kind of strength you need to look at these retch-inducing wrecks.

Tammy said...

Love the Cthulhu cake!

Next up, Nyarlathotep?

Netgyrl said...

These were all great but Cthulu Turkey had me LOL. Love this site!

Samantha said...

I... I'm afraid these are the BEST demon cakes I've ever seen. Which holiday are we celebrating? I'm confused. Mardi gras meets Cthulu's legions!

Jennifer B said...

I just, literally, did a face-palm.

Sexy Sadie said...

The third one looks like a really weird muppet.

Apathygrrl said...

Holy Crap! I know where the mushroom cloud one comes from! It's 'Splodey, the Halifax Explosion Mascot!! He's tragedorable! Here's the video: All about Halifax. (He's only about 18 seconds in.)

Plus, I love the Cthulhu cake. It's the sweetest world devouring demon I've ever seen. I lurves me some Cthulhu cake.

Diogenes said...

Wow... #20. That's a beautiful Thanksgiving turdkey.

Brittany V said...

I think the third is Elmo!

Bianca said...

These are pretty funny, I just hope they were all tasty!

BadPixie said...

We just have to add that the first one isn't a turkey desperado--it's Gay Pride Mr. Hankie!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, my boss sent me your web page today, and I did laugh out loud at some of the pictures. But I'm not sure I'm getting the joke. The only BAD cake is one I can't eat, and I wouldn't have a problem eating any of those turkey cakes. Now the ones with the plastic and the sticks might pose a bit of a problem. Nom nom nom nom.
DigitalD

Emma said...

An insult to Uganda and Rio. And mushroom clouds.

Need I say more?

I'm gagging.

Cupcakes Lady said...

Cthulu Turkey! Hysterical. Gotta love it lol ;) xx